1
00:00:03,333 --> 00:00:05,830
Now, you notice, Ms. Fine,
2
00:00:05,116 --> 00:00:08,183
how-how voluptuous
and fleshy this nude is?
3
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:11,330
The artist was obviously
inspired by Rubens.
4
00:00:11,660 --> 00:00:14,183
Yeah, well, if you ask me, she
had one too many Rubens herself.
5
00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:18,830
No, Ms. Fine,
back then a full
figure
6
00:00:18,116 --> 00:00:19,433
was the standard for beauty.
7
00:00:19,466 --> 00:00:21,150
Meanwhile,
if it were today,
8
00:00:21,183 --> 00:00:23,250
you'd see her sitting around
the piano bar,
9
00:00:23,283 --> 00:00:26,500
singing show tunes
with her gay friends.
10
00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:29,133
Oh, my God, it's my father.
11
00:00:29,166 --> 00:00:31,000
Oh, well, you know,
my Uncle Louie
12
00:00:31,330 --> 00:00:33,100
started to develop breasts
around 60.
13
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:38,233
What? No, no, no, no, Ms.
Fine,
my father is in the gallery.
14
00:00:38,266 --> 00:00:41,150
- Oh.
- I've got a few words to say
15
00:00:41,183 --> 00:00:43,216
to that cold,
manipulative son of a...
16
00:00:43,250 --> 00:00:45,266
- Oh my God, he's coming out.
Come on. Let's go, let's go.
- No.
17
00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:47,330
- Stop.
- Hide me. Hide me.
18
00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:49,330
No, I will not perpetuate
this feud
19
00:00:49,660 --> 00:00:50,266
between you and your father.
20
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:53,100
- First of all, it's
completely--
- Just kiss me.
21
00:00:53,133 --> 00:00:54,383
Okay.
22
00:01:03,366 --> 00:01:06,350
Maxwell. Well, what a surprise.
23
00:01:06,383 --> 00:01:09,830
Father, oh, good Lord,
gracious me.
24
00:01:09,116 --> 00:01:10,183
Ms. Fine, would you believe it?
25
00:01:10,216 --> 00:01:12,300
My father was actually
inside the gallery
26
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:14,333
that we were kissing
in front of.
27
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:17,316
What a coincidence.
Where are you gonna be
tomorrow?
28
00:01:18,450 --> 00:01:20,216
Who is this gorgeous woman
29
00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:23,266
and what is she doing
kissing you and not me?
30
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,450
James Sheffield,
Maxwell's father.
31
00:01:25,483 --> 00:01:30,366
Fran Fine, Maxwell's...
Well, it depends on what day
it is.
32
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,830
Come, son,
give the old man a hug, huh.
33
00:01:33,116 --> 00:01:34,266
Why? Don't you get enough hugs
34
00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:37,183
from that secretary
you abandoned your family for?
35
00:01:37,216 --> 00:01:39,466
- Trollop.
- What'd I do?
36
00:01:41,133 --> 00:01:43,400
Maxwell, I never set out
to hurt your mother.
37
00:01:43,433 --> 00:01:47,660
She's a lovely woman. Shrew.
38
00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:49,283
I'll take it from him
but you, I just met.
39
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:53,266
Well, it's been wonderful
seeing you, Father.
40
00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:56,433
Why don't we do this again in,
say, another 10 years?
41
00:01:56,466 --> 00:02:00,200
Maxwell, so that's it?
Walk away?
42
00:02:00,233 --> 00:02:02,283
Put a dagger through
your father's heart?
43
00:02:02,316 --> 00:02:06,160
I could be dead in a year!
Then you'll be sorry.
44
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:08,133
My God, you're Jewish?
