1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,350
Well, tomorrow's opening night,
and we are completely sold out!
2
00:00:05,383 --> 00:00:08,333
Thank God
Miss Fine has a large family.
3
00:00:08,366 --> 00:00:11,150
Now all we need
is some good reviews
4
00:00:11,183 --> 00:00:14,133
and I think we might just have
another hit on our hands.
5
00:00:14,166 --> 00:00:16,383
Well, I have sent gift
baskets
to every critic in town.
6
00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:19,133
Are you telling me
you're bribing the critics?
7
00:00:19,166 --> 00:00:21,300
Trying to buy us
a good review?
8
00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:23,166
Good thinking.
9
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:24,383
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
10
00:00:24,416 --> 00:00:27,266
my entire family
is so excited
11
00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:29,166
about being invited
to opening night.
12
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,183
They want 12 chicken dinners,
two prime ribs
13
00:00:32,216 --> 00:00:35,183
and two kosher meals,
if it's not too much trouble.
14
00:00:35,216 --> 00:00:38,330
Nanny Fine,
this is not dinner
theater.
15
00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:39,350
No food?
16
00:00:39,383 --> 00:00:41,160
Oy! Big mistake.
17
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:42,433
If you feed them,
they will come.
18
00:00:44,183 --> 00:00:46,433
Well, if your relatives
won't come without a
feedbag,
19
00:00:46,466 --> 00:00:48,250
I'll be happy
to give their money back
20
00:00:48,283 --> 00:00:50,000
and sell their
tickets
on the street.
21
00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:52,100
I'll drop you off
at your usual
corner.
22
00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:58,150
Miss Fine, I can assure you,
23
00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,116
your relatives
are gonna love the play.
24
00:01:00,150 --> 00:01:03,100
It's a brilliant post-modern
exploration of despair.
25
00:01:03,133 --> 00:01:05,000
No food and despair?
26
00:01:05,330 --> 00:01:07,116
Jeez, it sounds like
my Weight Watchers meeting.
27
00:01:12,166 --> 00:01:14,160
♪♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪♪
28
00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:15,166
♪♪ In Flushing, Queens
29
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,366
♪♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out
30
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,150
♪♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪♪
31
00:01:18,183 --> 00:01:20,660
♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪
32
00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:23,830
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
33
00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:24,400
♪♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪♪
34
00:01:24,433 --> 00:01:26,316
♪♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪♪
35
00:01:26,350 --> 00:01:28,333
♪♪ She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more ♪♪
36
00:01:28,366 --> 00:01:30,366
♪♪ She had style, she had flair
She was there ♪♪
37
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:34,183
♪♪ That's how she became
The nanny ♪♪
38
00:01:34,216 --> 00:01:37,233
♪♪ Who would've guessed
That the girl we've described ♪♪
39
00:01:37,266 --> 00:01:39,183
♪♪ Was just exactly what
The doctor prescribed? ♪♪
40
00:01:39,216 --> 00:01:41,160
♪♪ Now the father
Finds her beguiling ♪♪
41
00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:42,283
♪♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪♪
42
00:01:42,316 --> 00:01:43,433
♪♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪♪
43
00:01:43,466 --> 00:01:45,000
♪♪ Such joie de vivre ♪♪
44
00:01:45,330 --> 00:01:46,216
♪♪ She is the lady in red ♪♪
45
00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:50,300
♪♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪♪
46
00:01:50,333 --> 00:01:52,433
♪♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪♪
47
00:01:52,466 --> 00:01:54,450
♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪
48
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:58,330
Niles,
what's all this?
49
00:01:58,660 --> 00:01:59,383
I knew you and Miss
Grace
were going to the park.
50
00:01:59,416 --> 00:02:01,183
You might like
to take a picnic.
51
00:02:01,216 --> 00:02:03,166
Oh, you doll, you!
52
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,330
The refrigerator's broken,
53
00:02:05,660 --> 00:02:07,830
and if we don't eat
it,
it's garbage.
54
00:02:08,216 --> 00:02:09,383
Tattle-tale.
55
00:02:09,416 --> 00:02:12,160
Well, it sure beats
hanging out on the fire escape
56
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,100
with a can
of franks and beans.
57
00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:16,433
You had your picnics
on the fire escape?
58
00:02:16,466 --> 00:02:19,250
Hey, with that menu,
we were better off outside.
59
00:02:21,166 --> 00:02:23,000
Niles,
my little Chester's
hungry.
60
00:02:23,330 --> 00:02:24,283
Make him something.
61
00:02:24,316 --> 00:02:26,300
Poof!
You're a Doberman-- attack.
62
00:02:26,333 --> 00:02:28,383
Oh, Chester!
63
00:02:28,416 --> 00:02:31,266
I haven't seen you
in such a long time.
64
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:34,160
Nanny Fine, please,
he doesn't like
strangers.
65
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:35,400
Oh!
66
00:02:35,433 --> 00:02:37,216
Hi!
67
00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:39,483
C.C., how come
your dog hates you?
68
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,350
Well, after
all,
he is a male.
69
00:02:43,483 --> 00:02:45,300
Not for long.
70
00:02:47,366 --> 00:02:49,366
She must get
a group rate.
71
00:02:51,133 --> 00:02:53,133
Niles, what's this basket
doing here?
72
00:02:53,166 --> 00:02:55,000
It was supposed to go
to Frank Bradley, the critic.
73
00:02:55,330 --> 00:02:56,830
It did.
74
00:02:56,116 --> 00:02:57,333
He sent it back
with a snide note
75
00:02:57,366 --> 00:02:59,330
saying that
he couldn't be bought
76
00:02:59,660 --> 00:03:00,300
and if he could,
77
00:03:00,333 --> 00:03:03,300
he'd cost more than
a tin of smoked oysters.
78
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:06,266
There has got to be some way
to get to Frank Bradley.
79
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:07,466
I know
a Frank Bradley.
80
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,660
He's in
my arts and crafts class.
81
00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:11,300
Maybe that's his son.
82
00:03:11,333 --> 00:03:14,100
He said my ashtray
was "derivative."
83
00:03:14,133 --> 00:03:15,483
That's him.
84
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:19,433
Oh, I was the queen
of arts and crafts.
85
00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:22,333
Then one day I left
my favorite brush in the
shellac
86
00:03:22,366 --> 00:03:24,116
and it hardened
overnight.
87
00:03:24,150 --> 00:03:25,483
I just
walked away,
88
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,116
never looked back.
89
00:03:28,150 --> 00:03:31,333
I have
a fun idea.
90
00:03:31,366 --> 00:03:34,116
Why don't we call up
Frank Jr.
91
00:03:34,150 --> 00:03:36,250
and invite him to go
to the park with you?
92
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:38,283
Because I hate
him.
He's a big bully.
93
00:03:38,316 --> 00:03:41,500
He's always teasing me
and calling me names.
94
00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:42,466
Oh, you know
what they say:
95
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,300
Sticks and stones
can break my bones,
96
00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:47,150
but bad reviews
can kill you.
97
00:03:47,183 --> 00:03:49,500
Miss Babcock,
she doesn't like the
kid.
98
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,830
You want her to play
with someone she doesn't
like?
99
00:03:51,116 --> 00:03:53,100
If I had to like
every one of my friends,
100
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,660
I wouldn't have any.
101
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,100
I'll flip
you
for it.
102
00:04:00,133 --> 00:04:01,383
Grace, dear,
103
00:04:01,416 --> 00:04:04,400
Frank's father is going to
review our play on television,
104
00:04:04,433 --> 00:04:07,483
and he can either make it
a big hit or a big flop.
105
00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:11,400
She doesn't play
well
under pressure.
106
00:04:11,433 --> 00:04:13,333
I'm shutting down.
107
00:04:13,366 --> 00:04:16,000
All right,
I'll do it myself.
108
00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:17,350
You must have
that kid's number somewhere.
109
00:04:17,383 --> 00:04:19,330
Where's all that school junk
110
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:20,300
you're always
bothering Maxwell with?
111
00:04:20,333 --> 00:04:24,660
Would it be on
the, uh, Pitah phone list?
112
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:27,500
That's PTA,
Mother Hubbard.
113
00:04:27,830 --> 00:04:29,500
Ah!
Here it is.
114
00:04:29,830 --> 00:04:31,383
"Pitah"! Ha ha!
115
00:04:34,366 --> 00:04:36,483
Hello.
Is this Mr. Bradley?
116
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:38,216
We haven't met,
117
00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:40,450
but your little Frank is
in the same class as my Gracie.
118
00:04:40,483 --> 00:04:43,416
I'm not
hers.
Am I?
119
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,200
No, angel.
120
00:04:45,233 --> 00:04:47,100
You don't shed
your skin.
121
00:04:50,660 --> 00:04:51,450
It is such
a beautiful day
122
00:04:51,483 --> 00:04:53,183
and we were wondering
123
00:04:53,216 --> 00:04:55,416
if little Frank would like to go
to the park with Grace.
124
00:04:55,450 --> 00:04:57,133
Marvelous!
125
00:04:57,166 --> 00:05:00,300
You know, there is
a brilliant theater critic
126
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,433
by the name of
Frank Bradley.
127
00:05:02,466 --> 00:05:04,300
You are?
128
00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:06,450
Oh, can that woman
ever suck up!
129
00:05:06,483 --> 00:05:08,316
Hmm.
130
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:12,000
If she came with attachments,
we could throw out the Hoover.
131
00:05:14,383 --> 00:05:16,450
Come on, Gracie.
Move it along.
132
00:05:18,116 --> 00:05:19,400
Freeze! There's
been
a change of plans.
133
00:05:19,433 --> 00:05:21,400
You're taking Frank
Bradley Jr. to the
park.
134
00:05:21,433 --> 00:05:24,100
Forget it! We're going
to the park by ourselves.
135
00:05:24,133 --> 00:05:25,333
I forbid it.
136
00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:29,233
Forbid? Is that the F word
I hear?
137
00:05:31,116 --> 00:05:33,160
That's the F word?
138
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,433
What's the big deal?
139
00:05:35,483 --> 00:05:37,333
Who's the nanny here
anyway?
140
00:05:37,366 --> 00:05:39,183
I was there
when this child was born.
141
00:05:39,216 --> 00:05:40,233
Where were you?
142
00:05:40,266 --> 00:05:42,500
In high school.
143
00:05:43,283 --> 00:05:45,830
Ladies, ladies.
144
00:05:45,116 --> 00:05:47,366
Isn't there a more grown-up way
to settle your differences?
145
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,133
I'm thinking
mud wrestling.
146
00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:54,160
Actually, there is
a more grown-up way.
147
00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:55,433
I'm telling
Maxwell
on you.
148
00:05:55,466 --> 00:05:58,160
Not if I get there
first.
149
00:06:02,116 --> 00:06:03,383
Brighton, block her!
150
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:12,100
Well, of course, we'd love
to have Mayor Guiliani there
151
00:06:12,133 --> 00:06:13,350
opening night.
152
00:06:13,383 --> 00:06:16,283
But please ask him
to leave his son at home.
153
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:23,233
All right, Thigh Master!
154
00:06:23,266 --> 00:06:26,300
Oh, Mr. Sheffield...would please
explain to Miss Babcock
155
00:06:26,333 --> 00:06:28,283
that I am in charge
of the children?
156
00:06:28,316 --> 00:06:30,333
Well, of course
you're in charge.
157
00:06:30,366 --> 00:06:33,830
And if Gracie doesn't want
to play with a little boy...
158
00:06:33,116 --> 00:06:34,366
she doesn't have to?
159
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,000
No, of course not.
160
00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:37,316
Miss Babcock,
come in.
161
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,266
It's Frank Bradley's son.
162
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:43,483
On the other hand--
What?
163
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,383
Well, it might be good
for Grace to play with him.
164
00:06:46,416 --> 00:06:48,316
But she
doesn't
like him.
165
00:06:48,350 --> 00:06:50,116
How does she know
she doesn't like him
166
00:06:50,150 --> 00:06:51,483
if she doesn't spend
any time with him?
167
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:53,483
Ooh, that's good!
168
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:55,316
Yeah, it's important
for Grace
169
00:06:55,350 --> 00:06:57,160
to learn
how to get along
170
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,300
with all kinds
of different people--
171
00:06:58,333 --> 00:07:01,316
Even people she doesn't
particularly care for.
172
00:07:01,350 --> 00:07:03,416
Too bad we didn't have this
conversation out in the
garden.
173
00:07:03,450 --> 00:07:06,266
The plants would've
loved
the fertilizer.
174
00:07:13,316 --> 00:07:17,100
Come on, Frank,
don't shoot at the
birds.
175
00:07:17,133 --> 00:07:19,660
Oy!
176
00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:21,116
Pow! Pow! Pow!
177
00:07:24,150 --> 00:07:26,116
You call this a park?
178
00:07:26,150 --> 00:07:27,366
I find it dull.
179
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:32,000
The scenery is totally lacking
in imagination.
180
00:07:32,330 --> 00:07:34,300
Why did we
have to bring him?
181
00:07:34,333 --> 00:07:36,316
Well, the more
the merrier--
182
00:07:36,350 --> 00:07:39,400
Except when you're
talking
about chins.
183
00:07:39,433 --> 00:07:43,283
My Aunt Miriam had more chins
than the Chinese phone book.
184
00:07:43,316 --> 00:07:45,330
[FRAN AND GRACE LAUGH]
185
00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:48,100
That joke's so old
I heard it onThe Flintstones,
186
00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:49,333
which, by the way,
187
00:07:49,366 --> 00:07:51,483
was a pale imitation
ofThe Honeymooners.
188
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,150
His father
is a critic.
189
00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:56,100
It's hereditary.
190
00:07:56,133 --> 00:07:58,100
I'm bored. Give me some food
to feed the squirrels.
191
00:07:58,133 --> 00:07:59,350
You don't need food.
192
00:07:59,383 --> 00:08:01,333
Just lie down
and make believe you're dead.
193
00:08:03,660 --> 00:08:06,283
My, does that kid have
a mouth on him or what?
194
00:08:06,316 --> 00:08:08,266
Does he take
after
his father?
195
00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:09,450
Who knows?
196
00:08:09,483 --> 00:08:12,233
I met his father for five
minutes and that was enough.
197
00:08:12,266 --> 00:08:13,466
Apparently.
198
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,400
I didn't want him,
199
00:08:15,433 --> 00:08:18,830
next thing I knew
he was on his way,
200
00:08:18,116 --> 00:08:20,160
and now I'm stuck
with him.
201
00:08:22,116 --> 00:08:24,100
I'm just furious
with Mr. Sheffield.
202
00:08:24,133 --> 00:08:25,450
The little
boy's
father?
203
00:08:25,483 --> 00:08:28,183
No, the little
girl's father.
204
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:30,166
The little boy's
is Mr. Bradley.
205
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,830
You call them
both
"Mister"?
206
00:08:33,116 --> 00:08:36,300
Well, I don't really know
either of them that well.
207
00:08:37,366 --> 00:08:39,500
What?!
208
00:08:39,830 --> 00:08:42,366
Oh, you think that me
and them are their...?
209
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,216
[LAUGHS]
I'm the nanny.
210
00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:45,416
[LAUGHS]
211
00:08:45,450 --> 00:08:48,433
Hey, Frank,
don't aim that at her.
212
00:08:48,466 --> 00:08:50,166
[WHOOSH]
213
00:08:53,183 --> 00:08:54,483
Good boy.
214
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,183
You're very patient.
215
00:08:57,216 --> 00:08:59,133
Maybe I should
get
a nanny.
216
00:08:59,166 --> 00:09:02,400
Oh, you really should, with one
baby and another one on the way.
217
00:09:02,433 --> 00:09:04,350
And two more
at home.
218
00:09:04,383 --> 00:09:08,100
Oh, honey, you don't need
a nanny. You need a hobby.
219
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:11,400
GRACE: Stop it.
You're gonna make her bald!
220
00:09:11,433 --> 00:09:13,350
Hey, Frank, quit it!
221
00:09:13,383 --> 00:09:16,116
There's no hair club
for dolls.
222
00:09:16,150 --> 00:09:18,830
Frank, did you
hear me?
223
00:09:18,116 --> 00:09:21,000
Are you going to make
me walk over there?
224
00:09:21,330 --> 00:09:23,316
He's gonna make me
walk over there.
225
00:09:23,350 --> 00:09:25,233
Frank, get off me!
226
00:09:25,266 --> 00:09:28,133
Oh, Calgon, take me away.
227
00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:32,160
Giddy up, little donkey.
228
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:34,350
GRACE:
Fran, he's pulling my hair!
229
00:09:34,383 --> 00:09:39,333
Frank, get off of her
before I count to three!
230
00:09:39,366 --> 00:09:42,133
One...two...
231
00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:46,000
two and a half...
two and three-quarters...
232
00:09:46,330 --> 00:09:47,433
Three, three, three!
233
00:09:47,466 --> 00:09:49,150
Oh, Frank!
234
00:09:49,183 --> 00:09:51,000
Ow!
235
00:09:51,330 --> 00:09:53,433
You hit me!
I did not!
236
00:09:53,466 --> 00:09:56,350
Did so. I'm gonna tell
my father on you.
237
00:09:56,383 --> 00:10:00,100
Oh, I'm really
shaking.
What's he gonna do?
238
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:03,160
I hear your boss
has a new play coming up.
239
00:10:06,216 --> 00:10:08,250
Who are you?
Siskel and Ebert?
240
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:20,000
Niles, have you seen my yellow
notepad with all my notes on
it?
241
00:10:20,330 --> 00:10:21,183
Not recently, sir.
242
00:10:21,216 --> 00:10:22,450
Where did you
have it last?
243
00:10:22,483 --> 00:10:25,500
Why do people
always ask that?
244
00:10:25,830 --> 00:10:26,333
If I remembered
where I had it last,
245
00:10:26,366 --> 00:10:30,500
I'd go there and get it and not
bother you about it, wouldn't I?
246
00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:34,000
The mantle. I was pacing
and I left it on the--
247
00:10:34,330 --> 00:10:35,283
Niles, you're a genius.
248
00:10:35,316 --> 00:10:38,450
Honored to be the wind
beneath your wings, sir.
249
00:10:38,483 --> 00:10:41,483
Hi! We're back.
250
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,366
[PHONE RINGING]
How was the park?
251
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:47,660
Oh, you know, birds,
trees, muggers-- The usual.
252
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:49,250
So, sweetheart,
did you and Frank Jr
253
00:10:49,283 --> 00:10:50,450
have a good time together?
254
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,300
We hit it off.
We broke bread.
255
00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:54,483
All right.
I'm glad.
256
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:56,383
And I really appreciate
you doing this
257
00:10:56,416 --> 00:10:59,333
because, well, you know,
Bradley's father's review
258
00:10:59,366 --> 00:11:01,200
could really make
or break our play
259
00:11:01,233 --> 00:11:03,383
and we've worked
so hard on it.
260
00:11:03,416 --> 00:11:05,100
And it's not
just me.
261
00:11:05,133 --> 00:11:07,116
I mean, there's all kinds
of jobs at stake--
262
00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:10,466
The cast, crew, ushers,
Old Pops at the stage door.
263
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,366
Oy, not Old Pops.
264
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:15,000
Telephone, sir.
It's Mr. Bradley.
265
00:11:15,330 --> 00:11:18,500
Probably calling
to try and steal you away.
266
00:11:18,830 --> 00:11:20,330
Oh, I might
be available.
267
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,133
Hello, Frank.
268
00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:24,233
What?
269
00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:28,100
Well, uh,
I'm terribly sorry. I--
270
00:11:28,133 --> 00:11:30,233
There must be
some mistake.
271
00:11:30,266 --> 00:11:32,333
No, no, Frank, there's
absolutely no reason
272
00:11:32,366 --> 00:11:34,350
to bring any lawyers
into this.
273
00:11:35,350 --> 00:11:38,330
Uh, Frank.
Er, Frank?
274
00:11:38,660 --> 00:11:39,466
Hello? Hello?
275
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,250
You wouldn't hit the woman
carrying your child, would you?
276
00:11:43,283 --> 00:11:46,266
All right, I'm trying
to stay calm.
277
00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:48,000
That's good,
278
00:11:48,330 --> 00:11:50,166
because you are entering those
dangerous heart-attack years.
279
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,133
Miss Fine,
you struck a
child?
280
00:11:53,166 --> 00:11:55,400
Struck a child?
Oh, God, let it be Grace.
281
00:11:55,433 --> 00:11:58,330
It was little
Frank Bradley.
282
00:11:58,660 --> 00:12:00,283
Miss Fine hit him
with a baguette.
283
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,166
She nailed him.
284
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,416
Kapow!
285
00:12:06,450 --> 00:12:08,383
Don't help,
honey.
286
00:12:08,416 --> 00:12:10,283
You can't nail someone
with a baguette
287
00:12:10,316 --> 00:12:12,166
unless it's stale,
of course,
288
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,450
or sourdough,
289
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:17,830
or a nice hard crouton
aimed at the Adam's apple.
290
00:12:17,116 --> 00:12:19,133
Do you have any idea
what you've done?
291
00:12:19,166 --> 00:12:23,216
Well, it's been a very busy day.
Can you be more specific?
292
00:12:23,250 --> 00:12:26,350
I'll tell you what we'll do,
we'll invite Mr. Bradley
293
00:12:26,383 --> 00:12:30,116
and his son over so Miss Fine
can apologize to them.
294
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:33,830
So even though the kid deserved
it, I'm gonna have to beg
295
00:12:33,116 --> 00:12:36,216
and grovel and completely
debase myself?
296
00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:38,383
Miss Babcock will show
you how it's done.
297
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,266
I don't think a gift basket
is gonna get us out of this one.
298
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:45,333
I may have to offer myself.
299
00:12:46,383 --> 00:12:49,660
Might as well
close the play now.
300
00:12:59,450 --> 00:13:01,383
Don't touch
that door!
301
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:06,330
Is it just me
or does he need a
vacation?
302
00:13:07,183 --> 00:13:08,350
We're conserving the cold
303
00:13:08,383 --> 00:13:10,133
until that wretched repairman
gets here.
304
00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:12,350
Now, tell me what you want.
You get one request.
305
00:13:12,383 --> 00:13:14,150
Uh, milk.
Yogurt.
306
00:13:14,183 --> 00:13:15,333
Miss Grace?
307
00:13:15,366 --> 00:13:17,183
I'm not
that hungry.
308
00:13:17,216 --> 00:13:21,116
Suit yourself, but I warn you--
The door won't open until 6:00.
309
00:13:21,483 --> 00:13:23,100
Okay, pudding.
310
00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:27,500
Two seconds.
311
00:13:31,433 --> 00:13:33,283
That's a new
personal best.
312
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,500
This isn't pudding.
This is cocktail onions.
313
00:13:38,830 --> 00:13:40,316
Well, I'd make you a martini,
but the ice has melted.
314
00:13:40,350 --> 00:13:44,116
I know these measures
may seem a bit harsh,
315
00:13:44,150 --> 00:13:46,483
but in order to ensure
that no more food spoils,
316
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,150
the refrigerator doors
must remain shut at all times.
317
00:13:50,183 --> 00:13:53,333
P-yew, Niles, something
smells
like it died in here.
318
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,500
Oh, Miss Fine!
319
00:13:55,830 --> 00:13:57,433
All right,
I'll have a bagel.
320
00:13:59,100 --> 00:14:00,300
Get back!
She's armed.
