1
00:00:07,882 --> 00:00:11,427
Guys? There's, uh, somebody
I'd like you to meet.

2
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,595
[PHOEBE & RACHEL GASP]

3
00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:15,639
Wait, wait. What is that?

4
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,516
That would be Marcel. You wanna say hi?

5
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,018
No. No, I don't.

6
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:21,311
Oh, he is precious.
Where did you get him?

7
00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:23,605
My friend Bethel rescued him
from some lab.

8
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:25,315
That is so cruel.

9
00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:28,652
Why? Why would a parent
name their child Bethel?

10
00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:33,699
Hey, that monkey's got a Ross
on his ass.

11
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,957
Ross, is he gonna live with you,
like, in your apartment?

12
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:45,335
Yeah. I mean, it's been kind of quiet
since Carol left, so...

13
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,337
Why don't you just get a roommate?

14
00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:49,548
Ah, I don't know.
You reach a certain age...

15
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,842
...having a roommate
is just kind of pathe...

16
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:58,932
Uh, sorry, that's "pathet," which is Sanskrit
for "really cool way to live."

17
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,736
You guys,
I'm doing all-new material tonight.

18
00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,364
I have 12 new songs
about my mother's suicide...

19
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,783
...and one about a snowman.

20
00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:02,037
Might want to open with the snowman.

21
00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,415
GROUP: Hey, Joey.
- Hey.

22
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,626
ROSS: Hey, Joe.
- So how'd it go?

23
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:10,379
Ah, I didn't get the job.

24
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:11,547
[GROUP GROANS]

25
00:02:11,714 --> 00:02:14,299
How could you not get it?
You were Santa last year.

26
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:19,555
I don't know. Some fat guy's
sleeping with the store manager.

27
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,558
He's not even jolly. It's all political.

28
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:24,977
So, what are you gonna be?

29
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:27,146
I'm gonna be one of his helpers.

30
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:30,315
It's just such a slap in the face,
you know?

31
00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:32,568
Do you guys know what you're doing
for New Year's?

32
00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:34,862
[GROUP SHOUTING]

33
00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:37,823
Gee, what?
What is wrong with New Year's?

34
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,575
Nothing for you. You have Paolo.

35
00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:42,286
You don't have to face
the horrible pressures of this holiday...

36
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:44,496
...desperate scramble
to find anything with lips...

37
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:48,375
...just so can have somebody to kiss
when the ball drops. Man, I'm talking loud.

38
00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:53,755
Well, for your information, Paolo's
gonna be in Rome this New Year's.

39
00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:55,966
So I'll be just as pathetic
as the rest of you.

40
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,177
Yeah, you wish.

41
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:03,098
It's just that I'm sick of being a victim
of this Dick Clark holiday.

42
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:05,684
I say this year, no dates, we make a pact.

43
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,853
Just the six of us. Dinner.

44
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,897
- Sure.
- Fine.

45
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:12,441
You know, I was hoping
for a little more enthusiasm.

46
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:13,817
- Woo!
- Okay.

47
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,779
- Phoebe, you're on.
- Oh. Oh, good.

48
00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:21,783
Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen,
back by popular demand...

49
00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:24,119
...Miss Phoebe Buffay.

50
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:25,537
[CROWD CHEERING]

51
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:29,791
Thanks. Hi.

52
00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:34,588
Um, ahem, I want to start with a song
that means a lot to me this time of year.

53
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:43,096
[SINGING]
I made a man with eyes of coal

54
00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:46,892
And a smile so bewitchin'

55
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,937
How was I supposed to know

56
00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,856
That my mom was dead in the kitchen?

57
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,154
La-la-la

58
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:02,741
My mother's ashes

59
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:06,161
Even her eyelashes

60
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:13,335
Are resting in a little yellow jar

61
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,506
- And sometimes when it's freezing
DAVID: I'm being honest here.

62
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:18,674
You don't agree.

63
00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:21,051
- I feel a little sneezy
MAX: You're right.

64
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,679
And now I...
Excuse me? Excuse me?

65
00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,597
Yeah, noisy boys.

66
00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:30,269
Is it something that you'd like
to share with the group?

67
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,856
No. No, that's okay.

68
00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:38,110
Come on, if it's important enough
to discuss while I'm playing...

69
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,280
...then I assume it's important enough
for everyone else to hear.

70
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,949
That guy's going home with a note.

71
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,329
[CLEARS THROAT]

72
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:51,957
- Nothing. I was just saying...
- Could you speak up?

