1 00:00:02,166 --> 00:00:03,383 MAXWELL: Yes, we're in Paris. 2 00:00:03,416 --> 00:00:06,200 Ms. Fine put a dog in my carry on 3 00:00:06,233 --> 00:00:08,166 then got herself stuck on the plane. 4 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,483 And, well, suffice it to say, we're here... 5 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,160 which I must admit is not entirely unpleasant. 6 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:19,330 [WOMAN SINGING IN FRENCH] 7 00:00:30,333 --> 00:00:34,150 For God sakes, I'm in Paris with a beautiful woman. 8 00:00:34,183 --> 00:00:36,150 -FRAN: Oh... -Come on, 9 00:00:36,183 --> 00:00:40,660 let's blow this nightclub and see where life takes us. 10 00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:42,266 [ROLLS TONGUE] 11 00:00:42,300 --> 00:00:45,133 FRAN:Apparently, French wine has a very low alcohol content 12 00:00:45,166 --> 00:00:47,350 because life took us right back to the airport. 13 00:00:47,383 --> 00:00:49,416 [FRAN GASPING] 14 00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:53,500 -What the hell was that? -Oh, just a little bump in the road. 15 00:00:53,830 --> 00:00:55,333 What, we hit a deer? We're in the air. 16 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,200 Oh, you have to picture yourself 17 00:01:01,233 --> 00:01:03,100 going along a little country lane 18 00:01:03,133 --> 00:01:05,150 with a few dips and potholes. 19 00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:09,366 -What the bloody hell was that? -Oh, Mr. Sheffield! 20 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,416 Mr. Sheffield, I just want you to know 21 00:01:11,450 --> 00:01:13,166 that these last three years 22 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:16,333 have been just the best years of my life. 23 00:01:16,366 --> 00:01:17,466 Oh! 24 00:01:26,266 --> 00:01:27,450 I love you. 25 00:01:33,283 --> 00:01:36,100 FRAN:Well, thank God it was just a little bump in the road 26 00:01:36,133 --> 00:01:38,150 and after three long years of working it-- 27 00:01:38,183 --> 00:01:42,400 I mean, working there-- I had finally gotten him to say it. 28 00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:45,450 Ms. Fine, before we go in, 29 00:01:45,483 --> 00:01:48,350 I think I should try to explain to you 30 00:01:48,383 --> 00:01:50,283 exactly what happened up there. 31 00:01:50,316 --> 00:01:52,433 Oh, it's okay. 32 00:01:52,466 --> 00:01:56,183 It was all that wine and escargot. 33 00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:58,150 These weren't good shoes anyway. 34 00:02:00,660 --> 00:02:01,250 Oh, no. No, no, no. 35 00:02:01,283 --> 00:02:03,160 Um, no. 36 00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,466 Uh, you know how it is when you're facing death, 37 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,266 how you sometimes say things without thinking? 38 00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:10,316 No. 39 00:02:12,483 --> 00:02:14,150 Ms. Fine, I thought we were spending 40 00:02:14,183 --> 00:02:16,416 our last moments on earth together up there 41 00:02:16,450 --> 00:02:22,266 and so that's why I, you know, said the thing. 42 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,166 The thing? 43 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,483 Yeah. You know, that I felt that way at that time in that place. 44 00:02:32,133 --> 00:02:35,133 Oh, my God, you're taking back the thing? 45 00:02:36,366 --> 00:02:38,416 Please, Ms. Fine, in the heat of the moment, 46 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,483 sometimes people just blurt things out. 47 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,183 You blurted prematurely? 