1
00:00:03,266 --> 00:00:06,150
Well, in just seven weeks

2
00:00:06,183 --> 00:00:09,383
-this is going to be our room.
-[Val and Sylvia] Oh.

3
00:00:09,416 --> 00:00:11,350
-Our bed.
-Oh.

4
00:00:11,383 --> 00:00:13,150
-Our chair.
-Oh.

5
00:00:13,183 --> 00:00:15,350
-Our lamp.
-Oh.

6
00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:16,433
And my closet.

7
00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,133
-[gasps]
-Oh.

8
00:00:21,166 --> 00:00:24,333
And who says size
isn't important in the bedroom?

9
00:00:24,366 --> 00:00:26,366
Mm-hmm.

10
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:30,433
Val, this is what I picked out
for Maxwell to wear to
my high school reunion party.

11
00:00:30,466 --> 00:00:33,500
It's like having
a great big Ken doll.

12
00:00:33,830 --> 00:00:34,300
Uh-huh.

13
00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:37,116
Only mine
is anatomically correct.

14
00:00:37,150 --> 00:00:39,133
Please, God.

15
00:00:39,166 --> 00:00:40,466
Meanwhile,
this is the first time

16
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,166
you got a reason
to go to your reunion.

17
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,450
You should be more concerned
with what you're gonna wear.

18
00:00:45,483 --> 00:00:50,183
You know, I just thought
I'd wear a simple,
drop-dead gorgeous fiancé

19
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:53,166
-and accessorize it with this.
-[chuckles]

20
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:57,116
You know, I can't wait to see
Naomi Demble's face
when you walk in.

21
00:00:57,150 --> 00:00:59,383
-Oh! She was so mean to us
in high school.
-Twice.

22
00:00:59,416 --> 00:01:02,333
She told everyone
that we were lesbian lovers.

23
00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:04,216
[chuckles]

24
00:01:04,250 --> 00:01:06,133
Yeah, but you know,
it backfired on her

25
00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:08,450
-because we were never
so popular with the boys.
-Yep.

26
00:01:10,383 --> 00:01:12,316
[humming]

27
00:01:16,283 --> 00:01:17,266
-Oh!
-[women scream]

28
00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:20,200
[laughing]

29
00:01:20,233 --> 00:01:23,500
All right, hands up,
anyone who doesn't
belong in here.

30
00:01:23,830 --> 00:01:27,116
Well, I bet you weren't
expecting three gorgeous gals
in your bed.

31
00:01:27,150 --> 00:01:28,483
Yeah.

32
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:32,160
Now, don't go getting
any ideas.

33
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:36,830
Yes, well, I think
this has sufficiently put
that fantasy to rest, Sylvia.

34
00:01:38,233 --> 00:01:40,166
I'm sorry, honey.
I wanted to show the girls

35
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,283
what you're wearing
to my high school reunion
Saturday night.

36
00:01:42,316 --> 00:01:46,216
Uh, Saturday night?
I thought you said
it was next Saturday.

37
00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:50,450
Well, it was next Saturday
when I told you about it
last Saturday.

38
00:01:50,483 --> 00:01:54,300
Ah. Well, this Saturday,
I have to fly to Washington
to talk

39
00:01:54,333 --> 00:01:56,183
at the National Endowment
for the Arts.

40
00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:58,150
Oh, no, you have to come.

41
00:01:58,183 --> 00:02:01,133
The last two reunions,
I carried a man's coat

42
00:02:01,166 --> 00:02:03,283
and said my fiancé was
in the bathroom.

43
00:02:03,316 --> 00:02:05,483
I don't think that they'll go
for it a third time.

44
00:02:07,183 --> 00:02:08,283
What do you want me to do?

45
00:02:08,316 --> 00:02:10,433
Cancel on the President
of the United States?

46
00:02:10,466 --> 00:02:14,166
Well, he's been known to put
pleasure before business.

47
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,383
Why can't you?

48
00:02:19,483 --> 00:02:21,316
<i>♪ She was working</i>
<i>In a bridal shop ♪</i>

49
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:22,416
♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪

50
00:02:22,450 --> 00:02:24,160
♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪

51
00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:25,450
♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪

52
00:02:25,483 --> 00:02:27,333
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪

53
00:02:27,366 --> 00:02:30,483
♪ She was out on her fanny ♪

54
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:32,150
♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪

55
00:02:32,183 --> 00:02:33,400
♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪

56
00:02:33,433 --> 00:02:36,160
♪ She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more ♪

57
00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:38,100
♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there ♪

58
00:02:38,133 --> 00:02:39,133
♪ That's how she became ♪

59
00:02:39,166 --> 00:02:41,433
♪ The Nanny ♪

60
00:02:41,466 --> 00:02:44,466
♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪

61
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,330
♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪

62
00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:48,233
♪ Now, the father
Finds her beguiling ♪

63
00:02:48,266 --> 00:02:49,366
♪ Watch out C.C. ♪

64
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,830
♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪

65
00:02:51,116 --> 00:02:52,183
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

66
00:02:52,216 --> 00:02:53,433
♪ She's the lady in red ♪

67
00:02:53,466 --> 00:02:57,100
♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪

68
00:02:58,150 --> 00:03:00,000
♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪

69
00:03:00,330 --> 00:03:01,366
♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪

70
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:05,350
[groovy music playing]

71
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:19,160
Oh, Val, I cannot believe how
our entire graduating class
has aged.

72
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:22,830
-Everybody looks so old.
-Yeah.

73
00:03:22,116 --> 00:03:23,433
You wanna sign the guest book?

74
00:03:23,466 --> 00:03:27,316
Oh, no.
I'll tell you, my joints are
all stiff from the dampness.

75
00:03:28,383 --> 00:03:30,300
You know what?
Let's hit the buffet

76
00:03:30,333 --> 00:03:32,300
-and see what they got.
-Yeah. Good. All right.
You know what?

77
00:03:32,333 --> 00:03:34,183
Let's load up
on the finger food

78
00:03:34,216 --> 00:03:38,150
because I want it
to look really organic
when I flash my new ring

79
00:03:38,183 --> 00:03:41,330
-under Naomi Demble's new nose.
-Okay.

80
00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:43,200
Excuse me, could you pass me
a quiche?

81
00:03:45,383 --> 00:03:48,300
[women] Oh!

82
00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:50,300
Oh.

83
00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:53,250
-Ray Barone.
-Hey. You look great.

84
00:03:53,283 --> 00:03:55,160
-Look at you.
-Thank you.

85
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,316
-Oh, you brought your fiancé.
-[laughs] No.

86
00:03:57,350 --> 00:03:59,200
Hey, right there.

87
00:03:59,233 --> 00:04:01,100
Nice to see you again, buddy.

88
00:04:01,133 --> 00:04:05,450
Uh-uh. Oh, no, Ray.
Fran's not making up
ridiculous excuses anymore.

89
00:04:05,483 --> 00:04:09,166
Her fiancé
had to go to Washington
to talk to the President.

90
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,283
Mm-hmm.

91
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,366
He's in the bathroom.

92
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,466
[laughs]

93
00:04:17,233 --> 00:04:19,350
You know, Raymond,
in highschool

94
00:04:19,383 --> 00:04:21,316
-I had such a crush on you.
-No.

95
00:04:21,350 --> 00:04:23,250
[chuckling]
Well, who didn't?

96
00:04:23,283 --> 00:04:25,433
Everybody loved Raymond.

97
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:28,000
[laughs]

98
00:04:28,330 --> 00:04:30,450
You know, Ray, I understand
congratulations are in order.

99
00:04:30,483 --> 00:04:33,830
I read in the newsletter
that you just had twins.

100
00:04:33,116 --> 00:04:35,416
-That must be fabulous.
-Yeah. Yeah.

101
00:04:35,450 --> 00:04:38,333
-I have a 5-year-old
and twin 2-year-old boys.
-Wow.

102
00:04:38,366 --> 00:04:40,333
So, you know,
I don't care
how this reunion goes

103
00:04:40,366 --> 00:04:42,283
I'm just happy to be out
of the house.

104
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,660
[laughing]

105
00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:47,300
That was always you, Ray.
Funny and fertile.

106
00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:49,216
Oh!

107
00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:52,100
Thank you.
And we just got
a deal on a house too.

108
00:04:52,133 --> 00:04:54,283
No one wanted to live there
because of the noise factor.

109
00:04:54,316 --> 00:04:56,350
Why? Are you near the airport
or something?

110
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:59,166
No, no, across the street
from my parents.

111
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,150
[laughs]

112
00:05:01,183 --> 00:05:03,450
Oh, boy, Ray,
I think you better
get back to your table.

113
00:05:03,483 --> 00:05:05,466
It looks like your wife
is getting a little annoyed

114
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:09,133
that you're talking so long
to the two of us.

115
00:05:09,166 --> 00:05:13,233
No, it's because
this is her plate. Yeah.

116
00:05:13,266 --> 00:05:15,350
-Bye. See you.
-Bye, Ray.

117
00:05:20,660 --> 00:05:21,183
-Fran.
-What?

118
00:05:21,216 --> 00:05:23,283
Naomi Demble, 11 o'clock.

119
00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:25,250
Where?

120
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:27,830
That's 1 o'clock, Val.

121
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:29,483
Fran, it's me, Naomi.

122
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:34,000
Hi, Naomi. How are you?
You look fabulous.

123
00:05:34,330 --> 00:05:35,416
I know.

124
00:05:36,416 --> 00:05:38,183
You two, you look stunning.

125
00:05:38,216 --> 00:05:40,183
-Your hair, your outfits.
-Thank you. Thank you.

126
00:05:40,216 --> 00:05:43,166
You see? You wait long enough,
everything comes back again.

127
00:05:45,350 --> 00:05:48,250
Let's hope the same doesn't
apply to your<i>schnoz.</i>

128
00:05:48,283 --> 00:05:50,366
-Oh.
-[chuckles]

129
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,116
-Just like old times.
-I know.

130
00:05:53,150 --> 00:05:56,366
Come sit at my table.
Gayle, Ivy, Dolores,
they're all here.

131
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:59,283
-They hated us.
-I know. Come sit.

132
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,250
Look who it is.

133
00:06:02,283 --> 00:06:04,500
-Hi.
-Hi.

134
00:06:04,830 --> 00:06:06,116
Oh, my God.

135
00:06:06,150 --> 00:06:08,283
-You look awesome.
-Oh, my God.

136
00:06:08,316 --> 00:06:11,316
-Oh, Dotty, tell me...
-Pretty.

137
00:06:11,350 --> 00:06:16,133
How is that husband of yours,
Mr. Park Avenue Doctor?

138
00:06:16,166 --> 00:06:21,500
Oh. Oh, well, the older we got,
the less we found
we had in common.

139
00:06:21,830 --> 00:06:24,266
-Oh.
-Yeah. He liked to sleep with
18-year-olds, and I wasn't one.

140
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:25,450
[gasps]

141
00:06:25,483 --> 00:06:28,330
-How awful.
-You're divorced?

142
00:06:28,660 --> 00:06:30,000
-Honey, we all are.
-[Val gasps]

143
00:06:30,330 --> 00:06:32,450
But you all seemed so happy
at the last reunion.

144
00:06:32,483 --> 00:06:34,450
You were flashing
your wedding pictures

145
00:06:34,483 --> 00:06:37,216
and showing off
your engagement rings

146
00:06:37,250 --> 00:06:41,383
which, if you ask me,
I thought was very obnoxious.

147
00:06:42,383 --> 00:06:44,183
You're happy
for two minutes,

148
00:06:44,216 --> 00:06:46,000
and then everything's
an argument.

149
00:06:46,330 --> 00:06:48,830
I think it's cold.
He thinks it's hot.

150
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,316
I like Letterman.
He likes Leno.

151
00:06:50,350 --> 00:06:52,116
I dislike his friends.

152
00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:54,483
He thinks all mine are shrill,
foul-mouthed boozers.

153
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,200
He could bite me.

154
00:06:59,660 --> 00:07:01,830
Franny, you were
the smart one.

155
00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:04,216
Marriage is the surest way
to ruin any relationship.

156
00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:06,433
[sighing] So, what's new
with you?

157
00:07:08,316 --> 00:07:10,316
I'm engaged.

158
00:07:10,350 --> 00:07:13,316
-Oh, Franny. Oh.
-Oh.

159
00:07:21,466 --> 00:07:25,500
You know, Niles,
ever since those men came
to take Miss Babcock away...

160
00:07:25,830 --> 00:07:28,160
Ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha.

161
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:30,400
You're acting kind of strange.
I mean, why don't you just admit
you miss her?

162
00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:32,133
Because I don't miss her.

163
00:07:32,166 --> 00:07:35,116
Oh, really?
Explain tonight's dessert.

164
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,300
So, what of it?

165
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:42,166
All my years of torment
and torture have put her
where she is today.

166
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,483
There's not a moment
that goes by
that I don't blame myself.

167
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,366
But, Niles, it was
Dad's and Fran's engagement

168
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,660
that sent her
over the edge.

169
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:50,160
That's what I think,
but I didn't wanna say.

170
00:07:51,416 --> 00:07:53,416
You want a piece of chin?
She's got three.

171
00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:57,250
-Just gonna pass.
-Okay.

172
00:07:57,283 --> 00:08:00,283
Okay, home sweet home.

173
00:08:00,316 --> 00:08:02,166
Come on in.

174
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,116
So, tell me, Mary Ann,
what does your daddy do?

175
00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:08,500
He's Chairman and CEO
of Amcon International.

176
00:08:08,830 --> 00:08:10,160
What does your father do?

177
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:11,150
Eats pudding.

178
00:08:13,330 --> 00:08:16,160
Is anyone hungry?
I'll cut you a slab
of Miss Babcock.

179
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:18,330
-No.
-No.

180
00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:21,350
Isn't Fran cool?
I can't wait till her and
my Dad get married.

181
00:08:21,383 --> 00:08:25,333
Ever since my Dad
married my stepmother,
I became invisible.

182
00:08:25,366 --> 00:08:28,216
I guess I got a little blurry
when they tried to focus on me

183
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,233
through a martini glass
in St.Bart's.

184
00:08:31,450 --> 00:08:33,383
Well, that won't happen to me.

185
00:08:35,330 --> 00:08:37,500
-Oh, hello, darling.
-Hi, sweetie.

186
00:08:37,830 --> 00:08:40,200
-Hello. I'm here.
-Oh, sorry, sweetie.

187
00:08:40,233 --> 00:08:42,830
-Sorry, didn't see you there.
-Didn't see you.

188
00:08:42,116 --> 00:08:44,116
Mm-hmm.

189
00:08:44,150 --> 00:08:46,366
Well, my plane
landed a little late.

190
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,330
How was your reunion?

191
00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:51,116
Oh, I'll tell you,
everybody was so self-absorbed

192
00:08:51,150 --> 00:08:54,283
with their divorces
and their child custody battles

193
00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:57,466
that it was nearly impossible
to steer them back
to me and my engagement.

194
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,466
Mmm, there you go.

195
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:04,133
That's why I hate reunions.
I'll come up with
any excuse I can to avoid...

196
00:09:04,166 --> 00:09:07,233
Oh, well, no, this was real.
I actually went to Washington.

197
00:09:07,266 --> 00:09:10,283
Look, I stole you
a White House coaster

198
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:12,450
to go with your collection
of pilfered memorabilia.

199
00:09:12,483 --> 00:09:14,316
Oh.

200
00:09:14,350 --> 00:09:16,330
Thank you, sweetie.

201
00:09:16,660 --> 00:09:17,466
Oh, you know me so well.

202
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,000
See, that's why we're never
gonna have the problems

203
00:09:20,330 --> 00:09:21,416
that my friends have.

204
00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:24,366
You wouldn't believe
the idiotic reasons that
broke up their marriages.

205
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:28,400
I mean, who cares what
television show you watch
before you go to bed?

206
00:09:28,433 --> 00:09:30,233
Well, exactly.<i>Nightline.</i>

207
00:09:30,266 --> 00:09:32,233
Or<i>TV Land.</i>

208
00:09:32,266 --> 00:09:34,333
Whatever. [chuckles]

209
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:37,150
What difference does it make
if you spend every Sunday

210
00:09:37,183 --> 00:09:41,133
coordinating bathroom towels
with wallpaper?

211
00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:43,433
Or going to the driving range.

212
00:09:43,466 --> 00:09:45,316
-Whatever.
-Whatever.

213
00:09:46,483 --> 00:09:49,160
The important thing is
I'm gonna wake up every morning

214
00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:52,266
with your arms
around me like this.

215
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,483
Well, actually,
to be strictly honest

216
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,483
it will be more like this
because I sleep on
the left side of the bed.

217
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:00,250
Oh, but

218
00:10:01,830 --> 00:10:02,300
that's my side.

219
00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:05,216
-Well, not anymore.
-[chuckles]

220
00:10:07,216 --> 00:10:10,133
But Jews always lie
to the left of center.

221
00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:16,150
Politically, Fran.
Not Posturepedically.

222
00:10:17,216 --> 00:10:18,450
Well, now, wait a minute here.

223
00:10:18,483 --> 00:10:21,000
It seems like I'm making
all the compromises.

224
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:23,100
I mean, I'm the one that's
moving out of my place.

225
00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:27,350
-I'm moving into your place.
-Yes, well, your place
is my place

226
00:10:27,383 --> 00:10:30,183
and my place
is where it's always been

227
00:10:30,216 --> 00:10:33,830
on the left side of the bed.
It's been there for 40 years.

228
00:10:33,116 --> 00:10:35,200
Yeah, well, I've been
on the left side for...

229
00:10:35,233 --> 00:10:38,183
Oh, nice try.

230
00:10:40,166 --> 00:10:43,100
You know, Fran,
one of these days you have
to tell me your exact age.

231
00:10:43,133 --> 00:10:45,330
Oh, all right. Fine.

232
00:10:45,660 --> 00:10:46,116
You sleep on the left.

233
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,300
-Thank you, Niles.
-Mm-hmm.

234
00:10:54,333 --> 00:10:59,000
Do you have anymore
of that Miss Babcock cake?

235
00:10:59,483 --> 00:11:01,200
Tons and tons.

236
00:11:02,283 --> 00:11:04,366
Just as in life,
no one's touched her.

237
00:11:07,116 --> 00:11:09,416
Oh, Ma, do you think that it's
bad that me and Mr. Sheffield

238
00:11:09,450 --> 00:11:13,660
are already fighting
and we aren't even
married yet?

239
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:17,100
Darling, do you realize
that your father and I
wouldn't even speak

240
00:11:17,133 --> 00:11:18,383
if it weren't for fighting?

241
00:11:20,316 --> 00:11:22,500
That and ordering.

242
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:27,330
You know, Fran, it's healthy
to get out all your differences

243
00:11:27,660 --> 00:11:29,330
-before you make a commitment.
-I suppose.

244
00:11:29,660 --> 00:11:31,366
Look, Kenny and I
had to work through
a lot of things

245
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,366
before I would let him live
with me.

246
00:11:34,416 --> 00:11:36,200
Val, Kenny's a dog.

247
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,116
Let's just say, you know,
we're already fighting

248
00:11:42,150 --> 00:11:44,416
over what side of the bed
we sleep on.

249
00:11:44,450 --> 00:11:46,466
Darling, trust me,
once you have children

250
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,166
you'll be too exhausted
to fight.

251
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,500
You'll sleep wherever you land.

252
00:11:53,133 --> 00:11:55,500
I guess you're right.

253
00:11:55,830 --> 00:11:57,366
Oh, this is all so trivial.

254
00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:01,316
I mean, the important thing is,
Maxwell is a wonderful man

255
00:12:01,350 --> 00:12:03,183
-and we love each other.
-Mm-hmm.

256
00:12:03,216 --> 00:12:06,330
We're gonna make
beautiful babies together.

257
00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:07,333
All before I'm 30.

258
00:12:09,466 --> 00:12:11,300
-Who wants cake?
-[women] Ooh.

259
00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:14,233
She's loaded with rum,
just like the original.

260
00:12:22,183 --> 00:12:24,160
-Oh, Maxwell.
-Oh, Fran.

261
00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:25,266
-I apologize.
-I'm sorry.

262
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:27,150
-Oh, you first.
-No, you first.

263
00:12:27,183 --> 00:12:29,200
-No, you first.
-No, I insist. You first.

264
00:12:29,233 --> 00:12:32,500
Oh, look at this. We're fighting
over who ends the fight first.

265
00:12:32,830 --> 00:12:33,100
[both chuckling]

266
00:12:33,133 --> 00:12:35,160
Well, I did.

267
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:39,160
Well, technically it was me,
but whatever.

268
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:43,383
Sweetie, if you want
the left side of the bed,
you got the left side.

269
00:12:43,416 --> 00:12:45,466
The point is,
that is the bed

270
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,366
that we're going to sleep on
for the rest of our lives.

271
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,216
The bed we're gonna
raise a family on.
The bed we're gonna...

272
00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:53,330
-Excuse me?
-What?

273
00:12:53,660 --> 00:12:55,830
A family?

274
00:12:55,116 --> 00:12:57,333
Well, yeah, a family.
I mean...

275
00:12:57,366 --> 00:13:00,483
You know, we've never really
discussed this before,

276
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,200
but you do wanna
have a family with me,
don't you?

277
00:13:03,233 --> 00:13:05,333
Well, I...
You know, I...

278
00:13:05,366 --> 00:13:07,416
I haven't really given it
much thought yet.

279
00:13:07,450 --> 00:13:10,150
I mean, we do have
three children already.

280
00:13:10,183 --> 00:13:13,100
Yes, and I love them
like they were my own,

281
00:13:13,133 --> 00:13:17,830
but, well, I never got
to experience them
taking their first steps.

282
00:13:17,116 --> 00:13:20,183
I never got to rock them
in my arms.

283
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:23,366
Except for that one time
that Maggie came home sick
from a frat party.

284
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,150
What frat party?

285
00:13:26,183 --> 00:13:28,500
Oh, frap...

286
00:13:28,830 --> 00:13:30,416
-Frap party.
Frappuccino, cappuccino.
-Oh.

287
00:13:30,450 --> 00:13:33,250
All that caffeine
made her very dizzy.

288
00:13:35,660 --> 00:13:38,116
The point is, I want to
experience motherhood.

289
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:41,330
I wanna know
what it feels like
to be pregnant.

290
00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:44,830
I wanna wake up and throw up
and be sick

291
00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:46,316
and not just because I opened
my Visa bill.

292
00:13:49,450 --> 00:13:53,316
Fran, the thing is,
I'm not sure I'm prepared
to have more children.

293
00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:57,333
Well, the time
on my biological clock
is running out

294
00:13:57,366 --> 00:14:01,166
so you better decide
in the next 15 years.

295
00:14:02,183 --> 00:14:03,400
Fran.

296
00:14:03,433 --> 00:14:06,450
I wanna have a baby.

297
00:14:06,483 --> 00:14:09,483
Uh-oh. She wants a baby
of her own.

298
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:11,316
Once that happens,
you'll get shipped off

299
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:14,830
to some miserable
boarding school.

300
00:14:14,116 --> 00:14:15,466
Well, why? You don't go
to boarding school.

301
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,366
-You go to the same school I do.
-My father had a vasectomy.

302
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:29,416
Now, darling,
I'm sure it's not
half as bad as it seems.

303
00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:31,450
What could he have said?

304
00:14:31,483 --> 00:14:38,830
[sobbing] He doesn't
wanna have a baby.

305
00:14:38,116 --> 00:14:40,300
Where is he?
I'll kill him.

306
00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:43,483
Five long years
he strings me along

307
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:48,483
and then he pulls
this crap on me seven weeks
before my wedding.

308
00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:53,233
My wedding, Ma.

309
00:14:53,266 --> 00:14:57,100
It's not natural.
I never heard
of such a thing.

310
00:14:57,133 --> 00:15:01,216
What man
doesn't wanna procrastinate
with the woman he loves?

311
00:15:02,350 --> 00:15:04,233
Procreate, Ma.

312
00:15:05,266 --> 00:15:06,433
I don't get it.

313
00:15:06,466 --> 00:15:09,433
Why doesn't he wanna have
children with me?

314
00:15:09,466 --> 00:15:12,100
I mean, is there
some trait of mine

315
00:15:12,133 --> 00:15:15,500
that he's afraid
I'm gonna pass on
to the kids?

316
00:15:15,483 --> 00:15:19,400
What could it be?

317
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,100
Amy Irving.

318
00:15:24,133 --> 00:15:29,500
Ninety-two million she got
when she split from Spielberg.

319
00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:31,133
You think she would
have gotten 9 cents

320
00:15:31,166 --> 00:15:34,133
if she didn't
have a kid with him?

321
00:15:34,166 --> 00:15:37,216
Ma, what does that
have to do with us?
[sniffling]

322
00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:39,233
I don't know.
It just seemed pertinent.

323
00:15:41,150 --> 00:15:43,466
Fran, I am telling you
right now.

324
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,133
If I don't get grandchildren
out of him,

325
00:15:46,166 --> 00:15:50,116
I will never set foot
in this house again.

326
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,283
Oh, well, congratulations, Ma.

327
00:15:52,316 --> 00:15:57,116
You have just invented the first
fool-proof male contraceptive.

328
00:16:03,450 --> 00:16:05,300
[knocking on door]

329
00:16:05,333 --> 00:16:09,000
Excuse me, sir.
I put together a little card
to cheer up Miss Babcock.

330
00:16:09,330 --> 00:16:11,160
-Would you care to sign?
-Oh, yes.

331
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:14,660
"Let's hope your recovery is
faster than your metabolism."

332
00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:17,000
Niles?

333
00:16:17,330 --> 00:16:19,000
Oh, I see
what you're getting at.

334
00:16:19,330 --> 00:16:20,133
Keep up the insults.

335
00:16:20,166 --> 00:16:22,266
Maintain a sense
of normalcy, huh?

336
00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:25,166
-Um, yeah.
-There you go.

337
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,366
Oh, Niles...

338
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,330
I need a little help
with something.

339
00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:32,333
Why can't Fran just be happy
with what she has?

340
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:35,166
I mean,
we haven't even walked
down the aisle yet.

341
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,433
What are you talking about, sir?

