1 00:00:03,350 --> 00:00:05,100 Morning, Niles. 2 00:00:07,433 --> 00:00:10,300 God save the queen. 3 00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:12,660 I don't look too much like a roll of Lifesavers? 4 00:00:14,330 --> 00:00:15,483 Yes, but the flavor goes on and on. 5 00:00:18,133 --> 00:00:22,283 Oh, Niles, it's always the quiet ones. 6 00:00:22,316 --> 00:00:25,200 I wanna wear this to Mr. Sheffield's big opening night, 7 00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:27,160 but I gotta practice sitting in it. 8 00:00:29,383 --> 00:00:30,283 Whoa! 9 00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,333 That looks natural. 10 00:00:35,366 --> 00:00:36,433 Well, maybe if I sat on the aisle? 11 00:00:38,333 --> 00:00:41,283 Oh. Oh, thanks. 12 00:00:41,316 --> 00:00:45,133 Well, here it is, a full-page ad in today's paper. 13 00:00:45,166 --> 00:00:48,116 "Opening tonight,Norma, a musical adaptation 14 00:00:48,150 --> 00:00:50,216 ofNorma Rae, produced by Maxwell Sheffield 15 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,466 and C.C.Boobcock"? 16 00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:55,433 "Boobcock"? 17 00:00:55,466 --> 00:00:58,283 I proofread this ad copy myself, and then I gave it to Niles 18 00:00:58,316 --> 00:00:58,400 to send to the messen... 19 00:01:00,433 --> 00:01:02,166 ...ger. 20 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,366 Oh, how embarrassing. 21 00:01:06,660 --> 00:01:07,450 Someone at that ad agency must have it in for you. 22 00:01:11,150 --> 00:01:14,200 Oh, who would've thought that I would love a musical 23 00:01:14,233 --> 00:01:18,000 about a union organizer sorely in need of dress shields? 24 00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,466 But I'll tell ya, I'm still humming the sweat-shop number. 25 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:21,333 Mm-hm. 26 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,166 So, Niles, you haven't told me 27 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,433 what you thought of the preview, hmm? 28 00:01:26,466 --> 00:01:28,416 Oh, it was wonderful, sir. 29 00:01:28,450 --> 00:01:30,200 Those three hours and 15 minutes flew by 30 00:01:30,233 --> 00:01:31,116 like three hours and 10. 31 00:01:33,333 --> 00:01:34,466 Yes, and what a novel idea not to have an intermission. 32 00:01:38,116 --> 00:01:40,830 Yes, thank you. I'm very proud of the show. 33 00:01:40,116 --> 00:01:42,183 Well, you should be. 34 00:01:42,216 --> 00:01:44,416 I know my whole family is gonna see it. 35 00:01:44,450 --> 00:01:47,150 We're union workers from way back. 36 00:01:47,183 --> 00:01:49,160 My aunt Tessie was "or blouse." 37 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:50,416 What's "or blouse"? 38 00:01:50,450 --> 00:01:53,000 You know, from the commercial. 39 00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:56,333 ♪ Look for the union label ♪ 40 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:59,330 ♪ When you are buying a coat Dress or blouse ♪ 41 00:02:01,450 --> 00:02:04,400 Yes, well, let's all break a leg tonight, shall we? 42 00:02:04,433 --> 00:02:07,450 Oh, you won't need luck, Mr. Sheffield, 43 00:02:07,483 --> 00:02:10,116 not with the hit play you've got on your hands, Mister. 44 00:02:12,830 --> 00:02:13,400 [SMOOCHES] 45 00:02:15,283 --> 00:02:17,250 Niles, I'm not kissing up. 46 00:02:17,283 --> 00:02:19,250 It's a very important play. 47 00:02:19,283 --> 00:02:20,400 If I don't sit through it again, 48 00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:21,233 how am I gonna get to the party? 49 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,416 Come on. Don't you wanna hobnob with celebrities? 50 00:02:25,450 --> 00:02:27,283 Miss Fine, I've been to scores of these, 51 00:02:27,316 --> 00:02:29,350 and as yet no one has hobbed my nobs. 52 00:02:32,266 --> 00:02:34,200 Well, maybe you should try 53 00:02:34,233 --> 00:02:35,200 wearing something a little more low-cut. 54 00:02:37,266 --> 00:02:40,283 [THEME SONG PLAYS] 55 00:02:40,316 --> 00:02:41,450 ♪ She was workin' In a bridal shop ♪ 56 00:02:41,483 --> 00:02:43,183 ♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪ 57 00:02:43,216 --> 00:02:44,283 ♪ Till her boyfriend Kicked her out ♪ 58 00:02:44,316 --> 00:02:46,150 ♪ In one of those Crushing scenes ♪ 59 00:02:46,183 --> 00:02:47,483 ♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪ 60 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:51,100 ♪ She was out on her fanny ♪ 61 00:02:51,133 --> 00:02:52,366 ♪ So over the bridge From Flushing ♪ 62 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,266 ♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪ 63 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:56,383 ♪ She was there to sell makeup But the father saw more ♪ 64 00:02:56,416 --> 00:02:58,316 ♪ She had style, she had flair She was there ♪ 65 00:02:58,350 --> 00:03:02,350 ♪ That's how she became The nanny ♪ 66 00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:05,233 ♪ Who would have guessed That the girl we described ♪ 67 00:03:05,266 --> 00:03:07,383 ♪ Was just exactly what The doctor prescribed? ♪ 68 00:03:07,416 --> 00:03:08,366 ♪ Now the father Finds her beguiling ♪ 69 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,133 ♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪ 70 00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:11,200 ♪ And the kids Are actually smiling ♪ 71 00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,366 ♪ Such joie de vivre ♪ 72 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,133 ♪ She's the lady in red ♪ 73 00:03:14,166 --> 00:03:17,160 ♪ When everybody else Is wearing tan ♪ 74 00:03:18,433 --> 00:03:20,250 ♪ The flashy girl From Flushing ♪ 75 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:21,116 ♪ The nanny named Fran ♪ 76 00:03:24,333 --> 00:03:25,183 Fran, what do you think about this one? 77 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:34,100 Oh, honey, that is entirely too revealing. 78 00:03:34,133 --> 00:03:36,133 No, no, no. It makes you look cheap and tawdry. 79 00:03:36,166 --> 00:03:37,350 Go put it back in my closet. 80 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:43,383 Fran, Brighton says he can see up my dress 81 00:03:43,416 --> 00:03:45,366 when I wear my Mary Janes. 82 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,500 Oh, sweetie, don't listen to him. 83 00:03:48,830 --> 00:03:51,200 They make you look very leggy. 84 00:03:51,233 --> 00:03:53,250 Oh, I see you're wearing the new Barbie underpants I bought you. 85 00:03:53,283 --> 00:03:55,133 [SCREAMS] 86 00:03:59,316 --> 00:04:01,500 Say, Fran, could I go to that new mall in Jersey 87 00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:02,200 with Kyle and a couple of guys? 88 00:04:02,233 --> 00:04:04,660 Which Kyle? The one with the braces 89 00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:05,433 or the one that smells like cheese? 90 00:04:05,466 --> 00:04:07,216 Uh, cheese. 91 00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:08,216 Oh, good. The other one's weird. 92 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:11,100 How you gonna get there? 93 00:04:11,133 --> 00:04:12,366 His brother's driving. 94 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,160 How long has he had his license? 95 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:15,116 A while. 96 00:04:15,150 --> 00:04:17,383 A while, "10 years," 97 00:04:17,416 --> 00:04:19,250 or a while, "he still looks like the picture on his license"? 98 00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:23,116 Oh, B, I don't think so. 99 00:04:23,150 --> 00:04:25,830 I don't want you getting into a car 100 00:04:25,116 --> 00:04:28,333 with a bunch of boys that just drive fast and act fresh, 101 00:04:28,366 --> 00:04:30,166 and then the next thing you know, 102 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,133 you're hitchhiking on the Jersey turnpike 103 00:04:32,166 --> 00:04:33,183 wearing much too much makeup for your age-- Oh. 104 00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:42,330 I'm having a hypoglycemic attack. 105 00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:44,216 I better have a Godiva. 106 00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:49,150 Oh, cheer up, honey. 107 00:04:49,183 --> 00:04:51,183 Hey, I've been to that mall. 108 00:04:51,216 --> 00:04:52,283 They don't even have a Judy's there. 109 00:04:55,233 --> 00:04:57,400 Besides, tonight's your father's big opening night. 110 00:04:57,433 --> 00:04:59,233 What if you got stuck in traffic? 111 00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:00,316 Then you'd miss the whole thing. 112 00:05:00,350 --> 00:05:01,366 I'm not that lucky. 113 00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:06,400 Hm...nougat. 114 00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:18,433 Say, Dad, could I go to the mall with Kyle? 115 00:05:18,466 --> 00:05:21,150 Well, I don't know. What does Miss Fine say? 116 00:05:21,183 --> 00:05:24,366 Well, you see, she was kind of leaning towards no. 117 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,133 But between you and me, 118 00:05:26,166 --> 00:05:28,183 I think she's just a little overprotective. 119 00:05:28,216 --> 00:05:29,433 Which is fine for the girls, 120 00:05:29,466 --> 00:05:31,200 but sometimes a man needs to get away. 121 00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,660 Maxwell... 122 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,160 I know what you mean. 123 00:05:37,330 --> 00:05:38,250 Well, all right. Off you go, huh? 124 00:05:38,283 --> 00:05:39,100 Have fun. 125 00:05:41,316 --> 00:05:42,266 Yesss! 126 00:05:46,233 --> 00:05:48,400 ♪ --terday ♪ 127 00:05:48,433 --> 00:05:52,350 ♪ All my troubles Seemed so far away ♪ 128 00:05:52,383 --> 00:05:57,660 ♪ Now it looks as though They're here to stay ♪ 129 00:05:57,100 --> 00:06:02,233 Well, the good news is, B, I'm usually a very fair nanny. 130 00:06:02,266 --> 00:06:04,283 The bad news is, 131 00:06:04,316 --> 00:06:06,500 it's the 28th day of the month. 132 00:06:12,133 --> 00:06:14,383 Niles, how long are you gonna polish that couch? 133 00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:15,450 The fumes are rather overwhelming. 134 00:06:18,330 --> 00:06:19,150 After a while, you don't notice them, sir. 135 00:06:21,433 --> 00:06:22,266 Hmm. 136 00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:27,366 Oh, I couldn't resist the infomercial. 137 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,250 "Unwanted dirt just slides right off." 138 00:06:39,416 --> 00:06:40,316 Voilà! 139 00:06:45,133 --> 00:06:46,383 Cheers. Must be five 'clock somewhere. 140 00:06:48,433 --> 00:06:51,160 I haven't been drinking, Nanny Fine. 141 00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:53,500 I just... slid off the couch. 142 00:06:55,166 --> 00:06:57,316 And Ted Kennedy's nose is just sun-damaged. 143 00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:01,116 Mr. Sheffield, you got a second? 144 00:07:01,150 --> 00:07:03,660 Yes. Well, Brighton-- 145 00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:05,466 Whoops! Time's up. Goodbye, Nanny Fine. 146 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,330 Oh, you're in a good mood. 147 00:07:08,660 --> 00:07:09,450 Well, I'll take care of that. 148 00:07:09,483 --> 00:07:12,216 Well, this sounds like a must-miss. 149 00:07:12,250 --> 00:07:14,216 I have to pick up my dress from the cleaners anyway. 150 00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:15,283 C.C.: Ooh! 151 00:07:15,316 --> 00:07:16,316 [LOUD THUD] 152 00:07:19,316 --> 00:07:21,000 It's also an excellent floor polish. 153 00:07:24,150 --> 00:07:25,200 All right, Miss Fine, 154 00:07:25,233 --> 00:07:27,166 what's all this about Brighton? 155 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,283 Well, we've got a little problem. 156 00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,200 Brighton knew I didn't want him to go to the mall. 157 00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:33,233 So he used you to undermine me. 158 00:07:33,266 --> 00:07:36,330 Er, no, in all fairness, 159 00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:37,366 he made it perfectly clear you'd already said no. 160 00:07:39,183 --> 00:07:41,366 Oh, well, then I take it back. 161 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:42,483 We don't have a little problem. 162 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,183 We've got a big problem. 163 00:07:44,216 --> 00:07:45,383 [SIGHS] 164 00:07:45,416 --> 00:07:47,166 Miss Fine, don't you think 165 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,333 you're being just a bit overprotective? 166 00:07:50,366 --> 00:07:52,200 Ah, it's a... It's a guy thing. 167 00:07:52,233 --> 00:07:54,266 Yeah, I-- 168 00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:57,316 I thought it was appropriate to just let him go. 169 00:07:57,350 --> 00:08:00,160 And just how did you think he was getting to Jersey? 170 00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:01,330 He's going to Jersey!? 171 00:08:03,660 --> 00:08:05,160 Just for the future, Mr. Sheffield, 172 00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:08,183 when the kids say, "Fran said no," 173 00:08:08,216 --> 00:08:11,160 that's the big robot saying, "Danger, Will Robinson!" 174 00:08:14,483 --> 00:08:16,250 You know, I could have stayed in England. 175 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:20,283 I'll make it simple for you. 176 00:08:20,316 --> 00:08:22,200 Children are like a brassiere. 177 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:26,283 One part of me says, "Get out the window quick!" 178 00:08:28,283 --> 00:08:30,300 But the other part just has to know why. 179 00:08:32,483 --> 00:08:35,400 Because they divide and separate. 