1 00:00:03,433 --> 00:00:05,233 Oh, I can't believe we're here to see 2 00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:07,330 the Rosie O'Donnell Show. 3 00:00:15,166 --> 00:00:17,366 After his incredibly memorable performance 4 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,000 in the hit film Four Weddings and a Funeral, 5 00:00:20,330 --> 00:00:21,316 our first guest has gone on to become 6 00:00:21,350 --> 00:00:23,266 one of today's hottest movie stars. 7 00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:26,500 His new movie,Extreme Measures, opens next Friday. 8 00:00:26,830 --> 00:00:28,100 Please say hello to Hugh Grant. 9 00:00:28,133 --> 00:00:33,133 [AUDIENCE CHEERING; BAND PLAYING INTRO FLOURISH] 10 00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:35,500 HUGH: Hey, what's up? 11 00:00:36,283 --> 00:00:37,400 -HUGH: Thank you. -ROSIE: Hello. 12 00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:40,500 -HUGH: Hi. -ROSIE: How are you? 13 00:00:40,830 --> 00:00:41,350 You shot it here in New York? 14 00:00:41,383 --> 00:00:43,233 We shot most of it here in New York. 15 00:00:43,266 --> 00:00:46,150 Yeah, that's an experience. I mean, it's a nice experience. 16 00:00:46,183 --> 00:00:49,500 Don't get me wrong, but just, it took some adjustment. 17 00:00:49,830 --> 00:00:50,300 I'm used to English film sets 18 00:00:50,333 --> 00:00:52,416 where everyone's very very nice to you all the time. 19 00:00:52,450 --> 00:00:54,660 "Hello love, can I get you anything? 20 00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:55,366 A cup of tea, doughnut?" That kind of stuff. 21 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,500 -Right. -And, here, I find myself 22 00:00:57,830 --> 00:00:59,316 getting cups of tea and doughnuts for the drivers. 23 00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:01,266 [ALL LAUGH] 24 00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:03,450 Oh, is he to die for or what? 25 00:01:03,483 --> 00:01:08,100 Oh, that thick head of hair and that adorable English accent. 26 00:01:08,133 --> 00:01:10,000 Me stuck in the house all day. 27 00:01:10,330 --> 00:01:12,100 Where am I ever gonna meet a guy like that? 28 00:01:13,266 --> 00:01:15,200 [AUDIENCE CHEERING; BAND PLAYING INTRO FLOURISH] 29 00:01:16,433 --> 00:01:18,383 All right. We're back. 30 00:01:18,416 --> 00:01:22,116 Thanks. I'm on TV, huh, buddy. 31 00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:23,450 Stifle. 32 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:26,233 That's my lovely assistant telling me 33 00:01:26,266 --> 00:01:28,383 my son will not go down for his nap. 34 00:01:28,416 --> 00:01:32,483 Put on C-SPAN, those senators put each other to sleep. 35 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,660 [AUDIENCE LAUGHS] 36 00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:37,266 That's pretty funny. Who said that? 37 00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:38,466 Try that, try that. 38 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,416 -Stand up. -Oh, look, I'm on the monitor. 39 00:01:41,450 --> 00:01:45,116 Oh, good, the camera puts 10 pounds on the hair too. 40 00:01:45,150 --> 00:01:46,250 -ROSIE: Hey. -FRAN: Hi. 41 00:01:46,283 --> 00:01:48,200 ROSIE: Hi. How are you? 42 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,266 -I'm good. Thank you. -What's your name? 43 00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:54,350 -Fran Fine. Fran Fine, Miss Rosie O'Donnell. -[CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY] 44 00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:59,500 You know, it's two for one on Saturday at Pathmark. 45 00:01:59,830 --> 00:02:02,830 I like glossy, but if you like a matte finish-- 46 00:02:02,116 --> 00:02:05,160 Listen, I'm not Sally Jessy. I can't pretend I care, okay? 47 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,166 -Oh, okay. -All right. 48 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,350 How many kids you got, Fran? 49 00:02:07,383 --> 00:02:11,416 Kids? No. I mean, all the whining and the diapers 50 00:02:11,450 --> 00:02:13,283 and the schlepping, please. 51 00:02:13,316 --> 00:02:14,450 Oh, yeah? What do you do for a living? 52 00:02:14,483 --> 00:02:16,483 -I'm a nanny. -[AUDIENCE LAUGHS] 53 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:18,300 So you're-- 54 00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:20,316 Let's see what this is. Emergency. 55 00:02:20,350 --> 00:02:22,266 Hey, Fran, your trick worked. 56 00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:25,183 Two minutes with C-SPAN, my son's out like a light. 57 00:02:25,216 --> 00:02:26,483 Of course, watching all those senators, 58 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:28,350 he now has a hooker in the crib with him. 59 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,283 That's funny. 60 00:02:32,316 --> 00:02:35,383 You're funny. I like your laugh. Listen, now why don't you meet me 61 00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:37,416 in my dressing room after the show, we could talk? 62 00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:39,366 Oh, my God. This is incredible. 63 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:42,400 I swear I have dreamed of this exact moment 64 00:02:42,433 --> 00:02:45,116 only my outfit was tighter, my hair was bigger 65 00:02:45,150 --> 00:02:47,266 -and you were Streisand but... -[AUDIENCE LAUGHS] 66 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,433 Yeah now what we think. Fran Fine, ladies and gentlemen. 67 00:02:49,466 --> 00:02:52,216 We'll be back with Chaka Khan right after this. 68 00:02:55,166 --> 00:02:57,350 [THEME SONG PLAYING] 69 00:02:57,383 --> 00:03:00,283 ♪♪ She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens ♪♪ 70 00:03:00,316 --> 00:03:02,160 ♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out ♪♪ 71 00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:03,266 ♪♪ In one of those crushing scenes ♪♪ 72 00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:05,333 ♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪ 73 00:03:05,366 --> 00:03:08,200 ♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪ 74 00:03:08,233 --> 00:03:10,450 ♪♪ So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door ♪♪ 75 00:03:10,483 --> 00:03:13,483 ♪♪ She was there to sell makeup, but the father saw more ♪♪ 76 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:15,350 ♪♪ She had style! She had flair! ♪♪ 77 00:03:15,383 --> 00:03:20,330 ♪♪ She was there! That's how she became the nanny! ♪♪ 78 00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:22,300 ♪♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we've described ♪♪ 79 00:03:22,333 --> 00:03:25,160 ♪♪ Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪♪ 80 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:26,300 ♪♪ Now the father finds her beguiling ♪♪ 81 00:03:26,333 --> 00:03:28,000 ♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪ 82 00:03:28,330 --> 00:03:29,100 ♪♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪♪ 83 00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:30,283 ♪♪ Such♪♪ 84 00:03:30,316 --> 00:03:31,483 ♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪ 85 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:36,330 ♪♪ When everybody else is wearing tan ♪♪ 86 00:03:36,660 --> 00:03:38,000 ♪♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪♪ 87 00:03:38,330 --> 00:03:39,416 ♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪ 88 00:03:42,233 --> 00:03:45,133 I can't believe we're in Rosie O'Donnell's dressing room. 89 00:03:45,166 --> 00:03:47,450 I'm so nervous, I don't know what to do with myself. 90 00:03:47,483 --> 00:03:49,400 You know, I'm doing what any real fan would do. 91 00:03:49,433 --> 00:03:51,266 I'm going through her stuff. 92 00:03:52,283 --> 00:03:55,283 Oh, wow, she really does shop at Kmart. 93 00:03:55,316 --> 00:03:57,316 Hey, where's my favorite nanny? 94 00:03:57,350 --> 00:03:59,250 Hey, how's the professor? 95 00:03:59,283 --> 00:04:01,383 [BOTH LAUGH HYSTERICALLY] 96 00:04:01,416 --> 00:04:03,283 You're going through my stuff, aren't you? 97 00:04:03,316 --> 00:04:05,233 Me? Oh, uh... 98 00:04:05,266 --> 00:04:08,200 No. No. This is hers. Here, honey. 99 00:04:10,830 --> 00:04:11,416 She went through your stuff. 100 00:04:13,450 --> 00:04:16,100 Oh, I'd like you to meet my best friend, Val. 101 00:04:16,133 --> 00:04:18,216 Oh, I loved you in Misery. 102 00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:22,000 When you broke James Caan's legs, I was screaming. 103 00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:23,116 Yeah, thanks. 104 00:04:23,150 --> 00:04:24,400 You know, I won an Oscar for that performance. 105 00:04:24,433 --> 00:04:27,100 -[MOUTHING] I know. -This is Gracie, 106 00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:29,366 one of the three beautiful children that I take care of. 107 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,500 Hi, Gracie. 108 00:04:31,830 --> 00:04:33,416 You know, I care about them more than myself. 109 00:04:33,450 --> 00:04:34,483 Yeah, where are the other two? 110 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:36,830 Oh, I swiped their tickets 111 00:04:36,116 --> 00:04:38,300 so me and Val could get in. 112 00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:40,400 Hey, Fran, I was talking to my producer outside. 113 00:04:40,433 --> 00:04:43,150 What do you think about doing a weekly spot on the show? 114 00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:44,250 You know, about childcare. 115 00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:46,116 Oh, my God. 116 00:04:46,150 --> 00:04:50,450 Me on the Rosie O'Donnell Show in front of millions of people? 117 00:04:50,483 --> 00:04:52,483 What's your male demographic? 118 00:04:54,433 --> 00:04:56,266 Hmm. You know, you're perfect for TV. 119 00:04:56,300 --> 00:04:57,433 You're funny, you're beautiful, 120 00:04:57,466 --> 00:04:59,350 and you obviously adore children. 121 00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:02,433 Oh, you know, I am a nurturer by nature. 122 00:05:02,466 --> 00:05:04,333 Fran, I have to go to the bathroom. 123 00:05:04,366 --> 00:05:07,116 Nanny's busy, honey. Cross your legs. 124 00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:13,333 Honey, let me be the one to tell your father 125 00:05:13,366 --> 00:05:15,166 about the job on Rosie O'Donnell. 126 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,466 He doesn't understand how I can juggle 127 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,000 a million things and still stay on the ball. 128 00:05:19,330 --> 00:05:20,383 [GASPS] Oh! Oh! 129 00:05:20,416 --> 00:05:22,660 Oh, oh. 130 00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:24,133 Your brother and sister didn't come with us today. 131 00:05:25,333 --> 00:05:27,450 Fran, did you tell Val not to tell anyone? 132 00:05:27,483 --> 00:05:30,200 Who is she gonna tell? I'm her only friend. 133 00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:34,283 [ALL TOGETHER] Congratulations! 134 00:05:35,166 --> 00:05:36,466 Val! 135 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,200 Oh, I'm sorry, but you are all going to have to leave. 136 00:05:40,233 --> 00:05:41,466 This isn't my house. 137 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,283 He's not home. 138 00:05:43,316 --> 00:05:44,383 Photo op. 139 00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:49,160 Oh, I can't tell you how this job 140 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:51,400 on the Rosie Show makes me so happy-- 141 00:05:51,433 --> 00:05:54,300 ♪♪ Birthday to you ♪♪ 142 00:05:54,333 --> 00:05:57,166 ♪♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪ 143 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,133 It's all right, Miss Fine. 144 00:05:59,166 --> 00:06:01,266 Niles told me all about it. 145 00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:02,333 [DOOR CLOSES] 146 00:06:02,366 --> 00:06:03,483 Why do you have to be such a yenta? 147 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,383 I am not a yenta. I'm just sucking up so he'll tell me 148 00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:09,416 what the thing on the plane on the way back from Paris was. 149 00:06:10,366 --> 00:06:12,166 Mr. Sheffield, you're not upset 150 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,116 that I'm gonna be working two jobs? 151 00:06:14,150 --> 00:06:16,383 Two jobs? What's the other one? 152 00:06:16,416 --> 00:06:18,000 Oh, here. 153 00:06:18,330 --> 00:06:19,150 Yes. 154 00:06:20,233 --> 00:06:23,183 Fran, you were born to be in front of the camera. 155 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,150 -It's in your genes. -FRAN: Oh... 156 00:06:25,183 --> 00:06:27,466 You know, I was gonna be a model, 157 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,166 but you know what stopped me? 158 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,416 What's in your jeans? 159 00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:38,830 -Mr. Sheffield. -Hmm. 160 00:06:38,116 --> 00:06:40,400 You know you're certainly being supportive. 161 00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:42,300 Ah. Well, Miss Fine, that's what I meant 162 00:06:42,333 --> 00:06:44,266 when I said we should be friends. 163 00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:46,166 You mean when you took back the thing. 164 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:49,830 NILES: The definition of the thing. 165 00:06:49,116 --> 00:06:52,300 Maxwell told Fran he loved her on the way back from Paris, 166 00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:56,100 then took it back. 167 00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:58,660 Miss Fine, friends should be supportive. 168 00:06:58,100 --> 00:07:00,116 They don't dwell on the past. 169 00:07:00,150 --> 00:07:01,466 Oh, yeah, they do. 170 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,233 I mean, you know, our people 171 00:07:04,266 --> 00:07:06,200 might have enjoyed Hogan's Heroes, 172 00:07:06,233 --> 00:07:08,133 but that doesn't mean that we're gonna go out 173 00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,400 and drive a Mercedes. 174 00:07:10,433 --> 00:07:12,466 All right. We may drive a Mercedes, 175 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,300 but it doesn't mean we're gonna fly Lufthansa. 176 00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:19,330 Unless we have mileage. 177 00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:20,416 Yes, yes, yes, all right. I get the point. 178 00:07:20,450 --> 00:07:23,500 You are never gonna forgive me for taking back the thing. 179 00:07:23,830 --> 00:07:26,250 -Well-- -What are you two doing airing your dirty laundry in public? 180 00:07:26,283 --> 00:07:28,450 Let's go into the office where we can be more private. 181 00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:36,416 Speak into the flowers. 182 00:07:36,450 --> 00:07:38,300 [BAND PLAYING "THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS"] 183 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:42,250 Please welcome America's favorite nanny, Fran Fine. 184 00:07:42,283 --> 00:07:44,466 [AUDIENCE APPLAUSE] 185 00:07:48,233 --> 00:07:50,250 [APPLAUSE CONTINUES] 186 00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:55,316 -FRAN: Oh, yeah. -ROSIE: All right. 187 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:57,100 Your first letter right now: 188 00:07:57,133 --> 00:07:59,283 "Dear Fran, my son sits too close 189 00:07:59,316 --> 00:08:01,300 "to our TV set when he's watching. 190 00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:04,000 What should I do?" From Mary in Dayton, Ohio. 191 00:08:04,330 --> 00:08:05,366 Uh. Well, Mary, here's the thing. 192 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,330 Get a bigger TV. 193 00:08:07,660 --> 00:08:09,300 This way his head'll be comparatively smaller 194 00:08:09,333 --> 00:08:11,333 and it won't block your view, honey. 195 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,383 [STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHS] 196 00:08:13,416 --> 00:08:15,830 MAN [ON RECORDING]: Good! 197 00:08:15,116 --> 00:08:16,400 [ROSIE AND FRAN LAUGH] 198 00:08:17,450 --> 00:08:20,283 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 199 00:08:25,433 --> 00:08:27,266 [INDISTINCT] 200 00:08:31,416 --> 00:08:33,350 This is from Jackie Hall in New Jersey: 201 00:08:33,383 --> 00:08:36,233 "Dear Fran, I choose not to breastfeed 202 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:39,250 but my husband thinks I should. What should I do?" 203 00:08:39,283 --> 00:08:41,283 Well, that depends, Jackie. 204 00:08:41,316 --> 00:08:43,160 Do you have any children? 205 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:46,160 [BOTH LAUGH] 206 00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:49,183 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING AND CHEERING] 207 00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:58,350 No. I can do no more. 208 00:08:58,383 --> 00:09:01,160 All right, one more. One more. 209 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,660 Thank you. 210 00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:09,160 Bye, everyone. I love you. I love you. 211 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,433 [PEOPLE CHEERING] 212 00:09:15,330 --> 00:09:17,283 [♪♪♪] 213 00:09:21,283 --> 00:09:23,250 You know, Maxwell, I think it's nice 214 00:09:23,283 --> 00:09:25,433 Nanny Fine's doing that little talk show thing. 215 00:09:25,466 --> 00:09:28,250 It gives us so much more time together. 216 00:09:28,283 --> 00:09:32,300 Our relationship has just grown by leaps and bounds. 217 00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:35,416 Miss Fine, you're back. 218 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,166 Oh, I do hope you've come to kibitz. 219 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,660 I do love it when we kibitz. 220 00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,450 I just wanted to say that, 221 00:09:40,483 --> 00:09:42,416 you know, I know I haven't been here a lot 222 00:09:42,450 --> 00:09:45,300 and I really feel guilty about it. 223 00:09:45,333 --> 00:09:48,383 And not just the usual low-level hum of guilt 224 00:09:48,416 --> 00:09:50,316 that every Jew feels. 225 00:09:50,350 --> 00:09:52,200 Oh, nonsense, Miss Fine. 226 00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:53,433 Just promise me one thing, though. 227 00:09:53,466 --> 00:09:57,160 -When you become famous, you won't forget us. -[FRAN CHUCKLES] 228 00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:58,183 Of course there are a couple of little things 229 00:09:58,216 --> 00:09:59,333 we can forget and move on, eh? 230 00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:03,000 No, no, no. We'll always have Paris. 231 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,183 Nanny Fine, do you mind, we were in the middle of something. 232 00:10:07,216 --> 00:10:08,466 This is a place of business. 233 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,330 Well, it's okay. 234 00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:13,183 I have a lot of messages to return. 235 00:10:13,216 --> 00:10:17,660 Look at this: "Procter & Gamble, Gerber, Pampers." 236 00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:20,333 What exactly does a national spokesperson do anyway? 237 00:10:21,416 --> 00:10:26,266 They get their best friend C.C. to be their agent. 238 00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:30,483 Well, you know, I really am too nice to negotiate big deals. 239 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,660 I guess I should have a ruthless, 240 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:36,500 blood-sucking leech on my side. 241 00:10:36,830 --> 00:10:38,133 I'll take that as a yes. 242 00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:40,466 What exactly does an agent get? 243 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,300 -You mean, you don't know? -No. 244 00:10:42,333 --> 00:10:44,150 -Fifty percent. -C.C. 245 00:10:44,183 --> 00:10:45,433 Okay. Forty percent. 246 00:10:47,116 --> 00:10:49,450 Miss Fine and Miss Babcock walking arm in arm. 247 00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:52,450 Isn't that one of the biblical signs of the Apocalypse? 248 00:11:01,433 --> 00:11:04,216 Fran, I thought you were gonna read me my book. 249 00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:07,266 Whoa, little girl. 250 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:10,483 If you can't read by now, start suing your school system. 251 00:11:12,283 --> 00:11:14,216 Nanny Fine, listen to this. 252 00:11:15,316 --> 00:11:17,383 "The children of St. Andrew's Orphanage 253 00:11:17,416 --> 00:11:19,416 "would love to meet you. 254 00:11:19,450 --> 00:11:23,450 I'm sorry we can't afford your personal appearance fee." 255 00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:26,000 [LAUGHS] Yeah, right. 256 00:11:26,330 --> 00:11:27,350 I'm sorry too. 257 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,333 Hey, what are you doing home so late? 258 00:11:32,366 --> 00:11:34,266 Well, I had detention. 259 00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:37,166 I thought someone was gonna come down to my school 260 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,000 sit on my teacher's desk, cross her legs, 261 00:11:39,330 --> 00:11:40,166 and get me out of it. 262 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,483 -Oh, B. -Quit whining. 263 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,183 Fran forgot to chaperon me on my date. 264 00:11:44,216 --> 00:11:46,660 You don't hear me complaining. 265 00:11:47,266 --> 00:11:49,000 A hickey, Maggie? 266 00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:52,330 Did you really think that you were gonna hide a hickey from me 267 00:11:52,660 --> 00:11:54,166 with a little pressed powder? 268 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,333 You need oil-base concealer. 269 00:11:59,183 --> 00:12:03,116 Oh, kids, I've been neglecting you. I'm so sorry. 270 00:12:03,150 --> 00:12:05,333 It's just because I've been so busy with Rosie, 271 00:12:05,366 --> 00:12:07,500 I'm forgetting everything. 272 00:12:07,830 --> 00:12:09,183 I don't even know how I get dressed in the morning. 273 00:12:09,216 --> 00:12:10,366 Oh, my God. 274 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,200 Oh, it's a thong. Okay. 275 00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:18,500 Now, children, I do hope we're not pestering Miss Fine. 276 00:12:18,830 --> 00:12:20,330 We've all gotta try to be a little more supportive. 277 00:12:20,660 --> 00:12:22,183 With her newfound celebrity, Miss Fine is bound 278 00:12:22,216 --> 00:12:24,500 to be a little less accessible to us. 279 00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:25,333 Now, run along. Go on. 280 00:12:25,366 --> 00:12:30,133 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, I'm just as accessible as I always was. 281 00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,500 [DOORBELL RINGS] 282 00:12:32,830 --> 00:12:33,400 I'm telling you, 283 00:12:33,433 --> 00:12:38,330 I'm still the same old schlub you met when I came here. 284 00:12:38,660 --> 00:12:40,500 Hi, Donny! 285 00:12:43,166 --> 00:12:45,133 Anyway... 286 00:12:45,166 --> 00:12:47,166 Donald Trump, I'd like you to meet-- 287 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,300 Oh, what am I talking about? 288 00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:53,216 All you handsome zillionaires know each other. 289 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,150 Donald. 290 00:12:55,183 --> 00:12:57,283 Maxwell Sheffield. How do you do? 291 00:12:57,316 --> 00:12:59,266 You know, Donald caught me on the Rosie Show 292 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,160 and invited me to a party at Elaine's for Demi 293 00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:05,200 who's on the cover of George, but I don't wanna name drop. 294 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:08,250 -See you in the limo. -All right. 295 00:13:08,283 --> 00:13:10,183 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 296 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,283 Hello. 297 00:13:13,316 --> 00:13:16,500 I told you not to call me on this line again. 298 00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:19,266 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 299 00:13:21,830 --> 00:13:22,483 That's better. 300 00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:29,483 Ah, you know, Mr. Sheffield, a lot of men in your position 301 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:33,366 would be very threatened by me running with movers and shakers, 302 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,400 rubbing elbows and God knows what else. 303 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:39,660 But not you. 304 00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:41,233 You're really happy for me. 305 00:13:41,266 --> 00:13:43,660 Now I know what you meant when you said 306 00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:45,250 you wanted us to be friends. 307 00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:47,500 Of course. 308 00:13:47,830 --> 00:13:49,366 I am very happy for you. 309 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,266 -Bye. -Bye. 310 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,450 Niles, fetch me a bottle of champagne, would you? 311 00:13:55,483 --> 00:13:57,333 To toast Miss Fine's success? 312 00:13:57,366 --> 00:13:59,450 No, to shoot my eye out with the cork! 313 00:13:59,483 --> 00:14:02,283 [♪♪♪] 314 00:14:09,133 --> 00:14:11,183 Come on, Nanny Fine. We don't wanna be late. 315 00:14:11,216 --> 00:14:14,100 Oh, you know, we're meeting Uma and Uda 316 00:14:14,133 --> 00:14:16,160 to see Emma with Oprah, 317 00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:19,483 then dinner with Kyra, Courtney and Keanu at-- 318 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,266 Oh, what's that place again? 319 00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:23,233 Oh, I'm so bad with names. 320 00:14:27,660 --> 00:14:29,300 Niles, hypothetically, 321 00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:34,160 if you cared very deeply for someone but feared losing them, 322 00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,266 what would you say to get them to stay? 323 00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:39,433 Oh, sir, I'm not going anywhere. 324 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,466 Not you, you blithering idiot. 325 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,216 Miss Fine. 326 00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:46,433 [DOORBELL RINGS] 327 00:14:48,350 --> 00:14:50,200 Aren't you gonna answer the door? 328 00:14:50,233 --> 00:14:52,466 Oh, is that what that bell is? 329 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,100 You know, I never knew that 330 00:14:54,133 --> 00:14:56,300 because I'm such a blithering idiot. 331 00:15:00,216 --> 00:15:03,316 Oh, thank God you're all right! 332 00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:05,660 Why shouldn't I be? 333 00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:06,416 -Give me a hug. -What? 334 00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:09,366 Oh, I was so worried. 335 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,216 Make yourself scarce. 336 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,250 Bubby Sophie came to her in a dream 337 00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:19,400 and told her you were gonna have a horrible accident. 338 00:15:19,433 --> 00:15:21,216 You rushed over here just because 339 00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:23,133 someone appeared to you in a dream? 340 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,266 Does everyone in your family 341 00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:29,330 take this Bubby Sophie thing seriously? 342 00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:31,660 They do if they know what's good for them. 343 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:36,166 She told me you were gonna come home from work 344 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:40,316 and kiss a perky brunette at the door 345 00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:44,183 and take a terrible fall over The Ottoman. 346 00:15:44,216 --> 00:15:48,316 Ma, that's the opening of The Dick Van Dyke Show. 347 00:15:48,350 --> 00:15:54,100 I'm telling you, it was in this very house. 348 00:15:54,133 --> 00:15:55,316 Look. 349 00:15:55,350 --> 00:15:57,133 Here's Ritchie. 350 00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:02,116 And there's Millie! 351 00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:05,266 [♪♪♪] 352 00:16:11,466 --> 00:16:13,416 FRAN: Oh, good night, Niles. 353 00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:15,350 Oh, I'm so full. 354 00:16:15,383 --> 00:16:17,660 You know what I want for breakfast tomorrow. 355 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:19,350 Just give me two Belgian waffles. 356 00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:28,150 [GROANING] 357 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,183 Mr. Sheffield. 358 00:16:36,216 --> 00:16:39,660 -Mr. Sheffield. Mr. Sheffield. -[GASPING] 359 00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:40,316 Where am I? 360 00:16:40,350 --> 00:16:43,160 Oh, Miss Fine, what are you doing here? 361 00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:46,366 Well, I heard moaning and screaming coming from your room 362 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,250 and I figured I should be a part of it. 363 00:16:52,266 --> 00:16:54,400 I just had a horrible dream. 364 00:16:54,433 --> 00:16:56,400 Calm down. 365 00:16:56,433 --> 00:17:01,330 Tell me what you dreamt, and I'll tell you what it meant. 366 00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:04,000 Well, I was at a party, 367 00:17:04,330 --> 00:17:08,116 some sort of a celebration for you. 368 00:17:08,150 --> 00:17:12,150 Do you know someone named Bubby Sophie? 369 00:17:12,183 --> 00:17:16,160 My Bubby Sophie came to you in a dream? 370 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,133 She was horrible, retched. 371 00:17:18,166 --> 00:17:20,160 They said she looked like me. 372 00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:22,116 With a fantastic body. 373 00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:25,433 Anyway, we were in a cemetery. 374 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:30,000 Everyone was having a great time. 375 00:17:31,266 --> 00:17:34,433 Just about to toast your success, 376 00:17:34,466 --> 00:17:36,500 when... 377 00:17:37,316 --> 00:17:41,660 Maxwell! 378 00:17:42,366 --> 00:17:44,830 ♪♪ What's this I hear ♪♪ 379 00:17:44,116 --> 00:17:46,383 ♪♪ About your nanny on a talk show? ♪♪ 380 00:17:46,416 --> 00:17:48,200 ♪♪ On a talk show ♪♪ 381 00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:49,466 ♪♪ Who's the schmuck ♪♪ 382 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,266 ♪♪ Who let her do this to your children? ♪♪ 383 00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:55,316 ♪♪ To your children ♪♪ 384 00:17:55,350 --> 00:17:57,333 ♪♪ I completely understand ♪♪ 385 00:17:57,366 --> 00:17:59,283 ♪♪ You taking back the thing ♪♪ 386 00:17:59,316 --> 00:18:01,100 ♪♪ Yes, the thing ♪♪ 387 00:18:01,133 --> 00:18:02,316 ♪♪ She should be so happy ♪♪ 388 00:18:02,350 --> 00:18:05,830 ♪♪ Just to have you as a friend ♪♪ 389 00:18:05,116 --> 00:18:07,150 ♪♪ And supportive! ♪♪ 390 00:18:07,183 --> 00:18:10,150 My Bubby said that? 391 00:18:10,183 --> 00:18:12,830 Sounds crazy, no? 392 00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:16,233 ♪♪♪ If your nanny stays on Rosie's show ♪♪ 393 00:18:16,266 --> 00:18:18,416 ♪♪ The kids will grow up wrong ♪♪ 394 00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:20,830 ♪♪ No ♪♪ 395 00:18:20,116 --> 00:18:23,283 ♪♪ Miss Babcock will get Max ♪♪ 396 00:18:23,316 --> 00:18:25,483 ♪♪ Fran'll stay single all her life ♪♪ 397 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:27,660 ♪♪ Oy ♪♪ 398 00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:28,433 ♪♪ Living with her mother! ♪♪ 399 00:18:28,466 --> 00:18:30,283 ♪♪ Living with her mother! Living with her mother! ♪♪ 400 00:18:30,316 --> 00:18:32,333 [ALL VOCALIZING] 401 00:18:32,366 --> 00:18:34,450 ♪♪ That's Fran's fate ♪♪ 402 00:18:34,483 --> 00:18:39,450 ♪♪ If she stays on Rosie's show! ♪♪ 403 00:18:39,483 --> 00:18:41,433 [ALL SHRIEK] 404 00:18:44,266 --> 00:18:46,366 Sorry, Miss Fine. Did I scare you? 405 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,350 Uh... Yeah, I'm terrified. 406 00:18:52,330 --> 00:18:55,330 So, what do you think this dream could mean? 407 00:18:55,660 --> 00:18:56,466 Oh, well, it's obvious. 408 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,160 Something horrible is gonna happen to me 409 00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:00,483 unless I quit the Rosie Show. 410 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:02,283 No way. 411 00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:05,330 You think? 412 00:19:05,660 --> 00:19:07,133 You know, you're absolutely right. 413 00:19:07,166 --> 00:19:08,383 Yeah. 414 00:19:08,416 --> 00:19:10,200 Thank God I don't buy into 415 00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:12,433 all that Bubby Sophie mishegoss. 416 00:19:12,466 --> 00:19:15,416 -What? -Mishegoss. 