1
00:00:02,660 --> 00:00:06,183
[MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:06,216 --> 00:00:07,383
Oh, would you
look at you?
3
00:00:07,416 --> 00:00:10,500
Working like a dog
on a Saturday night.
4
00:00:10,830 --> 00:00:12,116
That's why the man
pays you the big buck.
5
00:00:12,150 --> 00:00:14,830
[CHUCKLES]
6
00:00:14,116 --> 00:00:17,500
You know, it's nice that
you're becoming this
independent woman
7
00:00:17,830 --> 00:00:19,500
who feels good
about staying at home
8
00:00:19,830 --> 00:00:20,466
but could you at least
wear thigh-high boots
9
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,250
so I can feel good
about staying at home too.
10
00:00:24,283 --> 00:00:27,133
Come on, let's watch
a real tear-jerker.
11
00:00:27,166 --> 00:00:32,316
Oh, how many times can we watch
James Mason walk into the ocean?
12
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:38,466
No. This is a real
gut-wrenching,
cry-your-eyes-out time.
13
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,150
I taped Bryant Gumbel's goodbye
on theToday
14
00:00:42,183 --> 00:00:43,250
Mmm!
15
00:00:47,266 --> 00:00:49,250
[SOBS]
16
00:00:51,316 --> 00:00:53,216
Oh, why did you
make me watch this?
17
00:00:53,250 --> 00:00:56,133
I was just getting over
Deborah Norville.
18
00:00:58,830 --> 00:00:59,400
Oh. Hmm.
19
00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:00,466
Mmm.
20
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:02,450
[SIGHS]
21
00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:06,100
[SNIFFLES] Hmm.
22
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,350
Ahh!
23
00:01:07,383 --> 00:01:10,660
Well, thank you so much
for driving me home
24
00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:11,266
from the party, Danielle.
25
00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:14,200
Oh, the pleasure's all mine,
Maxwell.
26
00:01:14,233 --> 00:01:16,300
Ah. Oh, well.
27
00:01:16,333 --> 00:01:17,400
Um... oh, whew!
28
00:01:17,433 --> 00:01:19,216
Look at the time.
29
00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:21,333
And I've got
an early day tomorrow.
30
00:01:21,366 --> 00:01:24,133
Then, um,
let's stay up all night.
31
00:01:24,166 --> 00:01:25,316
Um...
32
00:01:25,350 --> 00:01:28,330
Well, now, look, Danielle,
we've only just met
33
00:01:28,660 --> 00:01:31,150
and the thing is,
I'm afraid I've had
a bit too much to drink.
34
00:01:31,183 --> 00:01:35,166
Maxwell, you're not involved
with someone, are you?
35
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,366
- Yes.
- Who?
36
00:01:38,350 --> 00:01:40,433
I don't know.
37
00:01:40,466 --> 00:01:44,250
Well, then, um,
let's not tell her. Okay?
38
00:01:46,116 --> 00:01:48,166
DANIELLE: [MOANS SOFTLY]
39
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,333
[MOANING CONTINUES]
40
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,316
Good night, Mister--
41
00:02:00,350 --> 00:02:04,160
Oh, my God!
42
00:02:07,233 --> 00:02:09,350
In our own home?
43
00:02:09,383 --> 00:02:11,466
Ah, yes, let me--
44
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,350
Why don't I introduce--?
45
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:16,416
You know, I have three kids
upstairs that
you are responsible for.
46
00:02:16,450 --> 00:02:20,200
There better be a good
explanation for this.
47
00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:22,160
Is this the woman you're
involved with?
48
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:23,483
Hmm?
Oh, of course not.
49
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:25,466
This is my nanny.
50
00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:28,483
She seems very strict.
51
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:31,450
Now, look here, honey,
52
00:02:31,483 --> 00:02:34,830
we don't need some cheap floozy
in tight clothes
53
00:02:34,116 --> 00:02:36,330
turning his head around.
54
00:02:36,660 --> 00:02:37,416
That's what I'm here for.
55
00:02:39,350 --> 00:02:42,830
Now, it's not
what it looks like.
56
00:02:42,116 --> 00:02:43,466
Um, we were both
at a banker's party.
57
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,450
She was, um,
a guest of the host.
58
00:02:45,483 --> 00:02:49,316
I had just a little teeny
martini and I--
59
00:02:49,350 --> 00:02:52,183
Wait a minute.
Why am I explaining this to
you?
60
00:02:52,216 --> 00:02:54,133
You're not my wife.
61
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:56,450
Ohh!
62
00:02:56,483 --> 00:02:58,166
Oh...
63
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:03,166
[STAMMERS] I can't even process
that, it was so mean.
64
00:03:05,116 --> 00:03:07,400
That's it. I'm going home to
my
mother.
65
00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:13,383
Wait a minute.
I didn't do anything wrong.
66
00:03:13,416 --> 00:03:15,466
She's coming here.
67
00:03:19,383 --> 00:03:22,316
♪♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens ♪♪
68
00:03:22,350 --> 00:03:24,500
♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪♪
69
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:25,433
♪♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪♪
70
00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:27,400
♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪
71
00:03:27,433 --> 00:03:30,283
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
72
00:03:30,316 --> 00:03:33,200
♪♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing to the
Sheffield's door ♪♪
73
00:03:33,233 --> 00:03:36,000
♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup,
but the father saw more ♪♪
74
00:03:36,330 --> 00:03:38,116
♪♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there! ♪♪
75
00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:41,416
♪♪ That's how
she became the nanny! ♪♪
76
00:03:41,450 --> 00:03:44,400
♪♪ Who would have guessed that
the girl we've described ♪♪
77
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:47,000
♪♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
78
00:03:47,330 --> 00:03:48,300
♪♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling ♪♪
79
00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:50,000
♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪
80
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:51,660
♪♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪♪
81
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,316
♪♪ Such joie de vivre! ♪♪
82
00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:54,330
♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
83
00:03:54,660 --> 00:03:58,116
♪♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪♪
84
00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,166
♪♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪♪
85
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,000
♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪
86
00:04:09,466 --> 00:04:13,216
Good morning, everyone, but you.
87
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:16,300
Tart, sir?
88
00:04:16,333 --> 00:04:19,100
Been there. Done that.
89
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,183
Would you excuse us
a moment, children?
90
00:04:23,216 --> 00:04:26,100
Miss Fine and I need to
discuss
something in private.
91
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,300
Dad, it's no big secret.
92
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,000
Fran was asleep on the couch.
93
00:04:29,330 --> 00:04:30,450
You came home ripped
with a blond model.
94
00:04:30,483 --> 00:04:33,233
Then you kissed her.
Fran snagged you.
Now you're in the dog house.
95
00:04:33,266 --> 00:04:35,266
Pass the Smucker's.
96
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,416
How did you know?
97
00:04:37,450 --> 00:04:40,333
Well, Dad, if you just
learned
to trust us like Niles does.
98
00:04:40,366 --> 00:04:41,466
He tells us everything.
99
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,266
Come along, children.
100
00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:47,233
Time to take some Kaopectate
for that verbal diarrhea.
101
00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:52,150
Miss Fine, it's all
perfectly innocent.
102
00:04:52,183 --> 00:04:53,283
That young lady--
103
00:04:53,316 --> 00:04:55,133
Young? Ha!
104
00:04:55,166 --> 00:04:57,660
Maybe the new parts.
105
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:03,500
I don't know why I'm always
having to defend myself to
you.
106
00:05:03,830 --> 00:05:04,383
Hmm?
I'm a grown man.
107
00:05:04,416 --> 00:05:07,250
I can come and go as I please.
108
00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:10,116
I don't know who you are
anymore.
109
00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:13,216
I am your boss.
110
00:05:13,250 --> 00:05:15,266
You are the nanny.
111
00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:17,333
And that is an end to the
discussion.
112
00:05:17,366 --> 00:05:20,250
Fine. Then I'll say no more.
113
00:05:20,283 --> 00:05:22,100
Thank you.
114
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:37,400
Oh, Dr. Miller, I keep seeing
him with that woman
115
00:05:37,433 --> 00:05:40,500
over and over again
in my head.
116
00:05:40,830 --> 00:05:43,400
I mean, if all he wanted was
a night of cheap, tawdry sex
117
00:05:43,433 --> 00:05:45,383
with some floozy, well
118
00:05:45,416 --> 00:05:48,400
I'm already on the payroll.
119
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,150
Fran, you don't really
mean that, do you?
120
00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:59,500
Yes.
121
00:05:59,830 --> 00:06:04,433
Oh, God, how could he
do this to me?