321
00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:01,466
Put the bagel down
322
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,400
and step away
from the bread box!
323
00:14:07,483 --> 00:14:09,350
This is all your fault,
Niles.
324
00:14:09,383 --> 00:14:11,466
You had to pack
that stupid baguette.
325
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,100
Baguettes don't hurt people.
People hurt people.
326
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,233
I can't believe Mr. Sheffield
is making me do this.
327
00:14:19,266 --> 00:14:21,433
What are you complaining about?
All you have to do is apologize.
328
00:14:21,466 --> 00:14:23,216
I have to make
the refreshments.
329
00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:24,450
Thank you, Niles.
330
00:14:24,483 --> 00:14:27,830
It's so nice to know that
we're in on this together.
331
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:29,383
Well, meanwhile,
the caviar is sweating,
332
00:14:29,416 --> 00:14:32,400
the brie is running
and my crudités is limp.
333
00:14:32,433 --> 00:14:35,266
You know, they got
an operation for that
now.
334
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:42,283
I can't believe
335
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,400
that you're making me
apologize for something
336
00:14:44,433 --> 00:14:47,660
when I really didn't do
anything wrong.
337
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:49,266
Look, Miss Fine, if you really
didn't do anything wrong,
338
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:51,166
just smile
and be charming and nice,
339
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,383
and lie through your teeth.
340
00:14:52,416 --> 00:14:54,433
Oh, well, if you
put it that way,
341
00:14:54,466 --> 00:14:58,366
I suppose I can make
believe
that I'm at a tax audit.
342
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,830
Hello, hello.
343
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:02,500
Maxwell, this is
Frank Bradley.
344
00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:04,433
Well, of course, it is.
Good to meet you, Frank.
345
00:15:04,466 --> 00:15:06,330
Hello, Sheffield.
346
00:15:06,660 --> 00:15:08,300
Oh, I do apologize
for this whole ugly mess.
347
00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:11,000
I feel terrible.
Really?
348
00:15:11,330 --> 00:15:13,216
I thought you'd be
used to disasters by now.
349
00:15:13,250 --> 00:15:14,483
You certainly have
produced enough of them.
350
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,483
[LAUGHS]
351
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,133
Oh, there's
that Bradley wit.
352
00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:20,450
Oh, and you must be
Frank Jr.
353
00:15:20,483 --> 00:15:22,150
Nice to meet you,
young man.
354
00:15:22,183 --> 00:15:24,316
Your hand's sweaty.
Nervous?
355
00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:28,250
What a charming
little snot, uh...tot!
356
00:15:30,383 --> 00:15:32,350
Miss Fine, don't you have
something you want to say
357
00:15:32,383 --> 00:15:34,200
to Mr.
Bradley
and his son?
358
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:37,350
Yeah, but then I'd have
something else to apologize
for.
359
00:15:37,383 --> 00:15:39,330
Miss Fine!
360
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:40,333
Oh, all right.
Okay.
361
00:15:40,366 --> 00:15:43,250
Uh, Mr. Bradley,
things might've gotten
362
00:15:43,283 --> 00:15:45,830
a little out of hand
at the park,
363
00:15:45,116 --> 00:15:47,283
and whosever fault
it was-- Not mine--
364
00:15:47,316 --> 00:15:49,266
I suppose
I would be sorry.
365
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:52,483
Well, that's that, then.
A heartfelt apology. Shall we?
366
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,383
Well, I think
it needs some work.
367
00:15:54,416 --> 00:15:57,133
What do you think,
son?
368
00:15:57,166 --> 00:16:01,483
It left me cold, much
like
Robert Goulet in
Cyrano.
369
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:03,433
[LAUGHS]
370
00:16:03,466 --> 00:16:06,233
That's my boy!
How fast they grow up.
371
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:09,383
Soon he'll be closing plays
and destroying careers.
372
00:16:09,416 --> 00:16:12,660
You must be very proud.
373
00:16:13,216 --> 00:16:15,330
Well, I'd love to stand here
and grovel,
374
00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:17,450
but I'm afraid
I have to walk the dog.
375
00:16:17,483 --> 00:16:19,183
Chester!
376
00:16:19,216 --> 00:16:21,216
Come on, boy.
Come on, boy.
377
00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:23,366
Good boy. Yes!
378
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,200
Where do you want to go?
Oh, Pomerania.
379
00:16:25,233 --> 00:16:26,433
Well, I'll get my coat.
380
00:16:28,183 --> 00:16:30,150
That dog's ugly.
381
00:16:30,183 --> 00:16:33,183
He's got beady little eyes
and a pointy little nose.
382
00:16:33,216 --> 00:16:35,200
It looks like her!
383
00:16:37,333 --> 00:16:39,200
They're from
the same litter.
384
00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:43,160
A finger sandwich?
385
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:46,333
Ew! What
idiot
made these?
386
00:16:46,366 --> 00:16:50,116
I did. And they came
from a real little boy.
387
00:16:54,366 --> 00:16:57,233
Yes, finger sandwich,
Mr. Bradley?
388
00:16:57,266 --> 00:17:01,100
A man like you deserves a good
finger every now and then.
389
00:17:04,483 --> 00:17:07,300
Sheffield, I can't believe
that you employ this woman.
390
00:17:07,333 --> 00:17:09,160
She's rude,
she's insolent,
391
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:11,330
and totally unfit
to be a nanny!
392
00:17:11,660 --> 00:17:12,133
[CHESTER BARKING]
393
00:17:12,166 --> 00:17:14,160
And keep this damn beast
out of my eyes!
394
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:15,116
Ow!
395
00:17:16,133 --> 00:17:17,283
Your dog bit me.
396
00:17:17,316 --> 00:17:19,250
He's not my dog.
Yes, he is.
397
00:17:19,283 --> 00:17:20,416
What?
398
00:17:20,450 --> 00:17:22,466
That dog has absolutely
no connection whatsoever
399
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,300
to either myself,
Maxwell or our
play.
400
00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:26,000
That dog
is a menace to society
401
00:17:26,330 --> 00:17:27,300
and ought to be
put to sleep!
402
00:17:27,333 --> 00:17:29,160
Sure. No problem.
403
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:32,250
Hey! Listen, Cruella,
nobody is touching this dog!
404
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,216
He's my dog.
405
00:17:35,250 --> 00:17:36,316
I thought he was hers.
406
00:17:36,350 --> 00:17:38,200
I forgot.
407
00:17:38,233 --> 00:17:40,183
Maxwell gave him to me
for my birthday.
408
00:17:40,216 --> 00:17:41,383
It was a gift
from the
heart,
409
00:17:41,416 --> 00:17:43,283
so if I want
to kill him I
can.
410
00:17:43,316 --> 00:17:46,116
Niles, quick!
Get a bucket of
water.
411
00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:48,133
Let's see
if she
melts.
412
00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:52,000
Sheffield, if you want
to avoid a lawsuit
413
00:17:52,330 --> 00:17:53,333
I suggest
that you muzzle that dog
414
00:17:53,366 --> 00:17:56,366
and muzzle the nanny
as well!
415
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:59,400
You know, Frank,
I'm getting bloody
tired
416
00:17:59,433 --> 00:18:01,660
of kissing up to you.
417
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:03,183
I'm not.
Let me do
it.
418
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:05,333
Miss Fine was right
from the beginning.
419
00:18:05,366 --> 00:18:07,350
I should never
have
forced my little
girl
420
00:18:07,383 --> 00:18:09,160
to play with your son.
421
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:11,660
Quite clearly, he
deserved
everything he got.
422
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:14,500
I don't care what you
think
about my play,
423
00:18:14,830 --> 00:18:17,200
and, frankly, I don't
care
much for you either.
424
00:18:17,233 --> 00:18:19,316
Now, let me show you
the door.
425
00:18:19,350 --> 00:18:20,450
It's over there.
426
00:18:22,266 --> 00:18:23,483
Son, let's go!
427
00:18:29,183 --> 00:18:31,433
You'll never work
in this town again!
428
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:40,333
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, you know,
it takes you a while,
429
00:18:40,366 --> 00:18:43,160
but when you see
the light, boy,
430
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:46,660
you just jump on that
white horse and you go.
431
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:50,316
And you, my little
fluffy protector,
432
00:18:50,350 --> 00:18:53,466
you were just
like Kevin Costner
inThe Bodyguard.
433
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,266
Except you
have a better haircut.
434
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:10,283
Oh, I thought the
play
was just excellent.
435
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:14,100
Put in a seafood buffet
and you've got yourself a
hit.
436
00:19:14,133 --> 00:19:16,660
Miss Fine, if you
enjoyed it that much,
437
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:18,200
how come you snuck out
before the curtain call?
438
00:19:18,233 --> 00:19:20,133
Well, because
nature called.
439
00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:23,330
And by the way,
not to knock your
theater,
440
00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:25,660
but two stalls, 600 women--
441
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:26,483
It's like Tokyo in there.
442
00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:30,160
I hate waiting
for reviews.
443
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:31,466
My stomach has been in knots
all day long.
444
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,330
Oh, we really don't have
anything to be concerned about.
445
00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:36,233
I mean, whatever
else
he might be,
446
00:19:36,266 --> 00:19:38,166
Frank Bradley
is a
professional.
447
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:39,283
Right.
448
00:19:39,316 --> 00:19:40,483
He's not gonna let
his personal feelings
449
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,160
get in the way
of his judgment.
450
00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:44,333
BOTH:
We're doomed.
451
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,400
I thought these pictures were
supposed to be of famous people.
452
00:19:48,433 --> 00:19:50,133
Who's Ethel Merman?
453
00:19:52,330 --> 00:19:53,400
Never heard of her.
454
00:19:53,433 --> 00:19:55,416
How about Mary Martin?
455
00:19:55,450 --> 00:19:57,266
Beats me.
456
00:19:57,300 --> 00:20:00,100
Hey, hey, how about
this one? Groucho Marx.
457
00:20:01,316 --> 00:20:04,183
Oh, he must be
Marky Mark's grandfather.
458
00:20:05,483 --> 00:20:07,233
Oh, look!
Here it is, here
it is!
459
00:20:07,266 --> 00:20:08,333
Oh, I can't look.
460
00:20:08,366 --> 00:20:10,233
Just tell me which way
his thumb is pointing.
461
00:20:10,266 --> 00:20:12,100
MAN ON TV:Well, it's time
for
462
00:20:12,133 --> 00:20:13,250
Unfortunately, Frank Bradley
463
00:20:13,283 --> 00:20:15,183
is out with food poisoning
tonight.
464
00:20:15,216 --> 00:20:16,450
[ONLOOKERS EXCLAIM]
465
00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:19,266
The finger sandwiches.
466
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:22,216
I ate
the finger sandwiches.
467
00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:25,160
Oops!
That darn refrigerator.
468
00:20:27,283 --> 00:20:28,450
So, we went
right to the theater
469
00:20:28,483 --> 00:20:31,133
to get the opinion
of the common man.
470
00:20:31,166 --> 00:20:32,433
Hi!
471
00:20:32,466 --> 00:20:34,250
Fran, that's you!
472
00:20:34,283 --> 00:20:37,266
I know. Do I look
a little chunky?
473
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:40,316
I loved it.
It was a masterpiece!
474
00:20:40,350 --> 00:20:43,433
Compelling, riveting--
A sheer enchantment.
475
00:20:43,466 --> 00:20:46,300
Two thumbs up.
476
00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:48,450
Bartender, I think there's
something wrong with your
set.
477
00:20:48,483 --> 00:20:50,466
I sound so nasal.
478
00:20:52,433 --> 00:20:56,133
It was a perfect
evening of theater,
479
00:20:56,166 --> 00:20:58,500
although adding a few stalls
to the ladies' room
480
00:20:58,830 --> 00:21:00,000
wouldn't kill them!
481
00:21:00,330 --> 00:21:02,250
Hi, Ma! Hi!
Hi, Daddy!
482
00:21:02,283 --> 00:21:05,133
MAN:Well, it looks
like a hit to us.
483
00:21:05,166 --> 00:21:07,500
[CHEERING]
484
00:21:07,830 --> 00:21:10,160
Oh, thank you,
Miss Fine!
485
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,300
Oh.
486
00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:17,200
[LAUGHING] Any time,
Mr. Sheffield.
487
00:21:17,233 --> 00:21:18,483
Any time.
488
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:27,160
Well, that
makes it official.
489
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,266
Our final perishable
has perished.
490
00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:30,383
[DOORBELL RINGS]
491
00:21:30,416 --> 00:21:34,160
And there's the repairman,
in the nick of time.
492
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:36,350
Well, listen, the man
is highly in demand.
493
00:21:36,383 --> 00:21:39,150
This is a very sensitive
piece of equipment.
494
00:21:39,183 --> 00:21:40,466
Who you gonna call?
495
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,116
Frost Busters.
496
00:21:55,166 --> 00:21:57,183
Yeah, I'll just have a look
at the old Frigidaire.
497
00:21:57,216 --> 00:22:00,300
Well, actually,
it's a Sub-Zero.
498
00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:04,350
Not anymore.
499
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,300
Could be
a condenser problem.
500
00:22:16,333 --> 00:22:18,160
I think you
got
a crack.
501
00:22:20,466 --> 00:22:23,333
We got a crack.
Mmm.
502
00:22:23,366 --> 00:22:24,433
You know, I think
these repairmen
503
00:22:24,466 --> 00:22:27,116
must all shop
at the same store.
504
00:22:27,150 --> 00:22:28,366
Yeah, the Gap.
505
00:22:32,366 --> 00:22:34,416
[MUSIC PLAYING]
506
00:22:34,450 --> 00:22:36,300
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
507
00:22:47,660 --> 00:22:48,316
Oh, thank you so much!
508
00:22:48,350 --> 00:22:50,400
And I'd like you all
to please thank my dear friend,
509
00:22:50,433 --> 00:22:53,183
a man that I'll kiss any day
on both cheeks,
510
00:22:53,216 --> 00:22:54,400
Mr. Dan Aykroyd!
511
00:22:54,433 --> 00:22:56,233
[CHEERING]
512
00:23:01,466 --> 00:23:04,116
[MUSIC PLAYING]