180 00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:40,660 Ah. 181 00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:42,000 Your mother never told you that? 182 00:08:42,330 --> 00:08:43,366 No, but we always thought Mummy 183 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:44,250 should've talked more about her underwear. 184 00:08:47,383 --> 00:08:51,133 My point is that you have to give me full support. 185 00:08:51,166 --> 00:08:53,150 You must back me up no matter what. 186 00:08:53,183 --> 00:08:55,000 All right, Miss Fine, I promise, 187 00:08:55,330 --> 00:08:57,830 if you promise no more brassiere analogies. 188 00:08:57,116 --> 00:08:58,266 Cross my heart. 189 00:08:58,300 --> 00:08:59,350 [LAUGHS] 190 00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:07,100 I don't want to hear that you don't wanna go tonight. 191 00:09:07,133 --> 00:09:10,300 That man works very hard to put a roof over your head. 192 00:09:10,333 --> 00:09:13,183 Now stop whining and go put on your party clothes. 193 00:09:13,216 --> 00:09:14,316 Oh, all right. 194 00:09:17,116 --> 00:09:20,830 Don't give me that look. - What look? 195 00:09:20,116 --> 00:09:22,330 Oh, the look of anticipation, sir. 196 00:09:22,660 --> 00:09:23,000 It's only four hours tillNorma. 197 00:09:25,283 --> 00:09:26,100 Try to hold on, man. 198 00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:28,350 [SMOOCHES] 199 00:09:32,133 --> 00:09:32,366 Do you smell cheese? 200 00:09:33,483 --> 00:09:35,660 Oh, that's Kyle. 201 00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:37,200 [DOORBELL RINGS] 202 00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:38,266 Alrighty, I'm going to the mall like you said. 203 00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:40,316 Uh, uh, I've changed my mind. 204 00:09:40,350 --> 00:09:42,216 Brighton, you're staying home. 205 00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:45,266 A-and when Miss Fine says no, it means no. 206 00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:47,316 Hm. 207 00:09:47,350 --> 00:09:49,330 Good afternoon, Munster... er, Master Kyle. 208 00:09:52,416 --> 00:09:54,183 Dad, nothing's gonna happen. 209 00:09:54,216 --> 00:09:56,830 Look, I think I've made myself perfectly clear. 210 00:09:58,500 --> 00:09:59,330 Is someone making grilled cheese? 211 00:10:02,283 --> 00:10:04,830 I think Kyle's just a little overheated. 212 00:10:06,660 --> 00:10:08,400 Take your coat off, honey. 213 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,200 Hello, I'm, uh, Peter Bidwell. 214 00:10:10,233 --> 00:10:11,160 I'll be driving the boys to the mall. 215 00:10:12,466 --> 00:10:14,116 You must be Mr. Sheffield. 216 00:10:14,150 --> 00:10:15,466 Yes. - How do you do, sir? 217 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,100 I saw your last play. Brilliant. 218 00:10:18,133 --> 00:10:20,133 Really? 219 00:10:20,166 --> 00:10:22,500 What was your favorite part? - No... 220 00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,333 Mr. Sheffield... - Well, Miss Fine... 221 00:10:24,366 --> 00:10:26,350 He seems like a perfectly responsible young man. 222 00:10:26,383 --> 00:10:29,400 Yeah, too bad he's not the one driving. - What? 223 00:10:29,433 --> 00:10:32,300 I'll bet you dollars for donuts this kid is the decoy. 224 00:10:32,333 --> 00:10:34,100 We used to send Bridget O'Malley 225 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,366 in her parochial uniform to the door. 226 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,166 Meanwhile, behind the wheel is sittin' Debbie Kudler, 227 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,383 burning her boyfriend's initials in her forearm. 228 00:10:42,116 --> 00:10:43,330 Watch and learn. 229 00:10:44,233 --> 00:10:46,330 Lovely home you have here. 230 00:10:46,660 --> 00:10:48,830 Peter, I've never met you before. 231 00:10:48,116 --> 00:10:49,133 Where do you go to school? 232 00:10:49,166 --> 00:10:51,450 Um, right around the corner. 233 00:10:51,483 --> 00:10:53,433 Oh. Who are you studying with? 234 00:10:53,466 --> 00:10:54,383 Hammacher or Schlemmer? 235 00:10:56,150 --> 00:10:56,483 Uh... 236 00:10:58,216 --> 00:10:59,183 Shhh... 237 00:10:59,216 --> 00:11:00,500 Schlemmer? 238 00:11:02,350 --> 00:11:04,000 Okay. Where'd they dig you up from? 239 00:11:05,216 --> 00:11:06,000 The Gap. 240 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:13,133 How much are they paying ya? 241 00:11:13,166 --> 00:11:14,133 Twenty. 242 00:11:14,166 --> 00:11:17,660 Twenty? 243 00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:19,233 Boy, Bridget used to do it for a pack of Kents. 244 00:11:19,266 --> 00:11:22,660 Well, you're busted, you guys. 245 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,150 Uh, sorry, guys. No refunds. 