So, Fran, did you finish sewing my bear?
Uh-huh, and while I was in there,
I took some of the stuffing out of her stomach
and I put it in her lips.
I wanted her to look like a Care Bear.
Well, now she looks like a Cher bear.
Oh, wow.
Hi, Mr. Sheffield.
Don't you look handsome.
Got a hot date tonight?
Yes, but I'm missing a stud.
Yeah, well, who isn't?
Forget it. I'm not taking you to the movies, you little worm.
Well, why not? Your friends won't mind.
They're really nice to me.
That's because I told them
you only had six months to live.
So, what time's my curfew tonight?
10 if you go with the worm,
nine if you go wormless.
There. Now you're perfect.
Thank you, Miss Fine.
Oh, where are you going?
Oh, tonight is my Butler's Association meeting.
Oh, a walk on the wild side?
Mm, you said it.
Sometimes we listen to recordings of doorbells
and don't get up.
Ah, you...
Well, Gracie, it looks like it's just you and me, babe.
I've got a dinner date.
SpaghettiOs at Bernard's.
Can I come if I bring my own can?
Sorry. Our relationship's at that fragile stage.
Everybody's got their own life but me.
Well, Cher, I got you, babe.
[KNOCKING]
Oh...
Thank God.
Hi, Fran. I knew you'd be home.
Oh, yeah, well,
it's official.
I peaked in high school.
I rentedSingle White Female
and I picked up a box of Slim Fast bars.
You know, Val, after 10 bars,
you don't get slim so fast.
Do I have news for you.
Danny broke up with Heather Biblow.
How'd you know that?
Oh, from the information superhighway.
My mother.
Did she tell you Danny's been asking about you nonstop?
Oh, I could care less.
You know, when I dumped him
and marched myself out of that bridal shop--
No. Remember?
Danny dumped you for Heather Biblow
and then he fired you so she could have your job.
Val, it was a while ago.
It's all very fuzzy, okay?
Just go talk to him, Frannie.
You two are meant for each other.
Look, Val, the guy dumped me.
There isn't anything that you're gonna say or do
that's gonna make me want to set foot
into that bridal shop.
This time,you
Mm. What time does he open?
See?
♪♪ She was working In a bridal shop ♪♪
♪♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪♪
♪♪ Till her boyfriend Kicked her out ♪♪
♪♪ In one Of those crushing scenes ♪♪
♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
♪♪ So over the bridge From Flushing To the Sheffields' door ♪♪
♪♪ She was there to sell makeup But the father saw more ♪♪
♪♪ She had style, she had flair She was there ♪♪
♪♪ That's how she became The Nanny ♪♪
♪♪ Who would have guessed That the girl we described ♪♪
♪♪ Was just exactly What the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
♪♪ Now the father Finds her beguiling ♪♪
♪♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪♪
♪♪ And the kids Are actually smiling ♪♪
♪♪ Such joie de vivre ♪♪
♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
♪♪ When everybody else Is wearing tan ♪♪
♪♪ The flashy girl From Flushing ♪♪
♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪
We got a customer, Mr. Imperiali.
You brought the kids here?
Well, I would have tied them to the meter,
but Mr. Sheffield frowns on that.
Maggie, look. It's your new boyfriend.
Ah, he's got your personality too.
And your equipment.
Fran?
Babe, look at you.
You look like a million bucks.
It was just something I threw together.
You changed your outfit 15 times.
Uh, she can't count. She's only 6.
I'm 7. See what I mean?
Uh, come on, kids.
Let's go check the pay phone for quarters.
Fran, I, uh...
You know, my mother really misses you.
Oh, did she get the Isotoners
I sent her for Christmas? Yeah, that was really sweet.
You know, especially considering the circumstances.
Mm-hmm. Well, I don't hate her guts.
She didn't dump me for Heather Biblow.
Look, I'm sorry.
I had to have a cheap, tawdry affair just to really appreciate you.
You were with her for six months.
I had to be sure.
Yeah, well, I could care less.
Look, if you could care less,
then why do you come down here
looking like you're looking?
Just to let you know what you're never gonna have again.
Suffer. I am.
Frannie, I still want you,
and, uh...
something tells me you still want me too.
I don't.
I don't...
Uh...
Uh.
No.
I'm not coming back here
so that I can waste another three years of my life
waiting for you not to ask me to marry you.
All right. All right. I'm gonna do it right now.
Frannie Fine...
will you marry me?
-What? -I'm asking you to marry me.
I miss you. I love you.
Come on. What do you say?
What do I say?
You led me on for three years.
You cheated on me.
You fired me.
So?
So, I'm gonna have to think about it.
Ma!
Ma, good news. It finally happened.
I got proposed to.
Thank you!
[SINGING IN YIDDISH]
Ma! Ma! Calm down!
Calm down. You're gonna make it start to rain.
Oh, Frannie, your father and I
have been waiting for this day
since the moment you were born.
Now we can die.
Morty, you can start smoking again!
Ma, I haven't said yes yet.
Morty, put away the cigar.
What is to think about?
He's handsome. He's rich.
He's already got three children,
which, trust me,
your pelvis will thank you for.
Ma, it's not Mr. Sheffield.
It's not?
No. The boss never marries the help.
Look at Tony and Angela.
Eight years he wasted on her.
He was so heartbroken, he skied into a tree.
Major Nelson and Jeannie tied the knot.
If she had any commitment at all to that relationship,
she would've given up her apartment.
It was a bottle. They kept it on top of the mantel.
All I'm saying is...
What the hell am I saying?
How the hell should I know? So, who are you marrying?
Danny. Who do you think?
Oy.
What? What's the matter?
You were always so hot to see me and Danny together.
Now you're giving me a lukewarm "oy"?
I didn't like the way he treated you
during that whole Heather Biblow thing.
He's a real trombenik.
So he made a mistake.
He begged me to come back.
He cried that he loved me.
He cried? Mm-hmm.
Oh, I love a man who cries...
except Jerry Lewis at the end of the telethon.
Ma, I don't know what to do.
Tell me what to do.
I don't know. Do you love him?
How do you ever know?
How did you know that you were in love with dad?
Hmm. His dimples.
Daddy doesn't have dimples.
Not whereyou
But he always treated me like a lady.
Every weekend, he would take me to his favorite restaurant,
and he never once let me carry my own tray.
Well...
Danny is not quite as gallant as Dad was,
but I'll tell you,
when he took me in his arms today
and kissed me,
boy, did it bring back memories.
It reminded me of the time
when you and Dad went to Puerto Rico,
and Danny came over, and I said,
"You can't come in here,"
"Danny Imperiali, because my parents said,"
"'No boys allowed.'"
Mm-hmm?
Oh, Ma...
I don't know what to do.
I mean, all my life,
I've been wanting Danny to propose,
and now that he finally does,
all I keep thinking about is how much I love those three kids.
I know, sweetheart,
but it's still just a job.
Don't you want a life of your own?
You know I do.
So?
So I-I guess I'm getting married.
Mazel tov!
Light up, Morty!
[SINGING IN YIDDISH]
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
Ma...
[SNIFFLING]
Oh, Niles, don't take it so hard.
Uh, it's the onions.
I mean, I can still come and visit.
You can come to Queens. We can go bowling.
Oh... If you don't like bowling,
we can play miniature golf.
That's better.
Say, where should I have the engagement party?
Mongolian barbecue or Benny's Clam Bar?
Tough choice.
Which has the indoor restrooms?
Oh. You think that's important?
All right, Benny's.
Why don't you have it at your favorite little Italian place
in the Village?
Oh. Nah.
Danny doesn't really like to come into the city.
Oh, yes, Manhattan has so little to offer.
All right, so we don't have as much in common as we used to,
but I'll work on all that after we're married.
Good thinking.
Men are so easy to change.
What's that supposed to mean?
Oh, nothing.
Have you told Mr. Sheffield yet?
No, but...
you know. He's so busy,
and I don't want to just barge in.
Yes, I know how you hate to do that.
Mr. Sheffield, I'm getting married.
Yahoo! Hoo-hoo!
I mean, you? To who?
Oh, it doesn't matter.
Do you need a dress, a ring, a ride to temple?
Oh, I'm feeling positively giddy!
I have a million phone calls to make. I'm so happy!
For you, dear. Ha ha ha!
Happy is not a good color for that woman.
So, uh...
who's the lucky man?
Danny Imperiali.
What? I can't believe it.
After he lied and cheated on you with Heather Biblow?
How could you?
Well, uh... if I could forgive him,
I would think you certainly could.
Right.
Oh. Well, then, thisis
Oh, I couldn't be happier for you.
You couldn't?
Oh, me too.
I, uh...
I-I suppose this means you'll be leaving us.
Oh, I guess so,
but I'll stay on
until you find someone to replace me.
No one could ever replace you, Miss Fine.
Who else is gonna turn up to breakfast
in those loud, inappropriate bathrobes?
I'll leave a few for Niles.
Well, uh...
you'll be greatly missed...
uh, by the children.
I'll miss them too.
Well, I wish you all the luck in the world...
and, um, listen, I'd like to help you
with your honeymoon.
Oh, well, it's a little breaking with tradition,
but I'll ask Danny.
Uh, no, Miss Fine,
I, um... I, uh... I meant financially.
Oh, well. That'll be nice too.
So, would you like me to be there
when you tell the children?
Oh, do we have to tell the children?
I think they'll notice you're missing.
Can't you just tell them I'm taking a bath?
Miss Fine, you'll be gone forever.
Tell them I'm putting on my make-up.
Children, Miss Fine has something to tell you.
Oh, sorry. Go on.
I... can't.
Come on, Miss Fine. It won't be as hard as you think.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Well, remember Danny from the bridal shop?
Oh, you mean that back-stabbing, two-timing creep?
Uh-huh.
Well, he's getting married,
and you're all invited.
That's great. Oh, great! That'll be fun.
So what idiot fell for that loser?
I know! I know!
Oh, my God. You're getting married?
Well!
Thisis
The closet's barely big enough foryour
He's not moving in with her.
Well, that's not gonna be much of a marriage.
Wake up, twerp. Fran's leaving us.
Don't worry, children.
You still have Aunt C.C.
Oh, come on, children,
you'll still be able to see Miss Fine.
Yeah, yeah, that's right,
on all the major holidays.
We'll spend Christmas Together,
4th of July,
the back room sale at Loehman's.
Yeah, we'll stay in touch for a while,
then you'll just forget us.
And we'll forget her.
Hey, kids,
you know when I'm down in the dumps
what cheers me up?
A fifth of scotch and a fresh pack of batteries?
Oh, ho-ho, Nanny Fine,
how I'll miss that wit.
No.
Actually, I was referring to singing.
♪♪ For she's A jolly good fellow ♪♪
♪♪ Which nobody can deny ♪♪
[WHISTLING]
Well, thank you so much.
We'll call you...
when hell freezes over.
What was wrong with her, sir?
She has 20 years' experience, speaks five languages,
is a registered nurse...
She had no style, no sense of humor,
and her hair was...
oddly flat.
Oh, yes. You're right, sir.
I don't know what I was thinking.
The truth is, Niles,
I've come to depend on Miss Fine for everything.
Everything, sir?
Well, I mean, all those things I don't depend on you for.
Who could've known it would be so hard to say goodbye?
Well, actually, it's not goodbye
Miss Fine is taking me miniature golfing next week.
I just wish to God there was some way to...
Ah, no, it just wouldn't be right
to interfere with Miss Fine's chance at happiness.
Yes. After all,
some of us only get one shot at it, don't we, sir?
I was in love once.
I say, I was in love once.
Oh, I'm sorry, Niles.
Did you want to tell me about it?
Yes. It was Catherine. The housekeeper.
We never spoke of it, but there were signs.
A look, a wink, a shared laugh.
But I never did anything about it,
so she married someone else, and I never saw her again.
Of course, no one ever knew.
Oh, good God, man, the whole house knew.
We were taking bets
on when you two would get together.
The incredible thing is, you let her get away.
Yes, I was remarkably stupid, wasn't I, sir?
Why can't we just tell Fran not to go?
Because it's something she wants,
and since we're her friends,
we should want it for her.
Can't you just offer some more money?
Brighton!
I have. It didn't work.
You never offered Catherine more money.
I could've had a life.
If Catherine had ever cleaned behind the refrigerator,
you might.
This is good. We're all venting.
It'll make us feel better.
Oh, shut up, Gracie.
Wow. You're right.
I do feel better.
Oh, come on, everyone.
Look, I know it's hard to say goodbye,
but I want us all to act like grownups.
♪♪ Which nobody can deny ♪♪
Why so glum?
It's a happy occasion.
She's getting married.
Oh, you people are so selfish.
Miss Fine,
may I help you with those?
Maybe you could just take my make-up bag.
Yes.
[GRUNTS] Oh.
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
Isn't anybody gonna say anything?
DANNY: Hey, Fran! Come on, honey!
I'm double-parked out here!
Oh, he sounds charming!
Look at her go.
The woman could deliver for Domino's.
Yeah.
If she doesn't come hot, she's free.
Come in, come in. She's all ready to go.
Hey.
Oh, hi, Danny.
Hi, sweetheart. Hey, hey, hey.
I just want you to meet my boss.
Maxwell Sheffield, this is Danny Imperiali.
-How's it hangin'? -I beg your pardon?
-Huh? -What?
Oh, we have a little bit of language barrier here.
Mr. Sheffield speaks English.
Come on, children. Help me with the luggage.
Oh, I'm gonna buy you a whole new set
for the honeymoon. These bags are so old.
BOTH: Takes one to know one.
Jinx! Buy me a Coke.
Oh, you, Scarecrow,
I'm gonna miss most of all.
Mm.
I'll get the rest of your things.
Yeah, thanks. It's the powder-blue van
with "Danny's Parisian Brides for Less"
printed on both sides.
Oh, thank you. We could've been
wandering around out there for hours.
Well, honey, take a last look around.
Your nanny days are over.
-Oh... -We'll certainly miss her.
You know, if you're in a little bit of a bind,
I mean, I could work a few days a week. Monday through Friday.
No way Danny Imperiali's wife is gonna take a job.
I thought you wanted me to work in the bridal shop.
Yeah, but I wasn't gonna pay you.
I'm kidding. Come on, honey.
You're gonna be a lady of leisure.
You're just gonna cook and clean
and take care of me and take care of the kids.
Oh, yabba-dabba-do. I don't have to walk Dino?
Well, Miss Fine, is that everything?
[SIGHS]
Yeah, I guess so,
unless you want to give me this one
as a parting gift.
I wrote you a poem, Fran.
You did?
F is for the fun We have together
R is for the rummy That we play
A is for the answers To my questions
And N is for the nasal Things you say.
[NASALLY] Aww...
We're all gonna miss that sound.
DANNY: Come on, honey. The tunnel is backing up here.
Oh. Yeah. Yeah.
I love you.
I love you. I'll call you.
Brighton, don't you want to give me a hug?
No. I hate you.
Oh, come on, B.
You're not making this any easier on me.
Yeah, well, why should I?
You're not making this very easy on us.
Now, Brighton, that's quite enough.
Well, he's right.
I mean, you told us to pretend like we're happy about this,
but we're not.
We're losing our best friend.
You're telling them to lie about their feelings?
I haven't even gone yet, and you're already making mistakes?
I did it for you.
You think it's easy for us to stand here
and watch you walk out that door
and throw your life away on that Neanderthal?
Huh?
Well, I'm sorry, old man, but--
Hey. Hey. I'm younger than you.
Oh, Miss Fine, it... All right, it's true.
The children will miss you.
I'll miss you.
But you've made us all so happy here,
we just want you to be happy now.
I don't want to go!
Do something, you big oaf.
You're damn right I will!
Come on, honey, you're embarrassing me here.
Danny, I don't want...
I don't want to hurt you, but...
I think I've outgrown you.
No, honey, you're just wearing heels.
Were you always this stupid?
Yeah.
Nothing's changed.
Maybe you got a little smarter.
[WHISPERING] No, I think he was always this stupid.
Hey, are you dumping me?
No, I would never...
Come to think of it, I think I am.
Gee, it doesn't feel as good as I thought it would.
Baby, I love you!
You love me!
At least, you love this. Huh?
See? I still got it.
Yeah...
but I don't want it anymore.
No? Mm-mm.
Whoa.
You want it?
Two seconds. Time heals all wounds.
Wait! We'll win her back!
We can get flowers, perfume!
She needs a new car!
I'll pay for everything!
Come on, everyone, let's celebrate!
Four Seasons, and it's on me.
Oh, no. My treat, my treat.
No, Miss Fine, I'm paying.
Oh, no, I insist.
I'll use the money you gave me for the honeymoon.
What, you didn't think you were ever gonna see that again, did you?
Well, just, uh, consider it a bonus.
Thanks.
Welcome back, Miss Fine.
Thank you, Mr. Sheffield.
It's good to be back.
I just...
I just hope you made the right decision.
I did.
Hi.
[WHISPERING] Shh. Don't say anything,
but I just upgraded myself from Coach.
[GIGGLES]
I'm Fran Fine. What's your name?
Jeff Sigansky, and this is my daughter Gillian.
So, what do you do?
I develop shows for CBS.
Ooh. Ha.
You know, I'm a nanny,
and a lot of people tell me
that my life would make a great sitcom.
Uh, Stewardess, how many hours left on this flight?
You see, I was working in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens,
till my boyfriend kicked me out
in one of those crushing scenes.
Where was I to go? What was I to do?
I was out on my fanny.
Pardon my French.