1
00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:04,795
Who the winny-binny boy?

2
00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:08,799
Oh,
you the winny-winny-binny-binny boy!

3
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:10,050
Yes.

4
00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:11,343
[CRYING]

5
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,595
Don't cry.

6
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:17,307
Don't cry, huh?

7
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,727
Why is he still crying?

8
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:22,062
Let me hold him for a sec.

9
00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,189
Here we go. Huh?

10
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:25,983
Huh. There we are.

11
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:27,484
[CHUCKLES]

12
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:28,902
Maybe it's me.

13
00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:33,115
Don't be silly. Ben loves you.
He's just being Mr. Cranky Pants.

14
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:36,285
You know, I once dated
a Miss Cranky Pants.

15
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:40,289
Lovely girl. Kind of moody.

16
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,416
There we go, all better.

17
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,960
There's my little boy. Eh.

18
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:46,420
[CRYING]

19
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,589
[CHUCKLES]

20
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,719
Can I, uh, see something?

21
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:06,565
[BEN CRIES]

22
00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:10,069
- Cool!
- He hates me.

23
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:12,696
- My nephew hates me!
- Come on, don't do this.

24
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,616
What if my own baby hates me, huh?
What do I do then?

25
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,326
Monica, stop! This is nuts.

26
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:21,205
Do you know how long it'll be
before you have to deal with this?

27
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:23,999
You don't even have a boyfriend yet.

28
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,463
Joey, she does not look fat.

29
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:18,762
Here you go.

30
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:20,222
Oh, hey, Mon.

31
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,933
[CRIES]

32
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,519
Goo, goo, goo!

33
00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:27,479
[CRIES THEN CHUCKLES]

34
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:31,567
That is so funny!
Let me see that a sec. Ha-ha-ha.

35
00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:33,068
Whoa.

36
00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:37,364
[GAGGING]

37
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,242
You okay?

38
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,577
I don't know.

39
00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:45,289
What's in this pie?

40
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:49,376
I don't know. Um, butter and eggs
and flour and lime and kiwi...

41
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,587
Kiwi? Kiwi?!

42
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:53,922
You said it was a key lime pie.

43
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:58,051
No, I didn't. I said kiwi lime.
That's what makes it so special.

44
00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:00,137
That's what's gonna kill me.

45
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,599
Ahem. I'm allergic to kiwi.

46
00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:06,894
No, you're not. You're allergic
to lobster and peanuts and...

47
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,896
[GROANS]

48
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:13,275
- Oh, my God!
- Uh. It's definitely getting worse.

49
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,736
All right. Is your tongue swelling up?

50
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:19,072
[IN NASALLY VOICE] Either that
or my mouth is getting smaller!

51
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,825
- Get your coat. We'll to the hospital.
- Uh.

52
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,286
- Will he be okay?
- He's gotta get a shot.

53
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:27,873
Uh, you know, actually,
it's getting better. It is.

54
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,459
Let's not go. Anyone up for Scrabble?

55
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:33,295
Jacket, now!

56
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:37,090
What about Ben?
We can't bring a baby to the hospital.

57
00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:38,592
We'll watch him.

58
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:41,470
Uh. Ha, I don't think so.

59
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:46,308
What? I have seven Catholic sisters.
I've taken care of hundreds of kids.

60
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,311
Come on, we want to do it.
Don't we?

61
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,605
I was gonna play basketball...

62
00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:53,732
...but I guess that's out the window.

63
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:58,070
If you take him out
for a walk, remember to bring his hat.

64
00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:01,156
There's milk in the refrigerator
and diapers in the bag.

65
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,951
Hat, milk... Got it!

66
00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:05,661
- Let's go.
- Okay.

67
00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,579
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

68
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,836
JOEY:
Consider it done!

69
00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:16,213
You understood?

70
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:19,174
My uncle Sal has a really big tongue.

71
00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:23,595
Is he the one
with the beautiful wife?

72
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,352
Hey, Rach.

73
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,021
You want to hear the song
I'm singing this afternoon?

74
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:36,066
- I wrote it this morning in the shower.
- Okay.

75
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:37,776
[PHOEBE CLEARS THROAT]

76
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:42,572
[SINGING]
I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song

77
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:46,868
Stop me if you've heard it

78
00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:52,916
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet

79
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:57,504
And Tegrin spelled backward is nirget

80
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,049
[CHUCKLES]

81
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:05,387
Uh, Rachel, sweetheart,
could I see you for a minute?

82
00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:08,807
[CLEARS THROAT]

83
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,684
RACHEL: What's up?
- Uh...

