1 00:00:24,629 --> 00:00:26,371 In the year of Our Lord 1,123, 2 00:00:26,712 --> 00:00:31,251 King Louis vl, known as "The Fat", waged war against his cousin, 3 00:00:31,463 --> 00:00:34,828 Henry l, King of England and Duke of Normandy. 4 00:00:35,963 --> 00:00:38,167 Many brave knights fought beside him. 5 00:00:38,838 --> 00:00:42,914 They believed in God and the forces of Evil. 6 00:00:50,838 --> 00:00:51,537 Your Majesty, 7 00:00:51,796 --> 00:00:53,170 time is of the essence. 8 00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:55,335 Need I remind you we are in their camp? 9 00:00:55,547 --> 00:00:58,580 silence, Montmirail. Love knows not haste! 10 00:01:09,922 --> 00:01:11,664 sire Godefroy! 11 00:01:12,422 --> 00:01:13,831 The English! 12 00:01:14,339 --> 00:01:15,452 My vassal sees 13 00:01:15,672 --> 00:01:16,916 horsemen approaching. 14 00:01:17,922 --> 00:01:19,036 We are coming. 15 00:01:19,797 --> 00:01:23,128 I beg of you, Your Majesty, make haste! 16 00:01:23,339 --> 00:01:25,828 Adieu, my sweet. I must join my men. 17 00:01:26,047 --> 00:01:27,291 Will I see you soon? 18 00:01:27,881 --> 00:01:30,879 When my cousin, the King of England, makes amends. 19 00:01:32,006 --> 00:01:33,748 Do you love me, Kathleen? 20 00:01:35,923 --> 00:01:38,293 Then accord me one last favor, should I die. 21 00:01:39,090 --> 00:01:41,080 - Hush hush... - show me your ankles. 22 00:01:46,756 --> 00:01:48,249 I beseech thee, lady-love. 23 00:01:53,465 --> 00:01:55,372 Higher. Up to your knees. 24 00:02:00,548 --> 00:02:03,333 My God! How beautiful! 25 00:02:05,132 --> 00:02:05,878 sire... 26 00:02:06,090 --> 00:02:07,003 they're coming. 27 00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:21,787 Come, sire. 28 00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:58,081 THE vIsITORs 29 00:03:02,134 --> 00:03:03,247 This way. 30 00:03:32,093 --> 00:03:33,835 King! I capture thee! 31 00:03:34,510 --> 00:03:35,967 Let me, my King! 32 00:03:37,385 --> 00:03:39,671 Liar! The King is never captured. 33 00:03:39,885 --> 00:03:41,129 Not even in chess. 34 00:03:47,135 --> 00:03:48,379 Toil! Never recoil! 35 00:04:13,969 --> 00:04:15,675 sound the horns! The King! 36 00:04:59,137 --> 00:05:00,713 Master! You're alive! 37 00:05:01,220 --> 00:05:02,168 God be praised! 38 00:05:02,387 --> 00:05:04,792 I managed to save your horse and your arms. 39 00:05:05,012 --> 00:05:06,968 You managed to flee, as usual. 40 00:05:07,471 --> 00:05:08,300 Castrated clod! 41 00:05:08,512 --> 00:05:10,302 sire Godefroy, The King summons you. 42 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:12,922 Castrated clod! 43 00:05:13,137 --> 00:05:14,760 sires... the King! 44 00:05:23,429 --> 00:05:25,052 My kind knight Godefroy 45 00:05:25,555 --> 00:05:27,592 merits indeed his name "The Hardy". 46 00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:30,756 His baldrick was nary stuckolded. 47 00:05:31,138 --> 00:05:32,133 With his sword, 48 00:05:32,346 --> 00:05:34,337 he yslaked a scurvy English head. 49 00:05:35,055 --> 00:05:36,334 Godefroy Amaury de Malfete, 50 00:05:36,722 --> 00:05:39,127 Count of Montmirail, of Apremont, and of Popincourt 51 00:05:39,555 --> 00:05:41,427 I shall thus reward your valor. 52 00:05:41,847 --> 00:05:43,802 sire, I am your eternal servant. 53 00:05:44,055 --> 00:05:45,880 I know you desire descendants. 54 00:05:46,097 --> 00:05:49,178 You have one week to fetch 55 00:05:49,389 --> 00:05:51,379 one of the fairest Wenches in the Kingdom: 56 00:05:51,764 --> 00:05:55,260 the daughter of the Duke of Puglia. I know you adore her. 57 00:05:55,472 --> 00:05:56,669 she is yours to wed. 58 00:05:57,014 --> 00:05:59,253 How can I thank thee? 59 00:05:59,639 --> 00:06:01,464 To serve my King is my Honor. 60 00:06:02,056 --> 00:06:03,383 Long live the King! 61 00:06:03,681 --> 00:06:05,173 Long live the King! 62 00:06:05,389 --> 00:06:06,930 Long live the King! 63 00:06:07,139 --> 00:06:09,130 - Who is he? - Jacquasse the Crass. 64 00:06:09,389 --> 00:06:12,222 My vassal. He should be waiting outside. 65 00:06:13,514 --> 00:06:17,259 He lacks grace, but he sniffs out a trail like a good hound. 66 00:06:20,806 --> 00:06:23,840 We must avoid the Forest of Malcombe, and pass by Montargis. 67 00:06:24,098 --> 00:06:25,046 Avoid the forest? 68 00:06:25,265 --> 00:06:28,298 You know it's haunted, sire. No one dares penetrate it. 69 00:06:28,515 --> 00:06:29,344 Hogwash! 70 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,216 My betrothed must not wait! 71 00:06:32,265 --> 00:06:34,007 What about the witch of Malcombe? 72 00:06:34,265 --> 00:06:35,923 Ride ahead of The Crass. 73 00:06:53,182 --> 00:06:55,386 she can turn an army into frog vomit. 74 00:06:55,599 --> 00:06:57,755 At her touch, your skin spits pus. 75 00:06:58,307 --> 00:06:59,800 and you pisseth mud. 76 00:07:01,307 --> 00:07:02,883 she can damn 7 generations. 77 00:07:06,808 --> 00:07:08,348 We're doomed! 78 00:07:08,599 --> 00:07:10,341 Doomed! 79 00:07:48,559 --> 00:07:49,672 Per Ansia 80 00:07:49,975 --> 00:07:51,682 Queribus Memorium 81 00:07:51,892 --> 00:07:53,717 "Halt or becometh a slug." 82 00:07:53,976 --> 00:07:55,516 It's Latin and visigoth. 83 00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:57,005 The Devil's drool! 84 00:08:02,767 --> 00:08:04,344 A Black sabbath. Let's splitteth! 85 00:08:16,351 --> 00:08:17,299 What does she want? 86 00:08:17,518 --> 00:08:20,220 To make that old hag young again. It's impossible! 87 00:08:21,185 --> 00:08:23,259 Drink! Drink! 88 00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:41,553 Where is she? 89 00:08:41,977 --> 00:08:44,098 Fear not. she'll drop back in. 90 00:08:49,227 --> 00:08:52,593 What a blast to have a virgin's unpolluted body again! 91 00:08:52,811 --> 00:08:53,972 she's plug-ugly! 92 00:08:54,186 --> 00:08:56,591 Just like the day I married her! 93 00:08:58,227 --> 00:08:59,601 It's devildom! 94 00:09:03,019 --> 00:09:04,181 surrender, she-Devil! 95 00:09:26,853 --> 00:09:27,967 We'll dismember her 96 00:09:28,187 --> 00:09:29,763 and slice out her tongue. 97 00:09:29,978 --> 00:09:31,886 Let rats gnaw on her innards. 98 00:09:34,604 --> 00:09:36,429 No lady is tortured on my lands. 99 00:09:36,645 --> 00:09:37,593 Just burn her. 100 00:09:37,812 --> 00:09:39,470 Thank you, sire. 101 00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:41,719 Thank you. You are too good! 102 00:09:45,312 --> 00:09:47,137 At last... my castle. 103 00:09:50,521 --> 00:09:52,227 Unpack our best apparels 104 00:09:52,437 --> 00:09:53,432 to honor my beloved. 105 00:09:53,646 --> 00:09:55,020 Jacquasse, help me change. 106 00:09:55,229 --> 00:09:55,893 Yes, sire. 107 00:09:56,479 --> 00:09:57,889 I have no fine apparels. 108 00:09:58,104 --> 00:09:59,763 she won't even see you. 109 00:10:01,604 --> 00:10:03,761 My shoes and my fanciest shell. 110 00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:06,807 Ganelon, sound the horn to announce my arrival. 111 00:10:13,396 --> 00:10:15,138 How thrilled am l, sire Fulbert, 112 00:10:15,355 --> 00:10:17,429 that my son weddeth your sweet 113 00:10:17,646 --> 00:10:18,926 and gentle daughter. 114 00:10:19,147 --> 00:10:21,849 I wanted her to weddeth a Duke, 115 00:10:22,272 --> 00:10:24,227 but our Fat King decided otherwise. 116 00:10:25,355 --> 00:10:26,433 Cursed be love. 117 00:10:27,563 --> 00:10:29,554 More wine! Let me piss a-plenty! 118 00:10:32,647 --> 00:10:36,178 Father, you promised nary to burp for my marriage. 119 00:10:42,439 --> 00:10:44,097 The Count of Montmirail! 120 00:10:46,356 --> 00:10:49,887 Frenegonde! where are you going? Frenegonde! Come back! 121 00:10:51,814 --> 00:10:53,437 Come back this instant! 122 00:10:53,939 --> 00:10:55,930 Frenegonde! Come back! 123 00:10:58,148 --> 00:10:59,806 No Duke's daughter runs after 124 00:11:00,023 --> 00:11:01,136 a mere Count. 125 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,353 You look good and gentle. 126 00:11:08,231 --> 00:11:09,510 And mighty uncomfortable. 127 00:11:09,981 --> 00:11:10,680 Why? 128 00:11:23,690 --> 00:11:25,728 Zounds! The flask falleth all alone. 129 00:11:25,940 --> 00:11:28,263 Give it to me. My thirst needs a-quenching! 130 00:11:36,649 --> 00:11:37,597 The castle! 131 00:11:38,399 --> 00:11:39,347 Holy scrotums! 132 00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:42,106 It swelleth like a blowfish! 133 00:11:47,857 --> 00:11:49,185 It's wearing a wig! 134 00:11:53,274 --> 00:11:55,016 sire Godefroy, are you not well? 135 00:12:01,483 --> 00:12:02,892 By what devil-craft? 136 00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:06,104 What's wrong? 137 00:12:12,317 --> 00:12:14,887 Come back, you wicked wench! 138 00:12:15,358 --> 00:12:16,104 Come back! 139 00:12:17,525 --> 00:12:19,397 Come back, you foul slut! 140 00:12:19,733 --> 00:12:21,854 God shield! A bear is chasing her! 141 00:12:24,150 --> 00:12:25,180 My crossbow! 142 00:12:27,650 --> 00:12:28,728 Come back! 143 00:12:28,984 --> 00:12:30,441 There's no bear. 144 00:12:33,775 --> 00:12:35,683 steer clear, beloved! steer clear! 145 00:12:49,318 --> 00:12:50,182 Father! 146 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,186 I saw a huge beast. 147 00:13:33,944 --> 00:13:36,977 I'll spend my life in a convent, faithful to you. 148 00:13:37,277 --> 00:13:39,647 I can ne'er wed the man who killed my father. 149 00:13:41,402 --> 00:13:43,192 I understand, my betrothed. 150 00:13:43,403 --> 00:13:44,682 I'll be faithful too. 151 00:13:45,486 --> 00:13:47,690 I shall ne'er marry... 152 00:13:47,903 --> 00:13:49,443 ne'er have descendants. 153 00:13:49,653 --> 00:13:51,478 Don't do me any favors. 154 00:14:27,820 --> 00:14:28,982 What are you up to? 155 00:14:29,196 --> 00:14:30,985 I Was praying for his saIvation. 156 00:14:31,196 --> 00:14:32,688 Where is my father's wizard? 157 00:14:33,071 --> 00:14:34,445 Eusaebius? 158 00:14:44,071 --> 00:14:44,936 I found him. 159 00:14:45,738 --> 00:14:47,859 He lives yonder, not far from here. 160 00:14:48,071 --> 00:14:49,694 But they say he's senile. 161 00:14:49,904 --> 00:14:53,105 I can make your Duke live again. 162 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:57,443 But you must know no fear. 163 00:14:57,905 --> 00:14:59,149 Only God can do that! 164 00:14:59,405 --> 00:15:03,233 You are right. Only God can bring back the dead. 165 00:15:03,738 --> 00:15:05,314 But there is another way. 166 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:10,271 Time is a mountain, pierced by many hidden tunnels. 167 00:15:10,488 --> 00:15:14,150 My magic spells can give you access to them. 168 00:15:20,572 --> 00:15:21,437 Meet Angueran. 169 00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:23,812 scarface Angueran. At your service. 170 00:15:24,030 --> 00:15:25,404 And my loyal Ganelon. 171 00:15:26,364 --> 00:15:27,691 You shall return 172 00:15:27,906 --> 00:15:29,695 just before the Duke's death. 173 00:15:29,906 --> 00:15:34,148 If you find enough force in yourself... 174 00:15:34,364 --> 00:15:37,564 you will be able to change the course of the arrow. 175 00:15:37,781 --> 00:15:39,439 You'll wed your betrothed, 176 00:15:40,031 --> 00:15:41,938 and have the lineage you desire. 177 00:15:43,239 --> 00:15:44,862 It's sheer lunacy! 178 00:15:45,114 --> 00:15:47,437 Where is my powder of leech? 179 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,649 I haven't done this in ages. I'm a bit rusty. 180 00:15:50,865 --> 00:15:52,357 He's senile! 181 00:15:53,281 --> 00:15:54,774 Here it is. 182 00:15:57,531 --> 00:15:59,854 If you fear not, 183 00:16:00,073 --> 00:16:02,988 Godefroy the Hardy, drink. 184 00:16:03,948 --> 00:16:07,894 You'll arrive in the forest just before the accident. 185 00:16:08,115 --> 00:16:09,608 Don't trust the old fool! 186 00:16:09,824 --> 00:16:13,355 If sire Godefroy doesn't return, We'll lock you in his dungeon 187 00:16:13,699 --> 00:16:14,942 With your Book of spells. 188 00:16:15,157 --> 00:16:16,566 Trust me. 189 00:16:16,782 --> 00:16:19,614 Don't drink it, sire. You'll turn into a frog, 190 00:16:19,824 --> 00:16:22,110 or a bat, or a goat, or a nun's ass. 191 00:16:23,657 --> 00:16:24,936 Perhaps you're right. 192 00:16:25,157 --> 00:16:26,188 Drink first. 193 00:16:26,407 --> 00:16:27,023 Me? 194 00:16:27,241 --> 00:16:28,402 I'll see if you 195 00:16:28,616 --> 00:16:29,943 turn into a nun's ass. 196 00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:32,148 If you do, I'll seek revenge. 197 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:33,775 Drink! 198 00:16:46,075 --> 00:16:46,987 so, my Crass? 199 00:16:47,283 --> 00:16:49,238 It tastes like pig excrement. 200 00:16:50,741 --> 00:16:52,981 Candied concoctions are for evil sorcerers. 201 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,814 Drink hastily. I must say the incantation. 202 00:16:57,158 --> 00:16:57,940 If I drank... 203 00:16:58,992 --> 00:16:59,904 am I going too? 204 00:17:05,408 --> 00:17:07,234 say the incantation. 205 00:17:59,493 --> 00:18:04,067 They've gone into the Tunnels of Time! 206 00:18:10,369 --> 00:18:11,530 What's that noise? 207 00:18:11,744 --> 00:18:12,573 What did you step on? 208 00:18:14,202 --> 00:18:15,067 Rotten eggs. 209 00:18:15,744 --> 00:18:17,367 I forgot the quail eggs. 210 00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:20,825 What a catastrophe! 211 00:19:06,995 --> 00:19:08,453 stand up, peasant. 212 00:19:08,662 --> 00:19:09,361 Where are We? 213 00:19:10,370 --> 00:19:11,235 And our friends? 214 00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:12,698 This isn't my Forest. 215 00:19:13,454 --> 00:19:14,911 The wizard misled us! 216 00:19:16,121 --> 00:19:18,195 We have tWo legs, sire. And tWo arms. 217 00:19:18,412 --> 00:19:20,403 'Tis miracle enough. 218 00:19:20,996 --> 00:19:23,947 Fetch me a horse. Make haste! 219 00:20:10,622 --> 00:20:12,696 Pugh! It stinketh! 