1
00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:04,316
[♪♪♪]

2
00:00:07,830 --> 00:00:09,500
Oh, ma, remember this?

3
00:00:09,830 --> 00:00:13,830
"June 17th. Dear Diary,
my prom's tomorrow night

4
00:00:13,116 --> 00:00:16,250
and still no word
from David Sole.

5
00:00:19,183 --> 00:00:21,400
Hope I don't wind up
with some loser.

6
00:00:21,433 --> 00:00:23,830
June 18th.

7
00:00:23,116 --> 00:00:27,000
Val and I decide not to get
each other corsages."

8
00:00:30,116 --> 00:00:33,830
Ma, you know, you're eating
butter right out of the tub.

9
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:34,266
That's right.

10
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:37,100
It's the bread
that puts the weight on.

11
00:00:38,416 --> 00:00:42,000
It's my new diet. See?

12
00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:45,100
Ice cream, no cone.

13
00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:48,283
Cheesecake, no crust.

14
00:00:49,433 --> 00:00:51,400
Stick, no Dove bar.

15
00:00:53,233 --> 00:00:56,416
Sweetheart, what do you
want
with all these old diaries
anyway?

16
00:00:56,450 --> 00:00:59,660
Well, actually,
my therapist said that

17
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:01,383
I should get to the root
of the problems that plague
me.

18
00:01:01,416 --> 00:01:04,000
So naturally, I came to see you.

19
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:07,400
Thanks.

20
00:01:07,433 --> 00:01:10,383
But I don't even know
what your problem is.

21
00:01:10,416 --> 00:01:13,000
Over 30, not married.

22
00:01:14,316 --> 00:01:17,316
You know, my therapist
is making me realize

23
00:01:17,350 --> 00:01:22,500
that I don't need to be
married
to feel good about myself.

24
00:01:22,830 --> 00:01:23,300
That's nice.

25
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,200
Why don't you book
an appointment

26
00:01:25,233 --> 00:01:28,183
on New Year's Eve,
when you're alone?

27
00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:37,216
You know, ma, finding a man
is your dream for me,

28
00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:38,450
but it isn't mine anymore.

29
00:01:38,483 --> 00:01:41,233
Dr. Miller says that
I should go out of the house

30
00:01:41,266 --> 00:01:42,416
without makeup on.

31
00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:45,830
I should
even tell people my real age.

32
00:01:45,116 --> 00:01:48,100
What else does this genius
have to say?

33
00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,500
I don't know.
I blacked out after that.

34
00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:56,283
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

35
00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:59,183
<i>♪♪ She was working</i>
<i>in a bridal shop</i>
<i>in Flushing, Queens ♪♪</i>

36
00:01:59,216 --> 00:02:00,450
<i>♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend</i>
<i>kicked her out ♪♪</i>

37
00:02:00,483 --> 00:02:02,300
<i>♪♪ In one of those</i>
<i>crushing scenes ♪♪</i>

38
00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:04,216
<i>♪♪ What was she to do?</i>
<i>Where was she to go? ♪♪</i>

39
00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:07,300
<i>♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪</i>

40
00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:10,160
<i>♪♪ So over the bridge</i>
<i>from Flushing to the</i>
<i>Sheffield's door ♪♪</i>

41
00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:12,333
<i>♪♪ She was there</i>
<i>to sell makeup,</i>
<i>but the father saw more ♪♪</i>

42
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:14,450
<i>♪♪ She had style!</i>
<i>She had flair!</i>
<i>She was there! ♪♪</i>

43
00:02:14,483 --> 00:02:18,333
<i>♪♪ That's how</i>
<i>she became the nanny! ♪♪</i>

44
00:02:18,366 --> 00:02:21,316
<i>♪♪ Who would have guessed that</i>
<i>the girl we've described ♪♪</i>

45
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,433
<i>♪♪ Was just exactly what</i>
<i>the doctor prescribed? ♪♪</i>

46
00:02:23,466 --> 00:02:25,133
<i>♪♪ Now the father</i>
<i>finds her beguiling ♪♪</i>

47
00:02:25,166 --> 00:02:26,466
<i>♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪</i>

48
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,660
<i>♪♪ And the kids</i>
<i>are actually smiling ♪♪</i>

49
00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:29,300
<i>♪♪ Such</i><i>♪♪</i>

50
00:02:29,333 --> 00:02:31,000
<i>♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪</i>

51
00:02:31,330 --> 00:02:34,466
<i>♪♪ When everybody else</i>
<i>is wearing tan ♪♪</i>

52
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,330
<i>♪♪ The flashy girl</i>
<i>from Flushing ♪♪</i>

53
00:02:37,660 --> 00:02:38,383
<i>♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪</i>

54
00:02:41,283 --> 00:02:44,183
[♪♪♪]

55
00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:47,466
I can't believe
you told your mother

56
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,116
you were giving up men.

57
00:02:49,150 --> 00:02:51,200
-What did she do?
-Well, she tried to swallow

58
00:02:51,233 --> 00:02:54,250
a whole rotisserie chicken
in her mouth like a python.

59
00:02:55,450 --> 00:02:58,660
Maybe you should have told her
when she wasn't eating.

60
00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:01,300
[SCOFFS] Oy!
You try and catch lightning
in a bottle.

61
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:04,466
Oh, no, no, no. Don't mind me.

62
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,116
I just seem to have misplaced
something I need rather badly.

63
00:03:08,150 --> 00:03:09,416
-Oh?
-What does it look like,
sir?

64
00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:15,100
Well, it's a large,
gray overstuffed butler.

65
00:03:15,133 --> 00:03:17,166
I asked for these an hour ago.
You're fired.

66
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:18,366
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

67
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,466
I should have been
more attentive to my duty.

68
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,000
I don't know how you put up
with... Oh, bite me.

69
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,316
Oh, I've got to hurry home
and get on the Internet.

70
00:03:29,350 --> 00:03:32,316
I have met
the most fabulous man online.

71
00:03:32,350 --> 00:03:34,433
-Oh! What's his name?
-I don't know.

72
00:03:34,466 --> 00:03:38,660
We go by screen names.
His is Porsche Puppy.

73
00:03:39,233 --> 00:03:41,150
You're Good and Plenty?

74
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:55,000
I am so embarrassed.

75
00:03:55,330 --> 00:03:56,466
The things I said.

76
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,150
The things he said...

77
00:03:59,183 --> 00:04:02,233
You know, he's got quite a
vocabulary for a 15-year-old.

78
00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:05,350
Oh, cheer up.
You should be happy

79
00:04:05,383 --> 00:04:08,350
someone's still interested
in those old floppy disks.

80
00:04:11,383 --> 00:04:15,383
Oh, poor, Ms. Babcock.

81
00:04:15,416 --> 00:04:20,166
You must feel like
the biggest loser
in the world right now.

82
00:04:21,316 --> 00:04:23,466
Why don't you come out
with me and Val tonight?

83
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,250
We'll change all that.

84
00:04:26,283 --> 00:04:28,300
Nanny Fine,
give me one good reason

85
00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:30,830
I should go out with you.

86
00:04:30,116 --> 00:04:34,000
'Cause you just broke up
with a guy that still sees
a pediatrician.

87
00:04:34,333 --> 00:04:35,383
[MOUTHING] Yep.

88
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,183
[♪♪♪]

89
00:04:45,216 --> 00:04:48,116
[COUGHING]

90
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,350
I got one.

91
00:04:58,383 --> 00:05:00,466
You need a man
to hook up
speakers.

92
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,100
Oh! That's a good one.

93
00:05:03,133 --> 00:05:05,316
Putting together book shelves
from Home Depot.

94
00:05:05,350 --> 00:05:08,350
Oh, yeah.
[COUGHS]

95
00:05:08,383 --> 00:05:11,300
Helping
with the shopping and cooking.

96
00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:13,166
Doing heavy laundry.

97
00:05:14,150 --> 00:05:16,233
I'm sorry. I just know
from Jewish men.

98
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:22,233
You know, coming here
was a great idea.

99
00:05:22,266 --> 00:05:25,133
You're a lot smarter
than you look, Nanny Fine.

100
00:05:25,166 --> 00:05:28,330
Well, I should hope so.

101
00:05:30,316 --> 00:05:33,150
Look at those men over
there
staring at us smoke.

102
00:05:33,183 --> 00:05:36,383
It's not very feminine. I
wonder
why it turns them on so much?

103
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,660
Hi.

104
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,250
Oh, if you don't mind,

105
00:05:45,283 --> 00:05:47,350
we're having
a girls' night
only.

106
00:05:47,383 --> 00:05:50,200
-Who you interested in?
-Her.

107
00:05:50,233 --> 00:05:52,250
Yeah. Girls' night only, bub.

108
00:05:53,383 --> 00:05:56,250
That's too bad, I saw you
from across the room,

109
00:05:56,283 --> 00:05:58,166
-and I was gonna...
-Catch you later.

110
00:06:01,183 --> 00:06:03,116
[LAUGHS]

111
00:06:04,216 --> 00:06:06,330
What's so funny?

112
00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:09,283
Oh, I just remembered
something Porsche Puppy said.

113
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,316
[♪♪♪]

114
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,383
Excuse me, sir.

115
00:06:19,416 --> 00:06:22,160
I'm leaving now,
as per your firing me.

116
00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:25,366
Just save your apologies.
I can take this abuse no
longer.

117
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:29,350
-Just bring my bloody lunch
in.
-Good to be back, sir.

118
00:06:32,283 --> 00:06:33,400
Where's Ms. Fine?

119
00:06:33,433 --> 00:06:35,450
She's out with Ms. Babcock.

120
00:06:35,483 --> 00:06:39,500
You know, our two
single independent women.

121
00:06:39,830 --> 00:06:40,416
When you sent Ms. Fine
to therapy,

122
00:06:40,450 --> 00:06:42,300
you never thought
how it would affect me.

123
00:06:42,333 --> 00:06:46,133
Ms. Babcock should be here.
She's my home entertainment
center.

124
00:06:48,830 --> 00:06:50,160
Niles, can you get me a drink?

125
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:53,200
Happy hour doesn't start
till you go home. See, it
just
doesn't work with her.

126
00:06:55,830 --> 00:06:56,483
Look, would you stop
complaining?

127
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,266
Ms. Fine
giving up men is a godsend.

128
00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:02,266
But sir, you're a man,
despite
the way you dribble a ball

129
00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:04,416
and those bath beads
you like so much.

130
00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:08,250
This is not about me.

131
00:07:08,283 --> 00:07:11,250
Ms. Fine giving up
her urge to be in a
relationship

132
00:07:11,283 --> 00:07:13,330
is the best thing for her.

133
00:07:13,660 --> 00:07:14,433
No more rushing
into romances,

134
00:07:14,466 --> 00:07:16,266
no more getting
her poor heart broken.

135
00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:18,150
No more nudging you to
make a commitment.

136
00:07:18,183 --> 00:07:20,160
Yeah, I know.
Isn't it wonderful?

137
00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:23,266
The best part of it is,
it's all the doctor's idea.

138
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:25,350
There's no way
I can be blamed for this.

139
00:07:25,383 --> 00:07:28,330
I blame you for this.

140
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:32,216
I don't know
who the bigger nut is,

141
00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:35,216
that shrink for telling her
she doesn't need to get
married.

142
00:07:35,250 --> 00:07:38,316
Or you for paying for it.

143
00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:40,450
Tell her that you can't
afford it, that you're
broke.

144
00:07:40,483 --> 00:07:43,830
Well, she'll never believe
that.
He's worth millions.

145
00:07:43,116 --> 00:07:46,450
Have you ever thought
of investing in a bagel
nosh
in Boca?

146
00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:52,150
I know a couple
that could run it for you.

147
00:07:54,830 --> 00:07:56,466
Sylvia, look,
your daughter has reevaluated

148
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,350
her goals in life,
and we're just gonna
have to support her.

