1 00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:06,660 Good morning, everyone. 2 00:00:06,100 --> 00:00:08,333 Oh, Miss Fine, another stunning yet inappropriate 3 00:00:08,366 --> 00:00:10,416 breakfast ensemble. You like? 4 00:00:10,450 --> 00:00:13,266 They were having a big sale at Victoria's Secret. 5 00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:16,283 I bought some other stuff too, but that's my secret. 6 00:00:20,250 --> 00:00:21,416 Did you save the catalog? 7 00:00:21,450 --> 00:00:24,416 You can have it after I'm through. 8 00:00:24,450 --> 00:00:26,116 Niles. 9 00:00:26,150 --> 00:00:28,400 Well, Mother's Day is just around the corner. 10 00:00:28,433 --> 00:00:30,200 Uh-huh. 11 00:00:30,233 --> 00:00:32,100 Good morning, everyone. 12 00:00:33,330 --> 00:00:34,133 Miss Fine. 13 00:00:34,166 --> 00:00:36,450 What? It was buy one, get one free. 14 00:00:36,483 --> 00:00:38,166 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 15 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,330 Oh, that must be my return call from Osaka. 16 00:00:41,660 --> 00:00:43,300 No, it's Eddie. He's calling to kiss me good morning. 17 00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:46,150 Well, I've lost my appetite. 18 00:00:46,183 --> 00:00:48,466 Gee, you know, with all the overseas calls you make, 19 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,116 I hope you get free mileage with your long distance. 20 00:00:51,150 --> 00:00:53,500 How delightfully bourgeois. 21 00:00:53,830 --> 00:00:56,000 Bourgeois, with a freebie to Bermuda. 22 00:00:56,330 --> 00:00:57,500 Thank you, Niles. Thank you, Niles. 23 00:00:57,830 --> 00:00:58,466 Not so fast, it's for Miss Fine. 24 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,200 Miss Valerie Toriello. 25 00:01:00,233 --> 00:01:01,383 Val is on my business line? 26 00:01:01,416 --> 00:01:03,200 Well, it could be an emergency. 27 00:01:03,233 --> 00:01:05,150 Val, what's the matter? Who died? 28 00:01:05,183 --> 00:01:06,416 [GASPS] 29 00:01:06,450 --> 00:01:10,166 Danny, my ex, is taking Heather Biblo to Puerto Rico. 30 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,366 Miss Fine, nobody cares about your boyfriend's vacation. 31 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:15,483 Ex-boyfriend, sir. 32 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,316 And I care deeply. 33 00:01:17,350 --> 00:01:19,500 [PHONE BEEPS] 34 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,183 Oh, Val, I'm getting some beeps here. Wait a minute. 35 00:01:21,216 --> 00:01:23,500 Oh, that must be Osaka on the other line. Hang up. Hang up. 36 00:01:23,830 --> 00:01:25,166 Val, it's Japan calling for Mr. Sheffield. 37 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,383 I gotta hang up. 38 00:01:26,416 --> 00:01:28,450 -Whose water broke in Macy's? -Just, just-- 39 00:01:28,483 --> 00:01:30,500 Give me that. 40 00:01:30,830 --> 00:01:31,233 [SPEAKING JAPANESE] 41 00:01:31,266 --> 00:01:33,400 Val, would you please hang up? 42 00:01:33,433 --> 00:01:36,500 No, I don't get free mileage on my long distance. 43 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,133 [PHONE BEEPS] [SPEAKING JAPANESE] 44 00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:39,383 [SIGHS] Nothing. 45 00:01:39,416 --> 00:01:41,166 You must've lost them. Me? 46 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,400 Me? Yes, you. 47 00:01:42,433 --> 00:01:44,133 Couldn't be. Then who? 48 00:01:46,416 --> 00:01:48,483 Miss Fine, let's just make one simple rule, can we? 49 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,116 You keep your personal life out of my business. 50 00:01:51,150 --> 00:01:52,200 So, what you're saying is 51 00:01:52,233 --> 00:01:54,100 if you've got a business meeting, 52 00:01:54,133 --> 00:01:56,233 I should keep my personal feelings out of it 53 00:01:56,266 --> 00:01:58,500 and let you go out in that tie. 54 00:02:00,366 --> 00:02:01,483 Let's just review. 55 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,216 Business, personal. Business, personal. 56 00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:06,150 Let's have none of this. 57 00:02:06,183 --> 00:02:08,350 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have business to attend to. 58 00:02:11,183 --> 00:02:13,183 He's changing his tie. 59 00:02:18,233 --> 00:02:20,160 ♪♪ She was working In a bridal shop ♪♪ 60 00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:21,216 ♪♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪♪ 61 00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:22,400 ♪♪ Till her boyfriend Kicked her out ♪♪ 62 00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:24,250 ♪♪ In one Of those crushing scenes ♪♪ 63 00:02:24,283 --> 00:02:26,830 ♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪ 64 00:02:26,116 --> 00:02:29,216 ♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪ 65 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:30,366 ♪♪ So over the bridge From Flushing ♪♪ 66 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,250 ♪♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪♪ 67 00:02:32,283 --> 00:02:34,283 ♪♪ She was there to sell makeup But the father saw more ♪♪ 68 00:02:34,316 --> 00:02:36,300 ♪♪ She had style, she had flair She was there ♪♪ 69 00:02:36,333 --> 00:02:40,216 ♪♪ That's how she became The nanny ♪♪ 70 00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:43,166 ♪♪ Who would have guessed That the girl we described ♪♪ 71 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,183 ♪♪ Was just exactly What the doctor prescribed? ♪♪ 72 00:02:45,216 --> 00:02:46,433 ♪♪ Now the father Finds her beguiling ♪♪ 73 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,183 ♪♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪♪ 74 00:02:48,216 --> 00:02:49,350 ♪♪ And the kids Are actually smiling ♪♪ 75 00:02:49,383 --> 00:02:50,450 ♪♪ Such joie de vivre ♪♪ 76 00:02:50,483 --> 00:02:52,166 ♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪ 77 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:55,383 ♪♪ When everybody else Is wearing tan ♪♪ 78 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,383 ♪♪ The flashy girl From Flushing ♪♪ 79 00:02:58,416 --> 00:03:00,100 ♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪ 80 00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:04,333 Daddy, guess where we're going. 81 00:03:04,366 --> 00:03:06,316 Sweetheart, we're in the middle of work. 82 00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:08,283 Who taught you to barge in like that? 83 00:03:08,316 --> 00:03:10,283 Yoo-hoo, Mr. Sheffield. 84 00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:12,400 Ah, it's all coming back to me. 85 00:03:12,433 --> 00:03:14,283 Please, I'm on the phone. 86 00:03:14,316 --> 00:03:15,450 Well, I hope it's nothing personal, 87 00:03:15,483 --> 00:03:17,116 because he'll snap your head off. 88 00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:20,233 Did you want something? 89 00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:23,660 A, I like your tie, B, I need some money. 90 00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:24,416 I'm taking Gracie shopping. 91 00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:27,433 It's time I learned to coordinate my separates. 92 00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:33,216 She's growing up right before my eyes. 93 00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:35,830 Meanwhile, you're wearing one Mary Jane 94 00:03:35,116 --> 00:03:36,316 and one saddle shoe. 95 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,116 I dared to be different. 96 00:03:39,116 --> 00:03:41,830 Go change. 97 00:03:41,116 --> 00:03:45,830 Soon she'll be ready for the Home Shopping Network. 98 00:03:45,116 --> 00:03:46,383 So I'm off to go on duty. 99 00:03:46,416 --> 00:03:48,330 You need anything while I'm out? 100 00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:49,400 Yes, a leading man. 101 00:03:49,433 --> 00:03:50,483 Ah, who doesn't? Believe me, 102 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:52,216 if they sold them at Labels for Less, 103 00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:54,116 I'd have one on layaway already. 104 00:03:56,266 --> 00:03:58,266 Yes, I'll hold. 105 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:01,160 Nanny Fine, a synthetic fur. 106 00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:02,383 How very PC of you. 107 00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:04,160 What? 108 00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,300 PC, as in politically correct. 109 00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:10,330 Oh, well, actually, it's JC, as in Penney. 110 00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:14,400 Your outfit is nice too. 111 00:04:14,433 --> 00:04:16,216 Of course, dear. It's an Adolfo. 112 00:04:16,250 --> 00:04:18,116 As in Hitler? 113 00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:25,000 Yes, I'm still here. 114 00:04:25,330 --> 00:04:27,233 So he is interested. Splendid. 115 00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:29,500 Let me run it by Mr. Sheffield. 116 00:04:29,830 --> 00:04:32,183 Yes. Kiss-kiss. Love you.Ciao. 117 00:04:32,216 --> 00:04:35,000 What a phony. Well? 118 00:04:35,330 --> 00:04:38,166 You'll never guess who I've talked into starring in our new show, 119 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,133 pending a meeting with you, of course. 120 00:04:40,166 --> 00:04:41,433 Brock Storm. 121 00:04:41,466 --> 00:04:44,330 Brock Storm? Never heard of him. 122 00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:46,116 You never heard of Brock Storm? 123 00:04:46,150 --> 00:04:48,160 Yes, we've established that. 124 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:52,000 He plays Dr. River Shane onOne Day After Another. 125 00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:57,466 He's on the cover ofSoap Opera Digest. 126 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:01,660 I'll leave you my copy in your bathroom. 127 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:03,383 Maxwell, I'm telling you, Brock is big, 128 00:05:03,416 --> 00:05:05,216 and we need a box office draw. 129 00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:08,400 Star's Deli already names a sandwich after him: 130 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,116 The Brock-wurst. 131 00:05:11,216 --> 00:05:14,150 Oh, my God. I've eaten him. He is good. 132 00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:19,500 He is perfect. 133 00:05:19,830 --> 00:05:20,416 He's beyond perfect. 134 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:23,250 When Trista went into premature labor 135 00:05:23,283 --> 00:05:25,660 after the plane crash, 136 00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:30,250 despite his two broken arms, Brock delivered her baby. 137 00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:33,160 How? 138 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,350 With his teeth. 139 00:05:36,133 --> 00:05:37,266 I'm telling you, 140 00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:40,216 he is the most perfect man in the world. 141 00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:41,466 He's playing a part, Miss Fine. 142 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,160 It's an act, hence the term "actor." 143 00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:47,150 Oh, no. No one can act that good. 144 00:05:47,183 --> 00:05:49,400 He is truly sensitive. 145 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,330 When he cries, 146 00:05:51,660 --> 00:05:52,433 snot comes out of his nose. 147 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,416 Oh, the man is gifted. 148 00:06:00,266 --> 00:06:03,160 [SINGING RODGERS & HAMMERSTEIN'S "OKLAHOMA!"] 149 00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:06,333 ♪♪ You're doin' fine, Oklahoma ♪♪ 150 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:11,216 ♪♪ Oklahoma, O-K-H-L-O-M-- ♪♪ 151 00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:13,150 No, wait. 152 00:06:13,183 --> 00:06:15,466 Who needs to spell when you look like that? 153 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,466 ♪♪ Oklaho-ma! ♪♪ 154 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,330 Yo! 155 00:06:21,660 --> 00:06:23,200 Oh, that was marvelous. 156 00:06:23,233 --> 00:06:24,233 Bravo. 157 00:06:24,266 --> 00:06:27,100 And so very loud. 158 00:06:27,133 --> 00:06:29,400 You do know I'm meeting with other producers? 159 00:06:29,433 --> 00:06:31,233 Andy has invited me out to his place 160 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,183 in Southampton for the weekend. 161 00:06:33,216 --> 00:06:35,830 Andy Lloyd Webber? Uh-huh. 162 00:06:35,116 --> 00:06:37,283 And there's no spelling in his show. 163 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,233 Remember, Brock, 164 00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:41,500 there's only one maiden voyage 165 00:06:41,830 --> 00:06:43,316 to Broadway, so take the ride with a 166 00:06:43,350 --> 00:06:48,166 that can guarantee you the epitome of style, taste, and class. 167 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,500 I don't know what I ate for lunch. 168 00:06:50,830 --> 00:06:51,166 [HICCUPS] 169 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,830 Oh, yeah, quiche. 170 00:06:54,116 --> 00:06:56,330 Would you excuse me a minute? 171 00:06:56,660 --> 00:06:58,266 Miss Fine, we're still in the middle of our business meeting. 172 00:06:58,300 --> 00:07:00,100 Oh, is that today? 173 00:07:00,133 --> 00:07:01,383 Oh, gee, if I would've known, 174 00:07:01,416 --> 00:07:03,660 I would have dressed. 175 00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:06,283 Come on, kids. Come on over. 176 00:07:06,316 --> 00:07:08,200 Your father has someone he wants you to meet. 177 00:07:08,233 --> 00:07:09,316 Uh, Brock, 178 00:07:09,350 --> 00:07:11,830 these are my children, 179 00:07:11,116 --> 00:07:12,133 Brighton, Grace, and Maggie. Hello. 180 00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,466 Hello. Hello. Hello. 181 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,183 [GIGGLES] 182 00:07:16,216 --> 00:07:18,216 We never should have let her out of the attic. 183 00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:23,250 And this must be your gorgeous wife. 184 00:07:23,283 --> 00:07:27,500 No, this is my less-than-subtle nanny, Miss Fine. 185 00:07:27,830 --> 00:07:29,350 Fran to you, ormon amour. 186 00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:30,433 Whichever. 187 00:07:30,466 --> 00:07:33,366 Darling, je vous aime beaucoup. 188 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,216 Frèère Jacques, dormez-vous? 189 00:07:38,466 --> 00:07:40,283 Miss Fine... 190 00:07:40,316 --> 00:07:41,350 A moment. 191 00:07:41,383 --> 00:07:42,450 [WHISPERING] 192 00:07:42,483 --> 00:07:44,660 Yes? 193 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:45,300 Get out, or I'll hurt you. 194 00:07:46,316 --> 00:07:47,416 Ah. 195 00:07:47,450 --> 00:07:49,660 Well, if you'll excuse me-- 196 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,433 Oh, just one last thing. 197 00:07:50,466 --> 00:07:54,233 All the while that you were selflessly raising your son Eric 198 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:56,350 while his mother Cherie was gallivanting 199 00:07:56,383 --> 00:07:58,300 all over Spring Valley, 200 00:07:58,333 --> 00:08:01,433 did you know that he wasn't your biological child? 201 00:08:01,466 --> 00:08:03,133 Yes, I've always known. 202 00:08:03,166 --> 00:08:07,216 You are a god...and a doctor. 203 00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:09,150 I gotta lie down. 204 00:08:10,450 --> 00:08:12,150 I do apologize, 205 00:08:12,183 --> 00:08:13,383 but I'm sure you must get that-- 206 00:08:13,416 --> 00:08:14,483 [GIRLS SCREAM] 207 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,233 Sort of thing all the time. 208 00:08:16,266 --> 00:08:18,266 Yeah. Cool, huh? 209 00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:20,366 So shall I call your agent? 210 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,166 Sure. 211 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:25,300 I'll need top billing, big letters, 212 00:08:25,333 --> 00:08:27,316 more money than anyone else... 213 00:08:27,350 --> 00:08:28,466 Oh, yeah... 214 00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:31,660 And the nanny. 215 00:08:32,350 --> 00:08:33,433 [SCOFFS] 216 00:08:33,466 --> 00:08:36,660 Can you believe he wants my nanny? 217 00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:38,350 Why doesn't he get someone else to take care of his children? 218 00:08:40,466 --> 00:08:43,400 Maxwell, he doesn't have any children. 219 00:08:43,433 --> 00:08:45,433 Then what does he want with my na--? 220 00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:50,830 Oh. 221 00:08:57,316 --> 00:08:59,660 God, this is boring. 222 00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:01,416 Brock hasn't even moved since the last commercial. 223 00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:04,660 Shh. That's because he's in a coma. 224 00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:06,200 Look, he's gonna drool again. 225 00:09:06,233 --> 00:09:09,133 The man is a master of bodily fluids. 226 00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:12,250 But nothing's happening. 227 00:09:12,283 --> 00:09:14,300 That's because you don't know how to watch. 228 00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:18,000 See how nurse Judy is clutching the IV pole? 229 00:09:18,330 --> 00:09:19,166 So she's dizzy. 230 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:22,333 So she's pregnant, and Brock's the father. 231 00:09:22,366 --> 00:09:25,116 But I thought he was in a coma. 232 00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:26,383 Plus he's had a vasectomy. 233 00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:30,000 Is that man virile or what? 234 00:09:31,166 --> 00:09:33,100 What's a vasectomy? 235 00:09:33,133 --> 00:09:35,100 Uh, it's elective surgery, honey. 236 00:09:35,133 --> 00:09:37,150 Like when C.C. went to Switzerland 237 00:09:37,183 --> 00:09:38,466 and came back without her thighs. 238 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:45,830 Did C.C. have a vasectomy? 239 00:09:45,116 --> 00:09:47,100 Uh, no. No, honey. 240 00:09:47,133 --> 00:09:49,266 I hear she's given a few. 241 00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:52,830 MAXWELL: Niles! 242 00:09:52,116 --> 00:09:53,200 As if I have nothing better to do 243 00:09:53,233 --> 00:09:55,433 than be at his beck and call. 244 00:09:55,466 --> 00:09:57,416 As if we were his servants. 245 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,330 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 246 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,250 No, no, no. I will not. 247 00:10:05,283 --> 00:10:08,100 I cannot make Miss Fine part of this deal. 248 00:10:08,133 --> 00:10:09,183 Oh, Maxwell, grow up. 249 00:10:09,216 --> 00:10:12,133 It's unconscionable. It's morally bankrupt. 250 00:10:12,166 --> 00:10:13,350 It's show biz. 251 00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:17,116 What took you so long? 252 00:10:18,830 --> 00:10:19,350 I fell, sir... 253 00:10:23,450 --> 00:10:27,216 But I think I'm all right now. I'll walk it off. 254 00:10:34,330 --> 00:10:37,466 Maxwell, darling, I'm begging you. 255 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,000 We just have to do it. 256 00:10:42,330 --> 00:10:44,433 Well, I find the whole idea repulsive. 257 00:10:48,830 --> 00:10:50,500 Way to play hard to get, sir. 258 00:10:51,416 --> 00:10:54,100 Niles, get your mind out of the gutter. 259 00:10:54,133 --> 00:10:56,000 Vacating the gutter, sir. 260 00:10:56,316 --> 00:10:58,466 We're talking about Brock Storm. 261 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,483 He'll only do the show if I set him up with Miss Fine. 262 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,316 Well, it's not like she won't be thrilled with the prospect. 263 00:11:04,350 --> 00:11:08,330 She glommed onto him like a refrigerator magnet. 264 00:11:08,660 --> 00:11:10,300 Yes, well, that's true enough. 265 00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:12,316 She was rather taken with him. 266 00:11:12,350 --> 00:11:15,330 So actually you'll be doing her a favor 267 00:11:15,660 --> 00:11:17,216 as opposed to, say, pimping her. 268 00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:20,450 Thank you, Niles. 269 00:11:20,483 --> 00:11:23,500 Always there for you, sir. 270 00:11:24,116 --> 00:11:26,160 Oh. Ooh. 271 00:11:28,416 --> 00:11:30,660 [HOSPITAL SHOW PLAYS ON TELEVISION] 272 00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:32,450 Oh, I can't believe how cute all the men are. 273 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:35,216 Cute, but so dysfunctional. 274 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,383 A lethal combination, ladies. 275 00:11:38,416 --> 00:11:41,466 Miss Fine, Mr. Sheffield would like to speak with you in his office. 276 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,383 [WHINING] Oh, what did I do? 277 00:11:43,416 --> 00:11:46,366 If he asks you anything about my fall, 278 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:47,433 just play along. 279 00:11:49,316 --> 00:11:52,300 All right, I'll do it, but I won't like it. 280 00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:54,466 Where have I heard that before? 281 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,483 Ah, Miss Fine, do come in. 282 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,150 I'm sorry, but who knew nail polish remover 283 00:12:00,183 --> 00:12:02,116 would eat off the finish? 284 00:12:02,150 --> 00:12:05,100 What finish? Nothing. 285 00:12:06,330 --> 00:12:07,183 Miss Fine! 286 00:12:07,216 --> 00:12:09,400 Oh, Maxwell, lighten up. 287 00:12:09,433 --> 00:12:12,266 Sit down, Miss Fine... Fran. 288 00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:15,330 Franela. 289 00:12:16,366 --> 00:12:18,366 Oh, now I'm really scared. 290 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:22,283 What would you say if I arranged dinner this evening 291 00:12:22,316 --> 00:12:24,466 for you and Brock Storm? 292 00:12:25,433 --> 00:12:28,266 Wait, is this a hypothetical question, or are we wasting time 293 00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:31,830 when I should be putting the electric rollers in my hair? 294 00:12:31,116 --> 00:12:32,416 Roll away, Miss Fine. 295 00:12:32,450 --> 00:12:34,160 Oh, my God! 296 00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:35,283 A date with Brock Storm. 297 00:12:35,316 --> 00:12:37,483 I can't believe you would do this for me! 298 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,316 Oh, well, you know... 299 00:12:39,350 --> 00:12:41,300 It's our pleasure. 300 00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:43,830 We just want you to have a good time, 301 00:12:43,116 --> 00:12:46,500 a very good time. Not that good a time. 302 00:12:46,830 --> 00:12:47,283 We want her to have a good time. 303 00:12:47,316 --> 00:12:49,150 Have as good a time as you want, and no more. 304 00:12:49,183 --> 00:12:51,200 Well, I'll just play it by ear. 305 00:12:51,233 --> 00:12:53,300 Oh, thank you, Mr. Sheffield. 306 00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:55,330 Oh, thank you, Miss Babcock. 307 00:12:56,266 --> 00:12:58,000 Ooh, that was close. 308 00:12:59,450 --> 00:13:02,150 See, that wasn't so bad, was it? 309 00:13:02,183 --> 00:13:04,133 Knock, knock. It's Franela. 310 00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:06,100 We missed you. 311 00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:10,300 Uh, would Brock, by any chance, have the hots for me, 312 00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:12,233 and it would be better for you and your show 313 00:13:12,266 --> 00:13:13,366 if I went out with him? 314 00:13:14,433 --> 00:13:17,216 Miss Fine, how could you imply-- 315 00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:20,660 Shut up, C.C. Yes, yes. It's true! 316 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,283 We're sacrificing you to Brock 317 00:13:21,316 --> 00:13:23,416 to close our filthy business deal. 318 00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:26,116 All right. 319 00:13:29,216 --> 00:13:31,183 Uh-oh. 320 00:13:31,216 --> 00:13:32,416 What? What? 321 00:13:32,450 --> 00:13:34,216 A date with Brock. 322 00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:39,250 Now, wouldn't that be mixing business with personal? 323 00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:42,333 You know. 324 00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:47,450 Maxwell, what is this, 325 00:13:47,483 --> 00:13:50,500 and why are you doing it with her? 326 00:13:51,283 --> 00:13:54,183 It's just some silly rule I made. 327 00:13:54,216 --> 00:13:56,166 What say we forget that rule? 328 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,266 Oh, no. Rules are rules. 329 00:13:58,300 --> 00:13:59,450 Rules are made to be broken. 330 00:13:59,483 --> 00:14:02,183 Mmm...I don't know. 331 00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:04,200 Forget the rules. I hate the rules. 332 00:14:04,233 --> 00:14:05,333 New rule: No rules! 333 00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:07,383 I want you to mix business with personal. 334 00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:09,416 I want you to call Val on my business line, 335 00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:11,200 invite her over, have a party. 336 00:14:11,233 --> 00:14:15,000 Here, take my credit card. Redecorate the house! 337 00:14:17,150 --> 00:14:18,316 All right. 338 00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:23,150 Maxwell, if you don't mind, 339 00:14:23,183 --> 00:14:25,000 I think I'll handle the negotiations 340 00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:26,316 with Brock's agent. 341 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:38,366 Oh, honey... 342 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:43,383 the secret to putting on blush is less is more. 343 00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:44,466 [GIGGLES] 344 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,483 The exact opposite of hairspray. 345 00:14:49,166 --> 00:14:50,183 Oh, isn't it amazing 346 00:14:50,216 --> 00:14:52,450 how our lives are completely the same? 347 00:14:52,483 --> 00:14:56,330 I mean, you're going out with the hottest soap star, 348 00:14:56,660 --> 00:14:57,350 and I'm dating Eddie. 349 00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:01,233 It's scary. 350 00:15:01,266 --> 00:15:02,366 Meanwhile, where's my lipstick? 351 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,660 How do I look? 352 00:15:05,660 --> 00:15:08,830 Like my Aunt Shirley before her cataract surgery. 353 00:15:09,416 --> 00:15:11,166 Here, sweetie. 354 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:12,400 Fran, can I borrow some perfume? 355 00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:15,233 Oh, sure, help yourself. 356 00:15:15,266 --> 00:15:18,266 Nope, that's my scent. You take the Charlie. 357 00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:23,116 A few drops strategically placed on the pulse points. 358 00:15:23,150 --> 00:15:27,350 Here...here... and one right between the... 359 00:15:27,383 --> 00:15:29,830 eyes. 360 00:15:29,116 --> 00:15:30,250 The eyes? 361 00:15:30,283 --> 00:15:33,266 Yes, the brain is the sexiest organ. 362 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,250 Right, Val? Where's Val? 363 00:15:35,283 --> 00:15:37,483 Oh, what a walk-in. 364 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,200 If it had a bathroom, you could sublet. 365 00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:43,830 Did you smell the padded potpourri hangers? 366 00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:45,233 Please, I had to take an antihistamine. 367 00:15:45,266 --> 00:15:46,283 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 368 00:15:46,316 --> 00:15:48,400 Oh, come in. 369 00:15:48,433 --> 00:15:50,383 Miss Fine, Mr. Storm's blown in. 370 00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:51,416 VAL: Oh, my God! 371 00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,830 I can't believe my best friend's 372 00:15:53,116 --> 00:15:55,000 going out with Brock Storm! 373 00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:56,283 [SCREAMS] 374 00:15:56,316 --> 00:15:58,416 Okay, everyone, let's just calm down. 375 00:15:58,450 --> 00:16:03,000 He's just a person. It's just like any other date. 376 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:04,183 Now I'm gonna go down, 377 00:16:04,216 --> 00:16:06,266 and I'm gonna say hello to Mr. Brock Storm. 378 00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:08,233 That's all. 379 00:16:10,450 --> 00:16:12,466 Don't start with me, Niles. 380 00:16:15,383 --> 00:16:17,300 So Brock... 381 00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:19,200 Now that you're in a coma on the show, 382 00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:21,100 aren't you afraid of being killed off? 383 00:16:21,133 --> 00:16:23,433 I'll recover the minute we settle my contract. 384 00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:25,133 Uh-huh. 385 00:16:26,316 --> 00:16:28,133 Why? What've you heard? 386 00:16:30,216 --> 00:16:32,350 Ah, Brock, I just got off the phone with your agent, 387 00:16:32,383 --> 00:16:34,166 and I think we'll be able to strike a deal. 388 00:16:36,133 --> 00:16:37,283 Fabulous! 389 00:16:37,316 --> 00:16:39,133 Yes, well, the art of negotiation's 390 00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:40,333 all a matter of-- 391 00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,433 Oh, I'll tell you later. 392 00:16:42,466 --> 00:16:44,383 Hi, Brock. 393 00:16:44,416 --> 00:16:47,333 Darling, you look spectacular. 394 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,116 Which makes me look even better. 395 00:16:50,150 --> 00:16:51,433 [BOTH LAUGH] 396 00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:54,366 Brock, I want you to meet 397 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:57,200 my best friend, Valerie Toriello. 398 00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:59,150 Go ahead, Val. Embarrass me. 399 00:16:59,183 --> 00:17:02,300 Oh, Mr. Storm, it's such a thrill to shake your hand. 400 00:17:04,216 --> 00:17:06,383 Was it as good for you as it was for me? 401 00:17:08,266 --> 00:17:10,500 Two seconds. That's a record. 402 00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:11,183 [GIGGLES] 403 00:17:11,216 --> 00:17:13,100 Well, I hope I dressed okay, Brock. 404 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,266 I didn't know what we were doing. 405 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:18,200 Anything you want, mon amour... 406 00:17:18,233 --> 00:17:19,366 mon amour. 407 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,333 [GASPS] Take a picture. Take a picture. 408 00:17:24,216 --> 00:17:25,283 Is it just me, 409 00:17:25,316 --> 00:17:27,150 or is he the phoniest human being on earth? 410 00:17:27,183 --> 00:17:29,250 Would that be counting Miss Babcock? 411 00:17:32,266 --> 00:17:33,400 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, 412 00:17:33,433 --> 00:17:35,116 this is the most exciting night 413 00:17:35,150 --> 00:17:37,300 of my life, and I owe it all to you. 414 00:17:37,333 --> 00:17:40,100 Oh, you don't owe me anything. 415 00:17:40,133 --> 00:17:41,416 You don't owe him anything either. 416 00:17:41,450 --> 00:17:43,383 Nothing is owed. 417 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,233 Don't wait up. 418 00:17:52,830 --> 00:17:54,830 Is everything all right, sir? 419 00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:55,283 Hmm? Oh, of course. 420 00:17:55,316 --> 00:17:57,500 She seems fine with the arrangement. 421 00:17:57,830 --> 00:17:59,250 Indeed, she was floating on air. 422 00:17:59,283 --> 00:18:01,166 Hot air, I might add. 423 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:05,183 Sir, are you worried that she'll have a bad time or a good one? 424 00:18:05,216 --> 00:18:08,166 You know, Niles, you're starting to get on my nerves. 425 00:18:09,416 --> 00:18:11,383 All in a day's work, sir. 426 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,830 That was a delicious meal, wasn't it? 427 00:18:27,116 --> 00:18:29,283 Who knew happy hour could be so filling? 428 00:18:31,330 --> 00:18:33,283 Do you think my hair looks better 429 00:18:33,316 --> 00:18:36,000 parted on the right or the left? 430 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:40,133 Well, let's see. You had it parted on the left 431 00:18:40,166 --> 00:18:42,330 for the nachos, 432 00:18:42,660 --> 00:18:44,433 and then you switched it for the buffalo wings, am I right? 433 00:18:44,466 --> 00:18:46,183 Uh-huh. 434 00:18:47,183 --> 00:18:48,216 Why don't you split the diff 435 00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:50,183 and part it down the middle? 436 00:18:53,330 --> 00:18:56,160 Uh, Caleeb, there's my mansion now. 437 00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:58,330 Why don't you just drop me off at the corner. 438 00:18:58,660 --> 00:19:00,233 Driver, keep driving. What's your rush? 439 00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:02,250 It's a school night. 440 00:19:02,283 --> 00:19:04,183 But it's the shank of the evening, 441 00:19:05,233 --> 00:19:08,366 and your eyes beckon me to the shore, 442 00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:12,133 where I will crash upon your lips. 443 00:19:13,350 --> 00:19:15,466 You said the same thing to nurse Judy, 444 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,233 and now she's hanging on an IV pole. 445 00:19:20,216 --> 00:19:23,133 Well, it's time for some intensive care... 446 00:19:25,266 --> 00:19:28,500 And the doctor is in. 447 00:19:29,166 --> 00:19:30,216 That's it! 448 00:19:30,250 --> 00:19:31,366 You know, I have a good mind 449 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,183 to report you toSoap Opera Digest. 450 00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:37,660 You are nothing like Dr. River Shane. 451 00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:41,266 No, but I'm exactly like his evil twin. 452 00:19:56,416 --> 00:19:58,283 Oh, Mr. Sheffield. 453 00:19:58,316 --> 00:19:59,483 Huh? 454 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,350 What are you doing down here? 455 00:20:02,383 --> 00:20:04,216 Were you waiting up for me? 456 00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:08,366 Of course not. I was just reading a book... that's here somewhere. 457 00:20:09,316 --> 00:20:10,433 Is she home yet? 458 00:20:10,466 --> 00:20:12,660 Go back to sleep. 459 00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:17,830 So how was your evening with Brock? 460 00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:19,433 Oh, don't ask. 461 00:20:19,466 --> 00:20:23,366 That guy was only interested in one thing. 462 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,133 Hello, my father was finally right. 463 00:20:30,350 --> 00:20:32,350 I feel like such a loser. 464 00:20:32,383 --> 00:20:35,233 You can't blame yourself. The man's a cad. 465 00:20:35,266 --> 00:20:36,483 I'd like to wring his-- 466 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:38,330 [MUFFLED] Peanuts? 467 00:20:38,660 --> 00:20:39,433 He took advantage of your naiveté 468 00:20:39,466 --> 00:20:41,450 and complete lack of sophistication. 469 00:20:41,483 --> 00:20:43,450 Don't forget incredible stupidity. 470 00:20:43,483 --> 00:20:45,116 Right. 471 00:20:46,316 --> 00:20:47,400 Ugh, what am I doing here? 472 00:20:47,433 --> 00:20:49,660 Take this away from me. 473 00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:51,350 This could easily turn into a 10-pound binge. 474 00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:54,166 I hold myself completely responsible. 475 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:57,133 I let my own self-interest compromise your virtue. 476 00:20:58,116 --> 00:21:00,830 Oh, are you adorable. 477 00:21:01,100 --> 00:21:03,333 Oh, now, Miss Fine, let's not misconstrue. 478 00:21:03,366 --> 00:21:06,250 I mean, we don't want to mix business with personal. 479 00:21:06,283 --> 00:21:10,160 Oh, you're not starting on that jag again, are you? 480 00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:13,660 We're living together, sort of. 481 00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:15,283 Some of this is bound to happen. 482 00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:17,250 Yeah, I suppose. 483 00:21:17,283 --> 00:21:18,450 You know, it's the strangest thing, 484 00:21:18,483 --> 00:21:20,316 but when you went out that door with him this evening, 485 00:21:20,350 --> 00:21:22,300 I thought if something terrible were to happen, 486 00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:25,183 I would actually care. 487 00:21:26,383 --> 00:21:28,233 Don't gush. 488 00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:34,183 Look at us... 489 00:21:34,216 --> 00:21:35,233 A couple of nut eaters. 490 00:21:35,266 --> 00:21:36,333 [CHUCKLES] 491 00:21:38,216 --> 00:21:40,500 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, 492 00:21:40,830 --> 00:21:42,283 I hope I didn't screw up your play. 493 00:21:42,316 --> 00:21:44,450 Oh, frankly, after the way Brock treated you this evening, 494 00:21:44,483 --> 00:21:46,466 I'm not sure I'd care to work with him anyway. 495 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,416 Oh, too bad, too, 496 00:21:48,450 --> 00:21:52,283 because now he could really hit those high notes. 497 00:21:56,166 --> 00:21:58,266 Good night, Mr. Sheffield. 498 00:21:58,300 --> 00:22:00,330 Does that mean she kicked him in the--? 499 00:22:00,660 --> 00:22:01,333 Good night, Brighton. 500 00:22:03,466 --> 00:22:05,416 [♪♪♪] 501 00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:17,366 Doesshmegegi two G's or three? 502 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,283 That's not a word. 503 00:22:19,316 --> 00:22:21,660 You never heard ofshmegegi? 504 00:22:21,100 --> 00:22:23,660 Oy, you've never met my cousin Ira. 505 00:22:23,433 --> 00:22:26,266 Now, let's see, the double word score makes 30, 506 00:22:26,300 --> 00:22:29,316 and the S turns moron into morons. 507 00:22:29,350 --> 00:22:31,000 Carry the nor-- 508 00:22:31,330 --> 00:22:33,330 57 points. Where's the bag? 509 00:22:33,660 --> 00:22:34,416 MAXWELL: No, absolutely not. 510 00:22:34,450 --> 00:22:36,400 I don't want another soap star. 511 00:22:36,433 --> 00:22:38,150 They might be big box office, 512 00:22:38,183 --> 00:22:39,416 but there must be another way to go. 513 00:22:39,450 --> 00:22:42,000 If you hear some beeps, I'm expecting a call from Val. 514 00:22:42,330 --> 00:22:43,266 This is Val. 515 00:22:44,466 --> 00:22:46,183 Fran, I'm stuck. What do I do next? 516 00:22:46,216 --> 00:22:48,500 Let me see... 517 00:22:48,830 --> 00:22:51,483 Gently push the ponytailer through the back of the pony 518 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,183 to create a hairdo that will epitomize fantasy 519 00:22:54,216 --> 00:22:56,100 and femininity. Ow! 520 00:22:56,133 --> 00:22:59,133 Shh! Please, I'm trying to watchOne Day After Another. 521 00:22:59,166 --> 00:23:02,660 Oh, look, they've replaced Brock Storm. 522 00:23:02,100 --> 00:23:03,283 I wonder what happened. 523 00:23:03,316 --> 00:23:05,333 How do you spell "eunuch"? 524 00:23:08,266 --> 00:23:10,300 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING]