1
00:00:08,366 --> 00:00:11,150
So, Dad, last day
as a free man.
2
00:00:11,183 --> 00:00:14,383
No more wild nights,
no more wild women.
3
00:00:14,416 --> 00:00:16,333
So basically,
same old, same old.
4
00:00:18,433 --> 00:00:20,183
Like father, like son, eh?
5
00:00:20,216 --> 00:00:22,283
[both chuckle]
6
00:00:22,316 --> 00:00:23,350
Yeah.
7
00:00:26,450 --> 00:00:29,300
-Your sister, sir.
-Oh, Jocelyn.
8
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:31,100
There's the groom.
9
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:36,316
Darling, handsome as ever.
10
00:00:36,350 --> 00:00:38,000
[Niles clearing throat]
11
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:41,433
-Niles, you're always stunning.
-Oh, stop.
12
00:00:43,830 --> 00:00:45,200
Press everything in my bag,
would you?
13
00:00:45,233 --> 00:00:47,500
I said stop.
14
00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:51,300
So where is she?
Where's mother?
15
00:00:51,333 --> 00:00:53,466
Oh, she declined
the invitation.
16
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,216
Seems she despises
your fiancée.
17
00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:59,266
What? That's ridiculous.
I talked to her the other day.
She said she adores Fran.
18
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:01,133
Abhors, darling.
19
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:06,466
I know it's horrid,
but you know Mummy.
20
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,316
She doesn't think anyone
has the class of a Sheffield.
21
00:01:09,350 --> 00:01:10,450
Yeah, so?
22
00:01:21,483 --> 00:01:24,250
In the short year
that I've been here,
23
00:01:24,283 --> 00:01:29,133
I have added a certain element
of style and panache
to this house.
24
00:01:30,233 --> 00:01:31,366
When did I eat corn?
25
00:01:34,183 --> 00:01:35,450
Well, she loved
my late wife, Sara.
26
00:01:35,483 --> 00:01:37,250
Oh, absolutely.
27
00:01:37,283 --> 00:01:41,830
-She thought she
was a real stitch.
-Yeah, right.
28
00:01:42,233 --> 00:01:43,383
She did say stitch?
29
00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:48,166
Oh, Jocelyn,
I can't believe this.
30
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,100
My own mother
not coming to my wedding?
31
00:01:51,133 --> 00:01:54,433
Well, fine.
Fine, see if I care!
32
00:01:54,466 --> 00:01:57,450
I don't need her approval.
33
00:01:57,483 --> 00:02:01,000
All right, maybe Fran
was a little rough
around the edges
34
00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:02,160
in the beginning,
35
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:03,133
but after 5 years
of being exposed
36
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:07,233
to the finest things in life,
one grows.
37
00:02:07,266 --> 00:02:09,216
You got the edible undies
in petite?
38
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:17,150
Oh, wouldn't this look
adorable on me?
39
00:02:17,183 --> 00:02:21,830
Ma, I'm getting a little scared
just seeing it next to you.
40
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,366
-How are we doing on time?
-Oh, let's see.
41
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:32,283
Uh, nineteen hours
and ten seconds
till the big event.
42
00:02:32,316 --> 00:02:35,316
-[exclaims]
-Well, what about
till the wedding?
43
00:02:35,350 --> 00:02:37,830
[both] Ahh! [giggle]
44
00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:42,166
Oh, good.
Oh, you got the piña colada
in petite. That's great.
45
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,316
Ma, wait till you see
the gorgeous negligee
that I ordered.
46
00:02:45,350 --> 00:02:48,330
It is so... black?
47
00:02:48,660 --> 00:02:50,433
Oh, no, no, no.
I ordered this in white.
48
00:02:50,466 --> 00:02:52,466
No, I'm sorry.
They shipped it in black, hon.
49
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,466
But I ordered it
in white, doll.
50
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,200
No can do, babe.
51
00:02:57,233 --> 00:03:00,160
Well, doll better do,
or babe will kill doll!
52
00:03:02,233 --> 00:03:05,830
Everybody calm down.
53
00:03:05,116 --> 00:03:08,000
Look, darling, my daughter
is getting married
54
00:03:08,330 --> 00:03:11,660
in 19 hours
and nine seconds.
55
00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:13,183
Is there something
that we could do
56
00:03:13,216 --> 00:03:17,316
to expedite the situation?
57
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:22,250
Are you trying to bribe me
with a candy bar?
58
00:03:22,283 --> 00:03:24,416
Half.
59
00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:27,830
I'm sorry. There's nothing
I can do to help you.
60
00:03:27,116 --> 00:03:29,160
The South Jersey store
can't ship till Monday.
61
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:30,300
You'll have to
take the black.
62
00:03:30,333 --> 00:03:33,216
She can't wear friggin' black!
It's her wedding night!
63
00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:35,183
She has to look
like a virgin.
64
00:03:38,416 --> 00:03:40,133
I said look.
65
00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:47,830
♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪
66
00:03:47,116 --> 00:03:48,266
♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪
67
00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:49,433
♪ Til her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪
68
00:03:49,466 --> 00:03:51,133
♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪
69
00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:53,000
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪
70
00:03:53,330 --> 00:03:56,830
♪ She was out on her fanny ♪
71
00:03:56,116 --> 00:03:57,383
♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪
72
00:03:57,416 --> 00:03:59,200
♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪
73
00:03:59,233 --> 00:04:01,283
♪ She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more ♪
74
00:04:01,316 --> 00:04:03,383
♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there ♪
75
00:04:03,416 --> 00:04:04,416
♪ That's how she became ♪
76
00:04:04,450 --> 00:04:07,166
♪ The Nanny ♪
77
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,200
♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪
78
00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:12,250
♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪
79
00:04:12,283 --> 00:04:13,466
♪ Now, the father
Finds her beguiling ♪
80
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,233
♪ Watch out C.C. ♪
81
00:04:15,266 --> 00:04:16,333
♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪
82
00:04:16,366 --> 00:04:17,416
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
83
00:04:17,450 --> 00:04:19,116
♪ She's the lady in red ♪
84
00:04:19,150 --> 00:04:23,316
♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪
85
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,333
♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪
86
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:27,330
♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪
87
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:33,433
We schlepped all the way
to Jersey for that negligee
88
00:04:33,466 --> 00:04:36,830
and in two seconds,
he's gonna rip it off,
89
00:04:36,116 --> 00:04:39,416
cover you with
chocolate Cool Whip
and ravage you.
90
00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:45,433
Taking a little trip
to hotel vicarious, Ma?
91
00:04:47,383 --> 00:04:51,830
So, Sylvia, do you remember
what you did the night
before your wedding?
92
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:55,330
Yeah. I dilated
three centimeters.
93
00:04:56,450 --> 00:04:59,216
I know what
I'm gonna be doing.
94
00:04:59,250 --> 00:05:03,116
Val's coming over,
we're gonna get manicures
and pedicures.
95
00:05:03,150 --> 00:05:06,100
Ooh, and I got those
special strips that when
you tear them off your nose,
96
00:05:06,133 --> 00:05:07,283
it cleans out
your whole pores.
97
00:05:07,316 --> 00:05:09,250
Ooh!
98
00:05:09,283 --> 00:05:12,000
I used the tape
from Daddy's toupee.
99
00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:13,400
It works the same way.
100
00:05:15,283 --> 00:05:17,266
Oh, I tell you,
this is just fabulous.
101
00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:19,233
We're making
incredible time here.
102
00:05:19,266 --> 00:05:21,216
There's nobody on the road
but us.
103
00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:24,660
Oh, this shortcut of yours
is just brilliant.
104
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:29,150
Hold on! Hold on!
105
00:05:29,183 --> 00:05:32,233
I just want to say that
I hate you so much right now.
106
00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:38,483
You know?
It is so unwise for you
to turn on me right now
107
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:44,830
because last week,
the exact same thing
happened to that tire,
108
00:05:44,116 --> 00:05:46,233
and I learned
how to change it.