417 00:19:15,450 --> 00:19:17,266 It means crap. 418 00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:20,133 No. No, I mean, why don't you believe 419 00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:22,416 in Bubby Sophie like your entire family? 420 00:19:22,450 --> 00:19:26,000 Oh, you think I'm gonna make a life-altering decision 421 00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:28,830 based on some woman I never even met 422 00:19:28,116 --> 00:19:29,333 that comes to you in a dream? 423 00:19:29,366 --> 00:19:32,166 What am I, nuts? 424 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,383 Now, if Barbara had come to you in a dream... 425 00:19:35,416 --> 00:19:37,350 [SHUDDERS] 426 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,166 Oh. Don't do Funny Girl, sir. 427 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,433 Barbara's so obvious. 428 00:19:46,466 --> 00:19:48,383 Do Fiddler instead. 429 00:19:48,416 --> 00:19:50,000 [NILES SCOFFS] 430 00:19:50,330 --> 00:19:52,483 Sir, I said the whole dream idea was a ridiculous. 431 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,183 Stop underestimating Miss Fine's intelligence 432 00:19:55,216 --> 00:19:57,830 and be honest with her for a change. 433 00:19:57,116 --> 00:19:59,160 Tell her how you feel. 434 00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:01,400 Oh, my God. That's the thing. 435 00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:05,150 You told her how you felt and then you took it back. 436 00:20:05,183 --> 00:20:07,333 Oh, no. You'd never be that stupid. 437 00:20:10,166 --> 00:20:13,660 -Hi, Mr. Sheffield. -Oh, there you are, Miss Fine. 438 00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:15,383 Where have you been? Hanging with the hip crowd? 439 00:20:15,416 --> 00:20:17,166 No, visiting Yetta. 440 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:20,166 I was with the hip-replacement crowd. 441 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,183 But you know, she told me not to be so quick 442 00:20:22,216 --> 00:20:25,216 to blow off your dream about Bubby Sophie. 443 00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:27,183 She said that it was a sign 444 00:20:27,216 --> 00:20:29,283 that I wasn't meant to be in the limelight, 445 00:20:29,316 --> 00:20:34,000 and, you know, the kids need me, you need me. 446 00:20:34,330 --> 00:20:36,300 For the kids. Calm down. 447 00:20:37,466 --> 00:20:41,000 So I told Rosie that this week was gonna be my last show. 448 00:20:41,330 --> 00:20:44,333 Oh! Oh, well, that's your decision. 449 00:20:44,366 --> 00:20:48,000 And that's why I have an office and you clean it. 450 00:20:49,450 --> 00:20:51,350 -Got fired? -Yeah. 451 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,830 Wait till you see my replacement. 452 00:20:55,116 --> 00:20:57,383 They got this retired couple from Florida 453 00:20:57,416 --> 00:21:00,200 doing cheapo restaurant reviews. [SCOFFS] 454 00:21:00,233 --> 00:21:02,366 -MAN:It's $10.95 for a full dinner. -ROSIE:Yeah. 455 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:06,233 -Includes salad, soup, dessert, coffee. -Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. 456 00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:09,160 -And then if you go with four people-- -Yeah. 457 00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,830 -You get one free. -You get one dinner free. 458 00:21:11,116 --> 00:21:13,100 [STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND CHEERING] 459 00:21:13,133 --> 00:21:17,330 Can you believe they bumped me for these two characters? 460 00:21:17,660 --> 00:21:20,116 Please. My parents could do better. 461 00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:26,233 Here's the sketch, boss. 462 00:21:26,266 --> 00:21:28,350 I gotta get ready for my dream date. 463 00:21:28,383 --> 00:21:30,283 With who? 464 00:21:30,316 --> 00:21:32,283 Well, I don't know. 465 00:21:32,316 --> 00:21:34,183 I have to fall asleep first. 466 00:21:38,150 --> 00:21:40,400 -Laura. -[WEEPING] Sal. 467 00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:43,150 Hi, hon. I'm nearly done. 468 00:21:43,183 --> 00:21:46,500 Oh, darling, I hope you're not upset, 469 00:21:46,830 --> 00:21:49,830 but I did something I wasn't supposed to. 470 00:21:49,116 --> 00:21:53,333 Aw, honey, it couldn't have been that bad. 471 00:21:54,333 --> 00:21:56,116 What'd you do? 472 00:21:57,266 --> 00:22:01,250 I pushed our beds together. 473 00:22:03,433 --> 00:22:05,283 Come on. Let's go home. 474 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:12,200 Oh, no. 475 00:22:13,116 --> 00:22:15,366 You're not going anywhere. 476 00:22:16,366 --> 00:22:20,133 Alan wants to know what the thing is. 477 00:22:20,166 --> 00:22:25,266 [CRYING] Oh, my! 478 00:22:35,116 --> 00:22:37,183 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING]