1
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,283
Ah, Happy New Year, Isaac.

2
00:00:10,316 --> 00:00:12,266
Thank you, Mr. Sheffield.

3
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:15,133
Oh, Maxwell, look at the poster
I had made

4
00:00:15,166 --> 00:00:18,283
to convince Margo to do
our show,<i>Marie Antoinette.</i>

5
00:00:18,316 --> 00:00:21,133
Now, listen, when she gets here,
I don't want any screw-ups.

6
00:00:21,166 --> 00:00:23,100
[sniffing]

7
00:00:23,133 --> 00:00:24,150
What are you doing?

8
00:00:24,183 --> 00:00:27,200
I'm sniffing for
Alberto VO5 Top Ramen,

9
00:00:27,233 --> 00:00:29,183
anything that reeks
of Nanny Fine.

10
00:00:29,216 --> 00:00:30,300
[sniffing]

11
00:00:32,150 --> 00:00:34,216
I told you,
she's out of the house.

12
00:00:34,250 --> 00:00:36,500
Okay, okay.

13
00:00:36,830 --> 00:00:39,433
Oh, look, I had them paint on
Margo's trademark mole.

14
00:00:39,466 --> 00:00:42,166
Isn't it amazing
how one bodily imperfection

15
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,150
-can make someone famous?
-Oh!

16
00:00:44,183 --> 00:00:47,830
Then, you should be
known worldwide.

17
00:00:52,333 --> 00:00:56,383
Maxwell, have you noticed
how calm the house is
without Nanny Fine here?

18
00:00:56,416 --> 00:01:00,830
No one to get in the way
or make a scene.

19
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:03,283
[sighs]

20
00:01:03,316 --> 00:01:08,660
No idiotic stunts
just to meet a movie star.

21
00:01:13,283 --> 00:01:15,000
-Ms. Lange, sir.
-[Maxwell] Oh.

22
00:01:19,183 --> 00:01:22,660
-Maxwell.
-Margo.

23
00:01:22,100 --> 00:01:24,233
Uh, you've met my associate,
C.C. Babcock.

24
00:01:24,266 --> 00:01:26,830
[laughing] Oh, yes,
we had lunch at Spago.

25
00:01:26,116 --> 00:01:29,000
I adored her.
Is she here?

26
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,200
-That's me, Margo.
-Oh.

27
00:01:33,233 --> 00:01:35,150
Now, about my co-star.

28
00:01:35,183 --> 00:01:39,150
I was thinking about that
delicious Lopez boy from
<i>Saved by the Bell.</i>

29
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:42,500
[scoffs] What is he, 18?
Next to him, you'll look...

30
00:01:43,133 --> 00:01:44,150
less French.

31
00:01:49,330 --> 00:01:50,433
Maxwell, darling,
do something.

32
00:01:50,466 --> 00:01:53,233
Your gardener
is gawking at me.

33
00:01:53,266 --> 00:01:55,000
Hmm?

34
00:01:57,166 --> 00:02:00,133
Um... um, would you...
would you excuse me
a minute?

35
00:02:00,166 --> 00:02:02,166
Uh, there's a wandering Jew
on the terrace

36
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,333
that needs transplanting.

37
00:02:04,366 --> 00:02:06,330
Come here. Sit over here.

38
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,333
Are you insane?
What are you doing out here?

39
00:02:10,366 --> 00:02:12,483
[indistinct]

40
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:14,116
[Maxwell] Don't you push me.

41
00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:17,433
-Excuse me.
-[Maxwell] Don't you push me.

42
00:02:17,466 --> 00:02:19,366
[C.C.] ...but Margo Lange
is inside.

43
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,330
Of course, I do.

44
00:02:23,216 --> 00:02:25,283
-Oh, hello, Ms. Margo Lange.
-Ms. Fine!

45
00:02:26,166 --> 00:02:27,233
[Fran squeals]

46
00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:38,166
-What are you doing to me?
-I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

47
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,233
-[Margo] Ow!
-Oh, my...

48
00:02:39,266 --> 00:02:41,830
-Stop!
-Oh.

49
00:02:41,116 --> 00:02:42,366
-Oh, my God.
-What are you doing?

50
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,216
Ms. Lange, your famous mole.

51
00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:47,500
-Where is it?
-What?

52
00:02:47,830 --> 00:02:48,450
Here it is.

53
00:02:55,483 --> 00:02:57,316
<i>♪ She was working</i>
<i>In a bridal shop ♪</i>

54
00:02:57,350 --> 00:02:59,000
<i>♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪</i>

55
00:02:59,330 --> 00:03:00,166
<i>♪ Til her boyfriend</i>
<i>Kicked her out ♪</i>

56
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,350
<i>♪ In one of those</i>
<i>Crushing scenes ♪</i>

57
00:03:01,383 --> 00:03:03,300
<i>♪ What was she to do?</i>
<i>Where was she to go? ♪</i>

58
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:06,400
<i>♪ She was out on her fanny ♪</i>

59
00:03:06,433 --> 00:03:08,200
<i>♪ So over the bridge</i>
<i>From Flushing ♪</i>

60
00:03:08,233 --> 00:03:10,160
<i>♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪</i>

61
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:12,500
<i>♪ She was there to sell make-up</i>
<i>But the father saw more ♪</i>

62
00:03:12,830 --> 00:03:13,400
<i>♪ She had style!</i>
<i>She had flair</i>
<i>She was there ♪</i>

63
00:03:13,433 --> 00:03:15,233
<i>♪ That's how she became ♪</i>

64
00:03:15,266 --> 00:03:17,450
<i>♪ The Nanny ♪</i>

65
00:03:17,483 --> 00:03:20,466
<i>♪ Who would have guessed</i>
<i>That the girl we described ♪</i>

66
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,830
<i>♪ Was just exactly</i>
<i>What the doctor prescribed? ♪</i>

67
00:03:23,116 --> 00:03:24,250
<i>♪ Now, the father</i>
<i>Finds her beguiling ♪</i>

68
00:03:24,283 --> 00:03:25,383
<i>♪ Watch out C.C. ♪</i>

69
00:03:25,416 --> 00:03:27,200
<i>♪ And the kids</i>
<i>Are actually smiling ♪</i>

70
00:03:27,233 --> 00:03:28,200
<i>♪ Such joie de vivre ♪</i>

71
00:03:28,233 --> 00:03:29,416
<i>♪ She's the lady in red ♪</i>

72
00:03:29,450 --> 00:03:34,116
<i>♪ When everybody else</i>
<i>Is wearing tan ♪</i>

73
00:03:34,150 --> 00:03:36,150
<i>♪ The flashy girl</i>
<i>From Flushing ♪</i>

74
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:37,350
<i>♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪</i>

75
00:03:44,283 --> 00:03:46,216
[on TV]<i>This is Cindy Adams</i>
<i>from New</i>

76
00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:49,160
<i>and have I got dirt for you.</i>

77
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:53,500
<i>A certain Park Avenue butler</i>
<i>signed a three-million-dollar</i>
<i>book deal</i>

78
00:03:53,830 --> 00:03:55,233
<i>and here's how he did it.</i>

79
00:03:55,266 --> 00:03:57,400
-[Maxwell] Ms. Fine!
-Oh.

80
00:03:57,433 --> 00:04:00,660
[mumbling incoherently]

81
00:04:05,116 --> 00:04:06,250
Would you excuse us, please?

82
00:04:06,283 --> 00:04:09,830
I'd like a word alone
with Ernest.

83
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:12,266
You had to meet her in person.

84
00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:16,660
My telephoto lens
and parabolic dish weren't
good enough for you.

85
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,000
[inhales]

86
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:24,350
I'm not going to yell.

87
00:04:24,383 --> 00:04:27,660
I'm not going to scream.

88
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:31,150
I just want to have
a conversation
like rational, mature adults.

89
00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:33,160
With me?

90
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:38,100
Now... [clears throat]

91
00:04:38,133 --> 00:04:41,330
we both know what
the most important thing

92
00:04:41,660 --> 00:04:43,216
in a relationship is,
don't we?

93
00:04:44,133 --> 00:04:45,250
Forgiveness?

94
00:04:47,133 --> 00:04:49,830
No. Trust!

95
00:04:49,116 --> 00:04:52,000
Trust is the most
important thing!

96
00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:53,433
Do you realize Margo Lange

97
00:04:53,466 --> 00:04:58,266
has one of the most
recognizable faces in the world
because of that mole?

98
00:04:58,300 --> 00:05:00,150
Can you imagine
what would happen

99
00:05:00,183 --> 00:05:01,433
if word got out
it were fake?

100
00:05:01,466 --> 00:05:03,433
Well, excuse me,

101
00:05:03,466 --> 00:05:07,416
but are you implying
that I cannot keep
this thing a secret?

102
00:05:07,450 --> 00:05:09,183
Oh, come on, Ms. Fine.

103
00:05:09,216 --> 00:05:12,830
The only secret
safe with you is your age.

104
00:05:14,433 --> 00:05:18,330
Barry Scheck and a whole drum
of sodium Pentothal

105
00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:19,200
couldn't drag that out.

106
00:05:20,483 --> 00:05:22,166
Well, I find it very hurtful

107
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,366
that you think that
I have nothing better to do

108
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,450
than to pass idle gossip.

109
00:05:26,483 --> 00:05:29,300
Who cares if her
fakakta mole is a fake?

110
00:05:29,333 --> 00:05:30,366
Big deal.

111
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,433
I was just trying to
lighten up the conversation.

112
00:05:35,466 --> 00:05:38,466
I know you tend to
get nervous when you have
to go to the doctors.

113
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,830
I'm not scared
of the examination.

114
00:05:41,116 --> 00:05:43,133
I'm talking about
getting weighed.

115
00:05:46,133 --> 00:05:49,400
Now, did you write down
all the stuff you ate yesterday
like the doctor asked you to?

116
00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:50,433
Let me see.

117
00:06:08,350 --> 00:06:11,660
Well, you did really well.
I'm proud of you.

118
00:06:15,830 --> 00:06:16,660
Mmm...

119
00:06:17,116 --> 00:06:19,330
Hmm. Look at this.

120
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:21,000
Oprah gained back
all the weight.

121
00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:23,166
-[gasps]
-Oh, that poor girl.

122
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,133
Oh. Oh, 1989.

123
00:06:29,316 --> 00:06:32,116
Well, look who's on the cover.

124
00:06:32,150 --> 00:06:33,416
Again with her?

125
00:06:33,450 --> 00:06:36,300
So, Margo Lange's mole is fake.

126
00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:38,500
-Who cares?
-Ma.

127
00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:39,416
Who's going to hear?
Liz Smith?

128
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,483
Meanwhile, I had six moles
taken off my back.

129
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,233
You didn't care.
You didn't even send a card.

130
00:06:52,433 --> 00:06:55,216
Excuse me. Do you mind
if I sit here?

131
00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:57,350
-There's a draft.
-No. Not at all.

132
00:06:57,383 --> 00:07:00,216
Meanwhile, you smell delicious.
What have you got on?

133
00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:02,450
Thank you. It's called Gossip.
Take mine.

134
00:07:02,483 --> 00:07:06,100
That's very nice of you.
Thanks.

135
00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:09,150
Don't get too chummy.
You're in a doctor's office.

136
00:07:09,183 --> 00:07:11,350
You never know
what somebody's got.

137
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:17,166
So tell me, what do you do,
a gorgeous girl like you?

138
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:21,160
-Act, model, what?
-I'm just a housewife.

139
00:07:23,330 --> 00:07:25,416
-Sylvia, Dr. Hirsch
is ready for you.
-Oh, hi.

140
00:07:25,450 --> 00:07:28,160
-Hi, Estelle.
-Hi, Fran.

141
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:31,433
-Are you doing okay?
-It's nice to see you again.

142
00:07:33,133 --> 00:07:36,200
Who is that young lady?
She looks so familiar to me.

143
00:07:36,233 --> 00:07:39,160
You know Maxwell Sheffield,
the Broadway producer?

144
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,216
-Yes.
-That's his nanny.
Can you believe?

145
00:07:41,250 --> 00:07:44,183
Five years
she's working for him,
still hasn't proposed.

146
00:07:44,216 --> 00:07:47,000
Ah, can...
Cancel my appointment.

147
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,330
[dialing]

148
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:52,466
It's Cindy.
Scrap my segment.

149
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,416
I'm reshooting
and I want it on tonight.

150
00:07:55,450 --> 00:07:58,333
Oh, you bet it's big! Ah!

151
00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:06,830
Well, the thing is,
Ma absolutely
has to lose weight,

152
00:08:06,116 --> 00:08:08,250
so we can't keep food
in the house anymore.

153
00:08:08,283 --> 00:08:10,450
Help me scarf back
some of this Godiva.

154
00:08:13,166 --> 00:08:15,160
Fran, you can't control
what your mother eats.

155
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:16,350
She doesn't live here.

156
00:08:16,383 --> 00:08:18,133
When did she move out?

157
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:25,166
Mmm. I'm so glad
that I don't have
a weight problem.

158
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,160
I can eat anything I want.

159
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:28,400
Pizza, ice cream.

160
00:08:28,433 --> 00:08:31,200
You know, me too.
Candy, cake.

161
00:08:31,233 --> 00:08:34,830
-Mmm. Must be in our genes.
-Mmm-hmm.

162
00:08:34,116 --> 00:08:38,233
Meanwhile, when Ma was
your ages, she was thinner
than both of you.

163
00:08:42,233 --> 00:08:45,100
Maxwell! Maxwell!

164
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:48,266
The Gossip Channel
is going to plug
our<i>Marie Antoinette</i>

165
00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:50,830
Mazel tov.

166
00:08:50,116 --> 00:08:54,450
Now, Margo is still
willing to do it
despite the incident.

167
00:08:54,483 --> 00:08:57,383
We just have to
keep her real happy.

168
00:08:57,416 --> 00:09:01,450
[man on TV]
<i>In Los Angeles, Rob McCormick</i>
<i>and in New York, Cindy Adams.</i>

169
00:09:01,483 --> 00:09:03,350
Who is that?

170
00:09:03,383 --> 00:09:04,450
-Hmm? Cindy Adams,
the columnist.
<i>-[</i><i>This is Cindy Adams</i>

171
00:09:04,483 --> 00:09:06,150
<i>-from New York...</i>
-I know her.

172
00:09:06,183 --> 00:09:07,166
[shushing]

173
00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:13,500
<i>Big news from</i>
The Great White Way
<i>involving the latest</i>

174
00:09:13,830 --> 00:09:18,200
<i>from too-handsome-for-words</i>
<i>producer, Maxwell Sheffield.</i>

175
00:09:18,233 --> 00:09:20,100
She's the only columnist
I respect.

176
00:09:21,233 --> 00:09:23,483
<i>Starring in his next outing</i>

177
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:29,100
<i>is none other than</i>
<i>the queen of the beauty marks,</i>
<i>Margo Lange.</i>

178
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:32,330
Oh. Oh, now I know
where I know her from.

179
00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:41,830
<i>Well, kiddies,</i>
<i>I've got a little outing</i>
<i>of my own to do.</i>

180
00:09:41,116 --> 00:09:43,216
<i>The mole is fake.</i>

181
00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:49,200
<i>And this comes straight from</i>
<i>Maxwell Sheffield's nanny.</i>

182
00:09:49,233 --> 00:09:51,400
Ms. Fine!

183
00:09:57,216 --> 00:09:58,200
Freeze.

184
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,433
[sighs]

185
00:10:03,166 --> 00:10:05,216
Do you...
Do you hate me?
Is that what it is?

186
00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:07,330
[stammers]
Are you trying to
get back at me

187
00:10:07,660 --> 00:10:09,500
for back-peddling
in our relationship?

188
00:10:09,830 --> 00:10:11,000
-Is that what
this is all about?
-No.

189
00:10:11,330 --> 00:10:14,100
No. No. This is
a personality disorder.

190
00:10:14,133 --> 00:10:15,316
Yeah. It's, uh, you know,

191
00:10:15,350 --> 00:10:18,183
when you watch your mother
fry up your Mr. Potato Head,

192
00:10:18,216 --> 00:10:21,330
it scars you.

193
00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:25,166
You know, you're...
You're my kryptonite,
that's what you are.

194
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,450
You're the only thing
that can hurt me.