246 00:11:29,183 --> 00:11:30,183 Kyle, you paid him!? 247 00:11:32,266 --> 00:11:34,366 Well, if he's not drivin', then I'm not goin'. 248 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:35,233 Get out. 249 00:11:38,483 --> 00:11:40,116 Oh, man, that was close. 250 00:11:42,316 --> 00:11:44,416 Brighton! - Allow, me, Miss Fine. 251 00:11:44,450 --> 00:11:47,466 Brighton, you are grounded. - Ha. 252 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,333 Furthermore, you're not going to the show tonight. 253 00:11:50,366 --> 00:11:51,400 Oh. 254 00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:58,660 Oh. But I've only seen it once. 255 00:11:58,100 --> 00:11:59,266 You should've thought of that before. 256 00:12:04,483 --> 00:12:05,400 Oh, well. 257 00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:07,383 Freeze! 258 00:12:09,183 --> 00:12:11,000 Mr. Sheffield... 259 00:12:13,383 --> 00:12:16,200 I think you're being just a little too severe. 260 00:12:16,233 --> 00:12:18,200 He's really a good boy. 261 00:12:21,133 --> 00:12:21,483 No, I'm not. 262 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,133 I'm bad, very bad. 263 00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:31,316 He wants to come with us and see the play again. 264 00:12:33,116 --> 00:12:35,216 All three acts. 265 00:12:36,283 --> 00:12:38,150 Well... 266 00:12:38,183 --> 00:12:39,316 Oh, but I don't deserve it! 267 00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:43,233 Oh, baby, you do. 268 00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:48,233 You really do. 269 00:12:50,366 --> 00:12:51,450 FRAN: Mr. Sheffield. 270 00:12:51,483 --> 00:12:53,350 Another opening, another shrimp. 271 00:13:01,383 --> 00:13:03,660 Miss Fine, what were those two women 272 00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:05,150 behind you complaining about? 273 00:13:05,183 --> 00:13:07,000 Oh, who knows? Something about not being able to see. 274 00:13:09,166 --> 00:13:10,133 What'd you think, Niles? 275 00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:11,183 Hm? - Niles? 276 00:13:11,216 --> 00:13:12,160 Nicks are up by two. 277 00:13:14,366 --> 00:13:16,416 Maxwell, the photographers want to take a picture of us. 278 00:13:16,450 --> 00:13:18,133 Go on, Nanny Fine. Free shrimp. 279 00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:21,116 You don't have to tell me twice. 280 00:13:23,466 --> 00:13:25,133 Mr. Sheffield, could we get a photo of you and Miss Boobcock? 281 00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:29,660 Right. Now, shall we? 282 00:13:34,466 --> 00:13:36,466 Wait a minute. Are the busboys on strike? 283 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:40,450 Oh, my God. Those poor people! 284 00:13:40,483 --> 00:13:42,116 Who's gonna clear their tables? 285 00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,433 Miss Fine, after you. 286 00:13:46,466 --> 00:13:49,160 Mr. Sheffield, I can't go in there. 287 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:51,250 My mother had three rules. 288 00:13:51,283 --> 00:13:52,433 Never make contact with a public toilet... 289 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,383 never, ever, ever cross a picket line... 290 00:13:57,416 --> 00:13:59,250 What was the third one? 291 00:13:59,283 --> 00:14:02,333 Oh, yeah, never wear musk oil to the zoo. 292 00:14:02,366 --> 00:14:05,300 Miss Fine, you're embarrassing me. Now, come along. 293 00:14:05,333 --> 00:14:08,483 I can't! My Aunt "Or Blouse" would roll over in her grave. 294 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:10,100 Which was paid for by her union. 295 00:14:12,216 --> 00:14:13,416 Now, will you please come in before this 296 00:14:13,450 --> 00:14:16,300 turns into a spectacle? - No, no! 297 00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,300 I can't! Stop it. - Would...? Let's go, Miss Fine. 298 00:14:18,333 --> 00:14:19,483 Would you please--? - No! 299 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:20,283 [CAMERA CLICK] 300 00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:35,100 Mr. Sheffield's big night last night. 301 00:14:35,133 --> 00:14:37,383 Well, you know what I'll do just to defuse the situation? 302 00:14:39,366 --> 00:14:41,283 I'll tell him how adorable he is, 303 00:14:41,316 --> 00:14:42,466 compliment him on his accent. 304 00:14:45,333 --> 00:14:48,250 And if that fails, I can always turn on the tears. 305 00:14:48,283 --> 00:14:50,830 He's a real sucker for crying. 306 00:14:52,233 --> 00:14:53,333 Oh, hi, Niles. 307 00:14:53,366 --> 00:14:54,216 Hello. 308 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,183 Can you drop me off at Unemployment? 309 00:15:03,133 --> 00:15:05,330 Good morning, Miss Fine. 310 00:15:05,660 --> 00:15:06,316 Entertainment section, please, Niles. 311 00:15:06,350 --> 00:15:08,433 Oh, don't bother. I've already scoured the paper. 312 00:15:08,466 --> 00:15:10,116 I didn't see any mention of our little incident. 313 00:15:14,483 --> 00:15:17,233 It was a coupon? 314 00:15:17,266 --> 00:15:19,200 Let's imagine what this picture would have look liked, hm? 315 00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:21,333 Miss Fine! 316 00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:25,483 How could you do this to me? 317 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:29,660 Well, I'm sorry, but the Fines don't cross picket lines. 318 00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,200 It's against our religion. 319 00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,366 Like eating pork. 320 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,100 Well, you eat bacon. 321 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,350 No, I don't! 322 00:15:34,383 --> 00:15:36,216 You most certainly do too. 323 00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:37,400 All right, but only if it's very crispy 324 00:15:37,433 --> 00:15:38,316 or in a club sandwich. 325 00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:42,250 And don't ever tell my grandmother. 326 00:15:42,283 --> 00:15:44,000 She eats it as well. 327 00:15:44,330 --> 00:15:45,100 Oh, all right, we all do. 328 00:15:49,433 --> 00:15:53,266 Mr. Sheffield, what part of England do you come from? 329 00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:54,466 You have such a gorgeous accent. 330 00:15:56,166 --> 00:15:56,416 Miss Fine... 331 00:15:59,830 --> 00:16:02,283 [WHINING] Well, you don't understand anything! 332 00:16:02,316 --> 00:16:05,133 [MIMICKING] Oh, I understand a lot more than you think. 333 00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:09,283 Oh, what's the use? 334 00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:11,483 You blue bloods just don't know from us blue-collars. 335 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,250 [SCOFFS] Oh, so now I don't appreciate 336 00:16:14,283 --> 00:16:15,383 the plight of the working man, hm? 337 00:16:15,416 --> 00:16:16,283 Look, I have a job. 338 00:16:16,316 --> 00:16:18,200 Ha! 339 00:16:18,233 --> 00:16:21,166 I'm a working stiff, just like the next guy. 340 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,266 Oh, Niles, what is this on my shoe? 341 00:16:25,366 --> 00:16:27,500 Daddy, I need the limo. 342 00:16:27,830 --> 00:16:28,416 I have a riding lesson after school. 343 00:16:28,450 --> 00:16:30,250 But I have a play date with Ivanka Trump. 344 00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:34,366 One of you'll just have to take the town car, won't you? 345 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:35,216 [BOTH GIRLS SIGH] 346 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,150 There. See. We have problems just like everyone else. 347 00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:44,383 Maxwell, you are never gonna believe what happened! 348 00:16:44,416 --> 00:16:47,116 There was a message on your answering machine? 349 00:16:47,150 --> 00:16:48,216 No, no. The box office does-- 350 00:16:49,183 --> 00:16:51,400 No! 351 00:16:51,433 --> 00:16:53,450 The box office doesn't open for a hour, 352 00:16:53,483 --> 00:16:56,116 and there's already a line around the block. 353 00:16:56,150 --> 00:16:58,433 And wants us on her show today! 354 00:16:58,466 --> 00:17:01,166 Oh! I love her. 355 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,433 She's the best. You know, Oprah goes up and down, 356 00:17:03,466 --> 00:17:07,433 but Sally maintains her ideal weight. 357 00:17:07,466 --> 00:17:10,350 C.C., Sally isn't inviting us to chat up the show. 358 00:17:10,383 --> 00:17:11,383 She just wants to talk about 359 00:17:11,416 --> 00:17:13,316 that bloody picket line incident. 360 00:17:13,350 --> 00:17:16,216 Maxwell, Maxwell, Maxwell. 361 00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:18,233 She isn't gonna be the only one with a mike. 362 00:17:18,266 --> 00:17:20,333 I will just paint Nanny Fine as a... 363 00:17:20,366 --> 00:17:21,233 disgruntled nut. 364 00:17:22,383 --> 00:17:24,466 Disgruntled nut? 365 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,450 That could work. 366 00:17:26,483 --> 00:17:28,416 Well, maybe we should go. 367 00:17:28,450 --> 00:17:30,183 I suppose I could try some damage control. 368 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:33,350 Maxwell, leave it to me. I can fix anything. 