149
00:07:59,383 --> 00:08:02,500
Why?
She doesn't support my goals

150
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:04,333
that she get married,
have children...

151
00:08:04,366 --> 00:08:07,116
See her picture in this frame.

152
00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:09,183
That's my family.

153
00:08:09,216 --> 00:08:10,466
Hello?

154
00:08:12,433 --> 00:08:15,330
Oy, I am so upset.

155
00:08:15,660 --> 00:08:18,283
I don't know whether
this is Muenster or Jack.

156
00:08:19,483 --> 00:08:22,100
Sylvia. Sylvia, listen to me.

157
00:08:22,133 --> 00:08:25,316
You're going to have to give
your daughter room to grow

158
00:08:25,350 --> 00:08:27,366
or you're gonna risk
alienating her.

159
00:08:28,316 --> 00:08:30,450
How could I be so stupid?

160
00:08:30,483 --> 00:08:34,250
This is cheddar
with port-wine marbling.

161
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:40,250
[♪♪♪]

162
00:08:42,116 --> 00:08:44,183
Okay.
One question, little buddy.

163
00:08:46,350 --> 00:08:48,830
Do you think this
leather jacket

164
00:08:48,116 --> 00:08:50,400
is a little too come-hither
for a gay club?

165
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:54,466
Well, personally,
I have problems

166
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,283
with tall blond Aryans
in leather jackets.

167
00:08:58,466 --> 00:09:00,483
What makes you think
the place is a gay
club?

168
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:02,483
Why, I heard
your mother scream at you

169
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,433
for pursuing
a sick alternative
lifestyle.

170
00:09:05,466 --> 00:09:08,183
Oh, she just meant
being single.

171
00:09:12,166 --> 00:09:14,383
Oh, do you have to know
every bloody thing

172
00:09:14,416 --> 00:09:15,466
that's going on in this house?

173
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,433
You're like a fishwife.

174
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:20,116
Okay, Dad.

175
00:09:20,150 --> 00:09:22,200
They're going
to a blues bar with Val.

176
00:09:22,233 --> 00:09:23,433
C.C.'s treating to a cab.

177
00:09:23,466 --> 00:09:27,150
Now, the boots that I want
are on hold at Bergdorf's.

178
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,433
-[CLEARS THROAT]
-You know, If we change our
hair
appointments to the same day,

179
00:09:32,466 --> 00:09:35,250
we can talk under the dryers.

180
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,100
-You know what, Nanny Fine?
-What?

181
00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:38,466
I'm not even gonna take
my purse.

182
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,283
I don't need
my perfume or my makeup.

183
00:09:41,316 --> 00:09:43,660
I'm not primping for a man.

184
00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:46,330
You know what?
I don't need my purse either.

185
00:09:46,660 --> 00:09:47,233
Let's go.

186
00:09:47,266 --> 00:09:50,233
You know what, wait a minute.
I just need one thing in here.

187
00:09:50,266 --> 00:09:51,450
Just one minute here.

188
00:09:51,483 --> 00:09:54,250
I gotta have
this and my credit card.

189
00:09:54,283 --> 00:09:57,330
I'm gonna just take that.
And then a couple more things.

190
00:09:57,660 --> 00:09:58,450
I can't really live
without them.

191
00:09:58,483 --> 00:10:01,266
You know what? I can't do
this.
I can't...

192
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,150
Na, I'm not ready for this
yet,
that's all.

193
00:10:03,183 --> 00:10:06,150
-[DOORBELL RINGS]
-Oh, I'll get it.

194
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,116
-Hi.
-Hi.

195
00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:12,183
Listen, I can't go out
with you tonight

196
00:10:12,216 --> 00:10:14,166
and celebrate
that we don't need men.

197
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,100
-Why?
-Because I got one.

198
00:10:18,350 --> 00:10:21,400
Bye, Val. Have fun.

199
00:10:21,433 --> 00:10:23,333
Well, looks like it's just
you and me, Ms. Babcock.

200
00:10:23,366 --> 00:10:25,300
-More no men for us.
-Yeah.

201
00:10:26,383 --> 00:10:28,200
Chandler,
what are you doing here?

202
00:10:28,233 --> 00:10:31,183
I just stopped by
to drop off these contracts.

203
00:10:31,216 --> 00:10:32,450
All right, that's a lie.

204
00:10:32,483 --> 00:10:34,450
I own three Broadway theaters.

205
00:10:34,483 --> 00:10:38,350
I don't need to deliver
my own contracts, I just...

206
00:10:38,383 --> 00:10:42,160
wanted to catch one more
glimpse
of that smooth white skin.

207
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:43,416
Oh, well, Maxwell's English.

208
00:10:43,450 --> 00:10:46,000
You know,
they all have that milky...

209
00:10:47,216 --> 00:10:48,400
Oh, me?

210
00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:52,500
I know this is kind of
last-minute, but...

211
00:10:52,830 --> 00:10:54,660
Do you think you could
join me for dinner tonight?

212
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:58,216
Well, Chandler,
it's 8:30 on a Saturday night.

213
00:10:58,250 --> 00:10:59,300
Yes.

214
00:11:02,383 --> 00:11:06,266
Well, good night
and thank you very much.

215
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,400
Boy, I hope she's not planning
on getting lucky tonight.

216
00:11:10,433 --> 00:11:12,350
-Why not?
-'Cause she took my purse.

217
00:11:12,383 --> 00:11:15,116
The only protection
I got in there
is a picture of ma.

218
00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:16,283
[BOTH LAUGH]

219
00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:29,830
Okay, how about this one?
You win the lottery,
get struck by lightning

220
00:11:29,116 --> 00:11:32,266
and you're invited
to the White House
by President Perot?

221
00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:35,400
No, no.

222
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,366
The odds of Val and Ms. Babcock

223
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,200
both having boyfriends
is still higher.

224
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:46,830
I suppose
we should be happy for them.

225
00:11:46,116 --> 00:11:48,830
-But who is?
-Ah, screw 'em.

226
00:11:51,133 --> 00:11:53,383
You know, they're going out
on another double date
tonight.

227
00:11:53,416 --> 00:11:57,100
They asked me to join them,
but... I don't wanna be
a fifth wheel.

228
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,483
Oh, if I were you, I would go.

229
00:11:59,316 --> 00:12:00,383
-Really?
-Of course.

230
00:12:00,416 --> 00:12:03,133
Remember,
when a tire goes out on a
car,

231
00:12:03,166 --> 00:12:05,150
they need that fifth wheel.

232
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,200
-What's that mean?
-I don't know.

233
00:12:09,233 --> 00:12:11,450
I'm depressed about Ms.
Babcock.
I've been in the brandy.

234
00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:19,316
Oh, what is wrong with me?
I can hold my own without a
man.

235
00:12:19,350 --> 00:12:22,183
I'm an independent,
self-sufficient woman.

236
00:12:22,216 --> 00:12:25,660
You know what?
I'm gonna march right down
there

237
00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:26,233
and order me a lobster.

238
00:12:26,266 --> 00:12:29,166
-A lobster?
-I'll bat my eyes a few
times.

239
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,100
The boys will pick up the check.

240
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,000
Oh, where's Ms. Fine?

241
00:12:35,330 --> 00:12:37,183
She's stepping out with my baby.

242
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:40,416
I was gonna cheer her up.

243
00:12:40,450 --> 00:12:43,433
I made reservations for the
two
of us at La Côte Basque.

244
00:12:44,250 --> 00:12:46,133
Oh, well, never mind.

245
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:49,000
-What are you doing tonight?
-Oh, nothing sir.

246
00:12:49,330 --> 00:12:50,183
-Free as a bird.
-Oh, good.

247
00:12:50,216 --> 00:12:52,266
Cancel my reservations
and make me a taco.

248
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,350
[♪♪♪]

249
00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:04,000
Now, before we dig in,
I just want to say this
evening
is on me.

250
00:13:04,330 --> 00:13:05,150
Oh, no, no, no.

251
00:13:05,183 --> 00:13:07,500
Say something.

