1
00:00:06,266 --> 00:00:08,233
Oh, Miss Fine, is it that time
of the month again?
2
00:00:12,660 --> 00:00:14,300
Oh, I'm afraid so,
Niles.
3
00:00:14,333 --> 00:00:17,133
Time to make
my credit card payments.
4
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,283
Oh, thank God
I've got a system.
5
00:00:22,316 --> 00:00:24,183
No, you don't.
I'm tapped.
6
00:00:24,216 --> 00:00:25,283
Not you.
7
00:00:27,250 --> 00:00:29,166
I have to pay
my American Express,
8
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,000
because if I buy
a piece ofgum,
9
00:00:31,330 --> 00:00:32,200
the SWAT team
storms the building.
10
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,160
Meanwhile,
I pay my MasterCard
11
00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:37,266
with my Discover card.
12
00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:40,316
My Discover card
with my Optima card.
13
00:00:40,350 --> 00:00:45,116
My Optima card
with my Cititrust Visa.
14
00:00:45,150 --> 00:00:47,316
But doesn't that leave
a very high balance
on your Visa?
15
00:00:47,350 --> 00:00:49,366
Exactly.
16
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,400
And that's why they give me
an espresso machine,
17
00:00:51,433 --> 00:00:55,160
which I sell to pay off
my American Express, thank you.
18
00:00:57,250 --> 00:00:59,000
Miss Fine, you should be
president of Mexico.
19
00:01:02,266 --> 00:01:03,433
Daddy, I need
some money.
20
00:01:03,466 --> 00:01:05,400
Oh, of course, sweetheart.
Here you are.
21
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:07,433
Oh, boy,
you're lucky.
22
00:01:07,466 --> 00:01:10,233
My father was never
so generous with me...
23
00:01:10,266 --> 00:01:12,200
unless he was asleep,
24
00:01:12,233 --> 00:01:13,200
and his pants were hanging
on the back of a chair.
25
00:01:15,830 --> 00:01:18,116
Fran, it's only $50.
- Only $50?
26
00:01:18,150 --> 00:01:19,483
Do you know
how many kids
27
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:23,350
Sally Struthers
could feed for $50?
28
00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:25,333
Although, have you
seen her lately?
29
00:01:25,366 --> 00:01:27,330
Do we really think
she's feeding anyone else?
30
00:01:33,366 --> 00:01:35,266
Well, you know, Margaret, Miss
Fine does have a valid point.
31
00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:37,233
I gave you $50
just yesterday.
32
00:01:37,266 --> 00:01:39,000
Now, what did
you do with it?
33
00:01:39,330 --> 00:01:40,433
I spent it on clothes
for school.
34
00:01:40,466 --> 00:01:42,830
Well, there you are.
You see?
35
00:01:42,116 --> 00:01:43,216
She spent it
on clothes for school--
36
00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:44,416
Don't you have
a uniform?
37
00:01:44,450 --> 00:01:46,466
Dad, don't be mean.
38
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,316
I love you so much.
39
00:01:51,150 --> 00:01:54,500
All right. But this
is the last time.
40
00:01:54,830 --> 00:01:56,416
Oy.
What?
41
00:01:56,450 --> 00:02:00,466
Well, you know, I don't
wanna
derail the gravy train,
42
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,183
but don't you think it's
time
that the kid got a job?
43
00:02:03,216 --> 00:02:04,433
Okay,
I'll get a job.
44
00:02:04,466 --> 00:02:06,200
I'll go work
at the Gap.
45
00:02:06,233 --> 00:02:07,483
Wait a minute, isn't that
where
your boyfriend, Peter, works?
46
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,133
Oh. Is it?
47
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,330
Honey, honey,
let me handle this.
48
00:02:15,660 --> 00:02:17,466
You're opening up a whole
Endora's box over here.
49
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:21,400
Mr. Sheffield,
all I'm saying
50
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,133
is that
I think a job
51
00:02:23,166 --> 00:02:24,383
would teach her
responsibility.
52
00:02:24,416 --> 00:02:26,200
Yeah, well,
I'm all for that.
53
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,250
I just think she may be
too young to start working.
54
00:02:28,283 --> 00:02:30,416
Well, you're not doing her
any favors
55
00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:33,116
by handing her everything
on a silver platter.
56
00:02:33,150 --> 00:02:34,350
Thank you, Niles.
- Mm.
57
00:02:37,416 --> 00:02:39,133
I don't know, Miss Fine.
58
00:02:39,166 --> 00:02:40,266
I just don't feel right
about Margaret
59
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:41,433
taking a job
away from someone
60
00:02:41,466 --> 00:02:43,250
who could really use
the money.
61
00:02:43,283 --> 00:02:46,216
Well, okay. Uh, have
her do volunteer work.
62
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:47,150
Yeah, I can do
volun--
63
00:02:47,183 --> 00:02:49,830
What?
64
00:02:49,116 --> 00:02:51,266
You mean work
and
65
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:53,416
Why do I have to work
in the first place?
66
00:02:53,450 --> 00:02:55,333
I thought
we were rich.
No, no, no, no.
67
00:02:55,366 --> 00:02:58,116
I'm rich. You won't be rich
until I'm dead.
68
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,416
Uh, don't go there,
Mr. Sheffield.
69
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,316
I have the feeling
Mr. Menendez
70
00:03:05,350 --> 00:03:06,316
used that logic
on Lyle and Erik.
71
00:03:09,283 --> 00:03:12,266
[THEME SONG PLAYS]
72
00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:13,366
♪ She was workin'
In a bridal shop ♪
73
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,116
♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪
74
00:03:15,150 --> 00:03:16,216
♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪
75
00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:18,100
♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪
76
00:03:18,133 --> 00:03:19,416
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪
77
00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:23,266
♪ She was out on her fanny ♪
78
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:24,333
♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪
79
00:03:24,366 --> 00:03:26,200
♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪
80
00:03:26,233 --> 00:03:28,350
♪ She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more ♪
81
00:03:28,383 --> 00:03:30,316
♪ She had style, she had flair
She was there ♪
82
00:03:30,350 --> 00:03:34,316
♪ That's how she became
The nanny ♪
83
00:03:34,350 --> 00:03:37,283
♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪
84
00:03:37,316 --> 00:03:39,333
♪ Was just exactly what
The doctor prescribed? ♪
85
00:03:39,366 --> 00:03:40,350
♪ Now the father
Finds her beguiling ♪
86
00:03:40,383 --> 00:03:42,100
♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪
87
00:03:42,133 --> 00:03:43,216
♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪
88
00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:44,316
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
89
00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:46,133
♪ She's the lady in red ♪
90
00:03:46,166 --> 00:03:49,466
♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪
91
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,283
♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪
92
00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:53,500
♪ The nanny named Fran ♪
93
00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:02,133
Sorry I'm late,
Maxwell.
94
00:04:02,166 --> 00:04:04,183
My cooking class
ran over.
95
00:04:04,216 --> 00:04:05,233
Taste this.
Taste this!
96
00:04:12,483 --> 00:04:14,483
Mm.
97
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:16,100
Oh, let me give you
a tortilla for dipping.
98
00:04:16,133 --> 00:04:17,000
[SPITS]
99
00:04:21,330 --> 00:04:22,300
Oh.
100
00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:23,200
Well, go on.
Dip.
101
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,660
Knock, knock.
Oh, Miss Fine. Come in.
102
00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:38,150
Guess who got
a new job.
103
00:04:38,183 --> 00:04:41,283
Hallelujah,
Nanny Fine!
104
00:04:41,316 --> 00:04:42,333
Don't even give
two weeks' notice.
105
00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:43,450
Girl, you just
go, go, go.
106
00:04:45,416 --> 00:04:46,400
And as a token
of my appreciation...
107
00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:52,300
Oh, Miss Babcock,
it's gorgeous.
108
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,166
I don't know
what to say.
109
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,330
Oh, yes, I do.
110
00:04:56,660 --> 00:04:57,000
I'm not the one
with the new job.
111
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,233
Maggie is.
112
00:04:58,266 --> 00:05:00,300
Hm.
Self-winding.
113
00:05:03,116 --> 00:05:05,416
Well, Maggie's
going to be
114
00:05:05,450 --> 00:05:07,483
a candy striper
at Belmont Hospital.
115
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:09,266
I got her the gig
through this doctor
116
00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:10,466
I once broke up with.
117
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,366
You
with a doctor?
118
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,483
Uh-huh.
119
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,483
A very successful
anesthesiologist.
