1
00:00:03,383 --> 00:00:05,450
Ah, good afternoon, Ms. Fine.

2
00:00:05,483 --> 00:00:08,283
Good afternoon, Mr. Sheffield.

3
00:00:08,316 --> 00:00:11,266
You know, the kids
are at school.

4
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:12,466
Niles is shopping.

5
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,116
We could do it.

6
00:00:15,150 --> 00:00:17,000
[slears throat] All right.

7
00:00:18,660 --> 00:00:19,333
Hi, Fran.

8
00:00:23,250 --> 00:00:25,400
Hi, Max.

9
00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:30,383
You look beautiful, Fran.

10
00:00:30,416 --> 00:00:35,333
Oh! Over 40 and you can say
it again so quick.

11
00:00:37,233 --> 00:00:38,283
I'm home.

12
00:00:38,316 --> 00:00:41,500
Oh. Eyelash, right there.
I got it,

13
00:00:41,830 --> 00:00:42,160
-Ms. Fine.
-Thanks. Thanks.

14
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,133
Good cover there, uh, "Max."

15
00:00:44,166 --> 00:00:46,383
Who told you about
the first-name thing?

16
00:00:46,416 --> 00:00:48,200
The guy that owns
the fruit stand.

17
00:00:48,233 --> 00:00:50,100
How the hell does he know?

18
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,483
I'm making ambrosia tonight.

19
00:00:54,433 --> 00:00:56,233
-Fran, guess what.
-What?

20
00:00:56,266 --> 00:00:58,300
My friend, Billy invited me
to spend term break

21
00:00:58,333 --> 00:01:00,266
with him and his family
in the Middle East.

22
00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:01,216
-Oh.
-Oh,

23
00:01:01,250 --> 00:01:03,330
that is so exciting, sweetheart.

24
00:01:03,660 --> 00:01:04,483
You know, his father is royalty.

25
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:07,116
Yeah, he's the Sultan
of Koorestan.

26
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:10,830
Wow! Gee, I wonder
if he knows my cousin, Barry,

27
00:01:10,116 --> 00:01:11,350
the waterbed king.

28
00:01:13,266 --> 00:01:14,266
So can I go, Daddy?

29
00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:16,000
Maggie and Brighton
are going away.

30
00:01:16,330 --> 00:01:19,500
Oh, sweetheart. As much as
I'd like you to go to Koorestan,

31
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,500
it's very, very far away.

32
00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:24,233
Yeah, honey. We'll have
a good time here.

33
00:01:24,266 --> 00:01:25,416
The house will be empty.

34
00:01:25,450 --> 00:01:28,450
It'll just be your father
and me and...

35
00:01:28,483 --> 00:01:30,000
You know, I don't think Niles

36
00:01:30,330 --> 00:01:32,233
has ever been
to the Middle East.

37
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:34,316
No, not Niles. I need him here.

38
00:01:34,350 --> 00:01:36,416
I have a mountain of work to do.

39
00:01:36,450 --> 00:01:39,100
I... I tell you what, Ms. Fine.
Why don't you take her?

40
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:42,000
[laughs awkwardly]
Excuse me, honey.

41
00:01:42,330 --> 00:01:44,660
You know,

42
00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:47,830
I think this little girl will be
very disappointed

43
00:01:47,116 --> 00:01:49,333
if she doesn't go with Niles.

44
00:01:49,366 --> 00:01:51,200
Grace has never been
anywhere with Niles.

45
00:01:51,233 --> 00:01:53,216
This little girl.

46
00:01:55,233 --> 00:01:57,166
Honey, honey, honey.
Go upstairs.

47
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,216
-Let me talk to your father.
-Okay.

48
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:03,233
Well, I'm obviously being
a little too subtle here.

49
00:02:03,266 --> 00:02:05,250
But with the kids
out of the house,

50
00:02:05,283 --> 00:02:07,316
we could call each other
Fran and Max

51
00:02:07,350 --> 00:02:09,266
in every room of the house.

52
00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:11,166
Look at that.

53
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:15,233
Tempting as that sounds, Fran.
This is a very busy time for me.

54
00:02:15,266 --> 00:02:17,350
I have investors to entertain

55
00:02:17,383 --> 00:02:19,116
and I'd like
to serve them something

56
00:02:19,150 --> 00:02:22,100
other than Gino's Pizza Rolls.

57
00:02:22,133 --> 00:02:26,000
One brunch
and I'm branded for life.

