1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:42,376 People said there was a curse on the dukes of Bournemouth. 4 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:47,047 The seventh duke lost all his hair in a bet. 5 00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:52,386 In 1640, the fifth duke, while on a drinking spree, 6 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:55,556 went to church on a cow and set fire to the choir. 7 00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:58,934 He fled to France, where he lived and subsequently died, 8 00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:01,687 under the illusion that he was a footstool. 9 00:01:02,855 --> 00:01:04,897 The ninth duke married his horse 10 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:08,402 and scandalized society by riding his wife at Ascot, 11 00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:11,321 where she came in third in the second race. 12 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,157 In the 1920s, the 12th duke 13 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:17,828 was present at the opening of the tomb of King Tutankhamen. 14 00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:19,955 In the excitement which followed, 15 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:23,083 he was accidentally bitten on the buttock by a deranged donkey 16 00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,169 and died three days later. 17 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,796 Forty years later, the 14th duke 18 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,674 became a victim of the '60s. 19 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,427 He didn't die, but married an American, 20 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,721 a model, Lucinda, 21 00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:38,849 who, in those days, called herself "Available Space". 22 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:43,937 They had a baby 23 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:47,900 who would one day become the 15th duke of Bournemouth. 24 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,902 They christened him simply 25 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:53,947 Thomas Henry Butterfly Rainbow Peace. 26 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,044 He was accidentally abandoned in a restaurant. 27 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:12,591 Left behind like a tip. 28 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:19,765 I was so happy all of the time 29 00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:22,351 With my baby, I was oh-so fine 30 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:25,187 Oh, my God! We've forgotten the baby! 31 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,064 Oh, shit. 32 00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:30,484 By the time they remembered him, 33 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,819 he had disappeared in his Moses basket 34 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:35,572 with only a monogrammed blanket and a silver rattle. 35 00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,492 Darling, do you remember the baby's name? 36 00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:43,539 The curse of the Bournemouths had struck again. 37 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:50,921 Someone came and stole my baby away 38 00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:52,381 Hey, hey, hey, hey 39 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:57,135 Someone came and stole my whole life away 40 00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:01,682 I was so happy all of the time 41 00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:04,977 With my baby, I was oh-so fine 42 00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:08,313 But you came right along and knocked me for a song 43 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:11,775 You took everything that should be mine, mine, mine, mine 44 00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:16,029 Someone came and stole my happiness away 45 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:17,990 Hey, hey, hey, hey 46 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:22,786 Now somehow that someone's gonna have to pay 47 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:27,082 I lost my baby when he stepped in 48 00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:30,127 He took my life and everything 49 00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:33,589 He stole my baby, now I'm so blue 50 00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:37,009 Tell me what to do 51 00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:42,055 Someone came and stole my baby away 52 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:43,640 Hey, hey, hey, hey 53 00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:48,353 Someone came and stole my happiness today 54 00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:52,649 He came along, he did me wrong 55 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:56,486 Now my whole life's gone 56 00:03:56,528 --> 00:04:01,575 Someone came and stole my whole life away 57 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:04,578 He's gonna have to pay, some way 58 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,956 He's gonna have to pay, some day 59 00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,792 Yes, he's gonna have to pay 60 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,859 More reports of the puma 61 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,779 that has been terrorizing residents living on the Bournemouth estate. 62 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,698 Gita, turn that off. 63 00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:43,867 You'll be late for school. 64 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,036 Now, go to the bathroom and wash. 65 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,288 I can't, Mom. Ranji's in there. 66 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,542 Still? What does he do in there? 67 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,636 Ranjit! Come out of there at once! 68 00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:07,891 Ranjit, you'll be late for your work. 69 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,145 Ranjit Patel! Come out here at once! 70 00:05:13,272 --> 00:05:16,400 Oh, all right, Mum! I'm sorry. 71 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,360 Bye, everybody. 72 00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:19,695 Bye, Ranji. 73 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:20,821 See you later. 74 00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:27,327 I, too, suffered from the curse of the Bournemouths. 75 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,246 I work for them. 76 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,582 My name's Tommy Patel, 77 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:34,168 and I grew up here in Southall. 78 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:38,505 Every day, I commuted from our little corner shop 79 00:05:38,714 --> 00:05:42,092 to my city job, where I worked as a commodities broker 80 00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:44,678 on the trading floor of Bournemouth and Bournemouth. 81 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,431 Yeah, Nigel, no, no, don't go higher than a quarter of a million. 82 00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,850 Honestly, I promise you it'll never go higher than that. 83 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,935 Believe me. Trust me. Okay, bye. 84 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,021 Angela, where the hell is that coffee? 85 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,272 It's coming! 86 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,899 It should be here now! 87 00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,150 Yes, master. 88 00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:00,277 Come on, girl. Pull your finger out. 89 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,279 What have you been sitting on all weekend? 90 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,073 May I remind you of sexual harassment in the workplace? 91 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:08,285 Very sweet of you, my darling, but I'm far too busy right now. 92 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,121 I saw that! 93 00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:14,124 Don't have to worry about me, dear. I'm bisexual. 94 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,043 Whenever I want sex, I have to buy it. 95 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,754 Patel. I've got a job for you. 96 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,591 Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Andrews, I can't possibly. I'm right in the middle of a deal. 97 00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:24,551 Yes, obviously. Just drop it. 98 00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:26,470 I want you to meet this very important American 99 00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:27,971 and show him round for a few days. 100 00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,264 I'm far too busy, sir. 101 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,183 That is an order from the Chairman. 102 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,936 This is a VIP from New York. 103 00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:36,188 I want you to hold his hand and show him London. 104 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,065 Why me? 105 00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,775 Because I don't like you. 106 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,028 Bugger it up and you'll be out of a job. 107 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,115 Great. 108 00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:06,844 Excuse me. Could you help me, please? I want Conduit Street. 109 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:09,513 -Huh? -I'm trying to find Conduit Street. 110 00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:11,181 -Conduit Street? -Yeah. 111 00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:13,225 See the lights? 112 00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:14,518 Yeah. 113 00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:20,357 Morning. Morning, gents. 114 00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:22,818 Morning. 115 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,154 Conduit Street? 116 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,116 Get a taxi. 117 00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,578 Coming around. 118 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,540 Morning. Morning. 119 00:07:38,584 --> 00:07:40,043 Whoa! 120 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,172 I'm sorry. Oh! 121 00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:45,132 You all right? 122 00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:48,302 I don't know who you are, but this is not a skating rink, okay? 123 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:50,387 I'm Henry Martin. I was just following the line in the marble. 124 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,556 -Follow the line in the marble right outside. -It's so smooth. 125 00:07:52,598 --> 00:07:54,016 There's a little kiddie's park over the road... 126 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,434 Well, I'm from the New York office. 127 00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:56,727 And I'm supposed to meet somebody here and... 128 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,313 Oh, hi! Hello! I'm meeting you. 129 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:00,606 I'm Tommy Patel. 130 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,816 -Oh, hi, Tommy. -I love the skates! 131 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,359 Thanks. This marble is so smooth. 132 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,195 I've been on cobblestones and bridges all morning. 133 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,238 I mean, I don't know if these things are gonna catch on here 134 00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:10,199 'cause you really should be sober to do it. 135 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,700 But these are gonna revolutionize commuting. 136 00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:13,410 I beat the tube. I beat the traffic. 137 00:08:13,452 --> 00:08:15,621 There's no parking fees. You want to try them? 138 00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:17,497 Hey, you! 139 00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,291 It's all right, Jobson, he's with me. 140 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,876 I thought he might be. 141 00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:22,085 Hello, Jobson. 142 00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:23,921 Oh, my God, it's you, sir. 143 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,255 Didn't expect to see me, huh? 144 00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:26,381 No, I did not. 145 00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,091 I'll be around for a while, so... 146 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,344 So, oh! How nice. 147 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,639 Well, I'll leave you with Mr. Patel. 148 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:36,265 Good luck. 149 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:37,851 Okay, let's get to work. 150 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,437 Go upstairs to petty cash, get £200. You hungry? 151 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,272 -Yes. -Get about £300, okay? 152 00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:43,649 What's the name of the pub across the street? 153 00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:45,484 It's the Dick? The Dickhead? The Dick? 154 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,277 -The Richard III! -Richard III! 155 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:50,322 Go upstairs, get the money. And I'll meet you across the street in the pub. 156 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:51,657 In the pub? 157 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:56,370 It's a long way to go 158 00:08:57,079 --> 00:09:00,332 It's a long way to Tipperary 159 00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:03,794 To the sweetest girl I know 160 00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:07,172 Goodbye, Piccadilly 161 00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:10,342 Farewell, Leicester Square 162 00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:12,177 Tommy! That's my mate, Tommy. Say hi. 163 00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:13,512 Hi! 164 00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:14,638 Hi, hi. 165 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,432 -You got the money? -Yes, I got 300, cash. 166 00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,101 Give it to Mona, would you? 167 00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,644 -What? -Thanks, babe. 168 00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:27,526 What else you got for me? 169 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:28,819 I got some theater tickets. 170 00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:30,529 Wait, wait, let me guess. 171 00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:34,324 Cats, Les Mis, and... 172 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:36,201 What's the one with the helicopter? 173 00:09:36,285 --> 00:09:37,786 -Mrs. Saigon. -Mrs. Saigon. 174 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:38,954 Yeah. 175 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:40,372 Great! 176 00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,751 Who needs a pair? Who needs a pair? 177 00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:47,171 Couple of stalls. Unobstructed views of the chopper! 178 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,006 Hi. You, sir. Yes, sir. 179 00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:52,509 Fine, enjoy yourself. It's kind of a Sound of Music meets Platoon. 180 00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:56,180 Look at that! 50 quids, huh? Come on. Let's see a show! 181 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,767 Now, she was a great Hamlet. 182 00:10:00,851 --> 00:10:02,186 Sure. 183 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:05,022 I just don't remember the banana scene in Hamlet. 184 00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:06,773 Yeah, it's sort of a tropical interpretation. 185 00:10:06,857 --> 00:10:09,484 I'll tell you, if Shakespeare were alive today, he would die. 186 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:12,279 Oh, my darling 187 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:13,864 Oh, my darling 188 00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:17,034 Oh, my darling Clementine 189 00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,538 Look at that view, man. 190 00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:24,708 I feel great! 191 00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:30,547 ...two million pounds. I'm gonna buy two million pounds... 192 00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:33,008 Are you all right? 193 00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:34,551 No. 194 00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:38,347 What happened to you then last night? 195 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:44,603 He did. 196 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,022 -Morning, fellows. -Morning. 197 00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,024 Hey, Glen... 198 00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:51,652 Uh-oh. 199 00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:57,407 Patel? 200 00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:00,786 There is some money missing from petty cash. 201 00:11:00,911 --> 00:11:04,248 Ah! Yes, sir. I can explain that, sir. 202 00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:06,416 Did you take £500? 203 00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:08,043 No, sir. 204 00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,461 -No? -No, sir. 205 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:12,673 Yes, sir. 206 00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:17,052 Yes, I took £300, sir. 207 00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:18,762 Three? 208 00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,806 Three 209 00:11:21,974 --> 00:11:24,601 plus two equals... 210 00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,729 Equals five. 211 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,815 Five. I took £500, sir. 212 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,568 What did you want it for? 213 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,404 It was for the barmaid. 214 00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:39,616 It was... No, it was for the... 215 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:41,952 The bar... 216 00:11:41,994 --> 00:11:43,662 It was for the bar mitzvah. 217 00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:44,955 The what? 218 00:11:57,801 --> 00:12:02,848 I borrowed it. 219 00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:05,475 I borrowed it, sir. 220 00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:09,146 I see. And you will see the Chairman first thing on Monday morning. 221 00:12:09,605 --> 00:12:11,690 And I shall recommend that you're fired. 222 00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:15,152 Wait! I can explain everything, sir. 223 00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,072 Bloody Henry! 224 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:22,534 After all those years of crawling at the office, he got me fired! 225 00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,996 It was back to the comer shop. 226 00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:28,874 But the Hindu gods were smiling on me. 227 00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:33,670 For that weekend, fate kindly intervened. 228 00:12:34,505 --> 00:12:37,883 My boss, the Chairman and 14th duke of Bournemouth 229 00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:42,513 fell off the back of his yacht. 230 00:12:44,223 --> 00:12:47,684 The curse of the Bournemouths had struck again. 231 00:12:52,523 --> 00:12:53,857 Good luck. 232 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,610 When I reported for dismissal on Monday, 233 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,529 there was a new chairman. 234 00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:06,203 Hello, Tommy. 235 00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:08,664 Guess who's a duke? 236 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:11,375 Holy shit! 237 00:13:12,668 --> 00:13:15,170 -You are... -The 15th duke of Bournemouth. 238 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,132 My God! 239 00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:22,135 You lucky bastard! 240 00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,388 Congratulations! 241 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:25,722 Thanks, man. 242 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,391 I'm sorry about your father. 243 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:30,978 Oh, well, he was a mean son of a bitch. 244 00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:33,772 I never really got to know him. 245 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:37,901 He was uptight and emotionally dead, like all Brits. 246 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:39,653 Oh, no offense. 247 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,071 But you're American. 248 00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:43,699 Mom's American, sent me to school in the States. 249 00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:47,494 Didn't want me growing up a masturbating wreck from an English public school. 250 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,246 Why ever not, if you're gonna be a duke? 251 00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:51,123 Tommy, just because I've been made a duke 252 00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:52,916 doesn't mean anything's gonna change between us. 253 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,126 Get my drink, would you? 254 00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:56,086 -Hmm. -Hmm? 255 00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:00,966 Here they are, sir. 256 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:03,927 What the bloody hell are you doing in here? 257 00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:05,512 All right, here we go. 258 00:14:05,596 --> 00:14:07,055 You're both fired! 259 00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:08,807 Oh, dear. 260 00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:10,809 Shall I tell him? 261 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,394 No, I should tell him really, I guess. 262 00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:14,354 Oh, please. Can I tell him? 263 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:18,442 Mr. Andrews, this is the new duke of Bournemouth. 264 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:20,611 But you're a Yank! 265 00:14:21,153 --> 00:14:22,279 And you're history. 266 00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,615 -I'm what? -You're fired. 267 00:14:31,622 --> 00:14:34,291 Goodbye! Bye! Don't slam the door. 268 00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:37,419 Ha! Come on, let's have a drink. Let's celebrate. 269 00:14:37,461 --> 00:14:39,087 Congratulations, sir. 270 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,131 You can kiss ass later, Brittle. 271 00:14:41,298 --> 00:14:42,466 Thank you, sir. 272 00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:52,309 Tommy, this is my ancestral home. 273 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,645 What, Harrods? 274 00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:56,772 Oh, no, this telephone booth. 275 00:14:58,273 --> 00:15:00,025 -Cheers! -Still don't understand. 276 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,610 Read this. 277 00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:05,072 "The Bournemouth baby disappeared in his Moses basket, 278 00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:07,491 "with only a monogrammed blanket and a silver rattle." 279 00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,326 I am the Bournemouth baby. 280 00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:11,328 Oh. 281 00:15:11,495 --> 00:15:14,164 "Few days later, the baby was found in a telephone booth 282 00:15:14,248 --> 00:15:15,457 "outside Harrods." 283 00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:18,168 This is my first home. Now it's my fourth. 284 00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,170 Well, no, fifth if you include the south of France. 285 00:15:20,254 --> 00:15:22,756 There's the apartment in New York, too, but it's not much bigger than this. 286 00:15:23,382 --> 00:15:25,300 "The baby was found in his Moses basket." 287 00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:27,427 Mummy still has that Moses basket. 288 00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:29,304 Pity though, somebody stole the rattle. 289 00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:31,014 Solid silver, 1748. 290 00:15:31,849 --> 00:15:33,725 All right, you two, what's going on? 291 00:15:33,809 --> 00:15:35,185 Ah, Officer! 292 00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:37,062 We've decided to have dinner in another booth, 293 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,982 but the service here was fantastic! 294 00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:43,068 He's the Bournemouth baby. 295 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:46,363 Henry, you're not supposed to tip policemen. 296 00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:48,657 Well, I can't give him a drink. He's on duty. 297 00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:52,327 Sleep tight, gents. 298 00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:58,876 Oh. There it is. Come on. 299 00:16:03,547 --> 00:16:04,840 There's a step here now. 300 00:16:04,882 --> 00:16:06,633 Where? Oh, thank you. 301 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,767 Drunk again, sir? 302 00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:18,478 That's okay, butler. So are we. 303 00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:42,753 I was incredibly hungover at temple next day. 304 00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:47,549 And very late for Henry's father's funeral. 305 00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:02,397 Excuse me. 306 00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:09,112 Psst. Tommy! 307 00:17:10,239 --> 00:17:11,406 I got a seat for you here! 308 00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:14,367 Excuse me. 309 00:17:23,794 --> 00:17:25,045 Sorry I'm late. 310 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,381 That's okay. You haven't missed anything yet. 311 00:17:57,995 --> 00:17:59,955 You know what? I don't think I'm gonna come in. 312 00:17:59,997 --> 00:18:01,331 Oh, don't be shy. Come on! 313 00:18:01,373 --> 00:18:03,125 No, I'm not really dressed for this. 314 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:05,419 Look at the way he's dressed. Come on, come on. 315 00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:07,421 You'll have a great time. 316 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,966 Yes, I know. Thank you, General. It really is a shame. 317 00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:12,968 Anyway, look, there's football on in the lounge if you get bored. 318 00:18:13,010 --> 00:18:15,929 Folks, this way. Hi, Cybil. Hats over there, tea upstairs. 319 00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:20,601 Yes! 320 00:18:27,191 --> 00:18:29,985 And she says, "I'm not holding anything that rough without gloves." 321 00:18:33,030 --> 00:18:34,364 You want some? 322 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,326 Loosen up. Mingle. It's a party. 323 00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:39,995 Anyway, they start hiking... 324 00:18:49,922 --> 00:18:51,089 Don't I know you? 325 00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:52,758 No. 326 00:18:54,343 --> 00:18:55,928 You sure look familiar. Who are you? 327 00:18:56,470 --> 00:18:57,804 I'm a friend of Henry's. 328 00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:01,642 You remind me of my late husband. 329 00:19:02,059 --> 00:19:04,019 -I do? -Of course, I haven't seen you naked. 330 00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:05,521 No. 331 00:19:05,771 --> 00:19:07,231 He was hung like a badger. 332 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,234 Really? Is that good? 333 00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:12,861 Only if you're a badger. 334 00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:19,076 Mmm. You lucky boy. 335 00:19:20,077 --> 00:19:21,745 She fancies you. 336 00:19:21,787 --> 00:19:23,330 Really? How can you tell? 337 00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:24,831 She fancies everybody. 338 00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:27,876 That's Henry's mother, the black sheep to the family. 339 00:19:28,377 --> 00:19:29,920 She took so many strokes in the '60s, 340 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:31,588 they called her the U.S. Open. 341 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,507 A real man-eater. 342 00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:36,510 But perhaps you like being eaten. 343 00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,471 Kitty Farrant. 344 00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:41,557 Hi. My name's Tommy Patel. 345 00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:42,766 Pleased to meet you, Mr. Patel. 346 00:19:42,850 --> 00:19:43,934 Please, call me Tommy. 347 00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:46,228 No, I think Mr. Patel will do for now. 348 00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:49,773 I do love your flowers. What are you, an old hippie? 349 00:19:49,857 --> 00:19:51,692 No, I'm an Asian. 350 00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:53,735 Oh, of course, yes. 351 00:19:53,944 --> 00:19:55,946 I spotted that straight away. 352 00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:58,782 Blond hair, blue eyes. Typical Asian. 353 00:20:01,952 --> 00:20:03,745 Mmm-mmm. 354 00:20:06,999 --> 00:20:09,001 You're definitely for it. 355 00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:11,378 Oh, I think that's just a facial tic. 356 00:20:17,843 --> 00:20:19,261 Excuse me. 357 00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:24,308 Dreadful girl. Her father's in beer. 358 00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:26,518 Come. 359 00:20:28,187 --> 00:20:30,230 So, we meet again. 360 00:20:30,856 --> 00:20:32,191 Yes. 361 00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,403 Look at them. 362 00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:39,239 Don't the English ever enjoy themselves? 363 00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,201 Well, it is a funeral. 364 00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:43,702 It's not their funeral. 365 00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:46,830 No. Oh, I'm sorry about your husband. 366 00:20:46,872 --> 00:20:48,498 You didn't have to sleep with him. 367 00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:49,875 His idea of a good time in bed 368 00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:51,585 was three newspapers and a cup of tea. 369 00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:53,128 More tea, sir? 370 00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:54,296 No, thank you. 371 00:20:54,338 --> 00:20:56,590 He thought foreplay was a kind of golf. 372 00:20:57,132 --> 00:20:59,676 Really, a hot water bottle is more fun in bed than most Brits. 373 00:21:00,219 --> 00:21:02,137 It's a wonder they ever reproduce. 374 00:21:04,223 --> 00:21:05,641 I must mingle. 375 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,728 If there's anything you want, anything at all, 376 00:21:10,687 --> 00:21:12,105 just ask. 377 00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:17,861 They are all counted, sir. 378 00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:20,447 -Oh, I'm sorry... -No need to explain. 379 00:21:21,573 --> 00:21:24,368 I myself come from the lower classes. 380 00:21:25,911 --> 00:21:27,996 Oh, relax, would you? Keep the spoon. 381 00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:31,166 I've got thousands of them. He's such a creep, isn't he? 382 00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:38,382 Where did you get this, Ranjit? 383 00:21:38,799 --> 00:21:40,759 Henry gave it to me. It's nice, isn't it? 384 00:21:41,051 --> 00:21:42,719 What's the matter, Mum? You sick? 385 00:21:43,762 --> 00:21:45,013 No. 386 00:21:45,556 --> 00:21:47,850 It's time I told you certain things, Ranjit. 387 00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:49,476 Like what, Mum? 388 00:21:49,685 --> 00:21:51,895 Like why you don't like curry. 389 00:21:52,729 --> 00:21:54,857 And why you don't look like your father. 390 00:21:56,066 --> 00:21:58,569 Ranjit, you were adopted. 391 00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:01,071 You are not really a Patel. 392 00:22:02,239 --> 00:22:03,907 You mean I'm not really Asian? 393 00:22:05,075 --> 00:22:06,785 No, I'm sorry. 394 00:22:12,708 --> 00:22:16,211 Ranjit, the agency made us take you in. 395 00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:18,839 Because we needed the money. 396 00:22:18,922 --> 00:22:20,591 What, you mean you were paid to take me? 397 00:22:20,632 --> 00:22:22,926 Yes. £3.10 a week. 398 00:22:24,511 --> 00:22:25,846 Oh, great! 399 00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:29,474 Ranjit, when you came from the agency, 400 00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:31,894 you had only two possessions in the world. 401 00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:38,609 This monogrammed blanket, 402 00:22:39,610 --> 00:22:41,111 and this silver rattle. 403 00:22:52,247 --> 00:22:56,126 Yeah. You're adopted, all right. See? That's you. 404 00:22:57,961 --> 00:23:02,257 It says you were brought in by an anonymous woman reeking of garlic. 405 00:23:02,299 --> 00:23:03,675 Garlic? 406 00:23:03,967 --> 00:23:07,179 She insisted you be adopted by a member of the working class 407 00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:09,223 to save you from the curse of money. 408 00:23:09,723 --> 00:23:10,891 How very thoughtful. 409 00:23:11,016 --> 00:23:13,101 Yeah. Here we are. 410 00:23:13,810 --> 00:23:15,979 Indian family, name of Patel. 411 00:23:16,188 --> 00:23:19,483 And the lawyer who handled the case was called Shadgrind. 412 00:23:19,983 --> 00:23:21,235 Shadgrind? 413 00:23:21,735 --> 00:23:25,614 Shadgrind and Shadgrind, -68 -B, Billingsgate Court. 414 00:23:25,739 --> 00:23:26,740 And the date? 415 00:23:27,824 --> 00:23:29,117 Fifth of June. 416 00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:31,036 It's the same date. 417 00:23:31,662 --> 00:23:32,829 Pardon? 418 00:23:32,955 --> 00:23:34,581 There's no doubt about it. 419 00:23:34,915 --> 00:23:36,333 What, sir? 420 00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:38,836 I am the Bournemouth baby! 421 00:23:41,046 --> 00:23:42,589 You are a baby. 422 00:23:43,090 --> 00:23:44,341 I should be Henry! 423 00:23:46,885 --> 00:23:49,388 Delightful, really. You must have one of these. 424 00:23:51,098 --> 00:23:52,307 Mmm. 425 00:23:55,352 --> 00:23:56,687 Your Grace, 426 00:23:56,728 --> 00:23:58,355 my lords, ladies and gentlemen, 427 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,275 I give you the new duke! 428 00:24:01,859 --> 00:24:03,402 The new duke! 429 00:24:04,403 --> 00:24:05,779 Thank you. 430 00:24:05,946 --> 00:24:07,155 Speech! 431 00:24:07,406 --> 00:24:08,657 Oh, no, no, no, no. 432 00:24:08,699 --> 00:24:10,367 Excuse me. I have to go throw up. 433 00:24:10,826 --> 00:24:11,869 What? 434 00:24:11,952 --> 00:24:13,537 -Just a diet thing. -What? 435 00:24:13,704 --> 00:24:17,374 Well, first of all, let me say how truly appreciative I am that you are all here, 436 00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:20,878 to tell you how wonderfully comfortable I am 437 00:24:20,919 --> 00:24:23,172 in this, my new humble home. 438 00:24:25,424 --> 00:24:27,301 I'm really thrilled 439 00:24:28,510 --> 00:24:32,055 to know that this is all mine! 440 00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:40,731 They say it's lonely at the top. 441 00:24:41,190 --> 00:24:43,400 But it's a damn sight lonelier at the bottom. 442 00:24:44,193 --> 00:24:46,153 And I was tired of being there. 443 00:24:46,653 --> 00:24:48,238 I thought I'd do a little checking up 444 00:24:48,322 --> 00:24:51,074 to see just exactly what should have been mine. 445 00:24:58,498 --> 00:25:00,000 Shit! 446 00:25:02,336 --> 00:25:04,087 -Hello. -Hello, Jim. 447 00:25:04,838 --> 00:25:07,591 It was definitely time to seek legal advice. 448 00:25:12,596 --> 00:25:14,014 Ah! 449 00:25:14,598 --> 00:25:17,059 So, you were one of mine, were you? 450 00:25:17,100 --> 00:25:18,393 Yes, I was. 451 00:25:18,894 --> 00:25:22,773 There were so many of you orphans. Unwanted children all over the place. 452 00:25:22,898 --> 00:25:25,817 People went sex-mad in the '60s, you know? 453 00:25:26,485 --> 00:25:29,613 They seemed to do it just for fun. Weird. 454 00:25:30,656 --> 00:25:34,576 So, you believe yourself to be the duke of Bournemouth, do you? 455 00:25:34,952 --> 00:25:36,578 Yes, I'm absolutely convinced of it. 456 00:25:36,787 --> 00:25:40,874 Mmm-hmm. Well, legally, I'm afraid, you haven't a leg to stand on. 457 00:25:41,959 --> 00:25:43,502 But the blanket and the rattle. 458 00:25:43,752 --> 00:25:45,087 Ah, could have been stolen. 459 00:25:45,838 --> 00:25:47,130 Well, the date. 460 00:25:47,297 --> 00:25:48,799 It was coincidence. 461 00:25:49,842 --> 00:25:51,677 I'm sorry, Mr. Patel, 462 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,429 but where is the present duke supposed to have come from? 463 00:25:56,014 --> 00:25:57,599 Well, he must have been adopted. 464 00:25:58,308 --> 00:26:01,520 And that's what you'd tell the House of Lords Committee for Privileges, is it? 465 00:26:01,895 --> 00:26:03,397 -Yes. -Yes. 466 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:06,191 Mr. Patel, you cannot adopt a duke. 467 00:26:06,984 --> 00:26:08,861 That is the whole point. 468 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:16,368 Of course, it would be quite different if he died. 469 00:26:17,202 --> 00:26:18,495 Why? 470 00:26:19,288 --> 00:26:22,666 Well, you see, three dukedoms have died out in the past 10 years. 471 00:26:22,749 --> 00:26:25,836 There's Newcastle, Portland and Leeds. 472 00:26:26,003 --> 00:26:28,172 And the House of Lords don't like that, you see. 473 00:26:28,213 --> 00:26:30,841 The House of Lords like to keep the dukedoms ticking along. 474 00:26:31,133 --> 00:26:33,510 So if you turned up out of the blue, 475 00:26:33,552 --> 00:26:35,304 claiming that you were the true heir, 476 00:26:35,345 --> 00:26:38,015 you'd have a pretty good case, yes. 477 00:26:38,140 --> 00:26:40,642 If he was dead. 478 00:26:42,394 --> 00:26:43,645 Oh, I see. 479 00:26:45,355 --> 00:26:47,357 So unless there's an accident... 480 00:26:49,443 --> 00:26:50,986 -A what? -An accident. 481 00:26:52,446 --> 00:26:53,697 Accidents happen, don't they? 482 00:26:53,739 --> 00:26:56,867 You know, car crashes, shooting accidents, 483 00:26:56,909 --> 00:26:58,702 people falling out of windows, 484 00:26:59,369 --> 00:27:01,371 or drinking mercuric chloride in brandy, 485 00:27:01,413 --> 00:27:02,664 which not only conceals the taste, 486 00:27:02,706 --> 00:27:05,334 but also makes subsequent chemical detection practically impossible. 487 00:27:05,375 --> 00:27:07,419 That sort of thing, you know, accidents. 488 00:27:08,629 --> 00:27:09,671 An accident? 489 00:27:09,713 --> 00:27:11,048 Mmm. 490 00:27:11,173 --> 00:27:13,967 Though not much hope of that, is there? 491 00:27:15,719 --> 00:27:16,887 No, no, no. 492 00:27:17,095 --> 00:27:19,348 Of course, that's just a legal opinion. 493 00:27:20,974 --> 00:27:22,351 So... 494 00:27:24,228 --> 00:27:25,604 Big estate, is it? 495 00:27:25,687 --> 00:27:26,772 Oh, yes, vast. 496 00:27:26,855 --> 00:27:29,233 Pity. Well, goodbye. 497 00:27:30,108 --> 00:27:34,071 Unless, of course, anything happens, God forbid, in the accident department, 498 00:27:34,154 --> 00:27:36,740 in which case, au revoir. 499 00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:40,202 Thanks anyway. 500 00:27:42,788 --> 00:27:44,081 A duke. 501 00:27:44,540 --> 00:27:46,917 Should I look up, proudly, to be admired by the people? 502 00:27:48,085 --> 00:27:50,587 Or down, disdainfully, at the throng? 503 00:27:51,630 --> 00:27:53,423 Why don't I give you a few things? 504 00:27:53,465 --> 00:27:54,967 Thank you, Your Grace. 505 00:27:55,133 --> 00:27:56,927 -Too much? -Not at all, Your Grace. 506 00:27:59,137 --> 00:28:00,430 -Wonderful. -Really? 507 00:28:00,472 --> 00:28:01,974 -Really good. -What do you guys think? 508 00:28:02,724 --> 00:28:03,767 You still look like a dick. 509 00:28:03,851 --> 00:28:05,394 A cute dick, though. 510 00:28:06,603 --> 00:28:07,938 Take one of me in front of the fountains. 511 00:28:08,063 --> 00:28:10,107 Certainly, Your Grace. Wonderful! 512 00:28:11,984 --> 00:28:13,902 You know, I'm the first duke under 5'6". 513 00:28:13,944 --> 00:28:14,945 Really, Your Grace? 514 00:28:15,028 --> 00:28:17,155 Except for the third duke, who was beheaded. 515 00:28:18,532 --> 00:28:20,367 -Can you see the irises? -Yes, Your Grace. 516 00:28:20,450 --> 00:28:23,120 Let's do one with the pumas. No, no, no, let's do one with the house. 517 00:28:24,079 --> 00:28:26,790 It's supposed be a portrait, not a real-estate brochure. 518 00:28:27,583 --> 00:28:29,668 An American duke. Do you know how rare that is? 519 00:28:29,793 --> 00:28:33,005 Yes. Oh! I'd give anything to live here. 520 00:28:33,964 --> 00:28:36,133 Yes, I'm sure you will. 521 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,386 Well, anybody feel like a swim? 522 00:28:39,928 --> 00:28:41,555 Yes, I'll swim, Henry. 523 00:28:45,225 --> 00:28:47,769 And this is the great Hall of Saddlers, 524 00:28:47,811 --> 00:28:49,813 the ducal home of the Bournemouths. 525 00:28:50,314 --> 00:28:52,274 This is the family coat of arms. 526 00:28:52,316 --> 00:28:54,443 And there you can see the distinctive puma, 527 00:28:54,651 --> 00:28:56,445 which has been the family emblem 528 00:28:56,486 --> 00:28:58,697 since the third duke, Tristram, 529 00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:02,159 went to South America, where he lost a leg on safari. 530 00:29:02,284 --> 00:29:04,077 -Oh, very careless of him. 531 00:29:04,328 --> 00:29:07,372 This picture over here is Lady Virginia Martin, 532 00:29:07,915 --> 00:29:10,125 who gave her all for charity. 533 00:29:11,210 --> 00:29:13,795 And this is the long-suffering Duchess Diana 534 00:29:14,338 --> 00:29:15,923 with her parrot. 535 00:29:16,882 --> 00:29:18,842 And this is Colonel Dicky Martin, 536 00:29:18,926 --> 00:29:21,345 who, as a result of a famous military operation, 537 00:29:21,637 --> 00:29:23,347 became Mrs. Betty Young. 538 00:29:24,473 --> 00:29:27,392 This is the register of the births of the Bournemouths. 539 00:29:27,684 --> 00:29:29,728 And here you can see the latest heir, 540 00:29:29,811 --> 00:29:32,314 Thomas Henry Butterfly Rainbow Peace Martin. 541 00:29:47,538 --> 00:29:49,373 Good afternoon, everyone. 542 00:29:50,916 --> 00:29:53,794 I'm Henry Martin, the 15th Duke of Bournemouth. 543 00:29:55,170 --> 00:29:56,547 Now, on other tours, 544 00:29:56,588 --> 00:29:59,550 I know you don't even get to see a real duke, let alone meet one. 545 00:29:59,716 --> 00:30:00,968 So this is your lucky day. 546 00:30:01,051 --> 00:30:03,554 I want to begin by shaking everybody's hands. Hello. 547 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:05,556 Just a little old custom from back home in the States. 548 00:30:05,597 --> 00:30:08,183 Don't be afraid. You're gonna be able to tell all your friends and families 549 00:30:08,225 --> 00:30:09,810 that you shook hands with a real, live duke. 550 00:30:09,893 --> 00:30:12,563 Take a break, Watson. Now, I'm gonna show you parts of this house 551 00:30:12,646 --> 00:30:14,731 -that are never before seen on this tour. -But... 552 00:30:14,940 --> 00:30:17,067 You know what? I'll answer all the questions in a little while. 553 00:30:17,150 --> 00:30:18,694 But for now, follow me. 554 00:30:18,902 --> 00:30:23,407 This is the white china puma in here which is worth over £30,000. 555 00:30:26,743 --> 00:30:27,953 Oy! 556 00:30:28,829 --> 00:30:30,330 Where are you going? 557 00:30:31,915 --> 00:30:33,250 Come back! 558 00:30:34,459 --> 00:30:37,004 You can't go in there. It's private apartments. 559 00:30:40,174 --> 00:30:41,592 Come back! 560 00:30:42,467 --> 00:30:43,760 Bollocks! 561 00:30:53,645 --> 00:30:56,064 At last, the penny dropped. 562 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,567 The Duchess was my real mother. 563 00:30:59,193 --> 00:31:00,777 Butler, I'm just going for a swim. 564 00:31:01,069 --> 00:31:02,279 Very well, Your Grace. 565 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:26,553 Oh, Rainbow Peace. 566 00:31:30,432 --> 00:31:32,559 Oh, my little Rainbow Peace. 567 00:31:35,604 --> 00:31:37,147 Where are you? 568 00:31:54,331 --> 00:31:56,667 One move and I'll blow your balls off! 569 00:31:56,708 --> 00:31:59,336 Please. Stop. 570 00:32:00,212 --> 00:32:02,214 Don't! No, wait! 571 00:32:02,297 --> 00:32:05,175 Oh! Why, Mr. Patel, it's... 572 00:32:05,425 --> 00:32:06,552 It's you. 573 00:32:07,177 --> 00:32:09,179 Yes. Hello. 574 00:32:10,848 --> 00:32:12,474 I was just... 575 00:32:13,851 --> 00:32:15,394 Um, I was... 576 00:32:16,103 --> 00:32:19,022 Relax. It's okay. I know what you want. 577 00:32:19,898 --> 00:32:21,024 You do? 578 00:32:21,149 --> 00:32:22,860 Clear as the nose on your face. 579 00:32:24,486 --> 00:32:25,821 Oh! 580 00:32:26,738 --> 00:32:29,241 The nose. Yes, I suppose it is. 581 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,202 You can tell a lot by the nose. 582 00:32:32,244 --> 00:32:34,580 I took one look at it and I knew at once. 583 00:32:35,247 --> 00:32:38,375 Ah, that's great. I'm so happy. 584 00:32:38,542 --> 00:32:39,710 So, what do we do now? 585 00:32:39,751 --> 00:32:42,713 It's pretty obvious, isn't it? We're both adults. 586 00:32:42,754 --> 00:32:44,047 You mean, we go for a swim? 587 00:32:44,131 --> 00:32:46,758 Come on. Don't play the little innocent with me, darling. 588 00:32:46,842 --> 00:32:48,177 I think I'm missing something. 589 00:32:48,218 --> 00:32:50,053 Oh, I'll be the judge of that. 590 00:32:50,387 --> 00:32:52,431 -Come on, let's do it now! -Do what? 591 00:32:52,723 --> 00:32:54,850 Ah, does nobody do it in this damn country? 592 00:32:54,892 --> 00:32:56,101 -Get your pants off. -Stop! 593 00:32:56,185 --> 00:32:58,395 Stop? You can't just arouse a woman, 594 00:32:58,478 --> 00:33:00,063 and then yell stop, even if you are English. 595 00:33:00,522 --> 00:33:02,524 Now, if you'll follow me through this withdrawing room. 596 00:33:02,566 --> 00:33:04,735 I know what you're thinking, but the origin of drawing room 597 00:33:04,776 --> 00:33:06,278 is to withdraw. 598 00:33:06,361 --> 00:33:08,363 Because it is the room to which you withdrew. 599 00:33:09,781 --> 00:33:11,700 -Gotcha! Mummy? 600 00:33:12,284 --> 00:33:14,119 -Oh, my God, it's Henry. -What? 601 00:33:15,245 --> 00:33:16,622 One sec. Mummy! 602 00:33:18,790 --> 00:33:20,334 Ah! She's not there. Come on in. 603 00:33:21,168 --> 00:33:24,671 These are the private chambers of the Duchess of Bournemouth, 604 00:33:24,963 --> 00:33:27,799 never before seen by you, the public. 605 00:33:29,092 --> 00:33:30,594 Exciting, isn't it? 606 00:33:30,761 --> 00:33:33,472 Now, I want to show you something absolutely fascinating. 607 00:33:33,555 --> 00:33:35,849 -Oh, bitte. Die Toiletten, bitte. -What? 608 00:33:35,933 --> 00:33:37,309 Over there. 609 00:33:37,976 --> 00:33:40,103 This is the very basket 610 00:33:40,145 --> 00:33:42,773 in which I was lost and found again. 611 00:33:43,607 --> 00:33:44,775 I guess that kind of makes me sort of 612 00:33:44,858 --> 00:33:47,402 the Moses of the English aristocracy, wouldn't you say? 613 00:34:02,835 --> 00:34:04,336 Feel free to take a picture. 614 00:34:05,045 --> 00:34:07,965 These, of course, will be available on postcards soon, but for now... 615 00:34:21,978 --> 00:34:24,063 Here's one with the little slippers. Lace, of course. 616 00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:48,880 Note the official coat of arms of the family on the upper of the boot. 617 00:34:49,297 --> 00:34:50,716 Ah, good! 618 00:34:51,341 --> 00:34:52,926 Now a rare treat. 619 00:34:53,260 --> 00:34:55,637 Authentic 19th century plumbing. 620 00:34:56,847 --> 00:34:58,682 -Come on in, there's room for everyone. 621 00:34:58,724 --> 00:35:00,767 -I was just, you know... 622 00:35:02,352 --> 00:35:03,604 Shit! 623 00:35:21,330 --> 00:35:23,832 The next day, I went fishing for evidence. 624 00:35:24,416 --> 00:35:27,044 Let's have a look. The Bournemouth baby. 625 00:35:27,127 --> 00:35:29,213 Yes, I remember the case very well. 626 00:35:30,088 --> 00:35:32,674 There was definitely something odd going on. 627 00:35:33,884 --> 00:35:35,677 -Odd? -Mmm. 628 00:35:36,053 --> 00:35:38,055 I was on duty at the time. 629 00:35:38,180 --> 00:35:39,306 That's not him. 630 00:35:39,389 --> 00:35:40,599 Are you sure, Your Grace? 631 00:35:40,682 --> 00:35:42,893 Of course I'm sure. He's not even circumcised. 632 00:35:42,935 --> 00:35:44,478 Excuse us a moment. 633 00:35:44,561 --> 00:35:45,812 What? 634 00:35:48,982 --> 00:35:50,734 Okay, okay, all right, all right. 635 00:35:52,152 --> 00:35:53,278 She's very upset. 636 00:35:53,362 --> 00:35:54,613 Naturally, sir. 637 00:35:54,738 --> 00:35:56,406 Let's have another look, shall we? 638 00:35:56,573 --> 00:35:57,866 All right, it's him. 639 00:35:57,908 --> 00:36:00,827 Yes, right. Call off the search. The baby's found. 640 00:36:04,748 --> 00:36:07,084 I often wondered what happened to the other little baby. 641 00:36:07,251 --> 00:36:08,919 'Cause, of course, we had to close the file on him, 642 00:36:08,961 --> 00:36:10,295 now that he was no longer missing. 643 00:36:10,379 --> 00:36:11,755 Poor lad. 644 00:36:12,256 --> 00:36:14,383 A lady comes to see me a few days later. 645 00:36:14,758 --> 00:36:16,176 Where have they taken him? 646 00:36:16,593 --> 00:36:18,846 "Who?" says I. -The Harrods baby. 647 00:36:19,096 --> 00:36:21,682 "Oh," says I. "He went back to his rightful home." 648 00:36:21,974 --> 00:36:23,100 Where might that be? 649 00:36:23,225 --> 00:36:25,853 Says the lady. "Saddlers, the ducal house," I tells her. 650 00:36:25,936 --> 00:36:27,271 He's going to be a duke. 651 00:36:28,146 --> 00:36:29,439 Thank you, Constable. 652 00:36:29,481 --> 00:36:32,025 She said finally and writes down the address. 653 00:36:32,359 --> 00:36:33,819 Did she smell of garlic? 654 00:36:34,027 --> 00:36:35,696 Knock your head off. 655 00:36:36,113 --> 00:36:37,656 She must have been his real mother. 656 00:36:37,781 --> 00:36:39,783 I wonder what ever happened to her. 657 00:36:40,492 --> 00:36:43,954 Your favorite, eggs, Italian style. 658 00:36:44,079 --> 00:36:46,039 Oh, Bully, I've missed this! Wait till you guys taste this! 659 00:36:46,123 --> 00:36:47,791 This is the best dish in the world. 660 00:36:47,875 --> 00:36:49,585 Smells delicious. What's in it? 661 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:52,296 It's the garlic. That's the secret. 662 00:36:53,297 --> 00:36:54,381 More wine, Mrs. Bullock? 663 00:36:54,590 --> 00:36:57,301 Oh, no. You'll be getting me tipsy. 664 00:36:58,552 --> 00:37:01,972 Still, to think that I should live to see the day that he's a duke. 665 00:37:02,472 --> 00:37:03,682 To you, Bully. 666 00:37:03,765 --> 00:37:05,017 Cheers. 667 00:37:05,184 --> 00:37:07,436 Oh, my little baby! 668 00:37:07,936 --> 00:37:09,146 Please. 669 00:37:10,147 --> 00:37:12,482 Just like my own flesh and blood he is. 670 00:37:12,983 --> 00:37:14,818 Bless his little cotton socks. 671 00:37:15,319 --> 00:37:18,197 I missed him so when they packed him off to America. 672 00:37:18,572 --> 00:37:20,157 How long have you been here, Mrs. Bullock? 673 00:37:20,616 --> 00:37:22,284 Ever since he was a baby. 674 00:37:22,659 --> 00:37:24,745 Such a sweet little baby he was. 675 00:37:24,828 --> 00:37:26,580 No trouble at all. 676 00:37:27,456 --> 00:37:29,499 And such a difficult birth. 677 00:37:30,167 --> 00:37:32,836 And to think now he's come into his fortune. 678 00:37:34,254 --> 00:37:36,215 Ah, there's your cab, Tommy. Can you drop me off? 679 00:37:36,298 --> 00:37:37,299 Yeah, sure. 680 00:37:38,258 --> 00:37:39,593 You're not going now, are you, Kit? 681 00:37:39,801 --> 00:37:41,428 Big day tomorrow. 682 00:37:42,221 --> 00:37:43,847 Am I on your way? 683 00:37:43,972 --> 00:37:46,016 Everything's on the way to Southall. 684 00:37:51,522 --> 00:37:53,607 Well, would you like to come up for a coffee, 685 00:37:53,690 --> 00:37:56,109 or would you just like to come up and screw me? 686 00:37:57,611 --> 00:37:59,363 Coffee would be lovely. Thank you. 687 00:37:59,446 --> 00:38:02,282 You needn't wait. I'll make sure he gets to bed. 688 00:38:04,201 --> 00:38:05,869 Keep the change. 689 00:38:19,591 --> 00:38:20,968 Well? 690 00:38:21,635 --> 00:38:23,303 Are you just gonna stand there drooling, 691 00:38:23,387 --> 00:38:24,513 or are you going to come in? 692 00:38:26,723 --> 00:38:28,517 I think I'll just drool for a little. 693 00:38:31,019 --> 00:38:32,354 -Oh! 694 00:38:32,437 --> 00:38:34,982 What's that naughty man doing there? 695 00:38:37,150 --> 00:38:38,819 Just having a coffee! 696 00:38:54,877 --> 00:38:56,044 Now, 697 00:38:57,087 --> 00:38:58,714 how would you like your coffee? 698 00:38:59,590 --> 00:39:01,049 With or without? 699 00:39:01,967 --> 00:39:03,177 Mmm? 700 00:39:18,192 --> 00:39:19,610 Oh, Kitty. 701 00:40:06,823 --> 00:40:08,325 Well, hello. 702 00:40:08,367 --> 00:40:10,744 So, you woke up finally. 703 00:40:10,827 --> 00:40:13,914 Kitty, you are magnificent. 704 00:40:13,997 --> 00:40:15,666 I know. 705 00:40:15,707 --> 00:40:18,085 You're gonna have to marry me now. 706 00:40:18,168 --> 00:40:20,337 -Don't be silly. -I'm serious. 707 00:40:20,379 --> 00:40:23,632 Oh, be real, Tommy. You don't have any money. 708 00:40:23,674 --> 00:40:26,552 And besides, I'm already engaged. 709 00:40:27,219 --> 00:40:28,303 You're what? 710 00:40:28,345 --> 00:40:29,721 You were my final fling. 711 00:40:30,305 --> 00:40:31,473 I was what? 712 00:40:31,807 --> 00:40:34,017 Mmm. Sex before marriage is so much more exciting 713 00:40:34,601 --> 00:40:36,019 with somebody else, don't you think? 714 00:40:37,271 --> 00:40:38,689 What do you mean, "Somebody else"? 715 00:40:38,897 --> 00:40:41,316 You were perfect for the job. 716 00:40:42,025 --> 00:40:43,110 The job? 717 00:40:43,777 --> 00:40:45,612 Oh, come on, Tommy. 718 00:40:45,696 --> 00:40:47,322 I needed someone I could trust. 719 00:40:47,739 --> 00:40:49,825 Someone who wouldn't tell Henry. 720 00:40:50,325 --> 00:40:51,785 What the hell's Henry got to do with it? 721 00:40:51,910 --> 00:40:54,746 I'm marrying Henry, stupid. 722 00:40:55,664 --> 00:40:57,541 I'm going to be a duchess! 723 00:40:58,917 --> 00:41:01,545 Look! It's in all the newspapers. 724 00:41:09,553 --> 00:41:10,637 You're marrying Henry. 725 00:41:10,971 --> 00:41:12,639 Now, don't be jealous. 726 00:41:15,767 --> 00:41:19,188 Jealous? Why would I be jealous of Henry? 727 00:41:19,938 --> 00:41:24,359 He only has my house, my title, my horses, my cars, 728 00:41:24,401 --> 00:41:25,986 and now he's got you. 729 00:41:26,570 --> 00:41:27,863 I'll kill him. 730 00:41:29,615 --> 00:41:31,074 -Hello. 731 00:41:31,867 --> 00:41:32,910 Oh, my God! 732 00:41:33,327 --> 00:41:34,536 -Into the cupboard! -What? 733 00:41:34,578 --> 00:41:35,746 Into the cupboard, quick! 734 00:41:35,787 --> 00:41:36,997 -Why? -It's Henry! 735 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:38,248 -What are you doing? -Quick! 736 00:41:38,332 --> 00:41:39,750 Stop! Don't be ridiculous! 737 00:41:39,791 --> 00:41:41,710 Oh, please, Tommy! He can't possibly find you here! 738 00:41:41,752 --> 00:41:42,836 He'll never understand. 739 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:44,963 -Forget it! -Oh, please, Tommy! Just for me! 740 00:41:45,047 --> 00:41:47,007 -Oh, but, Kitty! -Oh, shut up! 741 00:41:47,424 --> 00:41:48,509 Ow! 742 00:41:50,093 --> 00:41:51,845 Kitty, I'm not gonna go along with this. 743 00:41:51,929 --> 00:41:53,639 I'm gonna face Henry and I'm gonna tell him... 744 00:41:53,722 --> 00:41:56,350 Tommy, if you care about me, you won't say another word. 745 00:41:56,433 --> 00:41:58,018 -Now, I'll handle this. 746 00:41:59,311 --> 00:42:00,812 Of course I understand. 747 00:42:00,896 --> 00:42:03,315 You're lovely. You're a wonderful lover. 748 00:42:03,398 --> 00:42:05,317 -Thanks. Bye. 749 00:42:06,777 --> 00:42:07,986 Ow! 750 00:42:12,908 --> 00:42:13,992 Darling! 751 00:42:14,076 --> 00:42:15,327 Hello, kitten. 752 00:42:18,288 --> 00:42:20,165 I thought we were meeting at the restaurant. 753 00:42:20,249 --> 00:42:22,125 Well, I thought I'd surprise you. 754 00:42:22,167 --> 00:42:23,710 -You alone? -No. 755 00:42:24,294 --> 00:42:26,088 I've got a man in here. 756 00:42:26,129 --> 00:42:27,840 You're very funny. 757 00:42:28,257 --> 00:42:29,591 I was on the phone. 758 00:42:29,633 --> 00:42:31,385 -Did you see the papers? -Yes. 759 00:42:31,468 --> 00:42:33,387 I'm so excited, Henry. 760 00:42:37,140 --> 00:42:38,809 -Tommy. -What? 761 00:42:38,851 --> 00:42:40,978 I am gonna ask Tommy to be my best man. 762 00:42:41,019 --> 00:42:44,356 Great. Yes, Tommy'd make an excellent best man. 763 00:42:44,439 --> 00:42:45,774 That's what I thought, too. 764 00:42:45,816 --> 00:42:48,151 Can we eat, darling? I'm starving. 765 00:42:48,569 --> 00:42:50,821 I'm not leaving now, Kitty. We're engaged, remember? 766 00:42:50,904 --> 00:42:52,114 Oh, no, Henry, not now. 767 00:42:52,155 --> 00:42:53,365 Oh, yes, Kitty, right now. 768 00:42:53,448 --> 00:42:54,575 Shouldn't we have lunch first? 769 00:42:54,658 --> 00:42:56,827 Kitty, I'm a red-blooded American. I have lunch after. 770 00:42:56,910 --> 00:42:57,995 Yes. 771 00:42:58,036 --> 00:43:01,707 Kitty, I've waited until we were officially engaged. Now, get on the bed. Come on. 772 00:43:08,046 --> 00:43:09,256 Ow! 773 00:43:09,339 --> 00:43:11,091 Gosh, Henry, that's huge! 774 00:43:12,634 --> 00:43:15,971 That is the biggest one I have ever seen. 775 00:43:16,013 --> 00:43:18,932 And the jeweler says if you don't like the setting, you can change it. 776 00:43:19,016 --> 00:43:20,017 Oh! 777 00:43:22,853 --> 00:43:24,688 Oh, God! 778 00:43:25,439 --> 00:43:27,441 Oh, it's magnificent! 779 00:43:29,484 --> 00:43:32,613 Oh, Henry. Gorgeous! 780 00:43:33,322 --> 00:43:34,489 Oh, Henry. 781 00:43:35,824 --> 00:43:37,326 Oh, Henry. 782 00:43:44,041 --> 00:43:46,043 I'll kill him! 783 00:43:46,793 --> 00:43:49,087 Well, I should put some trousers on first! 784 00:43:50,881 --> 00:43:52,049 Dino! 785 00:43:55,010 --> 00:43:58,180 Don't look! How disgusting! 786 00:43:58,222 --> 00:44:01,308 What a dreadful man! Not a stitch on! 787 00:44:01,558 --> 00:44:03,894 I felt utterly humiliated. 788 00:44:04,311 --> 00:44:07,481 And all I could think of was revenge. 789 00:44:19,076 --> 00:44:21,828 Get some lessons, will you? Who is this guy? 790 00:44:40,097 --> 00:44:42,266 Yes! Yes! 791 00:44:44,101 --> 00:44:47,271 The next weekend, Henry invited me down to Saddlers. 792 00:44:48,063 --> 00:44:51,066 But for an accident, it would have been mine. 793 00:44:52,609 --> 00:44:55,153 Perhaps with another accident, 794 00:44:55,529 --> 00:44:57,281 it still could be. 795 00:44:59,116 --> 00:45:00,784 Great car, Tom! 796 00:45:01,535 --> 00:45:04,121 Thanks for the other day. You saved my life. 797 00:45:04,162 --> 00:45:06,248 Tommy! I'm so glad you're here. 798 00:45:06,290 --> 00:45:08,166 Come on in. I'm dying to show you the house! 799 00:45:08,250 --> 00:45:11,295 I'm afraid one of the pumas has escaped again, Your Grace. 800 00:45:11,378 --> 00:45:13,297 Well, go and catch it. What is the problem? 801 00:45:13,422 --> 00:45:15,048 Can we find a cage that works? 802 00:45:15,674 --> 00:45:18,635 I've put you in the blue room. Next to mine. 803 00:45:20,971 --> 00:45:24,308 I'd lock your door. You'd be safer with the puma. 804 00:45:28,812 --> 00:45:31,607 I prepared Henry a lethal cocktail 805 00:45:32,149 --> 00:45:35,527 of mercuric chloride laced with brandy. 806 00:45:38,363 --> 00:45:39,990 Oh. It's you, sir. 807 00:45:40,032 --> 00:45:41,158 Good evening, Mrs. Bullock. 808 00:45:41,575 --> 00:45:42,951 Do you need something, sir? 809 00:45:43,327 --> 00:45:46,496 No, thank you, Mrs. Bullock. I have everything I need. 810 00:45:53,837 --> 00:45:54,838 I think so, Henry. 811 00:45:55,547 --> 00:45:57,341 Yeah, it's great, isn't it? 812 00:46:02,095 --> 00:46:03,680 Pity you don't ride, Tom. 813 00:46:03,764 --> 00:46:05,682 Hey, Tommy, Kitty's great in the saddle, isn't she? 814 00:46:05,933 --> 00:46:07,518 Yeah, she certainly is. 815 00:46:08,018 --> 00:46:10,020 I'm sure the Duchess will look after you. 816 00:46:10,812 --> 00:46:11,855 Ow! 817 00:46:14,358 --> 00:46:16,485 -Just for you. -Cheers. 818 00:46:17,152 --> 00:46:18,695 -Later, darling. -Mmm-hmm. 819 00:46:22,908 --> 00:46:25,869 Here you are, Henry. A little thank-you from me. 820 00:46:27,037 --> 00:46:28,539 What a super pal you are. 821 00:46:28,830 --> 00:46:30,582 That's a thoughtful gift, Tom. 822 00:46:30,666 --> 00:46:32,376 A little drink to help you on your way. 823 00:46:32,793 --> 00:46:34,920 Very sweet of you. Cheers. 824 00:46:35,587 --> 00:46:36,839 Bye. 825 00:46:41,677 --> 00:46:43,178 Milord! 826 00:46:48,559 --> 00:46:52,980 Who hath created all creatures great and small, 827 00:46:53,063 --> 00:46:56,483 grant that we may find this day, 828 00:46:56,567 --> 00:47:00,529 one, or even two that we may chase 829 00:47:00,904 --> 00:47:05,117 and destroy, to Thy almighty purpose. 830 00:47:05,242 --> 00:47:06,577 Amen. 831 00:47:06,660 --> 00:47:09,538 Hunting's immoral! It degrades foxes! 832 00:47:10,038 --> 00:47:11,832 Freedom for vermin! 833 00:47:18,005 --> 00:47:19,423 Don't come near me! 834 00:47:32,686 --> 00:47:34,354 -No, wait! -What for? 835 00:47:35,397 --> 00:47:36,815 Fascist pig! 836 00:47:47,826 --> 00:47:49,161 He's dead. 837 00:47:52,497 --> 00:47:53,749 Pull! 838 00:47:58,128 --> 00:47:59,546 Wow! 839 00:47:59,630 --> 00:48:01,423 Wow, you're good! 840 00:48:02,633 --> 00:48:04,134 Your turn, sir. 841 00:48:08,972 --> 00:48:10,349 -Pull? -Yes, sir. 842 00:48:10,432 --> 00:48:12,059 Pull! 843 00:48:16,980 --> 00:48:18,482 Was that close? 844 00:48:18,565 --> 00:48:20,317 Oh, Henry, bad luck. 845 00:48:21,235 --> 00:48:24,613 Have another go, darling. Go on. 846 00:48:24,655 --> 00:48:26,365 Give me another gun. I gotta hit something. 847 00:48:26,448 --> 00:48:28,158 Let me just keep trying until I get it. 848 00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:32,412 I, uh, suggest the eyes open, sir. 849 00:48:35,249 --> 00:48:36,416 Pull! 850 00:48:41,004 --> 00:48:42,089 Pull! 851 00:48:52,599 --> 00:48:54,643 -Great shot, Henry! -Well played, sir! 852 00:49:09,533 --> 00:49:10,701 Mummy! 853 00:49:11,368 --> 00:49:14,204 I was just showing Mr. Brittle the view. 854 00:49:17,291 --> 00:49:20,002 So far, Henry's luck had held. 855 00:49:20,419 --> 00:49:22,629 But could he survive the wedding? 856 00:49:46,069 --> 00:49:48,780 Distasteful though a stag night is, 857 00:49:48,864 --> 00:49:51,909 it gave me a chance to get Henry plastered. 858 00:50:00,250 --> 00:50:03,170 Doreen had been a triumph as Hamlet. 859 00:50:03,253 --> 00:50:06,548 Now she played the naughty bride to perfection. 860 00:50:07,257 --> 00:50:10,552 Unlike Doreen, I had something up my sleeve. 861 00:50:44,670 --> 00:50:46,797 It was "Good night, Henry". 862 00:50:47,339 --> 00:50:50,551 He should run out of gas somewhere over the North Sea. 863 00:51:12,656 --> 00:51:14,867 Was it you? No! 864 00:51:30,799 --> 00:51:33,093 He's come back! 865 00:51:38,223 --> 00:51:39,474 Wow! 866 00:51:41,351 --> 00:51:44,021 Sit down! 867 00:51:47,691 --> 00:51:49,276 Where the hell is he? 868 00:51:49,359 --> 00:51:51,737 Um... Oh, I have no idea. 869 00:51:51,820 --> 00:51:54,448 Perhaps he's changed his mind. 870 00:51:54,531 --> 00:51:56,033 Just a thought. 871 00:51:59,870 --> 00:52:02,206 Do sit down, ladies and gentlemen. 872 00:52:02,789 --> 00:52:04,875 Hey! Whose bike is this? 873 00:52:04,917 --> 00:52:05,959 It's my bike. 874 00:52:06,043 --> 00:52:07,669 Great. There you go. 875 00:52:09,171 --> 00:52:10,672 Hey! I've got a better bike! 876 00:52:10,714 --> 00:52:13,634 I've got a better bike at home for you! 877 00:52:15,385 --> 00:52:16,553 Tommy. 878 00:52:16,595 --> 00:52:19,681 Don't worry. I'm sure Henry will surface sooner or later. 879 00:52:20,682 --> 00:52:23,060 Hey! I'm here! 880 00:52:25,312 --> 00:52:29,024 I made it! Darling, I'm so sorry. 881 00:52:29,608 --> 00:52:31,944 Please forgive me. I know you will. 882 00:52:32,027 --> 00:52:33,445 -But what a party, Tommy! 883 00:52:33,529 --> 00:52:34,947 What a best man you've been! 884 00:52:35,030 --> 00:52:38,534 Incredible. The food, the fish, the chips! The guys! Everything. 885 00:52:38,575 --> 00:52:41,578 Tommy. Doreen was incredible. Okay? 886 00:52:41,954 --> 00:52:43,455 All right, let's get married! 887 00:52:50,337 --> 00:52:51,922 Sorry I'm late, folks! 888 00:52:53,382 --> 00:52:54,842 Everybody still. 889 00:53:00,848 --> 00:53:02,432 -Thank you. 890 00:53:06,770 --> 00:53:08,522 Now one with the Duchess, please. 891 00:53:10,190 --> 00:53:12,234 I think he means me. 892 00:53:17,573 --> 00:53:20,784 Congratulations. You finally made it. 893 00:53:21,326 --> 00:53:23,245 You're too kind, 894 00:53:23,287 --> 00:53:24,705 Mummy. 895 00:53:27,958 --> 00:53:30,002 Goodbye, everyone. Thanks so much. Thanks. 896 00:53:30,085 --> 00:53:31,628 Come on, darling. Here you go. 897 00:53:32,754 --> 00:53:33,755 Whoa! 898 00:53:34,506 --> 00:53:36,049 Thanks again. 899 00:53:37,968 --> 00:53:39,803 Bye-bye, everyone! Whoa! 900 00:53:40,512 --> 00:53:42,472 See you in France, Tommy! 901 00:54:01,450 --> 00:54:03,327 Magnificent, isn't it? 902 00:54:03,994 --> 00:54:05,370 What the hell are you doing here? 903 00:54:05,454 --> 00:54:09,666 Well, I hadn't realized just how vast the estate was. 904 00:54:09,750 --> 00:54:11,168 What of it? 905 00:54:11,251 --> 00:54:13,670 Well, plenty to go around, that's all. 906 00:54:13,754 --> 00:54:15,172 What do you mean? 907 00:54:15,214 --> 00:54:18,675 I've been investigating your claim. It's looking rather good. 908 00:54:18,717 --> 00:54:20,677 I spoke to Mrs. Bullock. 909 00:54:21,386 --> 00:54:23,013 She's very worried, incidentally. 910 00:54:23,055 --> 00:54:24,097 Why? 911 00:54:24,181 --> 00:54:27,351 She thinks that someone's trying to do away with her son. 912 00:54:27,434 --> 00:54:29,770 Henry, you know. Drink? 913 00:54:32,356 --> 00:54:34,733 Uh... No. No, thank you. 914 00:54:34,816 --> 00:54:35,817 Ah. 915 00:54:36,318 --> 00:54:39,154 Not your poison, eh? 916 00:54:40,489 --> 00:54:41,532 Only joking. 917 00:54:43,075 --> 00:54:44,076 Look, what are you implying? 918 00:54:44,368 --> 00:54:47,079 I'm implying that somebody needs a partner. 919 00:54:48,413 --> 00:54:49,498 Don't be absurd. 920 00:54:49,540 --> 00:54:52,876 Tom, all this could be ours. 921 00:54:53,627 --> 00:54:54,670 I think you better leave. 922 00:54:56,463 --> 00:54:59,007 You're right. If anyone saw us talking together... 923 00:54:59,049 --> 00:55:01,218 -No, I didn't mean that. -No, no, no. Of course you didn't. 924 00:55:01,552 --> 00:55:02,553 Get out of here! 925 00:55:02,928 --> 00:55:04,513 Good thinking. 926 00:55:04,555 --> 00:55:06,056 I don't want to see you again. 927 00:55:06,098 --> 00:55:08,767 Oh, all right, if you insist. 928 00:55:54,605 --> 00:55:58,108 Kitty and Henry were nauseatingly happy, 929 00:55:58,192 --> 00:56:00,736 though clearly thrilled to see me. 930 00:56:02,696 --> 00:56:04,281 Life itself was idyllic. 931 00:56:05,490 --> 00:56:08,285 Until one or two little accidents began to happen. 932 00:56:09,786 --> 00:56:13,123 Somebody put helium in Henry's scuba tank. 933 00:56:14,917 --> 00:56:16,001 Tommy, have you seen Henry? 934 00:56:17,294 --> 00:56:18,545 No. No. 935 00:56:31,225 --> 00:56:34,102 It's okay! I'm fine! Really, I'm all right! 936 00:56:36,063 --> 00:56:37,189 Great. 937 00:56:37,814 --> 00:56:41,693 All that week, the curse continued to strike. 938 00:56:41,902 --> 00:56:44,780 For Germany, I think a black one. 939 00:56:44,821 --> 00:56:46,406 What do you think? Careful with that. 940 00:56:46,490 --> 00:56:48,283 Though, alas, without much success. 941 00:56:48,325 --> 00:56:49,451 That must weigh a ton. 942 00:56:50,494 --> 00:56:52,162 Boy, am I starving! 943 00:56:54,414 --> 00:56:56,250 Here, Tom, let me carve. 944 00:56:56,333 --> 00:56:58,585 -'Cause I think I'm a bit better with a knife. 945 00:57:06,134 --> 00:57:07,886 -Stop it! 946 00:57:12,224 --> 00:57:13,517 A few days later, 947 00:57:13,559 --> 00:57:16,103 somebody tampered with the pool sweep. 948 00:57:48,427 --> 00:57:50,137 Help! Kitty! 949 00:58:24,505 --> 00:58:26,298 Henry? 950 00:58:35,807 --> 00:58:37,100 Henry? 951 00:58:40,229 --> 00:58:42,272 Tommy. Have you seen Henry? 952 00:58:42,689 --> 00:58:44,691 -Oh, no, not at all. -Oh. 953 00:58:47,736 --> 00:58:50,113 Oh, my God! Henry! 954 00:58:53,951 --> 00:58:55,702 Oh, my dear. Henry? 955 00:58:55,786 --> 00:58:57,287 Hey, you guys, this is great! 956 00:58:57,371 --> 00:58:59,456 You can stay under here for hours! 957 00:59:00,457 --> 00:59:03,877 He was such a lucky bastard! 958 00:59:08,757 --> 00:59:11,426 But I had one more plan. 959 00:59:34,616 --> 00:59:38,078 P-A-T-E-L. Here's my card. 960 00:59:38,370 --> 00:59:40,497 I'm going with you all the way to London. 961 00:59:44,042 --> 00:59:46,170 Remember, Patel is the name. 962 00:59:49,673 --> 00:59:51,925 Having established my alibi, 963 00:59:52,009 --> 00:59:55,512 all I had to do was make a graceful exit from the train. 964 01:00:31,673 --> 01:00:33,342 Ah, smell the night. 965 01:00:33,383 --> 01:00:34,384 Mmm. 966 01:00:34,551 --> 01:00:36,386 Smells like cow shit. 967 01:00:37,054 --> 01:00:38,472 You're right. 968 01:00:38,555 --> 01:00:40,933 Mmm, they must've put it on the roses. 969 01:00:42,601 --> 01:00:43,810 You know, Henry... 970 01:00:43,894 --> 01:00:44,937 Hmm? 971 01:00:45,020 --> 01:00:47,231 I only married you for your money. 972 01:00:49,525 --> 01:00:51,235 I only married you for your beer. 973 01:00:51,401 --> 01:00:52,528 Mmm. 974 01:00:53,946 --> 01:00:56,323 Would you like to discuss the merger again? 975 01:00:56,406 --> 01:00:58,033 -Huh? 976 01:00:58,242 --> 01:00:59,409 No. 977 01:00:59,701 --> 01:01:01,662 I think I could be talked into it. 978 01:01:03,705 --> 01:01:04,706 Ow! 979 01:01:04,790 --> 01:01:06,667 Oh, God! Oh, no! 980 01:01:11,463 --> 01:01:12,673 Oh, Henry! 981 01:01:18,804 --> 01:01:20,430 Oh, bugger! Dogs! 982 01:01:23,725 --> 01:01:25,811 Nice doggy. Nice. Nice dog. Sit! 983 01:01:31,149 --> 01:01:34,152 Luckily, the dogs gave up after about a mile. 984 01:01:34,486 --> 01:01:36,154 And as soon as I'd finished bleeding, 985 01:01:36,238 --> 01:01:38,949 I returned to finish the job. 986 01:01:49,835 --> 01:01:52,880 Saddlers, soon to be my Saddlers, 987 01:01:53,297 --> 01:01:55,924 looked peaceful in the afternoon sunlight. 988 01:01:56,425 --> 01:01:57,551 -Gotcha! 989 01:01:57,843 --> 01:01:59,052 Tommy. 990 01:01:59,136 --> 01:02:00,637 Hi! Hello. 991 01:02:00,971 --> 01:02:02,139 This is unexpected. 992 01:02:02,181 --> 01:02:03,307 Yes. 993 01:02:03,348 --> 01:02:04,600 What on earth are you doing here? 994 01:02:04,641 --> 01:02:06,310 Uh, I... I was... 995 01:02:06,351 --> 01:02:08,228 You came to surprise me, you naughty boy. 996 01:02:08,312 --> 01:02:09,313 Yes, I did. 997 01:02:09,354 --> 01:02:11,648 -I knew it. Goody! -Yes. 998 01:02:11,732 --> 01:02:13,317 Henry and Kitty can't catch us today. 999 01:02:13,400 --> 01:02:15,861 -No, they can't. -Come, come, come, come, come, come. 1000 01:02:15,944 --> 01:02:18,322 So, how are the little lovebirds getting on? 1001 01:02:18,363 --> 01:02:21,658 Oh! Uh, like a house on fire. 1002 01:02:21,700 --> 01:02:24,369 Oh! Oh, you're chasing me! 1003 01:02:31,793 --> 01:02:33,670 Don't look so guilty, Tommy. 1004 01:02:33,754 --> 01:02:34,796 What? 1005 01:02:35,964 --> 01:02:38,091 We haven't done anything... 1006 01:02:38,175 --> 01:02:39,176 ...yet. 1007 01:02:40,010 --> 01:02:41,428 Oh, no. 1008 01:02:49,770 --> 01:02:52,606 Your, uh, vitamins, Your Grace. 1009 01:02:52,940 --> 01:02:53,941 Oh. 1010 01:02:54,691 --> 01:02:55,817 Thank you, Butler. 1011 01:02:56,026 --> 01:02:58,946 I put the black sheets on the bed as you requested. 1012 01:02:59,196 --> 01:03:00,697 No need to wait up, Butler. 1013 01:03:01,031 --> 01:03:03,492 Mr. Patel and I have a lot to discuss. 1014 01:03:04,576 --> 01:03:06,245 I'm sure you have, Madame. 1015 01:03:07,704 --> 01:03:09,331 Sleep well, sir. 1016 01:03:14,545 --> 01:03:15,838 Jealous. 1017 01:04:23,739 --> 01:04:24,781 Forgive me, Your Grace. 1018 01:04:24,865 --> 01:04:26,992 Oh. What is it now, Butler? 1019 01:04:27,367 --> 01:04:29,536 Some bad news I fear, Your Grace. 1020 01:04:30,204 --> 01:04:32,456 Oh, dear. Not the puma again. 1021 01:04:37,961 --> 01:04:39,880 Oh, timing, Butler. 1022 01:04:43,634 --> 01:04:45,135 Oh, Henry! 1023 01:04:46,303 --> 01:04:48,138 What had I done? 1024 01:04:48,805 --> 01:04:51,642 I had gained a fortune, but lost two friends. 1025 01:04:56,104 --> 01:04:58,273 I was doomed to hell as a Christian, 1026 01:04:58,315 --> 01:05:00,901 and a horrendous rebirth as a Hindu. 1027 01:05:05,405 --> 01:05:07,491 Thou shall not kill! 1028 01:05:09,743 --> 01:05:12,996 Thou shall not kill! Thou shall not kill! 1029 01:05:25,551 --> 01:05:26,677 Tommy? 1030 01:05:31,431 --> 01:05:32,516 Am I dead? 1031 01:05:32,850 --> 01:05:34,935 No, silly. You just fainted. 1032 01:05:36,687 --> 01:05:37,855 You're alive! 1033 01:05:38,105 --> 01:05:39,314 Of course we're alive. 1034 01:05:39,606 --> 01:05:40,899 But the fire? 1035 01:05:40,983 --> 01:05:42,359 How did you know about the fire? 1036 01:05:42,442 --> 01:05:43,694 -Wasn't there a fire? -Yeah. 1037 01:05:43,777 --> 01:05:45,946 You bet there was a fire. The whole villa burnt down. 1038 01:05:46,029 --> 01:05:47,406 -Boy, is Mummy pissed. -Mmm. 1039 01:05:47,906 --> 01:05:49,157 Well, how did you get out? 1040 01:05:49,658 --> 01:05:51,410 Well, some jerk woke up the dogs, 1041 01:05:51,493 --> 01:05:52,536 and we took them for a walk. 1042 01:05:52,619 --> 01:05:54,705 And when we got back, the whole place was an inferno. 1043 01:05:55,956 --> 01:05:57,916 I'm so glad you're alive. 1044 01:05:58,959 --> 01:06:00,294 It takes a lot to kill me, Tom. 1045 01:06:00,711 --> 01:06:01,837 I know. 1046 01:06:02,296 --> 01:06:05,048 Now that everything's gonna be just fine. 1047 01:06:09,428 --> 01:06:10,762 Oh, my God! 1048 01:06:14,725 --> 01:06:18,228 The cook is quite frozen, I fear, Your Grace. 1049 01:06:20,355 --> 01:06:21,398 Bully. 1050 01:06:21,899 --> 01:06:23,483 Poor Mrs. Bullock. 1051 01:06:23,567 --> 01:06:25,235 She always hated frozen food. 1052 01:06:26,445 --> 01:06:29,406 I just came down for a slice of ham, sir, 1053 01:06:29,448 --> 01:06:30,908 and there she was. 1054 01:06:34,036 --> 01:06:35,162 How did this happen? 1055 01:06:35,245 --> 01:06:37,414 The door must have closed on her. 1056 01:06:48,091 --> 01:06:51,011 A few days later, Kitty invited me to lunch. 1057 01:06:51,803 --> 01:06:53,972 I feel bad, Tommy. It's the curse. 1058 01:06:54,389 --> 01:06:55,516 I'll get you an aspirin. 1059 01:06:55,599 --> 01:06:56,600 No, silly. 1060 01:06:57,100 --> 01:06:58,435 The family curse. 1061 01:06:58,519 --> 01:06:59,937 Oh. I'm sorry. 1062 01:07:00,604 --> 01:07:01,980 Somebody is trying to kill Henry. 1063 01:07:03,190 --> 01:07:04,691 Don't be ridiculous. 1064 01:07:05,025 --> 01:07:06,985 Tommy, do you remember the night of my engagement? 1065 01:07:08,820 --> 01:07:10,280 How could I ever forget? 1066 01:07:11,657 --> 01:07:13,742 Remember that little incident after the theater? 1067 01:07:14,618 --> 01:07:15,786 What little incident? 1068 01:07:15,827 --> 01:07:17,454 Oh, come on! You practically raped me. 1069 01:07:17,996 --> 01:07:19,998 -I did what? -Well, date rape. 1070 01:07:20,332 --> 01:07:22,709 Kitty, how could I date-rape you five times? 1071 01:07:23,126 --> 01:07:24,795 Oh, perhaps I did encourage you a bit. 1072 01:07:24,962 --> 01:07:27,005 A bit? You asked me to come up and... 1073 01:07:29,383 --> 01:07:30,843 You asked me to come up and give you one. 1074 01:07:31,218 --> 01:07:33,178 And you did. And I forgive you. 1075 01:07:33,554 --> 01:07:34,847 Oh, thank you. 1076 01:07:34,930 --> 01:07:37,850 But the point is, Tommy, I'm pregnant. 1077 01:07:39,017 --> 01:07:40,143 The baby's yours. 1078 01:07:42,646 --> 01:07:44,648 There really isn't any doubt. 1079 01:07:45,232 --> 01:07:48,735 Your son will be the Duke of Bournemouth. 1080 01:07:50,696 --> 01:07:52,781 Well! Good grief! 1081 01:07:56,368 --> 01:07:57,619 Come on. 1082 01:07:58,996 --> 01:08:00,330 Come on. 1083 01:08:00,372 --> 01:08:02,833 Together, Henry and I experienced 1084 01:08:02,916 --> 01:08:05,335 the joy of traditional English childbirth. 1085 01:08:07,087 --> 01:08:08,172 Down the pub. 1086 01:08:12,301 --> 01:08:13,552 -Oh, wait! 1087 01:08:14,678 --> 01:08:15,929 Hello? 1088 01:08:18,473 --> 01:08:19,765 It's a baby! 1089 01:08:23,937 --> 01:08:25,189 Have a cigar! 1090 01:08:31,111 --> 01:08:32,279 Nanny. 1091 01:08:32,362 --> 01:08:33,697 Yes, Your Grace? 1092 01:08:35,698 --> 01:08:36,783 Come and have some cake. 1093 01:08:36,867 --> 01:08:38,660 Oh, thank you, Your Grace. 1094 01:08:42,872 --> 01:08:44,207 Hello. 1095 01:08:45,584 --> 01:08:47,377 Come and see your daddy. 1096 01:08:47,419 --> 01:08:49,630 Come on. How are you, Tommy? 1097 01:08:50,546 --> 01:08:51,881 Glad to see you. 1098 01:08:51,965 --> 01:08:54,051 Come on, let's go for a bit of a walk, shall we? 1099 01:08:54,134 --> 01:08:55,385 Eh? 1100 01:09:11,984 --> 01:09:14,071 Someday all this will be yours, you know. 1101 01:09:14,154 --> 01:09:15,154 Yeah. 1102 01:09:21,161 --> 01:09:23,538 For as much as it hath pleased Almighty God 1103 01:09:23,872 --> 01:09:27,084 of His great mercy, to take unto Himself 1104 01:09:27,167 --> 01:09:30,587 the soul of our dear Nanny, here departed, 1105 01:09:30,671 --> 01:09:33,799 we therefore commit her body to the ground. 1106 01:09:33,881 --> 01:09:37,594 Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, 1107 01:09:37,886 --> 01:09:42,265 in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life 1108 01:09:42,349 --> 01:09:44,600 through our Lord Jesus Christ, 1109 01:09:44,768 --> 01:09:46,603 who shall change our vile bodies... 1110 01:09:46,645 --> 01:09:48,604 You won't be leaving the country or anything, will you, sir? 1111 01:09:48,689 --> 01:09:50,524 What? No. Why? 1112 01:09:50,816 --> 01:09:54,111 We are continuing our inquiries into the murder of the nanny. 1113 01:09:54,570 --> 01:09:56,071 Murder? 1114 01:09:56,113 --> 01:09:58,448 Prams just don't explode, do they, sir? 1115 01:09:59,157 --> 01:10:01,118 We believe foul play was involved. 1116 01:10:01,869 --> 01:10:02,953 Surely, you don't think I... 1117 01:10:03,036 --> 01:10:04,663 I don't think anything, sir. 1118 01:10:05,539 --> 01:10:06,748 I'm a police officer. 1119 01:10:14,214 --> 01:10:16,466 Typical of the police to suspect me of murder 1120 01:10:16,508 --> 01:10:18,552 the first time I was innocent. 1121 01:10:19,720 --> 01:10:20,971 Pity about the nanny. 1122 01:10:23,515 --> 01:10:24,808 Sad. 1123 01:10:24,892 --> 01:10:27,477 Good God, Shadgrind. What the hell are you doing here? 1124 01:10:27,936 --> 01:10:30,314 Well, let's call it a watching brief. 1125 01:10:30,898 --> 01:10:32,649 A shame to lose another witness. 1126 01:10:32,733 --> 01:10:34,902 Still, I have her testimony on file. 1127 01:10:34,985 --> 01:10:36,945 What file? What are you talking about? 1128 01:10:36,987 --> 01:10:38,155 Our case, Tom. 1129 01:10:38,197 --> 01:10:39,823 What do you mean, our case? 1130 01:10:40,324 --> 01:10:42,409 Oh, sorry! I forgot. Stumm. 1131 01:10:43,243 --> 01:10:44,661 I don't know what you're talking about. 1132 01:10:44,703 --> 01:10:46,496 Say no more. 1133 01:10:47,164 --> 01:10:50,250 I told you, I want nothing more to do with you. 1134 01:10:51,001 --> 01:10:52,336 That's it, Tom. Keep it up. 1135 01:10:52,419 --> 01:10:54,004 Look, piss off! 1136 01:10:54,046 --> 01:10:55,464 Yeah. Once more, a bit louder. 1137 01:10:55,506 --> 01:10:56,924 Why don't you fuck off! 1138 01:10:57,007 --> 01:10:58,550 Excellent. Very convincing. 1139 01:11:11,855 --> 01:11:14,233 Nannies don't just explode. 1140 01:11:14,316 --> 01:11:17,444 Cooks don't just spontaneously refrigerate. 1141 01:11:17,861 --> 01:11:20,948 What was going on? Was it the curse? 1142 01:11:21,949 --> 01:11:23,784 Who would be next? 1143 01:11:36,797 --> 01:11:38,549 Well, we are gonna need a new nanny I guess. 1144 01:11:38,632 --> 01:11:39,758 We definitely are. 1145 01:11:40,050 --> 01:11:43,720 I'll get it, dear. You sit with Henry. 1146 01:11:43,971 --> 01:11:45,681 -Oh, thank you. -Thanks, Mummy. 1147 01:11:48,559 --> 01:11:50,394 Oh. What's all this noise then? 1148 01:11:51,562 --> 01:11:53,438 What's the matter with you, then, eh? 1149 01:11:53,522 --> 01:11:56,567 Eh? What's the matter with you? Eh? Here, come with me. 1150 01:12:00,112 --> 01:12:03,156 You like that, do you? You like that, do you? 1151 01:12:04,324 --> 01:12:07,035 I think we need a change, don't you? Eh? 1152 01:12:07,578 --> 01:12:09,079 Come on. 1153 01:12:09,413 --> 01:12:10,414 Yes. 1154 01:12:10,581 --> 01:12:13,041 Come on, then. Come on, it's okay. 1155 01:12:16,128 --> 01:12:18,630 I've got to change your pants. It's panty-changing time. 1156 01:12:19,214 --> 01:12:22,926 Oh, God! Blimey! Where does it all come from? 1157 01:12:23,427 --> 01:12:26,597 You're all nice and clean, happy little ferret. 1158 01:12:29,099 --> 01:12:30,225 Oh, hello. 1159 01:12:30,267 --> 01:12:31,351 Oh, it's you, Tommy. 1160 01:12:31,643 --> 01:12:34,771 He was a bit wet, so I thought I'd change him, you know. 1161 01:12:36,231 --> 01:12:38,108 You treat that baby like it was your own. 1162 01:12:38,525 --> 01:12:40,777 Well, I don't mind changing babies' nappies. 1163 01:12:41,361 --> 01:12:42,988 It's watching them eat that's repulsive. 1164 01:12:44,615 --> 01:12:47,284 Oh, you have such lovely buttocks, Tommy. 1165 01:12:47,367 --> 01:12:48,619 Please, Your Grace, don't start. 1166 01:12:48,660 --> 01:12:50,287 Oh, come on, you love it, really. 1167 01:12:50,329 --> 01:12:51,413 No, please, stop. 1168 01:12:51,580 --> 01:12:54,458 Oh, stop! You're always saying stop. 1169 01:12:54,541 --> 01:12:57,127 I can't, for the life of me, think why you want to. 1170 01:12:57,211 --> 01:12:59,588 Oh, well, I'm not gonna listen to this. 1171 01:13:04,468 --> 01:13:06,345 Oh, my God! 1172 01:13:07,471 --> 01:13:08,680 What? 1173 01:13:09,765 --> 01:13:11,183 The rattle. 1174 01:13:13,393 --> 01:13:15,354 Only one person in the world had that rattle. 1175 01:13:18,148 --> 01:13:20,651 Oh, my God, it's you. You're my baby. 1176 01:13:21,318 --> 01:13:22,444 No. 1177 01:13:22,486 --> 01:13:24,780 Of course you are! How stupid of me. 1178 01:13:24,821 --> 01:13:26,823 You even look like the Bournemouths. 1179 01:13:27,407 --> 01:13:29,326 Oh, Rainbow Peace! 1180 01:13:29,701 --> 01:13:32,829 You're my little Butterfly Rainbow Peace! 1181 01:13:33,789 --> 01:13:37,125 Oh, God, my baby! My little baby boy has come back to me. 1182 01:13:37,334 --> 01:13:38,460 Please, Your Grace! 1183 01:13:38,502 --> 01:13:41,129 Oh, your mummy's so glad to see you! 1184 01:13:41,505 --> 01:13:44,132 You don't know how much I missed you, my little baby bee. 1185 01:13:44,174 --> 01:13:48,178 Baby, baby, kissy, kissy! I love you so much! 1186 01:13:49,555 --> 01:13:51,265 Ow! What's that for? 1187 01:13:51,682 --> 01:13:53,267 That is for trying to seduce your mother. 1188 01:13:53,517 --> 01:13:54,518 Seduce you? 1189 01:13:54,852 --> 01:13:56,520 We won't say another word about it. 1190 01:13:56,603 --> 01:13:58,730 I forgive you. You didn't know. 1191 01:13:58,814 --> 01:14:02,734 Who's been a naughty little boy for leaving his mummy for so long? 1192 01:14:02,818 --> 01:14:04,319 You left me behind in a restaurant! 1193 01:14:04,736 --> 01:14:06,280 I do hope you're not going to be bitter. 1194 01:14:06,697 --> 01:14:08,031 I'm only bitter about Mrs. Bullock. 1195 01:14:08,824 --> 01:14:09,950 Mrs. Bullock? 1196 01:14:10,033 --> 01:14:12,661 Yes. She was a cook in that restaurant. 1197 01:14:12,703 --> 01:14:13,704 So? 1198 01:14:14,454 --> 01:14:16,915 Mrs. Bullock was Henry's mother. 1199 01:14:17,833 --> 01:14:20,335 Oh, my God! 1200 01:14:23,547 --> 01:14:25,048 Bully was my mother? 1201 01:14:25,132 --> 01:14:28,302 Oh, God. My mother-in-law was a cook. 1202 01:14:28,760 --> 01:14:30,053 So I'm not a duke. 1203 01:14:30,095 --> 01:14:31,346 And I'm not a duchess! 1204 01:14:31,680 --> 01:14:34,641 Well, Henry will just have to renounce the title. 1205 01:14:34,725 --> 01:14:36,351 No, no, no. I won't hear of it. 1206 01:14:36,393 --> 01:14:39,521 He must. We can't have a cook's son on the ducal throne. 1207 01:14:39,563 --> 01:14:42,191 Far too vulgar. Pity about the baby, though. 1208 01:14:42,733 --> 01:14:44,234 Still, you're young enough. You can have another. 1209 01:14:44,735 --> 01:14:46,236 No, there's no real need, actually. 1210 01:14:46,320 --> 01:14:48,030 What do you mean there's no real need? 1211 01:14:48,071 --> 01:14:50,073 There's no need for another baby. It's my kid. 1212 01:14:50,115 --> 01:14:52,034 -What? -That's my child. 1213 01:14:52,242 --> 01:14:53,243 Yours? 1214 01:14:53,452 --> 01:14:56,413 Yes. Kitty and I had a brief, um, 1215 01:14:56,455 --> 01:14:59,124 you know, before she got married. 1216 01:14:59,208 --> 01:15:00,375 You're the child's father? 1217 01:15:00,417 --> 01:15:03,003 -Yes. Kitty said there's no doubt... 1218 01:15:06,215 --> 01:15:09,760 Henry. Henry, I can explain everything. 1219 01:15:11,094 --> 01:15:13,764 -Oh, Henry, please come back! 1220 01:15:13,972 --> 01:15:14,973 Oh! 1221 01:15:16,600 --> 01:15:19,102 So then I grew up in Southall. 1222 01:15:19,144 --> 01:15:23,899 -Mmm-hmm. -And we had a newsagent and a tobacconist. 1223 01:15:23,941 --> 01:15:25,526 And I had to do that. 1224 01:15:25,609 --> 01:15:29,738 I had to get up first thing in the morning on a Sunday and do all the Sunday papers. 1225 01:15:29,780 --> 01:15:30,906 Aw. 1226 01:15:34,076 --> 01:15:36,828 You've got to stop him. He heard every word! 1227 01:15:44,294 --> 01:15:46,129 Hey. Can I take this? 1228 01:15:46,171 --> 01:15:48,423 Oh, absolutely, Your Grace. 1229 01:15:49,091 --> 01:15:50,259 Is it all gassed up? 1230 01:15:50,300 --> 01:15:52,010 Oh, yes, I fixed it now, Your Grace. 1231 01:15:52,094 --> 01:15:54,680 You just put your foot down and... 1232 01:15:59,601 --> 01:16:02,312 Sorry. Your ex-Grace. 1233 01:16:14,366 --> 01:16:16,660 Where is he? Good God, Shadgrind. 1234 01:16:16,702 --> 01:16:18,120 Good afternoon, Your Grace. 1235 01:16:18,161 --> 01:16:20,205 What do you mean, "Your Grace"? What the hell are you doing here? 1236 01:16:20,289 --> 01:16:21,915 Oh, just hot-rodding the Morgan. 1237 01:16:21,999 --> 01:16:23,041 -What? -Oh, you know, 1238 01:16:23,125 --> 01:16:25,294 making sure Henry's car really takes off. 1239 01:16:25,335 --> 01:16:26,461 What are you talking about? 1240 01:16:26,503 --> 01:16:30,632 Lovely old banger, that car. Goes like a bomb, eh? Tick, tick. 1241 01:16:30,674 --> 01:16:33,093 Oh, my God. You bombed Nanny! 1242 01:16:33,177 --> 01:16:35,721 No, no, no, Tom. No, no, that was an accident. 1243 01:16:35,804 --> 01:16:37,806 -An accident? -I was after the baby. 1244 01:16:39,057 --> 01:16:40,475 Why? 1245 01:16:41,310 --> 01:16:44,229 Well, got to clear the path, Tom, if you are to inherit. 1246 01:16:45,939 --> 01:16:47,191 You're mad. 1247 01:16:47,691 --> 01:16:48,859 Well, we're all a bit mad. 1248 01:16:48,942 --> 01:16:51,278 Oh, going to watch, are you? Enjoy it! 1249 01:16:51,361 --> 01:16:53,447 Terrific! 1250 01:16:54,531 --> 01:16:57,576 Found the frozen cook yet? 1251 01:17:03,081 --> 01:17:06,126 Marvelous, isn't it? Not so much as a thank-you. 1252 01:17:18,889 --> 01:17:20,349 Come on, French man! 1253 01:17:24,019 --> 01:17:25,896 Come on, you're in Angleterre! 1254 01:17:29,399 --> 01:17:30,567 Oh, the same to vous! 1255 01:17:30,734 --> 01:17:32,819 Look out! Watch out! 1256 01:18:04,101 --> 01:18:05,352 Come on... 1257 01:18:38,218 --> 01:18:40,137 Look out! Watch out! 1258 01:19:02,618 --> 01:19:03,619 Jesus! 1259 01:19:36,693 --> 01:19:40,781 Oh, Tommy, what am I going to do without Henry? 1260 01:19:41,782 --> 01:19:43,867 You'll have to marry me, Kitty. 1261 01:19:43,951 --> 01:19:45,369 -What? -It's the obvious solution. 1262 01:19:45,410 --> 01:19:47,037 I'll look after you. 1263 01:19:47,079 --> 01:19:48,705 But I don't want to marry you, Tommy. 1264 01:19:48,747 --> 01:19:49,831 Why ever not? 1265 01:19:49,873 --> 01:19:51,875 Because I don't love you. 1266 01:19:51,917 --> 01:19:53,085 I love Henry. 1267 01:19:53,168 --> 01:19:55,379 Yeah, yeah. But it's for the sake of our child. 1268 01:19:55,462 --> 01:19:57,756 Tommy, it's not your child. 1269 01:19:57,840 --> 01:19:59,591 -What? -It's Henry's. 1270 01:19:59,675 --> 01:20:01,468 -But you told me... -I lied. 1271 01:20:01,844 --> 01:20:03,512 Well, whatever for? 1272 01:20:03,554 --> 01:20:06,598 Because I thought you were going to murder Henry. 1273 01:20:06,682 --> 01:20:08,141 I was desperate to stop you. 1274 01:20:10,519 --> 01:20:12,563 Oh, God, Kitty, it wasn't like that. 1275 01:20:17,651 --> 01:20:19,236 He didn't kill Henry, actually. I did. 1276 01:20:19,903 --> 01:20:22,614 You know, Your Grace, 1277 01:20:22,906 --> 01:20:25,075 I thought we were supposed to be partners. 1278 01:20:25,117 --> 01:20:27,244 But I can't see any sign of it. 1279 01:20:27,870 --> 01:20:29,246 Can you? 1280 01:20:29,329 --> 01:20:31,456 Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear! 1281 01:20:31,915 --> 01:20:33,750 What do you think you're doing, Shadgrind? 1282 01:20:33,792 --> 01:20:36,211 Just arranging a tragic suicide pact. 1283 01:20:36,753 --> 01:20:37,754 What? 1284 01:20:37,838 --> 01:20:40,591 Well, I've made myself the baby's legal guardian. 1285 01:20:40,674 --> 01:20:42,593 You see? Till he comes of age. 1286 01:20:42,634 --> 01:20:46,722 Still, that's 18 years of living here, rent-free. 1287 01:20:46,763 --> 01:20:48,765 Can't be bad! 1288 01:20:51,310 --> 01:20:52,436 Don't be ridiculous. 1289 01:20:52,936 --> 01:20:58,192 So, the family curse strikes again, does it? What a shame! 1290 01:20:59,735 --> 01:21:03,780 You and I could have been very happy together, Tom-Tom. Kneel down, please! 1291 01:21:07,075 --> 01:21:08,785 Drop the gun, Shadgrind! 1292 01:21:12,873 --> 01:21:14,374 -Boo. 1293 01:21:16,335 --> 01:21:17,961 Henry! How the hell did... 1294 01:21:18,170 --> 01:21:20,839 I pulled the car over for a piss, some schmuck took it. 1295 01:21:22,299 --> 01:21:23,425 No, get down! 1296 01:21:28,555 --> 01:21:30,015 -Help! -Henry! 1297 01:21:30,432 --> 01:21:31,642 Henry, are you all right? -Right! 1298 01:21:33,227 --> 01:21:34,978 Now, where was I? 1299 01:21:35,062 --> 01:21:39,900 Yes. Three bodies in tragic mystery love tangle. Hmm. 1300 01:21:45,989 --> 01:21:48,825 Better make that four, Shadgrind! Ha! 1301 01:21:49,284 --> 01:21:50,327 Get me out of this moose! 1302 01:21:50,577 --> 01:21:52,329 Somebody help Henry! 1303 01:21:52,412 --> 01:21:54,289 Henry! Oh, Henry! 1304 01:22:27,281 --> 01:22:28,323 I'm a lawyer. 1305 01:22:31,034 --> 01:22:32,160 Nice puss! 1306 01:22:42,379 --> 01:22:44,047 A puma! A puma! 1307 01:22:46,800 --> 01:22:50,179 I warned you. You wouldn't listen. Typical, that. 1308 01:22:50,554 --> 01:22:52,806 Marvelous, isn't it? The ingratitude. 1309 01:22:52,890 --> 01:22:56,310 Well, that's a lawyer's lot these days. 1310 01:22:56,977 --> 01:22:59,897 You might as well take me straight to France, incidentally. 1311 01:22:59,938 --> 01:23:01,982 I tell you, it was a puma! 1312 01:23:02,065 --> 01:23:04,151 That was the last we saw of Shadgrind. 1313 01:23:04,693 --> 01:23:08,697 Though there were rumors that he'd run off to Beverly Hills and become a film producer. 1314 01:23:09,573 --> 01:23:13,160 Henry forgave me and we became firm friends. 1315 01:23:15,704 --> 01:23:18,332 I sold my story to the tabloids 1316 01:23:18,415 --> 01:23:21,251 and married my secretary to prevent her selling hers. 1317 01:23:21,335 --> 01:23:22,544 Bye, Mummy. 1318 01:23:22,586 --> 01:23:24,588 My mother went off with a policeman. 1319 01:23:24,630 --> 01:23:27,090 Come on, Harry. We'll be late for the races. 1320 01:23:27,132 --> 01:23:29,218 And as for Kitty and Henry, 1321 01:23:29,259 --> 01:23:33,263 well, they helped me establish Saddlers as a major tourist attraction. 1322 01:23:33,347 --> 01:23:35,349 Though naturally, Henry did it his way. 1323 01:23:35,432 --> 01:23:37,059 Good afternoon, everyone. I'm Henry Bullock, 1324 01:23:37,100 --> 01:23:39,686 your host and official guide for this afternoon's tour. 1325 01:23:39,770 --> 01:23:42,606 You can give your tickets to Mr. Brittle there. Looking sharp, Brittle. 1326 01:23:42,689 --> 01:23:46,276 And so we all lived happily ever after. 1327 01:23:46,318 --> 01:23:47,694 Well, for a bit, at least. 1328 01:23:49,279 --> 01:23:51,240 I was just born lucky 1329 01:23:51,615 --> 01:23:53,742 Yes, I guess it's true 1330 01:23:53,992 --> 01:24:00,290 But now, my lucky luckiness has all turned into blue 1331 01:24:02,167 --> 01:24:06,630 Someone came and stole my baby away 1332 01:24:07,172 --> 01:24:08,298 Hey, hey, hey, hey 1333 01:24:08,382 --> 01:24:13,303 Someone came and stole my whole life away 1334 01:24:13,887 --> 01:24:17,641 I was so happy all of the time 1335 01:24:17,724 --> 01:24:20,561 With my baby, I was oh-so fine 1336 01:24:20,936 --> 01:24:24,481 But you came right along and knocked me for a song 1337 01:24:24,523 --> 01:24:27,734 You took everything that should be mine, mine, mine, mine 1338 01:24:27,818 --> 01:24:32,155 Someone came and stole my happiness away 1339 01:24:32,698 --> 01:24:33,866 Hey, hey, hey, hey 1340 01:24:33,949 --> 01:24:38,704 Now somehow that someone's gonna have to pay 1341 01:24:39,329 --> 01:24:43,000 I lost my baby when he stepped in 1342 01:24:43,083 --> 01:24:46,295 He took my life and everything 1343 01:24:46,336 --> 01:24:49,339 He stole my baby, now I'm so blue 1344 01:24:50,007 --> 01:24:53,177 Tell me what to do 1345 01:24:53,260 --> 01:24:57,514 Someone came and stole my baby away 1346 01:24:58,140 --> 01:24:59,683 Hey, hey, hey, hey 1347 01:24:59,725 --> 01:25:04,271 Someone came and stole my happiness today 1348 01:25:05,022 --> 01:25:08,859 He came along, he did me wrong 1349 01:25:09,067 --> 01:25:12,446 Now my whole life's gone 1350 01:25:12,529 --> 01:25:17,159 Someone came and stole my whole life away 1351 01:25:17,826 --> 01:25:20,829 He's gonna have to pay, some way 1352 01:25:20,871 --> 01:25:23,874 He's gonna have to pay, some day 1353 01:25:23,957 --> 01:25:26,710 Yes, he's gonna have to pay