109
00:05:46,266 --> 00:05:50,660
-Oh, Val, you know
how to change a tire?
-Mmm-hmm.
110
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,233
I'm very impressed.
111
00:05:51,266 --> 00:05:54,350
I don't know anything
about changing a tire,
112
00:05:54,383 --> 00:05:56,160
except...
113
00:05:57,366 --> 00:05:59,116
-Val?
-Yeah?
114
00:06:00,216 --> 00:06:03,000
Is the spare tire over there?
115
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:09,830
Not so impressed with me
anymore, are you, Fran?
116
00:06:10,416 --> 00:06:13,660
How could you not
replace the spare?
117
00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:15,283
We're in the middle of nowhere.
What are we gonna do?
118
00:06:15,316 --> 00:06:17,100
Well, I learned something.
119
00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:20,316
I cannot go tinkle
with a raccoon watching me.
120
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:27,100
Sylvia, do you know anything
about patching a tire?
121
00:06:27,133 --> 00:06:28,400
What do I know from tires?
122
00:06:28,433 --> 00:06:30,483
Oh, I'll take care of it.
123
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:34,166
I don't believe you two.
Modern, liberated women
of the nineties.
124
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,183
You don't know
how to get a tire fixed.
125
00:07:00,316 --> 00:07:03,183
Well, I don't care
what my mother says.
126
00:07:03,216 --> 00:07:05,183
I know you're the one for me.
127
00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:14,400
[Sara]She is the one
for you, Max.
128
00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:17,216
-Sara?
-Hi, Max.
129
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,150
My God!
130
00:07:21,183 --> 00:07:23,116
Have I completely lost it?
131
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:25,400
No. No, no, no.
132
00:07:25,433 --> 00:07:28,133
And you are making
the right decision, Max.
133
00:07:28,166 --> 00:07:30,183
That's why I came.
134
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:33,660
I want you to know
how happy I am for you.
135
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:35,660
Oh, you are?
136
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:37,200
Look at your eyes.
137
00:07:37,233 --> 00:07:40,116
-Look at your smile.
-[both chuckle]
138
00:07:40,150 --> 00:07:42,116
I love what
she's done for you.
139
00:07:42,150 --> 00:07:45,330
Oh, I am so happy
to hear that, Sara,
140
00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:47,000
because I am just
crazy about...
141
00:07:49,450 --> 00:07:52,416
It's okay to love her, Max.
142
00:07:52,450 --> 00:07:54,416
I love her, too.
143
00:07:54,450 --> 00:07:58,830
Look at what she's done
for our children.
144
00:07:58,116 --> 00:08:01,466
I will be grateful to her
for the rest of my life.
145
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,330
It's an expression.
146
00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:11,233
Oh, Sara,
my darling, Sara.
147
00:08:11,266 --> 00:08:14,316
Oh, when I lost you,
I couldn't handle anything,
148
00:08:14,350 --> 00:08:17,183
especially the children.
149
00:08:17,216 --> 00:08:21,233
And then, out of nowhere,
this meshuggener woman...
150
00:08:22,266 --> 00:08:24,150
-It's an expression.
-[chuckles]
151
00:08:25,216 --> 00:08:28,100
She... she came into our lives
152
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:32,400
and for the first time,
made us all smile again.
153
00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:35,283
Okay, well, we gotta make
Maggie beautiful.
154
00:08:35,316 --> 00:08:38,166
-Yeah, like that's gonna happen.
-Shut up, Brighton.
155
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,433
-Hey, be nicer to your sister.
-Why, because we're a family?
156
00:08:41,466 --> 00:08:46,266
Yes, that's right.
And someday, your father's
gonna be old and sick.
157
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:48,500
You're gonna want him
to live with her.
158
00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:53,216
-I wrote you a poem, Fran.
-You did?
159
00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:57,250
"F" is for the fun
we have together,
160
00:08:57,283 --> 00:09:00,830
"R" is for the rummy
that we play,
161
00:09:00,116 --> 00:09:02,350
"A" is for the answers
to my questions,
162
00:09:02,383 --> 00:09:05,300
and "N" is for the nasal things
you say.