120
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:21,100
But when I went out with him,
I didn't feel anything.
121
00:05:24,316 --> 00:05:26,200
Miss Fine,
do you really think
122
00:05:26,233 --> 00:05:29,160
Margaret's responsible enough
to be working in a hospital?
123
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:30,333
Oh, what's the worst
that will happen?
124
00:05:30,366 --> 00:05:32,300
She'll forget to bring
someone their Jell-O Snack?
125
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:35,483
See that aquarium?
126
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,283
What aquarium? There's
no fish in there.
127
00:05:38,316 --> 00:05:40,133
Well, Margaret forgot to
bring
them their Jell-O Snacks.
128
00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:47,333
Well...this is
different.
129
00:05:47,366 --> 00:05:50,366
This job is gonna help
build her character.
130
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,300
She's gonna wake up
every morning with a purpose,
131
00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:54,200
to help people...
132
00:05:54,233 --> 00:05:56,000
to marry a doctor,
133
00:05:56,330 --> 00:05:57,416
to move to Great Neck,
134
00:05:57,450 --> 00:06:01,000
to drive a Caddy SDS
with a Northstar engine
135
00:06:01,330 --> 00:06:02,283
and make her cousin Martha
so jealous!
136
00:06:04,283 --> 00:06:06,160
Oh, sorry.
I'm back.
137
00:06:08,316 --> 00:06:11,100
Oh, Miss Babcock...
138
00:06:11,133 --> 00:06:11,433
is your dog here?
139
00:06:17,483 --> 00:06:19,300
Chester?
He's not here.
140
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:21,416
Oh, well, then what's
with the Cycle 2?
141
00:06:24,830 --> 00:06:26,466
I made that
in cooking class,
142
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,216
Nanny Fine, who knows
nothing about haute cuisine.
143
00:06:30,350 --> 00:06:32,233
Well...
144
00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:34,183
I know when food's supposed
to be served in a bowl
145
00:06:34,216 --> 00:06:35,300
with a name on it.
[CHUCKLES]
146
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:42,200
WOMAN [ON PA]:
Dr. Carrow, Surgery please.
Dr. Carrow...
147
00:06:42,233 --> 00:06:45,450
Oh, honey, this job is gonna
just do wonders for you.
148
00:06:45,483 --> 00:06:48,383
And, besides, it's really good
karma to help people in need.
149
00:06:48,416 --> 00:06:52,333
Oh, just look at that woman
over there.
150
00:06:52,366 --> 00:06:54,150
Let's go over and cheer her up
a little bit.
151
00:06:57,116 --> 00:07:00,400
Hi. You know, things
can't be that bad.
152
00:07:00,433 --> 00:07:02,283
And when you look good...
153
00:07:04,233 --> 00:07:06,660
you feel good.
154
00:07:08,266 --> 00:07:10,350
There.
155
00:07:10,383 --> 00:07:13,000
Oh, she's gonna feel
much better about herself now.
156
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:22,330
Oh, excuse me.
I need a doctor.
157
00:07:22,660 --> 00:07:23,660
What are
your symptoms?
158
00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:24,316
I'm 30 and single.
159
00:07:24,350 --> 00:07:27,250
[BOTH LAUGH]
160
00:07:27,283 --> 00:07:28,433
That's funny.
161
00:07:28,466 --> 00:07:29,266
Thirty.
162
00:07:34,216 --> 00:07:36,383
Anyway, this is
Maggie Sheffield,
163
00:07:36,416 --> 00:07:37,416
your new candy striper.
164
00:07:37,450 --> 00:07:39,166
Hi.
165
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,150
Now, Maggie,
this is a hospital,
166
00:07:41,183 --> 00:07:42,316
and things can get
pretty rough around here.
167
00:07:42,350 --> 00:07:44,316
Are you sure
you're up for this?
168
00:07:44,350 --> 00:07:45,233
Uh, excuse me
for a moment.
169
00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:49,350
Fran, I don't know.
Maybe Dad was right.
170
00:07:49,383 --> 00:07:52,350
Uh, number one, don't
ever say that again.
171
00:07:52,383 --> 00:07:55,160
Number two,
we prepared for this.
172
00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:58,500
How manyRescue 911's
did we watch?
173
00:07:58,830 --> 00:08:00,283
I know, but this is real.
That's fake.
174
00:08:00,316 --> 00:08:03,500
Honey,911
is
not fake.
175
00:08:03,830 --> 00:08:05,183
It's a reenactment
of an actual event.
176
00:08:05,216 --> 00:08:06,400
Only with better-looking
people.
177
00:08:08,283 --> 00:08:11,160
So now,
don't get nervous.
178
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:12,283
That's just a needle.
- I know.
179
00:08:14,266 --> 00:08:17,183
Don't let it get to you.
- I won't.
180
00:08:17,216 --> 00:08:19,283
FRAN: You okay?
- Yeah.
181
00:08:19,316 --> 00:08:21,660
Good.
182
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:22,233
See ya.
183
00:08:22,266 --> 00:08:23,300
[THUD]
Fran?
184
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:31,250
Peter, this job gets
more amazing every day.
185
00:08:31,283 --> 00:08:32,466
Make that pouty face.
186
00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:37,830
Peter, I'm serious.
187
00:08:37,116 --> 00:08:38,483
This lady came out
of surgery,
188
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,160
and I was there
when she opened her eyes.
189
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:42,433
Oh, you should've
seen her face
190
00:08:42,466 --> 00:08:45,500
when I said her thighs
already look smaller.
191
00:08:49,316 --> 00:08:50,166
Maggie...
192
00:08:52,350 --> 00:08:55,300
What's the number of that
pizza place that delivers?
193
00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:57,250
[MURMURS WORDS]
No, no, not that one.
194
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:00,450
The one on 57th.
195
00:09:00,483 --> 00:09:02,166
Oh, never mind.
I'll look it up.
196
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:03,466
Oh, what do you
want on it?
197
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,183
[BOTH MURMUR WORDS]
198
00:09:05,216 --> 00:09:07,483
Oh, can't we split
the diff?
199
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:11,500
Can't we do half pepperoni,
half Canadian bacon?
200
00:09:12,366 --> 00:09:14,000
What do you want,
Brighton?
201
00:09:14,330 --> 00:09:15,150
Put me down
for a calzone.
202
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:18,283
Brighton...
203
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:22,333
Oh, hi, Mr. Sheffield.
204
00:09:22,366 --> 00:09:24,250
How was your dinner
at Miss Babcock's?
205
00:09:24,283 --> 00:09:25,416
What did she serve?
206
00:09:25,450 --> 00:09:27,233
Well, I'm not
quite sure.
207
00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:29,133
But I have a feeling
I'll be tasting it again
208
00:09:29,166 --> 00:09:31,166
later this evening.
209
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,660
Well, judging
by the hour,
210
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,200
you must have liked it
well enough
211
00:09:34,233 --> 00:09:34,466
to have stayed
for seconds.
212
00:09:37,416 --> 00:09:39,160
What's wrong
with him?
213
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:40,400
Well, you know,
214
00:09:40,433 --> 00:09:43,316
you come home smelling
of another chef's cooking,
215
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,233
you've got sauce
on your collar...
216
00:09:45,266 --> 00:09:46,116
I mean,
he's not stupid.
217
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:50,166
Miss Fine, do you
happen to have anything
218
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,466
for an upset stomach?
219
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,116
Oh, of course.
Let me go see here.
220
00:09:54,150 --> 00:09:59,216
I've got, uh, Gas-X,
Rolaids, Mylanta.
221
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,450
Mint and the new
cherry flavor.
222
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,166
Are you--?
223
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,400
Are you gassy
or just bloated?
224
00:10:06,250 --> 00:10:08,250
I'd like to keep some
mystery between us.
225
00:10:08,283 --> 00:10:09,150
Why don't you
just surprise me.
226
00:10:11,483 --> 00:10:12,316
Thank you.
227
00:10:15,166 --> 00:10:17,466
I see Peter and Margaret
haven't left the couch.
228
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,116
Don't worry. I've been
in the room all night.
229
00:10:21,150 --> 00:10:23,316
Fran, Fran, hurry up.
The commercial's over.
230
00:10:23,350 --> 00:10:24,350
Honey, you're having
a nightmare. Go back to bed.
231
00:10:29,660 --> 00:10:30,830
Good evening,
Mr. Sheffield.
232
00:10:30,116 --> 00:10:32,660
Oh. Hello, Peter.
233
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:32,466
It's a lovely shade of lip
gloss
you're wearing.
234
00:10:35,216 --> 00:10:37,433
Thank you, sir.
[CLEARS THROAT]
235
00:10:37,466 --> 00:10:39,183
Meanwhile, have you
asked your daughter
236
00:10:39,216 --> 00:10:40,483
how's the hospital?
237
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,660
Five days in a row,.
Never late.
238
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,350
And you'll never hear
out of my mouth,
239
00:10:44,383 --> 00:10:46,830
"I told you so."
240
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,166
Oh, tell him
about the lady
241
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,300
who just came back
from the Amazon.
242
00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:52,350
Oh, my gosh.
243
00:10:52,383 --> 00:10:54,433
This weird bug laid eggs
in this lady's cheek,
244
00:10:54,466 --> 00:10:55,450
and they started
to hatch.
245
00:10:55,483 --> 00:10:57,316
Ah!
246
00:10:57,350 --> 00:10:58,383
Excuse me.
247
00:10:58,416 --> 00:10:59,366
Oh...
248
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:07,266
Why doesn't anyone wanna
hear about my job?
249
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,300
I can't wait to get back
to the hospital tomorrow night.
250
00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:11,300
But I got us tickets
to Meat Puppets.
251
00:11:11,333 --> 00:11:14,116
Hey. It's not like
they're paying me.
252
00:11:14,150 --> 00:11:16,416
Look, I'm sure I can find
somebody to fill in for me.
253
00:11:16,450 --> 00:11:17,300
But who?
254
00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:23,216
I'll call you
later.
255
00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:26,166
Good night, Peter.
Bye-bye.
256
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,216
Uh, Fran,
I need a favor.
257
00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:30,133
Um, how should
I put this...?
258
00:11:30,166 --> 00:11:33,266
Uh, imagine
if you were young--
259
00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:35,100
Honey, don't
get creative.
260
00:11:36,350 --> 00:11:37,100
Just tell me.
261
00:11:39,150 --> 00:11:40,416
I can't work
tomorrow night
262
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,283
because Peter asked me
to a concert.
263
00:11:42,316 --> 00:11:43,333
But I'm gonna
get somebody
264
00:11:43,366 --> 00:11:45,183
I really trust
to cover for me.
265
00:11:45,216 --> 00:11:46,433
Oh, well, if you got
somebody that you really
trust--
266
00:11:46,466 --> 00:11:48,300
Oh, no.
267
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:51,200
Oh, come on, Fran.
268
00:11:51,233 --> 00:11:52,216
It's our eight-week
anniversary.
269
00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:53,400
Eight?
Already?
270
00:11:53,433 --> 00:11:54,450
What is that,
lint?
271
00:12:00,660 --> 00:12:01,000
Hm.
272
00:12:04,183 --> 00:12:06,660
Honey, nobody is
going to believe
273
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,500
that I'm a candy striper.
274
00:12:08,830 --> 00:12:11,330
Fran, you could
pass for 16.
275
00:12:11,660 --> 00:12:13,483
Sixteen? No way.
276
00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:17,160
Eighteen,
maybe.
277
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,383
But I'm supposed
to be
278
00:12:20,416 --> 00:12:22,166
teaching you
responsibility.
279
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,383
Oh, Fran,
don't be mean.
280
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:26,383
I love you so much.
281
00:12:29,366 --> 00:12:31,250
Honey, that only works
on your father.
282
00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:33,830
Please?
283
00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:40,133
Oh, all right.
But just this one time.
284
00:12:40,166 --> 00:12:42,333
Oh, thank you
so much, Fran.
285
00:12:42,366 --> 00:12:44,316
Now, I know that you told him
that I wouldn't flake out,
286
00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:45,450
so, uh, we don't
have to tell him.
287
00:12:45,483 --> 00:12:47,466
Oh, no.
288
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,150
Don't start lying
to your father now.
289
00:12:50,183 --> 00:12:51,283
Save that for when
you come home
290
00:12:51,316 --> 00:12:52,133
wearing your shirt
inside out.
291
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,316
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
I gotta talk to you.
292
00:12:56,350 --> 00:12:59,100
No. No, Miss Fine.
Me first.
293
00:12:59,133 --> 00:13:00,433
I want to tell you
what a wonderful job
294
00:13:00,466 --> 00:13:02,233
you've done with Margaret.
295
00:13:02,266 --> 00:13:04,830
You know, I've been
trying for years
296
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:05,350
to teach that child
responsibility.
297
00:13:05,383 --> 00:13:07,000
And you waltz
in the front door
298
00:13:07,330 --> 00:13:08,330
and accomplish
it just...
299
00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:09,300
[SNAPS]
...like that.
300
00:13:09,333 --> 00:13:12,216
Well, you are
a remarkable young woman.
301
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,116
What are you
gonna do next?
302
00:13:14,150 --> 00:13:15,383
Uh...
303
00:13:15,416 --> 00:13:16,333
I'm going
to Disneyland.
304
00:13:29,166 --> 00:13:31,183
Hey, Fran.
305
00:13:31,216 --> 00:13:31,450
Ah, nobody's sneaking
out of the house.
306
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:37,133
Brighton, why aren't you eating
in front of the TV
307
00:13:37,166 --> 00:13:38,383
in the living room
like a normal kid?
308
00:13:38,416 --> 00:13:40,250
Niles would have a fit.
309
00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:43,116
You know, we spend
thousands of dollars
310
00:13:43,150 --> 00:13:44,333
to Scotchgard
the furniture,
311
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,366
and everybody's afraid
to see if it works.
312
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,116
Come on. Go ahead.
Goodbye.
313
00:13:55,116 --> 00:13:56,366
NILES:
♪ Rum-pum
Pa-dum-pum ♪
314
00:14:00,216 --> 00:14:02,133
Oh.
Hi, Niles.
315
00:14:02,166 --> 00:14:03,383
You know,
I'm glad you're here,
316
00:14:03,416 --> 00:14:05,383
because Brighton is eating
in the living room.
317
00:14:07,433 --> 00:14:09,416
Hm.
I'm telling you...
318
00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:11,233
What time do you have to be
at the hospital?
319
00:14:11,266 --> 00:14:12,366
Six, and I'm already--
320
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,133
Oh, how do
you know?
321
00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:16,316
Well, let's see, at 5:15,
322
00:14:16,350 --> 00:14:19,100
Peter's white Chevy Blazer
parked outside.
323
00:14:19,133 --> 00:14:21,416
Five-seventeen,
I hear a thump,
324
00:14:21,450 --> 00:14:24,330
Miss Margaret sneaking
past my door.
325
00:14:24,660 --> 00:14:26,300
I found this.
326
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:29,100
Five-twenty,
a plaintive wail
327
00:14:29,133 --> 00:14:30,133
from the neighbor's
schnauzer.
328
00:14:32,366 --> 00:14:35,450
Ah. Here's some
late-breaking evidence.
329
00:14:35,483 --> 00:14:38,216
A candy-striper uniform
on my ham.
330
00:14:40,316 --> 00:14:41,433
Thank you,
F. Lee Butler.
331
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:45,316
Mr. Sheffield
still sick?
332
00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:47,283
Yes.
Lucky you.
333
00:14:47,316 --> 00:14:50,166
Oh, Niles, I would never
wish the man ill
334
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,466
just so that I could sneak out--
335
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,333
MAXWELL: Niles.
- Oh, man. What's he doing up?
336
00:14:55,366 --> 00:14:57,000
Niles, Miss Babcock
and I are--
337
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,500
[GROANS]
338
00:14:59,830 --> 00:15:02,133
Miss Babcock--
[GRUNTS]
339
00:15:02,166 --> 00:15:05,160
Miss Babcock--
Oh.
340
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:06,483
Yes, I know
the feeling, sir.
341
00:15:13,316 --> 00:15:15,160
He's trying to say
342
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:16,150
we have to go out
to a meeting.
343
00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:17,250
Oh, very good, sir.
344
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:18,400
So then Miss Badcook--
345
00:15:18,433 --> 00:15:19,233
Uh, forgive me...
346
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:24,160
Babcock
347
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:26,660
--won't be poisoning you
this evening?
348
00:15:28,133 --> 00:15:29,383
[CHUCKLES]
349
00:15:29,416 --> 00:15:31,660
You know what
I think, Niles?
350
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:33,133
I think you're
jealous.
351
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:34,400
You know why he doesn't
come home for dinner?
352
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:37,133
You don't keep it
interesting.
353
00:15:37,166 --> 00:15:40,400
For 20 years, it's
the same old recipes.
354
00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:42,216
Let's face it,
Niles...
355
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:43,216
You let
yourself go.
356
00:15:46,283 --> 00:15:47,433
He's bored.
357
00:15:51,233 --> 00:15:54,283
Oh, don't listen to her.
358
00:15:54,316 --> 00:15:56,466
I bet when he's eating
her coq au vin,
359
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,466
he's fantasizing about yours.
Mm.
360
00:16:00,283 --> 00:16:02,283
Well, I'm not worried.
361
00:16:02,316 --> 00:16:04,330
You think this is
the first time he's strayed?
362
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,200
But he's always home
for breakfast.
363
00:16:14,416 --> 00:16:16,166
C.C.:
Maxwell!
364
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,250
[GROANS]
365
00:16:17,283 --> 00:16:18,466
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, I'm--
366
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,000
I'm really concerned
about you.
367
00:16:21,330 --> 00:16:22,250
You don't look well
at all.
368
00:16:22,283 --> 00:16:24,500
Really?
369
00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:25,133
Well, maybe
I should stay home.
370
00:16:25,166 --> 00:16:26,830
Oh, what am I,
a doctor?
371
00:16:26,116 --> 00:16:26,483
Go. Go.
372
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:37,100
WOMAN [ON PA]:
Dr. Warner,
373
00:16:37,133 --> 00:16:38,466
wanted
in Radiology, please.
374
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:39,466
Dr. Warner...
375
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:50,483
Okay, I need
a candy striper
376
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,333
to stay
an extra hour.
377
00:16:53,366 --> 00:16:54,400
You. You don't
look like you have a curfew.
378
00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,450
Do you think that's
appropriate
for work?
379
00:16:59,483 --> 00:17:00,333
Uh...
380
00:17:03,466 --> 00:17:05,116
[CLEARS THROAT]
381
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,450
Works for him.
[LAUGHS]
382
00:17:07,483 --> 00:17:09,333
Take these to
the linen supply room.
383
00:17:16,330 --> 00:17:17,483
[PHONE RINGS]
384
00:17:21,150 --> 00:17:23,183
[RINGING]
385
00:17:24,350 --> 00:17:25,283
Hello?
386
00:17:27,383 --> 00:17:29,333
Ma, how did you
find me here?
387
00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:32,400
Well, what's
the emergency?
388
00:17:34,433 --> 00:17:37,660
Ma, Mike Douglas
isn't on Channel 4
389
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:41,250
because they canceled him
22 years ago.
390
00:17:41,283 --> 00:17:44,483
Would you spring
for a newTV Guide
391
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,283
[DOOR OPENS]
DOCTOR: Don't worry.
392
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:46,450
It's just
his appendix.
393
00:17:48,466 --> 00:17:50,133
It's a very routine
operation.
394
00:17:50,166 --> 00:17:51,216
You're gonna be fine,
Mr. Sheffield.
395
00:17:54,233 --> 00:17:56,830
Now, you just relax.
396
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:57,100
I promise no more pain
until you get my bill.
397
00:17:57,133 --> 00:17:58,660
[CHUCKLES WEAKLY]
398
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:03,383
Okay, pleasant dreams.
Mm.
399
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,133
He'll be back in the room
in a couple of hours.
400
00:18:05,166 --> 00:18:05,416
Are you the wife?
401
00:18:07,183 --> 00:18:08,160
Yes.
402
00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:27,200
Nurse, help me
prep for surgery.
403
00:18:27,233 --> 00:18:28,200
Uh...
404
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,300
Okay.
405
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:31,400
You look good.
406
00:18:31,433 --> 00:18:33,200
You're a doctor.
407
00:18:33,233 --> 00:18:34,350
[BLOWS]
You can do it.
408
00:18:34,383 --> 00:18:35,416
Not me.
409
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,830
The patient.
410
00:18:40,383 --> 00:18:42,466
[SINGSONGY]
Oh, Miss Fine.
411
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,200
Oh, yeah.
You're fine,
412
00:18:44,233 --> 00:18:45,350
I'm fine,
we're all fine.
413
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,216
Shave him.
414
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:56,283
All right.
415
00:19:04,416 --> 00:19:05,233
You're the doctor.
416
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:14,416
[HUMMING]
417
00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:18,500
[CONTINUES HUMMING]
418
00:19:18,830 --> 00:19:20,483
What are you doing?!
