[rumbling]
[bell dings]
[panting]
[meow!]
[brakes screech]
Hey, mr. Wilson!
[snoring]
Mr. Wilson?
[snorts]
Poor old mr. Wilson Must be so sick.
No wonder He ain't up.
[heart beating]
Wow.
His heart sounds like Our washing machine.
Oh, no.
He's growing Extra skin.
[snorts]
His tongue's Very ugly...
And blue and spotty.
Cool.
He feels warm.
He has a temperature.
I know what you need.
You need an aspirin.
Uhhmm.
[snoring]
[gasps]
Aah!
[gasping]
[gasps]
[mr. Wilson grunting]
Don't you ever Come back!
Do you hear me?
Never!
[dog barks]
Starting part-time Will give you a chance
To ease back into it.
Managing shopping malls Can't be much More difficult
Than managing dennis.
Where have you been?
Dennis?
I was at Mr. Wilson's house,
And, boy, is he sick.
He's got a fever,
And he's burning up.
Oh, I better Call martha.
You, uh...
You didn't bother him, Did you?
Nope, But I gave him An aspirin,
And he don't like them Any better than me.
You know, You shouldn't Visit people
So early In the morning.
That's the only time I know they'll be home.
Hello, george.
Alice mitchell.
Are you feeling All right?
No, I'm not Feeling all right!
Your son just Shot an aspirin Down my throat...
I'm very sorry.
You better Talk to him!
Yes, we'll Talk to him.
When I was a child...
Uh-huh. Bye. Bye.
Bye.
Hi.
Did you Shoot an aspirin
Into mr. Wilson's Mouth?
I didn't want him To bite off my fingers
With his big fake teeth.
Those things are sharp.
George said Dennis shot an aspirin In his mouth
With a slingshot.
What slingshot?
You have A slingshot?
I'm not sure.
Give it to me.
Mr. Wilson Is very angry With you.
I thought he was sick. I was trying to help.
You go sit In the corner.
For how long?
Until you're sorry.
Good. I'm sorry now.
He can't.
I have to take him To martha wade's house.
Aah!
Margaret's house?
I didn't do anything Bad enough
To go to her house.
She's a lunatic. I'll go crazy.
She tortures me. She's mean.
She's ugly. She doesn't share!
Honey, I made An arrangement With mrs. Wade
For you to go To their house While I work.
Are you serious?
You can't spend The summer unsupervised. You're out of school.
I'll go back!
Your mother Made arrangements.
That's it.
I don't want Any arguments.
My life is Falling apart.
[rumbling]
Hello, george.
Uh, let me, uh...
Take that Off your hands.
Sorry.
Thank you.
[sniffing]
I'm, uh...
I'm, uh, sorry About this morning.
Oh, uh...
I'm not going to Mince words, Mitchell.
Your kid is Driving me nuts.
I'll talk to him again.
Maybe talk's not What he needs.
When my father Had something Important to tell me,
He told me With his belt.
That's not how I deal with my son.
However you're Dealing with him,
He hasn't learned It's not good manners
To shoot an aspirin Down a fella's throat.
Oh, mr. Wilson, He's 5.
When I was 5, I had respect.
You're probably A pretty exceptional boy.
1n 1925, I was not the exception.
I was the rule.
I'll make sure Dennis doesn't Come by anymore.
Careful how you say it.
I don't want The neighborhood
To think I'm a child-hater.
I'm a reasonable man Who expects Reasonable treatment
From his neighbors And their children.
I was with The post office For 43 1/2 years.
Yeah, I'm running A little late.
I'll come by after work,
And we can continue The conversation.
There's nothing To continue.
I've said my piece.
The boy cannot Come over here
Unless He behaves himself.
He won't be over.
Now, don't make me out To be a grump.
I didn't say never. I said--
I really have to go.
Well...
Now, don't...
[engine starts]
Have a good day.
He's out Of school now.
He can't spend all His free time here.
I'm not the bad guy In this, mitchell.
I'm the victim!
George...
Who were you Shouting at?
Mitchell, And I wasn't shouting.
I was making my point.
It's not right that That youngster of his
Can run wild, Doing as he pleases
Without regard To people or property.
He's only a boy, George.
He'll knot my rope Once too often.
I can't stand that kid.
He's a menace.
Come in And have your breakfast.
We're due At the garden club At 9:00.
Today's An important day for me,
And I'm already In a lather Because of that kid.
I don't know If I'll enjoy My moment of triumph.
Now, now, Don't get your hopes up.
There are lots Of other gardens In town
Just as nice as yours.
Please. I'm a shoo-in.
Who else has A night-blooming Mock orchid
Flowering this year?
It's an awfully Homely looking plant, George.
Hang the looks Of the thing!
It opens Before your eyes
In the light Of the full moon.
It's a marvel, martha.
40 years To mature and blossom.
The flower Opens and withers
In a matter of moments.
There isn't A gardener in town Who has a plant
That requires A 40-year investment
For 10 seconds Of splendor.
[laughing]
How do you feel About me working?
A lot of moms work.
The best I could do Finding someone To watch you
Is to make An arrangement With mrs. Wade.
What about joey?
Did you think About him?
What about If he comes over?
He'll think I moved.
Joey's mother made plans With mrs. Wade Just like I did.
Joey's at Margaret's house.
Do it.
I can make you.
How?
I'll slug you back.
You can't hit a girl.
I can, too.
I'll scream So awfully bloody Deadly horrible,
My mom will think You tried to Murder me.
I'll tell her you did, And she'll believe it,
Because Boys are like that And girls aren't.
That really stinks.
Mush your lips together,
And let's get this Over with.
Close your eyes.
Kiss me.
All right.
Let's go.
Dennis, come on.
You're acting Like a baby.
Get up...
Right this instant.
Don't you dare Embarrass me.
Fine.
I'll drag you inside.
[margaret] you guys Are the boring ones.
There's lots to do.
Oh, really?
Like what?
We could practice Singing songs...
Or put on a play...
Or a puppet show.
We could Bury you alive.
I could Pound your face.
It doesn't matter Anyways, margaret.
We're going to Be leaving soon,
And we have work to do.
We're going to Make a fort.
You can't leave Unless I go with you,
Or I'll tell on you.
Tough kitty paws. I'm going.
Climb down from there.
I'll get my purse.
This thing's been here Our whole life
And we never knew it.
Do you think anybody Lives in it?
Just squirrels And birds.
It looks Kind of junky.
We'll fix it up.
Oh, good.
I'll be the decorator.
We'll add A baby room
And a powder room For company.
Forts don't have Powder rooms.
Oh, really?
Where do The soldiers' wives go To freshen up?
Soldiers Don't have wives, Stupid.
Don't call me stupid, Baby rump kisser.
It won't be a fort.
It'll be a house,
A love nest.
Let's go up
And see what color carpet We should get.
Do forts got carpet?
Nope.
Forts don't Got carpet!
They do now, Hot lips.
The selection, Uh, committee
Has informed Mrs. Butterwell and I
That this summer's Floraganza will be held
In the garden of, uh...
Can you read it here?
Uh...
Here, uh...
You take these And I'll take those.
Let me have them.
Here we go.
Uh, the garden, Um, uh...
George wilson. George wilson.
[applause]
1 mississippi,
2 mississippi,
3 mississippi,
4 mississippi,
5 mississippi,
6 mississippi,
7 mississippi,
8 mississippi,
9 mississippi.
Gunther...
Are you watching Where everybody goes?
Yep.
Get down.
Girls...
[grunts]
Let's go.
Ahh...
You know, I was unbeatable
At hide-and-seek.
Hiding or seeking?
Both. I had a nose For hiding places.
I wouldn't think You'd be much good At hiding.
Why not?
Weren't you A fat boy?
I was husky.
Ready or not, Here I come.
He's coming!
I see joey and mike!
Run, mikey!
He's cheating.
What are you doing?
Dennis is cheating.
He's using The beckman kid As a spy.
Oh, leave them alone, George.
I'm going to Even things up.
Gunther!
Gunther,
I'm just talking To your daddy
On the telephone.
He's going to The ice cream store.
You can go, too.
Hurry up and go home.
Now it's fair.
[laughs]
Ahh...
You lied To a toddler, George.
Well, think How disappointed He's going to be
When he gets home.
He better Get used to it.
Disappointment's Going to be
A big part Of his life.
He's a foot short For his age, And he's cross-eyed.
[train whistle blows]
Aghh.
Oomph.
Oh, ain't that A pretty sight?
I bet they don't even Lock their doors.
I know you all know
There's a toy store On the first level,
But my suggestion Is this--
You give the toy store Six months free rent
To move up To the third level.
See...
When I go to the mall With my little boy,
We can't get out
Unless we visit The toy store.
He doesn't get anything
Unless it's A special occasion,
But like every kid, He wants to look around.
Could you spare us The family anecdotes, Please?
There's always A lot of traffic
In toy stores.
If people have to go up To the third level
To visit the toy store,
They have to go through
Two other levels To get there.
That's apparent To anyone with children.
You have to assume, maybe, That potential tenants
Might have kids And--and would know that.
It might entice them To take up space
In the other levels.
That's all I'm saying.
We could've carried up A lot more stuff
If you didn't Have to bring
That idiotic doll And all her junk.
She's not idiotic.
She's an important Training tool.
You know Why men are so lousy
When it comes to Taking care of babies?
They have Better things to do.
Like what,
Play golf And drink beer?
No.
Like hunting, Having wars,
Driving cars, Shaving,
Cleaning fish.
You can do that?
Me?
Margaret.
Oh, o.K.
If you didn't Have women,
You wouldn't have babies,
Which means You wouldn't have people.
If you didn't have men,
Who'd drive the ladies To the hospital?
The most Important thing is,
They marry the women,
Then the women Can go down And get the baby.
The baby is In her stomach.
She has to Get it installed.
Her stomach just isn't Filled up with babies.
Who installs them?
A minister And a doctor.
How? How?
She wants to know how?
[laughing]
Tell me, dennis.
How?
The bellybutton. It opens up.
How come Men have them?
So they don't look weird In bathing suits.
O.K.
On the count of 3,
Move your hand.
1...
2...
3!
[dennis] o.K.
This time On the count of 4.
1...
2...
3...
4!
O.K., now, joey, You hold the hammer,
And, margaret, You hold the nail.
We did A pretty good job.
How about A little paint?
Couldn't hurt.
You got any?
My dad does.
Give me my doll, You jerk!
I don't have it!
Aah!
Give it to me, Dennis!
I didn't Take your doll.
Well, it's not here. Somebody took it.
Not us.
We've been with you.
You guys...
Swear you didn't Take it?
Yep.
[gasps]
I've been robbed.
You guys Don't understand.
Baby louise is A very expensive antique.
[dennis] Nobody robbed Your doll, margaret.
Maybe a bear ate it.
What?
[joey] Yeah. There's no robbers In our town.
[humming]
[exhales]
What you eating there, Sport?
Hmm?
A apple.
Ahh.
Mmm, mmm, mmm, Mmm, mmm.
[hums]
[rumbling]
Unh.
Hmm...
Whoops.
Hi, mr. Mitchell.
Hello, polly. Come on in.
What's The helmet for?
My girlfriend used to Babysit for dennis.
She said bring a helmet And wear pants.
Aah!
[humming]
Uh-oh!
Hey. I'm, uh, I'm looking For polly.
You're mickey?
Yeah.
She's up In my mom's bathroom
Using The armpit perfume.
She's says You're such a stud,
She gets nervous And sweats a lot.
Cool.
Come on in.
Ooh.
Tastes funny.
Tastes like paint.
And wood.
I'll make us Some sandwiches.
"Do not cry, Little locomotive,
"Said old engine 99 To hoo-huf-huffy.
"One day When you grow up, You will realize
"That all trains Are impotent--important...
Even little mail trains."
How--how can A train grow?
He eats all his coal
And gets plenty Of sleep.
No, like, What's the point Of reading lies?
It teaches kids To eat all their food
And go to bed When they're supposed to
And not cry when mean Cabooses and boxcars
Make fun of them.
This is so stupid, man.
Are you ready To go to bed yet?
I'm not even Wrinkled up yet.
Keep reading.
"I will never be Big enug
To pull anything But silly old mail cars,
Sobed huffy."
"Sob...
"Sob-bed...
So-bob-ed huf-- So-bob-ed huffy."
[mr. Wilson] Ahem.
Where are you going?
Shh.
I'm going to investigate Mitchell's garage.
Dennis has been Fooling around With paint,
And I'm going to Prove it.
Aren't you taking this A bit far, george?
He's only a boy.
[groaning]
[giggles]
[ding dong]
[giggles]
Kids.
Oh!
Ah!
Oh, g.D. Wading pool!
[honk]
[ding dong]
Ow!
Oh.
That's it.
[whistling]
[vacuum turns on]
Gee, I guess Those kids took off.
Ohh!
Agghh.
Ooh.
Aah.
I got him this time.
Mitchell can't deny it.
[crack]
[moaning]
Aah!
Sorry. Uh, good night.
He's only a boy, huh?
Hi, mrs. Wilson!
Is mr. Wilson up yet?
Not yet, dear.
How long do you think He's going to sleep?
Not much longer. He's having his picture Taken this morning.
For what?
He's being honored For his garden.
Do you think He'll get mad If I run upstairs?
What do you want To go upstairs for?
I made him
An "I'm sorry I shot paint On your chicken" card.
That's very nice, Dennis.
I'm kind of busy today,
So I won't have a chance To give it to him.
I have to go To margaret's house
'cause We're getting poor,
And mom's Got a job now.
Could I leave it by His whisker cutter?
That's where I leave my dad's "Sorry" cards.
And it's a good time To say you're sorry,
'cause grown-up guys Are happy
When they wake up.
My dad's so happy,
He whistles When he goes To the bathroom.
The only time He isn't happy Is sunday morning
When he and mom Wrestle.
They like To be alone When they do that
'cause they take off Their shirts and Make funny noises.
Uh, you can go up
As long as you promise Not to disturb mr. Wilson.
I promise.
You know what, Mrs. Wilson?
What?
You're the nicest Old gal on the block.
[snores]
Hello.
My name is mr...
Dennis.
I'm the doctor.
Open up and say, "Ahh."
Ahh!
Uh-oh.
[whimpers]
H-hello!
[doorbell chimes]
M-mr. Wilson!
George.
Are you ready?
The photographer's here.
I--I got a 9:30, You know, ma'am.
Yeah, he'll be out Any second.
Sorry.
George?
That looks fine, Martha.
Leave it alone.
Martha, step back.
You're in the picture.
Very good.
Now...
Smile.
Wha--
Can't get me!
Yeah, right!
O.K., 1...
2...
3!
Hey, you!
Yeah, you.
Come here.
Don't believe I've seen you Around here before.
Maybe that's 'cause I ain't never been Around here.
What are you up to, Buddy?
What's it to you?
Now, look, I run a nice, Clean town here,
And I don't want Any trouble.
So my advice to you
Is just Follow the sun On out of here.
The reason I ain't moving on
Is 'cause you stopped To give me the breeze.
[click click]
If you put The toy store On the third level,
People have to go Through two other Levels to get there,
And...Mm-hmm.
Can I call you back?
Hi, mom.
Good morning.
I hear you're Trying to beg off The oklahoma city trip.
I asked that It be rescheduled.
Have a cub scout meeting Or something?
My husband has a trip At the same time.
His was scheduled Before mine.
So...If you travel At the same time,
There's no one To watch your kid. That's the problem?
It's not a problem Per se.
Good. Because If you want to Blow off your trip,
I'm the one Who has to cover For you.
And I have plans I can't break.
I don't have kids, But, uh...
I do have a life.
I'm sorry.
I'm just not going to Be able to help you.
God.
O.K.
Who do we call first?
Well, let's start With the as.
Vicki?
You call. No, you call.
[quack quack]
Hello?
Hi.
Hi. This is, uh...
Uh, mrs. Mitchell.
* don't hang up *
* no, no *
* oh, don't You do it, now *
* don't hang up *
* no, no *
Hi. Alice mitchell.
* don't hang up Like you always do... *
Hi. Alice mitchell.
No.
* I'll explain The facts to you *
* don't hang up *
Hi. This is Henry mitchell.
* give me the chance Or our romance is through *
Hi. This is Henry mitchell.
* don't hang up *
* no, no *
* oh, don't You do it, now *
* don't hang up *
* no, no *
* I took a walk With mary lou *
* we went around To visit sue *
* to ask some boys I never knew... **
You call. You call.
Hey, mr. Wilson!
I'm sleeping At your joint!
I brought you Some grasshoppers.
Ah, you Shouldn't have.
I'll take them, dear.
[alice] Thank you so much, Martha. George.
It's our pleasure.
You saved our lives.
Save two, lose one.
I'll call you Just as soon As I arrive.
Do you have Our number?
No, don't worry About a thing.
I brought My own pillow
So I don't Get my spit All over yours.
[martha] Thank you, dear.
Honey...
You be A good boy, o.K.?
Hey. You mind Your manners
And listen To mr. And Mrs. Wilson.
Yep.
O.K.
Thanks again.
Thank you.
Honey.
Bye-bye.
Bring me Something good!
[alice] Bye, sweetheart!
[henry] Bye, dennis!
George.
Take dennis' suitcase up To the guest room, please.
He's got arms.
Don't start, dear.
You know, mr. Wilson,
You know why I'm not crying?
'cause if I won't be Around my mom and dad,
The only other person I want to be around Is you.
I can't tell you How deeply moved I am.
[whimpers]
[tap]
Don't do that, please.
What?
The cord.
Stop that tapping.
Gosh. There's Not a lot to do Around the house
When it's Raining out.
Want to play cards?
No.
Do you want to put on Your old navy suit
And play war?
Mmm...
Is that pirate's gold?
No.
Is it real valuable?
Yes.
Is that why you keep it In your safe?
Uh-huh.
How come that safe Looks like books?
How come you ask So many questions?
I've only been around For five years.
There's a lot of stuff I don't know.
Hmm...
The safe Looks like books
So that if a thief Does come in,
He won't Recognize it.
Is the thief a robber?
Yes.
Have you ever Had a robber here?
No.
What's the combination To your lock?
Hah!
You're the last person In the world
I'd tell that to.
You got it wrote down Someplace?
It's in my head.
What's that mean?
It means I know it. I remember it.
What if you forget it?
I won't forget it. It's a familiar number.
I won't forget it.
What's that mean?
It means it's a number That I use all the time,
So I won't forget it.
I use it all the time.
Bet I know what it is.
I doubt that.
Bet it's your address.
[thunder]
Know how I know?
My friend's got a lock On his bike,
And he uses his address For the combination
So he don't forget.
You're just as smart As him.
He.
You got everything Figured out,
Don't you, mr. Wilson?
Yeah, but I haven't Figured out yet
How to get my work done With you in the house.
[sighs]
That's a tough one.
* she'll be comin' 'round the mountain When she comes *
* when she comes *
* comin' 'round The mountain *
* she'll be comin' 'round the mountain *
* she'll be comin' 'round the mountain When she comes... *
Are you wrinkled Enough yet, dennis?
Yep.
Do you want me To help you out?
Not unless you want to See what the stork saw.
* she'll be comin' 'round the mountain *
* she'll be comin' 'round the mountain When she comes **
[humming]
Cool!
Old faithful!
[making Machine gun sounds]
Hmm...
How old is this bed?
Uh, it belonged To my mother.
What's she sleeping on?
She's been gone For many years, dennis.
On business?
No. She's in heaven.
Oh. There's an awful lot Of people in heaven,
Especially old people.
[whistling]
How about if I recite
My favorite poem When I was your age?
Is it about Flowers and lambs?
No.
O.K.
Wynken, blynken, And nod one night
Sailed off In a wooden shoe.
Sailed on a river Of crystal light
Into a sea of dew.
"Where are you going, And what do you wish?"
The old moon Asked the three.
"We have come to fish For the herring fish
"That live In this beautiful sea.
Nets of silver and gold Have we,"
Said wynken, Blynken, and nod.
Wynken and blynken Are two little eyes,
And nod is A little head,
And the wooden shoe That sailed the skies
Is a wee one's Trundle bed.
Now shut your eyes While mother sings
Of wonderful sights That be,
And you shall see The beautiful things,
As you rock In the misty sea,
Where the old shoe rocked The fishermen three--
Wynken...
Blynken...
And nod.
[whistling]
Aah!
Ooh...
New pajamas. God bless him.
Aah!
Poor thing. I wish He'd get that hernia fixed.
Aah!
[dog howling]
Aah!
[muffled screaming]
[ruff ruff]
[ruff]
[ruff ruff ruff]
[ruff]
[dog barking]
George, Are you sleeping?
I was until You started yakking.
I'm sorry.
Was dennis In our bathroom?
Yes.
I think the little rat
Put mouthwash In my nasal spray
And toilet cleanser In my mouthwash.
Why would he Do something like that?
Must you ask?
[ruff ruff]
Ruff! Shh! Be quiet.
[ruff]
I recited a poem For dennis tonight
That my mother Used to recite to me.
I remembered every word.
In some tiny measure, My mother would be proud.
I passed something on.
It's 10:00, martha.
Don't start With the regrets.
I would have been A good mother.
And I would have made A swell fireman.
Where are you going?
To make myself A cup of tea.
I didn't decree that we Wouldn't have children, Martha.
It was out of Both our hands.
This isn't about Having children
Or not having children, George.
You miss the point.
It's about...My...
Feeling something Very good...
And not being able To tell you about it.
Martha?
I didn't mean To hurt you.
I'm not terribly good With feelings and emotions.
There are A lot of subjects
I'd rather not bring up,
Let alone discuss.
I would have liked a son... Or a daughter.
You couldn't fire The fatherly feelings in me...
Because they're not there.
But that doesn't mean
My feelings for you Have gone cold.
That'll never happen.
You got all the love I have.
Remember this?
Je t'aime.
Je t'adore,
Mon petite cherie.
George.
[mr. Wilson] Get out of here!
[slam]
* oh, whatcha know, joe? *
What are you Looking for now?
Garden lanterns.
Holy smokes. You got to be pretty brave
To ride on a tiger In your underpants.
Put that away.
That's not for kids.
* well, I don't know, Laddie *
* whatcha know, joe? *
* ain't I happy? *
* whatcha know, joe? *
* I ain't foolin' *
* I need schoolin' *
* I don't know *
* mama tried To tell me so *
[sniffs]
* mama wouldn't Let me go *
[whistling]
* so, whatcha know, joe? *
* I just can't figure *
* whatcha know, joe? *
* I don't dig ya *
* whatcha know, joe? *
* hey, stop Your squawkin' *
* just ain't talkin' *
* 'cause I don't know *
* whatcha know, joe? **
[scratch]
Martha,
Where are The g.D. Garden lanterns?
Aah!
Eyaah!
I think I better Go outside and play.
[thunder]
[ring]
Hello.
Hello, martha.
It's alice.
I'm still in oklahoma.
Oh, dear.
Yeah. There's A terrible storm.
My flight's Been canceled.
Till the weather clears,
I don't know What's going to happen.
[thunder]
I know your party's tonight. I feel just terrible.
I don't know What to do.
Don't worry About it.
You get home When you can.
We'll be Just fine here.
What's george Going to say?
[thunder]
Over my dead body!
This is The crowning moment Of my retired life.
I'm not throwing it away For some ninny
Who can't Get her keister To the airport.
George wilson,
You've no right To insult alice.
She can't help The weather.
It's just bad luck.
It's no one's fault.
A tragedy Of this magnitude
Has to be somebody's Fault, martha.
It isn't a tragedy.
A little boy's Going to join us For a party.
If you want to Forsake your neighbors When they need help,
You do it alone.
Why is it When everyone else
Feasts on The pleasures of life,
I get the indigestion?
Because you're An old grump.
We did a pretty good job.
Uh-huh.
Now we can order furniture And major appliances.
Just hold on, sal.
Oh, my god, Hold it.
George.
Martha.
Well, dennis,
Your mother Didn't arrive.
Nope.
Hi, george.
This is an important Event for me, dennis.
I know.
I don't want Any nonsense.
You mind whatever Manners you have
And don't make A pest of yourself.
Don't embarrass me.
O.K.
Cheek pinchers.
Look at the cute Little boy.
Oh, look at this.
Oh, isn't he cute?
Are you Our little host?
Oh, sugar!
The party's In the back.
Ladies, girls,
The party's In the back.
Thank you very much.
It's just this way. Thank you.
Don't embarrass me.
Attention, everyone.
Gather over here, Please,
And have a seat.
It's time to begin The ceremony.
All right, members, Don't be timid.
Plenty of seats Down front.
Either side, Either side.
On behalf of The garden club...
Selection committee...
We would like To present...
George wilson.
With this beautiful, Uh...
What's that say?
"Plague"? What Does that mean?
Let me have Your glasses.
No, no.
[electric motor Starts]
Oh. Plaque.
Come on up, george.
[applause]
Thank you, everyone. Thank you.
I am honored.
I will cherish this Forever.
40 years ago, When I started this garden,
I planted a seed.
From that tiny seed
Grew this grand plant.
Tonight, for the first And only time
In its entire life,
It will blossom.
As we await This glorious moment,
Martha and I invite you To have some dessert And coffee with us.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Michelle, would you Bring the coffee?
What's that?
Now, george...
Now, don't start, George.
Uh...
Michelle, could you Get somebody
To come And clear this away?
I made a mistake?
[sighs]
Ohh. Ooh. Ohh.
Ohh...
[clink]
[gasps]
Ahh! Ohh! Ohh!
Ahh! Ooh!
Mr. Wilson!
What? What?
Somebody robbed Your house!
Uhh...
40 years down the drain.
Eyaah!
You're a pest,
A menace,
A selfish, Spoiled little boy,
And I've No use for you.
You took Something from me
That I can Never get back,
Something that Means more to me Than you ever will.
You understand?
I don't want To see you.
I don't want To know you.
Get out of my way.
I'm sorry, mr. Wilson.
All right, everybody, Party's over.
Go on home.
I'm sorry.
[sniffling]
Martha!
Oh, my god.
Where's dennis?
[hooting]
[gasps]
[gulp]
So joey hasn't Seen him all night?
Uh-huh.
O.K.
If he shows up, Please call me.
Yeah, bye.
Did you call The wades?
Yes, but that's The last place He'd go.
Don't you ever Come back here again!
He's a menace.
Turn that off!
Don't make a pest Of yourself,
And don't embarrass me.
I don't want To know you.
I don't want To see you.
Get out of my way.
These woods are Pretty scary At night.
I'm sure glad I ran into A grownup.
It'll work out Real nice.
You can be My hostage.
Cool!
I can only be Your hostage Till tomorrow.
I have church In the morning.
[laughing]
You ain't Going to church.
You and me are catching The midnight train Out of here.
Really?
We'd better stop At my house first
To tell My mom and dad,
Or else They'll worry.
I have to get Clean underwear And my camera,
And I have to Tell my parents To feed my fish--
Some sunblock And vitamins
And stuff To play with On the train.
Put a cork in it. You're giving me A headache.
I don't have A cork.
Shut your mouth.
I can't 'cause My nose is stuffy.
If I shut my mouth, I can't breathe good.
Then keep Your mouth open,
But don't talk.
Where do you Put the cork
When you put A cork in it?
Didn't I ask you To shut your yap?
What's a yap?
It's your mouth.
I can't shut my mouth 'cause my nose Is stuffy.
Shut up!
I have One more question.
What?
What does a hostage Have to do?
Nothing.
How come You need one?
In case The cops show up.
Do I get To use a gun?
You get to stand In front of me
In case the cops Use a gun.
I've got a slingshot.
Swell.
I'm a real good shot. You want to see?
Excuse me, mister.
Do you want to see?
Mister, can you watch me For a minute?
I'll tell you When to look.
Look!
Your fire's Getting puny.
When my dad Makes a fire And it gets puny,
He wiggles it around And it gets bigger.
Uhh. Ohh.
Aah!
Wha-ah-aah!
Whoa!
Dennis!
I'm sorry You're not having
A very fun Camping trip.
Nobody shoots a marble At my head
And sets my pants On fire.
That was an accident.
There ain't going to be No more accidents.
Turn around!
You're doing it wrong.
Get lost.
I tied up Lots of guys In my life.
You never tied up A 5-year-old.
I'll just get out.
I'll make this rope so tight, You won't be able to move.
The rope's too big, And my legs Are too small.
There's only One way to do it.
Lots of people have Tried to tie me up,
But it doesn't work.
But you Try your way.
I'll just get out,
And you'll have To keep doing it.
What do you do Different?
First you got to tie up Each leg by itself,
Then you tie them together.
No matter how much I wiggle, I can't ever get out.
If you really don't want me To move at all...
Bend down.
[bones crack]
You can't get out of that At all, right?
Nope.
You tie me up Like that,
No matter How much I try, I can't ever get out.
Thanks.
Now let me loose.
O.K.
Get the handcuff key.
Where is it?
It's on my bag.
Ohh!
Oops.
What?
Dennis!
I'm going to Kill you, kid.
How? You can't even move. Open up.
I ain't hungry!
It's the only way To get the key.
You can't waste food.
Plus you have To eat your dinner.
Come on, come on, Come on, come on.
Come on.
It's coming.
Come on, come on.
No!
Ulp!
Aah!
Too hot?
Uh-oh.
You must've Swallowed it.
You little worm.
I swallowed My allowance once
And had to wait A whole night To get it back.
[passes gas]
Dennis!
[hoo hoo hoo]
Firewood!
Bombs away!
[snores]
What a little lamb.
He must be exhausted.
I better cover him up
So he doesn't catch His death of cold.
There we go.
Hmm.
[snoring]
What's he got a purse for?
Holy smokes!
He's rich!
[sniffs]
Yipes!
Aah!
Don't worry, mister!
I got it!
Aah!
I got it!
Aah!
Ooh.
Dennis!
Dennis mitchell!
Dennis!
Mitchell!
Dennis!
I've lost the only man I ever loved.
Aah!
I'll get you Out of there!
You shouldn't Jump in a river With handcuffs on,
For gosh sakes!
You could drown!
Hold on. I'm coming, I'm coming.
Hey, mister!
Good thing I know A lot about ropes, huh?
Yes, kid!
Ah, that's my boy!
Mr. Wilson taught me How to tie knots.
When I get you out, I'm going to bed.
I'm beat.
It must be All the fresh air.
Hold on. I'm coming.
There you go.
Now just Pull yourself in.
[coins drop]
Hmm.
[train whistle]
This is Mr. Wilson's gold.
How come you got it?
I stole it.
You're a robber?
I'm a thief.
Uh-oh.
Say your prayers, Little rat!
I can't. I didn't Take my bath yet.
Have it your own way.
Uhh.
Aah!
Ooh.
Aah!
[bell rings]
[cans clanking]
Martha!
Mitchell!
[clanking]
Hey, mr. Wilson!
[tires screech]
Ohh!
Guess what.
What?
I got Your gold back.
Dennis!
Mom! Dad!
Oh, sweetheart!
Thank god you're o.K.
[siren]
Help.
This is my buddy.
This is my pal.
Ohh! Ow!
Wait a minute.
You can tell everybody In the big house
You've met Our dennis mitchell.
All right. Let's wrap it up.
Mister.
You forgot something.
[kid] Dennis!
O.K. We're out of here.
See you later!
Bye!
See ya!
* na na na na na **
So guess what. I won't have to do Any more traveling.
Oh, that's nice.
They want me to stay With the project here.
They agreed to start A day-care center.
I can take dennis To work.
That's ridiculous!
What the heck's he Going to do all day?
Don't be foolish.
We're next door. We can watch him.
Of course.
We'd love to.
No. No.
I don't think...
You have to remember
Back to all the times Dennis upset you.
It's a new ballgame. I've learned some things.
Kids are kids.
You have to play By their rules.
If you can't do that, You're headed for trouble.
You have to Roll with the punches.
You have to Expect the unexpected.
Aah!
Aren't you supposed to Be in the day-care area
With The other children?
That's where I was, But I had to leave
'cause the lady that Watches all the kids
Said if she Had to look at me For five more seconds,
She'd jump Out the window.
Hmm.
She's a pretty nice lady,
So I wouldn't want her To do that.
Can I push the button?
No, because you don't know Which button to push.
It's this one.
Uh-oh.
Aah!
I'm going to get That little kid.
Aah!
Captioning made possible by Warner bros.
Captioning performed by The national captioning Institute, inc.
Captions copyright 1993 Warner bros.