1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,416 -Good morning. -Miss Fine, these were delivered for you. 2 00:00:03,450 --> 00:00:05,660 Oh, great. 3 00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:06,483 Ahh. Ms. Fine, filling in for your cousin 4 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:08,116 Mel the doorman again? 5 00:00:09,830 --> 00:00:12,400 I wish. Is that a cushy job or what? 6 00:00:12,433 --> 00:00:15,466 All he does is open doors and receive packages. 7 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,233 A baboon could do that. 8 00:00:18,483 --> 00:00:21,316 Well, of course, a highly trained baboon. 9 00:00:23,433 --> 00:00:25,133 Mr. Sheffield, what do you think? 10 00:00:25,166 --> 00:00:27,830 I'm gonna make some mingle at the Yacht Club today. 11 00:00:27,116 --> 00:00:28,283 -Yacht Club? -Uh huh. 12 00:00:28,316 --> 00:00:30,116 That's setting your sights high, isn't it? 13 00:00:30,150 --> 00:00:32,433 You know, I am not the same chick I was 14 00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:34,300 when I started here three years ago. 15 00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:37,000 I mean, I can't look for love in all the old joints, 16 00:00:37,330 --> 00:00:40,250 now that I've acquired so much class and panache. 17 00:00:41,383 --> 00:00:44,350 There's that Band-Aid that came off in the bathtub. 18 00:00:46,466 --> 00:00:49,133 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 19 00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:52,830 ♪♪ She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens ♪♪ 20 00:00:52,116 --> 00:00:53,316 ♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out ♪♪ 21 00:00:53,350 --> 00:00:55,200 ♪♪ in one of those crushing scenes ♪♪ 22 00:00:55,233 --> 00:00:57,166 ♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪ 23 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,500 ♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪ 24 00:01:00,830 --> 00:01:03,000 ♪♪ So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door ♪♪ 25 00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:05,333 ♪♪ She was there to sell makeup, but the father saw more ♪♪ 26 00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,433 ♪♪ She had style! She had flair! She was there! ♪♪ 27 00:01:07,466 --> 00:01:11,233 ♪♪ That's how she became the nanny! ♪♪ 28 00:01:11,266 --> 00:01:14,216 ♪♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we've described ♪♪ 29 00:01:14,250 --> 00:01:16,316 ♪♪ was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪♪ 30 00:01:16,350 --> 00:01:18,116 ♪♪ Now the father finds her beguiling ♪♪ 31 00:01:18,150 --> 00:01:19,316 ♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪ 32 00:01:19,350 --> 00:01:20,416 ♪♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪♪ 33 00:01:20,450 --> 00:01:22,133 ♪♪ Such♪♪ 34 00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,333 ♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪ 35 00:01:23,366 --> 00:01:26,400 ♪♪ when everybody else is wearing tan ♪♪ 36 00:01:27,450 --> 00:01:29,466 ♪♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪♪ 37 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,300 ♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪ 38 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:36,283 [♪♪♪] 39 00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:40,333 Sweetheart, thank God you're home. 40 00:01:40,366 --> 00:01:44,183 I have to warn you, you're in terrible danger. 41 00:01:44,216 --> 00:01:46,250 Did Niles make a noodle kugel? 42 00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:50,450 Ma, would you concentrate. Pretend you're full. 43 00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:54,660 Did Aunt Freida call? 44 00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:56,300 Yeah, she said her apartment was being painted. 45 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,830 So I said she could stay here. 46 00:01:58,116 --> 00:01:59,483 Oy! I am too late. 47 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,166 -She's been thrown out of her apartment, she is broke. -[FRAN GASPS] 48 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:05,350 They even took her nightclub to pay for her taxes. 49 00:02:05,383 --> 00:02:08,283 No more Freida's Le Freak? 50 00:02:08,316 --> 00:02:11,266 That place was like an institution. 51 00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:13,233 Has the city no soul? 52 00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:15,250 They're putting in a Loehmann's. 53 00:02:15,283 --> 00:02:18,116 Oh, you know, you really can't fight progress. 54 00:02:19,216 --> 00:02:21,266 She's hitting up everyone in the family 55 00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:22,400 for a place to stay. 56 00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:24,330 How could this happen? 57 00:02:24,660 --> 00:02:26,233 The woman's buried five husbands. 58 00:02:26,266 --> 00:02:30,183 You'd think that she can live off what she found in their old pants' pockets. 59 00:02:31,316 --> 00:02:34,383 What happened to Fred, her millionaire boyfriend? 60 00:02:34,416 --> 00:02:37,366 Well, she's afraid, if he knows that she's broke 61 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:40,433 he'll think that she's after him for his money. 62 00:02:40,466 --> 00:02:42,100 Well, isn't she? 63 00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:45,116 If she has a brain in that fat head of hers she is. 64 00:02:46,183 --> 00:02:47,283 Poor Aunt Freida. 65 00:02:47,316 --> 00:02:50,300 She came this close to making it as a singer... 66 00:02:50,333 --> 00:02:54,100 and her damn boyfriend Steve had to go meet Edie. 67 00:02:54,366 --> 00:02:56,200 [DOORBELL RINGS] 68 00:02:56,233 --> 00:02:59,183 Well, good luck getting rid of Freida now. 69 00:02:59,216 --> 00:03:03,500 She's like a Cesarean scar. You'll have her for life. 70 00:03:06,266 --> 00:03:09,183 -Fri. -Syl. 71 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,160 So how are Morty's mumps? 72 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:19,333 -They still contagious? -Very. 73 00:03:20,466 --> 00:03:23,133 Fred, get out of the car. 74 00:03:23,166 --> 00:03:26,333 He's so sweet but he's such a shmegegge. 75 00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:31,200 Fred, honey, pull the knob up. 76 00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:36,216 How could such ashmegegge become so rich? 77 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:39,250 This from a woman who voted for Ross Perot? 78 00:03:40,150 --> 00:03:42,160 Fred. 79 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:51,133 Fred, I'd like you to meet my sister-in-law, Sylvia, 80 00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:52,433 and her daughter, Fran. 81 00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,383 I'm Sylvia. 82 00:03:55,333 --> 00:03:56,366 I'm gonna go upstairs 83 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,333 and steam a couple of things. 84 00:03:58,366 --> 00:04:00,466 Fred, would you like to come in? 85 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,216 Oh, no, no. I'm fine out here. 86 00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:08,200 No, I've got a light, a chair. I don't want to be a bother. 87 00:04:08,233 --> 00:04:09,333 [DOOR CLOSES] 88 00:04:09,366 --> 00:04:12,160 What do you know, he's half Jewish. 89 00:04:13,416 --> 00:04:17,000 ♪♪ Will someone tell me when it is my turn ♪♪ 90 00:04:17,330 --> 00:04:19,330 ♪♪ Don't I get a dream for myself ♪♪ 91 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:23,383 ♪♪ Starting now it's gonna be Mr. Sandman ♪♪ 92 00:04:23,416 --> 00:04:28,000 ♪♪ Yes, bring me a dream, boom-boom-boom-boom ♪♪ 93 00:04:28,330 --> 00:04:31,216 ♪♪ I had a dream ♪♪ 94 00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:35,200 ♪♪ A dream about you and you and you ♪♪ 95 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,383 And you, who needed a little bite to eat, 96 00:04:37,416 --> 00:04:40,330 your 17-pound turkey is ready. 97 00:04:41,216 --> 00:04:43,100 Excuse me. I'm taking a short break. 98 00:04:43,133 --> 00:04:44,333 Enjoy the buffet. 99 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,300 Well, now that that's taken care of, 100 00:04:54,333 --> 00:04:57,283 I can go to my Yacht Club. 101 00:04:57,316 --> 00:04:59,150 Speaking of turkeys... 102 00:04:59,183 --> 00:05:04,233 how many arrangements does that human karaoke know? 103 00:05:04,266 --> 00:05:07,383 Well, that depends. Has she already done her tribute to Chaka Khan? 104 00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:12,450 C.C., would you mind leaving us alone for a moment? 105 00:05:12,483 --> 00:05:15,150 I'd like a word with the skipper. 106 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:22,216 Now, exactly how long is your aunt's engagement here going to last? 107 00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:25,116 Because we do have another act coming in 108 00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:27,830 from the Nanny Agency. 109 00:05:28,433 --> 00:05:31,266 Well, if you'll just retract those veins, 110 00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:34,330 I'll tell you a perfectly good explanation. 111 00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:35,450 There is no explanation 112 00:05:35,483 --> 00:05:39,233 why that woman is still in my house. 113 00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:45,416 A very wealthy and repressed man is in love with her, 114 00:05:45,450 --> 00:05:49,216 but he's not ready to commit. 115 00:05:56,450 --> 00:05:58,366 Well, that's understandable. 116 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:00,466 Uh huh. 117 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,100 You know... it's only fair 118 00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:04,250 that she give him plenty of time. 119 00:06:04,283 --> 00:06:07,100 And how much time are we talking? 120 00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:11,160 I don't know. Can't rush these things. 121 00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:14,416 Yeah, well, I hope he knows that he doesn't have forever, 122 00:06:14,450 --> 00:06:17,416 because she's not gonna wait around like some schlub 123 00:06:17,450 --> 00:06:20,150 since she can't even spit in this town 124 00:06:20,183 --> 00:06:24,150 without hitting some eligible classy guy. 125 00:06:24,183 --> 00:06:27,133 Well, good bloody luck to her catching one, 126 00:06:27,166 --> 00:06:30,466 because men seldom date women who say the word "schlub", 127 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:34,116 and rarely marry those who spit. 128 00:06:45,133 --> 00:06:47,450 Did your big fat ears get all that, Niles? 129 00:06:49,116 --> 00:06:50,400 It's just me, Daddy. 130 00:06:50,433 --> 00:06:54,830 -Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry. Do me a favor? -Mm-hmm? 131 00:06:54,116 --> 00:06:57,150 Tell the man with the big fat ears next to you, I'd like a drink. 132 00:06:58,233 --> 00:07:00,350 -He said he wants a-- -NILES: I heard him. 133 00:07:08,466 --> 00:07:11,250 Oh, thank you. Thanks. 134 00:07:11,283 --> 00:07:14,300 All right. All right. I'm leaving. 135 00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:16,830 What was that about? 136 00:07:16,116 --> 00:07:19,200 That woman tried to get in with a Xeroxed membership card. 137 00:07:19,233 --> 00:07:22,830 -It looked so phony. -Oh, my God. 138 00:07:22,116 --> 00:07:24,400 Well I'm surprised she didn't dip it in tea first 139 00:07:24,433 --> 00:07:26,200 to give it that aged look. 140 00:07:26,233 --> 00:07:28,466 Then you paste on one of those magnetic strips 141 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,100 from the back of an old Blockbuster's card 142 00:07:31,133 --> 00:07:34,350 before giving it that authentic look of laminating it. 143 00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:39,350 You wouldn't believe what people will do to marry up. 144 00:07:39,383 --> 00:07:42,400 Oh, boy, you know, that is so superficial. 145 00:07:42,433 --> 00:07:45,266 Give me a working man any day. 146 00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:48,000 -What do you do? -I'm a chauffeur. 147 00:07:48,330 --> 00:07:49,283 That seat's taken. 148 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:58,166 Oh! Fred. Oh, Fred. Hi. 149 00:07:59,433 --> 00:08:02,100 It's okay, Fred. You can talk to me. 150 00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:03,233 Oh, I don't want to bother you, 151 00:08:03,266 --> 00:08:06,500 you look like you're in the middle of something. 152 00:08:06,830 --> 00:08:08,660 Yeah, my childbearing years. 153 00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:12,160 Fred, come on over here, honey. 154 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:13,316 I didn't know you were a member. 155 00:08:13,350 --> 00:08:16,350 -Oh, yes, yes, for years now. -Oh. 156 00:08:16,383 --> 00:08:18,350 This is my favorite time of day. 157 00:08:18,383 --> 00:08:22,150 I love to come over and watch the bartenders cut the fruit. 158 00:08:23,466 --> 00:08:27,133 I don't know. When you're rich, they call it eccentric. 159 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:32,366 You know, Fred, I'm really glad I ran into you. 160 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:35,383 It's so obvious that, you know, you're a shy guy, 161 00:08:35,416 --> 00:08:39,100 but you really feel strongly about Freida. 162 00:08:39,133 --> 00:08:41,300 Why don't you pop the question? 163 00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:46,216 Oh! Freida would never marry me. She's so vibrant, sexy. 164 00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:48,300 I want whatever he's drinking. 165 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:54,116 -I really don't know what she sees in me. -Uh. 166 00:08:58,250 --> 00:09:00,166 It's your eyes. 167 00:09:02,383 --> 00:09:04,330 Besides, I could never give her 168 00:09:04,660 --> 00:09:06,150 the kind of life that she's used to. 169 00:09:06,183 --> 00:09:09,000 Parties, nightclubbing... 170 00:09:09,330 --> 00:09:11,830 I'm not a very exciting man. 171 00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:21,450 -I can't even-- -Oh, Fred, don't be embarrassed. 172 00:09:21,483 --> 00:09:23,450 You know, you can do other things. 173 00:09:23,483 --> 00:09:27,316 And, really, most women just like to cuddle. 174 00:09:30,283 --> 00:09:32,000 I was going to say dance. 175 00:09:32,330 --> 00:09:33,350 Ah. 176 00:09:33,383 --> 00:09:38,100 Well, that's good because that cuddle thing is a big myth. 177 00:09:39,266 --> 00:09:42,366 Oh, Fred, I can teach you how to dance. 178 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:46,450 A couple of private lessons, you'll sweep her off her feet. 179 00:09:46,483 --> 00:09:50,183 You must really love your aunt. She'd be moved. 180 00:09:50,216 --> 00:09:55,416 Well, moving my aunt is a big priority in my family. 181 00:10:00,416 --> 00:10:03,183 I should never have let you teach me to mambo. 182 00:10:03,216 --> 00:10:05,450 Oh, no, Fred, it's okay. 183 00:10:05,483 --> 00:10:07,133 You know, in China, 184 00:10:07,166 --> 00:10:09,316 women without toes are considered sexy. 185 00:10:10,283 --> 00:10:11,383 Well, let's face it, Fran, 186 00:10:11,416 --> 00:10:13,400 I'll never be known for my dancing. 187 00:10:17,416 --> 00:10:20,450 Nonsense, Fred. You're very light on your feet. 188 00:10:20,483 --> 00:10:24,433 I'm sure there was a pair of ski boots under here somewhere. 189 00:10:24,466 --> 00:10:26,350 Look, let's forget the whole thing. 190 00:10:26,383 --> 00:10:28,383 Oh, no, no. Fred, 191 00:10:28,416 --> 00:10:30,433 if you don't leave here with Freida, 192 00:10:30,466 --> 00:10:33,160 I will regret it for the rest of my life. 193 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:34,200 Did I say I? 194 00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:38,100 Let me demonstrate. Watch me. 195 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,200 One, two, three. One, two, three. 196 00:10:42,233 --> 00:10:45,133 Turn, turn, turn. Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy. 197 00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:49,830 Now, you try it. 198 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:51,116 [MAMBO MUSIC PLAYING] 199 00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:13,160 I'll never be as good as you. 200 00:11:13,466 --> 00:11:15,450 Don't compare yourself to me. 201 00:11:15,483 --> 00:11:17,483 I was onDance Fever. 202 00:11:20,166 --> 00:11:22,150 I'll just show you a couple of steps 203 00:11:22,183 --> 00:11:24,183 so you can fake it, okay? 204 00:11:25,366 --> 00:11:27,350 One, two, three. 205 00:11:27,383 --> 00:11:30,416 Hey, I kind of like that. 206 00:11:30,450 --> 00:11:32,160 You're getting it. 207 00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:33,830 Oh, whap! 208 00:11:33,116 --> 00:11:35,100 Now, just keep doing the same thing 209 00:11:35,133 --> 00:11:36,316 over and over again. 210 00:11:36,350 --> 00:11:38,466 -Oh, whap! -Well, not that. 211 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,233 That could get annoying. 212 00:11:41,316 --> 00:11:44,283 -Fran, wait. Ooh... -You're doing great. 213 00:11:44,316 --> 00:11:45,450 There's something's wrong with my arm. 214 00:11:45,483 --> 00:11:47,350 Worry more about your feet. 215 00:11:47,383 --> 00:11:49,183 -Really. -Fred, not so close. 216 00:11:49,216 --> 00:11:51,500 Don't tip me. Fred! 217 00:11:52,350 --> 00:11:55,483 Fred. Fred. 218 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,283 Hello, Fred. 219 00:11:58,316 --> 00:12:01,450 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 220 00:12:01,483 --> 00:12:05,116 Oh, my God. Oh! 221 00:12:05,150 --> 00:12:07,233 Oh, my God. 222 00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:24,160 Fred, I hope for your sake, that's rigor mortis setting in. 223 00:12:34,383 --> 00:12:37,466 NURSE [OVER RADIO]:Dr. Warner wanted in Radiology please. 224 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,133 Can you believe that she did this to me 225 00:12:40,166 --> 00:12:42,330 under my own roof? 226 00:12:43,316 --> 00:12:46,400 Oh, my Momma, I'm gonna faint. Hold me. 227 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:49,483 Hold you? I'm still paying for this hip. 228 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,216 You happy, hot pants? 229 00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:59,383 Don't you yell at my daughter, Nettie. 230 00:12:59,416 --> 00:13:01,450 What the hell is wrong with you? 231 00:13:01,483 --> 00:13:04,250 Are you so desperate to get married? 232 00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:07,483 [SHOUTS] Where is this insanity coming from? 233 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:18,166 Mr. Sheffield is here. Put some lipstick on. 234 00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:22,160 Why won't anyone believe me? 235 00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:24,300 I was just trying to get those two together. 236 00:13:24,333 --> 00:13:27,366 Just because he was lying on me with romantic music 237 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,416 at 1:00 in the morning doesn't mean... 238 00:13:29,450 --> 00:13:33,466 You know, this would all be a non-issue if I was running opposite Dole. 239 00:13:39,450 --> 00:13:41,400 I've got an 8:00 a.m. appointment. 240 00:13:41,433 --> 00:13:43,416 Niles, would you let C.C. know what happened. 241 00:13:43,450 --> 00:13:45,330 Oh, I already phoned her sir. 242 00:13:45,660 --> 00:13:46,183 Told her a certain millionaire 243 00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:48,350 suffered a heart attack in Ms. Fine's bed. 244 00:13:48,383 --> 00:13:50,330 C.C.: Maxwell! 245 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:58,830 -You're all right? -Oh dear. You thought I meant him? 246 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,116 He can have visitors now, but he's weak 247 00:14:04,150 --> 00:14:06,133 so you should only go in one at a time. 248 00:14:06,166 --> 00:14:07,316 -All right. -Absolutely. We will. 249 00:14:07,350 --> 00:14:09,300 -Thank you. -Thanks for taking 250 00:14:09,333 --> 00:14:11,133 -such good care of him. -One at a time. 251 00:14:11,166 --> 00:14:13,000 -We appreciate it. -Go! 252 00:14:16,383 --> 00:14:18,250 Fred. 253 00:14:18,283 --> 00:14:20,216 Freddy. 254 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,150 It's your Freida-la. 255 00:14:23,283 --> 00:14:26,233 Are you-- Are you all right? Can you hear? 256 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,660 His color's not so good. 257 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:29,350 Well hat hose you're standing on 258 00:14:29,383 --> 00:14:31,450 might have something to do with it. 259 00:14:34,183 --> 00:14:36,366 You have the nerve to speak to me? 260 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,400 I didn't do anything. I'm innocent. 261 00:14:39,433 --> 00:14:42,466 Shh! Look, he's trying to say something. 262 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:46,233 Fran, you're so good. 263 00:14:50,350 --> 00:14:52,100 Put my leg where? 264 00:14:53,233 --> 00:14:55,500 Where the heck is that hose? 265 00:14:56,150 --> 00:14:59,466 You... You husband stealer, you. 266 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,100 Now, who's gonna take care of me? 267 00:15:03,133 --> 00:15:04,333 Where am I gonna live? 268 00:15:04,366 --> 00:15:07,366 -Bed time. -I made plans! 269 00:15:17,366 --> 00:15:19,830 Any idea of Ms. Fine 270 00:15:19,116 --> 00:15:22,330 being seriously involved with Fred is absurd. 271 00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:23,350 Oh, why do you say that, sir? 272 00:15:23,383 --> 00:15:26,133 Come on, man, he's nice, but... 273 00:15:26,166 --> 00:15:30,316 well, she couldn't be interested inhim 274 00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:34,116 What's so great about you? 275 00:15:37,660 --> 00:15:39,466 I mean, what's so great about you is your ability-- 276 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,250 -Oh, shut up. -Right. 277 00:15:44,183 --> 00:15:47,216 Of course it's only a matter of time before she does find someone 278 00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:50,300 if she keeps putting herself out there. 279 00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:53,500 Do you think she's doing all this just to spite me 280 00:15:53,830 --> 00:15:55,416 for taking back the, you know, thing? 281 00:15:57,283 --> 00:16:00,216 Well, it's very difficult to say, sir, considering the fact 282 00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,300 I don't know what the bloody thing is. 283 00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:08,350 Oh, well, I might as well tell you. 284 00:16:08,383 --> 00:16:10,400 [PHONE RINGING] 285 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:21,466 We'll get back to them. 286 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,450 First of all, no one else must ever know 287 00:16:25,483 --> 00:16:28,133 what I'm about to tell you. 288 00:16:28,166 --> 00:16:30,200 All right. Let me see, 289 00:16:30,233 --> 00:16:32,416 we were on our way back from Paris. 290 00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:35,466 And, well, I thought we were about to die, 291 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:39,416 so I turned to Ms. Fine and I told her I loved her. 292 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:46,830 Then I panicked, took it back and, well, that's it. 293 00:16:46,116 --> 00:16:50,483 So, now you know what the thing is. 294 00:16:54,483 --> 00:16:57,350 NILES: [FRUSTRATED SCREAM] 295 00:17:00,250 --> 00:17:03,300 Fran, I refuse to share a bathroom with your aunt anymore. 296 00:17:03,333 --> 00:17:07,830 I brushed my teeth with some chick product. 297 00:17:07,116 --> 00:17:09,250 Don't even want to speculate what that was. 298 00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,166 Oh, what are you complaining about? 299 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,383 There's like a toenail fromJurassic Park 300 00:17:14,416 --> 00:17:15,483 in my bathroom. 