48 00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:49,150 -Are you very upset? -No. No, I'll be fine. 49 00:02:49,183 --> 00:02:53,250 It's perfectly understandable. Please, don't touch me. 50 00:02:54,416 --> 00:02:57,830 [THEME SONG PLAYING] 51 00:02:57,116 --> 00:03:00,160 ♪♪ She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens ♪♪ 52 00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:01,250 ♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out ♪♪ 53 00:03:01,283 --> 00:03:03,000 ♪♪ In one of those crushing scenes ♪♪ 54 00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:05,660 ♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪ 55 00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:07,400 ♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪ 56 00:03:07,433 --> 00:03:10,150 ♪♪ So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door ♪♪ 57 00:03:10,183 --> 00:03:13,183 ♪♪ She was there to sell makeup, but the father saw more ♪♪ 58 00:03:13,216 --> 00:03:15,500 ♪♪ She had style! She had flair! ♪♪ 59 00:03:15,830 --> 00:03:19,233 ♪♪ She was there! That's how she became the nanny! ♪♪ 60 00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:22,000 ♪♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we've described ♪♪ 61 00:03:22,330 --> 00:03:24,216 ♪♪ Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪♪ 62 00:03:24,250 --> 00:03:26,000 ♪♪ Now the father finds her beguiling ♪♪ 63 00:03:26,330 --> 00:03:27,200 ♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪ 64 00:03:27,233 --> 00:03:28,300 ♪♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪♪ 65 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,450 ♪♪ Such♪♪ 66 00:03:29,483 --> 00:03:31,150 ♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪ 67 00:03:31,183 --> 00:03:35,233 ♪♪ When everybody else is wearing tan ♪♪ 68 00:03:35,266 --> 00:03:37,200 ♪♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪♪ 69 00:03:37,233 --> 00:03:39,830 ♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪ 70 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,483 Thanks, Fran. What a beautiful doll. 71 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,133 I know. 72 00:03:48,166 --> 00:03:50,830 You know, she's Marie Antoinette. 73 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:55,330 FRAN: There you go. 74 00:03:55,660 --> 00:03:56,483 And look at here, this is that restaurant 75 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,500 that your father promised to take me to, 76 00:03:59,830 --> 00:04:01,200 but then he changed his mind and took it back 77 00:04:01,233 --> 00:04:03,660 which he oft does. 78 00:04:04,266 --> 00:04:07,166 I had made reservations but the thing was she-- 79 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,266 There's that thing again. 80 00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:13,450 Fran, I have a report due for school. 81 00:04:13,483 --> 00:04:16,383 I'm supposed to pick a woman with an interesting career. 82 00:04:16,416 --> 00:04:19,100 Oh, Gracie, I don't know 83 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:22,350 if there's enough to write a whole report about me. 84 00:04:22,383 --> 00:04:25,330 There isn't. That's why I picked Ms. Babcock. 85 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,316 Nanny Fine, don't be hurt 86 00:04:29,350 --> 00:04:33,150 just because I'm closer to little Gretel than you are. 87 00:04:34,333 --> 00:04:36,283 Gretel never said that. 88 00:04:37,150 --> 00:04:39,266 Aren't we defensive. 89 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:42,660 There's nothing wrong with being just a pretty face. 90 00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:44,433 In fact, it's a plus if you have no skills. 91 00:04:44,466 --> 00:04:47,133 I've got skills. 92 00:04:47,166 --> 00:04:48,433 Nanny Fine, 93 00:04:48,466 --> 00:04:51,233 identifying what's in the Godivas 94 00:04:51,266 --> 00:04:54,330 without a guide is not a skill. 95 00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:56,316 Oh, nougat. 96 00:04:58,433 --> 00:05:01,366 Oh, come on, you must know the only reason 97 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,333 you got this job is because of your looks. 98 00:05:03,366 --> 00:05:06,160 Hey, hey, that is not true. 99 00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:09,000 I got this job because I lied on my resumé. 100 00:05:10,350 --> 00:05:12,366 Men of Maxwell's class enjoy 101 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,283 keeping women like you around to flirt with. 102 00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:18,300 Well, you know, you're right. 103 00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:21,333 Now, that's bad because... 104 00:05:23,316 --> 00:05:26,160 He doesn't respect you. 105 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,116 Don't you know why you get away with murders? 106 00:05:28,150 --> 00:05:30,500 It's because of those skimpy little outfits 107 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,433 you bounce around in. It's offensive. 108 00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:37,250 But just out of curiosity, say you were being sued for, 109 00:05:37,283 --> 00:05:39,416 oh, choking a choreographer, 110 00:05:41,366 --> 00:05:43,200 what would you wear to court? 111 00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:49,333 Oh, Maxwell, what an ordeal this flight was. 112 00:05:49,366 --> 00:05:52,166 I can't imagine anything more terrifying. 113 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,160 Booga. Booga. Booga. 114 00:06:01,133 --> 00:06:05,330 C.C., I do hope Chester wasn't too traumatized by his trip. 115 00:06:05,660 --> 00:06:08,150 Although, he didn't seem to mind being in his little travel bag. 116 00:06:08,183 --> 00:06:09,400 Ooh! 117 00:06:11,133 --> 00:06:13,150 Forgot to unpack him, didn't you? 118 00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:16,133 No. 119 00:06:16,166 --> 00:06:17,416 Angelica, you know that suitcase 120 00:06:17,450 --> 00:06:19,366 in my closet that you said was growling 121 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,150 and I called you an insane old witch? 122 00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:25,100 Niles. Niles, I want you to order 123 00:06:25,133 --> 00:06:26,450 some flowers for Ms. Fine. 124 00:06:26,483 --> 00:06:31,160 Make it two dozen Sterling roses, long-stemmed. 125 00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:33,400 Ooh. Somebody was so very bad. 126 00:06:35,416 --> 00:06:36,433 What did you do? 127 00:06:36,466 --> 00:06:38,333 -Shall I close the door? -Yes. 128 00:06:38,366 --> 00:06:41,383 Just make sure you're on the other side of it. 129 00:06:41,416 --> 00:06:45,233 Come on, sir, the little crumbs you throw me, I live on. 130 00:06:48,830 --> 00:06:49,266 I just have to make up for something 131 00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:51,133 I said to Ms. Fine on the airplane. 132 00:06:51,166 --> 00:06:54,000 -What did you say? -None of your bloody business. 133 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:55,316 Was it about me? 134 00:06:58,366 --> 00:07:00,283 -No. -Fine. 135 00:07:00,316 --> 00:07:02,300 I'll find out anyway. I always do. 136 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,160 Oh, Ms. Fine, please do come in. 137 00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:09,500 Oh, if you're gonna smoke a cigar, 138 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,200 please let me snip the end off. 139 00:07:11,233 --> 00:07:14,216 In an odd way, I feel it'll make me feel better. 140 00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:22,483 Now, I wanna ask you something 141 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,116 that's very important, but it's private. 142 00:07:25,150 --> 00:07:27,250 So give me this lemon a minute. 143 00:07:29,183 --> 00:07:30,366 NILES: Ow! 144 00:07:34,250 --> 00:07:35,350 Mr. Sheffield-- 145 00:07:35,383 --> 00:07:37,316 Ms. Fine, what are you doing over there? 146 00:07:37,350 --> 00:07:39,150 Come on, come and sit on my desk. 147 00:07:39,183 --> 00:07:42,400 Annoy me. It'll be just like old times. 148 00:07:42,433 --> 00:07:47,160 You mean BT? Before the thing? 149 00:07:48,233 --> 00:07:51,400 Ms. Fine, how long are you going to torture me with this? 150 00:07:51,433 --> 00:07:53,283 I'm not gonna torture you about it. 151 00:07:53,316 --> 00:07:56,330 That's why I came in here to tell you that I'm over it. 152 00:07:56,660 --> 00:07:57,150 Oh, really? 153 00:07:57,183 --> 00:07:59,466 No, took it back. How's it feel? 154 00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:07,216 Please, Ms. Fine, Cats is opening in 14 new cities. 155 00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:10,150 I don't feel very strong right now. 156 00:08:10,183 --> 00:08:13,100 All right, let me ask you this one question: 157 00:08:13,133 --> 00:08:17,416 When you hired me, did you think I was just attractive? 158 00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:21,216 Absolutely not. 159 00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:26,116 I thought you're beautiful, stunning, drop-dead gorgeous. 160 00:08:27,416 --> 00:08:29,433 How dare you! 161 00:08:29,466 --> 00:08:32,350 Why do you keep trying to hurt me like this? 162 00:08:36,330 --> 00:08:38,316 NILES [ON SPEAKER]: It got quiet. Are they talking about me? 163 00:08:45,216 --> 00:08:49,216 Oh, I can't believe I'm back in the meat market again. 164 00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:50,400 It's so sad. 165 00:08:50,433 --> 00:08:52,300 I mean, the best years of my life 166 00:08:52,333 --> 00:08:54,216 and I spend 90 percent of them with-- 167 00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:57,200 With a guy who kisses you passionately and takes it back, 168 00:08:57,233 --> 00:08:59,266 asks to marry you, takes it back. 169 00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:01,116 Tells you he loves you, takes it-- 170 00:09:01,150 --> 00:09:04,200 I was gonna say talking with you, Val. 171 00:09:04,233 --> 00:09:07,416 But thanks for the post-game wrap up. 172 00:09:07,450 --> 00:09:11,160 You know, the reason why he keeps taking it back is 173 00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:15,100 because I'm nothing but a pretty play thing to him. 174 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:19,150 I mean, he doesn't take me seriously. 175 00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:23,830 Can I have a double apricot sour rimmer with Sweet'N Low? 176 00:09:25,266 --> 00:09:27,116 Come on, let's go get a table 177 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:30,200 -before some other yutz tries to pick me up. -Yeah. 178 00:09:30,233 --> 00:09:32,000 Too late, ladies. 179 00:09:40,316 --> 00:09:44,333 Hi. I'm Jack. Would you mind if I bought you a drink? 180 00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:47,100 Do you mind? We really wanna be alone. 181 00:09:47,133 --> 00:09:49,100 -VAL: Yeah. -What is it with guys? 182 00:09:49,133 --> 00:09:51,266 Why do they always think just because you're at a singles bar 183 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:53,416 in a cute top, a tight skirt and stiletto heels, 184 00:09:53,450 --> 00:09:55,233 you're looking for action? 185 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:58,150 Well, why do women think 186 00:09:58,183 --> 00:10:00,660 that guys expect them to jump into bed 187 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,266 every time they try and buy them a drink? 188 00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:05,233 Now, potato skins, I get you both. 189 00:10:07,233 --> 00:10:10,500 -I don't think so. -Speak for yourself. 190 00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:12,383 I haven't had a potato skin in three years. 191 00:10:15,116 --> 00:10:18,183 No, seriously, you sound like a very nice woman. 192 00:10:18,216 --> 00:10:20,316 And looks really don't matter to me. 193 00:10:20,350 --> 00:10:21,416 Yeah, right. 194 00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:23,466 You're only interested in me for my mind. 195 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,830 Like I haven't heard that bef... Actually, I've never heard that. 196 00:10:28,416 --> 00:10:31,166 I ordered a drink about 10 minutes ago. Bartender. 197 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,500 It's sitting right in front of you. What are you, blind? 198 00:10:35,350 --> 00:10:36,366 Yes. 199 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,183 A sympathy pick-up? 200 00:10:40,216 --> 00:10:42,660 Pretending to be blind 201 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:45,316 just so that you could take home a couple of college girls? 202 00:10:46,466 --> 00:10:48,316 College girls. 203 00:10:48,350 --> 00:10:50,300 Forgive me, I'm very sorry. 204 00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:52,200 Val, get a table. This could work. 205 00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,250 -I'll drink to that. -Whoa! 206 00:10:55,283 --> 00:10:56,450 Oh, watch it! Watch it! 207 00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:04,483 Yes, I'd like to order a pair 208 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:08,830 of the diamond earrings on page 12. 209 00:11:09,283 --> 00:11:10,350 What are you doing, sir? 210 00:11:12,366 --> 00:11:14,383 You know, for someone who's never bloody around 211 00:11:14,416 --> 00:11:16,100 when there's no toilet paper, 212 00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:17,283 you're certainly under foot enough. 213 00:11:19,466 --> 00:11:22,500 Just ordering something for Ms. Fine. 214 00:11:22,830 --> 00:11:25,000 Well, I really don't think that will make up for what you said. 215 00:11:25,330 --> 00:11:28,116 Oh, for God sakes, all I said was-- 216 00:11:28,150 --> 00:11:30,660 Ooh, hoo, hoo... 217 00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:33,330 Nice try. 218 00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,000 Oh, come on, sir, this is cruel. 219 00:11:35,330 --> 00:11:37,100 Have you no soul? 220 00:11:37,133 --> 00:11:40,400 There is a mean streak in you that is less than beguiling. 221 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:43,216 He told me what he said to you. Are you all right? 222 00:11:43,250 --> 00:11:46,660 -He told you? -Mm-hmm. 223 00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:48,316 Well, I just think that it's pretentious 224 00:11:48,350 --> 00:11:51,250 to get a butler from France. 225 00:11:51,283 --> 00:11:53,483 And what's gonna happen to you? 226 00:11:57,150 --> 00:12:01,330 I mean, who has money for a butler these days? 227 00:12:01,660 --> 00:12:02,150 Hello, hello. 228 00:12:02,183 --> 00:12:05,283 Oh, here, let me get that for you, ma'am. 229 00:12:05,316 --> 00:12:07,160 What a smashing suit. 230 00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:09,660 You look tired. May I draw you a foot bath? 231 00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:11,366 You know what? I can't do this. Why don't you just shoot me? 232 00:12:17,416 --> 00:12:19,150 Nanny Fine. 233 00:12:19,183 --> 00:12:21,316 Oh, I wish you could have been there 234 00:12:21,350 --> 00:12:25,216 with, the little one along. 235 00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:26,416 I'm more accessible. 236 00:12:26,450 --> 00:12:29,300 People think I have a soft, caring side, 237 00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:31,383 and then I've got'em! 238 00:12:36,133 --> 00:12:39,183 Oh, Fran, I never should have said I'd do my report on her. 239 00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:41,830 How can I take it back? 240 00:12:41,116 --> 00:12:42,366 Oh, ask your father. 241 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,300 He's the expert in that category. 242 00:12:45,333 --> 00:12:46,400 [DOORBELL RINGS] 243 00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:53,183 Oh, hi, Jack. Come on in. 244 00:12:53,216 --> 00:12:55,216 Did you have any trouble finding the place? 245 00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:57,350 -No more than usual. -[CHUCKLES] 246 00:12:59,266 --> 00:13:04,133 -Hi, handsome boy. -Oh, thank you very much. 247 00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:06,233 I wasn't quite sure about the suit. 248 00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:09,183 It is a suit, isn't it? 249 00:13:10,466 --> 00:13:14,133 -Come on in. Watch your step. -Oh. Oh, all right. 250 00:13:14,166 --> 00:13:16,183 You know what? Maybe I should stay with you. 251 00:13:16,216 --> 00:13:17,316 I wouldn't want to break anything. 252 00:13:17,350 --> 00:13:18,450 Oh, don't be ridiculous. 253 00:13:18,483 --> 00:13:20,133 You're not gonna break anything. 254 00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:21,400 [SHRIEKS] 255 00:13:21,433 --> 00:13:25,450 -Oh, Franny, I'm so sorry. -Oh... Oh, that's okay. 256 00:13:28,830 --> 00:13:31,000 Accidents happen. 257 00:13:31,330 --> 00:13:33,400 Oh, my God, Ms. Fine. 258 00:13:33,433 --> 00:13:35,200 What is this mess? 259 00:13:39,660 --> 00:13:41,483 Oh, excuse me. I had no idea you had a date. 260 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,283 I knew. How does it feel to be out of the loop? 261 00:13:48,166 --> 00:13:49,350 How do you do? I'm Maxwell Sheffield. 262 00:13:49,383 --> 00:13:52,660 -Hi, I'm Jack. -You certainly bounced back 263 00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:53,166 awfully quickly. 264 00:13:54,283 --> 00:13:57,100 Do you mind if we discuss this later? 265 00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:59,400 Fine. What time do you think you'll be home? 266 00:13:59,433 --> 00:14:02,216 Well, I think you lost the right to know that 267 00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:04,416 when you took back the thing. 268 00:14:04,450 --> 00:14:06,400 -Why are you always doing this to me? -You're determined to drive 269 00:14:06,433 --> 00:14:08,216 -that into to ground, don't you? -You give me such mixed messages. 270 00:14:08,250 --> 00:14:10,233 -I'm so confused. Just leave me alone! -I've come here to reconcile... 271 00:14:12,316 --> 00:14:15,283 -How do you do? I'm Niles. -Hi. 272 00:14:15,316 --> 00:14:18,330 Do you know what's going on between her and this guy? 273 00:14:18,660 --> 00:14:19,116 Why? What have you heard? 274 00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:22,830 [♪♪♪] 275 00:14:25,116 --> 00:14:28,116 Jack, you know, you are so well-adjusted. 276 00:14:28,150 --> 00:14:30,150 I mean, you have your own law firm 277 00:14:30,183 --> 00:14:34,500 and you sculpt and you sky dive. 278 00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:35,300 No, no, no. I had to give that up. 279 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:38,500 -Why? -The dog kept throwing up. 280 00:14:39,316 --> 00:14:42,350 [LAUGHS] 281 00:14:42,383 --> 00:14:44,333 I'm damn glad I met you. 282 00:14:44,366 --> 00:14:47,330 I mean, it's so nice to meet a guy 283 00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:49,830 that appreciates you for your inner self, 284 00:14:49,116 --> 00:14:50,350 and not just for the way you look. 285 00:14:50,383 --> 00:14:53,266 A '90s Jacqueline Smith. 286 00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:56,283 Well, it really doesn't matter to me. You can weigh a ton. 287 00:14:56,316 --> 00:14:58,660 I can't see you, Fran. 288 00:15:02,383 --> 00:15:06,300 You know, Mr. Sheffield just thinks of me as an object. 289 00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:09,316 I know. He's only attracted to you because of how you look 290 00:15:09,350 --> 00:15:11,416 and it really bugs you. 291 00:15:11,450 --> 00:15:14,350 I think you're just going out with a guy who can't see 292 00:15:14,383 --> 00:15:16,133 because you think you have something to prove. 293 00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:19,133 -That's not true. -Yes, it is. 294 00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:20,433 You're so hung up on this guy 295 00:15:20,466 --> 00:15:23,350 you've mentioned his name 35 times in the last hour. 296 00:15:23,383 --> 00:15:25,300 It's just that me and Mr. Sheffield-- 297 00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:27,183 Thirty-six. 298 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:31,350 You know, I really think that you should try and convince him 299 00:15:31,383 --> 00:15:35,300 that you're more than just a '90s Kate Smith. 300 00:15:35,333 --> 00:15:38,166 You know, I think that you should know someone a little better 301 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,433 before you start pegging them with such deadly accuracy. 302 00:15:43,350 --> 00:15:48,500 Oh, Jack, I'm so sorry. I really am using you. 303 00:15:48,830 --> 00:15:50,116 How can I ever make it up to you? 304 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,300 It's all right. 305 00:15:51,333 --> 00:15:55,330 Forget about it. Come on, I'll buy you a drink. 306 00:15:55,660 --> 00:15:57,433 Maybe I can even talk you into a plate of potato skins. 307 00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:01,400 You know, for your information, I am giving you 308 00:16:01,433 --> 00:16:03,283 such a dirty look right now. 309 00:16:04,416 --> 00:16:06,150 Oh, my. 310 00:16:06,183 --> 00:16:08,483 Oh, oh, oh. It's a bally. Here you go, kids. 311 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:10,233 -Here's your ball. -[YELLING] No, Fran! Don't throw the ball! 312 00:16:10,266 --> 00:16:11,466 Don't throw the ball! 313 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,350 [CRASHES] 314 00:16:13,383 --> 00:16:16,100 [♪♪♪] 315 00:16:18,330 --> 00:16:20,366 Fran, you're taking this pretty well. 316 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:24,660 Being dumped by a blind guy. 317 00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:28,333 Ma, don't you see, he has no idea what I look like. 318 00:16:28,366 --> 00:16:31,483 He dumped me for who I really am. 319 00:16:34,330 --> 00:16:35,433 [DOOR BUZZES] 320 00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:40,283 Oh, it's Pauly, the butcher. 321 00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:45,416 Hi, Pauly. 322 00:16:45,450 --> 00:16:48,830 Oh, is that a new apron? 323 00:16:48,116 --> 00:16:51,150 It makes you look so scwelt. [CHUCKLES] 324 00:16:52,150 --> 00:16:54,300 I put an extra breast in, 325 00:16:55,433 --> 00:16:59,660 not that you need any help in that department. 326 00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:02,116 [CHUCKLES] Oh, you're terrible. 327 00:17:05,383 --> 00:17:08,150 Ma, now I know why all the other kids 328 00:17:08,183 --> 00:17:09,400 were bringing Fluffernutters to school 329 00:17:09,433 --> 00:17:12,366 while I was bringing veal medallions on Wonder bread. 330 00:17:15,316 --> 00:17:19,266 You know, ma, when you flirt and use your looks like that, 331 00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,400 men do not respect you. 332 00:17:21,433 --> 00:17:24,416 What's with the women's lib all of a sudden? 333 00:17:24,450 --> 00:17:27,433 When did you become Gloria Estefan? 334 00:17:32,433 --> 00:17:35,216 That's Gloria Steinbrenner, ma. 335 00:17:38,466 --> 00:17:40,266 There is nothing wrong 336 00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:43,283 with a woman using her God-given gifts. 337 00:17:45,383 --> 00:17:47,100 Well, apparently, there is, 338 00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:50,233 because Mr. Sheffield thinks that he can say he loves me-- 339 00:17:50,266 --> 00:17:52,333 [GASPS] He said he loved you? 340 00:17:52,366 --> 00:17:54,483 Oh, that wonderful man. 341 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,166 He took it back. 342 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,133 I'll call Yetta. She'll put a curse on him. 343 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:05,250 Don't call Yetta, ma. 344 00:18:05,283 --> 00:18:07,150 I already left a message on her machine. 345 00:18:09,150 --> 00:18:14,250 -So why did he take it back? -Because he doesn't respect me. 346 00:18:14,283 --> 00:18:17,233 To him, I'm just another pretty face. 347 00:18:17,266 --> 00:18:19,400 Darling, that is crap. 348 00:18:23,383 --> 00:18:26,450 Ma, you don't know what you're talking about. Just drop it. 349 00:18:26,483 --> 00:18:30,350 He took it back because he's a basket case. 350 00:18:32,216 --> 00:18:33,450 All right, pick it up. 351 00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:38,160 We don't have the market on guilt, you know. 352 00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,400 Guilt over the late wife, guilt over the kids, 353 00:18:40,433 --> 00:18:43,450 guilt over marrying out of his class. 354 00:18:43,483 --> 00:18:46,350 Gee, ma, you know, I think you're right. 355 00:18:46,383 --> 00:18:49,116 It isn't me. It's him. 356 00:18:49,150 --> 00:18:52,200 I never realized how tortured and unhappy he is. 357 00:18:52,233 --> 00:18:54,366 Oh, this makes me feel so much better. 358 00:18:55,383 --> 00:18:57,500 [DOOR BUZZES] 359 00:18:57,830 --> 00:19:00,660 -Oy. It's the cable man. -Ma... 360 00:19:05,483 --> 00:19:07,183 This one's on me. 361 00:19:09,330 --> 00:19:10,366 You want free Cinemax? 362 00:19:14,183 --> 00:19:17,300 [SLOW MUSIC PLAYING] 363 00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:20,150 Oh, here you are. 364 00:19:20,183 --> 00:19:21,250 Why don't you come inside? 365 00:19:21,283 --> 00:19:22,383 We're about to watchTwister 366 00:19:22,416 --> 00:19:24,216 on the Movie Channel. 367 00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:27,183 -We don't get that. -We do now. 368 00:19:30,330 --> 00:19:33,830 Listen, I've been thinking about what happened, 369 00:19:33,116 --> 00:19:37,316 and...I understand. 370 00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:39,466 -You do? -Mm-hmm. 371 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,350 You're emotionally fucocked. 372 00:19:46,660 --> 00:19:48,333 Well, that's a little harsh, Ms. Fine. 373 00:19:48,366 --> 00:19:50,433 Just a little fordray. 374 00:19:52,216 --> 00:19:53,300 Maybe famished. 375 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:59,330 All I'm saying is that you are afraid of your feelings 376 00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:01,100 so you just relate to me superficially. 377 00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:04,300 I mean, we flirt, we play games. I prance around in short skirts. 378 00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:06,150 You let me get away with anything. 379 00:20:06,183 --> 00:20:07,366 What? 380 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,333 You get into more trouble than the children, Ms. Fine. 381 00:20:10,366 --> 00:20:12,216 I punished you just last week. 382 00:20:14,416 --> 00:20:16,500 Oh, yeah. 383 00:20:16,830 --> 00:20:18,100 That was when you made me take those shoes back 384 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:20,166 that I said I bought for Maggie. 385 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:21,333 Right. 386 00:20:21,366 --> 00:20:23,416 Just like those, only a different color. 387 00:20:23,450 --> 00:20:26,150 Ah...yeah. 388 00:20:28,316 --> 00:20:30,483 In fact, you know, Ms. Fine, you're right. 389 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,300 I am afraid. That's, that's why I took it back. 390 00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,000 I know. 391 00:20:36,330 --> 00:20:38,150 I've only really been in love once in my life before 392 00:20:38,183 --> 00:20:40,450 and when my wife died, I... 393 00:20:40,483 --> 00:20:43,466 Well, I'm just afraid of going through all that pain again. 394 00:20:46,133 --> 00:20:48,250 I mean, what if it didn't work out between us? 395 00:20:48,283 --> 00:20:49,416 What about the children? 396 00:20:49,450 --> 00:20:52,330 Well, it would be hard at first, 397 00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:54,366 but we'd let you come visit us on weekends. 398 00:20:57,330 --> 00:21:00,250 Oh, Ms. Fine, what if something happened between us? 399 00:21:00,283 --> 00:21:02,483 It could ruin everything we have. 400 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,166 Or it could add a whole another dimension 401 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,100 that wouldn't be entirely unpleasant. 402 00:21:08,133 --> 00:21:10,160 Or it could ruin it. 403 00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:11,350 It's happened before. 404 00:21:12,450 --> 00:21:15,100 So, we agree then. 405 00:21:16,166 --> 00:21:18,283 -Friends? -Friends. 406 00:21:38,216 --> 00:21:40,166 -Friends. -Friends. 407 00:21:54,216 --> 00:22:00,166 -So why did he take it back? -Because he doesn't respect me. 408 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:01,383 He... 409 00:22:01,416 --> 00:22:03,433 [LAUGHS] 410 00:22:03,466 --> 00:22:05,266 We don't have the... 411 00:22:07,433 --> 00:22:10,216 And I just popped another piece of cake in my mouth. 412 00:22:10,250 --> 00:22:12,160 What's wrong with me? 413 00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:13,250 [DOOR BUZZES] 414 00:22:13,283 --> 00:22:16,250 -Oy. It's the cable man. -Ma... 415 00:22:21,450 --> 00:22:25,266 This one's on me. Want some free Cinemax? 416 00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:27,166 [BOTH LAUGHING] 417 00:22:30,416 --> 00:22:32,433 Who are these people? 418 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,333 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING]