Zatch: BY THE TIME I HAD FOUND THEM,
I KNEW THE OTHERS WERE CLOSE BEHIND,
AND SOON, THE BOYS' DESTINIES WOULD BE CHANGED FOREVER.
[HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS]
[MAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
♪ YEARS AND DAYS AND DAYS AND YEARS, NO ONE CARES ♪
♪ THAT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ I KILL ♪
♪ ASHES BLOWIN' IN THE WIND ♪
♪ FADE TO BLACK ♪
♪ WILL IT TAKE HIM BACK TO VIOLENCE? ♪
♪ TO GET MY MONKEY IN THE JUNGLE ♪
♪ MONKEY IN THE JUNGLE ♪
♪ UH, UH, UH, UH-UH ♪
♪ MONKEY IN THE JUNGLE ♪
HEY, GUYS, HOW MANY TIME I GOT TO TELL YOU?
NO VAN HALEN TILL I'VE HAD MY COFFEE.
WE'VE ALREADY HAD OURS.
GUYS, HOMEWORK?
YEAH.
HEY. HEY.
DAD, I THINK WE'RE FALLING INTO A RUT HERE.
EVERY DAY IT'S BREAKFAST,
"DID YOU DO YOUR HOMEWORK," FIGHT.
THAT'S RIGHT, DAD-- BREAKFAST, HOMEWORK, FIGHT.
I MEAN...
CAN'T WE JUST SAY WE LOVE EACH OTHER
AND HAVE A MOMENT?
YOU'RE SMOOTH, JOHNNY,
BUT YOU'RE NOT ALWAYS GOING TO GET OUT OF LIFE'S PROBLEMS
WITH THIS SMOOTH STUFF.
I LOVE YOU, DAD.
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
PSYCH.
GUYS, WHEN I GET UP EVERY MORNING
AND GO TO THE HAMBURGER STAND,
DO YOU KNOW WHAT KEEPS ME GOING?
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
I LOVE YOU-- AW.
HEY, GUYS, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
ARE YOU GOING TO DRIVE ME CRAZY?
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?
DO YOU WANT TO DRIVE ME CRAZY?
NO, DAD.
WE JUST WANT TO DRIVE,
BUT THE MAN WON'T LET US.
HOW CAN I MAKE YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND?
YOU CANNOT LIVE YOUR LIFE SURFING.
YOU NEED SOMETHING TO FALL BACK ON.
WE'RE WAY AHEAD OF YOU, DAD.
THAT'S WHY WE SKATEBOARD.
[CLATTERING]
WHAT WAS THAT?
PROBABLY THAT DUMB CAT KNOCKING SOMETHING OVER.
WE HAVE A CAT?
I'D PUT DOWN THAT KNIFE IF I WERE YOU.
SERIOUSLY, IF YOU DON'T WANT CHIVES,
I WON'T PUT THEM IN.
WELL, I WANT CHIVES, BRO.
YOU GOT IT.
IGGY, YOU'RE HERE EVERY MORNING.
YOU'RE HERE EVERY NIGHT.
DON'T YOUR PARENTS EVER ASK WHERE YOU BEEN?
MR. McQUINN, MY PARENTS ARE SEALED
IN THE BIOSPHERE IN ARIZONA. PIMENTO?
IT'S LIKE A LITTLE TOMATO.
YOU KNOW, THE BIOSPHERE.
IT'S LIKE A BUBBLE THING IN THE DESERT.
A LOT OF PLANTS AND ANIMALS.
NOBODY'S ALLOWED IN OR OUT.
LOOK, IT'D BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO EXPLAIN IT
TO A LAYMAN LIKE YOURSELF.
IGGY, YOU NEED A PROFESSIONAL LISTENER.
WELL, HE GOES TO THE SCHOOL SHRINK EVERY DAY.
IT'S NOT HELPING.
BEETS?
IGGY, DON'T YOUR PARENTS EVER FEED YOU? HUH?
AND DON'T THEY EVER PROVIDE YOU WITH CLOTHING
EXCEPT FOR MY BOXER SHORTS?
THESE ARE YOURS?
YES!
ALL RIGHT, DAD! SEE YOU LATER.
BIOSPHERE. GOOD ONE.
I FEEL ONE COMING.
UH-OH, HE FEELS ONE COMING.
OH, IT'S A GOOD ONE. IT'S A KILLER.
[BELCHES]
ANCHOVY OMELET.
Zatch: THEY CAME TO KILL THE BOYS,
AS I KNEW THEY WOULD,
BUT I WAS THERE TO STOP THEM.
YOU GUYS ARE VILE.
[BELCHES]
FROM NOW ON, I WALK.
THEIR PAST HAD FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH THEM.
NOW THE TIME HAD COME
TO PREPARE THEM FOR THEIR FUTURE.
MOTO-SURF!
♪ I BROUGHT THE DRUMS ♪
♪ THE BASS, THE FLUTE, THE HARMONICA ♪
360!
♪ ALL THE WAY FROM MALIBU TO SANTA MONICA ♪
♪ UP TO LONG BEACH BACK TO HUNTINGTON ♪
♪ TAKE OUT MY SCOPES SO I CAN SEE THE HONEYS ♪
HEAD DIP! HEAD DIP!
OH, NO. WIPE OUT.
HAWAII FIVE-O OPENING.
♪ NO ONE'S THINKIN' 'BOUT THEIR LESSON ♪
♪ NO MORE HOME WORKIN' ♪
♪ WORRYIN' ABOUT THEIR PROFESSION ♪
♪ YOU JUST WANT TO CHILL IN THE SUN ♪
♪ RELAX WITH A HONEY AND HAVE FUN, FUN, FUN ♪
COPS! COPS! GET DOWN! GET DOWN!
ADAM, GET DOWN.
OOH, THEY BUSTED JONES AGAIN.
WE WEREN'T MOTO-SURFING.
YEAH. RIGHT.
YOU KNOW, JUST ONCE
I'D LIKE TO BE WRONG.
HURRY UP.
I'M OPEN! COME ON!
SHOOT IT!
COME ON.
OVER--YEAH!
OH.
I NEED A HOMEWORK ALIBI.
MAYBE I CAN TELL THEM
THAT I WAS HAMMERED BY THE FACT
I FOUND OUT I WAS ADOPTED LAST NIGHT.
YOU WERE ADOPTED LAST NIGHT?
WHY DIDN'T YOUR DAD JUST ADOPT YOU
WHEN YOU WERE A BABY?
IGGY, WE WERE ADOPTED WHEN WE WERE BABIES.
WHAT IF I WAS ADOPTED,
AND MY DAD WAS A REALLY RICH KING AND STUFF?
OH, YEAH. KINGS ARE ALWAYS
GIVING UP THEIR KIDS UP FOR ADOPTION.
HEY, IF MY DAD WAS KING,
MAN, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT MY HOMEWORK ANYMORE.
I'D DEFINITELY BE OUT OF THE 11th GRADE.
AND IF LISA CAINE WOULDN'T GO OUT WITH ME,
IN THE DUNGEON, JUST LIKE THAT.
OH, I'D LOVE THAT.
THAT WOULD BE THE GREATEST.
WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?
I'M UP EL CREEK-O DE MERDE.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO THIS FULL UNWELCOMING SPEECH
FOR THIS VISITING GURU GUY, BABA RAM,
IN ASSEMBLY SECOND PERIOD.
RELAX.
LOOK, IF YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF IT,
TELL THEM I JUST FOUND OUT YOU WERE ADOPTED.
GOOD.
LET ME PUT THIS IN YOUR LANGUAGE, DUDE.
THIS MAY BE A PRETTY GROOVY SCENE FOR YOU,
BUT I TAKE IT PRETTY SERIOUSLY.
ARE YOU PREPARED?
I TOLD YOU, MR. DUNBAR.
EVERYTHING'S UNDER CONTROL.
NO WORRIES, BRA'.
GOOD...
BRA'.
"BRA'."
I'VE GOT NOTHING.
I'VE GOT...
OH!
'CAUSE I'M A PROFESSIONAL.
HOW YOU DOING?
HEY.
HI, GUYS.
IT'S OUR PRIVILEGE TO WELCOME
ONE OF THE WORLD'S GREAT SPIRITUAL LEADERS,
THE BABA RAM OF MEE GROB.
AN ASIAN-AMERICAN STUDENT
HAS BEEN PERSUADED TO VOLUNTEER...
WHOO!
AND PREPARE A WELCOMING PRESENTATION,
WHICH, I'VE BEEN ASSURED,
IS IN THE TRADITIONAL ETHNIC STYLE.
♪ MMM ♪
♪ BA ♪
YOU'LL LOVE THIS KID.
♪ OM ♪ ♪ OM ♪
♪ A BA BA BA BA-BA BA-RAM ♪
♪ BA BA BA BA-BA BA-RAM ♪
♪ BABA RAM ♪
♪ TAKE MY HAND ♪
♪ BA-BA BA-RAM ♪
♪ BABA RAM ♪
♪ YOU GOT ME ROCKIN' AND A-ROLLIN' ♪
♪ ROCKIN' AND A-REELIN' ♪
♪ BABA RAM BA-BA BA-BA BA-RAM ♪
♪ WENT TO A DANCE ♪
YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS
FROM YOUR HOMEWORK LAST NIGHT, ADAM.
OH, THE HOMEWORK SPAIN.
MANY...PEOPLE... THINK...SPAIN
IS...
HERE.
HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
ON THE OTHER HAND,
THERE'S A SCHOOL OF THOUGHT THAT CLAIMS SPAIN...
IS...HERE.
HA HA HA!
THOSE PEOPLE, TOO, ARE WRONG.
SO WHERE IS SPAIN?
COULD BE...HERE?
COULD BE...
HERE.
HERE?
HA HA HA!
HERE.
HERE?
HERE.
Zatch: WHO WOULD WANT TO HURT THESE BOYS?
ONLY I KNEW
THE ANSWER WAS ON AN ISLAND 13,000 MILES AWAY
IN THE HEART OF AN EVIL SOUL.
HELLO.
P.A.: COLONEL CHI IS GOOD.
COLONEL CHI IS WISE.
COLONEL CHI IS ALMIGHTY.
COLONEL CHI WILL TAKE CARE OF US.
COLONEL CHI IS STRONG.
COLONEL CHI WILL LEAD US FOREVER.
COLONEL CHI IS GOOD.
COLONEL CHI IS WISE.
COLONEL CHI IS ALMIGHTY.
COLONEL CHI WILL TAKE CARE OF US.
COLONEL CHI IS STRONG.
COLONEL CHI WILL LEAD US FOREVER.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
Machine: HI. THIS IS COLONEL CHI.
I'M NOT IN RIGHT NOW,
BUT IF YOU LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER
AND THE TIME YOU CALLED,
I'LL GET RIGHT BACK TO YOU. AND DON'T HANG UP.
HELLO?
[DIAL TONE]
HELLO!
DAMN!
COLONEL CHI IS GOOD.
COLONEL CHI IS WISE.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
Machine: HI. THIS IS COLONEL CHI.
I'M NOT IN RIGHT NOW,
BUT IF YOU LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER
AND THE TIME YOU CALLED, I'LL GET RIGHT BACK TO YOU.
YES. ARE THEY DEAD?
DON'T GIVE ME ANY EXCUSES.
THOSE BOYS DIE TONIGHT,
OR YOU'LL ANSWER TO ME HERE IN THE DUNGEONS OF SRI WAN.
OH, UH, BY THE WAY,
DID YOU CALL EARLIER AND HANG UP?
DAMN!
HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
WHOO! THE WAVES ARE PUMPIN'!
ALL RIGHT. LATER!
WH-WHAT?
YOU'RE NOT COMING WITH US?
I'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE.
I'VE JUST GOT TO WAX
THE OLD MAN-TO-WAVE FRICTION REDUCING VEHICLE.
SURFBOARD.
OH. OK, SO THEN WE'LL SEE YOU OUT THERE, RIGHT?
YEAH. YEAH, YEAH.
GOT TO PUT SOME WAX ON THE BOARD, YOU KNOW,
SO I DON'T SLIP OFF. WAX.
GOT TO HAVE A LOT OF WAX.
HEY, SKIP, TED, PUTTING SOME WAX ON.
HA HA HA!
AAH!
DUDE, I THINK I FULLY DINGED MY BOARD
ON A ROCK OR SOMETHING.
BRO, WE'RE LEAVING.
NOW? OH, I HAD SOME MOVES IN ME, TOO.
YEAH, RIGHT.
YOU'VE NEVER SURFED A DAY IN YOUR LIFE.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
HEY, TOMORROW WE START OUT EARLY, OK? FIRST THING.
[GRRR]
[ARF]
THANKS, MAN.
JOHNNY!
LET'S GO, IGGY.
WE'RE GROWING OLD HERE.
HEY.
[MUMBLES]
I'M SORRY.
STILL HUNGRY, HUH?
YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE REALLY GREAT ON THIS, THOUGH?
SWEET PICKLES.
YEAH? DO YOU EVER STOP EATING?
YOU FREELOADER, YOU.
SO, HOW WAS SCHOOL TODAY, GUYS?
THEY TRIED TO MAKE ME FIND SPAIN.
THEY TRIED TO MAKE ME FIND SPAIN ONCE.
I SAID, "IT COULD BE ANYWHERE."
HEY, SO DID I.
TAKE OUT THE TRASH, WILL YOU, GUYS?
SEE? NOW YOU'RE LEARNING.
THE MAIN THING WITH TEACHERS IS CONFIDENCE.
YOU ACT LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING,
YOU CAN SELL THEM ANYTHING.
HOW DO YOU THINK I PASSED U.S. HISTORY?
ONE DAY, WE WERE TAKING THIS TEST AND...
[TAPPING]
DAD?
REMEMBER THE GUY YOU SAID WOULD COME
IF WE DIDN'T EAT OUR VEGETABLES?
HE'S HERE.
THAT'S NOT THE BOOGEYMAN.
IT'S A HOMICIDAL KILLER.
ZATCH.
AAH!
HYAH!
AAH!
HYAH!
AAH! AAH!
AH-HYAH!
YOU'RE GETTING OLD, MAC.
AAH!
HYAH!
HYAH, SKATEBOARDER!
HYAH!
ME NO SPEAK ENGLISH.
I WASH DISHES.
I--OH, FINE.
I--AAH!
ZATCH, GET THE KIDS OUT OF HERE!
NO! WE'RE NOT LEAVING OUR DAD!
YOU'VE GOT TO GO NOW!
COME ON.
NO. NO! DAD!
NORMALLY, I'D STAY AND FIGHT, BUT IT IS A SCHOOL NIGHT.
JOHNNY, WAIT UP!
COME ON.
LISTEN. WHO ARE YOU?
JUMP! LET'S GO!
OH! AAH!
KWANTZU!
AAH!
HEY, LOOK, I'M NOT GOOD AT THIS.
I'M JUST GOING TO EXPLAIN TO THESE NINJA GUYS
THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY--MMM!
LISTEN. WHAT IS GOING ON?
CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS FOR ONE MINUTE?
JUST ONE MINUTE. I GOT ONE THING TO SAY,
AND THEN I'LL BE QUIET.
HEY!
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
I FELT REALLY SAFE IN YOUR ARMS,
AND I'VE NEVER SAID THAT TO A MAN BEFORE.
LISTEN, WHAT ARE WE DOING?
WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE OUR DAD ALL ALONE
WITH THOSE GUYS.
QUIET!
YOUR HIGHNESSES.
YOU MUST BE QUIET.
LOOK, WHO WERE THOSE QUIMBIES
IN THE CAMOUFLAGE PAJAMAS?
BOY, THOSE UNIFORMS
REALLY GIVE THEM A CHAMELEON-LIKE ABILITY
TO BLEND IN WITH THEIR SURROUNDINGS.
WOULD YOU GUYS JUST SHUT UP
AND LET THIS GUY--
WHERE'D HE GO?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT I MISS HIM ALREADY.
Zatch: THEY HAVE TAKEN HIM.
WHOA! HOW DOES HE DO THAT?
LIKE THIS.
"THEY HAVE TAKEN HIM."
WHO TOOK HIM?
THE SAME ONES WHO WANT YOU DEAD, YOUR HIGHNESSES.
WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING US THAT?
BECAUSE YOU ARE CROWN PRINCES,
AND YOUR FATHER WAS A KING.
OH, UNREAL.
REMEMBER WHEN I SAID BEFORE...
"WHAT IF MY FATHER WAS A KING"?
THIS IS COMPLETELY INSANE.
I'M A CROWN PRINCE.
NOT YOU.
THEY ARE CROWN PRINCES,
AND THEIR FATHER WAS A KING.
AND YOU ARE A MANIAC,
AND YOUR FATHER WAS A MANIAC...
AND HIS FATHER WAS A MANIAC,
AND HIS FATHER WAS A MANIAC.
ADAM, DON'T HELP ME.
YOU GET THE POINT.
AND THE GUY HIS FATHER BOUGHT HIS HOUSE FROM
WAS A MANIAC. ADAM.
GOOD THINKING, O PATCHED ONE.
LET THEM THINK THEY'RE THE REAL CROWN PRINCES.
WE'LL USE THEM FOR DECOYS.
HEY, I'M GOING TO GO CALL THE COPS.
LISTEN, THIS COULD BE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS,
SO I WANT YOU TO KEEP ONE EYE ON MY FRIENDS
AND ONE--
WELL, YOU JUST DO THE BEST YOU CAN.
Zatch: LISTEN TO ME.
SEARCH YOUR MEMORIES, YOUR HIGHNESSES.
WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER OF LIFE
BEFORE YOU CAME TO AMERICA?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "BEFORE"? WE WERE BORN HERE.
WEREN'T WE?
YOUR BROTHER WAS TOO YOUNG TO REMEMBER.
BUT YOU MUST REMEMBER SOMETHING OF PATUSAN.
PORTA-SAN?
UH, YOU MEAN THOSE TOILETS AT CONSTRUCTION SITES?
EW, I'D GIVE UP THE THRONE.
NO, NOT PORTA-SAN.
PATUSAN.
FOR 4,000 YEARS,
PATUSAN...
RULED BY ONE LINE OF WARRIOR KINGS,
WAS THE MOST PEACEFUL PLACE ON EARTH.
THEN ONE DAY, THE PEOPLE GATHERED
TO CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF CROWN PRINCE AD-HAM...
OF WHOM THE PROPHECIES FORETOLD
WOULD BECOME A TRUE VISIONARY.
AND HIS BROTHER, CROWN PRINCE YOW-NI,
WOULD BE EVEN A GREATER WARRIOR KING
THAN HIS FATHER.
IT WAS FORETOLD IN THE SEVENTH CYCLE,
AFTER MEN FLEW AS EAGLES TO THE MOON--
Adam: WHOA, BABE. YOU JUST LOST ME.
THE PEACE WOULD BE BROKEN BY BLOODSHED.
AAH!
[GUNSHOTS]
A VIOLENT COUP LED BY COLONEL CHI,
A FOREIGN MERCENARY,
DEVASTATED OUR COUNTRY.
I WAS HEAD OF THE IMPERIAL GUARD.
IT WAS MY DUTY TO PROTECT THE ROYAL FAMILY
AT ANY COST.
HYAH! HYAH!
HYAH!
CHARGE!
HYAH!
AAH!
UHH!
ROTTEN HAT.
I WAS SUMMONED TO THE PALACE
AND THERE ENTRUSTED TO PROTECT THE ROYAL PRINCES,
YOW-NI AND AD-HAM,
FROM CHI'S DETERMINATION TO KILL THEM.
Johnny: WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?
THE PROPHECIES FORETOLD
THAT ON YOW-NI'S 16th BIRTHDAY,
HE WOULD ASCEND THE THRONE,
AND PATUSAN WOULD BE FREE ONCE MORE.
[SPEAKING PATUSANI]
Johnny: I'M GOING TO BE 16 IN 2 WEEKS.
I KNOW, YOUR HIGHNESS.
[WOMAN SPEAKING PATUSANI]
[BABY CRIES]
[SPEAKING PATUSANI]
[CRYING]
HYAH!
ZATCH, YOU AND THOSE CHILDREN WILL NEVER ESCAPE!
HYAH!
OOH! OOH!
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]
UH, UH...
UHH!
AAH! AAH!
AAH!
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]
[CRYING]
[TRUMPETING]
AS THE PROPHECIES FORETOLD,
THE ENTIRE ROYAL FAMILY WAS KILLED,
EXCEPT FOR THE 2 YOUNG CROWN PRINCES, WHO ESCAPED.
WHOA, THAT WAS REALLY AN EXCELLENT STORY.
MAC WAS A FORMER AMERICAN SAILOR.
OY.
AHH!
[GUNSHOTS]
AAH!
[GUNSHOTS]
AAH!
[CRYING]
MAC HAD WORKED FOR THE ROYAL FAMILY
FOR MANY YEARS.
HIS LOYALTY TO THEM WAS BEYOND REPROACH.
IT WAS INTO HIS ARMS
THAT I ENTRUSTED THE 2 CHILDREN.
YOU WERE THOSE CHILDREN, YOUR HIGHNESSES.
FOR COLONEL CHI, YOU ARE THE LIVING THREAT
TO HIS RULE.
TO ME, YOU ARE THE LIVING PROPHECY
WHO WILL FREE OUR COUNTRY.
DON'T YOU HAVE TO DRIVE TO DO THAT?
MAN, I REALLY WANT TO DRIVE.
LISTEN, WE DON'T WANT TO FREE ANYTHING, TONTO.
WE WANT OUR DAD BACK.
THAT'S ALL.
MAC IS INCONSEQUENTIAL.
THE REBELLION IS WHAT COUNTS NOW.
YOU MUST RETURN WITH ME TO PATUSAN.
HEY!
OUR DAD IS NOT INCONSEQUENTIAL.
YOU, YOUR PROPHECY...
YOUR REBELLION...
THAT'S INCONSEQUENTIAL.
YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF DUTY OR HONOR.
YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR, OK?
LISTEN UP, AMIGO.
WE'RE GOING TO THE COPS.
COMPRENDE? LATER ON.
I DON'T HAVE TO CONVINCE YOU.
IT'S YOUR DESTINY.
IT HAS CHOSEN YOU.
HEY, OK, I GOT IT ALL WIRED.
THE COPS SAID TO MEET US AT YOUR DAD'S BURGER PLACE,
THAT IS, IF IT'S COOL
WITH OUR SIGHT-CHALLENGED FRIEND HERE.
HEY, HE DISAPPEARED AGAIN.
SO, YOU WANT ME TO BELIEVE
THAT THIS COLONEL CHEESE OR WHOEVER HE IS
SENT THESE COWBOY NINJAS TO BUMP HEADS
'CAUSE HE'S NUT-UP AT YOUR OLD MAN?
LISTEN, ALL I KNOW
IS THAT THESE SKETCHY-LOOKING NINJAS
DROPPED OUR DAD
AND WENT AGGRO ON THE FOOD HUT.
ALL RIGHT, GUYS, FROM THE TOP,
BUT THIS TIME HOW ABOUT WE BRING IN AN INTERPRETER?
EXCUSE ME. ARE YOU OPEN?
REALLY, THEY GOT KILLER SHAKES, MAN.
IT'S WORTH THE WAIT.
YOU KNOW THE FOOD IS GOOD, 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW...COPS.
SO, YOU SURE YOU KIDS
ARE GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT TONIGHT?
YEAH, YEAH. I TOLD YOU. OUR UNCLE'S STAYING WITH US.
OH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
YOUR UNCLE IGGY, HUH?
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
I'M GOING TO LEAVE A PATROL UNIT
OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE TONIGHT
JUST IN CASE ANYBODY GETS ANY FUNNY IDEAS
AND TRIES TO MESS WITH YOU GUYS.
BUT IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I REALLY THINK...
WHAT?
I THINK SOME GUYS
ARE PROBABLY LEANING ON YOUR OLD MAN.
THEY CAME IN, THEY TORE THE PLACE UP,
AND HE SPLIT.
I MEAN, HE'S PROBABLY OUT THERE
CHILLED OUT SOMEWHERE TAKING IT EASY,
SO DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT, ALL RIGHT?
GOOD NIGHT, FELLAS.
[SIGHS]
YOU KNOW...
MY DAD ISN'T CHILLING OUT SOMEPLACE.
HE WOULD NEVER SPLIT ON US.
HE LOVES US.
ALL RIGHT.
I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT, KID.
Iggy: [SCOTTISH ACCENT] ALL RIGHT!
NOW YOU KIDS GET IN HERE
AND CLEAN UP YOUR BLOODY ROOM,
AND I KNOW BEST,
'CAUSE AFTER ALL, I'M 37.
NOW, DON'T MAKE ME COME OUT THERE AND BEAT YOU
WITH A LEG OF MINE THAT NO LONGER WORKS,
'CAUSE I'LL DO IT!
UH, HE'S A VERY DISTANT RELATIVE.
GET OUT OF HERE.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
HEY, YOU TWO KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN
TONIGHT, ALL RIGHT?
I DON'T WANT ANYTHING COMING DOWN
ON THOSE KIDS IN THERE.
BRO?
YEAH, WHAT'S UP?
I'M FEELING KIND OF...
FREAKED.
NO WORRIES, BRA'.
I'M HERE.
EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE COOL.
HEY...
10...
BUT WHAT IF WHAT THAT ZATCH GUY WAS SAYING WAS TRUE,
AND IT'S, LIKE, MY DESTINY
TO BE A PRINCE AND A SEER
AND YOUR DESTINY TO BE A PRINCE AND A WARRIOR?
AND DON'T FORGET. I'M THE KING.
YOUR DAD'S NOT GOING TO MISS THESE MAGAZINES.
THERE'S A WHOLE STACK OF THEM UNDERNEATH THE BED.
IGGY, YOU CAN'T BE THE KING OF PATUSAN.
YOU'RE NOT ASIAN.
OH, YEAH? I'VE GOT 2 WORDS TO SAY TO YOU.
DAVID CARRADINE IN KUNG FU.
[SIGHS]
Zatch: CROWN PRINCE AD-HAM
WOULD BECOME A TRUE VISIONARY.
THAT'S WEIRD.
WHERE'S SHINOBI?
I THOUGHT I WAS PLAYING SHINOBI.
I'VE NEVER BEEN ON THIS LEVEL BEFORE.
WHAT A COOL GAME.
[LAUGHING]
AAH!
JOHNNY, YOU OK?
HEY, GUYS, WHAT'S TALL, DARK, WEARS A PATCH,
AND ALWAYS SEEMS TO BE ON MY BUTT?
DO YOU SEE HOW EASILY I COULD'VE KILLED YOU
IF I WAS SENT BY COLONEL CHI?
OH, THAT'S A BIG CHALLENGE.
I'M 11 YEARS OLD.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE YOURSELF
A BIG PAT ON THE BACK?
SHH!
Look!
OH, WOW.
COULDN'T WE JUST GO BACK TO THE BEGINNER'S LEVEL?
COME ON, LET'S GO.
Quickly.
Wait here.
[GAS HISSES]
I THINK HE'S COOKING.
WHAT?
Let's go. Now.
AAH!
HYAH! HYAH!
HYAH!
ZATCH!
AAH!
[CRUNCH]
AAH!
HEY, NOT THAT WAY!
COME ON!
COME ON, BROTHER.
WHEN CAN WE GO BACK HOME?
YOUR HOME IS PATUSAN.
NO, OUR HOME IS THAT HOUSE BACK THERE ON OCEAN PARK.
I DON'T THINK YOU WANT TO GO BACK THERE, MAN.
OUR PAL LONG JOHN SILVER HERE LEFT THE GAS ON.
REAL BRIGHT. WHAT IF THE HOUSE BLOWS UP?
OH!
THAT WAS OUR HOME.
HE BLEW UP OUR HOME.
I HAD NO CHOICE.
NOW YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO COME WITH ME.
IT'S YOUR DESTINY.
YOU HA--
YOU HAD NO CHOICE? YOU HAD NO CHOICE?
YOU'RE INSANE!
GET YOUR ROTTEN HANDS OFF MY BROTHER!
BE STILL, YOUR HIGHNESSES.
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT THERE'S NO TURNING BACK.
YOUR LIVES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.
BUT WHAT ABOUT OUR DAD?
I'LL HELP YOU FIND MAC.
THAT, TOO, IS PART OF YOUR DESTINY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST DID THAT.
WHAT OF THIS ONE?
THE COMMONER?
WHY DON'T YOU JUST BLOW HIM UP?
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DESTRUCTION
OF MY BEST FRIEND'S PERSONAL PROPERTY.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
SOMETHING HAPPENED.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT IT HAPPENED.
AND NOW EVERY TIME I SAY "WHAT IF," IT COMES TRUE.
I SAID, "WHAT IF THE HOUSE BLEW UP?" AND IT BLEW UP!
I HAVE THIS TREMENDOUS RESPONSIBILITY.
WHAT IF I LOSE THIS POWER?
OH, MY GOD!
I JUST SAID, "WHAT IF I LOSE THIS POWER?"
I JUST HAD THIS POWER, AND I BLEW IT.
I HAD IT, AND I LOST IT.
YOU KEEP HIM TO AMUSE YOU, YES?
LIKE A BOY WOULD KEEP A MONKEY OR SNAKE?
I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST BLEW UP SOMEBODY'S HOUSE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY A KING.
WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE HIM.
THOSE GUYS SAW HIM WITH US.
THEY'RE GOING TO COME AFTER HIM.
HE'S GOT TO COME WITH US.
THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME. I'VE GOT TO BE VERY--
I GOT TO CONCENTRATE ON WHAT I'M DOING.
I'VE GOT BE VERY CAREFUL. WHAT IF I JUST NORMALLY--
LET'S GO.
[SHOUTING]
P.A.: MANCHU TO THE STRETCHING CHAMBER.
MANCHU TO THE STRETCHING CHAMBER.
AAH!
BED OF NAILS FOR PRISONER LEE.
MANCHU...
THIS ALMOST GOT WET.
COME HERE.
IT'S NOT ENOUGH
THIS ELECTRONIC PIECE OF JUNK
SHORT-CIRCUITS ALL THE TIME.
YOUR BATTERY PACKS ARE DRY, COLONEL.
I KNOW THAT!
PERHAPS...
PERHAPS I SHOULD DO SOMETHING
TO MAKE YOU REMEMBER
HOW IMPORTANT IT IS FOR IT TO STAY THAT WAY.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
TELEPHONE.
[RING]
GET OUT OF THE WAY!
Machine: HI. THIS IS COLONEL CHI.
I'M NOT IN RIGHT NOW,
BUT IF YOU LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER
AND THE TIME YOU CALLED,
I'LL GET RIGHT BACK TO YOU. AND DON'T HANG--
YES?
ZATCH!
I SHOULD'VE KNOWN.
KILL HIM!
KILL THEM.
[BEEP BEEP]
HOLD ON FOR A SECOND. I'VE GOT CALL WAITING.
YES?
KILL THEM!
KILL THEM IMMEDIATELY!
GOOD. NOW, WHERE WERE WE?
YES, KILL THEM!
SEND MORE MEN TO LOS ANGELES.
COACH.
THE BOYS ARE ALIVE, I CAN FEEL IT,
AND I WANT THEM DEAD.
Zatch: WELCOME TO LITTLE PATUSAN,
WHERE OUR PEOPLE ESCAPED CHI'S REIGN OF TERROR
AND SETTLED IN LOS ANGELES.
COME. WE'LL GO THE IMPERIAL PALACE--
THE BEST PATUSANI FOOD IN L.A.
YOUR HIGHNESSES WILL BE SAFE HERE.
YOU'LL FIND YOUR SUBJECTS LOVE YOU
AND ARE LOYAL TO YOU.
GREAT. WE'RE THE PRINCES OF TAKE-OUT.
HEY, WHAT DID THEY EAT?
Man: DON'T EAT THE CHICKEN!
TABLE FOR 4?
[SPEAKING PATUSANI]
THEY DO NOT SPEAK PATUSANI, GUM-BEY.
HE'S PROSTRATING HIMSELF TO SHOW YOU HIS LOYALTY.
HIS NAME IS GUM-BEY.
GUMBY?
AS IN POKEY'S FRIEND?
HOW'S IT HANGING, GUMBY?
THIS WAY, YOUR HIGHNESS.
THIS WAY.
THERE'LL BE TROUBLE, GUM-BEY.
YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BEFORE YOU TAKE US IN.
TROUBLE? HA! TROUBLE DOES NOT WORRY ME.
HIS HIGHNESS YOW-NI
IS TO BE MY DAUGHTER'S HUSBAND.
ME? A HUSBAND?
THIS IS A DAY OF REJOICING.
I MUST TELL OTHERS.
NO, NO, NO, NO. TIME OUT.
HOLD ON. WAIT A MINUTE.
YOO-HOO!
WHAT DID HE MEAN WHEN HE SAID
I WAS GOING TO BE, LIKE, HIS DAUGHTER'S HUSBAND?
THE WEDDING WAS AGREED TO
BY YOUR FATHER AND GUM-BEY
WHEN YOU WERE CHILDREN.
THAT'S REASONABLE.
TECHNICALLY, HE'LL BE YOUR GUMBY-IN-LAW.
[GAMELAN PLAYS]
[MAN SPEAKING PATUSANI]
[APPLAUSE]
AND NOW FOR YOUR HIGHNESS AND FOR ALL OF US,
A MOST JOYFUL MOMENT
AS YOU MEET YOUR FUTURE BRIDE.
[APPLAUSE]
AAH.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY--
CHICK'S GOT A VEIL, DUDE BETTER BAIL.
YEAH. IF THEY COVER HER FACE,
PICK UP THE PACE.
IF SHE'S AFRAID TO SHOW IT,
SHE'S...
PROBABLY NOT VERY ATTRACTIVE.
[APPLAUSE DIES DOWN]
WOW.
YOU WANT TO GO TO THE MALL SOMETIME?
WAY TO CLOSE THE DEAL, CASANOVA.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO GO OUT.
SOON YOU WILL BE MARRIED.
AND I WILL BE YOURS FOREVER...
YOUR HIGHNESS.
HEY, YOU THINK MAYBE WE OUGHT TO TELL HER
THAT JOHNNY'S JUST THE DECOY,
AND I'M THE ONE SHE'S REALLY GOING TO MARRY?
[KNUCKLES CRACK]
WE COULD TELL HER LATER.
LATER'S GOOD.
MAN, I COULDN'T SLEEP LAST NIGHT.
EVERYTHING SMELLED LIKE CHOW MEIN.
LOOK AT THAT.
YOU GUYS...
LOOK AT THIS.
Girl: HELP!
AAH! AAH!
RUN, RUN, RUN!
AAH! AAH!
Man: LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
HELP!
TELL ME WHERE THEY ARE! TELL ME!
HELP! HEY!
TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF MY BETTY.
IT'S THEM!
NOW!
IT WOULD BE REAL GREAT IF YOU RAN LIKE A MOTHER
AND GOT WINKY THE ONE-EYED BLACK BELT.
[YELLING IN PATUSANI]
DON'T WORRY, BRO.
I'VE PLAYED THIS LEVEL BEFORE.
I GOT TO GET MY POWER BACK. I GOT TO GET MY POWER BACK.
HYAH!
AAH! AAH!
LET'S SEE... FISH...LOBSTER...
OCTOPUS!
EAT SQUID, PONCHO!
AAH!
500 BONUS POINTS!
YES!
WHAT IF I COULD ACTUALLY CONTROL
THE OUTCOME OF THIS FIGHT?
Zatch: AND HE WILL BECOME AN EVEN GREATER WARRIOR
THAN HIS FATHER.
I'M DOING IT. I'M DOING IT.
HYAH!
[ODE TO JOY PLAYS]
THANK YOU.
WOW.
HYAH!
JOHNNY!
HYAH!
AAH!
AAAH!
HYAH!
CHOPSTICKS. PERFECT.
HUH?
AAAH!
OW!
AAH!
AAAH!
OH...THANK YOU.
I BEAT MY BEST SCORE.
I LOVE THIS GAME.
SERIOUSLY, DON'T THANK ME.
IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO AS YOUR MONARCH.
IT WAS INCREDIBLE.
I MEAN, FOR A MOMENT, I ALMOST HAD THOSE GUYS.
I LOVE THE PART WHEN I WAS, LIKE...
[CRASH]
SORRY.
YOUR DESTINY IS DRAWING NEAR.
SOON YOU WILL BE A GREAT WARRIOR.
IF HE'S A GREAT WARRIOR,
WHAT ABOUT THE KID HERE?
YOU'LL BE A SEER OF VISIONS.
CLOSE YOUR EYES
AND TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE.
I SEE YOU,
LEADING THOUSANDS VICTORIOUSLY INTO BATTLE
AND BECOMING A NATIONAL HERO.
REALLY?
OH, MY GOSH!
YOU'RE WEARING A DRESS!
WHAT'S THIS?
PSYCH!
WHAT A BONEHEAD.
DUH!
I LOVE THIS. LEGS.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YEAH.
THANK GOODNESS.
YOU ARE THE SYMBOL OF THE REVOLUTION.
[SPEAKING PATUSANI]
EVEN WHEN THEY ASK YOU NOT TO PUT MSG IN,
YOU STILL PUT IT IN, RIGHT?
UH-HUH. I KNEW IT.
THEY'VE TAKEN YOUR FATHER TO SRI WAN.
WHAT'S THAT?
THE FORTRESS OF DEATH.
WELL, WE GOT TO GO GET HIM!
YES. YOUR HIGHNESSES MUST RETURN TO PATUSAN. COME!
AW, IT'S LIEUTENANT SPENCE.
WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!
LET'S GO, LET'S GO!
BUT HE WANTED TO HELP US!
LISTEN, HE'S NOT GOING TO FALL FOR
THAT UNCLE IGGY BIT AGAIN.
HOW ABOUT AUNT IGGY?
Ro-May: COME ON. OUR FRIENDS WILL HELP US ESCAPE.
QUICKLY!
WHERE'VE YOU BEEN?
GETTING DISGUISES.
YOU DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME, DID YOU?
WOULD YOU GET IN?
DISGUISES.
[ENGINE STARTS]
WELL, HELLO, KIDS.
COME ON, WE GOT TO HURRY!
LET'S GO! MOVE!
GET ON THE BOAT! HURRY!
MAN!
JOHN! ADAM!
HEY, AREN'T YOU, UH--
ALL RIGHT. HI, I'M UNCLE IGGY. NICE TO MEET YOU.
ALL RIGHT, KIDS, I'M 37.
HEY, HEY, HEY! COME HERE! COME HERE!
STOP RIGHT HERE.
WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I'M TRYING TO KEEP YOU FROM GETTING KIDNAPPED.
NOW LET'S GET OUT OF HERE QUICKLY.
LET'S GO.
WE'RE NOT BEING KIDNAPPED.
WE'RE STARTING A REVOLUTION.
EVERYTHING IS COOL.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT?
REVOLUTION? HOLD UP. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
LET ME TELL Y'ALL SOMETHING.
I'VE BEEN HAULING MY ACT ALL OVER TOWN,
STEPPING OVER NINJAS ALL SHAPES AND SIZES,
SO EVERYTHING IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT COOL,
LITTLE MAN.
LIEUTENANT...
[CRACK]
GOOD NIGHT.
OH, YEAH.
GOOD NIGHT, BABY.
[CRASH]
P.A.: WELCOME TO THE SRI WAN RE-EDUCATION FACILITY.
YOU! COME ON!
COME ON!
ALL RIGHT, MAC.
WHAT IS YOUR APPROXIMATE WEIGHT?
180?
[CHUCKLES]
200.
I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU ANYTHING, CHI.
YOU'LL NEVER FIND OUT WHERE MY BOYS ARE.
REALLY, MAC-O?
WELL, WORD HAS IT
THAT YOUR BOYS ARE ON THEIR WAY HERE
TO JOIN THEIR DADDY-O IN HELL.
OH, YEAH, THIS IS DEFINITELY ME.
HEY, IF WE GET THERE
AND PEOPLE AREN'T DRESSED LIKE THIS,
IT'S REALLY GOING TO AFFECT MY CONFIDENCE.
[VOMITS]
LOOK, THERE IT IS.
HEY, GUYS!
WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEE THE COAST OF PATUSAN.
COME LOOK.
OH, YEAH. AT LAST.
MY COUNTRY!
GOOD FOOD, REAL TOILETS, ROOM SERVICE...
EVERYTHING'S FREE. HELP YOURSELF.
UH, PARDON ME. YOU SEE--
HOW DID YOU GET THOSE HANDCUFFS OFF?
I HAD A KEY.
WHERE? WE SEARCHED YOU.
I SWALLOWED IT LAST TUESDAY.
WHOA. HOW'D YOU KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO NEED IT?
I SWALLOW IT EVERY TUESDAY.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO STOP US, LIEUTENANT SPENCE.
I DON'T WANT TO STOP YOU.
IN FACT, I'M THINKING ABOUT JOINING YOU.
YOU ARE?
LOOK, I AIN'T HAD A VACATION IN 17 MONTHS,
AMONGST OTHER THINGS,
AND I'M IN SOME DEEP NEED OF SOME SERIOUS LAUGHS,
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
BESIDES, I JUST HAD THIS FUNNY FEELING
THAT GOING WITH YOU GUYS...
IS YOUR DESTINY?
HEY, LOOK, PATUSAN.
YO, WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?
YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO GET SPOTTED.
I PUT A HOLE IN IT.
SOON, IT WILL SINK TO THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN.
SERIOUSLY,
THAT'S AN EXCELLENT PLACE TO HIDE IT.
YEAH. WHAT IF WE'RE GETTING HAMMERED,
AND WE GOT TO BAIL?
WE SHALL EITHER BE VICTORIOUS OR IN OUR GRAVES.
THERE'S NO GRAY AREA WITH YOU, IS THERE?
I MEAN, THE GLASS IS EITHER HALF-FULL,
OR WE'RE DEAD.
COME ON!
NOW STAY TOGETHER ON THE TRAIL.
WATCH OUT FOR LARGE RED ANTS,
LIZARDS WITH SHARP TEETH,
AND BLACK PYTHONS,
WHICH CAN SUFFOCATE A MAN IN ONE SQUEEZE.
THANKS.
♪ THIS IS THE DANGEROUS WORLD WE CHOOSE... ♪
JUST BEYOND THAT RIDGE
IS THE VILLAGE OF MEE GROB.
WHILE IN PATUSAN, GUESTS OF THE REVOLUTION
STAY AT THE MEE GROB HILTON.
THAT'S THE MEE GROB HILTON,
SERVING STRANGE THINGS IN SHELLS SINCE 1207.
IT'S THE BIRTHPLACE OF A GREAT HOPE.
WOW. THEN I GOT TO GET A T-SHIRT.
I CAN SEE THE MORNING COOKING FIRES.
THERE WILL BE MANY SUPPORTERS.
THEN WE'LL GO TO THE CAVES OF KWANTZU,
THE CAVES OF THE ANCIENTS.
WHAT'S THERE?
YOUR INHERITANCE.
MONEY?
NO...
SOMETHING NOT EVEN MONEY CAN BUY--
THE KNIVES OF KWANTZU.
KNIVES?
OH, YEAH. SERIOUSLY,
THAT'S SOMETHING MONEY CAN'T BUY--KNIVES.
ONCE I WENT TO A CUTLERY STORE AND SAID,
"HERE'S $100,000. CAN I BUY A KNIFE?"
THEY SAID, "NO. MONEY CAN'T BUY KNIVES."
GEE, I GUESS THAT'S WHY
YOU HARDLY EVER SEE ANY OF THEM AROUND.
ON THE THIRD DAY OF THE EXPEDITION,
THEY CAME ACROSS A GIANT RUBBER PLANT.
UNFORTUNATELY, THEY COULD NOT CUT IT DOWN.
FOR, AS WE KNOW, MONEY CAN'T BUY KNIVES.
WALKING AROUND THE PLANT,
THEY CONTINUED ON THE SHORES OF PATUSAN.
IS THERE NO WAY WE CAN SHUT THIS CHATTERING MONKEY UP?
YOU KNOW, I'D CUT HIM,
BUT I DON'T HAVE A KNIFE.
WHO WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS?
I'LL GIVE YOU 3 GUESSES.
BUT WHY DID THEY SPARE THAT OLD MAN
AND THOSE FEW OTHERS?
SO THERE WOULD BE SOMEONE LEFT ALIVE TO TELL.
TELL WHAT?
TO WHO?
TO ANYONE WHO'D HELP US.
THIS IS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM.
WE'RE NEAR KWANTZU,
BUT THE ENTRANCE TO THE CAVE IS HIDDEN.
OH, THAT'S GOOD.
HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIND IT?
IT'S NOT MY DESTINY TO FIND IT.
OF COURSE NOT. I AM THE KING.
OK. WHAT IF I FIND IT?
Adam: MAYBE DOWN HERE.
HEY!
COME BACK HERE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT?
I'M TALKING TO YOU.
FREEZE RIGHT THERE.
WHOA! COOL!
YOU KNOW, BOY, DON'T YOU?
WHERE IS IT?
[RUMBLING]
AAH!
JOHNNY! ARE YOU OK?
YEAH.
HEY, I FOUND WALDO!
REALLY?
PSYCH!
SERIOUSLY, 3 YEARS AGO,
MY COUSIN WENT IN A CAVE,
NEVER CAME OUT.
THEY NEVER FOUND HIM.
NOBODY KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM.
THEY THINK MAYBE HIS BODY WAS EATEN BY BATS.
Spence: IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING THEM CAVE STORIES,
THEN YOU AND YOUR COUSIN
WILL HAVE A LOT MORE THINGS IN COMMON.
THE WEAPONS OF KWANTZU.
JUST AS THE PROPHECIES FORETOLD,
THESE WEAPONS WILL BE YOURS, YOUR HIGHNESS.
4,000 YEARS...
OF WARRIOR BLOOD, SPIRIT, AND ENERGY
ARE HELD IN THESE WEAPONS.
THAT SPIRIT NOW...
WILL ENTER YOU.
STAND AND DEFEND YOURSELF!
NOT YOU, HIM!
DEFEND MYSELF? LISTEN--
KWANTZU! HAH! YAH!
LISTEN, WHAT IS IT WITH YOU? YOU KNOW--AAH!
LISTEN! HOLD ON!
HOLD ON! HOLD ON! COULD WE JUST STOP THIS?
YOU KNOW, YOU GOT A REALLY BAD AURA ABOUT YOU.
AAH!
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE NOTICED,
BUT EVERYWHERE WE GO, YOU HAVE TO FIGHT...
AND THAT MEANS YOU GOT A PROBLEM,
AND I THINK IT'S ALL
BECAUSE OF A DEEP-SEATED EMOTIONAL TRAUMA.
AAH!
HYAH!
THE WARRIOR SPIRIT'S WITHIN YOU.
HYAH!
LISTEN, I DON'T WANT ANY SPIRITS IN ME!
I DON'T WANT ANY SPEARS IN ME!
I DON'T WANT ANYTHING IN ME!
YOU MANIAC!
HYAH! HUH!
YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD.
I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU.
LISTEN, SPIRIT OR NO SPIRIT,
IF YOU SWING THAT THING AT ME ONE MORE TIME,
I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR BUTT!
AAH!
OK.
OK. OK--
[CHOIR SINGING BEETHOVEN'S ODE TO JOY]
OK!
HYAH!
NEVER MESS WITH ZORRO.
WOW! JOHNNY'S AMAZING.
I KNOW. HE CAN GET A JOB AS A SUSHI CHEF, NO PROBLEM.
[EXPLOSION]
WHAT IS THAT?
IT'S A CHAIN GANG.
WHAT DO WE DO?
WE HAVE TO GO AROUND THEM.
IF WE'RE PICKED UP BY ONE OF THE PATROLS,
WE'LL END UP PRISONERS OURSELVES.
WHOA! THIS TRAIL IS MASSIVELY NARROW.
WHAT IF SOMEBODY FELL?
WHOA!
WHOA! WHOA!
OOF!
AAH!
ADAM!
WHAT HAVE I SAID? I'M SORRY!
WHOA! WHOA! AAH!
Adam: OH, WIPE OUT!
AAH!
WOW! INSANE RIDE.
YEAH, RIGHT.
♪ DON'T TELL ME IF YOU'RE WRONG OR RIGHT ♪
♪ YOU KNOW, THERE'S JUST ONE THING ♪
♪ THAT I BELIEVE IN... ♪
DROP THE PIECE, PUNK.
THIS IS LAPD. YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.
♪ I'M HOT, READY OR NOT ♪
♪ YOU KNOW I'M COMIN' ♪
♪ I CAN'T WAIT... ♪
THERE'S TOO MANY SOLDIERS.
THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO FOR THEM.
WHAT? HEY, THAT'S MY BROTHER DOWN THERE!
I'M GOING AFTER HIM!
NO, WAIT!
IT'S TOO DANGEROUS. YOU CAN'T DO THIS ALONE.
WORRIED ABOUT YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE REVOLUTION?
NO...
I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
AAH!
BOY, KIDS--THEY JUST DON'T WEIGH THE RISKS, DO THEY?
SO YOU WANT TO GRAB A CUP OF COFFEE?
AAH!
[THUDS]
OOH! OW! OH!
YAAH!
[SPEAKING PATUSANI]
OK. STAY HERE.
NO.
YOU WAIT HERE.
♪ TOO BAD, YOU MADE ME MAD ♪
♪ AND NOW YOU KNOW IT ♪
♪ YOU'LL SEE... ♪
[SPEAKING PATUSANI]
HI.
[SPEAKING PATUSANI]
♪ HERE COMES TROUBLE ♪
♪ PRETTY SOON THEY'RE GONNA PAY, BOY ♪
♪ HERE COMES TROUBLE ♪
♪ LITTLE DO THEY KNOW... ♪
AAH!
WHAT DID YOU SAY TO THEM?
YOU'LL FIND OUT ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT.
WHAT'S UP?
WHAT'S UP? HEY, DID YOU SLIDE DOWN THE MOUNTAIN?
YEAH.
WASN'T IT STYLIN'? FULLY.
UH, OK, MR. HERO,
NOW HOW IN THE HECK
ARE YOU GOING TO GET US UP OUT OF HERE?
HEY...HEY.
HEY-HEY-HEY!
WHOA!
SHH.
LET'S GO!
COME ON! COME ON!
[RIFLES COCK]
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
Iggy: YOU MAY ONLY HAVE ONE EYE,
BUT YOU DON'T MISS A TRICK.
GET IN! GET IN! GET IN!
AAH!
ANYONE NEED A RIDE?
HYAH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
COME ON! LET ME GO! I'M ON A ROLL!
COME ON! LET'S GO!
ADAM, YOU'RE DRIVING!
AIN'T IT BITCHIN'?
COME ON! GO! GO! GO!
SERIOUSLY, THERE'S DYNAMITE HERE.
WELL, THROW IT AT THEM!
I GOT ONE! I GOT ONE!
LOVE OF KWANTZU! LIGHT IT FIRST!
I NEED A LIGHT! I NEED A LIGHT!
WAIT, WAIT!
I GOT SOMETHING.
CIGARETTES?
YEAH, YEAH. I KNOW I SHOULD QUIT.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET THE PATCH.
LOOK WHO I'M TALKING TO.
OK, BABY! YEAH!
THAT'S THE WAY TO GO!
ALL RIGHT!
[SPEAKING PATUSANI]
THEY'RE OVERJOYED TO HAVE THEIR KING BACK.
COOL.
UP UNTIL NOW, I DIDN'T KNOW IF YOU WERE WORTHY.
NOW I KNOW YOU ARE.
WORTHY OF WHAT?
Zatch: OF THIS.
KWANTZU!
THE HEADBAND OF A PATUSANI WARRIOR PRINCE.
AHEM!
KWANTZU!
AHEM. AHEM.
AHEM!
OH, GIVE HIM ONE.
LET'S GO.
OOH!
UH!
KWANTZU, DUDES!
Men: KWANTZU, DUDES!
[CHEERING]
MY PEOPLE, IF YOU KNOW THIS SONG.
YOU CAN JOIN US.
KWANTZU!
JOHNNY, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
YEAH.
TALK TO ME FOREVER.
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
LOOK, I KNOW I TALKED A LOT ABOUT MARRYING YOU
AND BEING QUEEN AND EVERYTHING--
I KNOW. NO PROBLEM.
AS SOON AS WE RESCUE MY DAD,
I'LL TELL HIM, AND THEN WE--
BUT, JOHNNY, LISTEN.
LOOK, ALL MY LIFE, I'VE BEEN DOING EVERYTHING
THAT WAS EXPECTED
OF A TRADITIONAL PATUSANI GIRL.
AND?
AND WHO DO MY PARENTS THINK THEY ARE,
TELLING ME WHO I'M GOING TO MARRY?
I MEAN, I'LL DECIDE
WHO I'M GOING TO MARRY, NOT THEM.
THAT IS, IF I MARRY.
I MEAN, THAT WAS REALLY A SWELL KISS AND ALL, BUT...
I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS
ABOUT THE MARRIAGE THING.
WE CAN STILL DATE, RIGHT?
YEAH, THEY MUST BE EXPECTING AN ATTACK.
CHECK OUT ALL THE GUNS.
THEY'RE ALL POINTING RIGHT AT US.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ISLAND?
THERE'S A REEF NO SHIP COULD GET PAST,
WHICH REALLY DOESN'T MATTER,
SINCE THE ONLY SHIP WE HAD, I SUNK.
Adam: TELL ME ABOUT IT.
WHAT DO YOU GOT?
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
IT'S NOT SHOWING ME ANYTHING.
I MEAN, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE MAGIC, ISN'T IT?
I THOUGHT IT WAS REAL.
THE MAGIC IS REAL.
BUT IT'S WITHIN YOU. IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN.
NOW TELL ME, WHAT DO YOU SEE?
THOSE TREES OVER THERE.
ARE PATUSANIS ANY GOOD AT WOODCARVING AND STUFF?
THEY ARE AMONG THE BEST IN THE WORLD.
WELL, WHAT, DO YOU WANT TO BUY A SOUVENIR?
REMEMBER, BEND YOUR KNEES. USE YOUR ARMS.
GOOD.
NOW YOU'RE STYLIN'.
ALL RIGHT. YOU GUYS READY TO CHECK OUT THE WAVES?
YEAH! YEAH!
TH-THIS MAY COME AS A SHOCK TO YOU, BUT I...
NEVER SURFED A DAY IN YOUR LIFE?
WE ALL KNOW.
IT'S LIKE A BIG JOKE.
REALLY?
HUH.
BUT WHAT IF YOU COULD?
THE ABILITY'S WITHIN YOU, BRO.
WHAT IF I COULD?
LET'S SHRED!
KWANTZU, DUDES!
Men: KWANTZU, DUDES!
AAH! AAH!
BROTHERS DON'T SURF.
THIS GET BACK TO THE 'HOOD,
WON'T NONE OF THE HOMIES TALK TO ME AGAIN.
♪ ANOTHER DAY IS DONE ♪
♪ STILL THE HUNGER BURNS INSIDE OF ME ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ THE HEART BEATS TO A DIFFERENT DRUM ♪
♪ LIKE THUNDER, IT WAKES ME FROM MY SLEEP ♪
♪ HOLD ON, THIS DEVIL TAKES ITS TOLL ♪
♪ I MUST CHASE THE FIRE THAT FEEDS MY SOUL ♪
♪ OH, YOU'VE--YOU'VE GOT TO DIG DOWN DEEP ♪
♪ OH, WHEN YOU WANT TO WAKE THE DEAD ♪
♪ FROM THEIR SLEEP ♪
♪ FROM NOW ON ♪
♪ YOU'LL KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME ♪
♪ FROM NOW ON ♪
♪ I CAN'T UNTIE THESE HANDS OF FATE ♪
♪ FROM NOW ON ♪
♪ THERE'LL BE NO CHAINS TO BIND ME ♪
♪ FROM NOW ON ♪
I SURFED!
WHOA!
♪ FOR SURE, THE TIME HAS COME ♪
♪ OH, I GOT TO LOOK THE FUTURE IN THE FACE ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ I GOT TO GET ON MY SHOES ♪
♪ AND RUN MY RUN ♪
♪ OR I'LL JUST BE A LOSER IN THIS HUMAN RACE ♪
♪ HOLD ON ♪
♪ THE DEVIL TAKES ITS TOLL ♪
I SURFED! I SURFED!
JOHNNY, DID YOU SEE IT? IT WAS BEAUTIFUL!
♪ OH, YA GOT TO DIG DOWN ♪
♪ DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN DEEP ♪
♪ WHEN YOU WANT TO WAKE THE DEAD ♪
♪ FROM THEIR SLEEP ♪
♪ FROM NOW ON ♪
♪ YOU'LL KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME ♪
♪ FROM NOW ON ♪
♪ I CAN'T UNTIE THESE HANDS OF FATE ♪
♪ FROM NOW ON ♪
♪ THERE'LL BE NO CHAINS TO BIND ME ♪
♪ FROM NOW ON ♪
OOH!
[YELLING]
HERE, BRO, YOU'RE GOING TO NEED THIS.
YOU MEAN WE'RE SEPARATING?
YES. THIS IS AN ATTACK.
OH. AAH!
AAH!
YEAH. NOW THIS FEELS A LITTLE BIT MORE FAMILIAR.
AAH!
OW! OHH! OW! OW!
AAH!
YES!
WHOA-OH-HO-HO!
OOH! OW! OH! OH! OW!
JOHNNY!
ZATCH! ZATCH!
HE'S NOT MOVING!
ZATCH, COME ON!
ZATCH?
WHAT...
IF I DON'T...
DIE?
HEY, IT WORKS.
OHH!
AAH!
OOH, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.
I SAID I'M SORRY.
WHEN YOU START A BATTLE, YOU MUST FINISH IT.
GO, MY NEPHEWS.
NEPHEWS?
HE'S YOUR UNCLE.
YOUR FATHER, YOUR REAL FATHER,
WAS THE KING, HIS BROTHER.
YOU'RE MY UNCLE?
NO. NOT YOU.
AHH!
DAD, YOU CHILL HERE WITH UNCLE ZATCH.
I'M GOING AFTER CHI.
YOU CAN'T GO AFTER HIM ALONE, JOHNNY.
HE CAN IF IT'S HIS DESTINY.
AW, YOU NEVER LISTENED TO ME BEFORE.
HOW CAN I STOP YOU NOW?
[GROANING]
WHOA! OH-HO-HO!
AAH! OW! OW! OW!
YEAH!
AAH!
I'M WET!
AAH!
I'M OK.
WELL...
AT LAST.
OHH!
COME ON.
AAH!
AHH!
UH-UH-UH.
YOU HAVE A SWORD. I DON'T HAVE MY GUN.
DON'T YOU WANT THIS TO BE A FAIR FIGHT?
TAKE THAT, METALFACE.
AAH!
OOH!
OH!
AAH!
NO! NO! NO!
WATER! WATER!
WA--
HA HA HA HA!
NAH.
AAH! WATER!
WATER!
YEAH! YEAH!
YEAH!
KWANTZU!
YES!
PATUSAN.
THEY'RE JUST THE DECOY.
IT'S HILARIOUS.
I MEAN, I'M THE REAL KING.
YOU'RE ALL MY SUBJECTS, AND SHE'S MY CHICK.
I MEAN...
ENJOY.
YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY OF THIS, ARE YOU?
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
GENTLEMEN, MAY I PRESENT A GREAT HOLY MAN
WHO WAS BORN IN YOUR FATHER'S NATIVE VILLAGE.
THE BABA RAM OF MEE GROB.
AHH...HUH?
WA-WAIT A SECOND.
I KNOW THIS MAN.
BARBARA ANN. YES. A VERY FUNNY MAN, YOU KNOW.
VERY FUNNY. [SPEAKING PATUSANI]
ROCK 'N' ROLL, DUDE.
CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR HIGHNESSES.
RIGHT THIS WAY.
YOUR MAJESTY.
PRINCESS.
I THINK THEY'RE WAITING FOR YOU TO SAY SOMETHING.
I'VE GOT NOTHING.
I'LL HANDLE IT, BRO.
KWANTZU, DUDES!
KWANTZU! KWANTZU!
THEY LOVE THIS WORD.
IT MUST MEAN, LIKE...
FREE BEER OR SOMETHING.
AS MY FIRST ACT AS YOUR KING...
I HEREBY DISSOLVE THE MONARCHY,
GIVE THE GOVERNMENT TO ITS PEOPLE,
'CAUSE YOUR DESTINY'S TO BE FREE!
I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG--
COOL HEADGEAR, I LOVE THE CLOTHES AND ALL, BUT...
[GROANING]
EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.
[GROANING]
NEWS FLASH!
YOUR SIDE LOST!
OH-HO-HO-HO!
OH! OW! OW! OW! OH!
LIKE I WAS SAYING,
AS MY FUTURE QUEEN AND I GO OFF TO TAKE OUR S.A.T.s,
REMEMBER, WE'RE ALL CREATED EQUAL.
'CAUSE I WAS BORN INTO ROYALTY,
I'M NO DIFFERENT FROM YOU.
PUT MY FACE ON A STAMP, A 50-CENT PIECE,
AND LET'S CALL IT A DAY.
FOR NOW, MY PEOPLE, I'M OUT OF HERE.
♪ BA-BA-BA BA-BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ TAKE MY HAND ♪
♪ BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ YOU GOT ME ROCKIN' AND A-ROLLIN' ♪
♪ ROCKIN' AND A-REELIN', BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ BA-BA-BA BA-BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ WENT TO A DANCE ♪
♪ LOOKIN' FOR ROMANCE ♪
♪ SAW BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ SO I THOUGHT I'D TAKE A CHANCE ♪
♪ BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ TAKE MY HAND ♪
♪ YOU GOT ME ROCKIN' AND A-ROLLIN' ♪
♪ ROCKIN' AND A-REELIN', BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ BA-BA-BA BA-BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ TAKE MY HAND ♪
♪ BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ YOU GOT ME ROCKIN' AND A-ROLLIN' ♪
♪ ROCKIN' AND A-REELIN', BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ BA-BA-BA BA-BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ TRIED PEGGY SUE, TRIED BETTY LOU ♪
♪ TRIED MARY LOU, BUT I KNEW THEY WOULDN'T DO ♪
♪ BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ TAKE MY HAND ♪
♪ YOU GOT ME ROCKIN' AND A-ROLLIN' ♪
♪ ROCKIN' AND A-REELIN', BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ BA-BA-BA BA-BARBARA ANN ♪
LET'S GO!
YES! A-HA HA!
OH, DANCING NOW!
♪ BA-BA-BA BA-BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ TAKE MY HAND ♪
♪ BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ YOU GOT ME ROCKIN' AND A-ROLLIN' ♪
♪ ROCKIN' AND A-REELIN', BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ BA-BA-BA BA-BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ WENT TO A DANCE ♪
♪ LOOKIN' FOR ROMANCE ♪
♪ SAW BARBARA ANN, SO I THOUGHT I'D TAKE A CHANCE ♪
♪ WITH BARBARA ANN ♪
♪ TAKE MY HAND ♪
♪ YOU GOT ME ROCKIN' AND A-ROLLIN' ♪
♪ ROCKIN' AND A-REELIN', BARBARA ANN ♪
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