252
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,333
Can I order
the really big shrimp?

253
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,400
Why don't I choose a wine?

254
00:13:14,416 --> 00:13:16,366
Hi.

255
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,350
But not that one.

256
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,183
-Hi.
-Hi.

257
00:13:21,216 --> 00:13:24,366
We were beginning to hope...
think you wouldn't come.

258
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,383
I'll just sit on the side
here.
Just move over,
just a little bit.

259
00:13:27,416 --> 00:13:29,183
I don't take up a lot of room.

260
00:13:30,366 --> 00:13:34,283
I don't know why we haven't
done this before, Ms. Babcock.

261
00:13:34,316 --> 00:13:36,660
Me neither, Val.

262
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:37,333
<i>Salud.</i>

263
00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:41,400
That's why.

264
00:13:49,183 --> 00:13:50,433
Good garlic toast.

265
00:13:57,266 --> 00:14:00,160
You know, next time
we all go out together,
we should try

266
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:01,400
the Chinese restaurant
next door.

267
00:14:01,433 --> 00:14:03,450
That's the real McCoy.

268
00:14:04,266 --> 00:14:05,433
Full of Jews.

269
00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:15,350
Oh, the cheese
is just a little
clumpy.

270
00:14:15,383 --> 00:14:17,660
Maybe we should order
our entrées.

271
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:19,116
Oh, good. That's a good idea.
Yeah, let's order.

272
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:21,366
Wait, someone
must be sitting on my menu.

273
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,316
-FRAN: Oh? No, no.
-VAL: Oh, no.

274
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,830
Fran. Fran.

275
00:14:28,116 --> 00:14:30,400
-CHANDLER: Are you all right?
-Yes, okay. I'm okay.

276
00:14:30,433 --> 00:14:33,133
I'm fine. I'm fine.
Go back to your calamari.

277
00:14:33,166 --> 00:14:34,283
Nothing to see here.

278
00:14:34,316 --> 00:14:37,316
-Why don't I sit on the end?
-Oh, okay.

279
00:14:37,350 --> 00:14:40,400
-Thanks. Thank you. Thanks.
-Okay.

280
00:14:40,433 --> 00:14:43,150
How embarrassing.

281
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:46,350
Okay. Here we go. All right.

282
00:14:46,383 --> 00:14:50,500
Now, let's see. Hmm.

283
00:14:50,830 --> 00:14:53,450
Dinner for two.
Chateaubriand for two.

284
00:14:53,483 --> 00:14:58,433
That's for two. What is this?
A restaurant or an ark?

285
00:14:58,466 --> 00:15:01,483
You know Fran, I think that guy
over there is flirting with you.

286
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:03,350
Look, he's waving,
he's pointing.

287
00:15:03,383 --> 00:15:06,500
Oh, Val, I so don't care.

288
00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:09,500
Why does a man think
just because a woman is alone

289
00:15:09,830 --> 00:15:11,000
that she instantly
wants a companion?

290
00:15:11,330 --> 00:15:12,233
Oh, here we go. Here we go.

291
00:15:12,266 --> 00:15:14,250
-Excuse me.
-Yes?

292
00:15:14,283 --> 00:15:17,200
There's a candle behind you,
and I think your hair's on
fire.

293
00:15:19,383 --> 00:15:23,333
Okay. All right. Okay. Okay.
Everything's okay. Okay.

294
00:15:23,366 --> 00:15:25,300
Stop hitting me, Val.

295
00:15:28,133 --> 00:15:30,250
-Okay.
-I think this
garlic bread's burned

296
00:15:30,283 --> 00:15:32,183
or got smoked cheese
or something.

297
00:15:32,216 --> 00:15:33,483
Oh, right, right.

298
00:15:35,466 --> 00:15:39,100
I just thought it was hot
because I'm sitting next to
you.

299
00:15:39,383 --> 00:15:42,330
Oh, stop.

300
00:15:47,133 --> 00:15:49,383
[WHISTLING]

301
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,366
Maximum capacity 140.

302
00:16:16,416 --> 00:16:19,133
[EURYTHMICS
"WOULD I LIE TO YOU" PLAYING]

303
00:16:20,216 --> 00:16:23,150
-Care to dance?
-I would.

304
00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:26,200
How about it, Val?
Would you like to dance?

305
00:16:26,233 --> 00:16:29,150
Well, I don't want to leave
Fran sitting here all
by herself.

306
00:16:29,183 --> 00:16:31,450
Oh, no, it's okay, honey.
Go ahead. Have fun.

307
00:16:31,483 --> 00:16:33,366
-All right.
-You know what?

308
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,366
-I could dance by myself.
-Yeah.

309
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,350
That's exactly
what I'm gonna do.

310
00:16:38,383 --> 00:16:42,216
<i>♪♪ Oh yeah</i>
<i>Would I lie to you honey? ♪♪</i>

311
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:44,500
<i>♪♪ No, no, no ♪♪</i>

312
00:16:44,830 --> 00:16:47,366
<i>♪♪ Now would I say something</i>
<i>that wasn't true? ♪♪</i>

313
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:52,116
<i>♪♪ I'm asking you sugar</i>
<i>Would I lie to you? ♪♪</i>

314
00:16:52,150 --> 00:16:54,133
<i>♪♪ My friends - know... ♪♪</i>

315
00:16:54,166 --> 00:16:58,500
[GLORIA ESTEFAN'S
"ANYTHING FOR YOU" PLAYING]
<i>♪♪ Not here ♪♪</i>

316
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:02,383
<i>♪♪ In spite of it all ♪♪</i>

317
00:17:02,416 --> 00:17:06,160
<i>♪♪ I've learned so much</i>
<i>from you ♪♪</i>

318
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:08,300
<i>♪♪ You made me strong ♪♪</i>

319
00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:12,216
<i>♪♪ Don't you ever think</i>
<i>that I don't love you ♪♪</i>

320
00:17:12,250 --> 00:17:15,400
<i>♪♪ That for one minute</i>
<i>I forgot you ♪♪</i>

321
00:17:15,433 --> 00:17:19,000
<i>♪♪ But sometimes</i>
<i>things don't work out right</i>
<i>♪♪</i>

322
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,383
<i>♪♪ And you just have to</i>
<i>say goodbye... ♪♪</i>

323
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:25,383
-Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
-No, that's all right.

324
00:17:25,416 --> 00:17:27,433
We're staying
at the airport Hilton.

325
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:37,160
[♪♪♪]

326
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:42,830
I mean, what do we really know
about this Chandler fellow

327
00:17:42,116 --> 00:17:44,000
Ms. Babcock's so fond of?

328
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:47,133
Mm. Where did that
psychiatrist
get his degree?

329
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:48,383
That's what I'd like to know.

330
00:17:49,350 --> 00:17:50,483
Gin.

331
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:56,330
I mean, what kind of an
imbecile
encourages a single woman

332
00:17:56,660 --> 00:18:00,116
to go out with two couples
like some kind of a fifth
wheel?

333
00:18:01,283 --> 00:18:03,416
Yes, it's madness, sir.

334
00:18:05,183 --> 00:18:09,166
I sent her to that
psychiatrist
to stop this dating lunacy

335
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,433
and get her to spend more time
here with me.

336
00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:13,250
Well, the children, you know.

337
00:18:13,283 --> 00:18:14,483
Oh, gin.

338
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,500
It's time you went
to bed, Brighton.

339
00:18:19,830 --> 00:18:21,150
Okay. Well here's
what you guys owe me.

340
00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:24,330
He's a good card player.

341
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,133
Oh well, he learned it from me.

342
00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:29,266
-Well, good night, sir.
-Yeah, good night.

343
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:30,466
Oh, listen, Niles,

344
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,100
I was thinking,
tomorrow is Saturday.

345
00:18:34,133 --> 00:18:37,166
-Do you have any plans?
-Why?

346
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,483
You want me
to move the piano upstairs?

347
00:18:40,466 --> 00:18:44,300
Snake the drains
in all the bathrooms?

348
00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:47,133
Well actually, I was gonna
ask you to join me at the club
for brunch,

349
00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:48,400
but if you're gonna
have that attitude,

350
00:18:48,433 --> 00:18:51,116
you can just stay home,
and heat yourself
a bloody Pizza Pocket.

351
00:18:56,133 --> 00:18:57,433
Uh, bye.

352
00:18:57,466 --> 00:19:01,500
Yeah... no, no, no.
I can't tomorrow.

353
00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:03,350
Oh, go home, you zanies.

354
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:08,200
Oh, those four,
just party, party, party.

355
00:19:08,233 --> 00:19:11,283
But, you know,
I gotta get up in the
morning.

356
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:14,450
-So, what?
You had a good time, Ms. Fine?
-Need you ask?

357
00:19:14,483 --> 00:19:18,660
Does this look like the face
of
a person that had a bad time?

358
00:19:19,433 --> 00:19:23,116
I had a fabulous time.
Why do you think I've been out
half the night?

359
00:19:23,150 --> 00:19:25,383
Well, Ms. Fine, it's only 8:15.

360
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:29,116
I had a horrible time.

361
00:19:29,483 --> 00:19:34,233
Oh, Ms. Fine, there, there.

362
00:19:34,266 --> 00:19:37,266
You know, Ms. Fine,
it's a very brave thing you
did.

363
00:19:38,183 --> 00:19:39,383
Just after Sara died,

364
00:19:39,416 --> 00:19:43,133
when I had to venture out
on my own for the first time,

365
00:19:43,166 --> 00:19:47,000
just me and my butler
and my chauffeur...

366
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:52,283
Well, the point is...
the point is, Ms. Fine,

367
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:55,400
this independence takes time.

368
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:58,100
I'll tell you what.

369
00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:00,433
Just for now,
why don't we practice

370
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:03,266
being on our own together?

371
00:20:04,350 --> 00:20:06,200
On our own together?

372
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,383
That could work.

373
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:13,160
-What are you playing?
-Solitaire.

374
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:14,133
Can I play too?

375
00:20:14,166 --> 00:20:15,166
Uh, well, actually Ms. Fine,

376
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:16,450
it's a game for one
person to...

377
00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:20,100
Oh, all right. Go on. Have a go.

378
00:20:21,383 --> 00:20:24,183
Oh, well, here's
your whole problem, mister.

379
00:20:24,216 --> 00:20:26,200
You got a king
over here by himself

380
00:20:26,233 --> 00:20:29,250
and you got a queen over there
alone like a dog.

381
00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,383
Put your queen
on top of your king

382
00:20:33,416 --> 00:20:35,283
and watch what happens.

383
00:20:36,483 --> 00:20:39,830
-Over there.
-All right.

384
00:20:39,116 --> 00:20:41,150
-Okay. Yes.
-Move that over there.

385
00:20:41,183 --> 00:20:42,316
-All right.
-Okay.

386
00:20:42,350 --> 00:20:45,366
Oh, now we're getting
some action, you see?

387
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,216
All right. And I'm done.

388
00:20:49,266 --> 00:20:51,383
See how fast I finished?

389
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:54,166
And you wonder
why you're playing solitaire.

390
00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:12,200
When I snap my fingers...

391
00:21:12,233 --> 00:21:16,183
you will no longer try to
fix
your daughter up with men.

392
00:21:16,216 --> 00:21:20,000
You will no longer be obsessed
with her getting married.

393
00:21:22,266 --> 00:21:26,000
And you'll have a burning
desire
to move to Boca.

394
00:21:29,483 --> 00:21:32,450
Fran,
I just had a fabulous idea.

395
00:21:32,483 --> 00:21:34,300
It came to me in a dream.

396
00:21:34,333 --> 00:21:35,383
What, ma?

397
00:21:35,416 --> 00:21:38,133
You'll get married in Boca.

398
00:21:42,433 --> 00:21:45,366
All right.
This session's on me.

399
00:21:47,133 --> 00:21:49,250
[♪♪♪]

400
00:21:56,183 --> 00:21:59,283
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]