369 00:17:33,383 --> 00:17:35,316 You can fix anything? 370 00:17:35,350 --> 00:17:37,100 C.C., there is a billboard in Times Square 371 00:17:37,133 --> 00:17:38,216 that says "Boobcock". 372 00:17:43,183 --> 00:17:45,100 Where's Steadman? 373 00:17:45,133 --> 00:17:46,116 That'sOprah. This isSally. 374 00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:47,400 Oh. 375 00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:50,450 OVER P.A.: Five, four, three, two-- 376 00:17:50,483 --> 00:17:52,266 [APPLAUSE] 377 00:17:54,266 --> 00:17:57,233 Well, today we have the producers ofNorma, 378 00:17:57,266 --> 00:17:59,330 which opened on Broadway yesterday, 379 00:17:59,660 --> 00:18:01,116 to rave reviews, I might add. 380 00:18:01,150 --> 00:18:04,250 [APPLAUSE] 381 00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:07,150 [UNDER BREATH] See, I told you you were worried about nothing. 382 00:18:07,183 --> 00:18:10,166 Max, isn't it ironic that you are producing a play 383 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,483 that is pro-union... 384 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,233 and yet, you were photographed 385 00:18:15,266 --> 00:18:17,450 dragging an employee across the picket line? 386 00:18:17,483 --> 00:18:21,266 [APPLAUSE] - [CHUCKLES] I know, I know. 387 00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:26,383 Oh, would you look at the size of that picture! 388 00:18:26,416 --> 00:18:27,416 I wonder how much it would cost to get that framed. 389 00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:35,330 Well, uh, Sally, first of all, I want to go on record as saying 390 00:18:35,660 --> 00:18:37,466 thatNorma nearly 300 union members. 391 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,000 Ooh, ooh, ooh! 392 00:18:41,266 --> 00:18:43,166 Nanny Fine is a disgruntled nut! 393 00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:47,316 Oh, look, my name's on TV. 394 00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:52,100 Well, look at who we have here. 395 00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:54,400 Fran Fine, the nanny! 396 00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:56,283 [APPLAUSE] - Hi, Sally. 397 00:18:56,316 --> 00:18:58,416 Why don't you join them on stage. 398 00:18:58,450 --> 00:19:01,166 Oh, no, I couldn't... [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] 399 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,183 Oh, well, for the people. 400 00:19:06,233 --> 00:19:08,150 Why don't you move over, Miss, uh, Boobcock. 401 00:19:15,283 --> 00:19:18,350 Max, did you know that there was a strike? 402 00:19:18,383 --> 00:19:21,416 Well, no, of course not, Sally. But what was I supposed to do? 403 00:19:21,450 --> 00:19:23,350 Everyone was already inside. 404 00:19:23,383 --> 00:19:26,433 I mean, cast members, celebrities, the press. 405 00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:30,483 I called Beefsteak Charlie's. They don't have a booth for 312. 406 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:32,283 Wow. That's a lot of important people. 407 00:19:32,316 --> 00:19:33,250 What did you expect him to do, Fran? 408 00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:35,450 Fran? 409 00:19:35,483 --> 00:19:36,300 Fran! 410 00:19:38,233 --> 00:19:39,100 Oh! 411 00:19:40,150 --> 00:19:42,216 I'm sorry. 412 00:19:42,250 --> 00:19:45,466 Well, you know, I understood why he crossed the picket line. 413 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,233 Why can't he understand why I couldn't? 414 00:19:48,266 --> 00:19:49,383 I thought we were supposed to 415 00:19:49,416 --> 00:19:51,366 back each other up, no matter what. 416 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,250 Oh, so I'm just supposed to play along with everything you say? 417 00:19:54,283 --> 00:19:56,266 Apparently, I'm supposed to play along with everythingyou 418 00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:58,250 Now-- - Hold it folks. 419 00:19:58,283 --> 00:20:00,283 What--? Max, what are we really talking about here? 420 00:20:00,316 --> 00:20:01,400 I mean, in one word. 421 00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:03,116 Support. 422 00:20:03,150 --> 00:20:04,300 Good. 423 00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:06,233 Fran, in one word. 424 00:20:06,266 --> 00:20:08,100 One word? Good bloody luck. 425 00:20:13,383 --> 00:20:16,450 Hey, Mr. They-Had-to-Turn- the-Music-on- 426 00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:19,150 to-Get-You-off-the-Stage- at-the-Tony-Awards. 