301 00:17:18,166 --> 00:17:19,250 And look at this. 302 00:17:19,283 --> 00:17:21,300 Your aunt ate the entire box of chocolates 303 00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:23,116 that my boyfriend gave me. 304 00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:24,333 Oh, don't worry, kids. 305 00:17:24,366 --> 00:17:26,350 I'll take care of everything. 306 00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:31,250 Nanny Fine, I didn't know 307 00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:33,433 you were attracted to decrepit old men. 308 00:17:33,466 --> 00:17:37,116 Am I gonna have to keep my eye on the two of you now? 309 00:17:38,216 --> 00:17:41,166 In my day, two people got to know each other first. 310 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:43,383 In your day, there only were two people. 311 00:17:45,183 --> 00:17:46,283 FRIEDA: Fran. 312 00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:48,333 Franny, darling, 313 00:17:48,366 --> 00:17:52,300 -Fred regained consciousness, he explained everything. -Oh. 314 00:17:52,333 --> 00:17:55,433 -And then he proposed. -[FRAN CHUCKLES] 315 00:17:55,466 --> 00:17:57,266 So can you ever forgive me? 316 00:17:57,300 --> 00:17:59,660 -Did you accept? -Yeah. 317 00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:01,160 All is forgiven. 318 00:18:02,350 --> 00:18:05,660 Oh! There you are. All packed. 319 00:18:06,150 --> 00:18:08,333 Look, how excited they are for me. 320 00:18:08,366 --> 00:18:10,300 Not quite yet, my loves, 321 00:18:10,333 --> 00:18:13,200 because, you know, there's still so much to do. 322 00:18:13,233 --> 00:18:14,266 And I haven't even decided 323 00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:16,233 where I'm gonna have the ceremony 324 00:18:16,266 --> 00:18:19,830 now that I'm getting married. 325 00:18:19,116 --> 00:18:21,466 -Hear, hear. -Here? 326 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:25,660 Oh, you are a doll. 327 00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:30,133 So I'm gonna go upstairs and try on my old wedding gown. 328 00:18:30,166 --> 00:18:34,116 Come on, kids, help zip me up. 329 00:18:34,150 --> 00:18:35,433 I'll get the pliers. 330 00:18:38,183 --> 00:18:41,283 All right. I--I know, something just happened. 331 00:18:41,316 --> 00:18:44,150 You just offered to have Freida's wedding here. 332 00:18:44,183 --> 00:18:47,166 What? Well, why didn't you bloody say something? 333 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,350 Oh, calm down. 334 00:18:48,383 --> 00:18:50,250 Do you think that I would subject you 335 00:18:50,283 --> 00:18:53,250 to the horror of a Fine family affair? 336 00:18:53,283 --> 00:18:56,830 Not after what happened Grandma Yetta's birthday party, 337 00:18:56,116 --> 00:18:58,283 which you know nothing about. So what am I bringing it up for? 338 00:18:58,316 --> 00:19:00,116 Moving on. Moving on. 339 00:19:00,483 --> 00:19:02,166 I can't believe I agreed 340 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,283 to let Freida have her wedding here. 341 00:19:04,316 --> 00:19:08,216 -Oh, relax. I've got a plan. -Oh, thank God. 342 00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:10,450 First, I'll go out and buy a dress for the wedding. 343 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,466 -Yes, right. -Better give me your credit card. 344 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,200 This way it looks like you're going along with it. 345 00:19:15,233 --> 00:19:17,116 Oh, right. Right. 346 00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:20,216 -Okay now, while I'm doing that, you, this'll be a snap for you. 347 00:19:20,250 --> 00:19:23,233 -Go upstairs. Find Freida. -Yeah. Uh-huh. 348 00:19:23,266 --> 00:19:25,200 And take it back. 349 00:19:36,330 --> 00:19:37,250 This is beautiful. 350 00:19:37,283 --> 00:19:40,660 Why is it families only get together 351 00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:42,133 at weddings and funerals? 352 00:19:42,166 --> 00:19:46,116 You know, you wore that dress to her last wedding. 353 00:19:46,150 --> 00:19:50,660 I'm saving the new one for yourshiva, 354 00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:56,166 Well, we don't need anything old or blue. 355 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,333 I just shoved Freida into her corset. 356 00:19:58,366 --> 00:20:00,483 [LAUGHTER] 357 00:20:02,150 --> 00:20:05,160 -Fran, can I talk to you? -Yes. Sure. 358 00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:06,333 I can't go through with this. 359 00:20:06,366 --> 00:20:08,283 Oh, Fred, now, I don't want to hear 360 00:20:08,316 --> 00:20:10,350 that you're not good enough for Freida. 361 00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:14,200 You're a wonderful guy. I'd marry you in a second. 362 00:20:14,233 --> 00:20:17,333 Then marry me. I think I'm in love with you. 363 00:20:17,366 --> 00:20:20,500 Fred, don't be ridiculous. 364 00:20:20,830 --> 00:20:22,100 You're just getting cold feet. 365 00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:25,116 I'll give you anything you ever wanted. Yes, I'm worth millions. 366 00:20:25,150 --> 00:20:26,366 This'll do. 367 00:20:27,450 --> 00:20:29,416 No, Fred. 368 00:20:31,466 --> 00:20:35,233 You don't love me. You love Freida. 369 00:20:35,266 --> 00:20:37,166 You guys make a perfect couple. 370 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:41,233 There is nothing more right in this whole world. 371 00:20:41,266 --> 00:20:43,316 This is so wrong. 372 00:20:43,350 --> 00:20:47,383 You say anything to disturb this ceremony and you're dead. 373 00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:54,150 And do you, Freida Rubinski... Mannarino... 374 00:20:54,183 --> 00:20:58,150 ...Chong'dow... Bitterman... 375 00:20:59,316 --> 00:21:02,100 Excuse us. Coming through. Excuse me just a minute. 376 00:21:02,133 --> 00:21:04,133 -Thank you. -I can't let Freida 377 00:21:04,166 --> 00:21:07,116 -go through with this. -Oh, yes, you can. 378 00:21:07,150 --> 00:21:09,333 My house has turned into a pest motel. 379 00:21:09,366 --> 00:21:12,100 Where the Fines check in but they don't check out. 380 00:21:13,483 --> 00:21:15,133 You don't understand. 381 00:21:15,166 --> 00:21:18,183 He doesn't want to marry her. He said he loves me. 382 00:21:18,216 --> 00:21:19,316 He's confused. 383 00:21:19,350 --> 00:21:21,366 The man just had a near-death experience. 384 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,350 He didn't know what he was saying. 385 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:27,383 Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. 386 00:21:27,416 --> 00:21:30,233 Now, you're taking it back for him? 387 00:21:32,330 --> 00:21:34,316 Oh. You know, maybe ignorance is bliss. 388 00:21:34,350 --> 00:21:36,416 Maybe I should just let them be happy. 389 00:21:36,450 --> 00:21:39,166 I mean, Freida's been widowed five times. 390 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:42,500 Maybe six will be her lucky number, who knows. 391 00:21:42,830 --> 00:21:44,150 I do. 392 00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:48,216 Fred. Fred. 393 00:21:48,250 --> 00:21:51,416 -He said, "I do." -[All TOGETHER] We heard him. 394 00:21:59,830 --> 00:22:00,266 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, look, 395 00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:04,160 Aunt Freida sent us a tape from their honeymoon. 396 00:22:05,150 --> 00:22:07,450 I can't believe how well Fred recovered. 397 00:22:07,483 --> 00:22:10,116 I know. Doesn't he look incredible? 398 00:22:10,150 --> 00:22:13,283 Boy, that quadruple bypass really did the trick. 399 00:22:16,216 --> 00:22:18,466 Make them laugh! Ha, ha! 400 00:22:20,183 --> 00:22:22,133 Make them laugh! Ha, ha, ha! 401 00:22:22,166 --> 00:22:25,466 Next week, I'm gonna teach him theMacarena. 402 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,383 [♪♪♪] 403 00:22:33,483 --> 00:22:36,366 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING]