1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:46,003 [TRAIN HORN HONKS] 4 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,147 [HORNS HONKING] 5 00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:11,070 [BELLS TOLLING] 6 00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:47,940 SNYDER: Mr. Gustafson, I have to talk to you. 7 00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:55,030 Mr. Gustafson, will you answer the door, please? 8 00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:56,865 I know you're in there. 9 00:01:58,159 --> 00:02:02,788 It's no use pretending this isn't happening, Mr. Gustafson. 10 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:07,334 I can't keep coming back here every couple of days. 11 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,671 You have to talk to me. 12 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:16,343 Mr. Gustafson, I'm just trying to help you. 13 00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:18,804 Come on, answer the door. 14 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,889 I'm just gonna keep knocking. 15 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:24,268 I'm gonna keep ringing the bell, so you might as well answer the door. 16 00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,228 [DOORBELL RINGING] 17 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,481 We know you're in there. 18 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:33,735 Think of the neighbors, Mr. Gustafson. 19 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:38,323 There's a letter for you, Mr. Gustafson. 20 00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:43,245 I suggest you read it. 21 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:48,375 - Morning, dickhead. - Hello, moron. 22 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,043 What are you, uh... 23 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,920 Never mind. Just forget it. 24 00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:55,257 - Who's the guy yakking at your door? - Mind your own business. 25 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,676 [MOCKING TONE] "Mind your own business." 26 00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,929 - Tie your shoelace. You'll fall. - Aw, shut up. 27 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,849 We're having a heat wave here. 28 00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:08,145 [SINGING "HEAT WAVE"] 29 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:15,110 Somebody moving into the old Clickner place. 30 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,530 [MOVERS CHATTERING] 31 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:21,408 - Gee, you picked up on that, Sherlock. SNYDER: Excuse me. 32 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:24,077 I wonder if you gentlemen could tell me... 33 00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:26,580 ...uh, where I could find Mr. Gustafson? 34 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:28,081 No. Gustafson? No, no, sorry. 35 00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:30,626 - Mr. John Gustafson? - That's right. 36 00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:34,254 [MAX MUTTERING] 37 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,758 You mean the lowlife, ass-wipe... 38 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,302 ...egg-sucker John Gustafson? - Oh. 39 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:41,720 Have you seen him? 40 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,556 Man's crazy. Loco. 41 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:48,101 Always hanging out around those kinky strip bars. 42 00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:50,395 - What? - Where men take their clothes off. 43 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:51,980 Oh, for God's sake. 44 00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,316 That's, of course, if he's taken his medication. 45 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,151 Medication? 46 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,320 Yes. Without it, he could be anywhere. 47 00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,739 Wandering around, talking to the trees. 48 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:04,201 Believe me, this man is a menace. He's always drinking, starting fights. 49 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,078 Isn't that right? 50 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,665 - But have you seen him? - No, sorry. 51 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:13,001 I think, perhaps... 52 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,255 Um, no. 53 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,590 - No. No. - No. 54 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,634 If you see him... 55 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:23,095 ...would you give him this and tell him he must contact... 56 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,597 ...Mr. Snyder as soon as possible. - Yes. Uh-huh. Okay. 57 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,808 - Schneider. - Snyder. 58 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,727 That's me. It's important. 59 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,982 Important? Yes, sir. We'll tell him when we see him. 60 00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:36,400 [MAX LAUGHS] 61 00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:37,859 [JOHN LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY] 62 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:40,195 [GRUNTS] 63 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,114 - Oops. - Oh, look out! 64 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,448 Watch out for that ice there. 65 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,575 Slippery. Very slippery. 66 00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:46,868 Right. 67 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,372 Holy moly. 68 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,833 [MOVERS CHATTERING] 69 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,130 Jesus. 70 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,218 [HORN HONKS] 71 00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:09,766 A men's strip joint? 72 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:11,560 [CHUCKLING] 73 00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:14,479 Idiot. 74 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,067 [JOHN GRUNTS] 75 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,342 Thirty days. 76 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,303 That's just great. 77 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,270 [PLAYING SOFT MUSIC] 78 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,451 MAN [ON TV]: Remington MicroScreen Rechargeable Shaver so much... 79 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,244 ...I bought the company. 80 00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:13,955 It shaves as close as a blade, or I'll give you your money back. 81 00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:17,376 The first microscreen is so thin it shaves incredibly close. 82 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:20,504 The second even closer. Remington's American... 83 00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:24,424 You should have seen Mrs. Carlson's face when he said, "It's a keeper." 84 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:27,636 Oh, cold enough for you? Brr! 85 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,097 Oh, shut up, fat-ass. 86 00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:34,142 It's not even Thanksgiving, and here we are enjoying our lovely fall weather. 87 00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:37,145 Six inches of snow on the ground already... 88 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:40,148 ...with traveler's advisories in effect throughout our area tonight... 89 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:43,610 ...you'd be advised to stay inside and have yourself... 90 00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,612 ...a warm, home-cooked meal. 91 00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:50,200 How'd you like a clue for what's coming up this week? 92 00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:53,286 It's snow, snow, and more snow. 93 00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:56,665 We've got snow coming into our area all week long. 94 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:59,126 Come Sunday afternoon, another cold front... 95 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,273 [MOTOR REVVING OUTSIDE] 96 00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:27,112 [DOG BARKING OUTSIDE] 97 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,698 [REVVING CONTINUES] 98 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,366 [GRUNTS] 99 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:39,499 What the hell? 100 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,544 [REVVING CONTINUES] 101 00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:24,336 Holy moly. 102 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,010 Oh, my God. 103 00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:42,395 [WHISTLES SOFTLY] 104 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,487 MOVER 1: Got it. MOVER 2: There we are. 105 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,113 MOVER 3: This up front? MOVER 4: Yeah. 106 00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,449 [SAW BUZZING] 107 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:58,787 [JOHN LAUGHS] 108 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:01,957 You're still using that beat-up piece of firewood? 109 00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:07,087 The Green Hornet's caught more fish than you've lied about, Gustafson. 110 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,089 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 111 00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,007 - You see her? - Huh? 112 00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:13,885 Drives pretty fast on that snowmobile. 113 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,638 - Pretty damn fast. - Yeah. 114 00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:19,599 Did you hear about Eddie Hicks? 115 00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,768 Hypothermia's a bitch. 116 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,979 Not quick like a stroke. 117 00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:27,566 A stroke is no damn good. You could end up like a vegetable. 118 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,651 Give me a cardiac any day. 119 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,486 MAX: You know what Jacob said? 120 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:36,157 Jacob said that old Billy Hinshel was killed in a car crash. 121 00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:38,785 Head-on collision with a freight truck. 122 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:41,830 Cleared his car straight over the bridge into the Mississippi. 123 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,456 Lucky bastard. 124 00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,292 You bet. 125 00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:47,502 Hey, how is he anyway? 126 00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:50,297 He's dead. Died on impact. 127 00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:52,841 Jacob, moron. Jacob. 128 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,176 Oh, ah, he's fine. 129 00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,262 Doing real good. Real busy and everything. 130 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,514 But he promised to come over for Thanksgiving. 131 00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,182 Is he really gonna run for mayor? 132 00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:04,978 - Make a damn fine mayor, too. - Good thing he's his mother's son. 133 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,606 If he looked like you, he'd never get on the ballot. 134 00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,441 Eat my shorts. 135 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,652 MOVER: Morning, Mrs. Truax. ARIEL: Morning, how you doing? 136 00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:14,195 MAX: Holy moly. 137 00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,617 MOVER: Watch your step, ma'am. ARIEL: Thank you. 138 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,917 [JEEP ENGINE STARTS] 139 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,552 Jesus Quincy Adams. 140 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,554 - Ha, ha. MAX: Hmm... 141 00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:49,022 [DOG BARKING] 142 00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:51,900 [DOOR CHIMES] 143 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,235 I hit the cans again. 144 00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:55,612 I heard. 145 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,405 How is the Grinch today? 146 00:10:57,573 --> 00:11:01,034 Ain't got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. 147 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,952 CHUCK: Ha, ha. Can I get you something? 148 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,538 Yeah, I need a six-pack of Schmidt and I'm out of bait. 149 00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:09,584 - Shiners or wax worms? - I can't afford shiners. Give me wax worms. 150 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,211 Wax worms are 75 cents. 151 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:16,174 75 cents? Crime in Italy. Chuck, we're talking about worms, not caviar. 152 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:19,094 You go through that every time. 153 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:24,099 Where are you gonna get worms this time of year? It's supply and demand. 154 00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:26,893 You could retire in Florida just from selling me worms. 155 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:31,106 - And throw the beefjerky in too. - That's $5 for the beer and the worms. 156 00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:33,733 Now you know your old gut can't handle no jerky. 157 00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:35,777 God... 158 00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,279 Hey, is Pop out there at the shanty? 159 00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:40,407 Always. 160 00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:42,117 Uh-huh. And the moron? 161 00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:44,953 There's lots of ice out there, Gustafson. 162 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,038 Should be room enough for the both of you. 163 00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,958 JOHN [IN MOCKING TONE]: "Lots of ice out there, Gustafson." 164 00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,793 Mm-mm-mm. 165 00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:19,946 [HORN HONKING] 166 00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,867 - Hi, Dad. GRANDPA: Hi, hi. 167 00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:25,076 Any luck today? 168 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,954 How the hell should I know? I just got here. 169 00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:31,458 JOHN: Oh. - Say, Mel, she came by the other day... 170 00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:34,002 ...and said that you'd been snapping. JOHN: Oh. 171 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:38,339 - Like a damned catfish. - Well, I've had a lot on my mind lately. 172 00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,425 I'll tell you what's on my mind. 173 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:44,512 It's butt-cold out here and I'm fresh out of beer. 174 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:48,183 Oh, did you hear? Someone moved into the Clickner place. A woman. 175 00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:50,435 - A woman? - Yeah. 176 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,354 - Did you mount her? - Oh, Dad. 177 00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:55,857 No, wait a minute. Has she got big thighs? 178 00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:58,693 - No. - No? 179 00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:00,653 Then what's the problem? 180 00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:03,865 If I was a young fellow like you, I'd be mounting... 181 00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:07,160 ...every woman in Wabasha. 182 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,079 Keep the change. 183 00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:16,169 Hi, Punky. 184 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:17,796 Hi, John. 185 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,301 [MOTOR PUTTERING] 186 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,605 [HOCKEY GAME PLAYING INDISTINCTLY ON TV] 187 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,339 [OPERA MUSIC PLAYING] 188 00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:12,684 [SIGHS] 189 00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:17,647 [CAR HORN HONKING] 190 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,115 MAX: The Green Hornet strikes again! 191 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,783 [LAUGHS] 192 00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,577 Caught my limit. 193 00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:32,620 I see you only snagged one, huh? 194 00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:35,290 Two fish are on there, you bonehead. 195 00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:37,792 You know damn well I throw back what I'm not gonna eat. 196 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,754 Oh, yeah? Like that 40-pound muskie you're always yakking about. 197 00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:44,757 It's a shame that nobody ever sees you with these monsters. 198 00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:46,467 [LAUGHING] 199 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,560 You're gonna love it, Goldman. 200 00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,814 Go to work, baby. 201 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,612 [JOHN SNORING] 202 00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:07,989 [KNOCKING ON FRONT DOOR] 203 00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,449 Hmm? 204 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:10,867 [CAT MEOWS] 205 00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,243 What is it? 206 00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:18,041 Oh, my God, they've come for me. 207 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,254 [DOORBELL RINGS] 208 00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:27,800 [KNOCKING ON FRONT DOOR] 209 00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:36,142 [JOHN GRUNTS] 210 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,144 [SCREAMS] 211 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:40,438 [GROANS] 212 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,357 [GASPING] 213 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,029 Hi. 214 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:51,115 Oh, my God. I, uh... 215 00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,201 You see, I was... 216 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:54,619 Hi. 217 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,955 I hope you don't mind, but I saw your light on... 218 00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:59,874 ...and I was just wondering if I might use your bathroom. 219 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,502 What? 220 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:08,883 - So, uh, your toilet is broken? - Oh, no, thank goodness. 221 00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:14,013 I don't know, the house seemed so empty tonight. I do so love bathrooms. 222 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,766 You know, you can tell a lot about a person from his bathroom. 223 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:19,060 - Did you know that? - No, I didn't know that. 224 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,397 - There's a guest bath... - I can't wait to see what I find in there. 225 00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:25,316 - Much better than having your palm read. - Well, uh... 226 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,610 You give me 30 seconds in a person's bathroom... 227 00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:31,698 ...and I will give you a complete and accurate profile. 228 00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:34,951 - There's a guest bathroom, please. - I'll only be a minute. 229 00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:39,163 Ah. Guest bathroom. 230 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,227 [TOILET FLUSHES] 231 00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:10,611 So? 232 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:12,739 Fascinating. 233 00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,033 Uh... 234 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,910 Now, don't you think it's time that you finally introduced yourself? 235 00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:20,747 - Oh, uh... - John "Goostafson," right? 236 00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:22,832 - Gustafson. - Gustafson. 237 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:27,170 Well, I took some of your mail yesterday just to find out who you were. 238 00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:31,507 But you don't get much and what you do get doesn't paint a picture. 239 00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:34,969 - You took my mail. That's a federal offense. - I know. 240 00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:38,306 Sometimes it's necessary to go a long distance out of the way... 241 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:41,100 ...in order to come back a short distance correctly. 242 00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:43,978 - Don't you find that too? I love that line. - What? 243 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:48,441 I have to confess it's not mine. It's from The Zoo Story by Edward Albee. 244 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:51,986 I teach American literature at Winona State University. 245 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:55,490 I started yesterday. Oh, I love the classics, don't you? 246 00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:59,577 - Yeah. Well, I also read Field & Stream. - Indeed? 247 00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:02,705 You have a whole library up there from what I could see. 248 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:07,627 You know, there's something really rugged and virile about the outdoors, isn't there? 249 00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:09,629 Oh, yeah. 250 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:10,922 Oh. 251 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,007 My manners. I'm so sorry. 252 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,509 I'm Ariel Truax. 253 00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:17,261 [STUTTERING] How do you do? I'm John G-Gustafson. 254 00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:18,930 - Yes, I know. - You know that. 255 00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:22,517 When did you move into the Clickner place? 256 00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:24,519 Oh, I'm sure you know that, John. 257 00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:26,938 Ever since I got here, you and Max Goldman... 258 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:32,110 ...have been stuck up against your windows watching me like two Garfield cats. 259 00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:34,862 You know, those kind that people stick to their car windows? 260 00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:37,657 You know, those little suction cups they have? It's so... 261 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,283 Squirrels. 262 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:43,204 Been watching the squirrels. One of them's making a nest under your eaves. 263 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:44,789 Sure, John. 264 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,332 Here's your mail. 265 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:49,168 Now, there's nothing addressed to a Mrs. Gustafson. 266 00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:52,171 And by the state of your bathroom, I presume that you're a bachelor. 267 00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:53,381 Yeah. 268 00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:54,715 Gay or straight? 269 00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:58,386 - Huh? - Heterosexual or homosexual? 270 00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,139 Jeez Louise. 271 00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,182 It's a perfectly legitimate question. 272 00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:04,892 [LAUGHING] 273 00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:08,229 Well, maybe in California, but here in Minnesota... Ho-ho. 274 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,565 Have I upset you? 275 00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:12,441 No, hey. 276 00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:15,319 It's the middle of the night and I don't know what the hell is... 277 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:17,321 Would you like me to leave? 278 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:18,739 No. 279 00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:20,491 Yeah. 280 00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:25,037 Well, it was very nice meeting you, John Gustafson. 281 00:19:25,205 --> 00:19:28,332 And now that we know each other, don't be a stranger, neighbor. 282 00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:30,877 Oh, and John... 283 00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:34,338 ...king's rook to queen's bishop 3. 284 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,393 Ah. 285 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,611 [HORN HONKS] 286 00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:58,279 MAN: Hey, John. 287 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,956 Phil, wait a minute. Don't ring that up yet. 288 00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,959 I need something for my lumbago. The pain is killing me. 289 00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:16,297 Ah, it's killing you, my ass. He doesn't know the meaning of the word pain. 290 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:20,426 I got a pinched sciatica that makes your lumbago look like eye strain. 291 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,221 Pain. He wants to talk about pain. 292 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:26,682 I had a gallstone the size of a baseball. 293 00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:30,269 Gallstones, yeah. Gallstones are for pussies. 294 00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:33,731 When I had shingles did you see me complaining to Phil? 295 00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:36,067 Shingles schmingles. 296 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,653 When I had my ulcers, I was... 297 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:42,073 ...farting razor blades. 298 00:20:42,866 --> 00:20:45,451 - Good morning, John. - Huh? Good... 299 00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,746 Oh, you must be Max Goldman. 300 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,791 Hi, I'm Ariel Truax, your new neighbor. 301 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:55,002 - Pleasure. - Isn't it a peach of a day? 302 00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:57,672 - Ah. ARIEL: Listen, I have something for you. 303 00:20:57,839 --> 00:21:00,341 It was dropped off at my house by accident. 304 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,134 Some of your mail. Heh. 305 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:05,763 - Here you are. Sorry. - Ah. 306 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:08,849 Phil, have my herbal therapy oils arrived yet? 307 00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:10,518 They arrived this morning. 308 00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:13,312 Special delivery from California. 309 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,481 Wonderful. Wonderful. 310 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:18,776 Ah, yes, there's nothing like the scent of... 311 00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:21,028 ...fresh tea tree... 312 00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:24,031 ...just soaking into your pores. - Hmm. 313 00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:25,658 Don't you agree? 314 00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:27,034 Lovely. 315 00:21:28,161 --> 00:21:31,122 Thank you. It was such a pleasure meeting you... 316 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:34,125 ...and I'm sure we're going to see a lot of one another. 317 00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:37,586 Goodbye, gentlemen. Goodbye, John. 318 00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:39,338 Yeah. 319 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,258 [DOOR CHIMES] 320 00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:44,510 - Holy moly. JOHN: Uh-huh. 321 00:21:44,761 --> 00:21:47,555 JOHN: Now wait. You got all four wheels on the track? Okay. 322 00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:51,017 All right. Now, careful, fellas, huh? Hey, Mel. 323 00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:55,229 Be careful. That's over 100 years old. Damn thing might collapse. 324 00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:58,190 - Hi, sweetheart. How are you? - Hi, Dad. Good. 325 00:21:58,358 --> 00:22:01,110 JOHN: There's Granddaddy's little girl. - What's going on? 326 00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:04,905 - I'm getting rid of that. It's just firewood. - Why? 327 00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:08,743 Well, I don't know. I don't play it much. It sits around, collects dust. 328 00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:11,579 - You love that piano. - Granddaddy's got a surprise... 329 00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:14,498 ...for you in the house, pumpkin. - Dad. 330 00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:18,085 Oh, just a little C-A-N-D-Y. It's not going to kill her. 331 00:22:18,253 --> 00:22:20,046 ALEXANDRA: Candy. 332 00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:24,091 Which one? Okay, which hand? 333 00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:26,427 This one? No. 334 00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:29,221 Which hand? That's the one. Yeah. 335 00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:31,599 There you are, sweet pea. How about that? Here. 336 00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,768 Dad. 337 00:22:33,935 --> 00:22:37,646 - Is there something wrong? - No. Nothing's wrong at all. 338 00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:39,899 With me... 339 00:22:45,155 --> 00:22:47,406 Now, Mel, um... 340 00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:50,993 How am I gonna...? People are asking about you. 341 00:22:51,161 --> 00:22:52,328 I know. 342 00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:56,457 Yeah, now I keep telling them that you and Mike are doing just fine. 343 00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:58,793 It's just a lot of gum-flapping. 344 00:22:59,836 --> 00:23:03,756 - Mike and I aren't fine. - Yeah. That's what I thought. 345 00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:09,428 Dad, we're gonna separate for a while. 346 00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:15,810 Honey, marriage isn't easy, you know. You gotta work at it. 347 00:23:16,603 --> 00:23:18,979 It's hard to work at it when he's never there. 348 00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:22,191 Oh, my God, is that familiar. Your mother wondered where I was for 20 years. 349 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,903 You really think I wanted two jobs? I didn't do that for me. 350 00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:28,322 - I was doing it for you, Brian, your mother. - Dad. Dad. 351 00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:31,617 Dad, this isn't about you. This is about me and Mike. 352 00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:35,746 Yeah, I'm sorry. I-I get... I keep... 353 00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:37,498 [CHUCKLES] 354 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,127 I'm sorry. I love you so much. 355 00:23:43,588 --> 00:23:46,924 Well, whatever you and Mike decide is... 356 00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:50,845 I never liked him anyway. 357 00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:53,681 [BOTH LAUGH] 358 00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:56,183 [ARIEL SCREAMING OUTSIDE] 359 00:23:56,351 --> 00:23:58,686 [WHOOPING] 360 00:24:04,192 --> 00:24:05,860 MELANIE: Who is that? 361 00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:08,279 I don't know. 362 00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:10,322 [WHOOPING] 363 00:24:10,490 --> 00:24:11,782 Hi! 364 00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:14,368 Ha, ha. She seems to know you. 365 00:24:14,536 --> 00:24:15,828 Well, I... 366 00:24:15,996 --> 00:24:18,539 [YELLING] 367 00:24:18,707 --> 00:24:21,375 - Does she always do that? - I don't know. 368 00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:24,211 ARIEL: Oh! This is great! 369 00:24:24,963 --> 00:24:27,381 Whoo! 370 00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:29,842 [MELANIE LAUGHING] 371 00:24:39,811 --> 00:24:41,228 [MICROWAVE DINGS] 372 00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:43,606 Aah! 373 00:24:43,773 --> 00:24:46,817 TV ANNOUNCER: We hope you enjoyed our feature presentation. 374 00:24:46,985 --> 00:24:50,696 Now stay tuned for tonight's $6.4 million jackpot on Powerball. 375 00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:52,448 JOHN: Three, four five... 376 00:24:52,616 --> 00:24:54,408 Followed by local news. 377 00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:56,744 Out of the way, Slick. Come on, baby. 378 00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:58,579 Come on. I gotta win a million bucks. 379 00:24:58,747 --> 00:25:00,164 [SIGHS] 380 00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:02,625 [TV CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY] 381 00:25:10,926 --> 00:25:13,010 [KNOCKING ON FRONT DOOR] 382 00:25:13,386 --> 00:25:14,553 Who's that? 383 00:25:15,055 --> 00:25:16,263 [KNOCKING CONTINUES] 384 00:25:16,431 --> 00:25:18,390 MAX: Okay. Okay. JACOB: Ta-da! 385 00:25:18,558 --> 00:25:20,851 Hey, Jacob, you got my vote. That's terrific. 386 00:25:21,019 --> 00:25:25,064 Come on in. Have a little TV dinner. Lasagna's heating up now. 387 00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:28,150 I don't have time. I just dropped by to give you the placard for the yard. 388 00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:31,570 - I got a bunch I gotta deliver. - You'll have just a drink Little drink. 389 00:25:31,738 --> 00:25:33,781 Pop, I can't. I'm sorry. I'll call you. 390 00:25:33,949 --> 00:25:35,282 No, close the door. Come in. 391 00:25:35,450 --> 00:25:36,492 [ALARM BEEPS] 392 00:25:36,660 --> 00:25:38,494 Wait a minute. Give me a minute, will you? 393 00:25:38,662 --> 00:25:43,415 I'll be with you in a second. I have to do something here that's very important. 394 00:25:43,583 --> 00:25:46,627 Six-point-four million. That's our estimated jackpot tonight. 395 00:25:46,795 --> 00:25:48,420 You could be our next millionaire. 396 00:25:48,588 --> 00:25:50,673 [MAX MUTTERING] 397 00:25:56,304 --> 00:25:58,639 - To win the jackpot, correctly match... - Come on. Do it. 398 00:26:01,309 --> 00:26:03,310 Our first number is a... 399 00:26:03,478 --> 00:26:06,438 [SINGING UPBEAT SONG] 400 00:26:08,149 --> 00:26:09,233 [CHUCKLING] 401 00:26:11,695 --> 00:26:13,362 What's going on? 402 00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:15,906 - There's number four. - Seven. 403 00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:20,077 - To win the jackpot, match 5 white balls... - There's a seven. Now, second... 404 00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:22,121 And next up is a... 405 00:26:23,665 --> 00:26:24,832 Come on! 406 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,084 The schmuck doesn't know what's happening. 407 00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:29,670 - A 25. - Seven... 408 00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:32,756 - There's just one more ball and here it is... - Fifteen. 409 00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:37,595 Jesus Christ! 410 00:26:37,762 --> 00:26:38,804 [LAUGHING] 411 00:26:39,347 --> 00:26:41,682 [UPBEAT HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING] 412 00:26:43,476 --> 00:26:44,935 Goldman. 413 00:26:46,354 --> 00:26:48,314 Goldman. It's Goldman. 414 00:26:48,481 --> 00:26:51,775 - You're a child. - Don't tell me, Jacob. It isn't me. 415 00:26:51,943 --> 00:26:53,652 JACOB: Oh, it never is. 416 00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:56,155 No, I'm sure John started every fight since 1940. 417 00:26:56,323 --> 00:26:59,158 - '38. - Well, it's ridiculous. 418 00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:03,829 - Hey, John! MAX: Oh! 419 00:27:03,997 --> 00:27:05,205 Come over here and apologize. 420 00:27:05,373 --> 00:27:07,499 - Come here. Come on. - I'm not apologizing to anybody. 421 00:27:07,667 --> 00:27:09,376 You're letting the cold air in. 422 00:27:09,544 --> 00:27:11,795 [MAX YELLING] 423 00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:15,049 Take that, you criminal. 424 00:27:35,737 --> 00:27:37,780 [DOOR OPENS THEN JOHN GASPS] 425 00:27:37,947 --> 00:27:40,574 I don't believe it. That old trick? 426 00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:43,077 This is something between me and your father, Jakey. 427 00:27:43,244 --> 00:27:45,704 There's no need for you to get involved. 428 00:27:46,623 --> 00:27:49,291 I don't say anything on one condition: 429 00:27:49,459 --> 00:27:51,543 Put one of these in your yard. 430 00:27:52,796 --> 00:27:54,421 I'd be proud to, Jake. 431 00:27:54,589 --> 00:27:57,174 Hey, not one word to your old man, remember? 432 00:28:01,221 --> 00:28:03,597 - Have fun, Johnny. - Yeah. 433 00:28:05,725 --> 00:28:08,102 [JOHN GRUNTING] 434 00:28:12,607 --> 00:28:14,233 [GRUNTS] 435 00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:22,241 Hey, dickhead, you win the lottery? 436 00:28:24,202 --> 00:28:26,370 Enjoy your shower, smartass? 437 00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:28,372 [LAUGHING] 438 00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:32,793 [ROOF CREAKING] 439 00:28:35,046 --> 00:28:37,047 [GRUMBLES] 440 00:28:43,304 --> 00:28:44,888 Mm, mm. 441 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:50,060 Gotta use hot water, you schmuck. 442 00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:52,062 You'll never get me. 443 00:28:54,816 --> 00:28:57,776 - See you later, Gustafson. - Ah. 444 00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:02,156 [ENGINE STARTS] 445 00:29:07,996 --> 00:29:10,205 Up yours, Gustafson. 446 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,167 [CHUCKLING] 447 00:29:13,334 --> 00:29:15,461 Phew. Puke. 448 00:29:15,628 --> 00:29:18,005 P-yew! What the hell is that smell? 449 00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:19,923 [SNIFFING] 450 00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:21,383 [GROANS] 451 00:29:21,551 --> 00:29:23,802 [HORN HONKING] 452 00:29:26,681 --> 00:29:28,640 P-yew! 453 00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:33,020 MAX: Ah. 454 00:29:33,188 --> 00:29:34,772 [HORN HONKING] 455 00:29:41,529 --> 00:29:43,489 Watch it, bonehead. 456 00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:47,534 Phew. 457 00:29:48,661 --> 00:29:51,288 [INHALES DEEPLY] 458 00:29:53,541 --> 00:29:56,877 MAX: Mrs. Cusack over at the store said she came in yesterday... 459 00:29:57,045 --> 00:29:59,296 ...to buy some candles and incense. 460 00:29:59,839 --> 00:30:03,342 Ask me, she's probably a member of one of them religious cults. 461 00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:05,969 - You say she's all alone? - From what I heard... 462 00:30:06,137 --> 00:30:09,389 ...she's available and hot to trot. 463 00:30:11,017 --> 00:30:12,226 JOHN: Hey, Chuck. 464 00:30:14,687 --> 00:30:16,730 - Moron. - Putz. 465 00:30:16,898 --> 00:30:18,440 CHUCK: Hi, John. 466 00:30:19,359 --> 00:30:21,652 Max was telling me about your new neighbor. 467 00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:23,737 What? My new neighbor? 468 00:30:23,905 --> 00:30:27,449 Oh, yes, yeah, new neighbor. Yeah, she came over to see me last night. 469 00:30:27,617 --> 00:30:28,867 She what? 470 00:30:29,035 --> 00:30:30,911 Yeah, about 1:30 in the morning. 471 00:30:31,079 --> 00:30:34,039 Why would a woman come over at 1:30 in the morning to see you? 472 00:30:34,207 --> 00:30:37,209 Just why do you think, bonehead? I'll have a six-pack, Chuck. 473 00:30:37,377 --> 00:30:40,045 Ha. Women and fish... 474 00:30:40,213 --> 00:30:42,756 ...you can never catch either one of them, Gustafson. 475 00:30:42,924 --> 00:30:46,426 I've laid more pipe in this town than Wabasha Plumbing. 476 00:30:46,594 --> 00:30:49,263 Oh, yeah? Now you're telling me you're going to go after her? 477 00:30:49,430 --> 00:30:53,642 Oh, me? Oh, jeez. God, no. She's too... She's too disturbed for me. 478 00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:55,310 For you maybe. 479 00:30:55,478 --> 00:30:58,480 No, I don't wanna have anything to do with her. 480 00:30:58,648 --> 00:31:00,858 See, women fall too hard for me. 481 00:31:01,025 --> 00:31:03,277 They get obsessed with me. 482 00:31:03,444 --> 00:31:06,321 It's like one of them Fatal Attraction things... 483 00:31:06,489 --> 00:31:09,408 ...that they show on The Donahue Show, you know. 484 00:31:09,576 --> 00:31:13,245 You guys are the biggest damn bullshitters... 485 00:31:13,413 --> 00:31:17,040 ...in this entire frozen nation. 486 00:31:17,208 --> 00:31:19,543 You're just plain chicken... 487 00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:21,587 ...both of you, if you ask me. 488 00:31:21,754 --> 00:31:25,215 A beautiful woman just sitting there... 489 00:31:25,383 --> 00:31:27,593 ...20 feet from your front yards... 490 00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:31,930 ...and you're trying to tell me you'd rather park your wrinkly butts... 491 00:31:32,098 --> 00:31:33,682 ...on a frozen piece of ice... 492 00:31:33,850 --> 00:31:37,811 ...kissing up to a couple of buckets of fish bait. Ha! 493 00:31:37,979 --> 00:31:40,230 Jesus, listen to Casanova, will you? 494 00:31:40,398 --> 00:31:43,275 Yeah, he's a regular Don Juan. 495 00:31:43,443 --> 00:31:46,403 No wonder the ladies "Don Juan" anything to do with you. 496 00:31:46,571 --> 00:31:48,488 JOHN: That did it. - Oh. 497 00:31:48,656 --> 00:31:50,699 I'm out. I am out. 498 00:31:50,867 --> 00:31:53,285 Hey, Max, will you say hello to Jake for me? 499 00:31:53,453 --> 00:31:56,288 Why don't you come over and have some turkey with us? 500 00:31:56,456 --> 00:31:59,041 There's always plenty of bird with just Jacob and me. 501 00:31:59,208 --> 00:32:01,668 That way you can spend next week in bed with ptomaine, huh? 502 00:32:01,836 --> 00:32:04,588 Come on over to my place, Melanie cooks up a real feast, Chuck. 503 00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:08,258 Thanks, fellas. But you know those old boys over at the VFW... 504 00:32:08,426 --> 00:32:10,469 ...they expect me every Thanksgiving. 505 00:32:10,637 --> 00:32:12,512 Oh, yeah, forget it. See you, Chuck. 506 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:14,806 - Moron. - Putz. 507 00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:19,478 Tell me something, Chuck. 508 00:32:19,646 --> 00:32:21,313 - Do I stink? JOHN: Yeah! 509 00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:24,149 Not you, smartass. Didn't ask you. 510 00:32:27,570 --> 00:32:30,739 I could smell it in the car. This stink. 511 00:32:30,907 --> 00:32:32,449 Is it me? 512 00:32:34,577 --> 00:32:35,619 Yep. 513 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,538 [SNIFFS] 514 00:32:38,706 --> 00:32:39,915 Damn. 515 00:32:43,836 --> 00:32:45,545 [LAUGHING] 516 00:32:51,302 --> 00:32:52,803 [ENGINE STARTS] 517 00:32:54,681 --> 00:32:57,432 Ah, what the hell is that? 518 00:32:58,017 --> 00:32:59,518 For chrissake. 519 00:33:04,565 --> 00:33:05,816 [GRUNTS] 520 00:33:06,901 --> 00:33:16,743 [GROANS] 521 00:33:25,628 --> 00:33:27,045 Gustafson. 522 00:33:27,213 --> 00:33:28,797 [HORN HONKS] 523 00:33:33,219 --> 00:33:35,262 You schmuck! 524 00:33:36,764 --> 00:33:38,390 [GRUNTS] 525 00:33:42,937 --> 00:33:45,564 [TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY] 526 00:33:49,235 --> 00:33:52,070 Damn disgrace the way they coach that team. 527 00:33:55,116 --> 00:33:57,701 [BELL TINKLING] 528 00:34:01,748 --> 00:34:05,292 [HUMMING] 529 00:34:08,796 --> 00:34:09,796 Stay there. 530 00:34:09,964 --> 00:34:12,132 Stay there, you little bastard. 531 00:34:13,968 --> 00:34:16,470 [GRUNTING] 532 00:34:16,637 --> 00:34:18,305 [YELLING] 533 00:34:19,891 --> 00:34:22,893 [GRUNTING] 534 00:34:24,812 --> 00:34:26,396 It's the Green Hornet. 535 00:34:26,564 --> 00:34:28,648 [SOBBING] 536 00:34:28,816 --> 00:34:32,152 - How are you, Punky? - Hey, buttercup. 537 00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:34,237 Give me two packs of Camels... 538 00:34:34,405 --> 00:34:38,283 ...and a cup of your special coffee, you love muffin, you. 539 00:34:38,451 --> 00:34:41,244 You're supposed to be smoking filter cigarettes, Pop. 540 00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:45,749 Yeah, well, I'm 94 years old. What the hell do I care, huh? 541 00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:48,627 Oh, thank you, dear. 542 00:34:51,631 --> 00:34:54,549 [MAX GRUNTING] 543 00:34:57,637 --> 00:35:00,347 [CROWD CHATTERING] 544 00:35:02,141 --> 00:35:04,184 - Max is here. - Ah. 545 00:35:04,352 --> 00:35:06,269 [MAX GROANS] 546 00:35:14,445 --> 00:35:16,279 - Come on, love muffin. GRANDPA: Yeah, yeah. 547 00:35:16,447 --> 00:35:17,948 [SIGHING] 548 00:35:22,620 --> 00:35:23,870 - Thanks. - Here. 549 00:35:25,081 --> 00:35:28,333 - You were always there to save me. - Mm-hm. Yeah, right. 550 00:35:28,501 --> 00:35:31,044 No, really. When Billy Gerber locked me in his tree house... 551 00:35:31,212 --> 00:35:32,838 ...you were my knight in shining armor. 552 00:35:33,005 --> 00:35:35,173 And I got a black eye for my effort. 553 00:35:35,341 --> 00:35:37,134 - Let me get that. - There you go. 554 00:35:37,301 --> 00:35:38,885 I always knew, you know. 555 00:35:39,053 --> 00:35:40,554 Knew what? 556 00:35:40,721 --> 00:35:43,140 That you had a crush on me since 6th grade. 557 00:35:43,307 --> 00:35:46,184 You used to watch me with your dad's binoculars. 558 00:35:46,352 --> 00:35:47,519 - What? - Mm-hm. 559 00:35:47,687 --> 00:35:49,354 No. I... 560 00:35:49,522 --> 00:35:52,983 You never wondered why my curtains were open just enough? 561 00:35:53,151 --> 00:35:54,901 I thought I was lucky. 562 00:35:56,195 --> 00:35:58,446 I just did it to torture you. Ha, ha. 563 00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:01,741 Yes. Well, you succeeded wonderfully. 564 00:36:01,909 --> 00:36:04,536 How come you never asked me out? 565 00:36:06,205 --> 00:36:07,747 Uh, I... 566 00:36:07,915 --> 00:36:09,499 Hey, Mel. Hi, Jakey. 567 00:36:09,667 --> 00:36:11,835 Uh, Mel, is the turkey supposed to be smoking? 568 00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:15,213 Oh, man. I better run. See you. 569 00:36:15,381 --> 00:36:16,756 JACOB: Hey, John. - Hey. 570 00:36:16,924 --> 00:36:18,258 Happy Thanksgiving. 571 00:36:18,426 --> 00:36:21,344 - Yeah. How are you? - Good. 572 00:36:21,512 --> 00:36:23,597 - They're getting a divorce. - Huh? 573 00:36:23,806 --> 00:36:28,059 Mel and Mike, they're getting a divorce. They call it a separation, but it's divorce. 574 00:36:28,269 --> 00:36:30,729 - Gee, I'm sorry to hear that. - Yeah. 575 00:36:30,897 --> 00:36:32,689 So are you seeing anyone special, are you? 576 00:36:32,857 --> 00:36:35,692 Me? Mmm... 577 00:36:35,860 --> 00:36:39,696 - No, I guess not. Nobody serious. - What do you know? 578 00:36:41,657 --> 00:36:43,700 We got a new neighbor, did you hear? 579 00:36:43,868 --> 00:36:46,036 JACOB: Everyone in town is talking about this woman. 580 00:36:46,204 --> 00:36:49,539 Yeah. Gee, she hasn't been out since 11:20. 581 00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:52,417 What are you doing? Clocking her, John? 582 00:36:52,585 --> 00:36:54,878 Well, she keeps odd hours, you know. 583 00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:56,963 Very interesting woman. 584 00:36:57,131 --> 00:36:59,257 Sounds like a wacko to me. 585 00:37:00,843 --> 00:37:03,261 I haven't had sex for 15 years. 586 00:37:11,896 --> 00:37:13,980 Could I have little? Oh. Mmm. 587 00:37:14,982 --> 00:37:16,024 [BURPS] 588 00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:17,734 GRANDPA: Oh, my. MELANIE: Too much, Dad? 589 00:37:17,902 --> 00:37:19,152 Yeah, that was plenty. 590 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,446 Hey, why don't you give some of the leftovers to Jakey? 591 00:37:21,614 --> 00:37:23,114 He'll have his own leftovers. 592 00:37:23,282 --> 00:37:27,202 That pre-cooked stuff his old man gets? That tastes like cardboard. 593 00:37:28,704 --> 00:37:30,830 Why don't you go and talk to her, Dad? 594 00:37:30,998 --> 00:37:32,457 What? Talk to who? 595 00:37:32,625 --> 00:37:33,875 Ariel. 596 00:37:34,085 --> 00:37:36,169 You spent half the meal staring out the window. 597 00:37:36,337 --> 00:37:37,379 Just squirrels. 598 00:37:37,546 --> 00:37:40,340 There's the squirrels on her roof. That's what I was staring at. 599 00:37:40,508 --> 00:37:43,927 You're a handsome, eligible guy with a nice house, a good pension. 600 00:37:44,095 --> 00:37:45,345 You got a lot to offer her. 601 00:37:45,513 --> 00:37:47,180 Well, I got something to offer her. 602 00:37:47,348 --> 00:37:48,556 [GROWLS] 603 00:37:51,060 --> 00:37:53,478 I got zip to offer her. 604 00:37:54,188 --> 00:37:56,314 JACOB: Pop, I can't tell if this is done. 605 00:37:59,235 --> 00:38:02,028 Pop, do you know how many minutes this thing needs to cook? 606 00:38:02,196 --> 00:38:04,114 Getting hungry. 607 00:38:07,243 --> 00:38:10,620 Sure be nice to have some turkey right about now. 608 00:38:11,247 --> 00:38:12,372 [MAX CHUCKLES] 609 00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:14,833 You remember the turkey your mother used to make? 610 00:38:15,001 --> 00:38:18,503 - Oh, yeah. - Damn, she was a good cook. 611 00:38:18,879 --> 00:38:20,672 You remember the stuffing? 612 00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:22,215 BOTH: The best. 613 00:38:22,383 --> 00:38:25,135 - How about those potato latkes? - Oy. 614 00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:27,012 [MAX CHUCKLES] 615 00:38:27,179 --> 00:38:29,055 I thought you said Chuck was going to VFW. 616 00:38:29,223 --> 00:38:31,558 MAX: He is. JACOB: I don't think so. 617 00:38:31,726 --> 00:38:33,643 What are you talking about? 618 00:38:33,978 --> 00:38:35,729 Looks like he's making a house call. 619 00:38:35,896 --> 00:38:36,980 What? 620 00:38:39,233 --> 00:38:40,400 What in the... 621 00:38:40,568 --> 00:38:42,152 Hell is he doing there? 622 00:38:45,072 --> 00:38:47,324 - He's going to do it. - So? 623 00:38:47,491 --> 00:38:48,908 What? 624 00:38:49,076 --> 00:38:51,494 What is he doing in that crazy... 625 00:38:51,662 --> 00:38:54,205 - Son of a... - Jealous? 626 00:38:54,373 --> 00:38:56,374 Of what? Are you...? 627 00:38:56,542 --> 00:38:58,460 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 628 00:39:01,213 --> 00:39:03,131 - He's in. - He's in. 629 00:39:03,299 --> 00:39:05,133 - He's in! - Oh. 630 00:39:05,301 --> 00:39:09,012 Looks like Chuck's taking old one-eye to the optometrist. 631 00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:11,222 - Oh, jeez, Dad. What? - Oh. 632 00:39:12,683 --> 00:39:14,059 God... 633 00:39:44,256 --> 00:39:46,466 - Chuck? MAX: Chuck, where are you? 634 00:39:46,634 --> 00:39:48,385 JOHN: Ah. - Hello, fellas. 635 00:39:48,552 --> 00:39:50,553 JOHN: Hey, um... MAX: Hi, Chuck. 636 00:39:50,721 --> 00:39:53,264 - Some game last night. MAX: Double overtime. 637 00:39:53,432 --> 00:39:57,060 - Blackhawks were killers, weren't they? - Did you catch the game, Chuck? 638 00:39:58,771 --> 00:39:59,813 No. 639 00:40:00,481 --> 00:40:03,566 Oh, sure, you were with the guys at the VFW. 640 00:40:03,734 --> 00:40:08,780 Yeah. How was the turkey at the VFW this year, Chucky? 641 00:40:10,157 --> 00:40:12,117 The turkey this year... 642 00:40:12,284 --> 00:40:15,078 ...was delicious. Ha, ha. 643 00:40:15,871 --> 00:40:16,996 Yeah... 644 00:40:17,164 --> 00:40:18,581 - Oh, come on. - We saw you. 645 00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:20,792 - You were there half the night. MAX: What'd you do? 646 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:22,836 - What's it like in there? - What did she say? 647 00:40:23,003 --> 00:40:24,879 Fellas. Fellas. 648 00:40:25,214 --> 00:40:27,757 There are some experiences in life too rich... 649 00:40:27,925 --> 00:40:31,511 ...too beautiful to try to put into words. 650 00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:33,680 - What does that mean exactly? JOHN: Yeah. 651 00:40:33,848 --> 00:40:38,518 Could have been either of you if you just had the guts to ask. 652 00:40:40,104 --> 00:40:44,190 - You mean, you and she...? - I'm not talking about sex, dummies. 653 00:40:44,358 --> 00:40:46,109 JOHN: No? - Of course not. 654 00:40:46,861 --> 00:40:48,528 Oh. 655 00:40:48,696 --> 00:40:50,238 I get it. 656 00:40:51,157 --> 00:40:53,741 Your old pal failed you, huh, Chuck? 657 00:40:54,076 --> 00:40:56,619 Oh, couldn't rise to the occasion? 658 00:40:56,996 --> 00:41:00,874 - Yes, the spirit was willing... - Yeah, but the flesh was, uh... 659 00:41:01,041 --> 00:41:02,292 Weak, weak. 660 00:41:03,627 --> 00:41:06,212 Okay, okay, if it wasn't sex what was it? 661 00:41:09,175 --> 00:41:11,050 It was an awakening. 662 00:41:12,845 --> 00:41:15,889 Ariel reminded me that I was alive. 663 00:41:16,056 --> 00:41:20,685 That I was a man full of energy, love, and passion. 664 00:41:20,853 --> 00:41:23,480 It was like being young again. 665 00:41:23,647 --> 00:41:25,690 If only for a moment. 666 00:41:30,237 --> 00:41:32,030 Couldn't get it up, huh, Chuck? 667 00:41:34,450 --> 00:41:36,493 Get out of here, both of you. 668 00:41:36,660 --> 00:41:38,578 Yeah, I'll see you. 669 00:41:40,414 --> 00:41:42,040 Yeah, but... 670 00:41:43,250 --> 00:41:44,834 [STAMMERS] 671 00:41:45,294 --> 00:41:47,837 MAX: So long. CHUCK: Hey, boys. 672 00:41:49,548 --> 00:41:52,634 That's not just a woman living across your street. 673 00:41:52,801 --> 00:41:55,261 She's an angel. 674 00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:58,681 Angel, right. Take it easy, Chuck. 675 00:42:01,393 --> 00:42:02,769 See you, Chuck. 676 00:42:04,271 --> 00:42:07,398 [LAUGHING] 677 00:42:15,282 --> 00:42:16,574 [YELPS] 678 00:42:22,122 --> 00:42:23,122 [SCREAMS] 679 00:43:09,461 --> 00:43:11,671 [TALKING INDISTINCTLY] 680 00:43:21,265 --> 00:43:22,974 MAX: Holy moly. 681 00:43:23,309 --> 00:43:26,728 Look at all the crap you... Excuse me. The stuff you got here. 682 00:43:26,895 --> 00:43:30,690 ARIEL: Well, it's my inspiration. - You did...? You're an artist? 683 00:43:30,858 --> 00:43:33,067 Ah, I try. 684 00:43:33,527 --> 00:43:37,697 I used to teach courses in Expressionism at Berkeley. 685 00:43:37,906 --> 00:43:41,034 But now I'm back to the classics of literature. 686 00:43:41,410 --> 00:43:43,453 Berkeley, that explains it. 687 00:43:43,912 --> 00:43:45,163 Oh, my God. 688 00:43:45,914 --> 00:43:47,373 ARIEL: What? 689 00:43:47,541 --> 00:43:50,043 Your TV. It's got no guts. 690 00:43:50,210 --> 00:43:51,377 I took them out. 691 00:43:51,545 --> 00:43:55,006 How could you do that to a '54 Super Zenith? 692 00:43:55,174 --> 00:43:57,216 This TV is a classic. 693 00:43:57,384 --> 00:44:00,720 I can fix it for you though, if you wanted me to. 694 00:44:00,888 --> 00:44:03,806 That's what I used to do. I was a TV repairman. 695 00:44:03,974 --> 00:44:06,726 Aw, that's so sweet, Max, but... 696 00:44:06,894 --> 00:44:09,437 ...you know, I think it works quite well... 697 00:44:09,605 --> 00:44:11,606 ...just the way it is. 698 00:44:13,651 --> 00:44:16,277 How the hell does she see any shows? 699 00:44:23,077 --> 00:44:24,577 Holy moly. 700 00:44:29,833 --> 00:44:31,376 ARIEL: I see you've met Ernest. 701 00:44:31,919 --> 00:44:34,545 - Who? - The model was my husband. 702 00:44:35,464 --> 00:44:38,383 Boy, he sure wasn't pleased about modeling in the nude. 703 00:44:38,550 --> 00:44:41,552 Took quite a bit of prompting, I must say. 704 00:44:42,805 --> 00:44:44,222 He's, uh... 705 00:44:44,848 --> 00:44:46,224 Passed on. 706 00:44:46,517 --> 00:44:48,518 Five years ago. 707 00:44:49,853 --> 00:44:52,063 Hmm. Would you like some coffee? 708 00:44:52,231 --> 00:44:54,399 - Yeah. - Cream and sugar? 709 00:44:54,566 --> 00:44:56,317 Yeah. 710 00:44:57,611 --> 00:44:58,945 Hmm. 711 00:45:06,954 --> 00:45:08,579 [GROANS] 712 00:45:08,747 --> 00:45:11,791 Sure moved around a lot the last few years, didn't you? 713 00:45:11,959 --> 00:45:16,421 Yeah, I think it's exciting to experience new things... 714 00:45:16,588 --> 00:45:19,924 ...new places, and meet new people. 715 00:45:20,092 --> 00:45:21,342 Like you. 716 00:45:25,431 --> 00:45:27,014 Do you paint? 717 00:45:27,182 --> 00:45:29,100 - Paint? Me? - Yes. Uh-huh. 718 00:45:29,268 --> 00:45:30,435 Sure do. 719 00:45:30,602 --> 00:45:32,270 I paint the shed every spring. 720 00:45:32,438 --> 00:45:33,813 - Ha-ha! - No. No. 721 00:45:33,981 --> 00:45:36,023 - You get it? - I get it, I get it. 722 00:45:36,191 --> 00:45:38,484 No, I mean, you know... 723 00:45:38,652 --> 00:45:40,153 ...pictures, paintings. 724 00:45:41,113 --> 00:45:42,822 What for? 725 00:45:42,990 --> 00:45:46,242 Everyone needs some form of... 726 00:45:47,161 --> 00:45:48,828 ...release. 727 00:45:49,705 --> 00:45:51,038 I fish. 728 00:45:52,082 --> 00:45:53,124 Fish? 729 00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:56,002 Fish... 730 00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:58,171 Oh. Yeah, fish. 731 00:45:58,338 --> 00:46:01,007 Oh, yeah. I can see the beauty in that. 732 00:46:01,175 --> 00:46:03,384 - Yeah? - Mm. 733 00:46:06,346 --> 00:46:09,557 Miss Truax, would you do me the honor... 734 00:46:09,725 --> 00:46:12,685 ...of accompanying me to my ice shanty tomorrow? 735 00:46:16,231 --> 00:46:18,357 I'd be honored. 736 00:46:23,614 --> 00:46:25,948 [TALKING INDISTINCTLY] 737 00:46:27,075 --> 00:46:29,994 MAX: See you tomorrow. ARIEL: Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. 738 00:46:30,162 --> 00:46:31,788 [BOTH LAUGH] 739 00:46:31,955 --> 00:46:33,331 ARIEL: Be careful. MAX: Okay. 740 00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:38,377 [MAX SINGING "HEAT WAVE"] 741 00:46:42,508 --> 00:46:44,133 Whoa! 742 00:46:44,301 --> 00:46:46,636 - I can't hold it! MAX: Reel him in. 743 00:46:46,804 --> 00:46:48,971 ARIEL: I can't hold him, Max. - Work him. Work him. 744 00:46:49,139 --> 00:46:51,891 ARIEL: I'm trying. He's so strong! MAX: Easy does it. 745 00:46:52,059 --> 00:46:53,976 MAX: Reel it in. - I can't hold it. 746 00:46:54,144 --> 00:46:56,687 - I'm trying but I can't! - All right. Give me the pole. 747 00:46:56,855 --> 00:46:59,148 Oh, not yet. Not on your life. Get out of here! 748 00:46:59,316 --> 00:47:01,359 - Let me... Pull! - Stop! 749 00:47:01,527 --> 00:47:04,737 [ARIEL & MAX SHOUTING] 750 00:47:04,905 --> 00:47:05,988 [ARIEL SCREAMING] 751 00:47:06,156 --> 00:47:08,533 MAX: That's it. Coming. Coming. ARIEL: Aah! Aah! 752 00:47:08,700 --> 00:47:09,909 Morning, John. 753 00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,911 [ARIEL & MAX SHOUTING] 754 00:47:12,079 --> 00:47:13,746 Morning, Punky. 755 00:47:13,914 --> 00:47:16,207 ARIEL: Oh, Max. MAX: Uh-oh. Uh-oh. 756 00:47:16,375 --> 00:47:20,211 - Oh, I almost lost him. - Max, oh, he's just magnificent. 757 00:47:20,379 --> 00:47:23,214 Magnificent? He's a damn record-breaker. You've got a 3-footer. 758 00:47:23,382 --> 00:47:25,258 Oh, Max. 759 00:47:25,425 --> 00:47:27,426 I can see the beauty in this now. 760 00:47:27,594 --> 00:47:30,930 - Can you see it? - Yes, the lure. No, the fight. 761 00:47:31,098 --> 00:47:33,474 - The fight. Wait till I show the guys. - The catch. 762 00:47:33,642 --> 00:47:35,768 - What a catch. - And then the release. 763 00:47:35,936 --> 00:47:37,061 The release! 764 00:47:37,229 --> 00:47:40,731 - What release? There's no release. - Oh, yes, it's beautiful. 765 00:47:40,899 --> 00:47:44,360 No, I'll tell you what's beautiful. This monster on my wall stuffed. 766 00:47:44,528 --> 00:47:48,406 Oh, no. There can be no stuffing. This is a live creature. 767 00:47:48,574 --> 00:47:51,325 Full of courage and life. 768 00:47:51,493 --> 00:47:53,744 Nobody's gonna believe me. Let me get a camera. 769 00:47:53,912 --> 00:47:55,538 - Oh, no. - Just hold it for a minute. 770 00:47:55,706 --> 00:47:58,082 - I hear the water calling it back, Max. - Where is it? 771 00:47:58,250 --> 00:48:00,251 ARIEL: Here we go. - Wait, wait! 772 00:48:00,419 --> 00:48:03,296 - Calling. - Here. Hold it. Hold it! 773 00:48:03,463 --> 00:48:04,881 [ARIEL YELPS] 774 00:48:05,048 --> 00:48:09,135 [SCREAMING] 775 00:48:11,221 --> 00:48:13,472 [ALL CHATTERING] 776 00:48:14,641 --> 00:48:15,683 Hey, Pop. 777 00:48:21,356 --> 00:48:23,816 Hey. Just finishing breakfast. 778 00:48:23,984 --> 00:48:25,818 So I see. 779 00:48:26,612 --> 00:48:29,530 Colder than a witch's titty out there, isn't it? 780 00:48:30,782 --> 00:48:32,533 Where did you get this fishing pole? 781 00:48:32,701 --> 00:48:35,786 GRANDPA: Oh, I snagged it about an hour ago. 782 00:48:35,954 --> 00:48:38,164 The only damn thing I caught all day. 783 00:48:38,332 --> 00:48:39,999 Ah. 784 00:48:43,837 --> 00:48:46,213 Hey, Chuck, guess what Pop found. 785 00:48:46,381 --> 00:48:47,840 [JOHN CHUCKLES] 786 00:48:52,512 --> 00:48:53,971 Chuck? 787 00:48:55,098 --> 00:48:57,058 Chuck? Hey, Chuck! 788 00:48:58,018 --> 00:49:02,188 Ch... You forgot to unlock the back door, you dummy. 789 00:49:10,781 --> 00:49:12,698 [DISPATCH RADIO CHATTERING] 790 00:49:20,207 --> 00:49:23,626 Isn't it wonderful to have a little adventure every day? 791 00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:26,379 All I know is you're one hell of a fisherman, Ariel. 792 00:49:26,546 --> 00:49:28,464 Oh. I learned from the best. 793 00:49:28,882 --> 00:49:31,342 Oh, I hope you weren't mad at me for putting them all back. 794 00:49:31,510 --> 00:49:34,512 Ah, that's okay. Gustafson does the same thing. 795 00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:38,557 He just keeps the ones he eats. That's what he says. 796 00:49:38,725 --> 00:49:40,142 I think he never catches them. 797 00:49:40,310 --> 00:49:42,812 - Ha, ha. - Ha, ha. Oh, Max. 798 00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:45,147 I think we're going to be great friends. 799 00:49:45,315 --> 00:49:47,108 Oh, fr... Fr... 800 00:49:47,734 --> 00:49:50,319 Friends. Friends is good. That's good, isn't it? 801 00:49:50,487 --> 00:49:52,738 - Yeah. - Mm-hm. 802 00:49:52,906 --> 00:49:55,658 How about some supper tonight? After your class, I mean. 803 00:49:55,826 --> 00:50:00,204 Oh, thank you so much, but I already have made plans. I'm sorry. 804 00:50:00,372 --> 00:50:02,581 - Oh. - But I'll take a rain check. 805 00:50:02,749 --> 00:50:04,875 - That's a deal. - Okay? 806 00:50:05,043 --> 00:50:07,920 Yeah. Until we meet again, my dear Ariel. 807 00:50:08,088 --> 00:50:09,630 Yes. 808 00:50:09,798 --> 00:50:11,382 - Ha, ha. - Goodbye. 809 00:50:12,968 --> 00:50:14,760 Watch out. Don't slip. 810 00:50:14,928 --> 00:50:16,929 [CHUCKLES] 811 00:50:26,523 --> 00:50:29,859 Well, Gustafson, looks like the best man won. 812 00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:35,531 Ah. You always were a lousy loser. 813 00:50:35,699 --> 00:50:37,324 [GRUNTS] 814 00:50:37,492 --> 00:50:39,118 He's dead. 815 00:50:39,953 --> 00:50:42,788 - What? Who? - Chuck. 816 00:50:42,956 --> 00:50:44,623 Chuck? How? 817 00:50:45,959 --> 00:50:47,752 Last night in his sleep. 818 00:50:47,919 --> 00:50:49,837 In his sleep. 819 00:50:51,089 --> 00:50:52,631 Lucky bastard. 820 00:50:52,799 --> 00:50:56,052 Of course, you might have known if you hadn't been out with that minx. 821 00:50:56,219 --> 00:50:59,638 Hey, it ain't my fault. Chuck was a friend of mine too. 822 00:50:59,806 --> 00:51:02,767 You call yourself a friend? You bastard. 823 00:51:02,934 --> 00:51:05,102 Hey, watch your mouth, you dumb frigging Swede. 824 00:51:05,270 --> 00:51:07,521 Look, don't tell me what to do, huh? 825 00:51:07,689 --> 00:51:09,732 Yeah, yeah. Big man with the ax in your hand. 826 00:51:09,900 --> 00:51:13,652 Ax? All right, fine. You wanna clock me? You think you can take me? Come on. 827 00:51:13,820 --> 00:51:16,947 - All right. 1937, at Todd Field... - Oh, for God's sake. 828 00:51:17,115 --> 00:51:21,660 ...I kicked your ass after football practice when you stole my liniment. 829 00:51:21,828 --> 00:51:25,331 - I kicked your ass and I can do it again. - Bullshit. 830 00:51:25,499 --> 00:51:27,500 Give it your best shot, shrimp. 831 00:51:30,670 --> 00:51:32,421 It's not worth the effort. 832 00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:35,841 Get out of there. 833 00:51:37,427 --> 00:51:38,969 [SIGHS] 834 00:51:44,101 --> 00:51:45,267 Damn. 835 00:51:46,436 --> 00:51:49,855 He has the intelligence quotient of a newt. 836 00:51:58,156 --> 00:51:59,532 [GRUNTS] 837 00:52:03,995 --> 00:52:06,705 Shrimp thinks he can get funny with me. 838 00:52:08,166 --> 00:52:09,667 Left hook... 839 00:52:09,835 --> 00:52:11,544 ...right cross... 840 00:52:11,711 --> 00:52:13,254 ...and dump him. 841 00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:20,636 Oh, Chuck. 842 00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:23,472 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 843 00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:26,225 I'm gonna kill him. 844 00:52:27,018 --> 00:52:29,395 God damn you, Goldman, you... 845 00:52:30,772 --> 00:52:32,064 John Gustafson? 846 00:52:32,232 --> 00:52:34,817 I'm Elliot Snyder of the Internal Revenue Service. 847 00:52:34,985 --> 00:52:37,486 I'm asking you to accompany me to my office. 848 00:53:11,980 --> 00:53:14,440 [CLATTERING NEARBY] 849 00:53:18,987 --> 00:53:20,029 Slick? 850 00:53:20,739 --> 00:53:22,615 [SLICK MEOWS] 851 00:53:29,331 --> 00:53:30,915 [MUTTERS] 852 00:53:32,918 --> 00:53:34,793 [CLATTERING] 853 00:54:00,820 --> 00:54:02,821 - Oh! - Hi. 854 00:54:02,989 --> 00:54:03,989 [GASPS] 855 00:54:04,157 --> 00:54:06,450 I was wondering where you were. 856 00:54:06,618 --> 00:54:08,244 I, uh... 857 00:54:08,411 --> 00:54:11,330 I had a little, uh, business. 858 00:54:11,498 --> 00:54:13,624 Oh, I hope it went all right. 859 00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:16,919 Yeah. Uh, wh... What are you doing? 860 00:54:17,087 --> 00:54:19,171 Cooking. Ha, ha. 861 00:54:19,339 --> 00:54:21,674 Cooking. Yes, yeah. That's... 862 00:54:25,095 --> 00:54:27,263 Oh, wait a minute. I can't have anything spicy. 863 00:54:27,430 --> 00:54:29,682 I mean, if it's too exciting, I'm up all night. 864 00:54:30,392 --> 00:54:33,102 Good. I'm making Sichuan. 865 00:54:34,521 --> 00:54:37,773 Ah, gotcha. 866 00:54:39,317 --> 00:54:43,862 From the moment I saw you, I could feel that we had the same kind of aura. 867 00:54:44,030 --> 00:54:47,032 - That we share something special. - Teaching. 868 00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:49,910 Thirty-nine years I taught American history at Wabasha High. 869 00:54:50,078 --> 00:54:53,122 Oh. History, it's so romantic. 870 00:54:54,457 --> 00:54:57,001 Great dental plan. 871 00:54:57,168 --> 00:54:58,669 [LAUGHS] 872 00:55:01,006 --> 00:55:03,424 All the ideas that you brought to those young minds. 873 00:55:03,591 --> 00:55:06,176 Yeah, the kids think they know it all, right? 874 00:55:06,511 --> 00:55:09,346 Oh, once in a while you reach one. You touch them somehow. 875 00:55:09,514 --> 00:55:11,598 - I did that once. - Really? 876 00:55:11,766 --> 00:55:13,726 It was my Roosevelt's New Deal lecture. 877 00:55:13,893 --> 00:55:16,895 I touched a kid on the back of his head while he was snoring. 878 00:55:17,063 --> 00:55:18,856 - Ha, ha. - You're so bad. 879 00:55:19,024 --> 00:55:20,232 [LAUGHS] 880 00:55:22,235 --> 00:55:23,986 You know, uh... 881 00:55:25,530 --> 00:55:29,033 - Chuck, he... - Mm. 882 00:55:31,411 --> 00:55:33,912 - I know. - Oh. 883 00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:38,167 We can be thankful that we had the privilege of knowing him... 884 00:55:38,335 --> 00:55:39,918 ...while he was here. 885 00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:46,175 Yeah. 886 00:55:48,303 --> 00:55:49,636 To Chuck. 887 00:55:50,764 --> 00:55:52,848 Yes, to Chuck. 888 00:56:03,526 --> 00:56:06,278 Thank you, John. It was a wonderful evening. 889 00:56:06,446 --> 00:56:08,030 Thank you, Ariel. 890 00:56:26,091 --> 00:56:29,134 - Now, Pop, you think I should I call her? - What? 891 00:56:29,302 --> 00:56:30,844 - What? - The woman. 892 00:56:31,096 --> 00:56:34,306 Well, let me tell you something, John. 893 00:56:34,516 --> 00:56:37,226 That the first 90 years or so... 894 00:56:37,394 --> 00:56:40,312 ...they go by pretty fast. - Ha, ha. Yeah? 895 00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:43,816 - What? - The first 90 years, they go by pretty fast. 896 00:56:43,983 --> 00:56:47,152 Yeah, but how would you know? You're just a damn kid. 897 00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:49,196 Well, I didn't say it, you did. 898 00:56:49,364 --> 00:56:52,116 - Well, they do. They go fast. - Okay. All right. 899 00:56:52,283 --> 00:56:54,284 - Then one day you wake up... - Yeah? 900 00:56:54,452 --> 00:56:56,036 ...and you realize... 901 00:56:56,204 --> 00:56:59,248 ...ha, ha, that you're not 81 anymore. 902 00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:02,334 And then you begin to count the minutes rather than the days... 903 00:57:02,502 --> 00:57:06,296 ...and you realize that pretty soon you'll be gone. 904 00:57:06,464 --> 00:57:09,842 And that all you have, see, is the experiences. 905 00:57:10,009 --> 00:57:13,762 That's all there is, Johnny. Everything. The experiences. 906 00:57:19,310 --> 00:57:21,687 You mount the woman, son. Ha, ha. 907 00:57:23,231 --> 00:57:24,857 Or else, uh... 908 00:57:25,024 --> 00:57:27,359 ...send her out to me, huh? 909 00:57:34,159 --> 00:57:56,555 [BOTH SCREAMING] 910 00:58:08,818 --> 00:58:11,778 I happened to come by these two tickets for the Gopher game. 911 00:58:11,946 --> 00:58:13,530 [DOORBELL RINGS] 912 00:58:14,282 --> 00:58:16,158 So, Ariel, uh... 913 00:58:16,326 --> 00:58:19,077 ...ever play much ice hockey? Ha-ha-ha. 914 00:58:20,497 --> 00:58:23,540 - Ah, schmuck. SNYDER: Mr. Gustafson. 915 00:58:23,708 --> 00:58:27,711 Mr. Gustafson. We had an appointment. 916 00:58:36,763 --> 00:58:39,556 JOHN: There she is. Wabasha. 917 00:58:41,309 --> 00:58:42,434 ARIEL: Hmm. 918 00:58:42,602 --> 00:58:45,062 It is just beautiful. 919 00:58:45,230 --> 00:58:49,399 Yeah. Yeah, from up here. I used to camp out up here when I was a kid. 920 00:58:53,154 --> 00:58:54,613 What are you thinking? 921 00:58:54,781 --> 00:58:56,865 Oh, I'm sorry. I just... 922 00:58:57,659 --> 00:58:58,992 It's the snow. 923 00:59:00,787 --> 00:59:03,914 Reminded me of the last Christmas I spent with my husband. 924 00:59:09,462 --> 00:59:12,339 - Are you all right? - Yes, an angel. 925 00:59:12,507 --> 00:59:15,509 - What? - I'm making a snow angel, remember? 926 00:59:15,677 --> 00:59:17,261 Oh. Oh, yeah. 927 00:59:17,428 --> 00:59:19,096 Yeah. I remember. 928 00:59:19,264 --> 00:59:20,806 ARIEL: Whoo! 929 00:59:20,974 --> 00:59:23,308 [BOTH LAUGHING] 930 00:59:28,231 --> 00:59:30,148 Hey. 931 00:59:33,027 --> 00:59:34,820 Do you believe in angels? 932 00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:37,239 - Oh, yeah. - Uh-huh? 933 00:59:37,407 --> 00:59:39,616 - Oh, they're all around us. - Yeah? 934 00:59:39,784 --> 00:59:43,412 Mm-hm. You've got to look hard but they're there... 935 00:59:44,706 --> 00:59:47,666 ...whenever anything good happens to us. 936 00:59:48,876 --> 00:59:50,460 I think I see one. 937 01:00:00,013 --> 01:00:02,055 [BOTH LAUGHING] 938 01:00:08,938 --> 01:00:11,648 WOMAN [ON TV]: Look at how large Papa's bald spot is. 939 01:00:11,816 --> 01:00:15,068 MAN [ON TV]: Actually does look like hair growing there. 940 01:00:15,236 --> 01:00:19,531 - You could imagine problems that will become reality. 941 01:00:20,950 --> 01:00:23,744 [UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING ON TV] 942 01:00:40,303 --> 01:00:44,348 MAN 2 [ON TV]: Give it all you've got. Again and again and again. 943 01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:48,268 Aha. 944 01:00:49,187 --> 01:00:51,563 I'll have you mated in three moves. 945 01:00:51,731 --> 01:00:54,983 Shouldn't we get to know each other a little better first? 946 01:00:58,696 --> 01:01:02,032 Oh, you have a wonderful smile. You should wear it more often. 947 01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:03,992 Yeah? L... l... 948 01:01:04,160 --> 01:01:06,912 I bring it out on special occasions. Heh. 949 01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:08,330 Hmm. 950 01:01:09,999 --> 01:01:11,208 Tell me, who's this? 951 01:01:11,376 --> 01:01:13,418 - What? - Over here. 952 01:01:13,586 --> 01:01:16,004 - Oh, that's my dad. That's Pop. - Oh. 953 01:01:16,172 --> 01:01:19,091 The handsome guy right behind him. You know him, I think, don't you? 954 01:01:19,258 --> 01:01:22,344 My daughter Melanie and her mother, and Melanie and her husband, Mike. 955 01:01:22,512 --> 01:01:24,012 - She's beautiful. - Yeah. 956 01:01:24,180 --> 01:01:26,264 Now, these people over here? 957 01:01:26,432 --> 01:01:29,309 Ah, the little girl is Alexandra, my granddaughter. 958 01:01:29,477 --> 01:01:33,105 - And my son, Brian. - Oh, he's so handsome. 959 01:01:33,731 --> 01:01:35,399 Lost him in Vietnam. 960 01:01:35,566 --> 01:01:38,944 - Oh, I'm so sorry. - Oh, that's okay. It's all right. It's okay. 961 01:01:39,737 --> 01:01:41,071 And these little guys. 962 01:01:41,239 --> 01:01:44,116 - Oh, ha. That's me and the moron. - Max? 963 01:01:44,283 --> 01:01:46,535 - Of course it's Max. He's ugly isn't he? - Ha, ha! 964 01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:48,745 ARIEL: Oh, you mean you were friends? 965 01:01:48,913 --> 01:01:51,123 Well, I was 10. I didn't know any better. 966 01:01:52,542 --> 01:01:55,961 What can make two grown men spend most of their lives fighting each other? 967 01:01:56,129 --> 01:01:58,171 - Oh, guess. - A woman. 968 01:01:58,339 --> 01:02:00,716 - Uh, yeah. - How romantic. 969 01:02:00,883 --> 01:02:04,636 Oh, no, it wasn't romantic at all. It was... Ah, well. 970 01:02:06,639 --> 01:02:09,057 What did I know? I was just a kid. 971 01:02:09,225 --> 01:02:11,560 Which I am not anymore. 972 01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:28,285 I think it's kind of late. 973 01:02:29,829 --> 01:02:32,914 Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. I guess... 974 01:02:33,082 --> 01:02:34,708 It's time for bed. 975 01:02:39,422 --> 01:02:42,424 [WHISPERS] God, you are dumb, dumb, dumb. 976 01:02:46,929 --> 01:02:49,139 Ariel, I'm sorry that... 977 01:02:53,686 --> 01:02:55,312 I thought you said... 978 01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:57,856 I said it's time for bed. 979 01:02:59,025 --> 01:03:01,651 - Well, wait a minute. What about... - What? 980 01:03:01,819 --> 01:03:03,695 Well, you know, you've been seeing... 981 01:03:03,863 --> 01:03:05,405 - Max? - Yeah, Max. 982 01:03:05,573 --> 01:03:07,199 He's just my friend. 983 01:03:08,117 --> 01:03:10,786 Uh, yeah, but, uh... 984 01:03:10,953 --> 01:03:12,996 The last man that I slept with was my husband. 985 01:03:13,164 --> 01:03:14,539 Uh... 986 01:03:17,126 --> 01:03:19,836 Oh, God. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute. 987 01:03:24,175 --> 01:03:25,967 I'm not prepared. 988 01:03:26,761 --> 01:03:30,472 See, these days, they say you have to do safe sex. 989 01:03:32,058 --> 01:03:34,309 John, when was the last time you made love? 990 01:03:36,604 --> 01:03:38,897 October 4. 991 01:03:42,401 --> 01:03:43,777 1978. 992 01:03:45,822 --> 01:03:48,573 Oh, I think we're safe. 993 01:03:59,418 --> 01:04:02,128 [MAX HUMMING] 994 01:04:02,296 --> 01:04:03,713 [SNIFFING] 995 01:04:04,257 --> 01:04:05,632 [SIGHS] 996 01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:07,884 [CHUCKLES] 997 01:04:19,605 --> 01:04:20,939 ARIEL: Max! 998 01:04:21,107 --> 01:04:22,524 Good morning. 999 01:04:23,985 --> 01:04:25,360 Oh, are those for me? 1000 01:04:25,528 --> 01:04:28,905 - Oh, yeah. - They're just beautiful. Thank you. 1001 01:04:29,532 --> 01:04:32,033 - They're for you. I got them for you. - Thank you. 1002 01:04:32,201 --> 01:04:34,786 Thank you. How sweet. 1003 01:04:35,371 --> 01:04:36,997 I... 1004 01:04:38,416 --> 01:04:40,083 ...got them for you. 1005 01:04:46,465 --> 01:04:48,258 Snake in the grass. 1006 01:05:31,510 --> 01:05:33,887 Burn, baby, burn. 1007 01:05:54,241 --> 01:05:56,076 [GRUNTS] 1008 01:05:57,370 --> 01:05:58,995 [BURPS] 1009 01:06:12,301 --> 01:06:14,094 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 1010 01:06:22,061 --> 01:06:23,853 JOHN: How you doing, Punky? 1011 01:06:26,524 --> 01:06:27,565 MAX: Creep. 1012 01:06:39,245 --> 01:06:41,246 [OPERA MUSIC PLAYING] 1013 01:06:46,419 --> 01:06:48,003 [SIGHS] 1014 01:06:51,632 --> 01:06:53,049 [THUD THEN RECORD SCRATCHES] 1015 01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:57,095 [THUD] 1016 01:06:57,263 --> 01:06:59,305 [CREAK] 1017 01:07:00,599 --> 01:07:02,100 [CLUNK] 1018 01:07:04,395 --> 01:07:05,520 [CREAKING] 1019 01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:09,274 [GASPS] 1020 01:07:15,114 --> 01:07:17,073 [HORN HONKING] 1021 01:07:19,910 --> 01:07:23,580 Holy shit. Max. Stop the car, you idiot! 1022 01:07:24,081 --> 01:07:27,042 Look out, Goldman's gone nuts. Look out! 1023 01:07:27,209 --> 01:07:29,711 - Look out! Look out! - Aah! 1024 01:07:31,255 --> 01:07:34,299 - Max, you've really lost it. - Dirty little bastard. 1025 01:07:34,467 --> 01:07:37,135 Are you out of your mind? Max! 1026 01:07:38,304 --> 01:07:39,637 JOHN: Oh, my God! 1027 01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:44,642 [SCREAMING] 1028 01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:52,817 Yes! 1029 01:07:52,985 --> 01:07:54,944 [JOHN GROANS] 1030 01:07:58,199 --> 01:07:59,657 Oh, no. 1031 01:08:04,497 --> 01:08:06,581 He belongs in a rubber room. 1032 01:08:09,335 --> 01:08:11,377 [GROWLS] 1033 01:08:13,380 --> 01:08:15,799 I fixed your fishing pole. 1034 01:08:15,966 --> 01:08:18,510 Who cares about a damn fishing pole? 1035 01:08:18,677 --> 01:08:20,512 You can shove that pole. 1036 01:08:20,679 --> 01:08:24,140 You think a lousy old pole is gonna replace her? 1037 01:08:26,102 --> 01:08:27,435 [GRUNTS] 1038 01:08:27,603 --> 01:08:28,937 Are you crazy? 1039 01:08:29,105 --> 01:08:30,605 [CROWD SHOUTING] 1040 01:08:30,773 --> 01:08:34,359 Don't egg him on. Go back to your fishing and leave him alone, all right? 1041 01:08:34,527 --> 01:08:35,985 - We'll settle this thing. - Aargh! 1042 01:08:36,153 --> 01:08:38,321 Max, cut it out. 1043 01:08:38,489 --> 01:08:40,448 [ALL SHOUTING] 1044 01:08:43,536 --> 01:08:46,162 Shrimp, you're not going anywhere. 1045 01:08:50,042 --> 01:08:51,459 MAX: Come on. Aah! - Aah! 1046 01:08:51,627 --> 01:08:53,837 [CROWD SHOUTING] 1047 01:09:00,553 --> 01:09:04,639 - Oh, you broke my nose! - I didn't break your damn nose. 1048 01:09:05,933 --> 01:09:08,643 Look at that. What the hell has gotten into you? 1049 01:09:08,811 --> 01:09:10,728 - You stole her, didn't you? - What? 1050 01:09:10,896 --> 01:09:12,313 She's mine. 1051 01:09:12,898 --> 01:09:14,107 - Says who? - Says me. 1052 01:09:14,275 --> 01:09:15,984 Yeah? Well, she came to me. 1053 01:09:16,152 --> 01:09:19,320 Bull. You're trying to steal her away, just like you did May. 1054 01:09:19,488 --> 01:09:22,657 Oh, for God's sake. Could I remind you, Einstein, May was no prize. 1055 01:09:22,825 --> 01:09:25,577 - She was to me. - I was married to the woman 20 years. 1056 01:09:25,744 --> 01:09:27,537 - She was no prize. - She was to me. 1057 01:09:27,705 --> 01:09:30,665 Yeah. Well, that's why you're a moron. If you'd ended up with May... 1058 01:09:30,833 --> 01:09:33,501 ...you never would have had Amy. And Amy was a good woman. 1059 01:09:33,669 --> 01:09:36,421 - She was the best. - And more loyal than May ever was. 1060 01:09:36,589 --> 01:09:37,672 - Absolutely. - So. 1061 01:09:37,840 --> 01:09:39,340 - So what? - Huh? 1062 01:09:39,508 --> 01:09:41,342 What? 1063 01:09:42,219 --> 01:09:44,262 - Huh? - So? 1064 01:09:44,430 --> 01:09:45,597 What? 1065 01:09:47,266 --> 01:09:50,226 - What? - What? 1066 01:09:50,394 --> 01:09:52,103 Did you... 1067 01:09:53,731 --> 01:09:55,398 Well, did you? 1068 01:09:55,566 --> 01:09:56,900 What? 1069 01:09:57,067 --> 01:09:58,359 You know. 1070 01:09:58,527 --> 01:10:02,780 - Oh, that's a private matter. - Private, my foot. Did you? 1071 01:10:02,948 --> 01:10:04,782 - That's all I can tell you. - You better tell me. 1072 01:10:04,950 --> 01:10:07,619 All right, we did the horizontal mambo! We danced it! 1073 01:10:07,786 --> 01:10:10,705 It was the greatest sex I ever had in my life. All right, are you happy? 1074 01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:13,208 - You... - Oh, shit! Shit! 1075 01:10:14,585 --> 01:10:18,296 [BOTH GRUNTING] 1076 01:10:18,464 --> 01:10:21,799 [CROWD SHOUTING] 1077 01:10:23,886 --> 01:10:27,096 Hey! Drop that fish. 1078 01:10:27,264 --> 01:10:30,391 Huh? Mr. Gustafson. 1079 01:10:30,559 --> 01:10:34,229 Don't make me have to separate you two again, damn it. 1080 01:10:35,564 --> 01:10:40,401 Now go to your shanties, all of you. You're scaring the fish away. 1081 01:10:40,945 --> 01:10:42,153 Damn kids. 1082 01:10:44,865 --> 01:10:48,201 GRANDPA: Kids. You can't live with them, can't shoot them. 1083 01:10:51,538 --> 01:10:56,000 How you gonna take care of her, huh, Gustafson? Huh? 1084 01:10:56,168 --> 01:11:00,421 How are you gonna support her when the IRS takes your house away? 1085 01:11:04,510 --> 01:11:08,388 I can't wait around for another Amy. I ain't got time. 1086 01:11:59,898 --> 01:12:03,484 JOHN: Okay, Max. This time you win. 1087 01:12:16,248 --> 01:12:17,707 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 1088 01:12:27,885 --> 01:12:29,052 - Hi there. - Ariel, uh... 1089 01:12:29,219 --> 01:12:31,054 If you're not going to keep our date tonight... 1090 01:12:31,221 --> 01:12:33,556 ...I'm bringing the date to you. - Huh? 1091 01:12:34,266 --> 01:12:37,602 You promised that you would come over and give me the New Deal lecture... 1092 01:12:37,770 --> 01:12:40,021 - and like a good student... - Uh, what's that? 1093 01:12:41,148 --> 01:12:42,565 It's a gift. 1094 01:12:43,609 --> 01:12:45,234 A snow angel. 1095 01:12:46,612 --> 01:12:48,279 You inspired it. 1096 01:12:53,118 --> 01:12:54,410 I can't accept it. 1097 01:12:55,871 --> 01:12:57,246 Why not? 1098 01:12:58,874 --> 01:13:01,334 I, uh... It doesn't... It... 1099 01:13:03,337 --> 01:13:06,964 Ariel, I think it might be a very good idea if we didn't see each other. 1100 01:13:07,132 --> 01:13:09,467 I mean, for a while. Anyway. 1101 01:13:09,635 --> 01:13:12,929 You know, give each of us a chance to be alone and... 1102 01:13:13,097 --> 01:13:14,639 But I thought... 1103 01:13:14,807 --> 01:13:16,974 Ah, goddamn it. Look, Ariel, please. 1104 01:13:17,142 --> 01:13:20,144 - First place, I'm too old for you. Okay? - What does that...? 1105 01:13:20,312 --> 01:13:23,398 Mainly, I don't like you coming over here any time you feel like it. 1106 01:13:23,565 --> 01:13:26,818 I don't like you hanging around here all day long, damn it. 1107 01:13:27,736 --> 01:13:30,613 Look, I'm not like you. L... I'm not afraid to be alone. 1108 01:13:30,781 --> 01:13:32,824 I am not afraid to be alone. 1109 01:13:32,991 --> 01:13:36,202 I just prefer to experience things... 1110 01:13:36,370 --> 01:13:39,872 ...and not just watch them on television or looking out the windows like you do. 1111 01:13:40,040 --> 01:13:42,750 Don't you understand? I like being alone. 1112 01:13:42,918 --> 01:13:44,627 Oh, I understand. 1113 01:13:44,795 --> 01:13:46,337 I understand completely. 1114 01:13:46,505 --> 01:13:48,005 You don't know a damn thing about me. 1115 01:13:48,173 --> 01:13:50,174 I do too. 1116 01:13:50,342 --> 01:13:53,469 And I also know that the only things in life that you regret... 1117 01:13:53,637 --> 01:13:55,471 ...are the risks that you don't take. 1118 01:13:55,639 --> 01:13:59,642 Oh, but you wouldn't understand that. Because you're too pig-headed. 1119 01:14:04,148 --> 01:14:05,815 [SOBBING] 1120 01:14:46,482 --> 01:14:48,149 Oh, damn. 1121 01:14:48,317 --> 01:14:49,525 JACOB: Hi, John. 1122 01:14:52,738 --> 01:14:54,572 - John. JOHN: Yeah? 1123 01:14:54,740 --> 01:14:56,741 - How are you doing? - Hey, Jakey. 1124 01:14:56,909 --> 01:14:59,577 - Merry Christmas. - Congratulations on the election. 1125 01:14:59,745 --> 01:15:02,371 Thanks. That's kind of old news though, John. Where you been? 1126 01:15:02,539 --> 01:15:06,751 Ah, well, I had all of this stuff that I had to get taken care of. I, uh... 1127 01:15:06,919 --> 01:15:09,921 Oh, hey, listen. Melanie said that she's gonna come by tonight. 1128 01:15:10,088 --> 01:15:11,672 You, know, Christmas Eve. Around 9:00. 1129 01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:14,425 - Is that right? - Yeah. So why don't you drop over later? 1130 01:15:14,593 --> 01:15:16,969 - Yeah. Well, I'll do that. - Okay. 1131 01:15:17,137 --> 01:15:19,680 [SNOWMOBILE REVVING] 1132 01:15:21,058 --> 01:15:23,434 [ARIEL & MAX LAUGHING] 1133 01:15:25,771 --> 01:15:28,523 [BOTH LAUGHING] 1134 01:15:31,485 --> 01:15:33,861 Come spring, this neighborhood will be a lot safer... 1135 01:15:34,029 --> 01:15:36,280 ...without that snowmobile around. 1136 01:15:36,448 --> 01:15:38,449 Hi, Jacob. Hello, putz. 1137 01:15:38,617 --> 01:15:40,368 Hey, Pop. 1138 01:15:40,536 --> 01:15:42,537 Merry Christmas, John. 1139 01:15:43,956 --> 01:15:45,164 Ariel. 1140 01:15:46,750 --> 01:15:50,127 Hey, Gustafson, your cat crapped on my steps again. 1141 01:15:50,295 --> 01:15:52,588 Yeah? Who says you can't train a cat? 1142 01:15:52,756 --> 01:15:54,966 Ah, yeah? Well, that's a warning. 1143 01:15:55,133 --> 01:15:57,593 Don't let it happen again or I'll punch you in the nose. 1144 01:15:57,761 --> 01:16:00,096 - Pop. MAX: He started it. 1145 01:16:00,264 --> 01:16:02,139 JOHN: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1146 01:16:13,110 --> 01:16:14,860 [HORN HONKING] 1147 01:16:18,490 --> 01:16:21,826 Hey. Where's Santa's favorite little girl, huh? 1148 01:16:21,994 --> 01:16:24,662 - Merry Christmas, Dad. - Merry... 1149 01:16:24,830 --> 01:16:26,747 Come on, sweetheart. Hi, John. 1150 01:16:28,917 --> 01:16:30,668 What, no twinkle lights? 1151 01:16:30,836 --> 01:16:33,796 Huh? Yeah, well, I, uh... 1152 01:16:33,964 --> 01:16:35,798 I forgot about them this year. 1153 01:16:38,010 --> 01:16:39,510 - Be polite. - Yeah. 1154 01:16:39,678 --> 01:16:41,512 - Hey, John. - Mike. 1155 01:16:41,680 --> 01:16:43,681 - Merry, uh... - Christmas. 1156 01:16:43,849 --> 01:16:45,683 JOHN: Yeah, Christmas. 1157 01:16:46,518 --> 01:16:48,269 Can I put Allie in your bed? 1158 01:16:48,437 --> 01:16:50,521 JOHN: Yeah, sure. MIKE: Good night, baby. 1159 01:16:50,689 --> 01:16:53,357 MELANIE: Bedtime. Say good night to Grandpa. 1160 01:16:53,525 --> 01:16:54,942 ALEXANDRA: Good night, Grandpa. 1161 01:16:57,112 --> 01:16:58,863 So how you been? 1162 01:16:59,031 --> 01:17:01,532 Lousy. Thought you two were getting a divorce. 1163 01:17:01,700 --> 01:17:03,868 MELANIE: Dad! MIKE: Ha. 1164 01:17:04,036 --> 01:17:06,495 Uh, actually, it's only a separation. 1165 01:17:07,372 --> 01:17:11,042 I had to get some things worked out for myself before we could work on us. 1166 01:17:12,044 --> 01:17:14,211 Did you get it worked out? 1167 01:17:15,547 --> 01:17:17,798 Uh... Uh, yeah. 1168 01:17:17,966 --> 01:17:20,843 You know, as far as I can tell. 1169 01:17:23,263 --> 01:17:25,014 Damn, that's great, Mike. 1170 01:17:26,308 --> 01:17:28,768 Maybe the rest of us should just put our lives on hold... 1171 01:17:28,935 --> 01:17:32,104 ...for the next two, three weeks while you oil yourself up with enough booze... 1172 01:17:32,272 --> 01:17:36,067 ...and bullshit that you can make your mind up. Shall we do that? Huh? 1173 01:17:39,112 --> 01:17:41,155 Uh, heh. 1174 01:17:41,323 --> 01:17:43,074 You know... 1175 01:17:43,241 --> 01:17:44,825 ...maybe I'll grab a beer. 1176 01:17:44,993 --> 01:17:47,411 Yeah, you grab a beer. It's in the fridge. 1177 01:17:50,290 --> 01:17:52,500 What had gotten into you? JOHN: I don't know. 1178 01:17:52,668 --> 01:17:54,585 Grab me one too. 1179 01:17:54,753 --> 01:17:57,046 Dad, try and understand. 1180 01:17:57,214 --> 01:17:59,882 He showed up last night. Says he's gotten himself straightened out. 1181 01:18:00,050 --> 01:18:04,929 What do I know? I'm 68-year-old man. I got no house, no wife, no pension. 1182 01:18:05,097 --> 01:18:07,264 What are you talking about? 1183 01:18:07,432 --> 01:18:09,642 Look, I don't know one damn thing, but I know this: 1184 01:18:09,810 --> 01:18:14,605 The only things in this life that you really regret are the risks you didn't take. 1185 01:18:14,773 --> 01:18:16,774 And, God, Mel, if you see a chance to be happy... 1186 01:18:16,942 --> 01:18:20,903 ...you grab it with both hands and to hell with the consequences. 1187 01:18:22,239 --> 01:18:23,781 Okay? 1188 01:18:24,783 --> 01:18:26,283 Okay. 1189 01:18:28,286 --> 01:18:31,288 Uh, Dad? I'll be damned if I can find a bottle opener. 1190 01:18:34,626 --> 01:18:37,962 Sweetheart, I'm gonna walk down to Slippery's. 1191 01:18:40,465 --> 01:18:41,674 What? 1192 01:18:44,219 --> 01:18:46,137 MELANIE: Dad... 1193 01:18:47,305 --> 01:18:49,724 Oh, hey, Jakey. Merry Christmas. 1194 01:18:49,891 --> 01:18:51,183 Merry Christmas. 1195 01:18:51,351 --> 01:18:52,893 [MELANIE SIGHS] 1196 01:18:53,061 --> 01:18:54,562 Uh, is this a bad time? 1197 01:18:54,730 --> 01:18:56,814 I'm sorry, Jacob. 1198 01:18:56,982 --> 01:19:00,109 I don't know what's wrong with him. He just exploded. 1199 01:19:00,277 --> 01:19:02,069 Do you want me to go after him? 1200 01:19:02,237 --> 01:19:03,404 No, no. That's okay. 1201 01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:05,740 He'll cool off down at Slippery's. Come on in. 1202 01:19:08,160 --> 01:19:09,994 What's that? 1203 01:19:10,162 --> 01:19:12,204 Oh, this is, uh, broccoli. 1204 01:19:12,372 --> 01:19:14,540 Pop didn't have mistletoe, so I... 1205 01:19:14,708 --> 01:19:16,667 [BOTH LAUGH] 1206 01:19:20,839 --> 01:19:23,340 Mike! Hey! You're next, big guy. 1207 01:19:23,508 --> 01:19:26,635 - Heh. Hi, Stinky. - Ha. 1208 01:19:27,512 --> 01:19:30,806 I, uh... I just came by to wish you all a Merry Christmas. 1209 01:19:30,974 --> 01:19:33,851 Oh, that was sweet, Jacob. Wasn't that sweet, Mike? 1210 01:19:34,019 --> 01:19:36,687 Yeah. Sweet and short. 1211 01:19:38,940 --> 01:19:41,567 - Well, I... - Ha, ha. 1212 01:19:41,735 --> 01:19:44,111 JACOB: Uh... - Ha, ha. 1213 01:19:44,279 --> 01:19:46,071 Uh, good to see you, Mike. 1214 01:19:47,282 --> 01:19:49,283 Uh, Jacob? JACOB: Yeah? 1215 01:19:50,452 --> 01:19:53,454 - Could I ask you a favor? JACOB: Sure. 1216 01:19:53,663 --> 01:19:58,042 Could you have a word with your dad? See if they can't make up for Christmas. 1217 01:20:01,129 --> 01:20:02,838 Uh, yeah, sure. Absolutely. 1218 01:20:03,006 --> 01:20:05,216 MELANIE: That would be great. 1219 01:20:07,511 --> 01:20:09,970 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. 1220 01:20:18,021 --> 01:20:21,190 - Over at the Gustafsons'? - Yeah. 1221 01:20:23,735 --> 01:20:26,237 - Melanie there? - Uh-huh. 1222 01:20:26,404 --> 01:20:27,988 [MAX CHUCKLES] 1223 01:20:28,156 --> 01:20:30,616 She, uh... She look good? 1224 01:20:31,284 --> 01:20:34,537 Very. She also looks to still be married. 1225 01:20:34,704 --> 01:20:36,705 What? Mike's back? 1226 01:20:36,873 --> 01:20:38,332 Looks that way. 1227 01:20:39,459 --> 01:20:43,254 You know, Melanie said that John just exploded and walked out. 1228 01:20:44,464 --> 01:20:47,258 - So? - So, what's going on? 1229 01:20:47,425 --> 01:20:50,511 Nothing that shouldn't have happened years ago. 1230 01:20:52,973 --> 01:20:54,098 Pop... 1231 01:20:56,726 --> 01:21:00,271 He tried to steal her away from me, but I won. 1232 01:21:01,273 --> 01:21:03,357 Could you at least, uh, talk to him? 1233 01:21:06,611 --> 01:21:09,947 My door is open. He knows where to find me. 1234 01:21:11,867 --> 01:21:13,325 He started it. 1235 01:21:14,411 --> 01:21:17,538 I don't care who started it, you're gonna end it. 1236 01:21:17,706 --> 01:21:19,915 I don't like him. I never liked him. 1237 01:21:20,083 --> 01:21:22,710 You know, it's Christmas, Pop, all right? 1238 01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:25,796 At least you could go down to Slippery's and make peace with the man. 1239 01:21:27,173 --> 01:21:29,800 I'd rather kiss a dead moose's butt. 1240 01:21:32,137 --> 01:21:33,637 [MOOSE GROANS] 1241 01:21:33,805 --> 01:21:37,808 This 1,500-pound moose is the real thing, folks. 1242 01:21:37,976 --> 01:21:42,146 Reared by local volunteer firefighter, Peter Carlson, of Wabasha... 1243 01:21:42,314 --> 01:21:46,609 ...who found it injured on a hunting trip, brought it home, and brought it up... 1244 01:21:48,069 --> 01:21:49,612 MAX: Merry Christmas. 1245 01:22:08,256 --> 01:22:09,506 Moron. 1246 01:22:09,841 --> 01:22:11,175 Putz. 1247 01:22:12,052 --> 01:22:13,385 Thank you, Lou. 1248 01:22:15,931 --> 01:22:19,975 Jacob says that Michael and Melanie are, uh, gonna get back together again. 1249 01:22:20,143 --> 01:22:22,686 Well, Jacob doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground. 1250 01:22:22,854 --> 01:22:24,939 Melanie is getting a divorce. 1251 01:22:26,524 --> 01:22:29,526 Ah. Yeah, well, uh... 1252 01:22:29,694 --> 01:22:33,280 ...I got a couple of things I want to tell you. - Yeah? 1253 01:22:33,448 --> 01:22:36,367 The reason I came down here tonight is... 1254 01:22:36,534 --> 01:22:38,202 ...I wanted to tell you... 1255 01:22:38,370 --> 01:22:40,120 Spit it out. I haven't got all night. 1256 01:22:40,288 --> 01:22:41,789 - Don't shout. - I'm not shouting. 1257 01:22:41,957 --> 01:22:45,960 Bust my tuchus to get down here on Christmas Eve to thank you... 1258 01:22:46,127 --> 01:22:48,253 ...and all you can do is shout at me. - Wait. 1259 01:22:48,421 --> 01:22:50,047 To thank me? 1260 01:22:50,548 --> 01:22:53,217 All right, I take it back. I don't thank you. 1261 01:22:53,385 --> 01:22:57,513 Oh, for... Jesus, it's impossible. Impossible. 1262 01:23:03,937 --> 01:23:05,396 Look, Goldman... 1263 01:23:07,440 --> 01:23:09,358 I want to ask you something. 1264 01:23:09,567 --> 01:23:14,071 Well, what? I ain't got all night, either. I'm just as busy as you are. 1265 01:23:14,239 --> 01:23:17,032 Listen, do you love her? 1266 01:23:17,200 --> 01:23:20,411 Do I love her? What the hell does that have to do with anything? 1267 01:23:20,578 --> 01:23:22,705 It would make the whole thing worthwhile. 1268 01:23:22,872 --> 01:23:24,665 You know something, Gustafson? 1269 01:23:24,833 --> 01:23:28,210 Sometimes I think you've lost whatever frigging marbles you ever had. 1270 01:23:28,378 --> 01:23:31,380 What do you think you did, walk on coals for me? 1271 01:23:31,548 --> 01:23:35,092 Gave me back my old fishing pole and I told you, "thank you." 1272 01:23:35,260 --> 01:23:37,594 - Fishing pole? - Yes. 1273 01:23:37,762 --> 01:23:39,930 - Pisses me off you had to break it first. - Oh, my God. 1274 01:23:40,098 --> 01:23:41,974 - But schmuck that you are... - Ha, ha. Aah! 1275 01:23:42,142 --> 01:23:45,060 ...I suppose I gotta be realistic. What the hell is so funny? 1276 01:23:45,228 --> 01:23:48,772 You are so butt-blind, you think this whole thing is about a stupid fishing pole? 1277 01:23:48,940 --> 01:23:50,399 - What's it about then? - Forget it. 1278 01:23:50,567 --> 01:23:52,776 What do you mean forget it? Don't give me that crap. 1279 01:23:52,944 --> 01:23:55,404 - I wanna know. - You really wanna know? 1280 01:23:55,572 --> 01:23:57,698 Yes, yes! 1281 01:24:03,288 --> 01:24:05,080 Ariel. 1282 01:24:05,248 --> 01:24:06,874 What about her? 1283 01:24:08,877 --> 01:24:11,211 You made me feel sorry for you. 1284 01:24:13,339 --> 01:24:16,925 She chose me. She did. 1285 01:24:17,093 --> 01:24:20,137 And if anybody says otherwise they're damn liars. 1286 01:24:20,305 --> 01:24:23,265 JOHN: What's the difference? You got her anyway. 1287 01:24:29,189 --> 01:24:32,066 - Heh. - What the hell are you looking at? 1288 01:24:44,996 --> 01:24:46,455 Stupid moron. 1289 01:24:47,540 --> 01:24:50,334 Complete idiot. Ah. 1290 01:24:57,092 --> 01:24:59,510 [GROANING] 1291 01:25:02,013 --> 01:25:04,681 [MUTTERING] 1292 01:25:04,849 --> 01:25:07,351 [GASPING] 1293 01:25:07,519 --> 01:25:10,104 [GROANING] 1294 01:25:16,653 --> 01:25:19,196 It makes a difference, damn it. 1295 01:25:19,364 --> 01:25:21,198 [ALL CHATTERING] 1296 01:25:21,366 --> 01:25:24,076 [GASPING] 1297 01:25:43,888 --> 01:25:45,973 Dirty rat. Little turd. 1298 01:25:54,315 --> 01:25:55,983 Oh, my God. 1299 01:25:56,151 --> 01:25:57,734 Hey, John! 1300 01:25:58,444 --> 01:26:01,405 John. 1301 01:26:01,573 --> 01:26:02,906 Are you dead? 1302 01:26:04,909 --> 01:26:09,496 Not yet. But I don't wanna die looking at your ugly face. 1303 01:26:09,664 --> 01:26:12,583 You stay there. You stay right there. 1304 01:26:13,585 --> 01:26:16,128 Wait a minute. I'll be right back. 1305 01:26:22,010 --> 01:26:25,345 Help, help! It's an emergency. 1306 01:26:25,513 --> 01:26:29,641 Emergency. We need an ambulance. Somebody dial 911. 1307 01:26:32,395 --> 01:26:33,854 MAX: Miss? 1308 01:26:34,022 --> 01:26:37,107 Miss, could you tell... Could you...? 1309 01:26:39,027 --> 01:26:41,403 Oh, nurse. Nurse? 1310 01:26:41,571 --> 01:26:43,322 Nurse? 1311 01:26:43,489 --> 01:26:46,116 Could you tell me where Mr. John Gustafson is? 1312 01:26:46,284 --> 01:26:48,035 Are you friend or family? 1313 01:26:48,870 --> 01:26:50,704 John Gus... What? 1314 01:26:51,664 --> 01:26:53,540 Are you friend or family, sir? 1315 01:26:57,754 --> 01:26:58,879 Uh... 1316 01:27:03,635 --> 01:27:04,885 Friend. 1317 01:27:39,254 --> 01:27:41,463 Merry Christmas, John. 1318 01:27:46,219 --> 01:27:47,678 You putz. 1319 01:27:52,267 --> 01:27:54,184 [DOORBELL RINGS] 1320 01:28:03,861 --> 01:28:08,282 Well, you'd better have a good reason for standing me up this morning. 1321 01:28:12,078 --> 01:28:14,037 What's wrong? 1322 01:28:15,039 --> 01:28:16,581 Can I come in? 1323 01:28:19,043 --> 01:28:20,168 Sure. 1324 01:28:32,473 --> 01:28:33,724 ARIEL: Hi. 1325 01:28:34,934 --> 01:28:37,227 I know that you said that you wanted to get rid of me... 1326 01:28:37,395 --> 01:28:39,479 ...but isn't this a little drastic? 1327 01:28:42,817 --> 01:28:44,443 [SIGHS] 1328 01:28:47,697 --> 01:28:50,449 You know, my husband passed away at Easter. 1329 01:28:50,616 --> 01:28:52,784 And if you leave me at Christmas... 1330 01:28:52,952 --> 01:28:55,746 ...I won't have any kind of holidays to look forward to. 1331 01:28:55,913 --> 01:28:58,915 Except for maybe Thanksgiving and... 1332 01:28:59,876 --> 01:29:03,170 You know, I really... I'm not crazy about turkey. 1333 01:29:05,673 --> 01:29:07,341 So, what do you say? 1334 01:29:08,801 --> 01:29:09,968 Let's get out of here. 1335 01:29:10,136 --> 01:29:12,137 [SOFTLY] All right. 1336 01:29:17,101 --> 01:29:18,602 [LAUGHS] 1337 01:29:22,273 --> 01:29:24,066 Okay, I can wait. 1338 01:29:31,741 --> 01:29:34,076 MAX: The guy could be dead tomorrow, for chrissake. 1339 01:29:34,243 --> 01:29:36,745 I'm sorry your friend is sick, Mr. Goldman... 1340 01:29:36,913 --> 01:29:40,290 ...but the court order is in and my hands are tied. 1341 01:29:40,458 --> 01:29:42,876 Check the bedroom. I want all that paperwork filed. 1342 01:29:43,044 --> 01:29:47,381 Gustafson's straight as a grizzly's dick. He'd never cheat on his taxes. Never. 1343 01:29:47,548 --> 01:29:49,716 It's not a matter of cheating. 1344 01:29:49,884 --> 01:29:52,135 It's a matter of, oh, miscalculation. 1345 01:29:52,303 --> 01:29:57,432 You friend received health benefits for 20 years while claiming as a married man. 1346 01:29:57,934 --> 01:30:00,936 Um, however, he omitted to inform us... 1347 01:30:01,104 --> 01:30:04,398 ...that his ex-wife had a part-time job for 11 of those 20 years. 1348 01:30:04,565 --> 01:30:06,983 Had he done so, we'd have informed him... 1349 01:30:07,151 --> 01:30:09,403 ...that, because of her income... 1350 01:30:09,570 --> 01:30:13,949 ...a larger portion of those benefits were subject, of course, to federal tax. 1351 01:30:14,117 --> 01:30:16,284 Ooh, about $13,000. 1352 01:30:16,452 --> 01:30:19,371 Thirteen thousand? Well, he can raise that. 1353 01:30:19,539 --> 01:30:21,331 However, uh... 1354 01:30:21,499 --> 01:30:24,501 ...that amount, when combined with... 1355 01:30:24,836 --> 01:30:29,965 ...11 years worth of interest, mandatory late charges, and penalties... 1356 01:30:30,508 --> 01:30:35,679 ...uh, comes out at about $57,000, ballpark. 1357 01:30:37,890 --> 01:30:39,850 He'd never find that. 1358 01:30:42,019 --> 01:30:44,729 He will when we sell his house. 1359 01:30:56,576 --> 01:31:00,745 Dirty rat. I'll show him. Picking on people. 1360 01:31:03,958 --> 01:31:06,835 SNYDER: Let's go, let's go. Hubba-hubba. 1361 01:31:07,003 --> 01:31:08,753 - Where's the Realtor? MAN: Get the door? 1362 01:31:08,921 --> 01:31:13,341 SNYDER: Listen, men, all the furniture goes to the auction house. 1363 01:31:13,509 --> 01:31:16,761 Any paperwork put in the back of my car, okay? 1364 01:31:16,929 --> 01:31:18,513 MAN: Yes, sir. 1365 01:31:18,681 --> 01:31:21,516 - Beautiful day, Mr. Goldman! - Hey, Snyder. 1366 01:31:21,684 --> 01:31:26,062 Do the world a favor and pull your lip over your head and swallow. 1367 01:31:26,230 --> 01:31:27,564 [CHUCKLES] 1368 01:31:27,732 --> 01:31:29,733 [LAUGHS] 1369 01:31:30,735 --> 01:31:32,027 SNYDER: Asshole. 1370 01:31:34,030 --> 01:31:35,572 Bloodsuckers. 1371 01:31:36,574 --> 01:31:39,743 - Max, what's going on? - Morning, Ariel. 1372 01:31:40,495 --> 01:31:41,745 Anyone looking? 1373 01:31:42,622 --> 01:31:43,747 No, why? 1374 01:31:48,878 --> 01:31:52,547 SYNDER: I don't care. - We got a problem here, sir. 1375 01:31:52,965 --> 01:31:55,884 - What is it? - Somebody's barricaded the doors. 1376 01:31:56,469 --> 01:31:57,969 Wait a minute. 1377 01:31:58,137 --> 01:31:59,888 What?! 1378 01:32:00,056 --> 01:32:03,725 - Well, break it in. - Watch this. You'll get a kick out of this. 1379 01:32:03,893 --> 01:32:06,061 SNYDER: We'll see about this. 1380 01:32:08,356 --> 01:32:10,065 Yo, Ray. 1381 01:32:12,151 --> 01:32:15,195 This isn't gonna stop me, Mr. Goldman. 1382 01:32:16,364 --> 01:32:18,114 I got him right where I want him. 1383 01:32:19,951 --> 01:32:21,910 [ICE CRACKING] 1384 01:32:23,329 --> 01:32:25,205 [CAR HORN HONKING] 1385 01:32:27,917 --> 01:32:30,210 No. Jacob. 1386 01:32:30,378 --> 01:32:32,212 Got it, Pop. Just like you said. 1387 01:32:32,380 --> 01:32:35,298 - You don't understand. - No, no, it's good. I can handle it. 1388 01:32:36,676 --> 01:32:39,052 I'm Jacob Goldman, Mayor of Wabasha. 1389 01:32:39,220 --> 01:32:42,389 Jacob! No! Ha, ha. 1390 01:32:42,557 --> 01:32:46,393 I've got a 30-day cease and desist order says you can't touch this house. 1391 01:32:54,986 --> 01:32:56,653 [WHISPERS] Jacob. 1392 01:32:57,530 --> 01:32:59,030 Very well. 1393 01:33:03,286 --> 01:33:04,995 JACOB: Whoa. 1394 01:33:06,414 --> 01:33:07,581 [ROOF CREAKING] 1395 01:33:08,833 --> 01:33:10,834 [SCREAMS] 1396 01:33:12,086 --> 01:33:13,503 [MAX LAUGHING] 1397 01:33:13,671 --> 01:33:15,338 [SNYDER GRUNTING] 1398 01:33:18,801 --> 01:33:20,885 But, you... 1399 01:33:23,681 --> 01:33:26,683 [BELLS TOLLING] 1400 01:33:26,851 --> 01:33:29,102 [ORGAN PLAYING SOFT MUSIC] 1401 01:33:45,161 --> 01:33:47,412 - Jacob? - Hey, Mel. 1402 01:33:47,580 --> 01:33:49,539 - Hey. - Hey. 1403 01:33:49,707 --> 01:33:52,542 - Wow, you look great. - Thanks, so do you. 1404 01:33:52,710 --> 01:33:54,461 No, no, I mean it. 1405 01:33:54,629 --> 01:33:57,881 People always try to be nice by saying you look great but, uh... 1406 01:33:58,049 --> 01:33:59,674 ...you really do look great. 1407 01:33:59,842 --> 01:34:02,719 - I feel good. - Yeah. So how are you? 1408 01:34:02,887 --> 01:34:04,471 I'm good, Jacob. 1409 01:34:04,639 --> 01:34:05,930 [BOTH LAUGH] 1410 01:34:06,098 --> 01:34:10,226 Yeah. Listen, I'm, uh, sorry about the, uh... 1411 01:34:10,394 --> 01:34:12,103 - Divorce. Yeah, thanks. - Right. 1412 01:34:12,271 --> 01:34:15,190 I mean, I'm just glad it's over and done with. 1413 01:34:15,358 --> 01:34:17,359 Yeah. Yeah, you must be. 1414 01:34:19,612 --> 01:34:21,237 [MELANIE SIGHS] 1415 01:34:21,405 --> 01:34:24,491 - Ready for this? - No, not really. 1416 01:34:24,659 --> 01:34:27,077 [WOMAN SOBBING] 1417 01:34:27,244 --> 01:34:30,872 Listen, Mel, if you need someone to talk to tonight... 1418 01:34:31,040 --> 01:34:33,083 ...l'm staying at Pop's. 1419 01:34:33,959 --> 01:34:36,961 Thanks, Jacob. I'd like that. 1420 01:34:37,505 --> 01:34:39,214 GRANDPA: Hey, you two! 1421 01:34:39,382 --> 01:34:41,257 Get your asses in here! 1422 01:34:43,719 --> 01:34:45,679 - I guess it's time. - Yeah. 1423 01:34:47,848 --> 01:34:50,183 [SOBBING] 1424 01:34:50,351 --> 01:34:52,894 [GUESTS CHATTERING] 1425 01:34:53,062 --> 01:34:56,022 - Where have you been? - Relax, Pop. You nervous? 1426 01:34:56,190 --> 01:34:57,899 Not nervous. The groom is nervous. 1427 01:34:58,067 --> 01:35:01,111 - I'm not nervous, schmuck. - Don't call me a schmuck, you putz. 1428 01:35:01,278 --> 01:35:02,612 Fellas, you're in a church. 1429 01:35:07,785 --> 01:35:10,537 [GUESTS CHATTERING] 1430 01:35:34,770 --> 01:35:36,813 [SIGHS] 1431 01:35:36,981 --> 01:35:39,107 [GUESTS CHEERING AND APPLAUDING] 1432 01:35:44,071 --> 01:35:47,657 Wait, wait! Ain't you forgetting something? 1433 01:35:47,825 --> 01:35:50,702 Oh! Grandpa! 1434 01:35:51,787 --> 01:35:53,329 Okay, that'll do it. 1435 01:35:53,497 --> 01:35:56,875 Yeah. That'll do it, Dad! I think that'll do it. 1436 01:35:57,042 --> 01:35:59,961 - Okay, here we go. - Oh, wow! 1437 01:36:01,005 --> 01:36:03,798 - Oh, Max, you're the greatest. MAX: Thank you. 1438 01:36:05,885 --> 01:36:06,926 Thank you. 1439 01:36:08,095 --> 01:36:09,929 - I love you. JOHN: Goodbye, pumpkin. 1440 01:36:10,097 --> 01:36:11,681 - Bye, Jacob. - Have fun. 1441 01:36:11,849 --> 01:36:14,267 Hey, Gustafson. Here's a house. 1442 01:36:14,435 --> 01:36:16,519 Jacob got them to waive the penalties and interest... 1443 01:36:16,687 --> 01:36:18,646 ...and I took care of the 13 grand. 1444 01:36:19,315 --> 01:36:22,442 Wipe the smile off your face, because it's just a loan. 1445 01:36:25,780 --> 01:36:29,157 And I'll lay 8-to-5 you can't get it up the entire honeymoon. 1446 01:36:29,325 --> 01:36:31,367 Oh! You're on. 1447 01:36:31,535 --> 01:36:33,787 I got a sure winner. 1448 01:36:33,954 --> 01:36:36,456 [ALL CHATTERING] 1449 01:36:51,722 --> 01:36:53,056 JOHN: You smell something? 1450 01:36:53,224 --> 01:36:54,516 [JOHN SNIFFS] 1451 01:36:54,683 --> 01:36:56,351 What is that? 1452 01:36:56,519 --> 01:36:59,687 - That dirty son of a... - Ugh. 1453 01:37:01,816 --> 01:37:03,358 [JOHN MUTTERING] 1454 01:37:06,237 --> 01:37:07,946 [TIRES SCREECH] 1455 01:37:10,366 --> 01:37:12,992 [LAUGHING] 1456 01:37:13,160 --> 01:37:14,828 What a putz. 1457 01:37:17,915 --> 01:37:19,666 [LAUGHING] 1458 01:37:21,418 --> 01:37:24,337 What do you feel like tonight, Pop, Leno or Letterman? 1459 01:37:24,505 --> 01:37:26,714 Tell me about it in the morning, Jacob. 1460 01:37:26,882 --> 01:37:28,341 Oh. Where are you going? 1461 01:37:28,509 --> 01:37:33,888 The Daughters of the American Revolution are having a little dance at the VFW. 1462 01:37:34,056 --> 01:37:37,600 Maybe I'll get lucky. Don't wait up for me. 1463 01:37:37,768 --> 01:37:39,602 [MAX HUMMING] 1464 01:37:41,605 --> 01:37:43,273 [DOOR CLOSES] 1465 01:38:40,331 --> 01:38:42,540 MELANIE: Hi, Jacob. JACOB: Hey, Mel. 1466 01:38:43,667 --> 01:38:46,294 - What you got there? MELANIE: Broccoli. 1467 01:38:46,462 --> 01:38:49,047 JACOB: Holy moly. MELANIE: Ha, ha. 1468 01:38:54,553 --> 01:38:55,720 MAN: Marker. 1469 01:38:55,888 --> 01:38:57,889 He's in. He's in. 1470 01:38:59,016 --> 01:39:02,226 Looks like he's gonna enter the holy of holies. 1471 01:39:02,394 --> 01:39:04,646 - Huh? - Coitus uninterruptus. 1472 01:39:07,691 --> 01:39:09,442 LEMMON: I throw back what I'm not gonna eat. 1473 01:39:09,610 --> 01:39:13,529 Oh, yeah, like that 40-pound muskie you're always yakking about. 1474 01:39:13,697 --> 01:39:16,115 It's a shame that... That, um... 1475 01:39:16,283 --> 01:39:20,870 Your uncle has a fish market on 23rd Street and 14th Avenue. 1476 01:39:21,038 --> 01:39:23,998 - And, uh... LEMMON: 26th. 26th Street, you dummy. 1477 01:39:24,249 --> 01:39:26,334 - Ah, you schmuck. MAN: Marker. 1478 01:39:26,502 --> 01:39:31,464 Yeah. It looks like Chuck's slipping her the old salami. 1479 01:39:31,632 --> 01:39:34,634 - Oh, Jesus, Dad! - Ha, ha! 1480 01:39:36,971 --> 01:39:38,429 - Oh, hello. - Hello. 1481 01:39:38,597 --> 01:39:42,934 I'm Ronald Reagan. I used to be President of the United States. 1482 01:39:43,102 --> 01:39:45,645 - I live across the street over there. - Yes. Yes, come in. 1483 01:39:45,813 --> 01:39:49,649 MATTHAU: I was also in the movies for a while. I was a lousy actor. 1484 01:39:51,652 --> 01:39:56,030 Looks like Chuck's gonna put the hot dog in the bun. 1485 01:39:56,198 --> 01:39:59,367 - Oh, Jesus, Dad. - Oh. 1486 01:39:59,535 --> 01:40:02,412 - That's why I came down. - Yeah, well, spit it out. 1487 01:40:02,579 --> 01:40:04,664 - Don't shout. - I'm not shouting. 1488 01:40:04,832 --> 01:40:07,875 Bust my tuchus to get here on New Year's Eve... 1489 01:40:08,043 --> 01:40:11,004 ...or Christmas, or whatever the **** it is. 1490 01:40:11,171 --> 01:40:12,880 CREW: Ha-ha-ha! - And, uh... 1491 01:40:14,008 --> 01:40:17,760 Looks like Chuck's a tomcat on the prowl. 1492 01:40:17,928 --> 01:40:19,595 [MEOWS] 1493 01:40:19,763 --> 01:40:22,849 I got a pinched sciatica that would make your lumbago look like eye strain. 1494 01:40:23,017 --> 01:40:26,394 Pain. He... Is it...? Does he? 1495 01:40:26,562 --> 01:40:28,688 Would he? Is he... 1496 01:40:28,856 --> 01:40:30,273 - Yes, he is. - Is he...? 1497 01:40:31,734 --> 01:40:35,194 Looks like Chuck is taking the old log to the beaver. 1498 01:40:36,030 --> 01:40:39,198 Looks like Chuck's gonna bury his boner. 1499 01:40:39,366 --> 01:40:41,576 Yeah, that's right, you're a moron. 1500 01:40:41,744 --> 01:40:43,453 If you hadn't had Amy... 1501 01:40:43,620 --> 01:40:46,247 [SPEAKING GIBBERISH] 1502 01:40:46,415 --> 01:40:48,291 [BOTH SPEAKING GIBBERISH] 1503 01:40:53,714 --> 01:40:58,551 It looks like Chuck is taking the skinboat to tuna town. 1504 01:40:59,470 --> 01:41:04,307 Looks like Chuck is taking a ride on the wild bologna pony. 1505 01:41:06,852 --> 01:41:08,728 [TIRES SCREECH] 1506 01:41:16,028 --> 01:41:17,445 Who left? 1507 01:41:18,572 --> 01:41:21,074 [ALL LAUGHING] 1508 01:43:15,105 --> 01:43:17,857 If I knew there was a nude scene in this picture... 1509 01:43:18,025 --> 01:43:19,859 ...I would've asked for another million. 1510 01:43:20,027 --> 01:43:21,277 MAN: Slate it. 1511 01:43:22,154 --> 01:43:24,155 [ENGLISH SDH]