84
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,728
FYl:

85
00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:16,982
I've decided to pay a professional
musician to play here on Sundays.

86
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:21,403
Her name is Stephanie something.
Uh, she's supposed to be very good.

87
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,280
But what about Phoebe?

88
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:27,367
Rachel, uh,
it's not that your friend is bad.

89
00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:30,454
It's that she's so bad...

90
00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:36,626
...she makes me want to put my finger
through my eye into my brain...

91
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:38,587
...and swirl it around.

92
00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:43,091
Okay, so you're not a fan.

93
00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:46,762
But, I mean, come on.
You cannot do this to her.

94
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:48,388
Uh.

95
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,515
Oh, no, no, no.

96
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,434
- I have to do this to her?
- Mm-hm.

97
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:54,770
Lather, rinse, repeat

98
00:05:54,937 --> 00:06:00,817
And lather, rinse, repeat

99
00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,778
As needed

100
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,078
We didn't bring enough stuff.

101
00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:13,747
Did you forget to pack
the baby's anvil?

102
00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:15,999
I'm telling you, it'll be worth it.

103
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:19,252
It's a known fact
that women love babies, all right?

104
00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:22,923
Women love guys who love babies.
It's the sensitive thing.

105
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:27,636
Aim him at that pack of babes.
Maybe one of them will break away.

106
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:31,765
Wait, forget them.
We got one. Hard left.

107
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:33,725
- Give me the baby.
- No, I got him.

108
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,185
Come on, seriously.

109
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,229
Oh, seriously, you want him?

110
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,314
Hello.

111
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,024
BOTH:
Hello.

112
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,652
Who is this little cutie-pie?

113
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,655
Well, don't think me immodest, but...

114
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,281
...me.

115
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:49,533
[CHUCKLES]

116
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:50,784
Want to smell him?

117
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,120
I assume we're talking
about the baby?

118
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:55,664
Oh, yeah. Ha, ha.

119
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:59,126
He's got that great baby smell.
Get a whiff of his head.

120
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:01,044
[SNIFFS]

121
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,213
My uterus just skipped a beat.

122
00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:05,674
[WHISPERS]
What'd I tell you?

123
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,384
It's great you're doing this.

124
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:09,928
Well, we are great guys.

125
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:13,056
My brother and his boyfriend
have been trying to adopt.

126
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,016
What agency did you two go through?

127
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,479
[BEN WHIMPERS]

128
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,982
But this is my gig.

129
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,483
This is where I play.

130
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:26,361
My name is written out there in chalk.

131
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:29,156
You know, you can't just erase chalk.

132
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:33,910
Honey, I'm sorry.

133
00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:36,371
And he's going to
be paying this woman?

134
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:39,458
Why doesn't he just give her
a throne and a crown?

135
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:44,754
And, like, you know, a gold stick
with a ball on top?

136
00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:49,134
Terry is a jerk! That's why
we always say, "Terry's a jerk!"

137
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,053
That's where that came from.

138
00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:54,347
Yeah, okay.

139
00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:57,058
You probably did everything you could.

140
00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:02,105
You know what? Let me just
see what else I can do.

141
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:04,900
All right, look, look.

142
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:08,069
Just let her go on after
Stephanie whatever her name is.

143
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:10,697
You won't be here.
You don't pay her.

144
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,574
I don't know.

145
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,701
I'll clean the cappuccino machine!

146
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:17,245
You don't clean
the cappuccino machine?

147
00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:18,497
[SCOFFS]

148
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:21,541
Of course I clean it.

149
00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:26,087
I mean, I will clean it.

150
00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:29,549
All right, fine, fine, fine!

151
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,261
Oh.

152
00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:35,889
- Done.
- Really?

153
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:37,641
Who's working for you, babe?

154
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:41,520
- Oh, my God! This is so exciting!
RACHEL: I know.

155
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,063
How much am I gonna get?

156
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,606
What?

157
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,317
He's paying the people
who were playing.

158
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:49,027
Oh, no, no, no.

159
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:53,281
I meant, he's paying that other woman
because she's a professional.

160
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,660
I'm not gonna be the only one
who's not getting paid.

161
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,161
But, Pheebs...

162
00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,621
Uh-uh, I'm sorry, no!

163
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:04,417
No, I'm not some sloppy second,
you know, charity band.

164
00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:07,003
There are thousands of places
in this city...

165
00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:10,090
...where people would pay
to hear me play.

166
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,175
PHOEBE [SINGING]:
When I play, I play for me

167
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,469
I don't need your charity

168
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:15,929
Thank you!

169
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:27,357
[IN NASALLY VOICE] I'm not getting a
shot. Maybe they can take the needle...

170
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:30,860
...and squirt it into my mouth.
Like a squirt gun.

171
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:34,447
Hello there. I'm Dr. Carlin.

172
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:38,618
I see someone's having
a little allergic reaction.

173
00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:41,538
Doctor, can I see you
for just a moment?

174
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:47,168
My brother has
a slight phobia about needles.

175
00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:49,337
Did you tell him
about my squirt gun idea?

176
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,256
[CHUCKLES]

177
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:54,217
My brother, the Ph.D.,
would like to know...

178
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,595
...if there's any way
to treat this orally?

179
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:57,846
No.

180
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:02,142
Under these circumstances, it has to be
an injection, and it has to be now.

181
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,603
So?

182
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,438
Oh.

183
00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:10,817
Go and have a seat. Um, the doctor
says it's got to be a needle.

184
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:15,822
You're just going to have to be brave.
Can you do that for me?

185
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,450
- Okay.
- Okay.

186
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,453
Oh, boy! You are doing so good.

187
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,246
[CHUCKLES]

188
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,165
- You want to squeeze my hand?
- Yes.

189
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,376
Ross, don't squeeze it so hard.

190
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,879
Honey, really.
Don't squeeze it so hard!

191
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,173
[SHOUTS]
Let go of my hand!

192
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,054
Good plan. Next time
we want to pick up women...

193
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:42,140
...we should go to
the park and make out.

194
00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:44,017
Taxi! Taxi!

195
00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:49,064
Look at that talent.

196
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:52,901
Just practicing. You're good.

197
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,819
Carry on.

198
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:57,030
JOEY:
Wait, wait, wait!

199
00:10:57,198 --> 00:11:00,533
Hey, you. He's just adorable.

200
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:05,038
Can you tell him that?
Because he thinks he looks too pink.

201
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,289
[CHUCKLES]

202
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,125
- What are you guys out doing today?
- We're not out.

203
00:11:09,293 --> 00:11:11,252
No, no. No.

204
00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:14,297
We're two heterosexual guys
hanging with the son...

205
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:18,176
...of our other heterosexual friend,
doing the usual straight-guy stuff.

206
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,844
[CHUCKLES]

207
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,263
- You done?
- Yeah.

208
00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:23,848
Oh, there's our stop.

209
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:27,227
Get out of here!
This is our stop.

210
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,479
- You guys live around here too?
- Yeah, sure.

211
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:32,399
We live in the building
by the, uh, sidewalk.

212
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:35,860
You know it?

213
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:41,533
Ha, ha. Since we're neighbors, what do
you say we, uh, get together for a drink?

214
00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:48,707
So, uh, you want to go to Markel's?

215
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,126
Oh, sure, they love us over there.

216
00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:53,044
Where's your baby?

217
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,594
JOEY [SHOUTS]:
Ben! Ben!

218
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:06,433
Ben! Ben!

219
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:10,562
That's good. Maybe he'll
hear you and pull the cord!

220
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,896
Stop the bus! Hey!

221
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,525
JOEY: Hey, there's a baby!
CHANDLER: Wait, wait, wait!

222
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,280
[SIGHS]

223
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:23,408
Are you sure he didn't break it?
It hurts.

224
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,994
No, it's just a good bone bruise.

225
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:30,749
And right here is
the puncture wound from your ring.

226
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:35,211
- I'm really sorry.
- It's okay.

227
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,504
Sorry.

228
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:40,467
Hmm, sorry! I got my S's back!
Ha, ha.

229
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,803
Which we can celebrate later.

230
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,514
Celebrate. Celebrate...

231
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,726
[SINGING]
He was a double, double

232
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,562
Double-jointed boy

233
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,565
Hey.

234
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:58,610
So, um, are you the
professional guitar player?

235
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,695
Yeah, I'm Stephanie.

236
00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:05,200
Oh, right. My name was on there,
but now it just says carrot cake.

237
00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:07,660
Okay.

238
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:10,288
So, um,
how many chords do you know?

239
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,625
- All of them.
- So you know D?

240
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,920
- Yeah.
- Do you know A-minor?

241
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:19,756
- Yeah.
- Okay.

242
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,592
Do you know how to go
from D to A-minor?

243
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:23,968
[SCOFFS]

244
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:26,596
- Yeah.
- Okay.

245
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,474
Um, so does your guitar have a strap?

246
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:32,644
- No.
- Oh.

247
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:33,978
Mine does.

248
00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,984
[SINGING]
Stephanie knows all the chords

249
00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:44,197
Come on! Pick up, pick up!

250
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:45,740
Hello. Ahem.

251
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,826
Transit Authority? Yes, hello.

252
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,161
I'm doing research for a book.

253
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:54,165
I was wondering what somebody might
do if they left a baby on a city bus.

254
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,042
[CLEARS THROAT]

255
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,878
Yes, I realize that would be
a stupid character.

256
00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:01,798
Here's the deal:
We lost a car seat on a bus.

257
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:04,592
It's white plastic and
it fits onto a stroller.

258
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,220
Oh, and there was a baby in it.

259
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,139
He wants to talk to you.

260
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:15,520
Everybody, let's give a warm
Central Perk welcome to...

261
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,523
PHOEBE [SINGING]:
Terry's a jerk and he won't let me work

262
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,650
And I hate Central Perk

263
00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:24,988
[CLEARS THROAT]

264
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:27,448
Uh, to Stephanie Schiffer!

265
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,325
Whoo!

266
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,327
[CROWD APPLAUDING]

267
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:37,041
I'd like to start with a song I wrote
for the first man I ever loved.

268
00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:41,880
[SINGING]
Zachary...

269
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:45,258
PHOEBE [SINGING]:
Are all invited to bite me

270
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:58,062
BOTH: We're the guys that called
about the baby! Is he here?!

271
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,189
- He's here.
- Aah!

272
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,652
I assume one of you is the father.

273
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,029
- That's me.
- I'm him.

274
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:12,911
Actually, uh, ahem,
we're both the father.

275
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:24,297
BOTH [IN UNISON]:
Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy.

276
00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:26,466
[BABY BABBLING]

277
00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:30,219
[LAUGHS]

278
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,139
Please tell me you know
which one is our baby.

279
00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:38,019
That one has ducks on his T-shirt
and this one has clowns.

280
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,271
And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.

281
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,940
Or clowns.

282
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,400
Oh, wait.

283
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:47,820
That one's Ben! Remember he had
that cute little mole by his mouth!

284
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,072
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

285
00:15:49,239 --> 00:15:51,282
Hey, Ben! Remember us?

286
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,993
Okay, the mole came off.

287
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:57,747
- What are we gonna do?
- Uh.

288
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:00,833
We'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns.

289
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:03,127
- Flip for the baby?
- You got a better idea?

290
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,046
All right, call it in the air.

291
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:07,840
Heads.

292
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,384
- Heads, it is.
- Yes.

293
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:10,802
[WHISTLES]

294
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,222
We have to assign heads
to something!

295
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,684
Right! Okay.

296
00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:19,352
Okay, uh...

297
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:23,815
Ducks is heads
because ducks have heads.

298
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:31,280
What kind of scary-ass clowns
came to your birthday?

299
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:43,626
Just call me angel
Of the morning, angel

300
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:48,631
Just touch my cheek
Before you leave me, baby

301
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:53,219
Just call me angel
Of the morning, angel

302
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:57,640
Then slowly turn away

303
00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:01,686
I won't beg you to stay

304
00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:04,522
With me

305
00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:14,699
- Hey
- Oh, hi.

306
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,660
Here. I thought you might be cold.

307
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,537
Thank you.

308
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:22,331
Oh.

309
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,546
Oh, look at you!
You did pretty well.

310
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:31,841
$8.27.

311
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,510
But not really, because
I put in the first two.

312
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:40,433
Just to get the ball rolling
and to make myself feel better.

313
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:41,809
Do you?

314
00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:43,436
No.

315
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:47,899
You know, this whole playing
for money thing is so not good for me.

316
00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:51,652
I don't know, when I
sang "Su-su-suicide"...

317
00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:56,574
...I got, like, $1.75.

318
00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:58,910
But then "Smelly Cat"? Oh.

319
00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:03,956
I got 25 cents and a condom.

320
00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:09,170
So, you know, now I just feel
really bad for "Smelly Cat."

321
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:11,547
Well, you know.

322
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:15,885
Honey, I don't think
everybody gets "Smelly Cat."

323
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:22,183
I mean, if all you've ever actually
had are healthy pets, then whoosh!

324
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,478
But it's not even that, you know?

325
00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:28,523
I used to do my songs
because it made me happy.

326
00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:32,693
Now it's just all
about the money, you know?

327
00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,490
Well, people missed you in there.

328
00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:40,910
In fact, there was actually
a request for "Smelly Cat."

329
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:42,787
Really? From who?

330
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,664
Well, me.

331
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:50,461
And I know it's not your big
money song, but it's my favorite.

332
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,549
Hi.

333
00:18:54,716 --> 00:18:57,176
Uh. Did I accidentally drop
a condom in your case?

334
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:03,432
It's kind of an emergency.

335
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,059
PHOEBE:
Yeah.

336
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,769
- Here you go.
- Thanks a lot.

337
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,230
Hey, Christine! I got it!

338
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:18,364
I want to thank you
for being there for me.

339
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,950
And I'm sorry
I almost broke your hand. Ha, ha.

340
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,245
That's okay.
I'm sorry I poisoned you.

341
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,705
Mm.

342
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:29,167
Remember the time I jammed
that pencil into your hand?

343
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:33,129
Remember it? What do
you think this is, a freckle?

344
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:34,589
Oh.

345
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:38,593
What about the time I hit you
in the face with Sylvian's pumpkin?

346
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,179
Remember when I stuck
that broom in your spokes...

347
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,890
...and you hit your head on the curb?

348
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:45,308
No.

349
00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:47,143
But I remember
people telling me about it.

350
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:48,728
Oh.

351
00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:51,731
I hope Ben has a little sister.

352
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:53,316
Yeah.

353
00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:55,526
And I hope she can kick his ass.

354
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:56,819
[CHUCKLES]

355
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,863
I'm gonna get a new Band-Aid.

356
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,825
How about the time I cut
the legs off your Malibu Ken?

357
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,911
MONICA:
That was you?

358
00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:07,205
Uh.

359
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:10,499
They were infected.
He wouldn't have made it.

360
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,420
Aw.

361
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,005
My little nephew.

362
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,924
Come here, little one!

363
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:22,386
Oh. There's my little baby, Ben!

364
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:25,014
Hey, my little boy. Oh.

365
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:29,018
Hey, he's not crying!

366
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,020
[CHUCKLES]

367
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:34,732
Hey, he's not crying!

368
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,359
[CHUCKLES HESITANTLY]

369
00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:37,902
[BEN CRYING]

370
00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:39,862
Yes.

371
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:43,282
There's still pie! Ha-ha-ha.

372
00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:46,535
I'm here. I'm here.

373
00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:49,121
Uh. How's my little boy, huh?

374
00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:53,751
You want Daddy to change
your diaper? I know, I know.

375
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:58,047
Did you have fun with, uh, Uncle Joey
and Uncle Chandler today?

376
00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,298
JOEY:
Oh, yeah.

377
00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:01,842
- He rode the bus today.
ROSS: Ooh.

378
00:21:04,054 --> 00:21:05,346
Well.

379
00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:08,516
Big boy riding the bus...

380
00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:11,018
Hey, I have a question.

381
00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:16,732
How come it says,
"Property of Human Services"?

382
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,861
You...

383
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:23,239
You are gonna love this.

384
00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:24,824
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

385
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,492
Can you hold Ben for a sec?

386
00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:28,411
Come here. Come here.

387
00:21:28,578 --> 00:21:31,664
Stay back! I've got kiwi!
Run, Joey, run!

388
00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:40,965
[SINGING]
Smelly cat, smelly cat

389
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,551
What are they feeding you?

390
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:45,553
No, no. I'm sorry, it's, ahem:

391
00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:48,723
[SINGING]
Smelly cat, smelly cat

392
00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:53,019
[CLEARS THROAT]

393
00:21:53,228 --> 00:21:56,814
[SINGING]
Smelly cat, smelly cat

394
00:21:57,274 --> 00:21:58,607
- Better!
STEPHANIE: Yeah?

395
00:21:58,775 --> 00:21:59,859
Much better. Good.

396
00:22:00,068 --> 00:22:02,653
Don't feel bad,
because it's a hard song.

397
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:04,113
Yeah.

398
00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:07,533
- You want to try it again?
- From the top?

399
00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:09,785
There is no "top," all right?

400
00:22:09,953 --> 00:22:12,872
That's the beauty of "Smelly Cat."

401
00:22:14,916 --> 00:22:17,209
Um. Ahem.
Why don't you just follow me?

402
00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:18,919
- Okay.
PHOEBE: Mm-hm.

403
00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:22,715
BOTH [SINGING]:
Smelly cat, smelly cat

404
00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:25,801
What are they feeding you?

405
00:22:26,553 --> 00:22:29,513
Smelly cat, smelly cat

406
00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:32,808
It's not your fault

407
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,103
That's too much. Sorry.

408
00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:46,489
[English - US - SDH]