220 00:20:25,414 --> 00:20:26,196 He's crazy! 221 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,872 sire! A Moor! 222 00:20:44,165 --> 00:20:46,072 A Moor in the Devil's chariot! 223 00:20:46,290 --> 00:20:48,411 'Tis metal, With no oxen to pull it! 224 00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:50,111 sire, come see! 225 00:20:55,082 --> 00:20:57,405 Thither, sire! Thither! 226 00:21:01,582 --> 00:21:02,530 They're psychos. 227 00:21:04,249 --> 00:21:05,113 They're psychos. 228 00:21:11,749 --> 00:21:13,372 Psychos! 229 00:21:52,125 --> 00:21:53,618 Whose shield is this? 230 00:21:54,667 --> 00:21:57,120 Lord our Father, We have sinned. 231 00:21:57,875 --> 00:21:59,203 We'll bear this ordeal 232 00:21:59,875 --> 00:22:00,740 to the end. 233 00:22:01,209 --> 00:22:03,200 Give us the courage never to recoil. 234 00:22:03,417 --> 00:22:04,791 We Will obey Thee. 235 00:22:05,709 --> 00:22:07,166 Amen. 236 00:22:20,376 --> 00:22:22,781 It stinketh. We can't breathe! We're doomed! 237 00:22:23,001 --> 00:22:24,743 No, I smell victuals. 238 00:22:27,543 --> 00:22:29,617 More diabolic chariots! 239 00:22:29,835 --> 00:22:31,327 Let's stay in the Forest. 240 00:22:31,543 --> 00:22:32,159 No! 241 00:22:32,376 --> 00:22:34,414 We can't fight on an empty belly. 242 00:22:35,585 --> 00:22:36,366 Two burgers! 243 00:22:37,293 --> 00:22:39,580 French fries and ketchup! 244 00:22:56,252 --> 00:22:57,366 Yo guys! 245 00:22:57,586 --> 00:22:58,782 Is it Halloween? 246 00:22:59,377 --> 00:23:01,664 You're dressed to go trick or treating! 247 00:23:01,877 --> 00:23:03,157 silence, strumpet. 248 00:23:03,377 --> 00:23:05,783 Take this and go your way. 249 00:23:08,002 --> 00:23:08,950 Leave us be. 250 00:23:09,169 --> 00:23:11,574 Holy Moses! 251 00:23:11,794 --> 00:23:13,702 Are you Tv stars? 252 00:23:13,919 --> 00:23:15,460 shove off! shove off! 253 00:23:15,669 --> 00:23:17,826 I don't want to impose, Ladies and Gents, 254 00:23:18,044 --> 00:23:22,951 but since you're in show-biz, do you know any... big-time agents? 255 00:23:25,461 --> 00:23:27,251 Quiet, peasant, or I'll smacketh you. 256 00:23:27,461 --> 00:23:30,246 It just so happens I studied song and dance. 257 00:23:30,461 --> 00:23:32,369 If you could get me an audition, 258 00:23:32,962 --> 00:23:34,336 it'd change my life. 259 00:23:35,420 --> 00:23:39,200 What's wrong? I'm no Worse than Madonna! 260 00:23:39,962 --> 00:23:42,201 Let us leave this vile baWd. 261 00:23:43,879 --> 00:23:45,336 Listen... 262 00:23:56,171 --> 00:24:00,460 still hanging around, sticky fingers? Give back the steaks! 263 00:24:01,296 --> 00:24:04,412 Watch out! I'm a political refugee! 264 00:24:04,629 --> 00:24:07,034 I'm sick of your shenanigans! 265 00:24:08,213 --> 00:24:09,587 Ho! lnnkeeper! 266 00:24:09,796 --> 00:24:11,538 You hit the fairer sex? 267 00:24:12,129 --> 00:24:15,709 What the hell do these two clowns want? 268 00:24:15,921 --> 00:24:17,544 This isn't a hobo hideout! 269 00:24:17,755 --> 00:24:19,959 I am Godefroy of Montmirail, Count of Apremont 270 00:24:20,171 --> 00:24:22,873 and of Popincourt. And I lord over my property. 271 00:24:23,088 --> 00:24:24,711 Mr. vautrot! Help! 272 00:24:27,005 --> 00:24:30,287 Call the cops! The bag lady's bothering Roger again! 273 00:24:32,797 --> 00:24:33,661 Murderer! 274 00:24:34,422 --> 00:24:36,745 Come on, toots! This guy is gun crazy! 275 00:24:37,297 --> 00:24:38,126 Attack, sire! 276 00:24:38,713 --> 00:24:40,372 On your knees, punk! 277 00:24:40,589 --> 00:24:42,875 Montjoie! st. Denis! 278 00:24:47,672 --> 00:24:49,414 Jacquasse! My Jacquasse! 279 00:24:56,797 --> 00:24:58,705 Easy does it, hot stuff. 280 00:24:58,922 --> 00:24:59,870 Attack! 281 00:25:04,839 --> 00:25:06,581 Montjoie! 282 00:25:07,006 --> 00:25:08,380 Montjoie! 283 00:25:27,048 --> 00:25:28,541 Asylum! 284 00:25:28,757 --> 00:25:29,420 Asylum! 285 00:25:31,507 --> 00:25:33,414 Father, I beseech the right to asylum. 286 00:25:34,423 --> 00:25:36,793 Mi... Mi, honey. 287 00:25:37,007 --> 00:25:39,412 That's it. 288 00:25:40,257 --> 00:25:42,959 Keep on practicing, love. I'll be right back. 289 00:25:46,007 --> 00:25:48,045 Hello, Countess? It's Father Herve. 290 00:25:48,257 --> 00:25:49,170 Hello, Father. 291 00:25:49,382 --> 00:25:52,629 Yes, well... My mass was interrupted... 292 00:25:52,841 --> 00:25:56,420 by a hooligan dressed in a very peculiar way. 293 00:25:56,632 --> 00:26:00,461 He claims to be the Count of Montmirail etc, etc... 294 00:26:00,674 --> 00:26:03,423 Quite frankly, he seems off his rocker. 295 00:26:03,633 --> 00:26:06,915 The Count of Montmirail? Daddy died in '81 . 296 00:26:07,133 --> 00:26:11,707 I know, Beatrice. I buried him. This one claims to be called "The Hardy". 297 00:26:11,925 --> 00:26:14,164 He has your family arms on his tunic. 298 00:26:14,383 --> 00:26:16,089 Godefroy the Hardy? How absurd. 299 00:26:17,383 --> 00:26:18,248 Come quickly. 300 00:26:19,508 --> 00:26:20,670 He looks ornery. 301 00:26:20,925 --> 00:26:24,504 Hello? Hello?... Father Herve? 302 00:26:30,425 --> 00:26:32,215 What is this? 303 00:26:33,009 --> 00:26:34,916 It's the UNICEF calendar. 304 00:26:39,675 --> 00:26:40,339 Hurry! 305 00:26:41,217 --> 00:26:45,958 He's busy praying. He saw today's date and went into a state of shock. 306 00:26:46,176 --> 00:26:48,545 He claims to be born in 1 076. 307 00:26:48,842 --> 00:26:50,216 He's a crackpot. 308 00:26:54,759 --> 00:26:55,540 My betrothed. 309 00:26:57,343 --> 00:26:58,919 My betrothed. 310 00:27:00,218 --> 00:27:01,841 You are here? 311 00:27:02,093 --> 00:27:04,795 Frenegonde! My beautiful Frenegonde! 312 00:27:06,009 --> 00:27:07,751 stop! That totally hurts! 313 00:27:07,968 --> 00:27:09,758 Calm down, you brute! 314 00:27:09,968 --> 00:27:10,584 It is l. 315 00:27:10,801 --> 00:27:12,294 stop. I don't know you. 316 00:27:12,510 --> 00:27:13,209 Frenegonde. 317 00:27:13,926 --> 00:27:16,711 The Countess doesn't know you. 318 00:27:17,135 --> 00:27:18,296 You've made a mistake. 319 00:27:18,510 --> 00:27:20,666 Cease, Father. 320 00:27:22,052 --> 00:27:24,256 Dare I understand? 321 00:27:26,260 --> 00:27:28,132 This fair dame is not my beloved, 322 00:27:28,885 --> 00:27:30,675 but my descendant. 323 00:27:36,260 --> 00:27:37,540 1 000 years betwixt us. 324 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:41,457 Yes. I have to go. I don't know him from Adam. 325 00:27:42,094 --> 00:27:44,215 I'm from the time of Louis vl. Help me. 326 00:27:44,427 --> 00:27:45,589 shall I call for help? 327 00:27:45,802 --> 00:27:48,421 No, this very nice man Won't harm us. 328 00:27:49,261 --> 00:27:50,588 Will 50 francs do? 329 00:27:50,802 --> 00:27:52,758 I must return to my time. 330 00:27:52,969 --> 00:27:54,083 Know'st thou a wizard? 331 00:27:54,303 --> 00:27:57,633 No. sorry, no wizard. I know the wizard of Oz. 332 00:27:58,136 --> 00:28:00,043 Where is this "Oz"? 333 00:28:00,511 --> 00:28:03,178 Don't budge. We'll take care of you. 334 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:14,675 Thank you, my sweet. 335 00:28:15,512 --> 00:28:16,257 It's a miracle. 336 00:28:16,470 --> 00:28:18,507 Okay, call the police. 337 00:28:21,178 --> 00:28:23,465 - It's not very Christian. - Of course it is. 338 00:28:26,637 --> 00:28:27,667 Pugh! How ugly! 339 00:28:27,887 --> 00:28:30,422 Without them, We couldn't Watch Tv. Here... 340 00:28:30,637 --> 00:28:32,178 Just what the doc ordered. 341 00:28:34,554 --> 00:28:37,303 Thanks, bawd. You're ugly as sin, but good-hearted. 342 00:28:37,512 --> 00:28:38,542 Ever see your nose? 343 00:28:39,887 --> 00:28:42,293 When you sneeze, is it typhoon season? 344 00:28:42,512 --> 00:28:44,918 Your wine is fruity, but a tad watery. 345 00:28:45,137 --> 00:28:47,258 The wine's mine, swine. 346 00:28:51,971 --> 00:28:55,337 What a raunchy eater! You eat the plastic too? 347 00:28:58,513 --> 00:29:00,089 The wizard was senile. 348 00:29:00,305 --> 00:29:02,295 If I catch him, I'll skin him alive. 349 00:29:02,596 --> 00:29:04,552 Don't take it so bad. 350 00:29:05,138 --> 00:29:07,010 Those pigs aIways get us. 351 00:29:07,221 --> 00:29:08,880 Is your buddy a wrestler? 352 00:29:09,221 --> 00:29:10,335 I saw him on Tv. 353 00:29:11,597 --> 00:29:13,422 I wanted to be a singer... 354 00:29:13,638 --> 00:29:15,878 but they're all full of shit in show-biz. 355 00:29:17,847 --> 00:29:18,877 My sire is a warrior, 356 00:29:19,097 --> 00:29:22,095 a trusted aide of our King. The Count of Montmirail. 357 00:29:22,305 --> 00:29:23,502 Montmirail? 358 00:29:23,764 --> 00:29:25,173 The dentist's old lady? 359 00:29:25,389 --> 00:29:27,012 He couldn't marry her! 360 00:29:27,222 --> 00:29:28,964 That's why we're here. 361 00:29:29,180 --> 00:29:30,377 They're not married? 362 00:29:31,180 --> 00:29:33,883 No kidding! The nerve of that prude! 363 00:29:34,097 --> 00:29:36,764 she acts so holier-than-thou at the rummage sale. 364 00:29:36,972 --> 00:29:37,718 What a bitch! 365 00:29:42,597 --> 00:29:43,794 You came so fast. 366 00:29:44,014 --> 00:29:46,681 squadron sergeant-Major Gibon. At your service, Countess. 367 00:29:46,889 --> 00:29:48,631 I brought the National Guard. 368 00:29:48,848 --> 00:29:49,926 Where's the offender? 369 00:29:50,139 --> 00:29:52,344 My stars! Your squadron is quite impressive. 370 00:29:52,556 --> 00:29:55,507 He's a bit brutal, but he's just a poor homeless person. 371 00:29:55,723 --> 00:29:56,920 They're back-up. 372 00:29:57,140 --> 00:29:58,798 This is Doctor Bauvin. 373 00:30:00,598 --> 00:30:02,838 First we'll talk to him. size up the beast. 374 00:30:03,056 --> 00:30:05,971 Let's go, Bauvin. 375 00:30:07,598 --> 00:30:08,297 Good luck! 376 00:30:16,348 --> 00:30:17,178 Where is she? 377 00:30:17,390 --> 00:30:19,511 Enough! ldentity papers! Green card! 378 00:30:19,724 --> 00:30:21,595 Psychology, sergeant-Major. 379 00:30:21,807 --> 00:30:24,047 Hello there. Are you from around here? 380 00:30:24,265 --> 00:30:25,639 Bow down before me, 381 00:30:25,849 --> 00:30:26,962 and I shall be clement. 382 00:30:27,182 --> 00:30:29,587 Why the costume? Are you an actor? 383 00:30:29,807 --> 00:30:30,755 Is this for Tv? 384 00:30:32,807 --> 00:30:34,964 Candid Camera? should I smile? 385 00:30:35,557 --> 00:30:37,513 Where is my descendant? Answer or die! 386 00:30:37,724 --> 00:30:40,509 Let me, sergeant-Major. He's a sicko! 387 00:30:40,724 --> 00:30:43,675 A little shot and you'll be good as new. 388 00:30:43,891 --> 00:30:46,012 Give me your arm. 389 00:30:53,225 --> 00:30:56,388 Officer, send in your men on the double! 390 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,349 He's a maniac! He took the doctor hostage! 391 00:31:16,267 --> 00:31:18,222 Thanks for coming! 392 00:31:25,059 --> 00:31:27,263 Montjoie! st. Denis! 393 00:31:31,684 --> 00:31:33,342 Toil, toil! Never recoil! 394 00:31:40,893 --> 00:31:44,341 I have a horrible doubt. This tramp just may be part of my family. 395 00:31:44,559 --> 00:31:45,175 What? 396 00:31:45,393 --> 00:31:47,881 "Montjoie" is the battle cry of French knights. 397 00:31:49,810 --> 00:31:53,720 "Toil! Never recoil!" is the motto of Godefroy the Hardy. 398 00:31:53,935 --> 00:31:55,427 It's my family's motto. 399 00:31:55,643 --> 00:31:57,385 Now you have doubts? 400 00:31:58,101 --> 00:31:59,381 He's calmed doWn. 401 00:31:59,601 --> 00:32:02,802 Hold him down. I'll put him to sleep. 402 00:32:12,519 --> 00:32:14,639 No, my mistake! I never saw him before. 403 00:32:15,310 --> 00:32:17,135 It can't hurt. I killed the nerve. 404 00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:18,679 Jean-Pierre, come here. 405 00:32:18,894 --> 00:32:19,924 Excuse me, ma'am. 406 00:32:20,394 --> 00:32:21,721 I'll just be a minute. 407 00:32:23,394 --> 00:32:25,633 Do you remember my cousin Hubert? 408 00:32:25,852 --> 00:32:27,559 Martha's son. Naval Academy. 409 00:32:27,769 --> 00:32:29,807 The race car driver? I never met him. 410 00:32:30,019 --> 00:32:33,183 Obviously. He disappeared in Borneo before our marriage. 411 00:32:33,394 --> 00:32:35,017 - I think he's alive. - What? 412 00:32:35,228 --> 00:32:37,681 As wacky as it sounds, today's Tarzan... 413 00:32:37,894 --> 00:32:40,015 is probably Hubert. He's totally changed. 414 00:32:40,228 --> 00:32:41,555 You said he was a bum. 415 00:32:41,769 --> 00:32:43,227 He had family air. 416 00:32:43,436 --> 00:32:46,387 The sensual nose, the large forehead... 417 00:32:46,645 --> 00:32:49,845 You meet a derelict With a shiny red schnozz, and noW... 418 00:32:50,061 --> 00:32:51,851 he's a long-lost sensual cousin! 419 00:32:52,061 --> 00:32:53,602 A cousin with our arms! 420 00:32:53,811 --> 00:32:55,719 Don't just stand there. Come look. 421 00:32:58,312 --> 00:33:00,349 Look. The Montmirail family album. 422 00:33:01,187 --> 00:33:03,094 Here's our first Count, Godefroy The Hardy. 423 00:33:03,312 --> 00:33:05,137 It's the same nose and forehead. 424 00:33:05,353 --> 00:33:08,470 That's a 900-year old drawing. What's the link with Hubert? 425 00:33:08,687 --> 00:33:11,602 I'll call the castle. When Hubert was 1 9, 426 00:33:11,812 --> 00:33:14,016 he posed for the last family portrait. 427 00:33:14,229 --> 00:33:15,638 A wild-goose chase! 428 00:33:24,687 --> 00:33:26,844 Beatrice Goulard de Montmirail for Mr. Jacquart. 429 00:33:27,062 --> 00:33:29,468 Hello, Countess. It's Frederick. 430 00:33:29,687 --> 00:33:31,228 Fred, is Jacques-Henri there? 431 00:33:31,438 --> 00:33:34,684 One minute. A word of warning: he's repairing the boiler. 432 00:33:34,896 --> 00:33:35,761 He's on edge. 433 00:33:35,979 --> 00:33:36,725 Jacques-Henri! 434 00:33:38,229 --> 00:33:40,019 Why did you jerk the lever so violently? 435 00:33:40,229 --> 00:33:41,343 You asked me to. 436 00:33:41,563 --> 00:33:42,842 spare me. 437 00:33:43,063 --> 00:33:45,349 My stunning vest is now a filthy rag. 438 00:33:45,563 --> 00:33:46,842 Jacques-Henri! 439 00:33:47,063 --> 00:33:48,853 Why are you shouting? 440 00:33:49,063 --> 00:33:50,141 Beatrice de Montmirail. 441 00:33:50,355 --> 00:33:51,895 What a ball-buster. 442 00:33:52,105 --> 00:33:52,969 Jacquart? 443 00:33:53,188 --> 00:33:54,302 Jacquart? 444 00:33:54,522 --> 00:33:55,137 Yes? 445 00:33:55,355 --> 00:33:56,682 Boiler trouble? 446 00:33:56,897 --> 00:33:58,094 The burner is ruined. 447 00:33:58,313 --> 00:34:00,269 Jean-Francois yanked on the lever. 448 00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:01,642 Oil spurt out. 449 00:34:01,855 --> 00:34:04,770 I was nearly disfigured. Not to mention my jacket. 450 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:06,973 No one is of any help. 451 00:34:08,314 --> 00:34:09,511 At least no one died. 452 00:34:09,730 --> 00:34:10,725 Thank God. 453 00:34:10,939 --> 00:34:11,933 I have a problem too. 454 00:34:12,147 --> 00:34:13,521 Can I ask you a favor? 455 00:34:15,439 --> 00:34:18,437 Go upstairs to the Gallery. In our last family portrait... 456 00:34:18,647 --> 00:34:20,851 there's a Royal Navy cadet. 457 00:34:21,064 --> 00:34:24,726 second row. The kepi with a feather. Do you have a Pola? 458 00:34:24,939 --> 00:34:25,555 A what? 459 00:34:25,772 --> 00:34:29,055 A Polaroid, Jacques. The children threw ours in the toilet. 460 00:34:29,273 --> 00:34:32,520 We have no "Pola". And my name is Jacques-Henri, not Jacques. 461 00:34:32,731 --> 00:34:37,353 Try to understand, Jacquart/ my cousin is in an insane asylum 462 00:34:37,606 --> 00:34:38,471 by accident. 463 00:34:38,689 --> 00:34:40,147 I can't help your cousin. 464 00:34:40,356 --> 00:34:41,137 We're busy. 465 00:34:42,565 --> 00:34:45,646 The Bernay and Bernay Bank is here for a seminar. 466 00:34:45,856 --> 00:34:48,061 Edgar Bernay will be bathing in cold water. 467 00:34:48,273 --> 00:34:51,520 so, even if I had a "Pola", I wouldn't take your picture. 468 00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:54,893 Okay, I'll hang up. I'll deal with this myself. 469 00:34:55,107 --> 00:34:56,055 Toodle-oo. 470 00:34:57,982 --> 00:34:58,930 Good riddance. 471 00:35:00,648 --> 00:35:01,347 sir... 472 00:35:01,565 --> 00:35:02,181 Yes. 473 00:35:02,399 --> 00:35:05,681 The rooms are horribly humid. Mr. Bernay is sneezing non-stop. 474 00:35:05,899 --> 00:35:08,850 He wanted to relax after his speech on sponsoring. 475 00:35:09,107 --> 00:35:10,516 so he took a shower. 476 00:35:10,732 --> 00:35:11,396 Ice-cold. 477 00:35:11,607 --> 00:35:12,981 His head is full of shampoo. 478 00:35:13,191 --> 00:35:15,477 If you can't get the hot water back, 479 00:35:15,691 --> 00:35:17,681 We'll have to cut short the seminar. 480 00:35:18,982 --> 00:35:20,440 Does the lnstamatic work? 481 00:35:20,691 --> 00:35:22,765 I'm draining Mrs. Pelissier's molar. 482 00:35:23,399 --> 00:35:24,513 It'll be fine. 483 00:35:25,274 --> 00:35:27,348 This is the Montmirail's house. 484 00:35:33,066 --> 00:35:34,973 Take it easy! 485 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:39,355 They'll bawI us out. stop! 486 00:35:39,566 --> 00:35:41,640 They'll call the cops for noise pollution. 487 00:35:41,858 --> 00:35:43,648 Try ringing the bell. 488 00:35:48,067 --> 00:35:50,520 Knock it off! They'll kick us out! 489 00:35:59,817 --> 00:36:02,388 Jacquart, Why are you dressed like that? 490 00:36:03,984 --> 00:36:05,181 Excuse our excessive chiming, 491 00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:06,728 your Grace... 492 00:36:06,942 --> 00:36:07,937 Lady Frenegonde! 493 00:36:09,025 --> 00:36:10,602 Let me go! You're crazy! 494 00:36:13,484 --> 00:36:14,645 she's my mistress! 495 00:36:14,859 --> 00:36:15,558 What? 496 00:36:15,776 --> 00:36:17,434 Jean-Pierre, come here. 497 00:36:17,651 --> 00:36:19,855 Jacquart is calling me "Frenegonde" too. 498 00:36:20,067 --> 00:36:21,975 You slept with her? Don't worry. 499 00:36:22,693 --> 00:36:25,607 He looks weird but he's pals With Montmirail the stuntman. 500 00:36:26,109 --> 00:36:27,436 Montmirail the stuntman? 501 00:36:27,651 --> 00:36:30,602 You must mean Hubert, the race car driver. 502 00:36:30,859 --> 00:36:31,938 stuntman, wrestler... 503 00:36:32,193 --> 00:36:33,057 race car driver... 504 00:36:33,276 --> 00:36:34,189 same diff. 505 00:36:34,401 --> 00:36:35,515 But who are you? 506 00:36:36,526 --> 00:36:39,773 Jacquasse The Crass. You don't recognizeth me? 507 00:36:39,985 --> 00:36:43,018 No, I don't recognizeth you. You're Hubert's friend? 508 00:36:43,235 --> 00:36:45,272 Hubert de Montmirail, whatta hunk. 509 00:36:45,485 --> 00:36:46,894 And so considerate... 510 00:36:47,110 --> 00:36:49,065 Iike you, your Ladyship. 511 00:36:49,277 --> 00:36:51,267 And he gallops like Kerwin Costnere. 512 00:36:52,068 --> 00:36:54,639 Coward that I am, I lost track of my sire 513 00:36:54,860 --> 00:36:55,641 at the inn. 514 00:36:55,860 --> 00:36:57,104 They got in a brawI 515 00:36:57,319 --> 00:36:59,025 at Remi vautrot's pit stop. 516 00:36:59,235 --> 00:37:00,230 Whip me... 517 00:37:00,444 --> 00:37:02,067 your Ladyship! 518 00:37:04,194 --> 00:37:05,307 What is it? 519 00:37:07,236 --> 00:37:09,025 - Jacquart? - Thou know'st me? 520 00:37:09,236 --> 00:37:09,935 What? 521 00:37:10,152 --> 00:37:11,266 A Jacquart from hunger. 522 00:37:11,486 --> 00:37:12,232 I'm lost. 523 00:37:12,444 --> 00:37:13,190 Mr. Goulard... 524 00:37:13,611 --> 00:37:14,440 Yes, hello... 525 00:37:14,652 --> 00:37:15,849 He's a friend 526 00:37:16,069 --> 00:37:17,894 of Hubert's. According to her, 527 00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:21,192 Hubert has become a stuntman and a wrestler. 528 00:37:21,486 --> 00:37:23,891 What horrible teeth! Let's have a look. 529 00:37:27,111 --> 00:37:28,521 I'm no mule! Zounds! 530 00:37:28,736 --> 00:37:30,976 That ass bit me! I need a tetanus shot! 531 00:37:31,195 --> 00:37:33,067 He might even have rabies! 532 00:37:33,278 --> 00:37:35,897 It isn't Jacquart. I did his bridge-work. 533 00:37:36,111 --> 00:37:38,185 Obviously, Jean-Pierre. 534 00:37:38,403 --> 00:37:40,275 He proves that Hubert is alive. 535 00:37:40,487 --> 00:37:43,105 We have to get him out of the hospital. 536 00:37:43,862 --> 00:37:44,810 You banged the Countess? 537 00:37:46,903 --> 00:37:47,602 Bitch. 538 00:37:47,820 --> 00:37:51,150 The bum can't come. My car isn't Noah's ark. 539 00:37:53,945 --> 00:37:54,774 Open the window. 540 00:37:54,987 --> 00:37:56,859 His body odor is unbearable. 541 00:37:58,445 --> 00:38:00,068 He's very, very green. 542 00:38:01,695 --> 00:38:03,567 stop the car. He's going to vomit. 543 00:38:03,779 --> 00:38:04,809 Wait a second! 544 00:38:05,029 --> 00:38:06,059 Hold it in! 545 00:38:08,862 --> 00:38:09,941 It's coming! 546 00:38:16,029 --> 00:38:17,439 He got it all over. 547 00:38:17,738 --> 00:38:19,645 What a pig! He puked on my shoes! 548 00:38:21,071 --> 00:38:24,318 Your cousin is very violent. He nearly castrated me. 549 00:38:24,529 --> 00:38:26,734 Castrated clod! 550 00:38:26,946 --> 00:38:27,775 What? 551 00:38:28,488 --> 00:38:30,111 He saved our King's life. 552 00:38:30,321 --> 00:38:31,067 What? 553 00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:32,228 Ah, my youngling. 554 00:38:32,696 --> 00:38:34,486 Why did you abandon me? 555 00:38:36,113 --> 00:38:37,275 Their little red balls 556 00:38:37,488 --> 00:38:38,401 made me sleep. 557 00:38:38,613 --> 00:38:40,320 Master! Master! 558 00:38:40,530 --> 00:38:43,611 Why are you bound? How much is the ransom? 559 00:38:43,822 --> 00:38:45,066 silence, peasant! 560 00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:47,354 The "Iittle red balls" are valium. 561 00:38:47,613 --> 00:38:49,439 50 milligrams. He barely slept. 562 00:38:51,697 --> 00:38:54,648 Apothecary, I demand to be released immediately. 563 00:38:54,905 --> 00:38:56,019 Calm down. 564 00:38:57,239 --> 00:39:01,280 I am neither sick nor loony. I come from far, far away. 565 00:39:01,489 --> 00:39:02,519 Yes. 566 00:39:02,739 --> 00:39:05,820 He thinks no one understands who he is. 567 00:39:06,072 --> 00:39:07,482 Persecution mania. 568 00:39:07,697 --> 00:39:11,442 But it's true. He came from Borneo. He had an accident during a rally. 569 00:39:12,156 --> 00:39:13,353 Right, cousin Hubert? 570 00:39:13,698 --> 00:39:14,397 Cousin Hubert? 571 00:39:14,614 --> 00:39:16,439 Yes. Hubert de Montmirail. 572 00:39:16,656 --> 00:39:19,607 It's freaky... he has my father's hands. 573 00:39:20,614 --> 00:39:21,609 You know your name. 574 00:39:22,740 --> 00:39:25,109 He knows nothing. He's completely amnesiac. 575 00:39:25,323 --> 00:39:27,113 He says he's never watched Tv. 576 00:39:27,323 --> 00:39:29,148 Amnesiac? How tragic! 577 00:39:40,823 --> 00:39:43,028 His last remaining memories are 578 00:39:43,240 --> 00:39:45,030 a few facts from History class. 579 00:39:45,240 --> 00:39:46,235 Elementary stuff. 580 00:39:46,615 --> 00:39:48,523 It's often the case with amnesiacs. 581 00:39:49,699 --> 00:39:52,862 He speaks a hodgepodge of Latin and Old French. 582 00:39:53,240 --> 00:39:54,781 verbal diarrhea. 583 00:39:54,990 --> 00:39:56,187 Let him go. 584 00:39:56,949 --> 00:39:59,235 - Pawing at him won't help! - Compose yourself. 585 00:40:00,657 --> 00:40:01,688 Will you free him? 586 00:40:02,032 --> 00:40:04,651 Yes, only because your husband is a doctor, 587 00:40:04,866 --> 00:40:06,193 and he agrees to take 588 00:40:06,407 --> 00:40:07,355 full responsibility. 589 00:40:07,741 --> 00:40:09,234 Another relative of yours? 590 00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:11,152 No, not at all. 591 00:40:11,366 --> 00:40:13,024 An old friend of Hubert's. 592 00:40:13,241 --> 00:40:14,520 I belong to the Count. 593 00:40:15,699 --> 00:40:16,612 souplette, sire? 594 00:40:16,824 --> 00:40:19,941 Is he a foreigner? I don't understand him. 595 00:40:20,158 --> 00:40:22,481 Yes, that must be it. Come, cousin... 596 00:40:25,408 --> 00:40:29,319 Wait! lf you take him, take his outfit too. 597 00:40:29,658 --> 00:40:32,360 It smells like a billy goat here. It's repulsive. 598 00:40:37,450 --> 00:40:39,156 Here, take the valium. 599 00:40:39,367 --> 00:40:41,986 If he gets violent, give him five of them. 600 00:40:42,325 --> 00:40:43,403 Thank you. 601 00:40:45,909 --> 00:40:48,444 Two more lunatics roaming the streets. 602 00:40:49,075 --> 00:40:49,940 sit down here. 603 00:40:50,159 --> 00:40:52,482 Take care of him. I'll get the car. 604 00:40:56,617 --> 00:40:58,075 Lady Frenegonde is strange. 605 00:40:58,284 --> 00:41:00,773 she is not Lady Frenegonde. she's my descendant. 606 00:41:01,284 --> 00:41:04,448 My great great great great great great granddaughter. 607 00:41:04,993 --> 00:41:07,149 Your great great great great granddaughter? 608 00:41:08,201 --> 00:41:09,575 How terrible! 609 00:41:09,784 --> 00:41:13,399 My Crass, we're a 1 000 years old. It's a living hell. 610 00:41:16,285 --> 00:41:18,192 We must search the dungeon. 611 00:41:18,410 --> 00:41:21,112 Angueran swore to lock up the wizard and his Book. 612 00:41:21,326 --> 00:41:24,858 With the book, We can concoct the potion and go back in Time. 613 00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:27,364 Drink that again? Pugh! 614 00:41:29,202 --> 00:41:30,659 You'd rather stay here? 615 00:41:33,243 --> 00:41:33,942 Oh no! 616 00:41:40,077 --> 00:41:41,618 Is this too fast, Hubert? 617 00:41:41,827 --> 00:41:43,071 Do you feel sick? 618 00:41:43,285 --> 00:41:46,236 Open your eyes, sire Godefroy. You'll get used to it. 619 00:41:47,077 --> 00:41:48,984 Why "Godefroy" and not "Hubert"? 620 00:41:49,202 --> 00:41:50,612 Jean-Pierre, he has amnesia. 621 00:41:50,827 --> 00:41:52,617 Godefroy, Henri, suzy... 622 00:41:52,952 --> 00:41:56,400 Wait. Who has amnesia? Your cousin or that other skunk? 623 00:41:57,369 --> 00:41:58,531 They both do, Jean-Pierre. 624 00:41:58,827 --> 00:42:00,617 Try being more tolerant. 625 00:42:07,786 --> 00:42:09,741 Their feet reek! It's revolting! 626 00:42:09,953 --> 00:42:11,659 What an insufferable ride! 627 00:42:11,870 --> 00:42:14,702 Please... I didn't smell anything unusual. 628 00:42:19,536 --> 00:42:20,946 Did the kids behave? 629 00:42:21,161 --> 00:42:23,033 - Yes. - Okay, toodle-oo! 630 00:42:23,245 --> 00:42:26,077 Zounds! What happened to Nature? 631 00:42:26,662 --> 00:42:28,901 Everything is ugly. There's no room... 632 00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:30,661 to go hunting. 633 00:42:30,870 --> 00:42:33,240 The air is heavy. It stinketh! 634 00:42:33,453 --> 00:42:34,401 I'll say! 635 00:42:34,620 --> 00:42:36,990 And it'll be worse With the new highway. 636 00:42:38,620 --> 00:42:39,900 Good-bye, Dr. Goulard. 637 00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:41,364 Here you go. 638 00:42:41,704 --> 00:42:43,825 It smells gross. Yeeuck! 639 00:42:44,954 --> 00:42:46,233 Like old socks. 640 00:42:46,454 --> 00:42:47,318 Could be. 641 00:42:47,537 --> 00:42:48,864 see you tomorrow, Hilda. 642 00:42:51,912 --> 00:42:53,026 Where is my castle? 643 00:42:53,246 --> 00:42:54,786 We left the castle ages ago. 644 00:42:54,996 --> 00:42:55,860 Unfortunately. 645 00:42:56,079 --> 00:42:58,319 Can you imagine the heating bills? 646 00:42:58,538 --> 00:43:00,777 Anyway, Hubert, make yourself at home here. 647 00:43:00,996 --> 00:43:02,323 I must go to the castle. 648 00:43:02,538 --> 00:43:03,568 Yes! Yes! 649 00:43:03,788 --> 00:43:05,862 That'll be tomorrow's outing! 650 00:43:06,079 --> 00:43:08,864 Count me out. I'm over-booked already. 651 00:43:09,205 --> 00:43:09,986 Dinnertime! 652 00:43:10,455 --> 00:43:12,410 Yes! souplette! Good hot souplette! 653 00:43:12,621 --> 00:43:15,821 Yes, Mr... Jacques Kass. I'll make you some. 654 00:43:20,038 --> 00:43:20,986 He loves soup. 655 00:43:25,913 --> 00:43:28,367 You live in a pitiful dwelling. 656 00:43:28,663 --> 00:43:30,037 'Tis for peasants. 657 00:43:30,247 --> 00:43:32,202 True, our home is simple. 658 00:43:32,414 --> 00:43:35,744 But it's cozy and has lent itself to some marvelous evenings. 659 00:43:35,955 --> 00:43:36,737 Don't push it. 660 00:43:37,205 --> 00:43:39,445 We weren't counting on having houseguests. 661 00:43:39,664 --> 00:43:41,073 so go easy on us, Hubert. 662 00:43:41,289 --> 00:43:42,533 You're Cousin Hubert? 663 00:43:42,747 --> 00:43:44,702 O! noble Cousin Hubert! 664 00:43:45,247 --> 00:43:47,203 Now he's calling me Hubert! 665 00:43:47,789 --> 00:43:49,033 They're both crazy! 666 00:43:51,372 --> 00:43:52,071 Listen, peon. 667 00:43:52,289 --> 00:43:53,616 I'm Cousin Hubert. 668 00:43:53,831 --> 00:43:55,075 You, sire? 669 00:43:55,289 --> 00:43:58,204 I don't want to go back to the loonies. 670 00:43:58,414 --> 00:44:00,322 Call me "Cousin Hubert"... 671 00:44:00,539 --> 00:44:02,660 and never "sire". Understand? 672 00:44:03,164 --> 00:44:03,946 Yes, sire. 673 00:44:05,998 --> 00:44:08,830 stop that, or I'll give you the little red balls. 674 00:44:11,956 --> 00:44:13,532 Leg of lamb, my sire! 675 00:44:13,748 --> 00:44:14,862 Why "my sire" now? 676 00:44:15,081 --> 00:44:17,652 I don't know, Jean-Pierre. I just don't know. 677 00:44:19,665 --> 00:44:20,992 Mr... Kass, that's for tomorrow. 678 00:44:21,207 --> 00:44:23,742 Tonight is cold roast beef and a salad... 679 00:44:23,957 --> 00:44:25,284 and a Cup-a-soup for you. 680 00:44:25,498 --> 00:44:28,117 If you're still hungry, you can have some left-overs. 681 00:44:28,332 --> 00:44:29,990 Then a shower and off to bed. 682 00:44:30,207 --> 00:44:33,371 Maybe they can start with the shower. After such a trying day... 683 00:44:33,582 --> 00:44:35,039 they'll want to wash up. 684 00:44:35,249 --> 00:44:36,113 No servants? 685 00:44:37,790 --> 00:44:40,113 Come wash your hands. 686 00:45:25,334 --> 00:45:26,281 Bea, come look. 687 00:45:26,500 --> 00:45:27,199 What is it? 688 00:45:27,417 --> 00:45:28,329 Come look! 689 00:45:28,542 --> 00:45:29,786 What? 690 00:45:32,042 --> 00:45:34,163 Cousin Hubert, What are you doing? 691 00:45:34,375 --> 00:45:36,247 Can amnesia be this serious? 692 00:45:36,459 --> 00:45:37,916 They're boors! 693 00:45:38,126 --> 00:45:39,583 swimming in the toilet! 694 00:45:41,209 --> 00:45:41,990 Water. 695 00:45:43,167 --> 00:45:43,866 soap. 696 00:45:44,209 --> 00:45:45,583 Hot. 697 00:45:45,792 --> 00:45:47,582 Cold. Okay? 698 00:45:47,918 --> 00:45:49,576 Thank you, gentle Lady. 699 00:45:50,876 --> 00:45:52,417 Gentle lady... 700 00:45:55,334 --> 00:45:56,329 sire Godefroy. 701 00:45:57,876 --> 00:45:59,535 Cousin Hubert! 702 00:45:59,751 --> 00:46:01,742 Lady Frenegonde is 1 000 years old too? 703 00:46:02,376 --> 00:46:04,414 she's not Lady Frenegonde. 704 00:46:04,626 --> 00:46:06,000 she's Lady Beatrice. 705 00:46:06,210 --> 00:46:08,449 How often must I tell you? 706 00:46:09,418 --> 00:46:10,911 Lady Beatrice. 707 00:46:12,543 --> 00:46:14,119 The descendant. 708 00:46:18,210 --> 00:46:20,117 Jean-Pierre, set the table. 709 00:46:20,335 --> 00:46:21,116 The nice plates 710 00:46:21,335 --> 00:46:22,200 or the normal ones? 711 00:46:22,419 --> 00:46:24,244 Jean-Pierre, use mother's service. 712 00:46:24,460 --> 00:46:25,124 Ridiculous. 713 00:46:27,794 --> 00:46:29,749 Here. Help me, you two. 714 00:46:36,502 --> 00:46:38,623 You stupid idiots! 715 00:46:38,836 --> 00:46:41,952 Bea, they're retarded! They can't even set a table! 716 00:46:45,461 --> 00:46:46,124 Hello! 717 00:46:46,711 --> 00:46:49,282 Don't scream. It's Jacquart. I'm not deaf. 718 00:46:49,669 --> 00:46:52,703 I'm sorry, Jacques-Henri. Bea has some family over. 719 00:46:53,294 --> 00:46:54,408 It's not easy. 720 00:46:54,628 --> 00:46:57,330 sorry to bother you. I'm here with President Bernay 721 00:46:57,628 --> 00:46:59,619 the younger of the two banking brothers. 722 00:46:59,836 --> 00:47:00,535 A charming man. 723 00:47:01,253 --> 00:47:04,334 Unfortunately, he has a festering abscess. 724 00:47:04,545 --> 00:47:06,535 Due to the humidity in your hotel, 725 00:47:06,753 --> 00:47:08,910 or your "Royal Raspberry" sherbet. 726 00:47:09,337 --> 00:47:10,995 His face is all bloated. 727 00:47:20,462 --> 00:47:22,915 I'll see your friend Bernie tomorrow at 8:00. 728 00:47:23,170 --> 00:47:25,244 It's Bernay, not Bernie. 729 00:47:27,879 --> 00:47:28,909 Lady-love... 730 00:47:29,129 --> 00:47:31,415 your skin is as soft as a rose petal. 731 00:47:33,962 --> 00:47:34,661 Hubert! 732 00:47:39,879 --> 00:47:41,420 How exciting to touch you... 733 00:47:41,629 --> 00:47:42,707 to lay beside you. 734 00:47:42,921 --> 00:47:44,912 Who does he want to lay? 735 00:47:49,754 --> 00:47:52,788 Jean-Pierre, you're totally on time. Let's clean up. 736 00:47:54,046 --> 00:47:55,373 what were you up to? 737 00:47:55,588 --> 00:47:56,915 You're kissing cousins! 738 00:47:57,130 --> 00:47:58,373 - Not at all! - sorry! 739 00:48:21,464 --> 00:48:22,542 He'll take him. 740 00:48:22,797 --> 00:48:23,792 He's too bad off. 741 00:48:24,297 --> 00:48:25,078 Hello? 742 00:48:25,297 --> 00:48:26,494 What the shit? 743 00:48:27,339 --> 00:48:28,038 shit. 744 00:48:28,381 --> 00:48:30,704 Hello, Jean-Pierre? ls that Jean-Pierre? 745 00:48:34,881 --> 00:48:35,793 What the hell? 746 00:48:37,839 --> 00:48:39,083 You were sweethearts. 747 00:48:39,298 --> 00:48:41,751 Not at all. He was much older! 748 00:48:41,964 --> 00:48:44,085 You won't admit you were flirting. 749 00:48:44,298 --> 00:48:48,292 Jean-Pierre, control yourself! What you're saying is totally offensive. 750 00:48:48,715 --> 00:48:50,207 Is this my castle? 751 00:48:50,423 --> 00:48:51,169 Yes it is. 752 00:48:51,381 --> 00:48:53,502 Where's my watch-tower? My moat? 753 00:48:53,715 --> 00:48:55,089 My draw-bridge? 754 00:48:55,465 --> 00:48:57,669 Is my dungeon intact? 755 00:48:57,923 --> 00:49:00,210 He doesn't even recognize your castle. 756 00:49:00,423 --> 00:49:02,994 Hub, it was rebuilt after the Revolution. 757 00:49:03,215 --> 00:49:03,996 The what? 758 00:49:04,423 --> 00:49:05,537 Christ Almighty. 759 00:49:05,965 --> 00:49:08,370 I must go in my dungeon. 760 00:49:09,132 --> 00:49:11,418 Relax. You're hysterical, Hub. 761 00:49:11,632 --> 00:49:14,299 We'll go tomorrow. But the dungeon is a legend. 762 00:49:14,507 --> 00:49:16,830 Father aIways thought one existed... 763 00:49:17,049 --> 00:49:19,170 but we never found it. 764 00:49:25,841 --> 00:49:27,748 It's like someone imitating a dog. 765 00:49:28,632 --> 00:49:30,374 Listen. It's strange. 766 00:49:36,091 --> 00:49:37,465 I don't hear a thing. 767 00:49:37,674 --> 00:49:38,373 President Bernay. 768 00:49:46,550 --> 00:49:48,208 Now he's gone too far! 769 00:49:48,425 --> 00:49:50,960 He better not have woken Florian and Ondine. 770 00:49:53,341 --> 00:49:56,789 No! Bea! He burnt your umbrell-Ahhhhh! 771 00:49:57,717 --> 00:49:58,629 Umbrella. 772 00:49:58,925 --> 00:50:00,204 In the hole. 773 00:50:00,592 --> 00:50:01,705 These eardrops sting. 774 00:50:01,925 --> 00:50:03,832 The dog never complained. 775 00:50:04,550 --> 00:50:07,086 If President Bernay has lost... 776 00:50:07,300 --> 00:50:09,919 just one percent of his hearing, 777 00:50:10,342 --> 00:50:12,712 We'll sue the pants off you. 778 00:50:13,300 --> 00:50:14,627 I've gone deaf. 779 00:50:15,217 --> 00:50:18,713 I'm a little confused... You're a race car driver? 780 00:50:19,634 --> 00:50:22,122 A boxer? A stuntman? 781 00:50:22,467 --> 00:50:23,664 A movie actor? 782 00:50:25,967 --> 00:50:28,005 Who's the star of the movie? 783 00:50:28,217 --> 00:50:30,173 Do I know him? And the director? 784 00:50:31,843 --> 00:50:34,710 stop the interrogation. You're exhausting them. 785 00:50:34,926 --> 00:50:36,584 Can't we talk? 786 00:50:36,926 --> 00:50:37,839 Am I boring you? 787 00:50:38,509 --> 00:50:39,374 Ay, indeed. 788 00:50:39,634 --> 00:50:40,416 Charming. 789 00:50:40,634 --> 00:50:41,416 You see. 790 00:50:42,260 --> 00:50:43,503 Will this last long? 791 00:50:43,718 --> 00:50:44,666 Day... 792 00:50:44,885 --> 00:50:45,797 Night... 793 00:50:51,801 --> 00:50:54,753 Please, Mr. Kass, that's becoming rather grating. 794 00:50:55,135 --> 00:50:57,588 Can't he join us? It's embarrassing. 795 00:50:57,802 --> 00:50:59,674 He ne'er eats amid nobility. 796 00:50:59,885 --> 00:51:02,172 He is happy to munch our left-o'ers. 797 00:51:02,385 --> 00:51:03,380 Here, boy. 798 00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:05,259 Thank you, sire Hubert! 799 00:51:05,469 --> 00:51:07,922 He's mashing potatoes into the rug! 800 00:51:08,135 --> 00:51:09,925 Enough! Come sit here. 801 00:51:10,135 --> 00:51:12,422 That would upset him, right Jacquasse? 802 00:51:12,635 --> 00:51:13,963 You want to sit here? 803 00:51:14,177 --> 00:51:16,002 No, sire Hubert. 804 00:51:16,219 --> 00:51:18,672 In my house, we all eat together. 805 00:51:18,886 --> 00:51:20,426 Nay! Nay! 806 00:51:20,636 --> 00:51:21,666 Obey, peasant. 807 00:51:21,886 --> 00:51:23,047 Your host insists. 808 00:51:23,344 --> 00:51:24,506 It'll be cozier. 809 00:51:27,011 --> 00:51:27,840 There. 810 00:51:30,219 --> 00:51:32,091 My sweet and pretty youngling... 811 00:51:32,553 --> 00:51:33,796 Yes, dear cousin? 812 00:51:34,011 --> 00:51:35,801 If you live in this poor abode, 813 00:51:36,011 --> 00:51:37,468 Who owns our castle? 814 00:51:38,511 --> 00:51:40,383 Jacques-Henri Jacquart. He's... 815 00:51:41,136 --> 00:51:43,293 rather nouveau riche and a bit affected. 816 00:51:43,511 --> 00:51:47,920 - His family farmed our land. - A peasant owns our castle? 817 00:51:49,053 --> 00:51:50,961 - A peasant! - What peasant? 818 00:51:51,345 --> 00:51:52,802 Please! Jean-Pierre is a peasant too. 819 00:51:53,012 --> 00:51:54,753 And he's a good husband. 820 00:51:54,970 --> 00:51:56,084 He's a peasant? Pugh! 821 00:52:00,387 --> 00:52:01,335 I lost my appetite. 822 00:52:02,179 --> 00:52:03,506 This is too much! 823 00:52:03,720 --> 00:52:05,343 I feel like throwing up. 824 00:52:05,554 --> 00:52:06,548 Did you hear that? 825 00:52:07,762 --> 00:52:08,627 Hear what? 826 00:52:09,970 --> 00:52:13,466 Now he's spitting on me. Or didn't you notice? 827 00:52:13,721 --> 00:52:14,799 Excuse the oaf. 828 00:52:15,012 --> 00:52:18,295 He is saddened to hear that a peasant owns my castle. 829 00:52:18,512 --> 00:52:19,176 But why? 830 00:52:19,387 --> 00:52:21,129 My sweet, radiant youngling... 831 00:52:21,346 --> 00:52:23,550 I shall right this horrible wrong. 832 00:52:24,013 --> 00:52:27,343 Jacquart shall render the castle in exchange for crowns. 833 00:52:27,596 --> 00:52:29,468 If he refuses, I'll disembowel him. 834 00:52:29,679 --> 00:52:34,052 We'll rip off his stalk Like we did the Duke of York 835 00:52:34,805 --> 00:52:38,170 We hacked him up Amid his shrieks and howIs. 836 00:52:38,388 --> 00:52:40,295 We hung him up... 837 00:52:40,596 --> 00:52:43,299 alongside his bloody boweIs. 838 00:52:47,013 --> 00:52:48,589 Bring in the hens. I'm starved. 839 00:52:48,805 --> 00:52:49,634 Hang who? 840 00:52:49,847 --> 00:52:50,592 Jacquart the Peasant. 841 00:52:50,805 --> 00:52:52,179 Bring the roasted lamb... 842 00:52:52,388 --> 00:52:54,130 the sausage and the beans... 843 00:52:54,347 --> 00:52:55,342 the venison... 844 00:52:56,180 --> 00:52:58,799 Let us feast to forget this injustice! 845 00:52:59,055 --> 00:53:01,129 Bring in kidney beans and kidneys. 846 00:53:01,347 --> 00:53:03,302 A piglet and a roasted goat. 847 00:53:03,514 --> 00:53:05,753 Well-peppered white swans. 848 00:53:05,972 --> 00:53:07,844 Your whets have given me appetite. 849 00:53:08,056 --> 00:53:09,714 You just stuffed your faces! 850 00:53:10,639 --> 00:53:11,836 What's this puddle? 851 00:53:13,264 --> 00:53:15,171 The room is totally flooded! 852 00:53:16,722 --> 00:53:18,927 What happened? 853 00:53:22,014 --> 00:53:24,847 They didn't turn off the Water! They're deranged! 854 00:53:25,056 --> 00:53:26,928 They can't shut off the tap! 855 00:53:27,139 --> 00:53:28,881 send them to the nut house! 856 00:53:29,098 --> 00:53:30,259 Jacquasse, spongeth! 857 00:53:30,473 --> 00:53:31,172 Yes, sire! 858 00:53:35,348 --> 00:53:36,047 Who is that? 859 00:53:39,056 --> 00:53:42,671 Mr. Kass! Not with your poncho! I'll get some rags. 860 00:53:42,973 --> 00:53:43,921 What is it now? 861 00:53:44,140 --> 00:53:46,972 sorry to pop in, but President Bernay can't cope. 862 00:53:47,182 --> 00:53:48,094 God knows how, 863 00:53:48,307 --> 00:53:52,217 When Edgar took the phone, a foghorn sounded in his ear. 864 00:53:52,432 --> 00:53:53,427 I'm not an ENT. 865 00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:55,963 But it aggravated his toothache. 866 00:53:56,182 --> 00:53:57,130 Irts trrowwwing. 867 00:53:57,349 --> 00:53:58,379 It's throbbing. 868 00:53:58,599 --> 00:53:59,712 Open your mouth. 869 00:54:00,349 --> 00:54:02,256 How repulsive! Wait here. 870 00:54:02,765 --> 00:54:04,637 I'm going to fix Bernaise's tooth. 871 00:54:04,849 --> 00:54:06,638 It's Bernay. Edgar Bernay. 872 00:54:06,849 --> 00:54:09,135 His abscess is incredibly ugly. 873 00:54:09,432 --> 00:54:11,222 We'll be in my office. 874 00:54:11,682 --> 00:54:14,680 Come on, come on! Everyone join in. 875 00:54:17,016 --> 00:54:20,547 Can raspberry sherbet cause this type of infection? 876 00:54:20,849 --> 00:54:21,963 No idea. 877 00:54:22,599 --> 00:54:25,633 Bad timing, Jacquart. We're in the middle of a flood. 878 00:54:25,849 --> 00:54:28,801 Did the sewer back up? It smells god-awful. 879 00:54:29,016 --> 00:54:31,718 Be totally careful not to knock the bucket over. 880 00:54:31,975 --> 00:54:33,965 Empty the bucket and sponge hardily. 881 00:54:34,183 --> 00:54:36,138 Ay! Take this rag. 882 00:54:36,350 --> 00:54:39,513 He threw a filthy mop on my linen jacket! 883 00:54:39,725 --> 00:54:42,509 Mr. Kass, be careful with Mr. Jacquart's linen jacket. 884 00:54:43,975 --> 00:54:47,175 Mr. Jacquart, meet my cousin Hubert, long-considered dead. 885 00:54:47,433 --> 00:54:48,381 My pleasure. 886 00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:50,390 My jacket is stained now. 887 00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:52,093 A Hartwood original. 888 00:54:56,684 --> 00:55:00,429 You're a less-bloated look-alike of your ancestor, 889 00:55:00,642 --> 00:55:03,131 Godefroy the Hardy. I have his portrait in the castle. 890 00:55:03,351 --> 00:55:04,429 Ay, 'tis l. 891 00:55:09,101 --> 00:55:10,558 Do I have a pimple? 892 00:55:11,226 --> 00:55:13,845 That nose... those slimy eyes. 893 00:55:14,351 --> 00:55:16,306 You're The Crass's descendant. 894 00:55:16,518 --> 00:55:17,430 The Crass? Please... 895 00:55:17,768 --> 00:55:19,723 What a disgrace! 896 00:55:19,934 --> 00:55:21,759 Here, boy. start a-mopping. 897 00:55:21,976 --> 00:55:22,924 Mr. Kass... 898 00:55:23,143 --> 00:55:25,548 Ieave Mr. Jacquart be. It's not his flood. 899 00:55:27,643 --> 00:55:29,468 - Mr. Who? - Jacquasse. 900 00:55:29,726 --> 00:55:31,966 What an ugly face! 901 00:55:32,976 --> 00:55:35,761 Your Jacquart is a traitor. His real name is Jacquasse. 902 00:55:35,977 --> 00:55:38,216 I aIways knew Jacquart as Jacquart. 903 00:55:43,810 --> 00:55:46,299 Unless he changed his name to be more chic. 904 00:55:53,977 --> 00:55:57,757 Jacques-Henri, how long have you had the name "Jacquart"? 905 00:55:58,227 --> 00:55:58,891 Why? 906 00:55:59,186 --> 00:56:03,677 Because you're the spitting image of Mr. Kass... 907 00:56:03,894 --> 00:56:05,470 and your names are similar. 908 00:56:05,686 --> 00:56:08,719 I have nothing in common with this gentleman. 909 00:56:08,936 --> 00:56:10,891 Just look at him. 910 00:56:15,394 --> 00:56:17,266 No relationship at all. 911 00:56:18,686 --> 00:56:21,601 I can't find my pouch in this unholy mess. 912 00:56:21,853 --> 00:56:25,017 Dr. Goulard is a genius. The abscess is... Oh my! ... 913 00:56:25,228 --> 00:56:27,895 drained. The President is back in form. 914 00:56:29,061 --> 00:56:30,471 Mr. Jacquart, is this... 915 00:56:30,686 --> 00:56:32,558 - your brother? - He's not my brother! 916 00:56:32,770 --> 00:56:33,718 I'm Jacquasse The Crass. 917 00:56:33,937 --> 00:56:35,678 sorry, but it's getting late. 918 00:56:36,103 --> 00:56:38,177 I understand. Let's go. 919 00:56:38,437 --> 00:56:39,764 Thank you. 920 00:56:40,395 --> 00:56:41,224 One minute, jester. 921 00:56:42,812 --> 00:56:45,300 Let's make a deal. I'll buy back the castle. 922 00:56:49,395 --> 00:56:50,177 Take this, peasant. 923 00:56:50,895 --> 00:56:51,843 A down payment. 924 00:56:52,062 --> 00:56:55,392 Jacquart, take care of this. We'll be in the car. 925 00:56:56,479 --> 00:56:57,391 I'm coming. 926 00:56:57,729 --> 00:56:59,435 My castle is not for sale, 927 00:56:59,646 --> 00:57:00,676 I own it, Count. 928 00:57:00,896 --> 00:57:01,926 Old gold coins? 929 00:57:02,437 --> 00:57:04,594 I have 5 chests full, and 1 0 of jewels. 930 00:57:04,812 --> 00:57:07,348 This upstart peasant can't stop me from buying it. 931 00:57:07,563 --> 00:57:10,229 He's got nerve! This is a fucking democracy. 932 00:57:10,938 --> 00:57:11,719 What's "fucking"? 933 00:57:12,729 --> 00:57:15,976 Jacquart, you've gone overboard. That was vulgar. 934 00:57:16,188 --> 00:57:19,968 What nerve! I take care of your Mr. Barbie for a modest fee, 935 00:57:20,188 --> 00:57:23,719 and you humiliate our houseguest. Apologize! 936 00:57:23,938 --> 00:57:26,427 Who does the hygienist think she is? 937 00:57:28,605 --> 00:57:31,354 shameless liar! lf you're proud of your family, 938 00:57:31,563 --> 00:57:33,186 Why change your name? 939 00:57:33,397 --> 00:57:35,138 What is the heinous secret? 940 00:57:35,355 --> 00:57:39,396 An ogre? A witch? A child-slayer? 941 00:57:39,605 --> 00:57:41,477 Hands off, Nazi! 942 00:57:41,689 --> 00:57:45,019 If he can't understand why Jacquart sounds better than Jacquasse, 943 00:57:45,230 --> 00:57:47,055 he should see a shrink. 944 00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:51,313 I don't get it. You're Jacquart's brother? 945 00:57:52,272 --> 00:57:53,350 His brother? 946 00:57:54,439 --> 00:57:55,387 Were you serious 947 00:57:55,606 --> 00:57:57,098 about buying back the castle? 948 00:57:57,397 --> 00:57:59,056 A gift for you, my youngling. 949 00:57:59,814 --> 00:58:00,762 I'm tired. 950 00:58:00,981 --> 00:58:02,390 That's right. Bedtime! 951 00:58:03,731 --> 00:58:05,935 How about some herbal tea, Hub? 952 00:58:07,481 --> 00:58:08,808 Amnesia... 953 00:58:09,731 --> 00:58:11,105 Cousin Hubert. 954 00:58:11,314 --> 00:58:14,099 The new sire of the castle is a Jacquasse? 955 00:58:14,690 --> 00:58:19,015 My God, how can that be? Peasants have become sires. 956 00:58:19,898 --> 00:58:21,307 Let us pray. 957 00:58:27,607 --> 00:58:28,981 Jacquasse! 958 00:58:45,024 --> 00:58:45,723 Beatrice! 959 00:58:46,315 --> 00:58:48,022 They're praying now! 960 00:58:54,191 --> 00:58:56,016 Don't scream. Let them pray. 961 00:58:56,316 --> 00:58:57,015 Mommy... 962 00:58:57,232 --> 00:58:59,437 There are bums in the living room. 963 00:58:59,649 --> 00:59:01,308 Now they've woken the kids. 964 00:59:03,524 --> 00:59:04,804 The lineage! 965 00:59:14,358 --> 00:59:16,598 Your brother is the Count of Montmirail's valet? 966 00:59:16,816 --> 00:59:17,646 I have no brother! 967 00:59:18,316 --> 00:59:19,098 Older or younger? 968 00:59:19,316 --> 00:59:20,975 We're not brothers! 969 00:59:21,191 --> 00:59:22,021 I'm an only son. 970 00:59:22,233 --> 00:59:24,188 We don't have the same name! 971 00:59:24,692 --> 00:59:26,019 He smells awful. 972 00:59:26,442 --> 00:59:28,847 still, it was smart to change your name. 973 00:59:29,067 --> 00:59:31,472 I once had a friend named Francois Twat. 974 00:59:31,692 --> 00:59:34,145 He changed it to watt. It changed his life. 975 00:59:34,359 --> 00:59:36,598 Jacquasse is just too much! 976 00:59:36,817 --> 00:59:37,765 I'll say. 977 00:59:37,984 --> 00:59:41,396 sorry, my name is not Jacques Asse, but Jacquart. 978 00:59:41,692 --> 00:59:43,564 They're ugly. They stink. Gross! 979 00:59:43,775 --> 00:59:45,517 Cousin Hubert is not a burglar. 980 00:59:45,734 --> 00:59:48,020 His friend is not a smelly witch. 981 00:59:48,484 --> 00:59:51,186 Cousin Hubert and Mr. Kass, let the children see you. 982 00:59:52,401 --> 00:59:54,024 Nighty night, kidlings. 983 00:59:59,359 --> 01:00:02,061 Don't stand there! You'll scare them to death! 984 01:00:05,026 --> 01:00:06,519 You scared them, Jean-Pierre. 985 01:00:06,734 --> 01:00:07,599 Come on. 986 01:00:07,901 --> 01:00:10,306 Lather up well. Especially your feet. 987 01:00:10,985 --> 01:00:14,018 soap and bath salt. Help yourself... please. 988 01:00:14,776 --> 01:00:15,771 I'll leave you. 989 01:00:16,818 --> 01:00:18,690 - What's wrong with our feet? - I don't know. 990 01:00:18,902 --> 01:00:20,976 Another peasant ruse, no doubt. 991 01:00:21,943 --> 01:00:23,187 It boil'st. 992 01:00:25,652 --> 01:00:26,682 The ointments. 993 01:00:56,236 --> 01:00:57,777 Jacquasse, scrub me. 994 01:00:58,403 --> 01:00:59,232 strange brush. 995 01:01:00,111 --> 01:01:01,059 It'll do fine. 996 01:01:04,986 --> 01:01:06,016 How is it going? 997 01:01:06,820 --> 01:01:08,645 I have finished my ablutions. 998 01:01:10,111 --> 01:01:11,225 Your turn. 999 01:01:11,445 --> 01:01:13,317 Nay, sire. I bathed last month 1000 01:01:13,528 --> 01:01:14,725 in the river. 1001 01:01:15,403 --> 01:01:17,275 I said it's your turn. 1002 01:01:17,487 --> 01:01:18,351 It boil'st! 1003 01:01:18,570 --> 01:01:20,027 What are they up to? 1004 01:01:20,237 --> 01:01:21,729 Why the uproar? 1005 01:01:22,612 --> 01:01:24,733 My Jacquasse is a-scrubbing. 1006 01:01:24,945 --> 01:01:27,268 I'll dry off in the chimney corner. 1007 01:01:32,820 --> 01:01:35,523 The entire bottle! 6000 francs down the drain! 1008 01:01:36,362 --> 01:01:38,021 Don't pull the plug! 1009 01:01:38,404 --> 01:01:41,272 I shall miss thee, lady-love 1010 01:01:42,362 --> 01:01:47,648 WhiIst I fight in the Crusades 1011 01:01:48,571 --> 01:01:53,193 Leaving you behind, turtle-dove 1012 01:01:54,654 --> 01:02:00,402 Darkens my heart, 'fore I fight 1013 01:02:03,071 --> 01:02:06,022 I can't stand it any more. 1014 01:02:06,363 --> 01:02:07,393 Take a valium. 1015 01:02:09,530 --> 01:02:10,394 sire, 1016 01:02:11,405 --> 01:02:13,858 Jacquart... Is he my great great grandson? 1017 01:02:14,613 --> 01:02:15,561 Yes, my Jacquasse. 1018 01:02:16,072 --> 01:02:18,228 Poor you. Let's sleep. 1019 01:02:21,488 --> 01:02:23,278 It's mushy like porridge. 1020 01:02:32,114 --> 01:02:33,144 What now? 1021 01:02:33,364 --> 01:02:37,227 Beatrice, tell me about the kingdom since Louis the Fat. 1022 01:02:37,906 --> 01:02:39,778 Now? Are you kidding? 1023 01:02:39,989 --> 01:02:40,902 Jean-Pierre! 1024 01:02:44,364 --> 01:02:46,853 This is an evil book. I like it not. 1025 01:02:47,073 --> 01:02:49,063 It's the encyclopedia. It has everything. 1026 01:02:49,364 --> 01:02:52,695 Nothing on Godefroy de Montmirail, When he saved our King, 1027 01:02:52,906 --> 01:02:54,447 during the Battle of Monthlery? 1028 01:02:54,656 --> 01:02:56,232 Not a word. 1029 01:02:56,448 --> 01:02:57,111 Really? 1030 01:02:57,323 --> 01:03:00,274 But his courage is renown from Poitou to savoie. 1031 01:03:00,490 --> 01:03:03,239 Godefroy the Hardy, Louis the Fat... no one cares. 1032 01:03:04,073 --> 01:03:06,822 Our most famous family member is Gonzague de Montmirail. 1033 01:03:07,031 --> 01:03:09,105 Born in 1 754. Remember? 1034 01:03:09,323 --> 01:03:10,069 No. 1035 01:03:10,282 --> 01:03:12,521 He fought the Revolution against the rich, 1036 01:03:13,282 --> 01:03:15,605 so they'd share their land With the peasants. 1037 01:03:15,823 --> 01:03:16,522 What? 1038 01:03:16,740 --> 01:03:19,572 He helped create the Republic with La Fayette. 1039 01:03:19,782 --> 01:03:22,187 But he wasn't rewarded for his courage. 1040 01:03:22,407 --> 01:03:24,197 Robespierre had him decapitated. 1041 01:03:24,907 --> 01:03:27,360 A fine man, this Robespierre. 1042 01:03:28,282 --> 01:03:29,775 Why do you say that? 1043 01:03:31,907 --> 01:03:34,194 Why is Mr. Kass spying on us? 1044 01:03:34,407 --> 01:03:35,604 What infamy, my Jacquasse. 1045 01:03:35,824 --> 01:03:40,114 Peasants no longer pay taxes. No more tallage, nor tithers. 1046 01:03:41,074 --> 01:03:43,479 How unfair. We must return home. 1047 01:03:45,283 --> 01:03:47,024 What's that on your finger? 1048 01:03:48,366 --> 01:03:49,563 It's my seal. 1049 01:03:49,783 --> 01:03:51,240 Your seal? 1050 01:03:51,783 --> 01:03:54,567 It's The Hardy Ring! You stole it from the castle? 1051 01:03:55,075 --> 01:03:58,689 Call the police. Or Jacquart may think we're accomplices. 1052 01:03:58,908 --> 01:04:01,313 spare me. I'll return the ring. 1053 01:04:01,533 --> 01:04:04,780 Jacquart will understand that Hubert is mentally ill. 1054 01:04:05,575 --> 01:04:08,443 Mentally ill. Lock him up, 1055 01:04:08,658 --> 01:04:10,199 if he's mentally ill! 1056 01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:11,981 Where is Mr. Kass? 1057 01:04:12,408 --> 01:04:13,072 Out there. 1058 01:04:14,075 --> 01:04:16,362 What ripe apples, fair Ginette! 1059 01:04:16,575 --> 01:04:19,858 Come on, no feelies, stud. 1060 01:04:20,075 --> 01:04:23,571 see 'ya. My groupies are getting impatient. 1061 01:04:24,492 --> 01:04:26,447 Here I come, fans. 1062 01:04:29,367 --> 01:04:30,481 Come on, Mr. Kass. 1063 01:04:47,243 --> 01:04:50,157 Ladies and Gents... for the artiste. 1064 01:04:50,368 --> 01:04:52,240 Ladies and Gents... 1065 01:04:57,326 --> 01:04:58,985 This is incredible! 1066 01:04:59,201 --> 01:05:02,532 A minute ago it was gorgeous. Now it's raining cats and dogs. 1067 01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:05,731 I am angered that you think me a bandit. 1068 01:05:05,952 --> 01:05:08,238 I never said "bandit". Don't exaggerate. 1069 01:05:08,452 --> 01:05:11,533 This ring is mine. A siIversmith made it for me in Flanders. 1070 01:05:11,743 --> 01:05:12,822 It cost me 1 00 ducats. 1071 01:05:13,035 --> 01:05:17,444 That's impossible, Hub. Father sold that ring with the castle. 1072 01:05:17,660 --> 01:05:19,319 It can't be here and there! 1073 01:05:26,036 --> 01:05:29,532 President Bernay cannot give his speech in that ruckus. 1074 01:05:29,744 --> 01:05:32,861 There's an old ring sizzling in a glass case. 1075 01:05:33,077 --> 01:05:35,696 An old ring sizzling in a case? What next? 1076 01:05:38,619 --> 01:05:42,067 Look! How can we concentrate on the prospecting? 1077 01:05:42,286 --> 01:05:43,695 It's the Hardy Ring! 1078 01:05:46,828 --> 01:05:49,861 Don't just stand there! Get a fire extinguisher! 1079 01:05:59,162 --> 01:06:00,441 Make way! 1080 01:06:02,662 --> 01:06:04,487 Open the case! 1081 01:06:06,453 --> 01:06:08,361 It's burning! 1082 01:06:11,162 --> 01:06:12,359 It's broken. 1083 01:06:12,579 --> 01:06:13,657 What an ass! 1084 01:06:14,662 --> 01:06:16,866 What an ass! I'm blind! 1085 01:06:21,412 --> 01:06:22,325 Hold this. 1086 01:06:24,537 --> 01:06:25,532 This is crazy! 1087 01:06:25,746 --> 01:06:28,697 It's pitch black outside! This is unreal! 1088 01:06:32,079 --> 01:06:34,034 It's hailing now. 1089 01:06:34,246 --> 01:06:36,651 Cheer up, Hub. We'll return the Hardy Ring. 1090 01:06:36,871 --> 01:06:38,245 All will be forgotten. 1091 01:06:38,454 --> 01:06:40,244 He's The Hardy! 1092 01:06:40,871 --> 01:06:44,319 Mr. Kass, sit back. Did you eat old goat cheese for breakfast? 1093 01:06:45,455 --> 01:06:47,943 sorry to be blunt, but I can't open the window. 1094 01:06:48,163 --> 01:06:49,869 stay back there, please. 1095 01:06:50,996 --> 01:06:53,283 The closer we get, the darker it gets. 1096 01:06:55,830 --> 01:06:57,488 It works. Easy as pie. 1097 01:06:57,705 --> 01:07:00,194 He's a stupid ass. 1098 01:07:01,830 --> 01:07:02,860 Go ahead. 1099 01:07:03,413 --> 01:07:05,902 This extinguisher Wouldn't put out a match. 1100 01:07:07,914 --> 01:07:09,739 Get out of here, honey! 1101 01:07:10,789 --> 01:07:11,535 It's going to explode! 1102 01:07:12,872 --> 01:07:14,329 What now? 1103 01:07:14,539 --> 01:07:16,494 You have ants in your pants? 1104 01:07:16,747 --> 01:07:19,366 The ring is a-fire! It's devil work! 1105 01:07:22,997 --> 01:07:25,035 It fell under the seat. 1106 01:07:29,248 --> 01:07:30,788 stop the chariot, girl! 1107 01:07:39,289 --> 01:07:41,245 Help! Call the Fire Department. 1108 01:07:41,456 --> 01:07:45,367 Perfect timing, Jacquart. Hubert has the Hardy ring, God knows how. 1109 01:07:45,581 --> 01:07:46,825 He brought it back. 1110 01:07:47,040 --> 01:07:49,659 The Hardy ring is here! It's on fire! 1111 01:07:50,623 --> 01:07:52,116 My seal's a-fire! 1112 01:07:56,790 --> 01:07:59,539 How can it be up there? It's down here. 1113 01:07:59,748 --> 01:08:01,122 Leave me alone! 1114 01:08:01,332 --> 01:08:03,867 - 'Tis sizzling and boiling. - 'Tis hissing! 1115 01:08:06,957 --> 01:08:07,952 What are you doing? 1116 01:08:12,582 --> 01:08:13,826 Did you see lightning? 1117 01:08:14,041 --> 01:08:16,611 Wait a sec. My roof looks like a cauliflower. 1118 01:08:22,374 --> 01:08:23,701 The lightning! 1119 01:08:26,874 --> 01:08:29,789 My Range! Godammit! 1120 01:08:32,791 --> 01:08:33,869 What happened? 1121 01:08:34,083 --> 01:08:37,164 It's incredible. It's nice out again. Just unbelievable. 1122 01:08:37,375 --> 01:08:41,320 Jacquasse, look how they changed our beautiful castle! 1123 01:08:41,541 --> 01:08:43,698 Windows galore! We're defenseless! 1124 01:08:44,166 --> 01:08:45,624 A godsend for the visigoths. 1125 01:08:45,916 --> 01:08:46,662 And the Huttes. 1126 01:08:46,875 --> 01:08:48,782 Pray the dungeon is intact. 1127 01:08:49,250 --> 01:08:50,624 This weather is amazing. 1128 01:08:50,833 --> 01:08:52,207 I don't give a damn. 1129 01:08:54,833 --> 01:08:58,495 My Range! Dammit! A brand new car with all the extras! 1130 01:08:59,500 --> 01:09:02,747 Look! It's ruined! It's completely ruined! 1131 01:09:08,125 --> 01:09:09,038 Jacquart! 1132 01:09:09,250 --> 01:09:10,624 There's no lightning rod? 1133 01:09:10,834 --> 01:09:12,492 That's unheard of! 1134 01:09:12,709 --> 01:09:15,114 The explosion almost maimed the President. 1135 01:09:15,334 --> 01:09:16,412 No one was hurt? 1136 01:09:16,626 --> 01:09:18,865 No, thank God. Just a car. 1137 01:09:19,084 --> 01:09:20,909 Thank God? Thanks a lot! 1138 01:09:21,793 --> 01:09:22,491 My limo? 1139 01:09:22,709 --> 01:09:25,660 No, not your limo. My new Range. 1140 01:09:25,876 --> 01:09:29,076 Don't lie. I can see from here. The hood is burnt. 1141 01:09:29,293 --> 01:09:32,125 It's not burnt. Not at all! 1142 01:09:32,334 --> 01:09:35,368 Not the roof! The hood, you idiot! 1143 01:09:35,585 --> 01:09:36,284 I'm warning you: 1144 01:09:36,501 --> 01:09:39,203 if it's burnt, We'll see you in court! 1145 01:09:39,418 --> 01:09:41,871 No, it's okay. It's okay! Look! 1146 01:09:42,085 --> 01:09:43,080 Okkk ayyy! 1147 01:09:43,293 --> 01:09:46,291 I'm rubbing it. I'm polishing it! Look! 1148 01:09:46,502 --> 01:09:48,825 It's so clean I can see myself! 1149 01:09:49,710 --> 01:09:50,954 Look! 1150 01:09:52,002 --> 01:09:53,199 It's okkk ayyy. 1151 01:09:54,252 --> 01:09:55,081 What's so funny? 1152 01:09:59,544 --> 01:10:02,032 Come, Jacquasse. Let us go to my chamber. 1153 01:10:02,835 --> 01:10:04,791 ...that hissing ring! 1154 01:10:05,002 --> 01:10:06,744 Give me Claims Division. 1155 01:10:09,461 --> 01:10:11,202 What kind of ring? 1156 01:10:11,419 --> 01:10:12,533 A signet ring. 1157 01:10:12,752 --> 01:10:15,122 You mean the Hardy ring Was in its case? 1158 01:10:15,336 --> 01:10:16,580 I don't know. 1159 01:10:16,794 --> 01:10:18,038 Impossible. 1160 01:10:18,253 --> 01:10:19,200 Where the hell... 1161 01:10:19,836 --> 01:10:22,620 Jacqueline, where are you taking these men? 1162 01:10:22,836 --> 01:10:24,163 To the Hardy suite. 1163 01:10:24,753 --> 01:10:27,206 Innkeeper, We'll be here several nights. 1164 01:10:27,586 --> 01:10:30,039 You and your friend? There's just one bed. 1165 01:10:30,253 --> 01:10:32,290 He'll sleep on a mat in the halIway. 1166 01:10:32,503 --> 01:10:33,664 Not here, he won't. 1167 01:10:33,878 --> 01:10:35,157 In the stable, then. 1168 01:10:35,378 --> 01:10:38,329 Pity, sire! Not the stable. I prefer the forest! 1169 01:10:38,545 --> 01:10:42,124 There is no stable. so pay for the room or go to the forest. 1170 01:10:42,337 --> 01:10:46,117 You understand me, my boy. You're a kind man. 1171 01:10:46,670 --> 01:10:48,412 Don't touch me. 1172 01:10:48,753 --> 01:10:49,950 I'm not a kind man. 1173 01:10:50,170 --> 01:10:51,828 I'm not your friend or your brother. 1174 01:10:52,045 --> 01:10:53,503 so dream on! 1175 01:10:55,379 --> 01:10:57,369 You'd let your brother sleep outside? 1176 01:10:57,587 --> 01:10:59,293 He's not my brother! 1177 01:10:59,545 --> 01:11:00,458 I never saw him! 1178 01:11:00,670 --> 01:11:03,159 so he can sleep Where the hell he wants! 1179 01:11:03,754 --> 01:11:05,081 You're so obscene! 1180 01:11:05,296 --> 01:11:06,326 Excuse me, ma'am. 1181 01:11:06,546 --> 01:11:08,666 I'm taking President Bernay his tea. 1182 01:11:08,879 --> 01:11:10,704 What the hell do I care? 1183 01:11:10,921 --> 01:11:11,999 And their deposit? 1184 01:11:12,296 --> 01:11:13,753 No, l... 1185 01:11:14,379 --> 01:11:16,500 You can't stay. It's very pricey. 1186 01:11:16,796 --> 01:11:20,706 The Count of Montmirail sleep'st at Montmirail. 1187 01:11:23,713 --> 01:11:25,170 Keep your rotten coins. 1188 01:11:26,421 --> 01:11:27,583 Outside, scuzzballs. 1189 01:11:28,796 --> 01:11:30,834 Relax, Jacques. Put it on my visa. 1190 01:11:31,046 --> 01:11:34,246 If Hub feels at home here, it may jog his memory. 1191 01:11:34,463 --> 01:11:35,376 It's worth trying. 1192 01:11:35,588 --> 01:11:39,368 Whatever you say. If you want to pay top price, be my guest. 1193 01:11:39,588 --> 01:11:40,962 You want my picture? 1194 01:11:41,797 --> 01:11:44,415 Don't stand there. show them to their room. 1195 01:11:44,922 --> 01:11:45,621 This way, Beatrice. 1196 01:11:48,297 --> 01:11:52,871 sparks are flying! The boss is angry at his brother. 1197 01:11:53,089 --> 01:11:54,878 This is the Godefroy Hardy suite. 1198 01:11:55,089 --> 01:11:56,830 The 10th century chimney is... 1199 01:11:57,047 --> 01:11:58,705 a vestige of the watch-tower. 1200 01:11:58,922 --> 01:12:01,043 Zounds! It's different! 1201 01:12:01,256 --> 01:12:02,417 Excuse me? 1202 01:12:02,631 --> 01:12:03,625 Leave us, wretch. 1203 01:12:04,756 --> 01:12:05,501 What? 1204 01:12:06,464 --> 01:12:07,838 The Book of spells. 1205 01:12:10,964 --> 01:12:13,879 Holy scrotums! You look drunk as a skunk! 1206 01:12:14,131 --> 01:12:15,707 Is that me? 1207 01:12:15,923 --> 01:12:17,297 That's an old fool! 1208 01:12:22,506 --> 01:12:23,833 Who's this monster? 1209 01:12:28,048 --> 01:12:29,589 Gonzague de Montmirail. 1210 01:12:29,798 --> 01:12:31,623 The Count Who helped the peasants? 1211 01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:33,001 A foul creature. 1212 01:12:33,215 --> 01:12:35,620 Nay, a saintly man. 1213 01:12:36,632 --> 01:12:38,255 Come. 1214 01:12:52,590 --> 01:12:53,870 what are you doing? 1215 01:13:01,882 --> 01:13:03,340 Jean-Pierre, don't scream. 1216 01:13:03,549 --> 01:13:04,248 I'm not screaming. 1217 01:13:04,466 --> 01:13:06,291 It's expensive, but it's for Hub. 1218 01:13:06,507 --> 01:13:10,371 Two rooms at 2600, plus the suite at 3600, comes to 6200 francs a day. 1219 01:13:10,591 --> 01:13:11,539 Breakfast included. 1220 01:13:11,758 --> 01:13:12,670 How much? 1221 01:13:12,883 --> 01:13:14,790 Why three rooms? 1222 01:13:15,008 --> 01:13:16,417 I can't leave him. 1223 01:13:16,633 --> 01:13:17,248 Ridiculous! 1224 01:13:17,466 --> 01:13:18,876 so I took a third room. 1225 01:13:19,091 --> 01:13:19,872 You're staying? 1226 01:13:20,091 --> 01:13:21,881 Hurry. I have other things to do. 1227 01:13:22,091 --> 01:13:25,042 - Bea, you can't do this. - Okay, toodle-oo. 1228 01:13:33,258 --> 01:13:34,668 The torches are rotten. 1229 01:13:34,883 --> 01:13:36,127 sire, I'm scared. 1230 01:13:38,050 --> 01:13:38,998 What are you doing? 1231 01:13:39,217 --> 01:13:43,755 They called me a wretch and threw me out. Then I heard a noise. 1232 01:13:44,009 --> 01:13:46,462 Open this door immediately! 1233 01:13:46,675 --> 01:13:48,085 Hub! 1234 01:13:53,676 --> 01:13:55,417 Cousin Hubert! 1235 01:13:56,009 --> 01:13:57,751 Mr. Kass! 1236 01:13:57,967 --> 01:14:00,172 They lit a fire! There's soot everywhere. 1237 01:14:00,551 --> 01:14:02,506 You'll pay the dry cleaner! 1238 01:14:05,509 --> 01:14:06,504 They're not here. 1239 01:14:06,718 --> 01:14:07,997 Jacqueline, did they leave? 1240 01:14:08,218 --> 01:14:10,836 No, sir. I swear. 1241 01:14:11,051 --> 01:14:12,592 Don't start blubbering. 1242 01:14:12,801 --> 01:14:13,714 That won't help. 1243 01:14:14,301 --> 01:14:16,007 His friend's room. 1244 01:14:25,260 --> 01:14:26,717 Where did you come from? 1245 01:14:26,926 --> 01:14:28,549 Hub, what happened to you? 1246 01:14:28,760 --> 01:14:29,589 I need a torch. 1247 01:14:29,802 --> 01:14:31,839 Why were you hiding in the chimney? 1248 01:14:32,052 --> 01:14:33,082 The Book of... 1249 01:14:33,302 --> 01:14:35,672 We were here. Just visiting. 1250 01:14:36,010 --> 01:14:38,629 visiting.... You were visiting the chimney? 1251 01:14:38,844 --> 01:14:43,335 We wanted a fire. A soot ball was blocking the flue. so Jacquasse, 1252 01:14:43,552 --> 01:14:45,507 climbed on my shoulder. 1253 01:14:45,719 --> 01:14:47,460 I started climbing up... 1254 01:14:47,677 --> 01:14:49,419 And we slipped. 1255 01:14:49,635 --> 01:14:50,251 Everything fell. 1256 01:14:50,469 --> 01:14:54,130 No need to explain, Hub. At 6200 francs a night, 1257 01:14:54,344 --> 01:14:56,584 We can expect the chimney to be swept. 1258 01:14:56,802 --> 01:14:59,717 There was no soot ball! 1259 01:15:00,344 --> 01:15:01,885 There's nothing! 1260 01:15:05,219 --> 01:15:07,044 Come on. 1261 01:15:09,261 --> 01:15:12,543 Jacqueline, call the roofer. Tell him I refuse to pay the bill. 1262 01:15:12,761 --> 01:15:14,669 Not if he leaves soot balls! 1263 01:15:14,886 --> 01:15:17,173 Hub, you've got some explaining to do. 1264 01:15:17,595 --> 01:15:21,340 I am not Cousin Hubert. I am Godefroy The Hardy. 1265 01:15:21,553 --> 01:15:24,302 I was born in the year of our Lord 1 079. 1266 01:15:24,512 --> 01:15:28,256 I'm Jacquasse The Crass, his vassal. I know not my date of birth. 1267 01:15:28,470 --> 01:15:33,625 You're Godefroy, he's Joan of Arc, and I'm the Queen of England. Okay? 1268 01:15:34,012 --> 01:15:34,675 Okkk ayyy! 1269 01:15:34,887 --> 01:15:35,835 This is the Hardy. 1270 01:15:36,054 --> 01:15:39,052 Despite a vague resemblance, he was a fat, hairy macho 1271 01:15:39,262 --> 01:15:42,758 Who must have had chronic halitosis... You know... 1272 01:15:43,387 --> 01:15:45,093 Okkk ayyy! 1273 01:15:45,304 --> 01:15:47,425 what are you doing here? 1274 01:15:47,637 --> 01:15:51,085 I asked for a torch. Make haste! 1275 01:15:52,804 --> 01:15:54,925 Hubert, stop telling tall tales. 1276 01:15:55,554 --> 01:15:58,303 And what, pray tell, is this? 1277 01:15:58,929 --> 01:16:00,505 Mere trickery? 1278 01:16:00,929 --> 01:16:01,842 Hub! 1279 01:16:02,888 --> 01:16:04,713 You knew where the dungeon was? 1280 01:16:04,929 --> 01:16:07,134 Maybe we'll find the Montmirail treasure. 1281 01:16:09,430 --> 01:16:10,887 It's pitch black. 1282 01:16:11,096 --> 01:16:13,964 I'll get my flashlight. stay put. 1283 01:16:32,889 --> 01:16:33,670 Yes? 1284 01:16:33,889 --> 01:16:35,002 The torches died. 1285 01:16:36,264 --> 01:16:37,176 Can I help you? 1286 01:16:41,347 --> 01:16:43,302 what on earth happened here? 1287 01:16:44,847 --> 01:16:46,755 who is responsible for this? 1288 01:16:46,972 --> 01:16:48,548 'Tis a piece o' rubbish! 1289 01:16:48,764 --> 01:16:50,138 You can say that again. 1290 01:16:50,431 --> 01:16:54,259 If your brother sees this, it won't be a picnic. 1291 01:16:54,473 --> 01:16:56,095 Cousin Hubert needs a torch. 1292 01:16:56,306 --> 01:16:57,633 A flashlight. I'll get you one. 1293 01:16:58,514 --> 01:16:59,427 Okkk ayyy! 1294 01:17:02,431 --> 01:17:04,920 Halogen flashlights. A total must. 1295 01:17:07,348 --> 01:17:08,592 Could someone 1296 01:17:08,806 --> 01:17:11,093 serve me a scotch? 1297 01:17:11,306 --> 01:17:13,593 I need a drink before the other brother 1298 01:17:13,806 --> 01:17:15,513 arrives to finish the seminar. 1299 01:17:15,723 --> 01:17:16,552 Edgar and Edouard together... 1300 01:17:16,765 --> 01:17:17,843 aren't easy. 1301 01:17:18,057 --> 01:17:19,336 I'm waiting for sire's torch. 1302 01:17:19,557 --> 01:17:20,469 sire? 1303 01:17:21,973 --> 01:17:22,803 Cousin Hubert. 1304 01:17:23,015 --> 01:17:25,136 Hubert de Montmirail is your cousin? 1305 01:17:26,223 --> 01:17:27,088 How amazing. 1306 01:17:27,307 --> 01:17:29,049 so Jacquart is their cousin too? 1307 01:17:29,682 --> 01:17:31,139 Nay nay nay! 1308 01:17:31,349 --> 01:17:33,256 Aren't you Jacquart's brother? 1309 01:17:33,474 --> 01:17:34,137 No. 1310 01:17:35,015 --> 01:17:36,591 Your mother isn't his mother? 1311 01:17:37,682 --> 01:17:38,961 My mother was Gwendolyne. 1312 01:17:39,182 --> 01:17:40,758 she was devoured by woIves, 1313 01:17:41,182 --> 01:17:43,849 because my father, on his way to the tavern, 1314 01:17:44,224 --> 01:17:47,257 fell in the icy lake due to his club foot. 1315 01:17:49,016 --> 01:17:49,797 How awful! 1316 01:17:51,474 --> 01:17:52,339 How freaky! 1317 01:17:52,933 --> 01:17:53,714 Freakkky! 1318 01:17:53,933 --> 01:17:55,758 If I understand correctly, 1319 01:17:55,974 --> 01:17:57,384 you're Jacquart's half-brother. 1320 01:17:59,141 --> 01:18:01,179 Freakkky! Okkk ayyy! 1321 01:18:01,391 --> 01:18:02,339 Freakkky! 1322 01:18:02,725 --> 01:18:03,921 Freakkky! 1323 01:18:04,766 --> 01:18:07,136 Yes, it sure is freaky. 1324 01:18:08,225 --> 01:18:09,765 Jacquart is so secretive. 1325 01:18:09,975 --> 01:18:12,428 There's no shame in having a handicapped father. 1326 01:18:13,016 --> 01:18:14,806 Okkk ayyy! 1327 01:18:16,475 --> 01:18:18,051 sorry for your father. 1328 01:18:18,267 --> 01:18:19,641 Thank you. 1329 01:18:20,267 --> 01:18:22,637 why did that idiot mention my father? 1330 01:18:24,100 --> 01:18:27,513 what are you doing in the garbage, you dirty thief? 1331 01:18:28,017 --> 01:18:28,846 Come here. 1332 01:18:29,059 --> 01:18:32,673 Let go of me, sleazeball. I'm a Chernobyl victim. 1333 01:18:32,892 --> 01:18:34,006 save it for the cops. 1334 01:18:34,892 --> 01:18:36,799 Lady Ginette! Release her, peasant. 1335 01:18:37,642 --> 01:18:39,016 Lady Ginette is my friend. 1336 01:18:39,851 --> 01:18:41,888 - she is a friend of yours? - Yes. 1337 01:18:42,101 --> 01:18:44,672 she is good-hearted. she is welcome here. 1338 01:18:44,976 --> 01:18:48,139 As you like, sir. Her head was in the garbage bin. 1339 01:18:48,351 --> 01:18:51,717 If you rummaged in garbage heaps, you'd have a nicer bow-tie. 1340 01:18:53,518 --> 01:18:55,473 People with money to burn 1341 01:18:55,684 --> 01:18:57,225 dump lots of great stuff. 1342 01:18:57,434 --> 01:18:59,555 Like I found these great stockings. 1343 01:19:03,685 --> 01:19:05,675 what a ripe apple! 1344 01:19:08,143 --> 01:19:09,849 You're letting them in? 1345 01:19:10,060 --> 01:19:12,595 stow it. she's the boss's brother's broad. 1346 01:19:12,810 --> 01:19:14,007 They'll kick us out. 1347 01:19:14,227 --> 01:19:17,260 Fear not. The castle belongs to my family. 1348 01:19:17,477 --> 01:19:18,389 No way! 1349 01:19:18,602 --> 01:19:20,142 I'll give you a tour. 1350 01:19:22,394 --> 01:19:23,970 Ladies and Gents. 1351 01:19:26,727 --> 01:19:28,136 That's the office. 1352 01:19:28,352 --> 01:19:30,508 Hold your tongue, wretch. It is my youngling's office. 1353 01:19:30,727 --> 01:19:32,433 He is kindred. 1354 01:19:36,352 --> 01:19:38,142 what the hell is this? 1355 01:19:39,602 --> 01:19:43,015 Jacqueline, what happened in the halIway? 1356 01:19:44,019 --> 01:19:44,884 It's your "youngling", sir. 1357 01:19:45,769 --> 01:19:48,851 Those garbage heaps fall apart if you sneeze. 1358 01:19:49,061 --> 01:19:51,099 worry not. 'Tis my specialty. 1359 01:19:53,394 --> 01:19:54,722 It needs oil. 1360 01:19:54,936 --> 01:19:56,891 who let you in? It's private here. 1361 01:19:57,145 --> 01:20:00,842 I'm showing our castle to Lady Ginette. This is my youngling. 1362 01:20:01,061 --> 01:20:01,677 Hi youngling. 1363 01:20:01,895 --> 01:20:03,601 she scuzzed up the Persian rug. 1364 01:20:03,811 --> 01:20:04,510 The game's over. 1365 01:20:04,728 --> 01:20:06,518 Get out, or I'll call the cops. 1366 01:20:06,770 --> 01:20:08,761 But you're my youngling. 1367 01:20:08,978 --> 01:20:09,760 I love you. 1368 01:20:09,978 --> 01:20:11,768 Thy success makes me proud. 1369 01:20:11,978 --> 01:20:13,175 Let go, scum. 1370 01:20:13,395 --> 01:20:14,390 Freddy, get the dog. 1371 01:20:14,603 --> 01:20:15,302 Brutus? 1372 01:20:15,520 --> 01:20:16,799 There are guests here. 1373 01:20:17,020 --> 01:20:18,134 I don't care! 1374 01:20:18,604 --> 01:20:20,594 Calm thyself, youngling. we're kin. 1375 01:20:20,854 --> 01:20:21,766 Chill out. 1376 01:20:21,979 --> 01:20:23,685 Enough! 1377 01:20:25,062 --> 01:20:26,140 Freddy, let him loose. 1378 01:20:31,354 --> 01:20:33,925 You flubbed. That's not the way out. 1379 01:20:34,146 --> 01:20:36,302 we must find the chapel. My treasure! 1380 01:20:37,354 --> 01:20:38,977 He'll bite off our family jewels! 1381 01:20:39,646 --> 01:20:43,177 The chapel! The chapel! The ruined abbey! 1382 01:21:05,897 --> 01:21:07,271 welcome, Mr. Bernay. 1383 01:21:08,022 --> 01:21:09,265 Long trip. 1384 01:21:12,022 --> 01:21:13,183 Holy smoke! 1385 01:21:18,355 --> 01:21:20,512 Holy Moses! You're loaded. 1386 01:21:24,397 --> 01:21:25,559 what about the pooch? 1387 01:21:25,772 --> 01:21:26,436 Your purse. 1388 01:21:27,731 --> 01:21:29,389 we'll trap him. 1389 01:21:53,731 --> 01:21:54,809 I know him not. 1390 01:21:55,023 --> 01:21:56,480 surely one of our enemies. 1391 01:22:14,690 --> 01:22:16,100 My youngling! 1392 01:22:17,232 --> 01:22:18,938 Help! 1393 01:22:21,024 --> 01:22:22,221 Hold on, youngling. 1394 01:22:32,232 --> 01:22:35,017 - without you, I'd have died. - Indeed. 1395 01:22:40,358 --> 01:22:41,388 Leeches. 1396 01:22:42,608 --> 01:22:44,931 serpent tongues. Rotten fish. 1397 01:22:45,233 --> 01:22:47,768 All the old wizard's potions. 1398 01:22:47,983 --> 01:22:49,559 A book! The treasure is near. 1399 01:22:49,983 --> 01:22:50,978 The Book of spells. 1400 01:22:58,733 --> 01:22:59,479 All is lost. 1401 01:23:07,358 --> 01:23:08,732 That just opened. 1402 01:23:09,109 --> 01:23:11,562 I'm a little scared. 1403 01:23:14,109 --> 01:23:17,521 Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I'll go first. 1404 01:23:21,151 --> 01:23:21,932 My youngling! 1405 01:23:25,442 --> 01:23:27,599 Hub! Give me some slack. 1406 01:23:28,234 --> 01:23:30,983 Hub, help me! 1407 01:23:33,984 --> 01:23:35,015 Is there a Book? 1408 01:23:37,026 --> 01:23:38,270 - My God! - what is it? 1409 01:23:38,484 --> 01:23:39,314 There's a note. 1410 01:23:41,610 --> 01:23:43,232 Godefroy de Montmirail. If you make it here, 1411 01:23:43,443 --> 01:23:46,275 call immediately, during office hours, 68 77 79. 1412 01:23:46,485 --> 01:23:47,942 Ask for Mr. Ferdinand. 1413 01:23:53,610 --> 01:23:55,186 In here. 1414 01:23:55,402 --> 01:23:56,811 Not you. Only the man. 1415 01:23:57,027 --> 01:23:58,401 - wait. - sorry, youngling. 1416 01:23:58,652 --> 01:23:59,398 I wanted... 1417 01:24:00,902 --> 01:24:01,565 Great. 1418 01:24:04,068 --> 01:24:06,474 Come closer. Godefroy de Montmirail? 1419 01:24:06,694 --> 01:24:08,768 The first Count to bear that name? 1420 01:24:08,985 --> 01:24:09,649 Yes, 'tis l. 1421 01:24:09,860 --> 01:24:11,567 I've been waiting 30 years. 1422 01:24:12,194 --> 01:24:12,893 who are you? 1423 01:24:13,235 --> 01:24:16,601 I am the descendant of the wizard Eusaebius. 1424 01:24:16,819 --> 01:24:19,224 I am charged to send you back in time, 1425 01:24:19,486 --> 01:24:22,898 so you can save the life of Eusaebius, who is at this very moment... 1426 01:24:23,111 --> 01:24:24,520 being horribly tortured. 1427 01:24:25,152 --> 01:24:28,234 I prepared the potion, following the recipe 1428 01:24:28,444 --> 01:24:31,063 in my ancestor's Book of spells. 1429 01:24:31,278 --> 01:24:34,359 Leave that. The potion is on the shelf. 1430 01:24:39,903 --> 01:24:41,977 The same ghastly odor. 1431 01:24:42,361 --> 01:24:44,435 My ancestor's diary 1432 01:24:44,653 --> 01:24:46,443 mentions your companion. 1433 01:24:46,653 --> 01:24:48,893 - where is he? - At the castle. 1434 01:24:49,111 --> 01:24:50,439 You must leave with him 1435 01:24:50,653 --> 01:24:54,517 before midnight. Or else, you'll have to wait 33 years. 1436 01:24:54,737 --> 01:24:57,060 If you don't return to your past, 1437 01:24:57,278 --> 01:24:59,186 another future will take form, 1438 01:24:59,403 --> 01:25:01,229 in which you have no descendants, 1439 01:25:01,862 --> 01:25:04,860 because you never married and fathered children. 1440 01:25:08,237 --> 01:25:08,901 so? 1441 01:25:09,195 --> 01:25:10,902 what was the big secret? 1442 01:25:11,112 --> 01:25:12,486 Let's return to the castle. 1443 01:25:24,113 --> 01:25:25,689 The chariot that arrested me. 1444 01:25:26,238 --> 01:25:27,979 why the ambulance? 1445 01:25:28,238 --> 01:25:30,359 Ma'am, hurry. It's your husband. 1446 01:25:30,571 --> 01:25:31,649 Jean-Pierre? 1447 01:25:31,863 --> 01:25:34,777 He was furious that you had hung up on him. 1448 01:25:34,988 --> 01:25:37,856 Then the dog bit him. Come this way. 1449 01:25:41,905 --> 01:25:43,279 Jean-Pierre, what happened? 1450 01:25:43,488 --> 01:25:46,854 Jacquart's dog bit me while I was paying the taxi. 1451 01:25:47,405 --> 01:25:50,154 Your husband is baring his ass to this woman. 1452 01:25:50,488 --> 01:25:52,396 she's caressing his bun'lings. 1453 01:25:52,780 --> 01:25:55,067 she's giving him a shot. OK? 1454 01:25:55,280 --> 01:25:56,394 Get him out. 1455 01:25:56,613 --> 01:25:58,272 I want my shot in peace. 1456 01:26:00,655 --> 01:26:01,437 Excuse me, doctor. 1457 01:26:01,655 --> 01:26:02,982 Excuse us. 1458 01:26:03,197 --> 01:26:04,987 Is this Grand Central station? I should charge admission! 1459 01:26:05,197 --> 01:26:06,110 You're here. 1460 01:26:06,489 --> 01:26:07,152 Yes. 1461 01:26:07,780 --> 01:26:12,319 Did Brutus attack for no reason, or did you excite him first? 1462 01:26:12,947 --> 01:26:13,729 Excite who? 1463 01:26:13,947 --> 01:26:16,317 Excuse me. The dentist hurt himself? 1464 01:26:17,406 --> 01:26:19,480 I'm sick of having my ass stared at. 1465 01:26:20,948 --> 01:26:24,064 Jean-Pierre, you're paranoid. No one is staring. 1466 01:26:25,531 --> 01:26:28,363 I have a phone call for Cousin Hubert. 1467 01:26:28,864 --> 01:26:30,441 Godefroy? 1468 01:26:35,698 --> 01:26:37,107 Monijoie! 1469 01:26:37,698 --> 01:26:41,988 It's Jacquasse, Godefroy. No use shouting at the little box. 1470 01:26:43,532 --> 01:26:45,238 stop screaming! 1471 01:26:47,615 --> 01:26:50,732 speak calmly into the little holes. 1472 01:26:50,948 --> 01:26:51,813 where are you, peasant? 1473 01:26:52,032 --> 01:26:55,895 Bowling Alley. with Lady Ginette. And I'm no longer a peasant. 1474 01:26:56,115 --> 01:26:56,814 Yo, Jacky. 1475 01:26:57,032 --> 01:26:59,864 I roll the ball. I'm having a ball! 1476 01:27:04,074 --> 01:27:05,780 we're having balls. 1477 01:27:06,699 --> 01:27:07,777 You were a good master, Godefroy. 1478 01:27:08,241 --> 01:27:09,568 sire Godefroy! 1479 01:27:09,782 --> 01:27:10,446 Yes, Godefroy. 1480 01:27:11,241 --> 01:27:14,073 The best master. Better than Montfaucon. 1481 01:27:15,241 --> 01:27:16,022 One minute, vassal. 1482 01:27:16,241 --> 01:27:17,864 No vassal. No more vassals. 1483 01:27:18,074 --> 01:27:20,527 Leave your Lord alone, peasants. 1484 01:27:21,866 --> 01:27:23,442 who does he think he is? 1485 01:27:23,658 --> 01:27:25,399 Peasants? what does he mean? 1486 01:27:25,991 --> 01:27:26,607 Problem, chief? 1487 01:27:26,824 --> 01:27:28,104 No. 1488 01:27:28,783 --> 01:27:29,564 Listen up. 1489 01:27:29,908 --> 01:27:31,863 - we can go home. - Home? 1490 01:27:32,075 --> 01:27:33,318 Beer and Pernod? 1491 01:27:33,533 --> 01:27:34,611 Godefroy, I'm staying. 1492 01:27:34,825 --> 01:27:36,899 The beer and the Pernod: are they for you? 1493 01:27:37,116 --> 01:27:38,313 Okkk ayyy. 1494 01:27:39,825 --> 01:27:40,938 Lady Ginette proposed to me. 1495 01:27:41,575 --> 01:27:42,440 who's the bozo? 1496 01:27:42,658 --> 01:27:44,696 A lounge lizard with that floozy. 1497 01:27:45,242 --> 01:27:47,647 she's wearing high heels. 1498 01:27:47,908 --> 01:27:49,022 Come back! 1499 01:27:49,367 --> 01:27:51,156 Best wishes to Lady Frenegonde. 1500 01:27:51,367 --> 01:27:53,523 I'll miss you, but I'm too happy here. 1501 01:27:53,742 --> 01:27:56,574 You lunatic! There's nothing for us here. 1502 01:27:57,575 --> 01:27:58,654 I'll make do. 1503 01:27:58,867 --> 01:28:00,146 You're wearing goddamned boots! 1504 01:28:00,367 --> 01:28:03,152 Let me go! I don't want your scummy shoes! 1505 01:28:03,367 --> 01:28:05,275 Return here hastily. 1506 01:28:05,492 --> 01:28:06,156 I refuse. 1507 01:28:06,701 --> 01:28:09,652 very well. whatever you say. 1508 01:28:09,867 --> 01:28:10,780 You're not angry? 1509 01:28:11,034 --> 01:28:11,815 No. 1510 01:28:12,617 --> 01:28:13,814 we all must die. 1511 01:28:15,243 --> 01:28:18,194 Yes, I must warn you, Crass One. 1512 01:28:18,409 --> 01:28:20,317 I happened upon a wizard today. 1513 01:28:20,534 --> 01:28:24,694 He told me if you didn't return before the full moon, 1514 01:28:24,993 --> 01:28:26,272 your innards would rot. 1515 01:28:26,576 --> 01:28:27,986 You'll die in great pain. 1516 01:28:28,993 --> 01:28:31,316 I don't believe you. You want to scare me. 1517 01:28:32,160 --> 01:28:33,736 You're already rotting. 1518 01:28:34,243 --> 01:28:37,075 Take as proof the fetid odor in your mouth. 1519 01:28:38,618 --> 01:28:40,076 Come back before tweIve, 1520 01:28:40,952 --> 01:28:41,615 or else, 1521 01:28:42,118 --> 01:28:43,149 farewell. 1522 01:28:43,368 --> 01:28:45,822 sire Godefroy. sire Godefroy. 1523 01:28:51,494 --> 01:28:54,657 Excuse my abruptness, but I'm o'erjoyed to return home. 1524 01:28:54,869 --> 01:28:55,532 Leaving already? 1525 01:28:56,410 --> 01:28:57,026 How nice. 1526 01:28:57,244 --> 01:28:58,653 where do you live exactly? 1527 01:28:59,494 --> 01:29:00,157 Home. 1528 01:29:01,994 --> 01:29:03,238 where is "home"? 1529 01:29:03,452 --> 01:29:05,324 Here and there. You couldn't understand. 1530 01:29:06,577 --> 01:29:08,118 They're plotting something. 1531 01:29:08,327 --> 01:29:10,365 They were nosing around the chimney. 1532 01:29:10,578 --> 01:29:11,987 Really... 1533 01:29:12,203 --> 01:29:15,615 I'll conduct an investigation concerning your strange guest. 1534 01:29:15,828 --> 01:29:16,906 Peasant, come here. 1535 01:29:22,828 --> 01:29:24,783 what the hell, ass-breath! 1536 01:29:24,995 --> 01:29:26,736 You smell like a dead skunk! 1537 01:29:30,453 --> 01:29:31,401 where is Lady Beatrice? 1538 01:29:31,620 --> 01:29:32,864 she's upstairs changing. 1539 01:29:33,245 --> 01:29:36,196 Your cousin has agreed to dine with Mr. Bernay 1540 01:29:36,412 --> 01:29:37,691 of the Bernay and Bernay Bank. 1541 01:29:38,078 --> 01:29:41,029 Our bank has aIways appreciated the aristocracy. 1542 01:29:41,245 --> 01:29:44,113 May the Lord bless you, kind Bernay and Bernay. 1543 01:29:45,079 --> 01:29:46,192 Is he teasing me? 1544 01:29:46,412 --> 01:29:47,490 I doubt it. 1545 01:29:53,162 --> 01:29:55,449 To think my ancestors built all this! 1546 01:29:55,662 --> 01:29:58,411 - That dungeon is to die for! - we almost did. 1547 01:29:58,662 --> 01:30:01,151 - what were you doing? - I was showing... 1548 01:30:01,371 --> 01:30:03,694 my all-too-logical husband how we almost 1549 01:30:03,912 --> 01:30:05,192 found the treasure. 1550 01:30:05,412 --> 01:30:06,870 You played doctor there? 1551 01:30:07,746 --> 01:30:09,404 Leave me now. 1552 01:30:13,496 --> 01:30:15,037 You called me, Mr. Bernay? 1553 01:30:15,996 --> 01:30:17,026 Tell me, Jacquart, 1554 01:30:18,038 --> 01:30:19,579 is your cousin Montmirail 1555 01:30:19,871 --> 01:30:21,862 a little la-dee-dah-ish? 1556 01:30:22,080 --> 01:30:23,359 what is la-dee-dah-ish? 1557 01:30:23,705 --> 01:30:27,568 Anyone can have a gay cousin and an alcoholic father. 1558 01:30:28,330 --> 01:30:30,404 There's no cause for embarrassment. 1559 01:30:30,622 --> 01:30:32,991 who are you to insult my happily-retired father? 1560 01:30:33,205 --> 01:30:34,995 Do I ask if your father farts? 1561 01:30:35,205 --> 01:30:37,361 Or if your wife boozes it up in the closet? 1562 01:30:38,413 --> 01:30:40,949 Talking about his family is a major taboo. 1563 01:30:44,664 --> 01:30:45,861 You know the dungeon? 1564 01:30:46,622 --> 01:30:47,368 what is this? 1565 01:30:48,289 --> 01:30:50,955 You entered my chamber without requesting audience? 1566 01:30:51,164 --> 01:30:53,996 Anything found in the dungeon belongs to the hotel. 1567 01:30:54,414 --> 01:30:55,611 whatever it's worth. 1568 01:30:56,039 --> 01:30:57,413 what is that? Crack? 1569 01:30:57,622 --> 01:30:58,570 LsD? 1570 01:30:58,789 --> 01:31:00,863 Hand it over. I'll have it analyzed. 1571 01:31:03,289 --> 01:31:04,995 No tricks! I'm armed! 1572 01:31:07,414 --> 01:31:09,784 Hilda? still there? Lucky me. 1573 01:31:10,164 --> 01:31:13,612 Jump in a taxi and bring me my black cocktail dress. 1574 01:31:13,831 --> 01:31:14,945 we have a dinner. 1575 01:31:15,623 --> 01:31:16,701 Hub, knock first! 1576 01:31:18,456 --> 01:31:19,487 The little red balls. 1577 01:31:22,165 --> 01:31:22,994 what now? 1578 01:31:23,206 --> 01:31:25,078 You want a tranquilizer, Hub? 1579 01:31:25,498 --> 01:31:26,279 what's wrong? 1580 01:31:27,165 --> 01:31:30,116 He's making progress. He realizes he's cracking up. 1581 01:31:30,332 --> 01:31:31,789 Maybe he'll ask to be locked up. 1582 01:31:31,998 --> 01:31:33,823 I am totally disappointed in you. 1583 01:31:34,623 --> 01:31:35,453 I swear. 1584 01:31:36,123 --> 01:31:37,403 Free us immediately. 1585 01:31:37,624 --> 01:31:39,282 I'll reduce the sentence. 1586 01:31:39,499 --> 01:31:41,904 - swallow, peasant. - Enough's enough. 1587 01:31:45,249 --> 01:31:47,535 Don't bother with me. I'll keep quiet. 1588 01:31:47,749 --> 01:31:49,621 - Is your cousin Hubert joining us? - soon. 1589 01:31:51,499 --> 01:31:53,406 They stop serving at 9:30. 1590 01:31:53,624 --> 01:31:54,619 Countess. 1591 01:32:09,083 --> 01:32:10,078 Let us eat. 1592 01:32:13,250 --> 01:32:15,703 Did you know this dungeon existed? 1593 01:32:16,000 --> 01:32:17,706 Of course not! 1594 01:32:18,541 --> 01:32:19,454 Help! 1595 01:32:19,958 --> 01:32:21,237 where is sergeant-Major Gibon? 1596 01:32:21,458 --> 01:32:23,164 with Jacques-Henri. Go have a drink. 1597 01:32:23,375 --> 01:32:24,287 On the house. 1598 01:32:26,667 --> 01:32:29,072 'Twas much more hospitable in the past. 1599 01:32:29,292 --> 01:32:31,282 we burned entire trees. 1600 01:32:31,500 --> 01:32:34,332 The walls and floors were covered with rugs. 1601 01:32:34,542 --> 01:32:38,950 Not an evening went by without jugglers, minstrels, and trollops. 1602 01:32:40,209 --> 01:32:41,749 I remember one evening, 1603 01:32:41,959 --> 01:32:45,538 the fire-eater set afire Lady Flegmonde's wig. 1604 01:32:45,751 --> 01:32:49,081 we had to throw her into the icy moat, fully-dressed. 1605 01:32:49,792 --> 01:32:51,534 Family souvenirs are so vivid. 1606 01:32:54,709 --> 01:32:57,790 He tells them so well. You feel you're there. 1607 01:32:58,334 --> 01:32:59,033 where? 1608 01:33:00,251 --> 01:33:02,325 Isn't he the bum from the church? 1609 01:33:08,001 --> 01:33:09,624 Are you okay, sugardaddy? 1610 01:33:09,835 --> 01:33:11,872 I'm still not used to this jalopy. 1611 01:33:12,293 --> 01:33:13,158 Evening, wench. 1612 01:33:13,376 --> 01:33:14,158 Hiya Missy. 1613 01:33:14,376 --> 01:33:15,241 sir, ma'am... 1614 01:33:15,460 --> 01:33:16,621 where's Mr. Godefroy, 1615 01:33:16,960 --> 01:33:18,121 dammit? 1616 01:33:19,252 --> 01:33:19,915 There. 1617 01:33:20,377 --> 01:33:21,407 Ladies and Gents. 1618 01:33:22,793 --> 01:33:24,867 Good evening, ma'am. Good evening, sir. 1619 01:33:30,127 --> 01:33:33,327 My Jacquasse. You came. I am relieved. 1620 01:33:33,544 --> 01:33:34,325 Ladies and Gents. 1621 01:33:34,544 --> 01:33:35,289 Mr. Goulard. 1622 01:33:36,044 --> 01:33:38,200 Come drink to our friends, my Crass. 1623 01:33:39,044 --> 01:33:40,584 Before we leave. 1624 01:33:40,919 --> 01:33:41,665 when is that? 1625 01:33:41,961 --> 01:33:42,873 This evening. 1626 01:33:43,086 --> 01:33:44,957 - Tonight? - Traveling by night? 1627 01:33:45,419 --> 01:33:46,533 Indeed. 1628 01:33:47,044 --> 01:33:49,912 I prefer night-driving. I have 20/20 vision. 1629 01:33:50,127 --> 01:33:51,999 There are fewer road hogs. 1630 01:33:52,211 --> 01:33:53,455 Except in the fog. 1631 01:33:53,669 --> 01:33:55,411 I'm a helicopter-man myself. 1632 01:34:00,628 --> 01:34:01,741 I am not going, sire. 1633 01:34:02,169 --> 01:34:03,034 we're getting hitched. 1634 01:34:03,753 --> 01:34:06,123 He's too shy to ask you to be best man. 1635 01:34:06,336 --> 01:34:09,370 You can stay too. I have the antidote against rot. 1636 01:34:11,045 --> 01:34:13,533 - Your purse, Ginette. - Hold on, babe. 1637 01:34:14,045 --> 01:34:15,324 My bag's a mess. 1638 01:34:15,837 --> 01:34:17,911 so much room you can shit in it! 1639 01:34:18,170 --> 01:34:18,916 what? 1640 01:34:19,795 --> 01:34:21,371 what do you do, Mr... 1641 01:34:22,462 --> 01:34:24,499 Kass, as in... "gas". 1642 01:34:26,879 --> 01:34:29,581 No rot can resist tooth pate! 1643 01:34:30,420 --> 01:34:31,119 what? 1644 01:34:31,504 --> 01:34:32,368 Pearly white! 1645 01:34:41,837 --> 01:34:43,034 How 'bout that? 1646 01:34:43,504 --> 01:34:45,246 That was really gross. 1647 01:34:46,671 --> 01:34:47,868 Enough. 1648 01:34:49,588 --> 01:34:51,246 what are you doing, bruiser? 1649 01:34:51,463 --> 01:34:52,576 Throwing him out. 1650 01:34:52,796 --> 01:34:55,082 Let go of him! 1651 01:35:01,130 --> 01:35:02,208 what's going on? 1652 01:35:05,838 --> 01:35:06,952 Are you okay? 1653 01:35:08,588 --> 01:35:09,618 No, sire! 1654 01:35:16,922 --> 01:35:18,747 You can't force me to go home! 1655 01:35:19,547 --> 01:35:22,082 I'm not a vassal anymore! I'm free! 1656 01:35:22,713 --> 01:35:24,455 Long live the Revolution! 1657 01:35:37,006 --> 01:35:38,629 Look. He's your youngling too. 1658 01:35:38,839 --> 01:35:41,244 He was a good man. He knew about justice. 1659 01:35:41,547 --> 01:35:43,337 They cut off his head, peasant. 1660 01:35:43,547 --> 01:35:44,412 Freddy! 1661 01:35:44,881 --> 01:35:46,871 Help! 1662 01:35:47,089 --> 01:35:48,796 who's that? 1663 01:35:49,006 --> 01:35:50,547 Your youngling. 1664 01:35:50,756 --> 01:35:51,704 You jailed him? 1665 01:35:52,006 --> 01:35:54,293 I left it so they'll find him. Drink! 1666 01:35:57,548 --> 01:35:58,745 I'm in pain! 1667 01:36:04,465 --> 01:36:05,377 Hub, it's Bea. 1668 01:36:08,798 --> 01:36:10,208 what happened to Mr. Kass? 1669 01:36:10,423 --> 01:36:12,082 My God! My belly! 1670 01:36:12,548 --> 01:36:13,662 I have no time. Listen. 1671 01:36:13,882 --> 01:36:15,079 I'm listening, Hubert. 1672 01:36:15,298 --> 01:36:16,756 I'm not Hubert. 1673 01:36:16,965 --> 01:36:18,920 I'm Godefroy Amaury de Malfete, 1674 01:36:19,132 --> 01:36:21,537 Count of Montmirail, of Apremont and of Popincourt. 1675 01:36:21,840 --> 01:36:25,419 son of Aldebert de Malfete and Thibaude de Montfaucon. 1676 01:36:27,090 --> 01:36:27,955 I am your ancestor. 1677 01:36:36,591 --> 01:36:37,420 Torch. 1678 01:36:50,758 --> 01:36:52,914 Fred, it's you. Freddy. 1679 01:36:55,466 --> 01:36:57,089 I beg your pardon, youngling. 1680 01:37:07,967 --> 01:37:11,498 I'm sick of your song and dance. I don't believe a word of it. 1681 01:37:11,883 --> 01:37:13,921 so spill the beans. 1682 01:37:14,133 --> 01:37:16,041 shit! Damn it! 1683 01:37:19,009 --> 01:37:22,623 You don't believe me? I'll show you something you've never seen. 1684 01:37:23,175 --> 01:37:24,798 That no one has ever seen. 1685 01:37:25,967 --> 01:37:27,709 That you'll never see again. 1686 01:37:30,009 --> 01:37:31,799 sit thyself down, and watch. 1687 01:37:34,801 --> 01:37:36,626 I'm going to vomit. 1688 01:37:42,759 --> 01:37:44,466 Does your tummy ache? 1689 01:38:12,635 --> 01:38:14,590 where is Mr. Kass? 1690 01:38:14,802 --> 01:38:16,425 How did "Jacky" get so rich? 1691 01:38:16,635 --> 01:38:18,294 An antique car is no bargain. 1692 01:38:18,510 --> 01:38:20,715 It's his own personal fortune. 1693 01:38:21,219 --> 01:38:25,592 His family owns this joint. He wants us to tie the knot. 1694 01:38:25,802 --> 01:38:28,042 why didn't you tell me from the start? 1695 01:38:28,594 --> 01:38:29,755 I did. 1696 01:38:31,136 --> 01:38:32,676 You wouldn't listen. 1697 01:38:33,511 --> 01:38:35,881 You're right. I'm sorry Godefroy. 1698 01:38:36,844 --> 01:38:38,302 I'm going, Beatrice. 1699 01:38:38,844 --> 01:38:40,882 I am very happy to have known you. 1700 01:38:41,803 --> 01:38:44,208 Godefroy, I'm so moved. what can I say? 1701 01:38:44,678 --> 01:38:46,503 we'll never meet again. 1702 01:38:47,553 --> 01:38:50,255 It is so unique to be able to touch you, 1703 01:38:50,970 --> 01:38:54,086 my youngling, my ever-so-young youngling. 1704 01:38:56,511 --> 01:38:57,424 You know, 1705 01:38:58,637 --> 01:39:00,295 I lied. 1706 01:39:00,762 --> 01:39:05,135 I was not searching for a treasure, but for the magic potion. 1707 01:39:05,595 --> 01:39:06,294 Pardon me. 1708 01:39:06,720 --> 01:39:09,387 No treasure can replace our having met. 1709 01:39:09,595 --> 01:39:10,259 Indeed. 1710 01:39:10,554 --> 01:39:13,042 Nothing can equal meeting one's descendants. 1711 01:39:17,470 --> 01:39:18,252 Bea? Are you there? 1712 01:39:20,637 --> 01:39:23,552 My life will seem so boring now. 1713 01:39:23,762 --> 01:39:25,385 You must forget me. 1714 01:39:25,679 --> 01:39:27,088 You have your children. 1715 01:39:28,012 --> 01:39:31,176 Give Florian and Ondine a big kiss from an old ancestor. 1716 01:39:32,721 --> 01:39:35,589 And deep in your soul, keep 1717 01:39:35,804 --> 01:39:37,676 a memory of me. 1718 01:39:39,888 --> 01:39:41,380 I love you, my Beatrice. 1719 01:39:41,763 --> 01:39:43,007 I love you too. 1720 01:39:56,388 --> 01:39:58,426 A secret passage. This way! 1721 01:39:59,347 --> 01:40:00,508 sergeant-Major Gibon? 1722 01:40:00,722 --> 01:40:02,677 Are you okay? You're not hurt? 1723 01:40:03,013 --> 01:40:04,175 No, Jean-Pierre. 1724 01:40:04,555 --> 01:40:05,834 where did Hubert go? 1725 01:40:06,055 --> 01:40:07,927 You're too rational to understand. 1726 01:40:08,139 --> 01:40:12,132 spare me your lame interpretations. Answer me, please. 1727 01:40:12,472 --> 01:40:13,385 where is your cousin? 1728 01:40:13,639 --> 01:40:15,546 He left with Mr. Kass. 1729 01:40:18,472 --> 01:40:19,634 Is the sheriff gone? 1730 01:40:19,847 --> 01:40:22,004 what are you saying? Mr. Kass is here. 1731 01:40:22,222 --> 01:40:23,419 Mr. Kass! 1732 01:40:23,681 --> 01:40:26,679 Hush! I must find Lady Ginette. 1733 01:40:30,473 --> 01:40:32,380 who left with...? 1734 01:40:33,764 --> 01:40:34,463 shit! 1735 01:40:56,848 --> 01:40:58,258 A bear is chasing her! 1736 01:41:01,182 --> 01:41:03,552 steer clear, beloved! steer clear! 1737 01:41:04,307 --> 01:41:05,088 Come back! 1738 01:41:08,640 --> 01:41:11,176 If you find enough force 1739 01:41:11,390 --> 01:41:12,967 in yourself, 1740 01:41:13,182 --> 01:41:14,461 you will be able 1741 01:41:14,682 --> 01:41:16,424 to change the course of the arrow. 1742 01:41:29,891 --> 01:41:30,672 Holy scrotums! 1743 01:41:31,099 --> 01:41:32,426 You almost pierced'st me! 1744 01:41:33,433 --> 01:41:36,099 slay the father of my lady-love? 1745 01:41:36,308 --> 01:41:38,180 Your absence was an eternity, 1746 01:41:38,391 --> 01:41:39,339 dear Godefroy. 1747 01:41:42,850 --> 01:41:44,307 - It's hard! - sorry, beloved. 1748 01:41:45,058 --> 01:41:46,883 Jacquasse, where are you, peasant? 1749 01:41:47,391 --> 01:41:48,849 Fetch my crossbow. 1750 01:41:49,308 --> 01:41:50,173 He's here, sire. 1751 01:41:50,433 --> 01:41:51,974 A-snoring in clown clothes. 1752 01:41:55,642 --> 01:41:56,886 where are we? 1753 01:41:59,517 --> 01:42:00,512 where's Freddy? 1754 01:42:02,600 --> 01:42:03,974 who are you? 1755 01:42:05,975 --> 01:42:08,843 Take my crossbow. Oil it at the castle. 1756 01:42:09,225 --> 01:42:10,220 what are you doing here? 1757 01:42:10,767 --> 01:42:12,390 Jump in the river. You stinketh. 1758 01:42:23,018 --> 01:42:25,720 so Crass? Have you been sucking up wine? 1759 01:42:28,976 --> 01:42:30,634 what the hell is going on? 1760 01:42:31,518 --> 01:42:34,599 Obey your Lord. I don't want to whip you on his wedding day! 1761 01:42:37,351 --> 01:42:38,216 Indeed! 1762 01:42:40,351 --> 01:42:41,927 Obey hastily, my Jacquasse. 1763 01:42:42,560 --> 01:42:43,389 shit! 1764 01:42:44,310 --> 01:42:45,637 Fuck! 1765 01:42:47,310 --> 01:42:48,507 Freakkky! 1766 01:42:49,727 --> 01:42:50,426 Okkk ayyy! 1767 01:42:52,810 --> 01:42:54,552 Hand over your jewels! 1768 01:42:59,685 --> 01:43:02,600 Cousin Hubert! what is this nightmare? 1769 01:43:06,185 --> 01:43:08,093 what the hell is going on? 1770 01:43:10,436 --> 01:43:12,012 I'm hallucinating! 1771 01:43:13,019 --> 01:43:15,389 what the hell is going on? 1772 01:46:33,025 --> 01:46:35,774 subtitled by Andrew Litvak 1773 01:46:39,608 --> 01:46:40,936 A little hello to credit-loverS!