195
00:10:26,483 --> 00:10:31,416
Not the critics,
not the actors' union,
not the bloody IRS.

196
00:10:31,450 --> 00:10:34,350
Kryptonite. You mean the stuff
that could hurt Superman...

197
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:36,383
Who the hell cares
what it is?

198
00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:41,433
-[sighs]
-I'm sorry, Mr. Sheffield.

199
00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:44,266
I was just telling Ma
in confidence.

200
00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:47,183
I mean, who knew that
Cindy Adams was the one

201
00:10:47,216 --> 00:10:49,166
that would give me
this perfume?

202
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,150
Gossip by Cindy Adams.

203
00:10:55,183 --> 00:10:58,350
Ms. Fine, you remember
our conversation about trust?

204
00:10:58,383 --> 00:11:00,183
Yeah. Why?

205
00:11:00,216 --> 00:11:03,466
Well, you realize you and I
cannot have a relationship

206
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,200
if I can't trust you.

207
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:09,466
And now, it seems
fairly obvious.

208
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:11,400
I can't.

209
00:11:25,316 --> 00:11:29,116
Meanwhile, I have never seen
Mr. Sheffield so upset.

210
00:11:29,150 --> 00:11:32,500
He was dead serious.
He hates me.

211
00:11:32,830 --> 00:11:33,333
He reviles me.

212
00:11:33,366 --> 00:11:36,183
I wouldn't be surprised
if he never talked to me again.

213
00:11:36,216 --> 00:11:39,216
Oh, this is going to set
the engagement way back.

214
00:11:42,483 --> 00:11:46,283
Has anyone noticed
how I haven't touched the cake?

215
00:11:46,316 --> 00:11:48,400
Yeah, Ma.
You're doing really good.

216
00:11:48,433 --> 00:11:50,383
-I'm so proud of you.
-[Val] Yeah.

217
00:11:50,416 --> 00:11:52,166
-Thank you.
-Meanwhile, Val.

218
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:56,133
Did you taste these
double-chocolate brownies

219
00:11:56,166 --> 00:11:58,166
stuffed with cheesecake
centers?

220
00:12:00,483 --> 00:12:04,500
Please. I'm still working
on this cannoli.

221
00:12:04,830 --> 00:12:06,183
-It's got chips.
-Let me taste.

222
00:12:07,383 --> 00:12:09,166
-Mmm.
-Huh?

223
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,330
Let me have a knife.

224
00:12:11,660 --> 00:12:12,416
Why, Ma? You're not going
to cheat, are you?

225
00:12:12,450 --> 00:12:14,166
For my wrist.

226
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:20,250
You know, Sylvia. My mother
joined the Diet Center

227
00:12:20,283 --> 00:12:24,316
and she has lost 120 pounds.

228
00:12:24,350 --> 00:12:27,383
Another 50 and she can start
sleeping upstairs again.

229
00:12:31,316 --> 00:12:33,150
What are you digging for, Ma?

230
00:12:33,183 --> 00:12:36,333
I'm making sure
I remembered my phone.

231
00:12:36,366 --> 00:12:41,300
Sammy's calling me from Florida
and I don't want to miss him.

232
00:12:50,466 --> 00:12:54,483
Oh, I just can't believe
what I did to poor Margo Lange.

233
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:58,216
There's got to be a way
that I can help Mr. Sheffield
out of this jam.

234
00:12:58,250 --> 00:13:02,660
Well, Fran, why don't you
just go to her
and beg her for mercy?

235
00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:06,250
You know, tell her
what you did to Elton John
and to Elizabeth Taylor.

236
00:13:07,283 --> 00:13:10,000
And to Cher.
And to Bette Midler.

237
00:13:10,330 --> 00:13:11,466
-Lamb Chop.
-See.

238
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:16,433
Well, this... this would pale
by comparison, really.

239
00:13:18,450 --> 00:13:22,450
Well, if no one is going to have
any more of the cake,
I'm going to put it away.

240
00:13:22,483 --> 00:13:24,316
-Yeah, that's good.
-[Val] Mmm-hmm.

241
00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:26,483
Out of sight, out of mind.

242
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,483
Smart. Yeah, Ma.