342
00:16:37,466 --> 00:16:40,266
Niles, are you telling me that
for the first time in 25 years

343
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,416
you don't know
about something in this house?

344
00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:44,283
Yes.

345
00:16:45,283 --> 00:16:46,466
What's happening to me?

346
00:16:48,150 --> 00:16:51,100
Without Miss Babcock,
me muse is gone.

347
00:16:52,283 --> 00:16:53,466
Oh, don't be so ridiculous.

348
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,183
Even before
Miss Babcock was here,

349
00:16:55,216 --> 00:16:57,100
you were always
a big, fat gossip.

350
00:16:57,133 --> 00:17:00,100
Excuse me.
I have better things
to do than...

351
00:17:00,133 --> 00:17:01,350
You thought I was fat?

352
00:17:03,330 --> 00:17:06,316
Look, Fran wants to have
a baby with me.

353
00:17:06,350 --> 00:17:08,500
What? You've forgotten
how to do it?

354
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:10,400
This is serious, Niles.

355
00:17:10,433 --> 00:17:12,660
I'm not sure I--

356
00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:14,660
I don't think I wanna go
through that again.

357
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,160
You know, all the crying
and the diapers

358
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,200
and the waking up at 4:00
in the morning.

359
00:17:18,233 --> 00:17:23,330
Oh, sir, it's really not so bad,
when you consider
I did all that.

360
00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:26,366
You know, come to think of it,
you are too old to have a baby.

361
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,200
I'm not that old.

362
00:17:28,233 --> 00:17:30,333
You have three
children already.

363
00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:32,216
Why can't Miss Fine
be happy with that?

364
00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:35,350
Because they're not ours.

365
00:17:35,383 --> 00:17:39,333
Having a baby
is one of those things
that bonds a couple together.

366
00:17:39,366 --> 00:17:41,416
Oh. That's why
we're so close.

367
00:17:43,116 --> 00:17:44,433
You know,
maybe it would be fun

368
00:17:44,466 --> 00:17:46,483
to have a baby
around the house again.

369
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,116
Niles, do you remember
when the children were little

370
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:50,466
that Christmas
we baked cookies

371
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,100
and I pretended to come down
the chimney as Santa Claus?

372
00:17:54,133 --> 00:17:55,450
That was me too, sir.

373
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,133
You thought I should
play Santa.

374
00:17:59,166 --> 00:18:01,150
Probably because I was so fat.

375
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:13,416
What's wrong with Blossom?

376
00:18:13,450 --> 00:18:15,483
Well, I'm worried about
what's gonna happen to me

377
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,000
after Fran and Daddy
get married.

378
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:20,150
Gracie found a brochure
for boarding school.

379
00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:22,233
Oh, man. What ages?
What ages? Come on.

380
00:18:22,266 --> 00:18:24,316
-Eight to 14.
-Oh, I'm cool. Write me.

381
00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:29,183
Don't worry about him.
He's an idiot.

382
00:18:29,216 --> 00:18:31,450
I will always be here
for you, Gracie.

383
00:18:31,483 --> 00:18:33,133
[horn honks]

384
00:18:33,166 --> 00:18:35,500
Starting tomorrow.
That's Rick.

385
00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:39,830
Hi, sweetie.

386
00:18:39,116 --> 00:18:41,150
What's the matter?

387
00:18:41,183 --> 00:18:44,200
Okay, Fran. I wanna calmly
discuss the situation.

388
00:18:44,233 --> 00:18:46,250
-Okay.
-I don't wanna go
to the place

389
00:18:46,283 --> 00:18:48,333
where I'm saying,
"I hate you! I hate you both!"

390
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,133
Gracie, honey.

391
00:18:51,166 --> 00:18:54,660
What are you talking about?
What situation?

392
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,166
Well, it has to do
with my friend.

393
00:18:56,466 --> 00:18:58,150
Your friend?

394
00:18:58,450 --> 00:19:00,300
Oh, your friend.

395
00:19:00,333 --> 00:19:03,450
Oh, my God.
You got your friend.

396
00:19:03,483 --> 00:19:06,330
-What?
-Don't worry, sweetie

397
00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:07,483
these mood swings
are normal.

398
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:12,466
Before your cycle,
during your cycle
and after your cycle.

399
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,233
No, Fran,
I'm talking about
my friend Mary Ann.

400
00:19:15,266 --> 00:19:18,383
She said that once
you and Daddy got married,
you'd get rid of me.

401
00:19:18,416 --> 00:19:20,366
And then I found this.

