1 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,416 Niles. Hm? 2 00:00:09,450 --> 00:00:13,000 Brighton says my uniform makes me look like a dork. 3 00:00:13,330 --> 00:00:14,366 I wear a uniform. Do I look like a dork? 4 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,150 Remember what happened to Gretel. 5 00:00:25,660 --> 00:00:28,116 I see we've customized our Red Robin uniform. 6 00:00:28,150 --> 00:00:31,830 Believe me, you sell more cookies my way. 7 00:00:31,116 --> 00:00:33,416 Does anybody know what today is? 8 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:36,330 Another one of your colorful holidays involving plagues? 9 00:00:36,660 --> 00:00:38,266 Hey, don't knock the Jewish holidays. 10 00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:41,266 They get you out of more school than mono. 11 00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:44,100 No, one year ago today was the day 12 00:00:44,133 --> 00:00:46,383 that Danny dumped me for Heather Biblow, 13 00:00:46,416 --> 00:00:49,116 which would make one year ago tomorrow 14 00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:51,100 the day that Heather found Nair in her Pert Plus... 15 00:00:53,483 --> 00:00:55,166 which would make Friday the day 16 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,233 that she bought her first Eva Gabor wig. 17 00:01:00,133 --> 00:01:01,466 Grab the wheel, Miss Fine. You're swerving. 18 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,283 Oh. Sorry. 19 00:01:04,316 --> 00:01:06,166 Which would make Saturday the first anniversary 20 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,316 of the day that I started to work here. 21 00:01:08,350 --> 00:01:10,216 Oh, it seems like only yesterday 22 00:01:10,250 --> 00:01:11,283 when you called the Orkin Man 23 00:01:11,316 --> 00:01:12,400 when I served escargots. 24 00:01:12,433 --> 00:01:14,433 [CHUCKLES] 25 00:01:14,466 --> 00:01:16,660 I don't care how rich you are. 26 00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:17,250 You don't eat something 27 00:01:17,283 --> 00:01:20,333 that leaves a trail of slime behind it. 28 00:01:20,366 --> 00:01:22,400 Oh, don't you look adorable in that uniform. 29 00:01:22,433 --> 00:01:25,830 Oh, Mr. Sheffield. 30 00:01:25,116 --> 00:01:26,383 I was talking to Grace, Miss Fine. 31 00:01:26,416 --> 00:01:29,660 Oh. - But you do look-- 32 00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,330 Well, I know Red Robins are always prepared, 33 00:01:31,660 --> 00:01:33,116 but for what? 34 00:01:33,150 --> 00:01:35,166 Well, you're just gonna have to earn a merit badge 35 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,450 to find out. Hm. 36 00:01:37,483 --> 00:01:39,183 It was very sweet of you to volunteer 37 00:01:39,216 --> 00:01:40,350 to be Grace's troop mother, Miss Fine. 38 00:01:40,383 --> 00:01:43,200 Oh, my pleasure. 39 00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:45,500 That's the last time I ever scratch my armpit in public. 40 00:01:50,433 --> 00:01:52,450 Miss Fine, will you be free Saturday night? 41 00:01:52,483 --> 00:01:55,450 Saturday? Why? 42 00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:57,250 Well, I'd rather not discuss it. 43 00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:59,133 I just want to be sure you can be here. 44 00:01:59,166 --> 00:02:02,133 I'm all yours, and I have been for a year. 45 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,233 Oh, I can't believe he remembered. 46 00:02:06,266 --> 00:02:08,366 Is he a doll or what? 47 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,483 You know, if he asks, I don't expect anything-- 48 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:10,383 Size five. 49 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:16,233 I have never felt so wanted or appreciated-- 50 00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:17,100 Bloomingdale's, 3rd floor. 51 00:02:19,483 --> 00:02:21,216 Well, I just hope he doesn't go overboard-- 52 00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:22,660 Diamonds are forever. 53 00:02:24,116 --> 00:02:27,250 [THEME SONG PLAYS] 54 00:02:27,283 --> 00:02:28,333 ♪ She was workin' In a bridal shop ♪ 55 00:02:28,366 --> 00:02:30,830 ♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪ 56 00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:31,250 ♪ Till her boyfriend Kicked her out ♪ 57 00:02:31,283 --> 00:02:33,660 ♪ In one of those Crushing scenes ♪ 58 00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:34,416 ♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪ 59 00:02:34,450 --> 00:02:37,433 ♪ She was out on her fanny ♪ 60 00:02:37,466 --> 00:02:39,266 ♪ So over the bridge From Flushing ♪ 61 00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:41,150 ♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪ 62 00:02:41,183 --> 00:02:43,300 ♪ She was there to sell makeup ♪ But the father saw more ♪ 63 00:02:43,333 --> 00:02:45,316 ♪ She had style, she had flair, She was there ♪ 64 00:02:45,350 --> 00:02:49,266 ♪ That's how she became The Nanny ♪ 65 00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:52,350 ♪ Who would've guessed That the girl we described ♪ 66 00:02:52,383 --> 00:02:54,233 ♪ Was just exactly what The doctor prescribed? ♪ 67 00:02:54,266 --> 00:02:55,300 ♪ Now the father Finds her beguiling ♪ 68 00:02:55,333 --> 00:02:57,330 ♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪ 69 00:02:57,660 --> 00:02:58,183 ♪ And the kids Sre actually smiling ♪ 70 00:02:58,216 --> 00:02:59,316 ♪ Such joie de vivre ♪ 71 00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:01,100 ♪ She's the lady in red ♪ 72 00:03:01,133 --> 00:03:05,383 ♪ When everybody else Is wearing tan ♪ 73 00:03:05,416 --> 00:03:07,216 ♪ The flashy girl From Flushing ♪ 74 00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:07,450 ♪ The nanny named Fran ♪ 75 00:03:15,333 --> 00:03:18,160 Okay, Red Robins, now survival tips. 76 00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:19,383 Listen closely, 'cause the proper knot 77 00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:21,116 can save your life. 78 00:03:21,150 --> 00:03:23,233 You're in the woods, you look around. 79 00:03:23,266 --> 00:03:24,150 All of a sudden you squish a bug... 80 00:03:24,183 --> 00:03:25,316 right here. 81 00:03:25,350 --> 00:03:27,150 [GIRLS GROANING] - Disgusting! 82 00:03:27,183 --> 00:03:29,116 Well, the proper slipknot 83 00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:33,133 not only can conceal those unwanted bug guts, 84 00:03:33,166 --> 00:03:35,300 but it also creates a flattering neckline 85 00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:36,316 and gives the illusion of cleavage. 86 00:03:40,330 --> 00:03:42,133 You're a born leader, Miss Fine. 87 00:03:42,166 --> 00:03:44,200 Well, you know, I was leader of my Weight Watchers group. 88 00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:46,500 You had a weight problem? 89 00:03:46,830 --> 00:03:48,830 Oh, yeah. I once woke up with a Milky Way in my mouth. 90 00:03:48,116 --> 00:03:48,433 I still don't know how it got there. 91 00:03:51,266 --> 00:03:53,500 Where you goin'? 92 00:03:53,830 --> 00:03:54,466 We're going to Macy's to buy a present for-- 93 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:55,416 Someone. Not you. 94 00:03:57,166 --> 00:03:58,250 Yeah, for my friend... 95 00:03:58,283 --> 00:04:00,160 Mark. 96 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:01,416 Oh, Mark. What are you gettin' him? 97 00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:02,183 Chanel No. 5. 98 00:04:05,133 --> 00:04:07,133 Oh, well, perhapsMark 99 00:04:07,166 --> 00:04:08,433 a lighter, more floral scent-- 100 00:04:08,466 --> 00:04:10,160 Jean Naté,L'Air du Temps. 101 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,216 But... 102 00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:13,150 it's the thought that counts. 103 00:04:13,183 --> 00:04:13,250 [MUTTERS] Take your father's credit card. 104 00:04:17,116 --> 00:04:18,350 Okay, ladies. 105 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,450 Now, today's field trip, 106 00:04:20,483 --> 00:04:24,233 we're going to my grandma's retirement home, 107 00:04:24,266 --> 00:04:28,250 and you're each going to adopt your very own grandma. 108 00:04:28,283 --> 00:04:30,150 What's the pink tissue for? 109 00:04:30,183 --> 00:04:32,266 Oh, give that to your grandma. 110 00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:34,283 It makes a lovely wrist and brassiere strap ornament. 111 00:04:39,466 --> 00:04:42,116 Nanny Fine, you are not going to make 112 00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:44,133 those decrepit old ladies feel any younger 113 00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:47,333 by bringing in these vibrant, wrinkle-free girls. 114 00:04:47,366 --> 00:04:48,250 This is notCocoon. 115 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,466 Well, how would you feel if you were alone and forgotten, 116 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:54,433 without any friends? 117 00:04:56,183 --> 00:04:57,300 Oh, bad example. 118 00:05:01,233 --> 00:05:04,200 I know when I'm old, I'd rather be in a dark room 119 00:05:04,233 --> 00:05:06,116 with the drapes drawn, the mirrors covered 120 00:05:06,150 --> 00:05:07,233 and a really big bottle of NyQuil. 121 00:05:09,266 --> 00:05:11,266 Not me. 122 00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:14,433 I'm gonna be a platinum-blond prune down in Miami, 123 00:05:14,466 --> 00:05:16,366 just pulling up my tube top 124 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,116 and cha-cha-cha-in' with the cabana boys. 125 00:05:20,333 --> 00:05:22,316 I'd rather die young. 126 00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:23,333 And we're all pulling for you. 127 00:05:31,150 --> 00:05:33,160 We don't go young in my family. 