122
00:06:05,483 --> 00:06:07,200
Fran, the problem is
123
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:10,383
you're elevating Mr.
Sheffield
to the role of a husband.
124
00:06:10,416 --> 00:06:15,160
Of course, you're gonna be
jealous if he goes around
behaving like a single man.
125
00:06:16,383 --> 00:06:18,166
Fran?
126
00:06:19,433 --> 00:06:21,150
Are you following me?
127
00:06:21,183 --> 00:06:23,450
Oh, I'm sorry, Dr. Miller.
128
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:28,366
It's just, after you put
"Mr. Sheffield" and "husband"
in the same sentence
129
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,166
everything else
kind of went underwater.
130
00:06:33,216 --> 00:06:37,266
Don't you see?
You're responding to him as
though you're in a
relationship.
131
00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:40,333
- Now, listen to me
carefully.
- Okay.
132
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:43,250
He's your boss.
133
00:06:43,283 --> 00:06:45,400
You are the nanny.
134
00:06:48,660 --> 00:06:51,160
Wow!
135
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:55,830
You mean, no one's ever pointed
that out to you before?
136
00:06:55,116 --> 00:06:56,316
Oh, constantly.
137
00:06:56,350 --> 00:07:00,383
But, you know, when you're
paying 140 bucks an hour
138
00:07:00,416 --> 00:07:04,660
it's got so much more
resonance.
139
00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:13,400
Niles, did my boyfriend call?
140
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,233
Oh, for heaven's sake,
you're almost 50.
141
00:07:16,266 --> 00:07:18,366
Do you have to call him
your boyfriend?
142
00:07:20,660 --> 00:07:23,160
You're just jealous
because I have a lover
143
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:24,450
and you have her.
144
00:07:26,316 --> 00:07:29,366
C.C., I've got your ticket
to the Broadway Guild Awards.
145
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:32,466
Ooh, I hope there's an extra
one
because I'll need two.
146
00:07:35,383 --> 00:07:38,160
Hello, Mr. Sheffield.
147
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:39,466
Oh, Miss Fine.
148
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,200
Well, you seem to have moved
past the unpleasantness
of the other morning.
149
00:07:43,233 --> 00:07:45,166
Did you have a good
therapy session?
150
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,216
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
151
00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:50,116
what goes on in a therapist's
office is confidential.
152
00:07:50,150 --> 00:07:53,166
You really shouldn't pry into
the private lives of others.
153
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:54,300
Oh, the newPeople.
154
00:07:56,150 --> 00:07:58,333
Well, I'm glad you're
feeling
better, Miss Fine.
155
00:07:58,366 --> 00:08:02,000
Oh, I am.
Dr. Miller is a genius.
156
00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:04,300
He is so intelligent
and insightful.
157
00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:07,250
I swear, I have never met a man
that understood me more.
158
00:08:07,283 --> 00:08:09,466
Ooh-hoo, sounds to me
like someone
159
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,350
might have a little crush
on their therapist.
160
00:08:13,383 --> 00:08:18,100
Sounds to me like someone
is a little jealous.
161
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,133
See what you're doing,
don't you?
162
00:08:22,166 --> 00:08:26,450
You are elevating me
to the status of wife.
163
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:34,500
That's why you can't stand
to see me act like
a beautiful, single woman.
164
00:08:34,830 --> 00:08:36,466
I can assure you, Miss Fine,
I'm not jealous.
165
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,183
- Denial.
- I'm not in denial.
166
00:08:39,216 --> 00:08:42,483
Denying denial.
167
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:47,233
So, what was this breakthrough
your genius therapist brought
you to?
168
00:08:50,350 --> 00:08:53,116
You are my boss
169
00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:56,233
and I am your nanny.
170
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:03,416
And that is what I am paying
$140 an hour for?
171
00:09:03,450 --> 00:09:06,266
I said the same thing to you
the other day.
172
00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:09,500
Yes, but you said it with anger.
173
00:09:09,830 --> 00:09:12,433
You really must learn
to communicate in a way
that I can absorb.
174
00:09:17,316 --> 00:09:19,500
[MUSIC PLAYING]
175
00:09:20,183 --> 00:09:22,333
So you gotta remember,
when the movie starts
176
00:09:22,366 --> 00:09:24,133
turn up your hearing aid.
177
00:09:24,166 --> 00:09:26,416
They got sound now?
178
00:09:27,416 --> 00:09:30,160
- Your turn.
- Oh, yeah.
179
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,333
Um, I'll have a, um,
a large popcorn,
180
00:09:32,366 --> 00:09:36,350
no butter, no oil, dry,
air-popped with a Diet Coke.
181
00:09:36,383 --> 00:09:40,500
- Anything else?
- Yeah, a Goobers,
a large Snickers
182
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,200
and a nachos
with extra cheese.
183
00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:47,183
Fran, you can eat all
that stuff in The Zone?
184
00:09:47,216 --> 00:09:49,216
- Yeah, the Twilight Zone.
- Mmm.
185
00:09:50,433 --> 00:09:53,466
Why can't I lose weight?
186
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,483
Maybe I should see a therapist
to help me stop eating.
187
00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:01,330
You know, it's the only thing
I haven't tried besides
diet and exercise.
188
00:10:02,216 --> 00:10:06,100
You know, Dr. Miller could help
you. He is an absolute genius.
189
00:10:06,133 --> 00:10:09,330
I'm telling you,
he's the next Sigmund Freud.
190
00:10:09,660 --> 00:10:12,350
He's an excellent doctor.
The best.
191
00:10:12,383 --> 00:10:14,133
You've been to Dr. Miller?
192
00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:16,500
No. Freud.
193
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,266
FRAN: Oh, my God.
194
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:20,466
There's Dr. Miller. There he is.
195
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,200
Oh, let's go over and say
hello.
Oh, no. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
196
00:10:24,233 --> 00:10:29,433
If he asks me how I am
and I answer him,
is he gonna charge me?
197
00:10:29,466 --> 00:10:31,433
Fran, look at you.
You're so nervous.
198
00:10:31,466 --> 00:10:36,250
- Well, Val, we are in the
presence of genius here.
- Oh.
199
00:10:36,283 --> 00:10:42,500
My only goal is that someday
I be as confident and
brilliant
200
00:10:42,830 --> 00:10:44,283
and sophisticated
as that man.
201
00:10:44,316 --> 00:10:47,416
You mean the one
picking his nose?
202
00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:54,000
Oh, Yetta, a man as
distinguished as Dr. Miller
203
00:10:54,330 --> 00:10:57,333
doesn't pick his nose-- Wow,
he's really digging up there.
204
00:10:57,366 --> 00:11:00,300
Oh, my God.
205
00:11:01,266 --> 00:11:02,450
You know, it must be so nice
206
00:11:02,483 --> 00:11:06,350
to be so comfortable
with yourself.
207
00:11:06,383 --> 00:11:10,350
What's your shrink trying to
do,
pick his own brains?
208
00:11:11,483 --> 00:11:13,830
Oh, he's coming over.
209
00:11:13,116 --> 00:11:15,000
- He's coming--
- Oh, Fran, what a surprise.
210
00:11:15,330 --> 00:11:17,000
- Hi.
- How are you?
211
00:11:17,330 --> 00:11:19,200
Have you met my friend, Val?
212
00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:26,233
[MUSIC PLAYING]
213
00:11:26,266 --> 00:11:29,200
Honey, what are you doing home?
Don't you have therapy now?
214
00:11:29,233 --> 00:11:31,116
Oh, no. I canceled it.
215
00:11:31,150 --> 00:11:35,150
You know, I think I'm very
disillusioned by Dr. Miller.
216
00:11:35,183 --> 00:11:40,266
It reminds me of the time when
Mrs. Brady started dating Greg.
217
00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:46,433
Adds a whole new meaning
to being busy with
three boys of your own.
218
00:11:50,830 --> 00:11:52,133
Honey, what did the doctor do?
219
00:11:52,166 --> 00:11:57,330
Oh, Ma, something so repulsive
and disgusting, I can't even
talk about it.
220
00:11:57,660 --> 00:11:59,333
-Ma, he picked his nose
in public.
-[GASPS]
221
00:11:59,366 --> 00:12:01,333
Ohh!
222
00:12:01,366 --> 00:12:06,250
Some people are
so unaware about how
they look to other people.
223
00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:16,116
Oh, Ma, swear that you're not
gonna tell Mr. Sheffield.
224
00:12:16,150 --> 00:12:18,383
I built this guy up
to be such a genius
225
00:12:18,416 --> 00:12:22,830
that I don't wanna look
like ashmegegge.
226
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,416
Sweetheart, you live with him.
227
00:12:23,450 --> 00:12:26,433
You raise his three children
without a ring on your
finger.
228
00:12:26,466 --> 00:12:28,333
You're already ashmegegge.
229
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:35,350
Ma, that is my job. I happen
to
be a child care professional.
230
00:12:35,383 --> 00:12:37,116
MAGGIE: Fran?
231
00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:39,160
What's that?
232
00:12:39,483 --> 00:12:41,383
One of the kid's calling.
233
00:12:41,416 --> 00:12:43,366
Oh! Coming.
234
00:12:45,283 --> 00:12:47,466
Niles, where's my--? Never mind.
235
00:12:49,150 --> 00:12:51,000
Oh, Sylvia,
236
00:12:51,330 --> 00:12:54,233
if you're looking for your
daughter, she's on her way to
therapy.
237
00:12:54,266 --> 00:12:55,466
No. She's upstairs.
238
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,216
She's not going
to that doctor anymore.
239
00:12:58,250 --> 00:13:00,830
Oh, why? What happened?
240
00:13:00,116 --> 00:13:04,160
Well, he did something
very inappropriate.
241
00:13:05,383 --> 00:13:09,400
She doesn't want me to tell
you.
She's afraid you'll overreact.
242
00:13:11,183 --> 00:13:12,400
Well, what did he do?
243
00:13:12,433 --> 00:13:18,400
Let's just say he put his
hand
someplace he shouldn't have.
244
00:13:18,433 --> 00:13:22,450
Oh, my God! And nobody's
gonna do anything about it?
245
00:13:22,483 --> 00:13:25,350
What are you gonna do,
call the police?
246
00:13:25,383 --> 00:13:29,500
They would come to arrest
every man on the subway.
247
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,483
Oh, look at you.
248
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:42,333
You look very '60s.
249
00:13:42,366 --> 00:13:44,250
It's a Dolce & Gabbana.
250
00:13:44,283 --> 00:13:46,150
Mmm, I was talking
about your face.
251
00:13:47,383 --> 00:13:49,433
Oh, by the way,
this came for you.
252
00:13:49,466 --> 00:13:51,250
What are all those
big creases in it?
253
00:13:51,283 --> 00:13:53,166
It was stuffed
in the mailbox.
254
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,166
I was talking about your neck.
255
00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:00,233
Oh, things are heating up
with Chandler.
256
00:14:00,266 --> 00:14:03,150
- He sent me the key
to his apartment.
- Mmm!
257
00:14:03,183 --> 00:14:05,266
"Dear C.C.,
258
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:09,100
you're suffocating me.
Here's your key back."
259
00:14:09,133 --> 00:14:11,150
Oh, you poor thing.
260
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:14,000
No date for your big
award ceremony Saturday?
261
00:14:14,330 --> 00:14:18,116
That ungrateful--
I waited on him hand and foot.
262
00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:20,366
Every morning at 6:30,
I brought him a hot latte.
263
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,216
I called him 40 times a day to
make sure he was eating right.
264
00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:26,366
How could he say
I was suffocating him?
265
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:30,300
You poor thing. I can't
imagine
anything more humiliating.
266
00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:33,660
Oh, yeah? How's this?
267
00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:34,316
What are you doing
Saturday night?
268
00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:36,483
What makes you think
I'd be caught dead
269
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:38,316
at an award ceremony with you?
270
00:14:38,350 --> 00:14:40,660
Two hundred-fifty bucks?
271
00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:41,433
Pick me up at 8 and
buy yourself a corsage.
272
00:14:41,466 --> 00:14:43,116
I don't wanna look chintzy.
273
00:14:46,133 --> 00:14:48,333
- [KNOCKING]
- MAXWELL: Miss Fine,
are you decent?
274
00:14:48,366 --> 00:14:51,200
Uh, yeah, but I can get
indecent in a minute.
275
00:14:53,150 --> 00:14:55,483
I just want you to know
that what your therapist did
276
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:59,216
was reprehensible.
And I support you 100 percent.
277
00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:03,830
How could Ma have told you?
278
00:15:03,116 --> 00:15:05,450
I left her with so much food.
279
00:15:07,830 --> 00:15:09,333
You-- Do you wanna
talk about it?
280
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:14,330
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
it's just that I always
thought of Dr. Miller
281
00:15:14,660 --> 00:15:17,383
as being so professional
with such impeccable
character.
282
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:20,416
I would have never thought
he could do anything so...
283
00:15:20,450 --> 00:15:24,166
[SHUDDERS] ...disgusting.
284
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,350
The man should have
his license revoked.
285
00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:28,383
Well, I don't know about that.
286
00:15:28,416 --> 00:15:31,216
I mean, all guys need
to do it now and then.
287
00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:35,300
But usually they have
the decency to wait until
they get into the car.
288
00:15:45,266 --> 00:15:48,000
Excuse me. I don't mean
to be presumptuous
289
00:15:48,330 --> 00:15:50,366
but you are one
of the most beautiful women
290
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,660
I have ever seen.
291
00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:56,000
Oh, well, thanks.
292
00:15:58,366 --> 00:16:01,830
Gee, you know,
you seem pretty together.
293
00:16:01,116 --> 00:16:03,183
What are you doing
going to therapy?
294
00:16:03,216 --> 00:16:05,466
Oh, I'm a compulsive liar.
295
00:16:11,183 --> 00:16:14,000
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
what are you doing here?
296
00:16:14,330 --> 00:16:17,133
I've come to give this
doctor,
and I use the term loosely,
297
00:16:17,166 --> 00:16:19,166
a piece of my mind.
298
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,133
More important question is,
what
are you doing here, Miss Fine?
299
00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:24,183
Well, I wanted to confront him.
300
00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:26,266
And I felt like you already
paid for the session,
301
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:30,233
I might as well work
through the trauma of
seeing my parents in bed.
302
00:16:32,183 --> 00:16:33,333
Having sex?
303
00:16:33,366 --> 00:16:34,483
No. Whitefish.
304
00:16:36,450 --> 00:16:38,383
Oh, I'm next.
305
00:16:38,416 --> 00:16:40,383
So, do you want me
to go in with you?
306
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:45,150
Oh, no. I really need
to learn how to handle these
situations like an adult
307
00:16:45,183 --> 00:16:48,500
and not always expect you
to be there to take care of
me.
308
00:16:48,830 --> 00:16:51,500
- I understand.
- Can I have a little
huggy-poo first?
309
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:59,450
You're Maxwell Sheffield,
the producer.
310
00:16:59,483 --> 00:17:03,350
Well, I've seen every one of
your shows. You're brilliant.
311
00:17:03,383 --> 00:17:06,266
Oh, thank you.
312
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,466
- So did you enjoy the movie?
- Oh, not really.
313
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,830
Thank God I bought a box of
boogers-- I mean, Goobers.
314
00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:21,160
You, uh, seem a bit anxious.
315
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,400
Well, it's just that I do
have something on my mind
316
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:26,300
and I just find it
so difficult articulating
317
00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:30,150
that I saw you
picking your nose.
318
00:17:32,133 --> 00:17:33,216
You did?
319
00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:35,283
And you found that
so offensive?
320
00:17:35,316 --> 00:17:38,000
Yeah. I could vomit.
321
00:17:39,216 --> 00:17:43,200
You catch me doing
something perfectly human
322
00:17:43,233 --> 00:17:45,383
and now you've changed
your entire opinion
323
00:17:45,416 --> 00:17:50,160
just because you saw me
with my finger in my nose?
324
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:12,350
Well, don't you see
what you're doing?
325
00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:15,433
You're doing the same thing to
me as you do to Mr. Sheffield.
326
00:18:15,466 --> 00:18:20,160
It is very common
for a woman to idealize
the men in her life,
327
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,830
hoping that she'll find one
as perfect as her father.
328
00:18:23,116 --> 00:18:25,330
Oh, you're right, doctor.
329
00:18:25,660 --> 00:18:27,283
A guy who sleeps all day,
wears a bad wig
330
00:18:27,316 --> 00:18:31,400
and stinks of chopped liver
doesn't fall off trees.
331
00:18:31,433 --> 00:18:35,300
No way are you old enough
to have a 17-year-old daughter?
332
00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:38,400
Yeah, yeah, sincerely.
I'm 44-years-old.
333
00:18:38,433 --> 00:18:41,216
- What?
- Yes, I am.
334
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:43,333
Oh, so how did it go?
335
00:18:43,366 --> 00:18:46,283
Well, he explained that
what he did wasn't so wrong.
336
00:18:46,316 --> 00:18:48,250
I mean, men are human
337
00:18:48,283 --> 00:18:52,466
and he had an itch,
he had to scratch it.
338
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,250
That is such a crock!
339
00:18:55,283 --> 00:18:56,466
Let me get in there.
340
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,000
What the hell do you think
you're doing to this woman?!
341
00:18:59,330 --> 00:19:00,433
You should have
your license revoked!
342
00:19:00,466 --> 00:19:03,660
Well, you must be looking
for Dr. Pepkin.
343
00:19:04,330 --> 00:19:05,366
No. I'm looking for a doctor
344
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,116
who takes advantage of poor,
vulnerable patients.
345
00:19:08,150 --> 00:19:10,150
Yes, that's Pepkin.
346
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:13,483
Stand back, Miss Fine.
I'm gonna teach this genius
of yours a lesson.
347
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:18,100
Mr. Sheffield, why are you
acting so macho, like an
animal?
348
00:19:18,133 --> 00:19:20,183
It's good.
349
00:19:20,216 --> 00:19:23,160
I'm not gonna let him take
advantage of you, Miss Fine.
350
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:25,166
Wait a minute. Does everyone in
your world react in such a way
351
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,160
to someone picking their nose?
352
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,383
You're damn right!
353
00:19:30,483 --> 00:19:33,330
Excuse me a moment.
354
00:19:36,366 --> 00:19:38,200
He picked his nose?
355
00:19:39,316 --> 00:19:42,400
Yeah. What did you think he did?
356
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:45,160
Not that.
357
00:19:48,116 --> 00:19:50,483
Where would you get that from?
358
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:55,450
What? From the same place
I get every other idiotic,
meshuganah
359
00:19:56,283 --> 00:19:58,100
From you!
360
00:19:58,133 --> 00:20:01,300
You're gonna drive me
into a bloody institution,
you know that?
361
00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:05,383
Now, do you see how he yells
at me, makes me feel this big?
362
00:20:05,416 --> 00:20:09,316
Then you wonder why
I elevate him to "husband".
363
00:20:09,350 --> 00:20:11,166
Come on!
364
00:20:12,333 --> 00:20:14,300
You know, can I just say you two
365
00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:18,250
make the most beautiful, most
perfect couple I have ever
seen.
366
00:20:19,416 --> 00:20:22,200
- Who is this guy?
- Oh, he's just--
367
00:20:23,350 --> 00:20:25,200
He happens to be
368
00:20:25,233 --> 00:20:29,250
one of the most well-respected
marriage counselors
in the business.
369
00:20:34,366 --> 00:20:36,416
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]
370
00:20:37,433 --> 00:20:41,100
♪♪ Our love is here to stay ♪♪
371
00:20:41,133 --> 00:20:44,300
♪♪ Not for a year ♪♪
372
00:20:44,333 --> 00:20:46,200
Oh, what a night.
373
00:20:46,233 --> 00:20:48,100
I don't know how I had
the presence of mind
374
00:20:48,133 --> 00:20:50,433
to keep my acceptance speech
down to 30 seconds.
375
00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:53,160
You didn't thank anyone.
376
00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:56,266
Oh, right.
377
00:20:58,366 --> 00:21:01,400
Oh, Niles, thank you
for escorting me.
378
00:21:01,433 --> 00:21:05,660
You know, you're actually
almost charming
379
00:21:05,100 --> 00:21:08,500
when you're not being
a mean, miserable old man.
380
00:21:08,830 --> 00:21:11,183
Funny, I was gonna say
the same about you.
381
00:21:12,233 --> 00:21:16,166
[HEARTY LAUGH]
382
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,100
You know, I'm really glad
383
00:21:18,133 --> 00:21:21,000
that this little fling
between
you and Chandler is over.
384
00:21:21,330 --> 00:21:23,283
- Oh?
- Yes. He was beneath you.
385
00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:25,350
Not anymore.
386
00:21:25,383 --> 00:21:27,466
BOTH: [SNICKERING]
387
00:21:29,133 --> 00:21:30,483
Oh, I almost forgot.
388
00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:34,660
Here is your... check.
389
00:21:37,283 --> 00:21:38,466
This one's on me.
390
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,350
♪♪ Our love is here ♪♪
391
00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:46,660
♪♪ To stay ♪♪
392
00:21:56,166 --> 00:21:58,233
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]