419
00:19:20,483 --> 00:19:22,400
Well, I have no idea.
420
00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:29,166
I mean, the man has
a slight 5 o'clock shadow,
421
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,300
but it's not like
he's going to a bar mitzvah.
422
00:19:32,416 --> 00:19:36,160
Shave him for surgery!
423
00:19:36,350 --> 00:19:38,300
Oh.
424
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:42,330
Well, where do you want me
to shave--?
425
00:19:42,330 --> 00:19:43,216
You know, I'll be
back in a minute.
426
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:44,233
I have a girl
that does a bikini wax--
427
00:19:46,233 --> 00:19:47,116
Now.
428
00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:52,133
All right.
429
00:19:57,250 --> 00:19:58,250
Oh.
430
00:19:58,283 --> 00:19:59,266
Oh. All right.
431
00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:02,500
Oh.
432
00:20:02,830 --> 00:20:08,366
[HUMS]
[MOANS, CHUCKLES]
433
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:15,100
[CONTINUES HUMMING]
434
00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:38,200
Bucking for a raise?
435
00:20:53,383 --> 00:20:55,483
Oh, Fran, the hospital
was awesome today.
436
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:57,100
Really, honey?
437
00:20:57,133 --> 00:20:58,333
There was this one guy
438
00:20:58,366 --> 00:21:00,350
with his eyeball
just hanging by a bloody vein.
439
00:21:04,150 --> 00:21:07,183
Miss Fine.
Oh, hi, Mr. Sheffield.
440
00:21:07,216 --> 00:21:09,216
Nice to see you up and around.
Thank you.
441
00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:11,433
Oh, Dad, your color's
looking really good.
442
00:21:11,466 --> 00:21:14,660
Let me just take
your pulse.
443
00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:15,350
Oh, my God!
What?
444
00:21:15,383 --> 00:21:16,300
Peter's picking me up
in 10 minutes.
445
00:21:19,483 --> 00:21:22,350
Well, even Dr. Quinn's
got a mountain man.
446
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,100
You know, Miss Fine,
I had the oddest
dream
447
00:21:28,133 --> 00:21:29,283
when I was going under
the anesthetic.
448
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,100
Oh. Really?
449
00:21:35,133 --> 00:21:38,350
Yes. I was
married to C.C.
450
00:21:38,383 --> 00:21:40,166
And you-- You--
You were my nurse.
451
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:43,000
[LAUGHS]
452
00:21:43,330 --> 00:21:45,160
Yeah, that's
the drugs.
453
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:47,216
Um, you know, when my mother
had her hysterectomy,
454
00:21:47,250 --> 00:21:49,266
she was convinced
455
00:21:49,300 --> 00:21:51,350
that the operation
was on60 Minutes.
456
00:21:53,283 --> 00:21:55,100
Yeah.
457
00:21:55,133 --> 00:21:57,133
Why Mike Wallace
would devote a whole segment
458
00:21:57,166 --> 00:21:58,283
to her uterus,
she never questioned.
459
00:22:00,116 --> 00:22:01,316
Yeah, I suppose
you're right.
460
00:22:01,350 --> 00:22:03,283
Drugs can play strange tricks
on the mind.
461
00:22:03,316 --> 00:22:04,366
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
462
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,500
Well, good night,
Miss Fine.
463
00:22:06,830 --> 00:22:07,150
Good night,
Mr. Sheffield.
464
00:22:07,183 --> 00:22:09,216
[HUMMING]
465
00:22:13,300 --> 00:22:15,160
Miss Fine!
466
00:22:27,133 --> 00:22:29,250
Brighton, how long
have you been there?
467
00:22:29,283 --> 00:22:31,660
Since, "Does this unhook
in the front?"
468
00:22:33,183 --> 00:22:35,233
Brighton. You liar.
469
00:22:35,266 --> 00:22:38,233
You love torturing
your sister, huh?
470
00:22:38,266 --> 00:22:39,416
Yeah, well, it's something to
do
until I get my license.
471
00:22:39,450 --> 00:22:41,216
Yeah, yeah.
472
00:22:41,250 --> 00:22:43,316
He has been
out of control
473
00:22:43,350 --> 00:22:45,150
ever since we scrambled
The Playboy Channel.