1 00:00:01,483 --> 00:00:03,166 [CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:06,466 Okay, kids, everyone go upstairs and hang up your skates, 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,300 and put your wet clothes in the hamper. 4 00:00:09,333 --> 00:00:11,200 No wet clothes for you, Miss Fine? 5 00:00:11,233 --> 00:00:12,250 I didn't fall. 6 00:00:12,283 --> 00:00:13,433 She didn't skate. 7 00:00:13,466 --> 00:00:17,500 And yet such a lovely ensemble. 8 00:00:17,830 --> 00:00:18,133 Oh, you should see what I wear 9 00:00:18,166 --> 00:00:20,830 when I don't play tennis. 10 00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:23,250 Oh, cranberries on a string. 11 00:00:23,283 --> 00:00:24,350 How beautiful. 12 00:00:24,383 --> 00:00:26,250 I wonder who started this tradition. 13 00:00:26,283 --> 00:00:28,366 Probably Ocean Spray. 14 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:31,150 Niles, you old scrooge. 15 00:00:31,183 --> 00:00:33,150 Get into the Christmas spirit. 16 00:00:33,183 --> 00:00:35,400 Spoken by one who doesn't have to clean it all up. 17 00:00:35,433 --> 00:00:37,133 That's the thing about Hanukkah. 18 00:00:37,166 --> 00:00:40,200 Eight candles and a menorah. No fuss, no muss. 19 00:00:40,233 --> 00:00:42,450 Is it too late to convert? Never. 20 00:00:42,483 --> 00:00:45,233 We'll get you a Bar Mitzvah and, of course, a circumcision. 21 00:00:45,266 --> 00:00:47,316 Suddenly I'm filled with the Christmas spirit. 22 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:53,316 ♪♪ She was working In a bridal shop ♪♪ 23 00:00:53,350 --> 00:00:55,160 ♪♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪♪ 24 00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:56,200 ♪♪ Till her boyfriend Kicked her out ♪♪ 25 00:00:56,233 --> 00:00:58,330 ♪♪ In one Of those crushing scenes ♪♪ 26 00:00:58,660 --> 00:00:59,366 ♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪ 27 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,283 ♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪ 28 00:01:02,316 --> 00:01:04,100 ♪♪ So over the bridge From Flushing ♪♪ 29 00:01:04,133 --> 00:01:05,366 ♪♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪♪ 30 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,160 ♪♪ She was there to sell makeup ♪♪ 31 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:08,216 ♪♪ But the father saw more ♪♪ 32 00:01:08,250 --> 00:01:09,333 ♪♪ She had style, she had flair ♪♪ 33 00:01:09,366 --> 00:01:11,500 ♪♪ She was there ♪♪ 34 00:01:11,830 --> 00:01:14,830 ♪♪ That's how she became The nanny ♪♪ 35 00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:16,283 ♪♪ Who would have guessed That the girl we described ♪♪ 36 00:01:16,316 --> 00:01:19,133 ♪♪ Was just exactly What the doctor prescribed? ♪♪ 37 00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:20,383 ♪♪ Now the father Finds her beguiling ♪♪ 38 00:01:20,416 --> 00:01:22,116 ♪♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪♪ 39 00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:23,150 ♪♪ And the kids Are actually smiling ♪♪ 40 00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:24,250 ♪♪ Such joie de vivre ♪♪ 41 00:01:24,283 --> 00:01:26,500 ♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪ 42 00:01:26,830 --> 00:01:30,183 ♪♪ When everybody else Is wearing tan ♪♪ 43 00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:32,500 ♪♪ The flashy girl From Flushing ♪♪ 44 00:01:32,830 --> 00:01:33,350 ♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪ 45 00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:42,150 Miss Fine, what on earth are you doing? 46 00:01:42,183 --> 00:01:43,250 I'm putting on the tinsel. 47 00:01:43,283 --> 00:01:44,300 [GASPS] 48 00:01:44,333 --> 00:01:45,433 Not before the lights. 49 00:01:47,116 --> 00:01:48,366 Is that a faux pas? 50 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:51,466 Lights first, ornaments second, and tinsel is always last. 51 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,160 Father's very anal about his tree trimming. 52 00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:59,200 Well, one year, we begged my mother 53 00:01:59,233 --> 00:02:00,450 for a Christmas tree. 54 00:02:00,483 --> 00:02:02,366 She called it a Hanukkah bush. 55 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:04,216 P.S.: The candles from the menorah 56 00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:06,116 set the flocking on fire, 57 00:02:06,150 --> 00:02:08,333 and the fumes put my father into the emergency room. 58 00:02:09,333 --> 00:02:11,416 A variation on the burning bush classic. 59 00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,160 My mother took the whole thing 60 00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:15,150 as a sign from God, 61 00:02:15,183 --> 00:02:17,133 and from there on in, we spent every Christmas 62 00:02:17,166 --> 00:02:19,660 at the Fontainebleau in Miami Beach. 63 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:22,333 To this day, I can't get a whiff of Bain de Soleil 64 00:02:22,366 --> 00:02:24,350 without having a yen for eggnog. 65 00:02:25,433 --> 00:02:27,330 Sir? 66 00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:29,660 Oh, Niles, splendid. Thank you very much. 67 00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:31,160 All right, everyone, stand by. 68 00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:32,133 Three, two, one... 69 00:02:32,166 --> 00:02:33,333 [ALL GASPING] 70 00:02:33,366 --> 00:02:34,416 Oh, it's beautiful. 71 00:02:34,450 --> 00:02:37,266 Niles, I thought we agreed twinkle lights. 72 00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:38,333 Here. 73 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:48,183 Miss Fine, I know it's a holiday, 74 00:02:48,216 --> 00:02:50,660 and this is a bit of an imposition, 75 00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:51,233 but would it be at all possible 76 00:02:51,266 --> 00:02:53,500 for you to work on Christmas Day? 77 00:02:53,830 --> 00:02:54,350 Oh, are you kidding? 78 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:57,830 To be part of a real Christmas is a dream come true. 79 00:02:57,116 --> 00:02:59,116 You see, I'm going to be in D.C. 80 00:02:59,150 --> 00:03:00,383 I'm producing a benefit for the Kennedy Center. 81 00:03:00,416 --> 00:03:02,283 You won't be home for Christmas? 82 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,160 He's never home for Christmas. 83 00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:07,000 Oh, now, Grace, we've been through all this. 84 00:03:07,330 --> 00:03:08,300 I'm going to be raising money for children 85 00:03:08,333 --> 00:03:10,133 less fortunate than we are. 86 00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:11,466 Yeah, but keep laying on the guilt. 87 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,416 We'll get better presents. 88 00:03:13,450 --> 00:03:15,450 Brighton, I'm not canceling it altogether. 89 00:03:15,483 --> 00:03:18,216 We'll simply celebrate it a day early. 90 00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:20,150 He's moving Christmas? 91 00:03:20,183 --> 00:03:21,416 You can do that? 92 00:03:21,450 --> 00:03:23,333 They do it for Washington's birthday. 93 00:03:23,366 --> 00:03:25,183 I never got that either. 94 00:03:25,216 --> 00:03:27,100 I mean, you go to all that trouble 95 00:03:27,133 --> 00:03:29,500 fathering a nation, and before you know it, 96 00:03:29,830 --> 00:03:31,466 you're sharing the third Monday in February 97 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,250 with Lincoln and a white sale. 98 00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:35,433 Say, I know. 99 00:03:35,466 --> 00:03:37,233 Why don't we make out our list for Santa, 100 00:03:37,266 --> 00:03:39,450 and bring it to him when we go get our picture taken? 101 00:03:39,483 --> 00:03:41,330 We already did that. 102 00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:43,830 Yeah, but I came out a little bloated. 103 00:03:44,316 --> 00:03:45,483 Isn't that cute? 104 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,330 She still believes in Santa. 105 00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:50,250 Honey, I believe in anyone that delivers. 106 00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:54,200 Well, we believe in Edna. 107 00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:57,250 Edna Claus? Would that be the missus? 108 00:03:57,283 --> 00:03:59,300 No, Fran, she's Daddy's personal shopper. 109 00:03:59,333 --> 00:04:01,830 She buys all our gifts. 110 00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:03,416 Oh, so what you're saying is, you give Edna your list, 111 00:04:03,450 --> 00:04:06,233 and she gives it to Santa? 112 00:04:06,266 --> 00:04:09,250 Please, Fran, I wasn't born yesterday. 113 00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,366 If you did believe in Santa, 114 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,200 what would you want him to bring you? 115 00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:17,660 Daddy for Christmas. 116 00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:18,283 Aww... 117 00:04:18,316 --> 00:04:20,366 Well, how about a nice Easy-Bake oven? 118 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,216 All right, I'll see what I can do. 119 00:04:27,283 --> 00:04:30,150 Oh, Niles, those poor kids, 120 00:04:30,183 --> 00:04:32,483 and that Gracie is the anti-Claus. 121 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,316 I got to go talk to Mr. Sheffield. 122 00:04:36,350 --> 00:04:38,216 Well, I hope you're not going to upset him. 123 00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:40,160 He's writing out the staff Christmas bonuses. 124 00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:41,183 Oh, how do you know? 125 00:04:41,216 --> 00:04:43,166 Well, did you think the keyholes polished themselves? 126 00:04:44,266 --> 00:04:46,200 So the nanny gets a bonus too? 127 00:04:46,233 --> 00:04:48,100 Oh, that's good news, because, you know, 128 00:04:48,133 --> 00:04:50,483 I really wanted to buy each of the kids something fabulous, 129 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,433 but have you seen the cost of fabulous nowadays? 130 00:04:53,466 --> 00:04:57,500 Please, I can't even afford wonderful. 131 00:04:57,830 --> 00:04:59,183 Fortunately, Mr. Sheffield is very generous. 132 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:01,000 Well, if he thinks that writing a check 133 00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:03,166 is gonna make up for his not being here-- 134 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:04,366 Four figures, Miss Fine. 135 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,233 Oh, well, glory to the newborn king. 136 00:05:12,316 --> 00:05:14,200 Maxwell. 137 00:05:14,233 --> 00:05:16,450 Look what I'm standing under. 138 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,216 Isn't that mistletoe? 139 00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:21,183 I'm not sure. Looks rather like holly. 140 00:05:21,216 --> 00:05:23,116 It's mistletoe. 141 00:05:24,316 --> 00:05:28,660 And I do believe tradition calls for a kiss. 142 00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:30,100 All right. 143 00:05:32,283 --> 00:05:34,830 Merry Christmas, Nanny Fine. 144 00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:35,383 Whoops, I got some lipstick on your cheek. 145 00:05:35,416 --> 00:05:37,500 Oh, for heaven's sake! 146 00:05:37,830 --> 00:05:39,250 Meanwhile, that shade looks gorgeous on you. 147 00:05:39,283 --> 00:05:41,283 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, 148 00:05:41,316 --> 00:05:44,183 do you really have to go out of town for the holidays? 149 00:05:44,216 --> 00:05:45,400 Yes, he does. 150 00:05:45,433 --> 00:05:47,433 I love the way you throw your voice like that. 151 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,500 I'm afraid I have to, Miss Fine. 152 00:05:51,830 --> 00:05:53,660 It's a very important benefit. 153 00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:55,183 We're raising money for the... 154 00:05:56,233 --> 00:05:57,250 Who are we raising money for? 155 00:05:57,283 --> 00:05:59,166 The poor, right? 156 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,116 Miss Fine, I'd love to be with the family Christmas Day, 157 00:06:01,150 --> 00:06:02,466 but I'm afraid I just can't. 158 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,660 We can't. 159 00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:05,150 You're going too? 160 00:06:05,183 --> 00:06:06,266 Uh-huh. 161 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,660 We'll be working the entire time. 162 00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:09,400 Well, I think we'll have time for dinners. 163 00:06:09,433 --> 00:06:11,660 No, no dinner. 164 00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:13,166 The only reason I'm going away with Miss Babcock 165 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,250 is for charity. 166 00:06:14,283 --> 00:06:16,660 Thank you, Maxwell. 167 00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:18,830 Well, you know what I mean. 168 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:19,200 No, no, I don't. 169 00:06:19,233 --> 00:06:21,250 What do you need, to be hit over the head? 170 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:25,483 Uh, yes, Miss Fine. Was there anything else? 171 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:27,233 Well, far be it for me 172 00:06:27,266 --> 00:06:28,383 to tell you how to do Christmas, 173 00:06:28,416 --> 00:06:30,400 but you're doing it all wrong. 174 00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:32,150 The father's going out of town, 175 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:34,660 the kids don't believe in Santa, 176 00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:36,330 and I haven't seen one stinking partridge 177 00:06:36,660 --> 00:06:37,416 on a pear tree. 178 00:06:37,450 --> 00:06:39,333 Well, that's why we're moving it up a day. 179 00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:41,216 I want it to be very special this year, 180 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:44,500 so I told my personal shopper to pull out all the stops. 181 00:06:44,830 --> 00:06:45,266 And that's another thing. 182 00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:47,350 This woman doesn't know our kids. 183 00:06:47,383 --> 00:06:50,133 A personal shopper is so impersonal, 184 00:06:50,166 --> 00:06:52,660 although not a bad career choice. 185 00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:56,283 Well, I have an interesting idea. 186 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,333 During those many hours when the children 187 00:06:58,366 --> 00:07:00,100 are away at school, Yeah? 188 00:07:00,133 --> 00:07:02,150 and you basically have nothing to do... 189 00:07:02,183 --> 00:07:04,333 I fill my days. 190 00:07:04,366 --> 00:07:06,383 Why don't you get their gifts? 191 00:07:06,416 --> 00:07:08,660 [SNICKERS] 192 00:07:08,100 --> 00:07:09,400 Well, that's not the worst idea. 193 00:07:09,433 --> 00:07:11,133 I mean, you'd know what they want. 194 00:07:11,166 --> 00:07:13,450 Don't you want to pick out your own presents? 195 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,200 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, if it were me, 196 00:07:15,233 --> 00:07:16,466 I would much rather get a gift 197 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,216 that you personally picked out. 198 00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:22,133 A gift from the heart means so much more. 199 00:07:22,166 --> 00:07:24,333 Well, I suppose I could find time 200 00:07:24,366 --> 00:07:26,660 to pop into FAO Schwarz. 201 00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:28,350 Trust me, whatever you pick out, 202 00:07:28,383 --> 00:07:31,830 they will love and cherish forever. 203 00:07:31,116 --> 00:07:33,500 Just make sure it's returnable. 204 00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:38,300 [CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING] 205 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,250 Whoo! I got the kids great stocking stuffers. 206 00:07:43,283 --> 00:07:44,450 Are you putting up a stocking? 207 00:07:44,483 --> 00:07:46,383 No, I figured I'd put up my panty hose. 208 00:07:46,416 --> 00:07:48,000 That way, I'll get double. 209 00:07:48,330 --> 00:07:49,133 Fran... 210 00:07:50,316 --> 00:07:52,100 Hello, ladies. Hi. 211 00:07:52,133 --> 00:07:55,116 Looks like somebody else went shopping besides us. 212 00:07:55,150 --> 00:07:57,483 Oh, yes, we had a wonderful time. 213 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,250 Children laughing, people passing, 214 00:08:00,283 --> 00:08:02,350 meeting smile after smile. 215 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,266 He's been doing that all day. 216 00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:10,233 So...what do you think of Brighton's bicycle? 217 00:08:10,266 --> 00:08:12,383 Who designed it, Picasso? 218 00:08:12,416 --> 00:08:14,233 Well, it's not finished yet. 219 00:08:14,266 --> 00:08:16,350 The salesman said that serious cyclists like 220 00:08:16,383 --> 00:08:18,133 to build the equipment themselves. 221 00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:19,450 Mm, they saw him coming. 222 00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:23,366 Well, if you need a few pointers, 223 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,433 Val here is very mechanical. 224 00:08:25,466 --> 00:08:27,400 I'm a plumber's daughter. 225 00:08:29,830 --> 00:08:31,383 Thank you, Val, but I'm a grown man. 226 00:08:31,416 --> 00:08:33,116 I think I should be able 227 00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:34,283 to assemble a child's bicycle. 228 00:08:34,316 --> 00:08:35,433 Oh, hey, 229 00:08:35,466 --> 00:08:38,160 may the testosterone be with you. 230 00:08:40,416 --> 00:08:42,416 Look at this great sweater that I got. 231 00:08:42,450 --> 00:08:44,266 Isn't it perfect for Maggie? 232 00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:46,150 I got great stuff for everyone. 233 00:08:46,183 --> 00:08:47,466 I hope Brighton likes Aramis. 234 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,350 What did you do, win the lottery? 235 00:08:49,383 --> 00:08:51,400 Oh, I wish. More like rubber checks. 236 00:08:51,433 --> 00:08:55,183 Don't worry, I'm not gonna let 'em bounce. 237 00:08:55,216 --> 00:08:56,383 Tomorrow, I'll get my Christmas bonus, 238 00:08:56,416 --> 00:08:58,450 Saturday and Sunday, the banks are closed, 239 00:08:58,483 --> 00:09:00,183 Monday, I'll make an instant deposit, 240 00:09:00,216 --> 00:09:03,283 and I've done my share to stimulate the economy. 241 00:09:03,316 --> 00:09:05,100 Don't you have a credit card? 242 00:09:05,133 --> 00:09:06,250 Not since my little run-in 243 00:09:06,283 --> 00:09:09,000 with Edward Scissorhands at Macy's. 244 00:09:14,150 --> 00:09:17,000 Come on, everyone, it's merry, uh... 245 00:09:17,330 --> 00:09:19,200 Merry morning of the day before Christmas. 246 00:09:19,233 --> 00:09:24,160 Gracie, Santa took a bite out of the cookies we left him. 247 00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:26,500 I didn't know Santa wore red lipstick. 248 00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:28,500 The man gets out of the house once a year. 249 00:09:28,830 --> 00:09:30,000 Live and let live. 250 00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:34,366 Fran, would you open my present first? 251 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,830 Before the family? 252 00:09:36,116 --> 00:09:38,216 All right. 253 00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:40,333 I hope you like it. I made it myself. 254 00:09:40,366 --> 00:09:42,216 I mean, it's okay if you don't. 255 00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:45,150 Honey, I'll love it, because a gift from the heart 256 00:09:45,183 --> 00:09:47,660 is worth more than the present itself, 257 00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:48,333 right, Mr. Sheffield? 258 00:09:48,366 --> 00:09:50,283 Absolutely, Miss Fine. 259 00:09:50,316 --> 00:09:53,283 Ohhhhhhhhhh... 260 00:09:56,466 --> 00:09:58,283 It's a pajama holder. 261 00:09:58,316 --> 00:10:01,216 Oh! 262 00:10:01,250 --> 00:10:03,283 And I don't already have one. 263 00:10:03,316 --> 00:10:05,300 Because you don't wear any pajamas. 264 00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:08,366 You have polished your last keyhole, mister. 265 00:10:09,366 --> 00:10:12,283 Thanks, Mags, I love it. 266 00:10:12,316 --> 00:10:14,330 Dad, I love my... 267 00:10:14,660 --> 00:10:15,466 What is this? 268 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,330 It's a bicycle...kit. 269 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,133 Bicycle kit? 270 00:10:20,166 --> 00:10:22,000 Well, half the fun of owning a bicycle 271 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,466 is building it yourself. 272 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,160 And this is from me. 273 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:30,160 Aw, gee, guys, you shouldn't have. 274 00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,330 He really wanted Cindy Crawford. 275 00:10:32,660 --> 00:10:33,466 At least she's built. 276 00:10:34,466 --> 00:10:37,166 Gee, Daddy, the screamer. 277 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,000 Thank you. 278 00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:40,400 I'm glad you like it, sweetheart. 279 00:10:40,433 --> 00:10:44,216 And I hope you understand why I can't be here tomorrow. 280 00:10:44,250 --> 00:10:45,466 I understand. 281 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,200 There's my big girl. 282 00:10:47,233 --> 00:10:49,316 Merry Christmas, sweetheart. 283 00:10:49,350 --> 00:10:52,830 Merry Christmas, Daddy. 284 00:10:54,433 --> 00:10:57,100 No hidden hostility there. 285 00:10:57,133 --> 00:10:59,350 So, Niles, what can I say? 286 00:10:59,383 --> 00:11:03,000 Year in, year out, you're a friend indeed. 287 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,433 Thank you and merry Christmas. 288 00:11:04,466 --> 00:11:06,316 Oh, thank you, sir. 289 00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:09,216 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, 290 00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:11,116 that's more than generous. 291 00:11:12,233 --> 00:11:15,466 It's hard to express just how much I deserve this. 292 00:11:16,483 --> 00:11:18,333 Well, you're welcome. 293 00:11:18,366 --> 00:11:20,660 And Miss Fine... 294 00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:21,266 Yeah? 295 00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:22,416 Miss Fine, your contribution 296 00:11:22,450 --> 00:11:25,330 to our family has not gone unnoticed. 297 00:11:25,660 --> 00:11:27,183 Oh, I think I'm gonna cry. 298 00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:31,416 Thank you and merry Christmas. 299 00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:33,450 What's this? 300 00:11:33,483 --> 00:11:35,366 Your Christmas present. 301 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,250 I gave it a lot of thought, 302 00:11:38,283 --> 00:11:40,000 picked it out myself. 303 00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:42,333 Oh... 304 00:11:42,366 --> 00:11:44,216 Ahh-ahhhh... 305 00:11:53,830 --> 00:11:55,383 Me and my big mouth. 306 00:11:55,416 --> 00:11:59,330 Niles, will you come visit me in debtor's prison? 307 00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:00,233 Miss Fine, you should be flattered 308 00:12:00,266 --> 00:12:02,216 that Mr. Sheffield got you a gift. 309 00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:05,160 I've never known him to give a staff member anything but a check. 310 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,216 Well, who the hell needed that distinction? 311 00:12:08,366 --> 00:12:10,283 You know, it really is a lovely vase. 312 00:12:10,316 --> 00:12:13,266 Gorgeous, but will it fit through an automated teller? 313 00:12:14,366 --> 00:12:17,366 Niles...if you ever catch me shopping again, 314 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,250 I want you to just slap me upside the head. 315 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,416 Oh, Maggie! 316 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:25,183 You're wearing the new sweater I got you? 317 00:12:25,216 --> 00:12:27,133 Already? Oh, I just love it. 318 00:12:27,166 --> 00:12:29,200 It's the most beautiful sweater I've ever seen. 319 00:12:29,233 --> 00:12:31,133 Oh, isn't that sweet? 320 00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:33,300 You didn't cut the tag off, did you? 321 00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:34,400 Yes. Why? 322 00:12:34,433 --> 00:12:36,383 Oh! Oh... 323 00:12:36,416 --> 00:12:39,116 That's okay, that's okay. I got the receipt. 324 00:12:39,150 --> 00:12:41,233 Fran, I'm keeping this sweater. I love it. 325 00:12:41,266 --> 00:12:42,266 No, you don't. 326 00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:43,433 Yes, I do, because you gave it to me. 327 00:12:43,466 --> 00:12:45,400 Remember what you said? "A gift from the heart..." 328 00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:50,160 Oh... All right. Wear it in good health. 329 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:51,830 Go. 330 00:12:55,116 --> 00:12:57,830 Now what am I going to do? 331 00:12:57,116 --> 00:12:59,316 That offer to lend you the money still stands. 332 00:12:59,350 --> 00:13:02,200 Oh, Niles, I consider you my friend, 333 00:13:02,233 --> 00:13:04,333 so I'll be frank-- I'm not good for it. 334 00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:06,216 But it is a perfect piece 335 00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:08,200 to start one's personal art collection. 336 00:13:08,233 --> 00:13:11,383 Thanks. This should go great next to my limbo trophy from Club Med. 337 00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:18,660 VENDOR: Haven't you got something I can unload? 338 00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:21,283 A VCR, a nice semi-automatic weapon? 339 00:13:21,316 --> 00:13:24,150 Paulie, don't you know a valuable antique 340 00:13:24,183 --> 00:13:25,366 when you see it? 341 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:29,160 This here is practically, uh... Elizabethan. 342 00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:30,660 Elizabeth Taylor? 343 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,283 No, Liz the queen. 344 00:13:32,316 --> 00:13:34,466 No can do. If you said Elizabeth Montgomery, 345 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,100 you know,Bewitched, then I could move it. 346 00:13:37,133 --> 00:13:39,830 Paulie, will you please buy the vase? 347 00:13:39,116 --> 00:13:41,116 The woman owes the world. She's desperate. 348 00:13:41,150 --> 00:13:42,316 We'll take anything. 349 00:13:42,350 --> 00:13:44,216 And that, Val, 350 00:13:44,250 --> 00:13:47,830 is why you cannot find a partner for bridge. 351 00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:56,433 Cheer up, honey. 352 00:13:56,466 --> 00:13:59,233 Look, my favorite-- It's a Wonderful Life. 353 00:13:59,266 --> 00:14:02,233 We've already seen it six times. 354 00:14:02,266 --> 00:14:04,216 Today. 355 00:14:04,250 --> 00:14:06,330 Well, there's a Christmas special 356 00:14:06,660 --> 00:14:07,283 on the shopping channel. 357 00:14:07,316 --> 00:14:09,416 TV ANNOUNCER:Call now and you can own 358 00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:12,483 It's a Wonderful Life at a wonderful price. 359 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,660 Can you believe that? 360 00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:17,466 Although, for $9.95, it is a classic. 361 00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:26,250 Niles, did you remember my attaché? Yes, sir. 362 00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:28,000 And my carry-on? Always, sir. 363 00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:29,166 Well, it seems we have everything. 364 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,366 Maxwell? Oops. 365 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,433 I guess I did forget one old bag. 366 00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:38,500 Daddy, I wish you could come to church with us. 367 00:14:38,830 --> 00:14:39,250 Do you really have to go? 368 00:14:39,283 --> 00:14:41,166 Oh, sweetheart, I'm afraid I have to. 369 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,330 I'm gonna miss you so much. 370 00:14:43,660 --> 00:14:44,150 I'll miss all of you. 371 00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:45,300 Bye, Dad. 372 00:14:45,333 --> 00:14:47,330 Merry Christmas, Daddy. 373 00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:48,316 Can't we come with you? 374 00:14:48,350 --> 00:14:50,216 No. 375 00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:53,000 I mean, oh! Wouldn't that be fun? 376 00:14:53,330 --> 00:14:55,150 But we're gonna be working around the clock. 377 00:14:55,183 --> 00:14:57,366 I'm afraid she's right, Gracie. 378 00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,150 Even if you came with me, 379 00:14:59,183 --> 00:15:00,316 I'd hardly see you. 380 00:15:00,350 --> 00:15:02,200 You'll have a lot more fun here. 381 00:15:02,233 --> 00:15:05,166 At least he only has to work Christmas. 382 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:06,350 My sister is a caterer. 383 00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:08,416 She has to work every single holiday. 384 00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:11,160 Thank God we fast on Yom Kippur, 385 00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:12,316 or we'd never see her. 386 00:15:14,383 --> 00:15:16,100 Thank you for that, Miss Fine, 387 00:15:16,133 --> 00:15:18,166 and I hope you enjoy the vase. 388 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:19,216 Huh? 389 00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:22,183 Yes. It, uh, reminded me of you-- 390 00:15:22,216 --> 00:15:24,416 One-of-a-kind with just the right accent. 391 00:15:24,450 --> 00:15:26,830 Oh. 392 00:15:26,116 --> 00:15:28,450 You've been a wonderful addition to our family. 393 00:15:28,483 --> 00:15:32,466 And I hope you cherish the vase as the children cherish you. 394 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,500 Oh... 395 00:15:34,830 --> 00:15:35,316 Merry Christmas, Miss Fine. 396 00:15:35,350 --> 00:15:36,433 Merry Christmas. 397 00:15:36,466 --> 00:15:38,266 [CHUCKLING WEAKLY] 398 00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,483 [SOBBING] 399 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:43,333 Oh, Niles, would you watch the kids for a while? 400 00:15:43,366 --> 00:15:46,500 I got to go buy a vase. 401 00:15:52,266 --> 00:15:54,000 You know... 402 00:15:54,330 --> 00:15:57,316 every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings. 403 00:15:57,350 --> 00:15:59,350 Who cares? 404 00:15:59,383 --> 00:16:00,483 Yeah? 405 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,500 Oh, Paulie, I want my vase back. 406 00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:06,183 Fran, you can't do this. How are you gonna pay your bills? 407 00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:08,660 Oh, I'll think of something. 408 00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:10,830 That little vase is the most meaningful gift 409 00:16:10,116 --> 00:16:12,350 I've ever received in my whole life. 410 00:16:12,383 --> 00:16:15,400 Oh, well, except, of course, for the Polaroid Swinger 411 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,166 you gave me for graduation. 412 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,330 I was gonna say. 413 00:16:20,350 --> 00:16:22,116 Where's my money? 414 00:16:22,150 --> 00:16:24,160 Uh... 415 00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:27,250 Paulie, would you take my watch for the same 416 00:16:27,283 --> 00:16:28,450 Fran, that's your grandmother's watch. 417 00:16:28,483 --> 00:16:31,133 She gave that to you on her deathbed! 418 00:16:31,166 --> 00:16:32,450 Thank you, Val. 419 00:16:32,483 --> 00:16:34,283 You're making this a lot easier. 420 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:42,160 Well, that's terrible, Niles. 421 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,250 Yeah, well, thank you for telling me. 422 00:16:44,283 --> 00:16:47,500 Yes. Merry Christmas to you too, old man. 423 00:16:47,416 --> 00:16:49,100 What? 424 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:52,400 Well, I gave Miss Fine a vase in lieu of a check, 425 00:16:52,433 --> 00:16:54,350 and apparently, she's just had to pawn 426 00:16:54,383 --> 00:16:56,350 her grandmother's watch to pay for the presents 427 00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,433 she had already bought for the children. 428 00:16:58,466 --> 00:17:02,100 Oh, that's tragic. It's positively Dickensian. 429 00:17:02,133 --> 00:17:04,216 Oh, well. 430 00:17:04,250 --> 00:17:07,183 I just wish there was something I could do. 431 00:17:07,216 --> 00:17:09,266 But there's no time. Our flight leaves in 10 minutes. 432 00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:11,100 MAN OVER PA: Flight 851 433 00:17:11,133 --> 00:17:13,400 going to Washington, Dulles International Airport 434 00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:16,433 will be delayed three hours. 435 00:17:16,466 --> 00:17:19,150 C.C., I'll be back in time. I promise. 436 00:17:19,183 --> 00:17:21,183 But, Maxwell, what if you miss the plane? 437 00:17:21,216 --> 00:17:23,350 What about all those poor, unfortunate people 438 00:17:23,383 --> 00:17:25,660 who are counting on us? 439 00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:27,660 If you ring that bell one more time, 440 00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:28,400 I'll wring your neck... 441 00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,133 Santa. 442 00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:47,150 Excuse me. 443 00:17:47,183 --> 00:17:48,283 Pardon me. 444 00:17:48,316 --> 00:17:50,366 Silent night. Holy night. 445 00:17:52,283 --> 00:17:54,166 Miss Fine, you're late. 446 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,416 I'm sorry, but I don't have my watch anymore. Remember? 447 00:17:57,450 --> 00:18:01,333 Oh, this place is magnificent. 448 00:18:01,366 --> 00:18:03,416 Did I miss anything? Here. 449 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:06,133 This ought to bring you up to date. 450 00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:11,160 Wow, look at the crowds at the confessional. 451 00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:13,416 There were shorter lines in gift-wrap at Macy's. 452 00:18:13,450 --> 00:18:16,216 It's been a rough year for everyone. 453 00:18:16,250 --> 00:18:18,116 Hmph! Tell me about it. 454 00:18:18,150 --> 00:18:20,383 I got a few thing I can get off my chest. 455 00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:24,216 Say, Niles, can anyone go to the confessionals, 456 00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:27,160 or is it more like the home club? 457 00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:28,400 You in a confessional? 458 00:18:28,433 --> 00:18:30,433 I'd pay good money to see that. 459 00:18:30,466 --> 00:18:33,133 Excuse me. 460 00:18:35,133 --> 00:18:37,283 All is calm. All is bright. 461 00:18:39,830 --> 00:18:41,233 Where is Fran going? 462 00:18:41,266 --> 00:18:44,330 Grace wants to know where Fran's gone. 463 00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:47,283 What's with Fran? She's gone to confess. 464 00:18:47,316 --> 00:18:50,200 She went to play chess. 465 00:18:50,233 --> 00:18:52,300 She went to undress. 466 00:18:56,283 --> 00:18:59,133 Forgive me, Father, for I have shopped. 467 00:19:00,316 --> 00:19:03,330 Gee, I don't know the penance for that. 468 00:19:03,660 --> 00:19:05,300 I suppose you could say 10 "Hail Macy's." 469 00:19:07,330 --> 00:19:09,330 Good one, Padré. 470 00:19:09,660 --> 00:19:11,133 Oh, these benches are really uncomfortable. 471 00:19:11,166 --> 00:19:13,400 I guess you don't want people to stay long, huh? 472 00:19:13,433 --> 00:19:16,266 Stay as long as you like. I'm on till midnight. 473 00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:18,483 Father Donahue got Christmas week off... 474 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:20,350 again. 475 00:19:22,183 --> 00:19:23,483 I know how you feel. 476 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,183 I'm working Christmas myself, 477 00:19:26,216 --> 00:19:28,450 and I was really looking forward to it too, 478 00:19:28,483 --> 00:19:30,450 but now it's just going to be awful. 479 00:19:30,483 --> 00:19:32,383 I mean, the father is in Washington, 480 00:19:32,416 --> 00:19:35,330 and the kids don't believe in Santa, 481 00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:36,466 I'm in hock up to my ears. 482 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,366 I just don't know what to do. 483 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,133 I hear the Fontainebleau's nice this time of year. 484 00:19:42,433 --> 00:19:45,466 At least Father Donahue says it is. 485 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,100 Oh, Father, you have more experience at this 486 00:19:49,133 --> 00:19:50,433 than I do. 487 00:19:50,466 --> 00:19:53,350 Does Christmas ever live up to one's expectations? 488 00:19:53,383 --> 00:19:56,133 That depends on what one expects. 489 00:19:56,166 --> 00:19:58,366 Oh, you're good. 490 00:19:59,333 --> 00:20:01,500 You see? 491 00:20:01,830 --> 00:20:03,400 That's why they ship Father Donahue off to Florida 492 00:20:03,433 --> 00:20:06,416 and you're working St. Paddy's Christmas Eve. 493 00:20:06,450 --> 00:20:08,830 [KNOCKING] 494 00:20:08,116 --> 00:20:10,366 There's someone in here. 495 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,150 MAXWELL: Miss Fine, it's me. 496 00:20:12,183 --> 00:20:13,333 May I come in? 497 00:20:13,366 --> 00:20:15,166 Oh, Mr. Sheffield! 498 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:16,366 What are you doing here? 499 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,383 Well, my flight was delayed. 500 00:20:18,416 --> 00:20:21,250 Look, Miss Fine, Niles told me how I got you in trouble. 501 00:20:21,283 --> 00:20:23,266 You've been so generous toward me 502 00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:24,450 and the children, 503 00:20:24,483 --> 00:20:26,500 and you've really made it 504 00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:27,366 a very special Christmas this year, 505 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,150 and I don't see why it should cost you 506 00:20:30,183 --> 00:20:32,216 your grandmother's watch. 507 00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:35,160 Oh, Mr. Sheffield. 508 00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:37,416 I got the name of the pawn shop from Val. 509 00:20:37,450 --> 00:20:39,433 Oh, I don't know what to say. 510 00:20:39,466 --> 00:20:42,660 This isn't my grandmother's watch. 511 00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:45,266 What? Oh, dear. 512 00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:48,233 I seem to have really made a mess of things. 513 00:20:48,266 --> 00:20:51,500 Oh, don't feel bad. 514 00:20:51,830 --> 00:20:53,300 At least I still have my beautiful-- 515 00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:54,333 [CRUNCH] 516 00:20:54,366 --> 00:20:56,316 [MAXWELL SCREAMING] 517 00:21:04,283 --> 00:21:07,366 Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Sheffield. 518 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,166 It's quite all right, Miss Fine. 519 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,366 It's not so much the pain as the humiliation. 520 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:15,266 Oh, now, there's nothing to be humiliated about... 521 00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:17,266 although they really should get backs 522 00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:19,330 for these gowns. 523 00:21:19,466 --> 00:21:22,200 I hope C.C.'ll be able to handle the benefit by herself. 524 00:21:22,233 --> 00:21:24,166 Well, she should be in the air by now. 525 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,183 There go the friendly skies. 526 00:21:27,416 --> 00:21:30,000 Gracie, don't decorate Father. 527 00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:31,216 It's all right. 528 00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,000 Let me go! 529 00:21:33,330 --> 00:21:34,450 It's Christmas Eve 530 00:21:34,483 --> 00:21:37,660 and I've got things to do! 531 00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:38,450 Don't you know who I am? 532 00:21:38,483 --> 00:21:41,283 Yes, we do, and we've been good all year. 533 00:21:41,316 --> 00:21:43,383 So why don't you be good and lie still 534 00:21:43,416 --> 00:21:46,100 till the medication kicks in? 535 00:21:46,133 --> 00:21:47,400 What happened to him? 536 00:21:47,433 --> 00:21:50,000 Some lady at the airport 537 00:21:50,330 --> 00:21:52,166 knocked him out with his own bell. 538 00:21:54,483 --> 00:21:57,830 And my ears are still ringing. 539 00:21:57,116 --> 00:21:58,450 Aw. 540 00:21:58,483 --> 00:22:02,250 Thank you, Santa, for all my Christmas presents. 541 00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:08,433 What are you thanking him for? 542 00:22:08,466 --> 00:22:11,330 Yeah. I thought you didn't believe in Santa Claus. 543 00:22:11,660 --> 00:22:12,333 Well, I do now, 544 00:22:12,366 --> 00:22:14,333 because my Christmas wish came true. 545 00:22:14,366 --> 00:22:16,116 What wish, sweetheart? 546 00:22:16,150 --> 00:22:19,150 That you'd be with us for Christmas. 547 00:22:19,183 --> 00:22:21,660 Funny... 548 00:22:21,100 --> 00:22:23,100 that was my wish too. 549 00:22:24,266 --> 00:22:26,283 Oh...isn't this a positive way 550 00:22:26,316 --> 00:22:28,233 to look at this disaster? 551 00:22:29,300 --> 00:22:30,483 [BELLS TOLLING] 552 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:32,366 Oh, listen. It's Christmas. 553 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,200 Oh! 554 00:22:34,233 --> 00:22:36,330 And we're all together. 555 00:22:36,660 --> 00:22:37,200 And we're happy. 556 00:22:37,233 --> 00:22:38,366 And we're healthy. 557 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,250 Well, most of us. 558 00:22:41,233 --> 00:22:42,300 Merry Christmas! 559 00:22:42,333 --> 00:22:44,200 [ALL OFFERING GREETINGS] 560 00:22:44,233 --> 00:22:47,660 Merry Christmas, Mr. Sheffield. 561 00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:48,416 Merry Christmas, Miss Fine. 562 00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:51,166 Say, maybe we should invite the old man. 563 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,483 No one should be alone on Christmas. 564 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,300 Hey, Santa, are you decent? 565 00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:58,216 Hmm, that's funny. 566 00:22:58,250 --> 00:22:59,450 [GRACIE GASPS] 567 00:22:59,483 --> 00:23:01,416 Where'd he go? 568 00:23:01,450 --> 00:23:03,166 [SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING] 569 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,330 Ho, ho, ho, ho! 570 00:23:07,266 --> 00:23:10,330 I gotta lie down. 571 00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:17,483 ♪♪ And a partridge In a pear tree ♪♪ 572 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:19,200 That's a weird song. 573 00:23:19,233 --> 00:23:21,250 I mean, five golden rings I can understand. 574 00:23:21,283 --> 00:23:23,200 Ten lords a-leaping, I am there. 575 00:23:23,233 --> 00:23:24,450 But what's with all the birds? 576 00:23:24,483 --> 00:23:26,416 I mean, French hens, turtle doves, 577 00:23:26,450 --> 00:23:29,830 uh, six geese a-laying. Who wants to see that? 578 00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:30,416 Miss Fine. 579 00:23:30,450 --> 00:23:32,660 Happy holidays! 580 00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:34,500 ALL: And thanks for watching!