58
00:02:26,330 --> 00:02:29,183
I don't understand why you don't
wanna spend time with me.

59
00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:32,100
Wait, who said I don't wanna
spend time with you?

60
00:02:32,133 --> 00:02:34,266
-I have to earn a living.
-Ah!

61
00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:36,350
That's right. I have expenses.

62
00:02:36,383 --> 00:02:39,450
You know, this year alone,
my food bill doubled.

63
00:02:39,483 --> 00:02:43,000
Now, please let's not bring
my mother into this.

64
00:02:44,233 --> 00:02:45,400
Oh, God.

65
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:48,300
I guess I'm going back
to the desert.

66
00:02:48,333 --> 00:02:50,400
But I might not return
that quickly.

67
00:02:50,433 --> 00:02:54,830
Our people tend
to dilly-dally there.

68
00:02:55,660 --> 00:02:57,660
-Fran, come on.
-Ms. Fine!

69
00:03:00,660 --> 00:03:02,183
You and Nanny Fine
are having a big, old fight

70
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:04,266
about shipping her off
to the Middle East.

71
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:07,160
-Who told you that?
-The garbage man.

72
00:03:12,483 --> 00:03:14,283
<i>♪ She was working</i>
<i>in a bridal shop ♪</i>

73
00:03:14,316 --> 00:03:15,466
<i>♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪</i>

74
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,133
<i>♪ Til her boyfriend</i>
<i>kicked her out ♪</i>

75
00:03:17,166 --> 00:03:18,450
<i>♪ In one of those</i>
<i>crushing scenes ♪</i>

76
00:03:18,483 --> 00:03:20,283
<i>♪ What was she to do?</i>
<i>Where was she to go? ♪</i>

77
00:03:20,316 --> 00:03:23,383
<i>♪ She was out on her fanny ♪</i>

78
00:03:23,416 --> 00:03:25,660
<i>♪ So over the bridge</i>
<i>from Flushing ♪</i>

79
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:26,383
<i>♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪</i>

80
00:03:26,416 --> 00:03:29,330
<i>♪ She was there to sell makeup</i>
<i>but the father saw more ♪</i>

81
00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:31,660
<i>♪ She had style, she had flair</i>
<i>she was there ♪</i>

82
00:03:31,100 --> 00:03:32,183
<i>♪ That's how she became ♪</i>

83
00:03:32,216 --> 00:03:34,450
<i>♪ The Nanny ♪</i>

84
00:03:34,483 --> 00:03:37,450
<i>♪ Who would have guessed</i>
<i>that the girl we described ♪</i>

85
00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:40,660
<i>♪ Was just exactly</i>
<i>what the doctor prescribed? ♪</i>

86
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,216
<i>♪ Now, the father</i>
<i>finds her beguiling ♪</i>

87
00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,350
<i>♪ Watch out C.C. ♪</i>

88
00:03:42,383 --> 00:03:44,500
<i>♪ And the kids</i>
<i>are actually smiling ♪</i>

89
00:03:44,830 --> 00:03:45,200
<i>♪ Such joie de vivre ♪</i>

90
00:03:45,233 --> 00:03:46,400
<i>♪ She's the lady in red ♪</i>

91
00:03:46,433 --> 00:03:51,660
<i>♪ When everybody else</i>
<i>is wearing tan ♪</i>

92
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,116
<i>♪ The flashy girl</i>
<i>from Flushing ♪</i>

93
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,366
<i>♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪</i>

94
00:04:02,216 --> 00:04:03,383
I know, honey.

95
00:04:03,416 --> 00:04:05,316
It's just that I keep running
this fight that I had

96
00:04:05,350 --> 00:04:07,383
with your father over
and over in my mind.

97
00:04:07,416 --> 00:04:09,400
I don't know
how I'm gonna have a good time.

98
00:04:09,433 --> 00:04:12,116
Wow! Is this place drop-dead
gorgeous?

99
00:04:14,116 --> 00:04:16,366
This is even more beautiful
than the Taj Mahal.

100
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:19,660
Fran, when were you in India?

101
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:21,200
Trump opened
another one in India?

102
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,250
Now, this would be your room

103
00:04:27,283 --> 00:04:30,183
and Ms. Grace's room is
connected through that door.

104
00:04:30,216 --> 00:04:34,383
Wow, you guys really went
all out at the Bombay Company.

105
00:04:36,316 --> 00:04:39,350
Now, His Majesty, the Sultan
is expecting you for dinner.

106
00:04:39,383 --> 00:04:41,830
-Okay.
-And he requests

107
00:04:41,116 --> 00:04:43,830
that you both wear
traditional garb

108
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,300
which you'll find
in your closets.

109
00:04:47,450 --> 00:04:50,400
Oh, boy.

110
00:04:50,433 --> 00:04:53,150
Gee, do you have anything
that breathes a little bit?

111
00:04:53,183 --> 00:04:55,160
Because I know that
it's a dry heat,

112
00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:56,350
but at 117 degrees,

113
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,316
any way you look at it,
it's a<i>schvitz</i>

114
00:05:05,366 --> 00:05:07,660
[exclaims]

115
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:12,100
Gracie, if I die tomorrow...

116
00:05:12,133 --> 00:05:13,250
Toi, toi, toi.

117
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:18,166
I can honestly say
I was treated like royalty.

118
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:22,400
We napped in satin sheets,
we bathed in lilac-scented water

119
00:05:22,433 --> 00:05:24,266
and even in Arabic,

120
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:27,150
"Alf" transcends
the language barrier.

121
00:05:28,466 --> 00:05:30,450
Gracie! I'm so happy to see you.

122
00:05:30,483 --> 00:05:31,450
Hi, Billy.

123
00:05:31,483 --> 00:05:33,830
Smile.

124
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,116
Fran, this is my friend, Billy.

125
00:05:36,150 --> 00:05:39,483
Oh, hi. My compliments
on your beautiful home.

126
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:41,100
Who designed it?

127
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,366
It was built
during the First Dynasty

128
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,000
by the Sultan Ali.

129
00:05:44,330 --> 00:05:46,330
Oh, wow, do you have his card?

130
00:05:46,660 --> 00:05:47,200
Because my Aunt Ceil is thinking

131
00:05:47,233 --> 00:05:50,400
of adding an island
to her kitchen.

132
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:53,200
Billy, you said you had a camel.
Can we go see it?

133
00:05:53,233 --> 00:05:55,100
Sure. But while you're here.

134
00:05:55,133 --> 00:05:58,366
It's, uh, customary to address
me as Prince Mohammed.

135
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,330
But, Prince Mohammed,

136
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:02,100
your nickname at school
is Goober.

137
00:06:03,383 --> 00:06:06,216
His Highness, the sultan.

138
00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:07,366
King Hassan...

139
00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:18,383
It is a pleasure finally to meet
my son's American guests.

140
00:06:18,416 --> 00:06:20,316
Ms. Sheffield, Ms. Fine.

141
00:06:20,350 --> 00:06:22,383
-Hi.
-Welcome.

142
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:25,300
You know,
you look exactly like...

143
00:06:25,333 --> 00:06:29,133
Like you do on the back
of the Koorestan Shekel.

144
00:06:29,166 --> 00:06:30,300
Yes.

145
00:06:30,333 --> 00:06:33,500
Sometimes, I like to make a bet
with someone.

146
00:06:33,830 --> 00:06:35,500
So I can flip it
in the air and shout

147
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,000
"Tails or me!" [laughs]

148
00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:41,383
-Tails or me.
-[laughs] That's a good one.

149
00:06:41,416 --> 00:06:43,830
Can I take a picture of us?

150
00:06:43,116 --> 00:06:45,133
I have it all set
for self-timer.

151
00:06:45,166 --> 00:06:47,283
Come on, everybody.
<i>Smush</i>

152
00:06:48,266 --> 00:06:49,383
Cheese.

153
00:06:49,416 --> 00:06:51,300
-[shutter clicking]
-[Fran chuckles]

154
00:06:51,333 --> 00:06:54,366
I'll make copies for everybody.
It'll be a very nice memento.

155
00:07:00,433 --> 00:07:02,660
[music playing on TV]

156
00:07:06,166 --> 00:07:07,216
[sighs]

157
00:07:11,150 --> 00:07:15,160
Oh! Oh!

158
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:16,830
Master Brighton, just because

159
00:07:16,116 --> 00:07:17,250
your vacation plans
fell through,

160
00:07:17,283 --> 00:07:19,000
you don't have to sit around
like a zombie.

161
00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:21,350
This is the most exciting city
in the world. Go out.

162
00:07:21,383 --> 00:07:24,500
There are parks, museums,
concerts.

163
00:07:24,830 --> 00:07:25,316
Uh-huh, yeah.
Look, can you move?

164
00:07:25,350 --> 00:07:27,183
I can't see
Yasmine Bleeth's butt.

165
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,500
Hello, I was watching that.

166
00:07:32,830 --> 00:07:34,233
Well, now you're watching this.

167
00:07:34,266 --> 00:07:35,300
You watching<i>Clueless?</i>

168
00:07:35,333 --> 00:07:37,366
Wouldn't that be
a little bit redundant?

169
00:07:38,483 --> 00:07:40,216
Well, at least I'm not watching

170
00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:43,660
the "women I'll never get
within 100 miles of" channel.

171
00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:44,483
You know what, shut up!
I'm so sick of this.

172
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,250
All right! That's it!

173
00:07:46,283 --> 00:07:47,416
Everybody up and out,

174
00:07:47,450 --> 00:07:50,183
or I will tell your father
that you...

175
00:07:50,216 --> 00:07:52,160
That you...

176
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:53,400
God, you kids are dull.

177
00:07:54,450 --> 00:07:57,250
Just go out and get
something pierced!

178
00:07:58,466 --> 00:08:00,233
What's gotten into him?

179
00:08:01,416 --> 00:08:02,466
[groans]

180
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,433
Oh, honestly, Niles.

181
00:08:05,466 --> 00:08:09,450
Am I the only one
who does any work around here?

182
00:08:09,483 --> 00:08:11,366
I'm going to let that pass.

183
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:14,330
I know that you are angry

184
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:15,433
because you had a fight
with Ms. Fine.

185
00:08:15,466 --> 00:08:17,166
And she has to understand

186
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,160
that I cannot
just drop everything

187
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,250
to spend time with her.

188
00:08:20,283 --> 00:08:23,250
Right. She has to understand
that men are the providers.

189
00:08:23,283 --> 00:08:25,166
The warriors, the hunters.

190
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,483
Oh, I am killing myself.
I didn't get tulips.

191
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:33,466
-Oh, why can't a woman
be more like a man?
-Hmm.

192
00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:38,266
Well, there's your prototype.

193
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,450
Oh, Your Highness, this has been
an incredible five days.

194
00:08:50,483 --> 00:08:54,500
Thank you so much
for inviting me to this party.

195
00:08:54,830 --> 00:08:56,500
-No.
-[applause]

196
00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:58,200
You know, Fran,
I did not even think

197
00:08:58,233 --> 00:09:00,300
I would have a chance
to dance with you.

198
00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:02,350
When Hosni Mubarak
gets a few drinks in him,

199
00:09:02,383 --> 00:09:04,483
he becomes quite the chatterbox.

200
00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:10,216
Oh, here.

201
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:13,160
Oh, thank you.

202
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:15,333
Gee, you know, I love your pin.
It's so gorgeous.

203
00:09:15,366 --> 00:09:18,500
Well. Then it is yours.

204
00:09:18,830 --> 00:09:20,383
Oh, no. No, I couldn't.

205
00:09:20,416 --> 00:09:22,150
Oh, but you must.

206
00:09:22,183 --> 00:09:24,500
It is customary in our country

207
00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:26,300
when a guest admires
a possession,

208
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:30,133
-she must have it.
-Oh, did I say "pin"?

209
00:09:30,166 --> 00:09:34,400
I meant "palace."
[laughs]

210
00:09:34,433 --> 00:09:36,233
No, you know,
it's very beautiful,

211
00:09:36,266 --> 00:09:39,400
but it's really more my mother.
[chuckles]

212
00:09:39,433 --> 00:09:42,483
Then I think I should
love your mother.

213
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,400
Uh-oh...
Now, she's yours.

214
00:09:45,433 --> 00:09:48,233
-Oh. [laughs]
-[laughs]

215
00:09:49,366 --> 00:09:52,400
Oh, I'll be honest with you,
Your Highness.

216
00:09:52,433 --> 00:09:54,316
I really didn't wanna come here
at first,

217
00:09:54,350 --> 00:09:57,333
but I'm having a wonderful time.

218
00:09:57,366 --> 00:09:59,150
Are you not homesick?

219
00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:00,316
I was a little homesick,

220
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:03,466
but then I went downtown
and I found a Golden Arches.

221
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,216
I'll tell you,
they'd make a mint selling

222
00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:10,100
that McShawarma
back in the States.

223
00:10:13,216 --> 00:10:14,400
Thank you.

224
00:10:14,433 --> 00:10:16,300
-Oh, Fran.
-Yes?

225
00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:20,330
I have enjoyed
your company immensely.

226
00:10:20,660 --> 00:10:22,450
And my son, he...
he adores you.

227
00:10:22,483 --> 00:10:26,166
Oh, he is such a sweet boy.

228
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,400
I'll tell you, everybody
has been so nice.

229
00:10:28,433 --> 00:10:30,366
I'm gonna miss this place.

230
00:10:34,283 --> 00:10:36,150
Then why don't you stay?

231
00:10:40,150 --> 00:10:44,433
Well, you know, I...
I would,

232
00:10:44,466 --> 00:10:46,150
but I'm on a restricted ticket

233
00:10:46,183 --> 00:10:49,433
and that would mean
another 72.50 if I...

234
00:10:49,466 --> 00:10:52,483
No. No, no, no.

235
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:56,133
Fran, I mean why don't you stay
and live with us,

236
00:10:56,166 --> 00:10:59,166
here in the palace forever?

237
00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:01,433
Oh, forever?

238
00:11:01,466 --> 00:11:04,466
Oh, um, oh, Your Highness, um...

239
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,383
Well, that would mean
that I wouldn't be home in time

240
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,366
for the last episode
of<i>Seinfeld.</i>

241
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,383
Oh, I'll get it.

242
00:11:19,416 --> 00:11:22,433
Hello, Sheffield residence.

243
00:11:22,466 --> 00:11:24,366
Ma, I gotta talk to you.

244
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,100
[chuckles]
How did you know I was here?

245
00:11:27,133 --> 00:11:29,500
I got calls from Brighton,
Maggie,

246
00:11:29,830 --> 00:11:31,233
Niles and Roger Clinton
next door.

247
00:11:31,266 --> 00:11:33,250
He said his pizza
was never delivered.

248
00:11:34,466 --> 00:11:36,316
He should thank me.

249
00:11:36,350 --> 00:11:40,333
Chunky runs in that family.

250
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:43,233
Ma, I gotta tell you something
you're not gonna believe.

251
00:11:43,266 --> 00:11:45,383
I think I just got
a marriage proposal.

252
00:11:45,416 --> 00:11:49,500
What? You live with
a gorgeous millionaire

253
00:11:49,830 --> 00:11:52,660
who is this close
to a son to me.

254
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:54,160
Who is this<i>yutz</i>

255
00:11:55,166 --> 00:11:57,333
The king of this country.

256
00:11:57,366 --> 00:11:58,433
Is he tall?

257
00:11:59,433 --> 00:12:01,660
Ma!

258
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,200
Six-one-ish.

259
00:12:04,233 --> 00:12:07,450
The point is,
I'm in love with Mr. Sheffield.

260
00:12:07,483 --> 00:12:10,830
Has he mentioned me?
Does he miss me?

261
00:12:10,116 --> 00:12:12,300
I have not seen him all week.

262
00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:14,133
If I didn't know better,

263
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:16,283
I would think
it was intentional.

264
00:12:22,466 --> 00:12:25,383
-[knock on door]
-Oh, Ma, I gotta go.

265
00:12:25,416 --> 00:12:27,316
I think
that's my lady-in-waiting

266
00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:29,133
bringing me my Diet Pepsi.

267
00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:30,200
Bye. [kisses]

268
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,366
Coming!

269
00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:38,133
Oh, Your Highness.

270
00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:40,283
[stutters]
What are you doing here?

271
00:12:40,316 --> 00:12:44,133
I sent a message for you
to meet me on the veranda.

272
00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:47,300
Oh, you meant my veranda.
Because you know, there's like

273
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:49,250
200 verandas
sticking out of this place.

274
00:12:49,283 --> 00:12:51,183
You'll have to be more specific.

275
00:12:51,216 --> 00:12:54,333
If this is awkward for you,
I can leave.

276
00:12:54,366 --> 00:12:56,350
Oh, no, no, you might
as well stay.

277
00:12:56,383 --> 00:12:59,350
I mean, you walked the two miles
down the corridor to get here.

278
00:12:59,383 --> 00:13:00,416
Come in.

279
00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:02,483
I have come for my answer.

280
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,000
Will you stay?

281
00:13:05,330 --> 00:13:07,266
You know, I am really,
very flattered,

282
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:10,183
but we hardly know each other.

283
00:13:10,216 --> 00:13:13,333
But I know you're beautiful,

284
00:13:13,366 --> 00:13:14,466
intelligent,

285
00:13:16,330 --> 00:13:17,283
charming.

286
00:13:17,316 --> 00:13:20,830
And I know you're a king.

287
00:13:20,116 --> 00:13:21,316
All right, we bonded.

288
00:13:23,383 --> 00:13:25,500
The thing is, um,

289
00:13:25,830 --> 00:13:28,183
I'm really sort of involved
with Mr. Sheffield.

290
00:13:28,216 --> 00:13:30,660
I mean, Maxwell.

291
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,216
We are on a first-name
basis, you know.

292
00:13:32,250 --> 00:13:33,400
It's just we don't say it

293
00:13:33,433 --> 00:13:35,283
in front of other people
is the thing.

294
00:13:35,316 --> 00:13:37,250
But, we've only been together
for five years.

295
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:40,266
We don't wanna rush
these things.

296
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:42,160
Does that sound
as pathetic to you

297
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:43,266
as it did to me?

298
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:46,830
Ah, the Englishman.

299
00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:50,150
What can this man possibly
offer you that I cannot?

300
00:13:50,183 --> 00:13:53,283
You know,
you're offering me everything

301
00:13:53,316 --> 00:13:56,160
that I have ever dreamed of.

302
00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:58,366
But I... I can't stay. I...

303
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,250
I must say no.

304
00:14:00,283 --> 00:14:03,450
I should warn you,
I do not give up easily.

305
00:14:03,483 --> 00:14:08,366
I am a man who does not like
the answer "no."

306
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,416
Well, I'm... I'm sure I can't be

307
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:13,200
the first girl
to ever say no to you.

308
00:14:13,233 --> 00:14:17,266
I mean, what are you gonna do,
chop my head off? [laughs]

309
00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:20,250
Kidding.

310
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,500
What's that?

311
00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:30,150
It's my present
for Mr. Sheffield.

312
00:14:30,183 --> 00:14:33,250
-Next week is his birthday.
-Why didn't you remind me?

313
00:14:33,283 --> 00:14:35,233
You are just trying
to make me look bad.

314
00:14:35,266 --> 00:14:39,300
No. That would be
gilding the lily.

315
00:14:39,333 --> 00:14:41,483
Niles, hasn't Ms. Fine
even bothered

316
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:43,483
to call to check up
on the children?

317
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:45,283
I believe
they're all right, sir.

318
00:14:45,316 --> 00:14:47,466
Well, then I guess it's time
to get back to work.

319
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,466
Maxwell, I finished our work
so we'd have some free time.

320
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,350
Isn't she a good girl?

321
00:14:52,383 --> 00:14:55,330
But I can also be bad.

322
00:14:56,433 --> 00:14:59,300
No, sir. No postcards
from Ms. Fine, either.

323
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,400
Oh, Niles, what have I done?

324
00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:04,250
I mean, what was she asking for
after all? Hmm?

325
00:15:04,283 --> 00:15:07,316
Just to spend
a little more time with me?

326
00:15:07,350 --> 00:15:09,500
I guess I'll just admit
I was wrong

327
00:15:09,830 --> 00:15:10,233
and ask her forgiveness.

328
00:15:10,266 --> 00:15:12,400
No. That would be
the worst thing you could do.

329
00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:15,416
It's weak. You wanna get to her?

330
00:15:15,450 --> 00:15:17,483
Make believe you're
with another woman.

331
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:22,300
Uh...No, C.C., I'm gonna go
upstairs and call her right now.

332
00:15:22,333 --> 00:15:24,383
Wait! Wait! I have
a surprise for you.

333
00:15:24,416 --> 00:15:27,660
Happy birthday!

334
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:30,330
I know it's a week early,
but I thought,

335
00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:32,500
you know, you could use it now.

336
00:15:32,830 --> 00:15:35,216
Oh, an airline ticket
to Koorestan.

337
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:42,500
C.C., you are
a hopeless romantic. Mwah.

338
00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:44,300
Niles, pack my bags!

339
00:15:47,450 --> 00:15:51,233
I guess you're not the only one
who can be bad.

340
00:15:58,216 --> 00:16:00,830
But, Fran,
I don't wanna go home.

341
00:16:00,116 --> 00:16:01,433
I'm having a blast.

342
00:16:01,466 --> 00:16:03,660
And besides, Billy and I

343
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:05,350
are even going
for a camel ride later.

344
00:16:05,383 --> 00:16:08,483
Honey, I got an Aunt Gert
at home with a hump.

345
00:16:10,383 --> 00:16:12,000
You can ride her up and down

346
00:16:12,330 --> 00:16:15,160
Queens Boulevard all you want
once we go home.

347
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:16,350
Go to the armoire,
get all my clothes.

348
00:16:16,383 --> 00:16:18,660
I'm gonna get the tickets.

349
00:16:21,483 --> 00:16:24,366
Where are the tickets
and the passports?

350
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,300
Fran, all your clothes are gone.

351
00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:28,350
All of them?

352
00:16:28,383 --> 00:16:32,233
-Something's not kosher here.
-Honey, nothing's kosher here.

353
00:16:34,150 --> 00:16:35,266
All right, listen.

354
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:37,350
Uh, you know what?
You stay put.

355
00:16:37,383 --> 00:16:41,330
I'm gonna go talk to the sultan
and find out what's going on.

356
00:16:41,660 --> 00:16:42,166
I'll be right back.

357
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:46,350
Oh. Oh. Oh!

358
00:16:47,366 --> 00:16:50,133
Oh. Oh.

359
00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:51,300
Honey.

360
00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:54,216
I guess he really wouldn't
take no for an answer.

361
00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:56,450
Boy, I don't wanna
scare you, sweetie,

362
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:59,200
but I think we're being
held hostage here!

363
00:16:59,233 --> 00:17:01,366
Oh, my God,
this is like that movie,

364
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,000
<i>Not Without My Daughter.</i>

365
00:17:03,330 --> 00:17:04,283
Which, personally,
I think was a poor choice

366
00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:06,333
to show on the plane over here.

367
00:17:16,316 --> 00:17:19,383
Well, that guard might be good
at holding an AK-47,

368
00:17:19,416 --> 00:17:22,283
but he sure isn't good
at holding his Snapple.

369
00:17:24,166 --> 00:17:26,166
Fran, do you really think
this is gonna work?

370
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,300
Sure, sure. Honey,
we'll just be casual.

371
00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:29,383
We look like belly dancers,

372
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:32,100
we'll waltz our way out of here.
Follow me.

373
00:17:39,830 --> 00:17:40,433
[clapping]

374
00:17:43,283 --> 00:17:44,450
Aah.

375
00:18:14,830 --> 00:18:17,330
Ms. Fine, what are you doing?

376
00:18:17,660 --> 00:18:19,283
Uh, staying alive?

377
00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:26,333
Uh... Well, actually,
you know, king,

378
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:27,416
we were looking for you

379
00:18:27,450 --> 00:18:29,433
because we were gonna
go into town,

380
00:18:29,466 --> 00:18:31,660
maybe have a little lunch,

381
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:32,166
go visit the American Embassy.

382
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,250
Would you be up
for something like that?

383
00:18:34,283 --> 00:18:37,116
Ms. Fine. Ms. Fine.
Oh, Ms. Fine! There you are!

384
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:40,166
-Daddy!
-Finally, I found you.

385
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,350
What are you doing?
How did you get in the palace?

386
00:18:42,383 --> 00:18:44,416
[stutters] I just knocked
on the palace door

387
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:46,200
and before I knew it,
everyone's bowing

388
00:18:46,233 --> 00:18:47,433
and scraping
and kissing my ring.

389
00:18:47,466 --> 00:18:49,000
I have to say
this is the friendliest

390
00:18:49,330 --> 00:18:50,250
bloody country in the world.

391
00:18:50,283 --> 00:18:52,400
Yeah. Well, it's a little too
friendly if you ask me. Ow! Ow!

392
00:18:54,366 --> 00:18:56,266
Hello. Maxwell Sheffield.

393
00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:59,660
His Majesty, the Sultan...

394
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:06,366
Hassan.

395
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,433
Oh. Oh!
Oh. [clears throat]

396
00:19:09,466 --> 00:19:11,250
-Well, Your Majesty.
-So...

397
00:19:11,283 --> 00:19:14,330
This is the man you say
I remind you of?

398
00:19:14,660 --> 00:19:15,366
Really?

399
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,116
-I don't see it.
-I don't see it.

400
00:19:18,150 --> 00:19:20,216
This man
was holding us hostage here!

401
00:19:20,250 --> 00:19:23,000
[scoffs]
What do you mean, hostage?