73
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,333
Sorry.

74
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:58,213
I was just saying to my friend, you were
the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

75
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:01,383
- And you said Daryl Hannah...
- Darryl Hannah.

76
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:04,636
...was the most beautiful woman
that he'd ever seen in his life.

77
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:08,056
And I said, yeah, I liked her in Splash,
but not so much in Wall Street.

78
00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:11,018
- I thought she had a hard quality.
- A hard quality.

79
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,731
And, uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful
in a conventional way...

80
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:19,401
...you are, uh, luminous
with a kind of delicate grace.

81
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,240
Then that's when you started yelling.

82
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:35,459
Okay, we're gonna take a short break.

83
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:42,341
I think that guy's going home
with more than a note.

84
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,389
ROSS:
Come here, Marcel. Sit here.

85
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,351
[MARCEL CHATTERING]

86
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,854
Pheebs, I can't believe
he hasn't kissed you yet.

87
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,814
I mean, God, by my sixth date
with Paolo...

88
00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:00,942
...I mean, he had already named
both my breasts.

89
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:07,157
Ooh, did I just share too much?

90
00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:09,951
Just a smidge.

91
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:14,206
David's, like, you know, a scientist guy.
He's very methodical.

92
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,209
- I think it's romantic.
- Me too. Oh!

93
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,419
Did you ever see
An Officer and a Gentleman?

94
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:20,629
MONICA:
Yeah.

95
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:24,299
Well, he's kind of like the guy
I went to see that with.

96
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:25,759
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

97
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:27,969
Except...

98
00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:33,141
Except he's smarter and gentler
and sweeter.

99
00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:36,395
I just... I just want to be with him
all the time.

100
00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:40,273
You know, day and night.
And night and day.

101
00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:43,026
And special occasions.

102
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,490
Wait a minute. I see where this is going.
You're gonna ask him to New Year's.

103
00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:50,951
You're gonna break the pact.
She's gonna break the pact.

104
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,120
No, no, no.

105
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,206
Yeah, could I just?

106
00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:00,669
- Yeah, because I already asked Janice.
RACHEL: You what?

107
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,463
Come on, this was a pact.
This was your pact.

108
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,299
I snapped, okay? I couldn't handle
the pressure and I snapped.

109
00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:09,553
Yeah, but Janice?
That was, like, the worst breakup in history.

110
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,264
I'm not saying it was a good idea.
I'm saying I snapped.

111
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:17,352
Hi. Hi, sorry I'm late.

112
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,071
Too many jokes.

113
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,574
Must mock Joey.

114
00:07:33,202 --> 00:07:35,245
Nice shoes, huh?

115
00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:37,873
Aah, you're killing me.

116
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:42,794
Ross.
He's playing with my spatulas again.

117
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,797
Look, he's not gonna hurt them, right?

118
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,966
Do you always have to bring him here?

119
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,428
Look, I didn't want to leave him alone,
all right?

120
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:54,139
We had our first fight this morning.

121
00:07:55,850 --> 00:08:00,896
I think it has to do with my working late.
I said some things that I didn't mean.

122
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,192
He threw some feces.

123
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:11,281
You know, if you're gonna work late,
I can look in on him for you.

124
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:13,450
Oh, that would be great. Okay.

125
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:17,078
But if you do, make sure it seems
like you're there to see him, okay?

126
00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:19,789
And you're not, like, doing it
as a favor to me.

127
00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:23,001
Okay. But if he asks, I'm not going to lie.

128
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:32,135
But you can't actually test this theory.

129
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:35,764
Because today's particle accelerators
are nowhere near powerful enough...

130
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,850
...to simulate these conditions.

131
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,645
- Okay. All right. I have a question then.
- Yeah.

132
00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:43,813
Were you planning on kissing me ever?

133
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:50,070
Uh, that's definitely a valid question...

134
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:52,447
...and, uh, the answer...

135
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:54,908
...would be yes.

136
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,660
Yes, I was.

137
00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:04,167
But see, I wanted it to be
this phenomenal kiss...

138
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:07,295
...that happened at this phenomenal
moment because, well, it's you.

139
00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:08,713
Sure. Yeah.

140
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:12,926
Right. But, see, the longer I waited,
the more phenomenal the kiss had to be.

141
00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:14,511
And now, we've reached a place...

142
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,264
...where it's just got to be
one of those things where I...

143
00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:20,308
...sweep everything off the table
and throw you down on it.

144
00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:23,520
And I'm not really
a sweeping sort of fella.

145
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:27,857
Oh, David, I think you are
a sweeping sort of fella.

146
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:32,279
I mean, you're a sweeper
trapped inside a physicist's body.

147
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:35,031
- Really.
- Oh, yeah. I'm sure of it.

148
00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:37,951
You should just do it.
Just sweep and throw me. Heh.

149
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,540
- Now? Now?
- Right now. Just...

150
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:44,916
Okay. Okay, okay.

151
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,627
[CHUCKLES]

152
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:51,381
You know what?
This is just really expensive.

153
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:55,010
Okay. And I'll tell you, this was a gift.

154
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:59,097
- So now you're just kind of tidying up.
- Okay, what the hell? What the hell?

155
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:00,599
[SHOUTS]

156
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:06,021
- You want me to actually throw you...?
- I can hop.

157
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:26,249
Now, tell me something, what does
the phase "no-date pact" mean to you?

158
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:27,542
Look, I'm sorry, okay?

159
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,295
It's just that Chandler has somebody
and Phoebe has somebody.

160
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,672
I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.

161
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,966
- Fun Bobby, your ex-boyfriend, Fun Bobby?
- Yeah.

162
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,844
You know more than one Fun Bobby?

163
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:39,846
I happen to know a Fun Bob.

164
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,683
Okay. Here we go.

165
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:46,519
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
There's no room for milk.

166
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,860
There. Now there is.

167
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,154
Okay, so on our no-date evening...

168
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,490
...three of you now
are gonna have dates.

169
00:10:58,658 --> 00:10:59,824
- Uh, four.
- Four.

170
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,618
- Five.
- Five.

171
00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:04,788
Sorry. Paolo's catching an earlier flight.

172
00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:08,708
Yeah, and I met this really hot
single mom at the store. Ha, ha.

173
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,211
What's an elf to do?

174
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:14,589
Okay, so I'm gonna be the only one
standing there alone...

175
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:15,840
...when the ball drops?

176
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:19,928
Oh, come on. We'll have a big party,
and no one will know who's with who.

177
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:22,180
Hey, you know,
this is so not what I needed now.

178
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:25,016
- What's the matter?
- Oh, it's Marcel.

179
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,646
He keeps shutting me out, you know?

180
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:33,441
He's walking around all the time,
dragging his hands.

181
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:37,112
That's so weird. I had such a blast
with him the other night.

182
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:39,406
- Really?
- Yeah, we played. We watched TV.

183
00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:42,117
That juggling thing is amazing.

184
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,077
What, uh?

185
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,122
What juggling thing?

186
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:50,792
With the balled-up socks?
I figured you taught him that.

187
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:52,877
No.

188
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:56,798
You know, it wasn't that big a deal.
I mean, just balled-up socks.

189
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,007
And a melon.

190
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,639
- Phoebe. Hi.
- Hi, Max. Do you know everybody?

191
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,683
No. Have you seen David?

192
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,519
No, he hasn't been around.

193
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:13,273
Well, if you see him, tell him
to pack his bags. We are going to Minsk.

194
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:16,609
- Minsk?
- Minsk. It's in Russia.

195
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,696
I know where Minsk is.

196
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,323
Ha, ha. We got the grant.

197
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:25,535
Three years, all expenses paid.

198
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:27,328
So when do you leave?

199
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,205
January 1 st.

200
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:39,841
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

201
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:41,509
Hello?

202
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:44,846
- Hey. Hi. Hi.
- Hi.

203
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:48,183
- What are you doing here?
- Um, well, Max told me about Minsk.

204
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:51,311
So you know, congratulations.
This is so exciting!

205
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:53,188
MAX:
Yeah.

206
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:55,523
It'd be even more exciting,
if we were going.

207
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:59,194
Oh, you're not going? Oh, why?

208
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:00,862
Tell her, David.

209
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:04,199
"I don't want to go to Minsk to work
with Lipson and Yamaguchi and Flank.

210
00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:09,078
No, no, no. I want to stay here
and make out with my girlfriend."

211
00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:12,040
Okay, thank you, Max. Thank you.

212
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,168
So you're really not going?

213
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:18,588
I don't know. I don't know
what I'm gonna do. I just...

214
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:20,673
You decide.

215
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,008
- Oh, don't do that.
- Please?

216
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,260
No, but I'm asking you.
I can't make a decision.

217
00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:27,096
- I can't. Please, just...
- Okay. Stay.

218
00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:30,809
- Stay.
- Stay.

219
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,027
Getting so good at that.

220
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,322
It was Max's stuff.

221
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:52,914
[R.E.M.'S "SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE"
PLAYING]

222
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,208
I love this artichoke thing.

223
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:58,962
Oh, don't tell me what's in it.
The diet starts tomorrow.

224
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:00,839
[LAUGHING NASALLY]

225
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,385
You remember Janice.

226
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,096
Vividly.

227
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,643
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

228
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,605
MONICA: Hi.
- Hi, I'm Sandy.

229
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,650
Sandy, hi. Come on in. Hey.

230
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,993
Ha, ha.

231
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,037
- You brought your kids.
- Yeah. That's okay, right?

232
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,917
Party.

233
00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:40,837
That thing is not coming in here.

234
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:44,507
"That thing"? This is how
you greet guests at a party?

235
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:47,302
Let me ask you something.
If I showed up with my new girlfriend...

236
00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:48,970
...she wouldn't be welcome?

237
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:52,098
I'm thinking your new girlfriend
wouldn't urinate on my coffee table.

238
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:56,853
He was more embarrassed
about that than anyone.

239
00:14:57,021 --> 00:15:02,650
Okay? And for him to have the courage
to walk back in here...

240
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,527
...like nothing happened...

241
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,740
All right. All right.
Just keep him away from me.

242
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,367
Thank you. Come on, Marcel.

243
00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:14,537
What do you say you and I
do a little mingling?

244
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:19,500
All right, I'll, uh, catch up with you later.

245
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,884
Oh, my gosh. Rachel, honey...

246
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:31,179
...are you okay? Where's Paolo?

247
00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:34,974
Rome. Jerk missed his flight.

248
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:36,976
And then your face exploded?

249
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:41,898
No. Okay.

250
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:44,776
I was at the airport getting into a cab...

251
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,653
...when this woman...

252
00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:49,405
...this blond planet with a pocketbook...

253
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,616
...starts yelling at me.

254
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:54,494
Something about how
it was her cab first.

255
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:58,748
And the next thing I know, she just
starts pulling me out by my hair.

256
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:01,751
And I started blowing
my attack whistle thingy...

257
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:04,921
...and then three more cabs show up.

258
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:09,550
So as I'm going to get into a cab,
she tackles me.

259
00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:15,264
And I hit my head on the curb
and cut my lip on my whistle.

260
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:21,104
Oh! Everybody having fun at the party?

261
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:24,482
Are people eating my dip?

262
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,828
You know, when I saw you
at the store last week...

263
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:41,874
...it was probably the first time
I ever mentally undressed an elf.

264
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,129
Wow, that's, uh, dirty.

265
00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:48,256
- Ha, ha.
- Yeah.

266
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,261
Hey, kids.

267
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:58,641
Look at him. I'm not saying he has
to spend the whole evening with me...

268
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:01,019
...but at least check in.

269
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,022
There you are.

270
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:08,276
You got away from me.

271
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,570
But you found me.

272
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:12,530
Here, Ross, take our picture.

273
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,283
Smile. You're on Janice Camera.

274
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:16,743
[LAUGHING NASALLY]

275
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:19,203
Kill me. Kill me now. Ha, ha.

276
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,498
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

277
00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:24,542
Everybody, it's Fun Bobby!

278
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,252
ALL:
Fun Bobby!

279
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:27,503
MONICA:
Hey, Bobby.

280
00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:31,257
Hey, sorry I'm late.
But my, uh, grandfather...

281
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,217
...died about two hours ago.

282
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:37,597
But I couldn't get a flight
out till tomorrow, so...

283
00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:39,223
...here I am.

284
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:41,976
Hey, Fun Bobby. How's it going, man?

285
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:43,936
Whoa. Who died?

286
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,569
It's going to be an open casket,
you know?

287
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:56,574
So at least I'll get to see him again.

288
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,034
[SOBBING]

289
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:03,998
I'm gonna blow this one up and
I'm gonna write "Reunited" in glitter.

290
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:06,375
All right, Janice, that's it!

291
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:09,128
Janice? Janice? Ahem.

292
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:10,880
Hey, Janice?

293
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:14,217
When I invited you to this party,
I didn't think it meant that we...

294
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:20,264
Oh, no.

295
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:23,059
- I'm sorry you misunderstood.
- Oh, my God.

296
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,853
You listen to me, Chandler.
You listen to me.

297
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:30,608
One of these times, it's just gonna be
your last chance with me.

298
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:34,779
Oh, will you give me the thing?

299
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,244
- Hi, Max.
- Yoko.

300
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,918
I've decided to go to Minsk without you.

301
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,379
Wow.

302
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,339
MAX:
It won't be the same...

303
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:55,466
...but it will still be Minsk.

304
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,343
Happy New Year.

305
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,596
Are you all right?

306
00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:02,640
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

307
00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:13,526
You're going to Minsk.

308
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:15,945
No, I'm not going to Minsk.

309
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,864
Oh, you are so going to Minsk.

310
00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:21,075
You belong in Minsk.
You can't stay here just because of me.

311
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:24,829
Yes, I can. Because if I go,
it means I have to break up with you.

312
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,082
- And I can't break up with you.
- Oh, yes. Yes, you can.

313
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:32,670
Just say, uh, "Phoebe, I love you,
but my work is my life.

314
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,630
And that's what I have to do right now."

315
00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:37,717
And I say, "Your work? Your work?
How can you say that?"

316
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,013
And then you say, um,
"It's tearing me apart...

317
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,932
...but I have no choice.
Can't you understand that?"

318
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:49,061
And I say, "No.
No. I can't understand that."

319
00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:51,731
- Uh, ow.
- Sorry. Um...

320
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:55,484
And then you put
your arms around me...

321
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:59,071
- And then you put your arms around me.
- Oh, oh. Sorry.

322
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:03,659
And, um... And then you tell me you love me
and you'll never forget me.

323
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,996
I'll never forget you.

324
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:11,375
And then you say that it's almost midnight
and you have to go...

325
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:16,047
...because you don't want to start
the new year with me if you can't finish it.

326
00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:24,222
I'm gonna miss you...

327
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,265
...you scientist guy.

328
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,478
Hi, this is Dick Clark live
in Times Square.

329
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:35,608
We're in a virtual snowstorm
of confetti here in Times Square.

330
00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,526
It gets bigger and better every year.

331
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:39,528
Here you go, kids.

332
00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:43,491
And then the peacock bit me. Ha, ha.

333
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,534
Please kiss me at midnight.

334
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:53,751
- You seen Sandy?
- Ooh. I don't know how to tell you this...

335
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:58,631
...but, uh, she's in Monica's bedroom
getting it on with Max, that scientist geek.

336
00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:01,467
Oh, look at that.
I did know how to tell you.

337
00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:04,804
[MUMBLING]
Hey, everybody, the ball is going.

338
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,472
GROUP:
What?

339
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:08,891
The ball is dropping.

340
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,896
CLARK [ON TV]:
In 20 seconds, it'll be midnight.

341
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:17,066
And the moment of joy is upon us.

342
00:21:17,484 --> 00:21:20,486
Looks like that "no-date pact" thing
worked out.

343
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,281
Everybody looks so happy. I hate that.

344
00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:25,825
Not everybody is happy.
Hey, Bobby.

345
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:28,536
[SOBBING]

346
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:32,456
GROUP:
One. Happy New Year!

347
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:36,836
You know, I just thought I'd throw this
out there. I'm no math whiz...

348
00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:41,674
...but I do believe there are three girls
and three guys right here.

349
00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:46,053
Oh, I don't feel like kissing
anyone tonight.

350
00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:48,389
I can't kiss anyone.

351
00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:50,349
So I'm kissing everyone?

352
00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:53,269
No, no, no. You can't kiss Ross.
That's your brother.

353
00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:57,064
Perfect. Perfect. So now everybody's
getting kissed but me.

354
00:21:57,232 --> 00:21:58,607
All right. Somebody kiss me.

355
00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:02,611
Somebody kiss me. It's midnight.
Somebody kiss me. It's midnight.

356
00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:04,864
All right. All right. All right.

357
00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:06,324
There.

358
00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:16,375
I wanted this to work so much.

359
00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:18,502
I'm still in there, you know?

360
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:21,922
Changing his diapers.
Picking his fleas.

361
00:22:22,257 --> 00:22:25,009
But he's just phoning it in.

362
00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:28,763
It's just so hard to accept
that something you love so much...

363
00:22:28,930 --> 00:22:31,307
...doesn't love you back, you know?

364
00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:34,810
I think that bitch cracked my tooth.

365
00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:43,319
[English - US - SDH]