128 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,416 No, we Fines like to linger 129 00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:35,466 and be a burden to others 130 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:36,366 for as long as possible. 131 00:05:42,350 --> 00:05:44,316 FRAN: Okay, Red Robins, 132 00:05:44,350 --> 00:05:46,433 now, remember your manners - no loud noises, 133 00:05:46,466 --> 00:05:48,183 and whatever you do, don't unplug anything. 134 00:05:50,383 --> 00:05:52,433 Cupcakes, tissues - okay, go find your grandmas 135 00:05:52,466 --> 00:05:53,266 and introduce yourselves. 136 00:05:54,433 --> 00:05:56,116 Hi, Grandma Yetta. 137 00:05:57,166 --> 00:05:58,466 Mwah! 138 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,660 Boy, are you a big Robin. 139 00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:02,300 What, were you left back? 140 00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:04,366 Yetta, it's Fran. 141 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,366 Fran? 142 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,350 Where's Kukla and Ollie? 143 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:12,500 Yetta, if you're gonna live in the past, 144 00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:15,316 pick the Renaissance. 145 00:06:15,316 --> 00:06:17,500 Why didn't you sign up for a Red Robin 146 00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:18,183 like everybody else? 147 00:06:18,216 --> 00:06:19,183 I'm not a joiner. 148 00:06:21,233 --> 00:06:23,133 Look at them, staring atJeopardy! 149 00:06:23,166 --> 00:06:24,830 like they know... -[BELL DINGS ON TV] 150 00:06:24,116 --> 00:06:25,400 ...European monarchs for 500. 151 00:06:28,416 --> 00:06:29,433 Most of them can't remember their room number. 152 00:06:32,150 --> 00:06:34,366 Oh, Gracie, honey, 153 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,200 why aren't you talking to your new grandma? 154 00:06:36,233 --> 00:06:38,233 Mrs. Kramer wasn't in her room. 155 00:06:38,266 --> 00:06:40,200 They said she checked out. 156 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,830 Maybe she moved to Florida. 157 00:06:42,116 --> 00:06:43,316 No, they said she bought a farm. 158 00:06:46,483 --> 00:06:48,300 Farm? The woman couldn't grow a wart. 159 00:06:51,433 --> 00:06:54,383 Well, maybe she was going to the well tokick the bucket. 160 00:06:54,416 --> 00:06:57,150 Oh, you don't have to paint me a picture. 161 00:07:00,233 --> 00:07:02,366 Gracie, sweetie, the grandma that was assigned to you 162 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,233 passed away. 163 00:07:04,266 --> 00:07:07,160 Oh. Can I eat her cupcake? 164 00:07:08,450 --> 00:07:10,233 Sure, sweetie. 165 00:07:10,266 --> 00:07:12,000 Kids are so resilient. 166 00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:13,416 Honey, I'm so sorry. 167 00:07:13,450 --> 00:07:16,400 You were definitely supposed to get a live one. 168 00:07:16,433 --> 00:07:19,166 Fran, Kramer's room was on a corner. 169 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:20,500 That's cross-ventilation, Yetta. 170 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,333 Has anyone moved in yet? 171 00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:31,133 ALL: Bye. 172 00:07:31,166 --> 00:07:33,250 Bye, my beautiful Red Robins. 173 00:07:33,283 --> 00:07:36,216 Fly. Fly. 174 00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:37,366 Fly... 175 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:39,483 the hell outta here. 176 00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:46,100 I am guessing the field trip was less than a total success, 177 00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,350 considering there was a body count. 178 00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:49,416 [HIGH-PITCHED GROAN] 179 00:07:49,450 --> 00:07:52,216 Fran, I don't wanna be a Red Robin anymore. 180 00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:54,300 Oh, come on, honey. 181 00:07:54,333 --> 00:07:56,200 One old lady dies on you 182 00:07:56,233 --> 00:07:57,383 and you're already turned off 183 00:07:57,416 --> 00:07:59,266 to the whole Red Robin experience? 184 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:02,166 [DOORBELL DINGS] 185 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,283 [SHOUTS] I'll get it. 186 00:08:04,316 --> 00:08:07,233 Sit down and relax. We'll watchCourt TV. 187 00:08:07,266 --> 00:08:08,216 Uh, who's on? 188 00:08:08,250 --> 00:08:10,830 The Menendez boys. 189 00:08:10,116 --> 00:08:11,183 They're back for a second season. 190 00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,133 Hello, I'm Mrs. Livingston, Heather's mother. 191 00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:20,250 Oh, come in. 192 00:08:20,283 --> 00:08:22,133 Is that Heather with the freckles 193 00:08:22,166 --> 00:08:25,830 or Heather with the extra pinkie? 194 00:08:25,116 --> 00:08:29,830 Oh, it's a real treat watching her sip tea. 195 00:08:29,116 --> 00:08:30,366 Miss Fine, this is a little awkward. 196 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,830 We're making a change in our domestic staff, 197 00:08:33,116 --> 00:08:36,233 and the kids all say such great things about the Sheffield home. 198 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:39,350 Well, in the short year that I've been here, 199 00:08:39,383 --> 00:08:42,233 I have added a certain element of style 200 00:08:42,266 --> 00:08:44,400 and panache to this house. 201 00:08:44,433 --> 00:08:46,330 Hm. When did I eat corn? 202 00:08:48,433 --> 00:08:51,183 Miss Fine, let me finish. 203 00:08:51,216 --> 00:08:54,660 No, it's very flattering, but I can't even consider it. 204 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,660 Even if you doubled my salary 205 00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:58,500 and offered me an El Dorado 206 00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,416 in the Bill Blass color scheme... 207 00:09:00,416 --> 00:09:02,160 I'd have to turn you down. 208 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,660 Who'd pay the insurance? 209 00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:07,660 Not you, Miss Fine. Niles. 210 00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:09,466 Niles would pay my insurance? 211 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,830 No, we want Niles. 212 00:09:13,116 --> 00:09:15,233 Could you just find out for us if he's happy here? 213 00:09:15,266 --> 00:09:19,216 Oh. Well, what is it, that fancy English accent? 214 00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:21,160 'Cause, if I wanted to, I could talk with an accent too. 215 00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:32,100 What was wrong with the blouse I picked out for Fran? 216 00:09:32,133 --> 00:09:34,450 Oh, no. It was cheap and incredibly tacky. 217 00:09:34,483 --> 00:09:35,416 You could see right through it. 218 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:38,466 And what's the downside of that? 219 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,500 I wanna get her something she doesn't already have. 220 00:09:42,183 --> 00:09:44,100 Hi, kids. 221 00:09:44,133 --> 00:09:45,450 Fran, if you were... 222 00:09:45,483 --> 00:09:48,500 Uh... Mark? 223 00:09:48,830 --> 00:09:50,383 BOTH: Yeah, Mark. 224 00:09:50,416 --> 00:09:53,160 Um, would you like a pair of earrings? 225 00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:56,100 Oh, I think Mark would love the earrings. 226 00:09:56,133 --> 00:09:58,150 Just make sure they're clip-ons. 227 00:09:58,183 --> 00:10:00,216 Mark doesn't have pierced ears? 228 00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:01,466 No, his lobes are too fatty. 229 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:02,366 It runs in his family. 230 00:10:06,216 --> 00:10:09,283 [KNOCKING] Mr. Sheffield, I hope I'm not bothering 231 00:10:09,316 --> 00:10:10,483 like you're talking to some caterer about something-- 232 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:11,416 Shrimp cocktail, rumaki. 233 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,116 Miss Fine, we're in a bit of a crunch here. 234 00:10:15,150 --> 00:10:16,216 Do you have anything to say 235 00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,000 that's even remotely comprehensible? 236 00:10:18,330 --> 00:10:19,400 Oh, all right, all right. 237 00:10:19,433 --> 00:10:20,300 But I did want to tell you this in private. 238 00:10:21,433 --> 00:10:24,330 Follow my eyes? 239 00:10:24,660 --> 00:10:25,000 What, you don't want to talk in front of the lamp? 240 00:10:27,830 --> 00:10:28,400 Wha--? Oh, Niles! 241 00:10:28,433 --> 00:10:30,300 Oh, you can speak freely in front of him. 242 00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:32,183 We have no secrets in this house. 243 00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:33,300 That's because he listens at the door. 244 00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:38,330 How else would I hear you scratching to get back in? 245 00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:46,300 Well, someone is trying to hire away 246 00:10:46,333 --> 00:10:50,000 one of your most valued domestic employees. 247 00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:53,000 Niles? - Well, I didn't say that, but, yeah, Niles. 248 00:10:53,330 --> 00:10:54,433 How'd you guess? 249 00:10:54,466 --> 00:10:56,233 Well, scarcely a day goes by 250 00:10:56,266 --> 00:10:57,300 when I don't get a telephone call 251 00:10:57,333 --> 00:10:59,660 requesting Niles. 252 00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:01,500 An employee of his skills and breeding 253 00:11:01,830 --> 00:11:02,300 is always in demand. 254 00:11:02,333 --> 00:11:03,233 I'm hot. 255 00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:08,416 Well, next time you get one of those calls for me, 256 00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:10,200 you just tell them I'm not interested. 257 00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:11,483 [BOTH CHUCKLING] 258 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:15,483 Wi-- will do, Miss Fine. [NILES CHUCKLES] 259 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,150 What's so funny? - Uh, uh, nothing. 260 00:11:18,183 --> 00:11:20,283 No one ever calls for me? 261 00:11:20,316 --> 00:11:22,183 Well, actually, there was one. 262 00:11:22,216 --> 00:11:24,483 See? Your mother. 263 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:29,250 Um, "Clairol's, uh, Loving Care gives better coverage." 264 00:11:29,283 --> 00:11:30,830 What's she telling me that for? 265 00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:35,330 Nanny Fine, I don't want to be rude-- 266 00:11:35,660 --> 00:11:36,333 Hmm, since when? You're right. 267 00:11:36,366 --> 00:11:38,450 Get out. 268 00:11:38,483 --> 00:11:40,166 We need to talk about Saturday night. 269 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,150 What time do you want me here? - She's coming? 270 00:11:42,183 --> 00:11:45,330 Oh, we're gonna have to talk about this guest list. 271 00:11:45,660 --> 00:11:46,333 Well, of course Miss Babcock's coming. 272 00:11:46,366 --> 00:11:48,150 She made all the arrangements. 273 00:11:48,183 --> 00:11:51,450 Oh, boy, did I have you pegged all wrong. 274 00:11:51,483 --> 00:11:53,250 Isn't it the people you hate on sight 275 00:11:53,283 --> 00:11:54,266 that become your lifelong friends. 276 00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:56,383 Not always. 277 00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:00,383 Maxwell, the limousine will pick us up 278 00:12:00,416 --> 00:12:01,450 at the airport in Washington. 279 00:12:01,483 --> 00:12:03,416 Mm-hm. Washington? 280 00:12:03,450 --> 00:12:06,333 Yes, well, you may as well know, 281 00:12:06,366 --> 00:12:08,450 the Center for Performing Arts has nominated us 282 00:12:08,483 --> 00:12:10,483 for its highest award. 283 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,350 Is that what you wanted me for on Saturday night, 284 00:12:13,383 --> 00:12:15,333 to babysit? 285 00:12:15,366 --> 00:12:16,450 No, we wanted you to fly the jet. 286 00:12:19,433 --> 00:12:22,116 Miss Fine, I didn't say anything to you before 287 00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:24,366 about the nomination because, mm, bad luck, you know. 288 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,500 We've been overlooked so many times before. 289 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,500 You've been overlooked? 290 00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:30,183 Is there a problem, Miss Fine? 291 00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:31,450 D-do you have plans Saturday night? 292 00:12:31,483 --> 00:12:34,330 Oh, yeah, I'm gonna heat up a Lean Cuisine 293 00:12:34,660 --> 00:12:35,450 and see what kind of frontiermishegaas 294 00:12:35,483 --> 00:12:37,000 Dr. Quinn has gotten herself into. 295 00:12:50,366 --> 00:12:53,350 Gracie, you're gonna love your new grandma, Mrs. Klein. 296 00:12:53,383 --> 00:12:56,166 Now, do you remember what I told you to ask her? 297 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,500 Is she related to Calvin, and can we get a discount? 298 00:12:59,316 --> 00:13:00,350 Excellent. 299 00:13:00,383 --> 00:13:02,250 Good morning. 300 00:13:02,283 --> 00:13:03,450 How are you two ladies doing today? 301 00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,133 Fine, Daddy. 302 00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:07,100 [MUTTERS] Yeah, been better. 303 00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:09,100 Is everything... everything all right, Miss Fine? 304 00:13:09,133 --> 00:13:12,500 [MUMBLES NONSENSE WORDS] 305 00:13:12,830 --> 00:13:14,166 Miss Fine, is there something bothering you? 306 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,383 No, what could possibly be bothering me? 307 00:13:16,416 --> 00:13:18,400 [UNDER BREATH] I'm a fool and a laughing stock. 308 00:13:18,433 --> 00:13:22,133 I beg your pardon? - N-nothing. 309 00:13:22,166 --> 00:13:24,266 Miss Fine, you've barely spoken a word to me in 12 hours. 310 00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:26,383 It's beginning to scare me. 311 00:13:26,416 --> 00:13:29,166 I have no idea what you're talking about. 312 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,150 [UNDER BREATH] I invited my mother. I'll never hear the end of it. 313 00:13:30,183 --> 00:13:31,350 Come on, Gracie. 314 00:13:31,383 --> 00:13:33,383 Miss Fine, you are not leaving this house 315 00:13:33,416 --> 00:13:35,100 until I know why you're so upset with me. 316 00:13:35,133 --> 00:13:37,300 I'm not upset with you. 317 00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:40,330 You're the best boss anyone could possibly ask for. 318 00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:50,350 [UNDER BREATH] Eat tripe and die. 319 00:13:50,350 --> 00:13:54,160 Now, Gracie, I had Mrs. Klein thoroughly checked out. 320 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,483 She's cute, she's sweet, and she's healthy as a horse. 321 00:14:00,433 --> 00:14:03,233 You know, she holds the retirement home record 322 00:14:03,266 --> 00:14:05,660 for most reps on the thigh burner... 323 00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,216 one. 324 00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:12,483 Oh, Grandma Yetta! 325 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,200 We're here to introduce Gracie 326 00:14:14,233 --> 00:14:16,500 to her new grandma, Mrs. Klein. 327 00:14:16,830 --> 00:14:17,216 Oh, yeah? 328 00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:18,383 Well, if you want to talk to her, 329 00:14:18,416 --> 00:14:19,333 you're gonna need a Ouija board. 330 00:14:22,266 --> 00:14:23,433 She never should have gone for that second rep. 331 00:14:26,830 --> 00:14:28,116 Another one? 332 00:14:28,150 --> 00:14:31,116 What if it's me? What if I'm a jinx? 333 00:14:31,150 --> 00:14:33,183 Oh, no, honey. 334 00:14:33,216 --> 00:14:36,216 Now, that is just ridiculous. 335 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,450 There's no such thing. 336 00:14:37,483 --> 00:14:38,216 Toi, toi. 337 00:14:41,133 --> 00:14:43,660 People here are old and sick. 338 00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:45,400 They can go at any time, in the next minute. 339 00:14:45,433 --> 00:14:47,166 Would you go cheer somebody else up. 340 00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:52,150 Sweetie, you're an adorable little girl, 341 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:54,300 and anyone would love to be your grandma, right? 342 00:15:02,233 --> 00:15:04,166 You're not a jinx! 343 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,000 And just to prove it to you, 344 00:15:06,330 --> 00:15:08,150 I'm gonna give you my very own grandma. 345 00:15:09,383 --> 00:15:10,150 Yetta! 346 00:15:12,266 --> 00:15:13,483 Damn crepe soles stick like gum. 347 00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:20,183 Honey, I'd love to be your grandma. 348 00:15:21,433 --> 00:15:22,366 I've lived a good life. 349 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,433 So then she said that Heather was a liar, 350 00:15:28,466 --> 00:15:29,350 so thenHeather 351 00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:32,250 No, wait... 352 00:15:32,283 --> 00:15:34,660 Oh, yeah. 353 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,350 No, wait... O-oh, yeah. 354 00:15:36,383 --> 00:15:37,216 Let's start again. 355 00:15:39,233 --> 00:15:41,100 See, honey, you're not a jinx 356 00:15:41,133 --> 00:15:42,166 because I'm not dead. 357 00:15:43,383 --> 00:15:44,450 And I wish I was. 358 00:15:47,466 --> 00:15:49,830 Uh, honey, why don't we play some hide-and-go-seek. 359 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,383 Okay, I'll hide. 360 00:15:51,416 --> 00:15:52,183 Good choice, sweetie. 361 00:15:55,116 --> 00:15:57,133 So what's the matter? 362 00:15:57,166 --> 00:15:59,333 Who said anything was the matter? 363 00:15:59,366 --> 00:16:01,830 Franny, I know you like the back of my hand. 364 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:04,216 Jeez, I never noticed that before. 365 00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:09,466 So anyway, what is it - man trouble? 366 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,233 Well, how could he not know what's bothering me? 367 00:16:13,266 --> 00:16:15,416 I know. It's because I'm like all the Fine women. 368 00:16:15,450 --> 00:16:19,330 We're just too damn subtle. 369 00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:22,133 It's a waste of time talking to men. 370 00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:24,100 First of all, they aren't that interesting. 371 00:16:27,166 --> 00:16:29,283 Sixty-two years I was married to your grandfather, 372 00:16:29,316 --> 00:16:32,000 we didn't say two words. 373 00:16:32,330 --> 00:16:35,660 The man had no communication skills. 374 00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,200 That's true. 375 00:16:36,233 --> 00:16:38,500 If only he'd been able to say, 376 00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:40,660 "I'm choking on a chicken bone," he'd be alive today. 377 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:40,416 Yeah. 378 00:16:43,116 --> 00:16:45,250 So what is it? Your sex life stinks? 379 00:16:45,283 --> 00:16:47,483 Grandma, he doesn't sleep with me. 380 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,830 Not even on your birthday? 381 00:16:50,116 --> 00:16:51,350 No. 382 00:16:51,383 --> 00:16:54,830 That's a bad marriage. 383 00:16:54,116 --> 00:16:56,283 We're not married. 384 00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,483 Oy, look at me, I'm hanging on every word, 385 00:16:58,160 --> 00:16:58,300 like I'm talking to Yoda. 386 00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,150 [MOUTHS SILENTLY] 387 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,150 [CONTINUES MOUTHING SILENTLY] 388 00:17:16,183 --> 00:17:18,500 [SIGHS] May I help you, sir? 389 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:19,133 Oh, that's all right, Niles. 390 00:17:19,166 --> 00:17:21,133 I'm just counting forward 28 days 391 00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:23,216 from the last time Miss Fine seemed to hate my guts 392 00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:25,416 for no apparent reason. 393 00:17:25,450 --> 00:17:27,333 No, that'll be next week. 394 00:17:27,366 --> 00:17:30,100 Hm, something to look forward to, sir. 395 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:33,433 C.C., maybe you can shed some light on this. 396 00:17:33,466 --> 00:17:35,500 I mean, you're a woman. 397 00:17:35,830 --> 00:17:36,350 I'm still waiting for the DNA results. 398 00:17:40,366 --> 00:17:42,366 You men just don't get it. 399 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,150 She doesn't hate you, it's her life! 400 00:17:45,183 --> 00:17:47,333 She doesn't have a boyfriend. 401 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:50,300 She has a dead-end job with no prospects, 402 00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:53,166 she's working for a man who hardly knows she's alive. 403 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,330 Her own dog hates her. 404 00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:58,116 A blind date stole her stereo. 405 00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:02,400 Who was I talking about again? 406 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,266 Think back, sir. 407 00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:08,316 One year ago today, 408 00:18:08,350 --> 00:18:11,330 someone's spike heel dug its first divot 409 00:18:11,660 --> 00:18:14,000 into the parquet floor. 410 00:18:14,330 --> 00:18:15,333 I thought you were gonna get that fixed. 411 00:18:15,366 --> 00:18:18,166 Come closer. 412 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:22,160 One year to the day since we first learned. 413 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:23,416 "If it ain't half off, it ain't on sale." 414 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:27,400 Would you just--? 415 00:18:27,433 --> 00:18:28,330 Would you just get to the point, old man. 416 00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:30,316 Work with me, sir. 417 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,450 It's her anniversary. 418 00:18:34,483 --> 00:18:38,366 Oh, Niles, don't be preposterous. 419 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,216 I mean, you've been working here forever, 420 00:18:40,250 --> 00:18:42,266 and I haven't the faintest idea when you started. 421 00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:44,250 And you don't go off all half-cocked. 422 00:18:44,283 --> 00:18:45,416 I keep the hurt inside, sir. 423 00:18:49,483 --> 00:18:52,466 You also forget my birthday. I suppose that's all right too. 424 00:18:55,166 --> 00:18:57,316 Come on, Niles. 425 00:18:57,350 --> 00:18:58,383 Are you seriously telling me 426 00:18:58,416 --> 00:19:00,333 that Miss Fine is the type of person 427 00:19:00,366 --> 00:19:02,133 to hold it over my head just because I simp-- 428 00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:07,100 Oh, God, is it too late to send flowers? 429 00:19:07,133 --> 00:19:09,466 Maxwell, have you lost your mind? 430 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,160 She is the nanny! 431 00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:14,160 I have been your partner for 10 years, 432 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:15,150 and we've never celebrated a damn thing. 433 00:19:17,660 --> 00:19:23,450 Get it? 434 00:19:23,450 --> 00:19:24,366 [CLEARS THROAT] Perhaps I can still pick something up 435 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,660 at Bloomingdale's. 436 00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:28,166 Maxwell, we have to get to the airport. 437 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,366 You are not gonna miss this ceremony. 438 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,433 I can't walk down the aisle alone! 439 00:19:32,466 --> 00:19:33,466 I say, prepare for the inevitable. 440 00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:45,283 Kids, hurry up! 441 00:19:45,316 --> 00:19:47,660 Your father's on... 442 00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:49,300 and he won! 443 00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:50,283 [MUTTERS] I hope his fly is open. 444 00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:55,300 Oh, doesn't daddy look handsome? 445 00:19:55,333 --> 00:19:56,466 [MUTTERS] Hmmm, no Pierce Brosnan. 446 00:19:58,366 --> 00:20:00,333 Oh, there's C.C. 447 00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:03,160 Oh, my. The camera does put on 10 pounds. 448 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,166 It just doesn't distribute it. 449 00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:13,830 Um, I'd like to thank 450 00:20:13,116 --> 00:20:14,350 the Center for the Performing Arts 451 00:20:14,383 --> 00:20:17,233 for this most gracious recognition, 452 00:20:17,266 --> 00:20:20,166 and I'd like to thank my three wonderful children, 453 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:23,166 and a very special thanks to the woman 454 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:26,160 without whose help I wouldn't be here tonight... 455 00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:27,660 Miss Fran Fine. 456 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:31,500 Oh. 457 00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:32,216 Happy anniversary, Miss Fine. 458 00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:37,116 C.C. fainted! 459 00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:40,383 Oh, my God. 460 00:20:40,416 --> 00:20:42,133 And that, ladies, 461 00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:43,333 is why you must always wear your underwear. 462 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,330 Oh, congratulations, sir. Thank you. 463 00:20:53,660 --> 00:20:55,166 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, 464 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:59,383 that was so sweet of you to mention my anniversary. 465 00:20:59,416 --> 00:21:01,433 But, you know, you really didn't have to. 466 00:21:01,466 --> 00:21:03,433 I mean, those things aren't important to me. 467 00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:08,350 Well, they are important to me. 468 00:21:08,383 --> 00:21:10,300 It's been a marvelous year, Miss Fine, 469 00:21:10,333 --> 00:21:11,483 and you are a wonderful nanny, 470 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,350 and I'm sorry if I don't say it enough. 471 00:21:13,383 --> 00:21:15,483 Oh, well, if I'm so wonderful, 472 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:17,183 how come nobody wants to hire me away? 473 00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:19,300 Oh, well, that? 474 00:21:19,333 --> 00:21:21,660 Yeah. Well, there-- 475 00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:23,166 There's a very simple explanation to that. 476 00:21:25,216 --> 00:21:28,116 As a matter of fact, it's so simple 477 00:21:28,150 --> 00:21:30,250 that explaining it to you 478 00:21:30,283 --> 00:21:31,200 would really be rather insulting. 479 00:21:31,233 --> 00:21:32,200 [SHE CHUCKLES] 480 00:21:32,233 --> 00:21:33,133 Go ahead. 481 00:21:35,466 --> 00:21:38,350 Um, well... 482 00:21:38,383 --> 00:21:39,366 Well, the reason that you haven't had 483 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,233 any other job offers is-- 484 00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:43,160 Is simply because, uh... 485 00:21:45,416 --> 00:21:47,400 Niles, is there any more tea? 486 00:21:47,433 --> 00:21:49,116 I'll go to China and see. 487 00:21:56,150 --> 00:21:56,483 Hi. 488 00:22:00,250 --> 00:22:03,300 Well, just look at you, Miss Fine. 489 00:22:03,333 --> 00:22:05,383 I-I mean-- I mean, I am a single father, 490 00:22:05,416 --> 00:22:08,366 but what married woman in her right mind 491 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,316 would want someone as attractive as you 492 00:22:10,350 --> 00:22:12,160 in her home right under her husband's nose? 493 00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:17,433 Mmm, well... 494 00:22:17,466 --> 00:22:18,300 [CHUCKLES] Now that you mention it. 495 00:22:21,283 --> 00:22:22,350 Well, when you're right, you're right. 496 00:22:24,316 --> 00:22:26,200 Goodnight, Mr. Sheffield, Niles. 497 00:22:26,233 --> 00:22:28,333 NILES: Good night, Miss Fine. 498 00:22:28,366 --> 00:22:31,350 Nice, save, sir. - Whew, thanks, Niles. 499 00:22:31,383 --> 00:22:32,466 I came up with that at the last minute. [CHUCKLES] 500 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,366 I heard that! 501 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:56,160 Brighton! [GLASS SHATTERS] 502 00:22:59,316 --> 00:23:08,100 [HUMS "PUT ON A HAPPY FACE"] 503 00:23:08,133 --> 00:23:10,366 [HUMS "PUT ON A HAPPY FACE"] ♪Wha-wha, wha-wha-wha, whaa 504 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:17,116 [HE CONTINUES HUMMING] 505 00:23:17,150 --> 00:23:18,350 [HUMS JAUNTILY] ♪De-de-de, de-de-de-de, de-de ♪ 506 00:23:18,383 --> 00:23:19,266 ♪De-de, de-de-de-de ♪