163
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,483
We were in...
in the locker room
after gym.
164
00:09:16,350 --> 00:09:17,400
And?
165
00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:20,660
Fran, I'm smaller
than everyone else.
166
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,830
Smaller? How?
167
00:09:23,116 --> 00:09:26,266
Just forget it.
It's too humiliating.
168
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:30,416
Well, what could be
so humiliating about being
smaller in a locker room?
169
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,333
Honey, you know,
if you don't want me to go
out with him, just say so.
170
00:09:45,366 --> 00:09:47,400
I respect your feelings.
171
00:09:47,433 --> 00:09:49,400
Well, I don't want you
to go out with him.
172
00:09:49,433 --> 00:09:53,160
Well, then I won't
go out with him.
173
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:57,333
I love you and I'd never do
anything to hurt you.
174
00:09:57,366 --> 00:09:59,433
I love you too, Fran.
175
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:03,416
Then please let me
go out with him!
176
00:10:03,450 --> 00:10:08,116
I'm gonna grow old and die
waiting for your father.
177
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:09,283
Hello, sweetheart.
178
00:10:09,316 --> 00:10:12,433
Do you like my party dress?
Lohmann, 70% off.
179
00:10:15,116 --> 00:10:17,150
She'll never shop retail again.
180
00:10:18,416 --> 00:10:20,183
Hi, Dad. Surprised?
181
00:10:20,216 --> 00:10:23,160
-No tricks, Brighton.
-Best behavior.
182
00:10:26,116 --> 00:10:27,100
All right.
183
00:10:30,483 --> 00:10:32,433
Come on, Maggie.
Don't be shy, honey.
184
00:10:34,483 --> 00:10:36,116
My God!
185
00:10:36,150 --> 00:10:39,316
I had no idea how much
she looked like her mother.
186
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:45,100
Oh, I think you'd really
like her, Sara.
187
00:10:45,133 --> 00:10:47,000
I do, Max.
188
00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:49,150
Why do you think
I sent her to you?
189
00:10:50,366 --> 00:10:52,300
You sent her to me?
190
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:55,400
And you heard her speak?
191
00:10:59,830 --> 00:11:00,433
I thought she had a cold.
192
00:11:04,233 --> 00:11:06,183
-[knocks]
-Is everything all right?
193
00:11:06,216 --> 00:11:09,133
Niles! Niles, Come on in,
come on in.
Look who's here.
194
00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:10,483
Who, sir?
195
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,283
He can't see me, Max.
196
00:11:13,316 --> 00:11:16,100
Would you like a drink?
197
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:18,350
No, thanks.
It goes right through me.
198
00:11:26,333 --> 00:11:28,266
No, I'm fine.
Thank you, Niles.
199
00:11:32,330 --> 00:11:34,000
[both laugh]
200
00:11:38,383 --> 00:11:40,830
Be happy, honey.
201
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,433
I'll always love you, Max.
202
00:11:49,133 --> 00:11:50,416
And I'll always love you.
203
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:55,166
Right back at you, sir.
204
00:12:00,266 --> 00:12:01,216
Oy!
205
00:12:02,233 --> 00:12:03,433
Oy!
206
00:12:04,316 --> 00:12:06,330
Stop!
207
00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:10,266
I cannot move one more inch.
208
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:14,366
Oh, I am just so parched.
I need water.
209
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:18,383
Oy! I left the water
in the trunk.
210
00:12:18,416 --> 00:12:20,283
Oh, well, that's genius, Val.
211
00:12:20,316 --> 00:12:24,830
Now, which one of us
is gonna have to go
all the way back and get it?
212
00:12:28,266 --> 00:12:31,160
Oh, fine, I'll go.
213
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:47,500
All right, Fran,
this is starting
to get really scary.
214
00:12:47,830 --> 00:12:50,233
Remember that movie
we saw where those people
were starving,
215
00:12:50,266 --> 00:12:54,133
so they started eating things
they wouldn't normally eat?
216
00:12:54,166 --> 00:12:57,000
You mean the tape
of my bas mitzvah?
217
00:12:57,330 --> 00:12:59,150
No.
218
00:12:59,183 --> 00:13:02,300
I mean the movie
where they started
eating each other.
219
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:05,300
Oh, well, fortunately, we've got
an all-you-can-eat buffet
220
00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:06,450
pulling up the rear.
221
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:13,216
You're gonna be hungry
until you get a mind-set.
222
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:20,266
You gotta block out
all thoughts of food
and pastry products.
223
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:24,316
You know, we've been walking
for 3 hours.
How can you not be hungry?
224
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:29,266
Ma, did you eat
my edible underwears?
225
00:13:35,183 --> 00:13:36,166
Maybe.
226
00:13:38,233 --> 00:13:41,160
Ma, we were gonna
ration my undies.
227
00:13:42,266 --> 00:13:46,160
I was nervous.
You know I always eat
when I'm nervous.
228
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:49,100
Nervous, happy,
sad, swimming.
229
00:13:49,133 --> 00:13:51,416
Well, if no one is gonna
have any more of the cake,
230
00:13:51,450 --> 00:13:53,133
I'm gonna put it away.
231
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,450
Oh, that's good.
232
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:59,100
-Out of sight, out of mind.
-Smart, yeah, Ma.
233
00:13:59,133 --> 00:14:00,183
Very smart.
234
00:14:04,266 --> 00:14:07,383
Oh! Stop her! Stop her!
She's got the cake!
235
00:14:24,466 --> 00:14:28,366
Oh, my God!
I'm having palpitations.
236
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,450
Quick, get me my medicine!
237
00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:57,316
-Darling, what's wrong?
-[chuckles]
238
00:14:57,350 --> 00:15:01,166
Oh, nothing.
I just need to be with
my daddy right now.
239
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,150
Oh, why, sweetheart?
240
00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:08,830
Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
241
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:10,466
I know, I know.
Isn't it awesome?
I knew that you would love it.
242
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,266
No! No, no, no.
243
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:15,166
That was a shocked
and horrified
"Oh, my God!"
244
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,450
It's bloody awful!
245
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:20,166
Well, I'm sorry, Dad,
but I'm 18 years old now
246
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,660
and I can make
my own decisions.
247
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:24,160
Ms. Margaret, your hair.
248
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:26,250
It makes you look
so much younger.
249
00:15:26,283 --> 00:15:30,160
No one will ever
believe you're 18.
I love it.
250
00:15:31,216 --> 00:15:34,160
Well, I hate it,
and I'm going back blond.
251
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:38,216
She's easier to work
than a Muppet.
252
00:15:41,416 --> 00:15:43,350
Since you're feeling so clever,
253
00:15:43,383 --> 00:15:45,450
maybe you can help me with
a rather delicate situation.
254
00:15:45,483 --> 00:15:48,100
Oh, sir,
who cares if your mother's
not coming to the wedding?
255
00:15:48,133 --> 00:15:50,483
Ms. Fine has more class
than she'll ever have.
256
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,250
Isn't it interesting
how you knew of it
257
00:15:53,283 --> 00:15:55,333
before I told you
about the delicate situation?
258
00:15:57,150 --> 00:15:59,133
Sir, that haircut
makes you look
three years younger...
259
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,350
Knock it off.
260
00:16:01,383 --> 00:16:04,283
Do you think I should
tell Fran my mother's
not coming to the wedding?
261
00:16:04,316 --> 00:16:06,116
Well, sir, if I've waited
this long to tell her,
262
00:16:06,150 --> 00:16:08,000
I should think
it's the least you could do.
263
00:16:08,330 --> 00:16:09,400
[telephone ringing]
264
00:16:10,283 --> 00:16:12,100
Yes, hello?
265
00:16:12,133 --> 00:16:13,483
Oh, Mrs. Toriello, How...
266
00:16:14,350 --> 00:16:15,350
What?
267
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,383
Well, where?
268
00:16:18,416 --> 00:16:22,330
Well, yeah, I just got a pen.
Hang on.