402
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,100
"Miss Porter's Boarding School"?

403
00:19:23,133 --> 00:19:26,150
Oh, sweetie,
this has gotta be
a mistake.

404
00:19:26,183 --> 00:19:28,483
And, you know,
it isn't nice for little
girls to go snooping

405
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:30,366
through their father's mail.

406
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,160
I don't know where
you learn these things...

407
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:36,330
Oh, maybe I shouldn't ask
so many questions.

408
00:19:36,660 --> 00:19:37,333
Come on. We'll go talk
to your father.

409
00:19:40,233 --> 00:19:42,433
Maxwell, we need to talk.

410
00:19:42,466 --> 00:19:46,116
Now, it's one thing
not to want to have
any more children with me

411
00:19:46,150 --> 00:19:50,100
but now to send my youngest
off to boarding school.

412
00:19:50,133 --> 00:19:53,183
[sighing] Well, if you had
bothered to steal the insert

413
00:19:53,216 --> 00:19:56,183
that goes with that brochure,
you would know
that it was actually

414
00:19:56,216 --> 00:19:59,300
a summer drama camp
on Miss Porter's campus.

415
00:19:59,333 --> 00:20:01,283
Well, I don't care
what it is.

416
00:20:01,316 --> 00:20:05,283
I am not sending
poor little Gracie off
to some miserable camp.

417
00:20:05,316 --> 00:20:07,466
Hey, Fran, wait.
This place looks awesome.

418
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,500
Eighty-six it, honey.
I'm winning this compromise.

419
00:20:11,283 --> 00:20:15,660
And furthermore,
if this is the way
you're going to behave

420
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:18,100
maybe it's a good thing
that we're not having
a child together.

421
00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:20,466
Fran, I'd like
to re-visit that discussion.

422
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,300
Go look at your fun
brochure, honey.

423
00:20:23,333 --> 00:20:26,466
Darling, it's not that I don't
want to have children with you.

424
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,283
It's just that
we've waited so long
to be alone together.

425
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:33,160
Anyway,
you have a lot of time
to have children.

426
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:34,183
You're still so young.

427
00:20:34,216 --> 00:20:38,330
Oh, come on.
I mean, you got a point.

428
00:20:38,660 --> 00:20:41,160
I want us to spend some time
traveling the world together.

429
00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:43,000
Eating at exotic restaurants

430
00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:47,116
sipping champagne
on beautiful yachts
as they pull into foreign ports.

431
00:20:47,150 --> 00:20:50,216
Well, I was thinking about
a weekend in the Poconos

432
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,133
with a complimentary
bagel breakfast,

433
00:20:52,166 --> 00:20:55,166
but once again,
I'll compromise.

434
00:20:56,466 --> 00:20:59,166
Oh, I guess it's okay
if we wait a while.

435
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,200
I mean, after all,
you don't make a baby

436
00:21:01,233 --> 00:21:04,000
necessarily on
the first time out.

437
00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:06,466
-We're gonna need
a lot of practice.
-Mmm.

438
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,100
You know, you're awfully cute
when you compromise.

439
00:21:10,133 --> 00:21:13,830
And you're awfully cute
when you tell me
I'm awfully cute.

440
00:21:13,116 --> 00:21:15,000
[chuckling]

441
00:21:15,330 --> 00:21:16,366
[clicking]

442
00:21:18,283 --> 00:21:20,350
It's a bit more normalcy
for Miss Babcock.

443
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:25,100
Got a stamp?

444
00:21:29,450 --> 00:21:32,100
Oh, well, you see,
here's yet another reason

445
00:21:32,133 --> 00:21:34,183
why I should be
on the left side of the bed

446
00:21:34,216 --> 00:21:38,330
because when I put
my mini-fridge in here,
it's gonna open to the right.

447
00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:43,433
You know, you could put in
a full-size in that corner

448
00:21:43,466 --> 00:21:46,266
-with a faux wooden door...
-Uh-huh.

449
00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:48,416
...it would pass
for an armoire.

450
00:21:50,660 --> 00:21:52,660
Oh, look, picture-in-picture.

451
00:21:52,100 --> 00:21:55,266
Mister Ed,
and who's Madeleine Albright?

452
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:57,300
She's the Secretary of State.

453
00:21:57,333 --> 00:21:59,333
Now, would you please
get out of my room?

454
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,366
Honey...

455
00:22:11,416 --> 00:22:13,400
[theme music playing]

456
00:22:28,433 --> 00:22:30,400
[theme music ends]