45
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,366
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
46
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,316
♪♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens ♪♪
47
00:02:15,350 --> 00:02:17,500
♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪♪
48
00:02:17,830 --> 00:02:18,416
♪♪ in one of those
crushing scenes ♪♪
49
00:02:18,450 --> 00:02:20,333
♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪
50
00:02:20,366 --> 00:02:23,283
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
51
00:02:23,316 --> 00:02:26,330
♪♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing to the
Sheffield's door ♪♪
52
00:02:26,660 --> 00:02:28,450
♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more ♪♪
53
00:02:28,483 --> 00:02:31,660
♪♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there! ♪♪
54
00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:34,400
♪♪ That's how
she became the nanny! ♪♪
55
00:02:34,433 --> 00:02:37,350
♪♪ Who would have guessed that
the girl we've described ♪♪
56
00:02:37,383 --> 00:02:40,330
♪♪ was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
57
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:41,266
♪♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling ♪♪
58
00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:43,160
♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪
59
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:44,133
♪♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪♪
60
00:02:44,166 --> 00:02:45,316
♪♪ Such joie de vivre! ♪♪
61
00:02:45,350 --> 00:02:47,330
♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
62
00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:51,660
♪♪ when everybody else
is wearing tan ♪♪
63
00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:53,100
♪♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪♪
64
00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:55,500
♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪
65
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,233
[♪♪♪]
66
00:02:59,450 --> 00:03:01,200
Just tell me, what is so wrong
67
00:03:01,233 --> 00:03:03,466
with a 15-year-old guy
wanting to take ballet
lessons?
68
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:07,383
Nothing, sweetheart.
It isn't you, is it?
69
00:03:08,483 --> 00:03:10,400
Yes, it's me.
70
00:03:10,433 --> 00:03:13,466
You already look like
a boiled chicken in a tank
top.
71
00:03:14,433 --> 00:03:16,416
Now you want to wear tights?
72
00:03:16,450 --> 00:03:20,316
Stop it. Look how mature
your sister's being.
73
00:03:20,350 --> 00:03:24,160
He goes to a different
school.
No one knows we're related.
74
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,150
What's wrong with you people?
75
00:03:26,183 --> 00:03:27,300
Just leave your brother alone.
76
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:30,330
He only wants to
express himself
artistically.
77
00:03:30,660 --> 00:03:32,250
- You looking to meet chicks?
- Yeah.
78
00:03:35,116 --> 00:03:36,416
Yeah. You know, Niles,
79
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,366
I think it's time
that I marched myself
80
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,150
into Mr. Sheffield's office
81
00:03:40,183 --> 00:03:43,250
and talk to him that his son
wants to be a ballerina.
82
00:03:43,283 --> 00:03:45,466
Mm. What horrible thing
have you done
83
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,166
that won't seem so bad
after you tell him this?
84
00:03:49,266 --> 00:03:51,450
I invited his father
to the house for dinner.
85
00:03:51,483 --> 00:03:53,250
And you're gonna tell him now?
86
00:03:53,283 --> 00:03:55,116
Ooh, just let me get
to the intercom.
87
00:03:58,250 --> 00:04:00,216
Talk to me, baby.
88
00:04:04,166 --> 00:04:07,466
I can't believe she invited
his father to dinner.
89
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,233
What did he say?
90
00:04:09,266 --> 00:04:13,330
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
91
00:04:15,450 --> 00:04:17,233
He was livid.
92
00:04:17,266 --> 00:04:19,466
He said this time
she'd gone too far
93
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,166
and then he threatened to...
94
00:04:26,116 --> 00:04:32,000
What? What? Fire her? Okay.
95
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,330
Fire her.
96
00:04:38,150 --> 00:04:41,133
Ms. Fine, I cannot believe
you invited my father.
97
00:04:41,166 --> 00:04:44,160
Are you trying to kill me?
'Cause you're not in the
will,
you know.
98
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:47,000
You can't leave now.
My mother's coming over.
99
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:49,233
She's gonna think
we're having problems.
100
00:04:49,266 --> 00:04:52,216
We are. You're
about
to be found
floating
101
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,316
And I'm about to be
pulled in for questioning.
102
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:58,100
Oh, this is fabulous.
103
00:04:58,133 --> 00:05:00,383
"Relive the magic
at home," 1995.
104
00:05:05,466 --> 00:05:09,300
So much is going on.