427 00:20:23,116 --> 00:20:25,116 [MOUTHS SILENTLY] SALLY: Kids! 428 00:20:25,150 --> 00:20:28,233 Maxwell, will you at least concede that perhaps 429 00:20:28,266 --> 00:20:31,000 you could have been a little bit more sympathetic 430 00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:32,283 to Fran's feelings on the picket line? 431 00:20:32,316 --> 00:20:33,466 Well, I suppose I... 432 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,660 Maybe... 433 00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:36,433 Might... 434 00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:41,660 Could've been... 435 00:20:46,660 --> 00:20:47,366 I missed that, Sally. 436 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,500 You're gonna have to send me a transcript. 437 00:20:52,330 --> 00:20:54,500 Well, look, it was a very important night for me. 438 00:20:54,830 --> 00:20:56,216 You're important to me. Ergo, I wanted you there. 439 00:20:56,250 --> 00:20:57,283 "Ergo"? Who's Ergo? 440 00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:01,330 Sally, Sally. 441 00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:02,400 Look, look, girlfriend! 442 00:21:05,183 --> 00:21:07,183 Didn't you hear what the man just said? 443 00:21:07,216 --> 00:21:08,333 He said you're important to him! 444 00:21:10,116 --> 00:21:11,160 Is that what you said? 445 00:21:12,216 --> 00:21:13,266 Yes. 446 00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:15,100 [AUDIENCE SIGHS] 447 00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:20,233 Well, why can't they just communicate? 448 00:21:20,266 --> 00:21:22,316 You know, if we were running the world, 449 00:21:22,350 --> 00:21:25,000 there'd be no wars, right, girls? 450 00:21:25,330 --> 00:21:26,283 AUDIENCE: Yeah. 451 00:21:26,316 --> 00:21:29,100 [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] MAXWELL: Right, right. 452 00:21:29,133 --> 00:21:31,200 Right, because-- 453 00:21:31,233 --> 00:21:34,250 because there'd be so much bloody talk, 454 00:21:34,283 --> 00:21:36,150 there'd be no time for war, isn't that true, gentlemen? 455 00:21:40,150 --> 00:21:41,366 Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! 456 00:21:44,383 --> 00:21:48,500 Boy, that Sally is one fantastic interviewer. 457 00:21:48,830 --> 00:21:50,233 She gets things out of you that you didn't even know were there. 458 00:21:50,266 --> 00:21:52,450 That tax shelter where you hid all that money, 459 00:21:52,483 --> 00:21:53,383 I don't know how that came out. 460 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,283 [CLEARS THROAT] Well, it wasn't a total disaster. 461 00:21:59,316 --> 00:22:01,216 It seems our appearance shamed the hotel 462 00:22:01,250 --> 00:22:03,160 into settling with the busboys. 463 00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:06,266 Oh, that makes me feel good, 'cause, you know, 464 00:22:06,300 --> 00:22:08,450 they work so hard, and all they really needed 465 00:22:08,483 --> 00:22:11,250 was to be treated with a little human dignity. 466 00:22:11,283 --> 00:22:12,383 I thought you'd like that. 467 00:22:12,416 --> 00:22:14,283 They settled for $8 an hour. 468 00:22:14,316 --> 00:22:16,466 What!? For bringing water? 469 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,233 That you have to ask 16 times for? 470 00:22:19,266 --> 00:22:21,330 And then they take your plate before you're through. 471 00:22:21,660 --> 00:22:23,200 Mmm. Then you know they're eating it in the back. 472 00:22:26,100 --> 00:22:28,200 Oh, Niles, we are gonna have to get organized. 473 00:22:28,233 --> 00:22:30,830 We're being exploited. 474 00:22:30,116 --> 00:22:32,330 Amen. Would you like some foie gras? 475 00:22:32,660 --> 00:22:34,416 Nah, I've had it up to here with beluga. 476 00:22:34,416 --> 00:22:36,500 Yes, life is tough, isn't it, folks? 477 00:22:38,100 --> 00:22:41,183 Mm, he should only walk a mile in my shoes. 478 00:22:41,216 --> 00:22:43,183 Oh, Miss Fine,you walk a mile in your shoes. 479 00:22:43,216 --> 00:22:46,116 [LAUGHS] 480 00:22:46,150 --> 00:22:51,316 [BOTH HUM "LOOK FOR THE UNION LABEL"] 481 00:22:51,350 --> 00:22:52,383 ♪ ..or blouse ♪ 482 00:22:58,333 --> 00:23:02,000 Oh, Sally is very classy. 483 00:23:02,330 --> 00:23:05,830 The way she handled those bisexual Siamese twins... 484 00:23:07,483 --> 00:23:10,483 I'll tell ya, Geraldo really sensationalized it, 485 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,300 but Sally handled it with a plum. 486 00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:17,366 That's "aplomb," Miss Fine. 487 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:18,483 No, it was a plum. 488 00:23:20,483 --> 00:23:22,366 What the devil do bisexual Siamese twins 489 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:23,316 have to do with a plum?