243
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:30,266
Very smart.

244
00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:34,500
-[thud]
-[Fran] Mmm.

245
00:13:34,830 --> 00:13:36,160
Stop her! Stop her!

246
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:38,116
She's got the cake!
Stop her!

247
00:13:41,366 --> 00:13:45,266
Sometimes, I wonder
where those two nuts came from.

248
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:47,383
[clinking glass]

249
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:51,150
Hello?

250
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,266
[doorbell rings]

251
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:05,330
<i>Magda, ouvrez la porte,</i>
<i>s'il vous plait.</i>

252
00:14:05,660 --> 00:14:06,330
[doorbell continues ringing]

253
00:14:06,660 --> 00:14:09,300
<i>Magda! La porte!</i>

254
00:14:09,333 --> 00:14:13,183
-[doorbell rings again]
-Magda, the dog walker's back!

255
00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:20,416
Good boy, good boy.
Bad boy, bad boy!

256
00:14:25,216 --> 00:14:27,660
[panting]

257
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,000
Well, there's good news
and bad news.

258
00:14:29,330 --> 00:14:31,660
Uh, the good news is,
Booboo did his business.

259
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,400
The bad news is,
he did it in there.

260
00:14:34,450 --> 00:14:37,133
You... You assassin!

261
00:14:37,166 --> 00:14:40,233
Oh, Ms. Lange,
I don't blame you
for being angry at me.

262
00:14:40,266 --> 00:14:42,433
Where's that .45 automatic
Chuck Heston gave me?

263
00:14:46,150 --> 00:14:48,283
Please. If you'll just give me
a minute of your time.

264
00:14:48,316 --> 00:14:50,216
To what? Finish me off?

265
00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:54,216
Okay. Fake, fake, fake,
fake, fake, fake.

266
00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:56,000
Now, get out.

267
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,300
-Ooh. Fake?
-Real.

268
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:02,000
Oh. That's what fake-fake
will get you.

269
00:15:04,116 --> 00:15:06,250
Oh, Ms. Lange, please.
This is all my fault.

270
00:15:06,283 --> 00:15:09,100
Don't take it out
on Mr. Sheffield
and quit his play.

271
00:15:09,133 --> 00:15:13,160
Do you honestly think
I'm going to show my face
on a Broadway stage?

272
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,300
I won't even leave
this apartment.

273
00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:19,133
Oh, so, what are you gonna do?
Live in exile?

274
00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:21,216
Let the sun shine in.

275
00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:23,350
This is yesterday's news.

276
00:15:23,383 --> 00:15:26,160
Nobody cares about that.

277
00:15:32,150 --> 00:15:33,250
Anyhoo...

278
00:15:35,150 --> 00:15:37,416
You know,
I have this great idea

279
00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:41,830
that would just turn
this whole negative
into a positive.

280
00:15:41,116 --> 00:15:43,316
Oh, please,
please, Ms. Lange.

281
00:15:43,350 --> 00:15:47,160
If you'll just hear me out,
I will do anything.

282
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:49,283
Fine.
Clean up after the puppy.

283
00:16:02,330 --> 00:16:05,150
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
do I have exciting
news for you.

284
00:16:05,183 --> 00:16:07,416
I know. I know.
I just got off the phone
with Margo.

285
00:16:07,450 --> 00:16:09,166
She's back in my show.

286
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,466
Now, how on earth
did you do it?

287
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,183
Oh, well,
Margo swore me to secrecy.

288
00:16:13,216 --> 00:16:15,250
You know,
one slip of the tongue
can ruin it.

289
00:16:15,283 --> 00:16:17,383
I cannot speak to
a living soul about it.

290
00:16:17,416 --> 00:16:20,216
Well, wait, wait, are you...
Are you telling me
you don't trust me?

291
00:16:20,250 --> 00:16:22,100
I thought we had
a relationship.

292
00:16:22,133 --> 00:16:25,100
Oh, now, wait a minute.
Let me get this straight.

293
00:16:25,133 --> 00:16:29,383
We've got a relationship,
but only when it's
convenient for you?

294
00:16:33,183 --> 00:16:34,166
I can live with that.

295
00:16:36,383 --> 00:16:38,333
Let me tell you. Here it is.

296
00:16:38,366 --> 00:16:42,383
We are going to market
artificial Margo Lange
beauty marks

297
00:16:42,416 --> 00:16:44,250
and sell it on the Internet.

298
00:16:46,660 --> 00:16:47,350
Oh, come on, come on.
You can tell me.

299
00:16:47,383 --> 00:16:50,116
That's it.

300
00:16:50,150 --> 00:16:52,100
And I thought of it
all by myself.

301
00:16:52,133 --> 00:16:55,133
-That I believe.
-Stop it.

302
00:17:01,830 --> 00:17:04,400
Look at you with your big head,
sitting around drooling.

303
00:17:04,433 --> 00:17:07,160
Put a toupee on you,
you could be my father.

304
00:17:10,483 --> 00:17:13,200
You know, Margo,
I don't like kids
any more than you do,

305
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:14,366
but it's history.

306
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,830
Marie and Louis
had two children.

307
00:17:17,116 --> 00:17:20,300
We can't just get rid of them.

308
00:17:20,333 --> 00:17:23,500
What about a plague?
Weren't there plagues
back then?

309
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:26,233
Ooh.

310
00:17:26,266 --> 00:17:30,250
Hey, partner. I've got
some great marketing ideas
to run by ya.

311
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:33,466
Oh, marketing ideas?
Didn't you read this morning's
<i>Wall Street Journal?</i>

312
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:38,830
No, but how funny
was "The Wizard of Id"
this morning?

313
00:17:40,116 --> 00:17:42,450
My dear, Coty came out
with a fake beauty mark.

314
00:17:42,483 --> 00:17:45,500
Someone stole our idea.

315
00:17:45,830 --> 00:17:46,300
Oh, no.

316
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:49,350
You mean there's a mole
in our mole organization?

317
00:17:50,450 --> 00:17:52,466
Those are the breaks, darling.

318
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,233
So you mean, that's it?

319
00:17:55,266 --> 00:17:58,400
All our hopes and dreams
just went down the drain?

320
00:17:58,433 --> 00:17:59,483
Well, just yours.

321
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,216
I'm up for the role
of Succubus Queen

322
00:18:02,250 --> 00:18:04,466
on<i>Xena: Warrior Princess.</i>

323
00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:16,150
-Uh, Niles.
-Mmm-hmm.

324
00:18:16,183 --> 00:18:17,183
Where's Ms. Fine?

325
00:18:17,216 --> 00:18:19,133
She hasn't been
out of her room all day.

326
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:20,433
Poor thing's been
going out of her mind,

327
00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:23,350
trying to decide who blabbed
and sabotaged her dream.

328
00:18:23,383 --> 00:18:25,100
-What's that? For whom?
-Soup. Ms. Fine.

329
00:18:25,133 --> 00:18:26,133
-Where did you get it?
-I made it.

330
00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:27,250
You blabbed, didn't you?

331
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:32,000
Oh, Niles, I was...

332
00:18:32,330 --> 00:18:34,233
I was at the Friars Club
with Mel Brooks
and Carl Reiner.

333
00:18:34,266 --> 00:18:36,000
They're so bloody funny.

334
00:18:36,330 --> 00:18:38,830
I was desperate
for an amusing anecdote.

335
00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:40,133
Hmm. So you're sitting
with the men

336
00:18:40,166 --> 00:18:42,433
who wrote the classic
<i>2000 Year Old Man</i>

337
00:18:42,466 --> 00:18:47,100
and you tried to wow them
with the mole story.

338
00:18:47,133 --> 00:18:50,500
Oh, all right, all right.
Just drop it,
would you, Niles?

339
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:53,133
What am I going to do about it?
This was her dream, Niles.

340
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,200
She was so excited about
this cosmetics business

341
00:18:55,233 --> 00:18:59,500
and I went and ruined
the whole thing
by opening my big mouth.

342
00:18:59,830 --> 00:19:01,233
Oh, there's no way
I can make this up to her.

343
00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:04,133
Well, you could propose.

344
00:19:04,166 --> 00:19:06,416
Oh, would you
get serious, Niles?

345
00:19:06,450 --> 00:19:08,266
Just get off that track,
would you?

346
00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:09,400
And finally,
once in your life,

347
00:19:09,433 --> 00:19:11,216
come up with something
I could actually use.

348
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:12,283
[Niles] Hmm.

349
00:19:12,316 --> 00:19:16,150
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
I'm so miserable.

350
00:19:16,183 --> 00:19:18,830
I keep trying to think.

351
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:22,500
Who? Who would do this to me?

352
00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:24,366
-Marry me?
-It was you?

353
00:19:30,483 --> 00:19:35,133
You blabbed and you think
that by proposing,
it's going to make up for it?

354
00:19:36,366 --> 00:19:38,333
Well, you thought right, baby.

355
00:19:43,150 --> 00:19:46,200
-Oh, Niles,
wait till you hear.
-I heard.

356
00:19:50,466 --> 00:19:53,316
-Oh, talk about fate.
-[chuckles]

357
00:19:53,350 --> 00:19:57,183
I mean, if I hadn't washed off
Margo Lange's mole,

358
00:19:57,216 --> 00:19:59,500
we never would have
gone into business together,

359
00:19:59,830 --> 00:20:01,183
Mr. Sheffield never
would have blabbed
and he never would have...

360
00:20:01,216 --> 00:20:04,366
-He never would have...
-What?

361
00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:08,466
Oh, Niles.

362
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,300
Who am I kidding here?

363
00:20:11,333 --> 00:20:15,333
I don't want a proposal
from a man out of guilt.

364
00:20:15,366 --> 00:20:18,483
Oh, God, 12 generations of
Fine women just rolled over.

365
00:20:23,116 --> 00:20:27,233
Oh, but that's no way for us
to start our lives together.

366
00:20:27,266 --> 00:20:30,166
But I don't understand.
Isn't this what
you've been working for?

367
00:20:31,283 --> 00:20:34,250
It is, isn't it?

368
00:20:34,283 --> 00:20:37,330
Oh, but I want him
to ask me because

369
00:20:37,660 --> 00:20:39,366
he can't imagine
his life without me.

370
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,216
'Cause he really means it.

371
00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:46,416
I kind of think I...
deserve that.

372
00:20:46,450 --> 00:20:49,433
So, you're actually going
to let him out of it?

373
00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:54,200
-Yeah, I am.
-Oh. [chuckles]

374
00:20:54,233 --> 00:20:56,400
Oh, boy. Have I come
a long way, huh?

375
00:20:56,433 --> 00:20:57,416
[both chuckle]

376
00:20:58,383 --> 00:21:00,133
There you are.

377
00:21:00,166 --> 00:21:03,150
Come on, Niles,
why don't you crack open
a bottle of champagne?

378
00:21:03,183 --> 00:21:05,160
Let's... let's celebrate.

379
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:09,200
Hmm? Oh, you mean
that proposal out there?

380
00:21:09,233 --> 00:21:12,300
I didn't take that seriously.

381
00:21:12,333 --> 00:21:14,250
I just wanted
to see you sweat.

382
00:21:14,283 --> 00:21:17,450
Wh... What?

383
00:21:17,483 --> 00:21:20,660
You know,
you should have seen

384
00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:22,433
the look on your face
when I said yes.

385
00:21:24,466 --> 00:21:29,200
It's just about as good as
the look on Ma's face
when I tell her I said no.

386
00:21:35,483 --> 00:21:38,383
Uh, why don't we just forget
the whole thing
ever happened, huh?

387
00:21:38,416 --> 00:21:39,400
[Maxwell] Mmm.

388
00:21:41,450 --> 00:21:45,116
Well, once again, you managed
to get yourself out of it.

389
00:21:45,483 --> 00:21:47,200
Yes.

390
00:21:47,233 --> 00:21:50,266
Only this time,
I'm not quite sure
I really wanted to.

391
00:22:01,100 --> 00:22:05,416
You're doing so good
with your diet.

392
00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:07,466
Yeah, Sylvia. I gotta say,
I'm impressed.

393
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,400
Thank you. [chuckles]

394
00:22:20,433 --> 00:22:22,416
[theme music playing]

395
00:22:38,383 --> 00:22:39,416
[theme music ends]