Oh, I'd love to stay for
dinner.
105
00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:10,450
But you're not invited.
106
00:05:12,283 --> 00:05:16,116
Ms. Fine, you have absolutely
no idea what you've
got yourself into.
107
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:18,216
Last time my father and I
dined together,
108
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:19,350
it almost came to blows.
109
00:05:19,383 --> 00:05:21,350
Oh, you should see my family
at Fung Lungs
110
00:05:21,383 --> 00:05:23,366
when they say they're
out of mu shu pork.
111
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:25,466
Pork, Ms. Fine?
112
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,000
Doesn't count
when it's Chinese food.
113
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,233
Why don't you give
your father a chance
to make up for lost time
114
00:05:32,266 --> 00:05:35,250
I'm sure you'll find
you've got a lot in common.
115
00:05:35,283 --> 00:05:37,183
No, unlike my father,
116
00:05:37,216 --> 00:05:40,830
I am not about to
abandon my responsibilities
117
00:05:40,116 --> 00:05:41,250
for sexual gratification
118
00:05:41,283 --> 00:05:44,660
with some cheap floozy
who works for me.
119
00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:46,300
Why?
120
00:05:46,333 --> 00:05:48,250
[DOORBELL RINGS]
121
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:51,483
- Sir.
- Niles!
122
00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,316
Well, you don't look a day
older
than when you worked for me.
123
00:05:54,350 --> 00:05:56,116
That was my father, sir.
124
00:05:56,150 --> 00:05:59,333
Oh, in that case,
you look like hell.
125
00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:01,150
Maxwell,
126
00:06:01,183 --> 00:06:03,283
I was thrilled
to get your message at the
hotel
127
00:06:03,316 --> 00:06:06,116
asking me to come over here
for a reconciliation.
128
00:06:06,150 --> 00:06:09,116
It takes a big man to do that.
129
00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:12,660
Actually, father,
it takes a woman with big
hair.
130
00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:15,266
Why don't you give
your father a break?
131
00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:19,116
So he had an affair
with a secretary 25 years ago.
132
00:06:19,150 --> 00:06:22,830
You'll always be his son.
Where is she today?
133
00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:23,316
Here I am, darling.
134
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,466
- To die for.
- To die for.
135
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:40,500
Oh, she is stunning
and so tasteful.
136
00:06:41,116 --> 00:06:43,300
Maxwell, darling.
137
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,150
Look at you.
138
00:06:47,183 --> 00:06:49,183
I remember
when you were a little boy
139
00:06:49,216 --> 00:06:51,350
and you adored playing
hide and seek.
140
00:06:51,383 --> 00:06:55,216
You always wanted to hide
underneath my skirt.
141
00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:56,483
Or was that your father?
142
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,383
Ooh! Darling,
not in front of the
children.
143
00:06:59,416 --> 00:07:02,183
- Please.
- He used to love spying on
us.
144
00:07:02,216 --> 00:07:05,100
He and that chubby little chap
who used to clean up after him.
145
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,333
Hey, it was an awkward stage.
146
00:07:08,283 --> 00:07:09,266
[DOORBELL RINGS]
147
00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:11,466
I'll get it. I'll get it.
148
00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:17,660
Oh, here they are,
Naomi and Wynona.
149
00:07:19,166 --> 00:07:23,100
[MUSIC PLAYING]
150
00:07:25,116 --> 00:07:28,450
Trust me, Dijon mustard
comes right out.
151
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:33,000
Oh, look at that stain.
152
00:07:33,330 --> 00:07:36,233
Doesn't it look
just like Jill Eikenberry?
153
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:44,100
I spill a lot too.
This used to be a solid.
154
00:07:46,330 --> 00:07:47,150
Don't worry, darling.
155
00:07:47,183 --> 00:07:49,466
I prefer it if James
doesn't wear a tie at all.
156
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,400
It just takes me longer
to undress him.
157
00:07:52,433 --> 00:07:55,416
Darling, don't tell secrets
out of the bedroom.
158
00:07:55,450 --> 00:07:58,116
What bedroom?
I'm talking about last night
159
00:07:58,150 --> 00:08:00,316
in the elevator
of the Equity Building.
160
00:08:01,830 --> 00:08:02,183
[COUGHS]
161
00:08:02,216 --> 00:08:04,416
Oh, could I tell you stories
about this one.
162
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:09,166
Oh, boy, can I tell you
stories
about this one.
163
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:16,330
Sure I made them up
but they'd knock your socks
off.
164
00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:19,333
You know, James, it's funny
how you ended up with someone
165
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:22,330
from the other side
of the river.
166
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:26,660
Like father like son.
167
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:27,316
Ma.
168
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,466
It's no insult.
I'm proud of the fact
169
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,333
that my father
worked on the tube for 30
years.
170
00:08:34,366 --> 00:08:37,183
My father sat
in front of the tube for 40.
171
00:08:39,250 --> 00:08:41,250
Do you know,
before I worked for James,
172
00:08:41,283 --> 00:08:43,400
I almost got a job
at Buckingham Palace
173
00:08:43,433 --> 00:08:45,500
doing The Queen's hair?
174
00:08:45,830 --> 00:08:47,350
Oh, I almost got a job
in the Village
175
00:08:47,383 --> 00:08:49,466
doing hair on Queens.
176
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,166
[ALL LAUGH]
177
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,200
Well, Maxwell, it's obvious
178
00:08:56,233 --> 00:08:59,330
we are attracted to
the same kind of woman.
179
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:02,250
You've inherited my gift for
mixing business with pleasure.
180
00:09:02,283 --> 00:09:04,183
Well, I'm sorry
to disappoint you, father,
181
00:09:04,216 --> 00:09:06,133
but I hired Ms. Fine solely
182
00:09:06,166 --> 00:09:08,350
for her extensive experience
in child care.
183
00:09:08,383 --> 00:09:11,466
That's right. You had enough.
Niles, take it away.
184
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:18,416
So, James, you obviously
did well for yourself.
185
00:09:18,450 --> 00:09:21,300
I mean, this isn't a cheap tie.
186
00:09:21,333 --> 00:09:23,483
Although now,
it's not worth anything.
187
00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:29,133
I do all right, Sylvia. I make
most of my money in
investments.
188
00:09:29,166 --> 00:09:33,183
In fact, I just got a hot tip
guaranteed to triple your
return
189
00:09:33,216 --> 00:09:35,350
no commitment, short-term.
190
00:09:35,383 --> 00:09:37,383
Oh, "No commitment? Short-term?"
191
00:09:37,416 --> 00:09:41,300
Throw in some children, a dumped
wife and you've got your life.
192
00:09:45,433 --> 00:09:49,133
Isn't this delightful?
193
00:09:49,166 --> 00:09:52,100
Where did you get
the exquisite shrimp?
194
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,116
I came with her.
195
00:10:02,316 --> 00:10:06,333
No, dear.
I meant the crustacean.
196
00:10:06,366 --> 00:10:09,150
Oh, she's my daughter.
197
00:10:14,416 --> 00:10:18,250
Jolly good. Well, where were we?
198
00:10:18,283 --> 00:10:22,283
Oh, yes, Maxwell was calling me
a tramp.
199
00:10:22,316 --> 00:10:24,500
No offense, Joan.
200
00:10:24,830 --> 00:10:27,116
But, father, I cannot imagine
what possessed you
201
00:10:27,150 --> 00:10:29,830
to bring this woman
into my home.
202
00:10:29,116 --> 00:10:32,233
My poor mother sitting alone
like a dog.
203
00:10:32,266 --> 00:10:34,166
I thought you hated your mother?
204
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,160
Well, I like her now.
205
00:10:41,366 --> 00:10:43,416
Anyone seeBabe?
206
00:10:47,383 --> 00:10:52,300
How did they get that pig
to learn all those lines?
207
00:11:01,116 --> 00:11:03,216
Why don't you
just cut your father some
slack?
208
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:05,830
I mean, he obviously just wants
209
00:11:05,116 --> 00:11:08,366
to live his life hassle free
without any commitments.
210
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,266
Not unlike you.
211
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:15,500
Let it go. The man's
entitled to a girlfriend.
212
00:11:15,830 --> 00:11:18,433
Not if his wife has anything
to say about it.
213
00:11:18,466 --> 00:11:22,116
- You're married?
- Mm.
214
00:11:22,150 --> 00:11:24,416
Isn't that delightful.
215
00:11:27,216 --> 00:11:30,000
Well, we'd been playing
cat and mouse so long
216
00:11:30,330 --> 00:11:33,150
I decided to make
an honest woman out of her.
217
00:11:33,183 --> 00:11:38,116
Well, I was wrong. You and your
father are completely different.
218
00:11:38,150 --> 00:11:40,330
And I like him better.
219
00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:48,150
So, Maxwell, how about a toast
to me and my new wife?
220
00:11:48,183 --> 00:11:49,483
A wife?
221
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:53,150
I think gold digger is a more
appropriate description.
222
00:11:53,183 --> 00:11:56,166
How dare you speak
to your mother like that?
223
00:11:56,200 --> 00:12:00,133
Stepmother, darling.
"Youthful stepmother".
224
00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:05,233
Do you think after all this,
anyone would be in the mood
225
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,333
for their little red potatoes?
226
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:18,333
What am I nuts?
227
00:12:18,366 --> 00:12:21,330
A pig can't learn lines.
228
00:12:25,183 --> 00:12:27,450
He must have used cue cards.
229
00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:41,300
NILES: So, then Mr. Sheffield
accused her
of being a gold digger.
230
00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:44,166
Which Mr. Sheffield?
231
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,300
The young one.
232
00:12:56,333 --> 00:12:58,450
Oh, we'll pick this up later
in the kitchen.
233
00:12:58,483 --> 00:13:00,416
Bring a pair
of alligator Gucci's,
234
00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:02,166
nine-and-a-half D.
235
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:06,300
Oh, Niles, I should have
never planned that dinner
party.
236
00:13:06,333 --> 00:13:08,433
It just stirred up
all kinds of feelings
237
00:13:08,466 --> 00:13:10,400
of anguish and resentment.
238
00:13:10,433 --> 00:13:12,660
In you, when you found
239
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:14,366
that a Sheffield
would marry an employee?
240
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,100
Yeah.
241
00:13:17,433 --> 00:13:20,116
Oh, Fran,
I gotta dump this ballet
class.
242
00:13:20,150 --> 00:13:22,266
It's full of muscular
good-looking guys
243
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:25,330
who are obviously there
to meet chicks too.
244
00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:26,316
Not necessarily.
245
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,183
Honey, why don't you just quit?
246
00:13:30,216 --> 00:13:32,200
Fran, I can't.
I'm the lightest
one.
247
00:13:32,233 --> 00:13:34,166
They already made me head swan.
248
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,483
Well, then what are you
worried
about, being labeled?
249
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:43,183
Listen, there are a lot
of very masculine
ballet dancers.
250
00:13:43,216 --> 00:13:47,383
Baryshnikov...
251
00:13:47,416 --> 00:13:50,660
Alright, you know what
you'll tell your father you
joined the ballet class.
252
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:53,133
- He'll pull you out
in two seconds.
- Oh, thank you, Fran.
253
00:13:56,416 --> 00:13:58,300
And not a moment too soon.
254
00:13:58,333 --> 00:13:59,483
[DOORBELL RINGS]
255
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,233
I'll get it.
256
00:14:03,116 --> 00:14:07,316
Oh, Fran, I hope you don't mind
but I just had to talk to you.
257
00:14:07,350 --> 00:14:11,116
- Love the outfit.
- Love the outfit.
258
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:14,350
I feel so terrible about
what
happened the other night
at dinner.
259
00:14:14,383 --> 00:14:17,233
You know, James pretends
not to care what Maxwell
thinks,
260
00:14:17,266 --> 00:14:19,400
but it's one thing
that keeps him up at night.
261
00:14:19,433 --> 00:14:21,660
I'm the other.
262
00:14:22,316 --> 00:14:24,433
Oh, I think it's just so awful
263
00:14:24,466 --> 00:14:27,500
when a father and son
are at odds.
264
00:14:27,830 --> 00:14:29,116
- Yes.
- I wish I could be there
265
00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:32,433
to comfort Mr. Sheffield
when he's up all night.
266
00:14:32,466 --> 00:14:34,283
Do me a world of good.
267
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:39,160
You know, I never believed
that Maxwell would grow up
268
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:41,316
to be as judgmental
and narrow-minded
269
00:14:41,350 --> 00:14:43,333
as the rest of James' family.
270
00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:47,183
They actually felt
that I wasn't of his class.
271
00:14:53,450 --> 00:14:55,483
That is such bull.
272
00:14:57,350 --> 00:14:59,350
Do you know it took 10 years
273
00:14:59,383 --> 00:15:02,330
for James
to finally make his move?
274
00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:03,283
Ten years?
275
00:15:03,316 --> 00:15:05,450
When he finally made his move,
the only reason he did was
276
00:15:05,483 --> 00:15:08,283
that I went into his office
to change his typewriter
ribbon
277
00:15:08,316 --> 00:15:10,416
wearing a sexy
little midriff top
278
00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:13,233
and a very,
very short mini-skirt.
279
00:15:13,266 --> 00:15:14,350
I can't dress like that.
280
00:15:14,383 --> 00:15:16,333
You know,
I take care of children.
281
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:21,450
I'll never forget
how he took me in his arms,
282
00:15:21,483 --> 00:15:25,283
gazed into my eyes,
and told me that he loved me.
283
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,100
And then he took it back?
284
00:15:28,133 --> 00:15:32,400
No. Then he proved it,
six times.
285
00:15:34,316 --> 00:15:35,466
I hate my life.
286
00:15:38,350 --> 00:15:40,133
First, he dimmed the lights.
287
00:15:40,166 --> 00:15:43,116
Then he grabbed me
and brought my body
close to his.
288
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:45,660
And then with one sweep
of his arm
289
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:47,150
he cleared the desk
of everything
290
00:15:47,183 --> 00:15:49,660
and then he....
291
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:51,166
Oh, do you have any ice?
292
00:15:55,433 --> 00:15:58,660
Oh. Yeah, here.
293
00:16:00,316 --> 00:16:03,100
[LAUGHS]
294
00:16:03,133 --> 00:16:06,333
What? What?
295
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:11,450
That was the first
time
that I ever nibbled
on James' ear.
296
00:16:11,483 --> 00:16:16,416
It drove him absolutely crazy
and then I...
297
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,200
Oh, I can't do that.
298
00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:22,483
- I'm Jewish.
- Oh, no.
299
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,400
[MUSIC PLAYING]
300
00:16:33,366 --> 00:16:37,830
Oh, Mr. Sheffield.
301
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:43,250
It's time to change your
ribbon.
Where's your typewriter?
302
00:16:43,283 --> 00:16:46,500
It's in the attic
with my Peter Max posters.
303
00:16:48,233 --> 00:16:52,233
- See, you.
- Oh, Ms. Fine, wait.
304
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:55,830
Yes?
305
00:16:56,660 --> 00:16:58,830
I've had an epiphany.
306
00:16:58,116 --> 00:17:01,466
Already? Just from doing this?
307
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:04,483
I've always resented my father
308
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:06,216
for his total lack of concern
309
00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:08,116
for anyone's feelings
but his own.
310
00:17:08,150 --> 00:17:11,216
He's always lived solely
for his own pleasure.
311
00:17:11,250 --> 00:17:13,233
But maybe
that ain't so bad, huh?
312
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,333
I mean,
maybe he's got the right
idea.
313
00:17:15,366 --> 00:17:18,400
I mean, I am a man.
I have needs too, right?
314
00:17:18,433 --> 00:17:22,383
Yeah, good. 'Cause I can use
a couple of multiple
epiphanies
myself.