269
00:16:22,660 --> 00:16:25,660
Val, Fran, and Sylvia
haven't come back
from New Jersey
270
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:28,000
and now their car's been
found abandoned
on the side of the road.
271
00:16:28,330 --> 00:16:30,433
-Oh, dear.
-Yes. Yes, Mrs. Toriello,
I'm here.
272
00:16:30,466 --> 00:16:33,000
All right, good.
I'm on my way.
273
00:16:33,330 --> 00:16:34,266
Don't worry, Mrs. Toriello,
274
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:36,250
I'm sure everything
is just fine.
275
00:16:36,283 --> 00:16:38,200
Yes, I'm sure
you're right, sir.
276
00:16:38,233 --> 00:16:40,333
They're very resourceful
women.
277
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,450
I'm telling you,
it's gonna work.
278
00:16:44,483 --> 00:16:47,150
Remember that nature program
we saw
279
00:16:47,183 --> 00:16:49,316
where those bears
made a spout in the tree,
280
00:16:49,350 --> 00:16:51,366
so syrup would come out
so they could eat?
281
00:16:53,330 --> 00:16:56,200
Val, those bears were
Yogi and Boo-Boo.
282
00:16:59,483 --> 00:17:02,416
I cannot believe this.
This is the night
before my wedding
283
00:17:02,450 --> 00:17:06,150
and I'm stuck on the side
of the road,
in the middle of nowhere
284
00:17:06,183 --> 00:17:09,830
with you, my mother,
and that stupid snake.
285
00:17:09,116 --> 00:17:11,233
-[gasps] Snake!
-A snake!
286
00:17:11,266 --> 00:17:13,000
[all yelling]
287
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:17,133
-I hate snakes.
-I hate snakes.
288
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:19,400
-Oh, my God!
-Oh, my God!
289
00:17:19,433 --> 00:17:21,333
Oh, my God, a call box!
290
00:17:21,366 --> 00:17:22,483
A call box!
291
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,466
A call box!
Oh, my God, a call box!
292
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,366
Forget it, Fran,
I'm all out of quarters.
293
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,450
You don't need quarters
for a call box, Val.
294
00:17:28,483 --> 00:17:30,200
Well, I wish you would have
told me earlier.
295
00:17:30,233 --> 00:17:32,830
We could have used the one
next to the car.
296
00:17:33,150 --> 00:17:34,266
-Hello?
-Hello?
297
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:35,250
Hello, hello.
298
00:17:35,283 --> 00:17:36,333
Is there a problem?
299
00:17:36,366 --> 00:17:38,500
[Fran]I'll say
there's a problem.
300
00:17:38,830 --> 00:17:40,160
We're stuck out here
in the middle of nowhere.
301
00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:42,433
I'm supposed to be getting
married in less than 14 hours.
302
00:17:42,466 --> 00:17:47,250
And we're starving to death
because my mother
ate my underwears.
303
00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:50,830
All right, why don't
all of you stay calm?
304
00:17:50,116 --> 00:17:52,160
We got your call box number.
305
00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:54,350
We'll send someone out
to you in a few hours.
306
00:17:54,383 --> 00:17:58,160
A few hours? No, no.
Sir, you don't understand.
307
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:00,830
I've waited five years
to marry this man.
308
00:18:00,116 --> 00:18:02,500
And it's true we had
some problems
in the beginning.
309
00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:05,150
Well, not we, but he.
But he did, he did.
310
00:18:05,183 --> 00:18:08,483
My family loves him, and, well,
his mother adores me.
311
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,216
You know, it's really such
a beautiful story.
312
00:18:12,250 --> 00:18:14,500
I mean,
some say it's pathetic,
313
00:18:14,830 --> 00:18:16,133
but you know,
I'm going with beautiful.
314
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:22,366
So what you're really saying is
you feel terrible about
this whole damn thing,
315
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:25,466
And if you could,
you'd get down on your hands
and knees and apologize.
316
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,150
-Ms. Fine...
-Apology accepted.
317
00:18:28,183 --> 00:18:30,433
Ma, pack my things.
He wants me back.
318
00:18:30,466 --> 00:18:32,250
Smile!
319
00:18:34,830 --> 00:18:36,283
Oh, thank you, Ms. Fine.
320
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:44,100
-Thank you, Thank you.
-Anytime, Mr. Sheffield.
321
00:18:44,133 --> 00:18:45,183
Anytime.
322
00:18:54,283 --> 00:18:55,416
I love you.
323
00:18:58,830 --> 00:19:00,830
So, we agree then?
324
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,200
-Friends?
-Friends.
325
00:19:22,416 --> 00:19:26,330
Fran. I love you.
326
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,400
Your father has something
he wants to share with you all.
327
00:19:34,433 --> 00:19:38,160
I've told Ms. Fine I love her.
328
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,483
-What else is new?
-Oh, whatever.
329
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,150
Oh, oh, yes,
I didn't take it back.
330
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:45,660
Oh, congratulations!
331
00:19:46,183 --> 00:19:48,333
Fran. [sighs]
332
00:19:49,416 --> 00:19:51,266
Will you marry me?
333
00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:56,283
What do you think?
334
00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:07,200
[officer]Lady,
it's a beautiful story.
335
00:20:07,233 --> 00:20:08,483
My heart goes out to you,
336
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:13,250
but I got one tow truck
and a wedding
is not an emergency.
337
00:20:15,316 --> 00:20:17,160
You're how old?
338
00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:20,250
I'll send a chopper.
339
00:20:20,283 --> 00:20:25,116
-Oh, thank you, sir.
They're gonna come.
-Oh, thank God.
340
00:20:25,150 --> 00:20:29,116
Oh, my God,
it's my son-in-law!
341
00:20:29,150 --> 00:20:31,000
[Fran] Oh, God, don't look!
342
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:33,116
Don't look, honey,
you can't see me!
343
00:20:33,150 --> 00:20:35,266
What happened? I got a call
from Val's mother.
344
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:38,000
They found the car.
I passed it down the road.
345
00:20:38,330 --> 00:20:39,200
You know there's a call box
right next to--
346
00:20:39,233 --> 00:20:41,200
You know what?
Let's not revisit that.
347
00:20:42,316 --> 00:20:45,400
Oh, honey, I'm so happy
that you're here.
348
00:20:45,433 --> 00:20:47,116
Oh, darling,
are you all right?
349
00:20:47,150 --> 00:20:50,330
No, wait, wait, wait!
Stop! Stay where you are!
350
00:20:50,660 --> 00:20:54,350
Remember,
you can't see me for 24 hours
before the ceremony.
351
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,233
Oh, Ma.
352
00:20:56,266 --> 00:20:58,200
What's he wearing?
353
00:20:58,233 --> 00:21:01,000
The cashmere.
He looks gorgeous.
354
00:21:01,330 --> 00:21:04,133
Oh, I love the cashmere.
355
00:21:04,166 --> 00:21:06,266
Ma, you're not wearing a bra?
356
00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:13,366
In case I die, I'm gonna
go free and happy.
357
00:21:16,383 --> 00:21:19,450
Oh, sweetie, go run over
and pull the car here,
358
00:21:19,483 --> 00:21:22,160
but whatever you do,
don't look at me.
359
00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:25,250
Darling, darling,
it's a 2-hour drive.
360
00:21:25,283 --> 00:21:27,500
How can I possibly
not look at you?
361
00:21:27,830 --> 00:21:29,216
Just keep your eyes
fixated on me.
362
00:21:29,250 --> 00:21:32,366
It'll be like a glimpse
into the future.
363
00:21:36,450 --> 00:21:40,200
Now, come here, sweetie,
And give us a hug.
364
00:21:50,116 --> 00:21:53,416
Mmm! You know,
this edible underwear
is not all that bad.
365
00:21:56,450 --> 00:21:59,283
Ma, that's not
the edible ones!
366
00:22:21,150 --> 00:22:23,133
[theme music playing]
367
00:22:39,100 --> 00:22:40,830
[theme music ends]