402
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,416
Oh, come now.

403
00:19:24,450 --> 00:19:26,300
I reject you
and suddenly

404
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:29,100
I can't find my tickets
or my passport?

405
00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:31,116
I had them locked up
in the palace safe.

406
00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:33,830
They're worth a great deal
of money on the black market.

407
00:19:33,116 --> 00:19:36,366
Uh-huh. And why was there
a guard outside of our door?

408
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,200
There were some
terrorist threats.

409
00:19:38,233 --> 00:19:40,300
I wanted to ensure your safety.

410
00:19:40,333 --> 00:19:42,483
All right, Mr. Know-It-All.

411
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,366
How do you get the nougat
inside a 3 Musketeers bar?

412
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,500
Actually, it's a three-tiered
process.

413
00:19:49,830 --> 00:19:50,433
First, they turn the nougat
into a strip...

414
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,133
Okay, okay.

415
00:19:54,166 --> 00:19:56,000
I'm telling you, Mr. Sheffield.

416
00:19:56,330 --> 00:19:57,266
This man was forcing me
to stay here

417
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:59,333
to be his wife.
Go on. Tell him.

418
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,116
Wife? Ha.

419
00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:03,400
I wanted you here as my nanny.

420
00:20:05,416 --> 00:20:07,300
Oh, please. Well,

421
00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:11,133
what was all that talk about me
staying here forever, huh?

422
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:13,166
I have four wives.

423
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,416
Goober is not
the end of the line.

424
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,300
Believe me,
I have no romantic interest

425
00:20:19,333 --> 00:20:20,466
in you whatsoever.

426
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,166
You are free to leave
at any time.

427
00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:26,316
And now would be good.

428
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:27,366
[claps]

429
00:20:29,166 --> 00:20:31,383
Well, I better go say goodbye
to Billy

430
00:20:31,416 --> 00:20:33,483
while I'm still in this outfit.

431
00:20:35,116 --> 00:20:37,233
Mr. Sheffield, I know
that I'm not crazy.

432
00:20:37,266 --> 00:20:39,316
That king was coming onto me.

433
00:20:39,350 --> 00:20:41,400
Well, of course he was,
Ms. Fine.

434
00:20:41,433 --> 00:20:43,000
Of course he was.

435
00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:45,200
Anyone could see
he was smitten with you.

436
00:20:45,233 --> 00:20:48,133
-Wasn't he?
-Of course, he was.

437
00:20:48,166 --> 00:20:49,483
He's a man.

438
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:51,400
And unfortunately, some men

439
00:20:51,433 --> 00:20:54,433
are just not very good
at expressing their feelings.

440
00:20:57,433 --> 00:21:01,150
And I could see right through
that sultan.

441
00:21:01,183 --> 00:21:04,233
Oh, yes, you'd start
as his nanny, all right.

442
00:21:04,266 --> 00:21:06,333
You'd start working for him
for a few years

443
00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:09,400
and eventually
you'd be on a first-name basis

444
00:21:09,433 --> 00:21:13,416
and then, one day
he'd come to realize

445
00:21:13,450 --> 00:21:17,000
you were more important to him
than his work.

446
00:21:17,330 --> 00:21:19,166
And then, ha...

447
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,200
Then, he'd tell you
he loves you.

448
00:21:23,133 --> 00:21:26,133
And, uh, when does that happen?

449
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:29,333
Right now.

450
00:21:32,133 --> 00:21:34,150
I love you.

451
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:36,166
What?

452
00:21:36,450 --> 00:21:38,133
Fran.

453
00:21:39,330 --> 00:21:41,160
I love you.

454
00:21:49,450 --> 00:21:52,160
-[ding]
<i>-Ladies and gentlemen,</i>

455
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:54,160
<i>thank you for flying</i>
<i>Koorestan Air.</i>

456
00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:56,330
<i>We know you have a choice</i>
<i>when you fly.</i>

457
00:21:56,660 --> 00:22:00,166
<i>So will the woman in 3-B,</i>
<i>who spent the last 17 hours</i>

458
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:03,500
<i>kvelling that her boss</i>
<i>finally told her he loves her,</i>

459
00:22:03,830 --> 00:22:05,166
<i>please next time</i>
<i>choose Quantas.</i>

460
00:22:10,250 --> 00:22:12,300
[theme music playing]

461
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:29,266
[theme music ends]

462
00:22:36,483 --> 00:22:38,166
Subtitle translation by