315
00:17:24,450 --> 00:17:26,200
I got a problem.
316
00:17:26,233 --> 00:17:28,166
Alright, honey,
solve it yourself.
It builds character.
317
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:31,233
No, no. Okay, Dad, here it
is:
I'm in a ballet class
318
00:17:31,266 --> 00:17:34,830
and I don't care what you say,
I love it, and I'm staying in.
319
00:17:34,116 --> 00:17:35,483
Son, do whatever
makes you happy.
320
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,283
Even if you call the school
and demand they take me
out of the class
321
00:17:38,316 --> 00:17:40,250
- I'm not leaving.
- I want you to do it.
322
00:17:40,283 --> 00:17:42,266
Would you let me
live my own life?
323
00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:45,330
For the love of God,
I'm a ballerina.
324
00:17:47,450 --> 00:17:49,333
Oh, I'll tell you,
he is so lucky
325
00:17:49,366 --> 00:17:52,166
that he's got people
that love and support him. Oh!
326
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,250
Come here. Look how baggy
his butt looks in those
tights.
327
00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:58,366
[BOTH LAUGH]
328
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,500
So, you were saying you're
a man, you got needs?
329
00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:02,383
Well, maybe I should just
330
00:18:02,416 --> 00:18:05,660
face the fact that my father
fell in love
with his secretary.
331
00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:07,500
And your sister
fell in love
with her chauffeur.
332
00:18:07,830 --> 00:18:09,233
And my grandfather
married his maid.
333
00:18:09,266 --> 00:18:11,300
No sense breaking tradition.
334
00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:13,233
None that I can see.
335
00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:23,266
- Wait. Something is missing.
- What? What?
336
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:24,383
Oh, I know.
337
00:18:24,416 --> 00:18:26,200
[CLEARS THE TABLE]
338
00:18:32,483 --> 00:18:34,366
[KNOCKING]
339
00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:40,200
What are you doing here?
340
00:18:40,233 --> 00:18:43,433
I'm picturing myself
in Ms. Babcock's BMW.
341
00:18:48,233 --> 00:18:50,150
Well, we're off to Saint Tropez.
342
00:18:50,183 --> 00:18:52,160
We just came to say good...
343
00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:55,150
Hello.
344
00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:59,830
- Well...
- Oh!
345
00:18:59,116 --> 00:19:01,250
Honey, you've got
a post-it on your bum.
346
00:19:01,283 --> 00:19:04,830
Oh.
347
00:19:04,116 --> 00:19:06,000
Father, I'm glad you stopped by.
348
00:19:06,330 --> 00:19:08,330
I think I owe you an apology.
349
00:19:08,660 --> 00:19:10,500
Well, you know you don't want
to
keep them waiting.
350
00:19:10,830 --> 00:19:13,133
I mean, there's a big time
difference were you going,
you're probably late already.
351
00:19:13,166 --> 00:19:16,216
Just a moment, Miss Fine, I
have
something I need to say to my
father.
352
00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:18,150
All righty, then.
353
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,433
Father, I believe I was wrong
about you.
354
00:19:21,466 --> 00:19:24,100
That was beautiful.
Enjoy your trip.
355
00:19:25,283 --> 00:19:27,166
We're wiped out.
356
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:31,830
We lost $25,000
on that investment of yours.
357
00:19:31,116 --> 00:19:32,483
Well, you win some,
you lose some.
358
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:34,300
Thank God
that's all you invested.
359
00:19:34,333 --> 00:19:37,233
That was
our entire life savings.
360
00:19:37,266 --> 00:19:39,133
Oh, stop it.
361
00:19:40,316 --> 00:19:43,200
You said it was guaranteed
triple our money.
362
00:19:43,233 --> 00:19:48,500
Ma, ma, nobody forced you.
You can't point fingers.
363
00:19:48,830 --> 00:19:51,133
That was the money that
we were gonna move to Boca with.
364
00:19:51,166 --> 00:19:52,433
You are a dead man.
365
00:19:54,450 --> 00:19:56,450
Father, how could you
be so cavalier?
366
00:19:56,483 --> 00:19:59,350
These people are living
on a fixed income.
367
00:19:59,383 --> 00:20:02,100
I feel faint. I need something.
368
00:20:02,133 --> 00:20:03,266
I'll get you some water.
369
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:05,416
No, steak. I need protein.
370
00:20:07,116 --> 00:20:09,500
Now, darling, I think
we should dash off
371
00:20:09,830 --> 00:20:10,483
if we're going to make it
to Constantine's yacht.
372
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,000
God, you are
so incredibly insensitive.
373
00:20:14,330 --> 00:20:15,450
Well, how can you say
I'm insensitive
374
00:20:15,483 --> 00:20:18,200
when you're the one that's
making me late for cocktails?
375
00:20:19,483 --> 00:20:21,830
What was I thinking?
376
00:20:21,116 --> 00:20:24,300
I was actually
trying to be more like you.
377
00:20:24,333 --> 00:20:26,433
Well, now I remember
how much pain
378
00:20:26,466 --> 00:20:29,350
your selfishness
causes other people.
379
00:20:29,383 --> 00:20:34,330
I'm sorry, Ms. Fine. I'm sorry
for what almost happened here.
380
00:20:34,660 --> 00:20:36,300
Well, that's bloody
over with now.
381
00:20:36,333 --> 00:20:39,366
Oh, all righty, then.
382
00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:45,366
Hope you realize that our
Christmas get-together
383
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:49,000
at my chalet in Tuscany is off.
384
00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:52,660
You think I'd actually
want to spend my holidays
385
00:20:52,100 --> 00:20:55,283
in the Italian countryside,
gorging on rich food,
386
00:20:55,316 --> 00:20:58,166
partying with
European glitterati?
387
00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,400
Well, I wouldn't.
388
00:20:59,433 --> 00:21:03,450
And I wouldn't dream of
subjecting my family
to it, either.
389
00:21:03,483 --> 00:21:06,160
Why?
390
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,433
- Come on, Joan.
- Just a minute.
391
00:21:09,466 --> 00:21:13,660
Darling, I know
what you're thinking,
392
00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:17,830
but there's a part of James
that is good.
393
00:21:17,116 --> 00:21:19,250
Not as good
as it was 20 years ago,
394
00:21:19,283 --> 00:21:21,333
but it does the job.
395
00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:24,216
And by the way, darling,
396
00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:26,333
I think Junior
that may still come around,
397
00:21:26,366 --> 00:21:30,000
but I'd lay off the
chocolates
if you were you.
398
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,350
Oh, Ms. Fine, I feel awful
about your parents
399
00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:43,283
not being able to move to Boca.
400
00:21:43,316 --> 00:21:45,200
You feel awful?
401
00:21:45,233 --> 00:21:47,660
Is there anything
I could give them
402
00:21:47,100 --> 00:21:49,133
to help smooth things over?
403
00:21:49,166 --> 00:21:50,416
Grandchildren?
404
00:21:53,300 --> 00:21:56,250
Maybe I should just reimburse
them for the money they lost?
405
00:21:56,283 --> 00:21:58,266
Absolutely not.
406
00:21:58,300 --> 00:22:01,200
They're way too proud.
They would never take it.
407
00:22:01,233 --> 00:22:03,316
They'll just
talk about it constantly,
408
00:22:03,350 --> 00:22:05,160
nag you incessantly,
409
00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:08,233
and never let it die
until you do.
410
00:22:08,266 --> 00:22:09,350
Oh, don't look now,
411
00:22:09,383 --> 00:22:11,383
but your father's
in that gallery again.
412
00:22:11,416 --> 00:22:14,300
- Quick. He's coming out.
- Come here.
413
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,133
Ms. Fine, that is not my father.
414
00:22:23,166 --> 00:22:25,166
Oh, my mistake.
415
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,660
[MUSIC PLAYING]
416
00:22:35,366 --> 00:22:38,466
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]