1
00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:05,170
WOMAN [ON TV]: Oh, Drake.
JOEY [ON TV]: I'm sorry, Amber.

2
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,923
It's just like Brad to have
to have the last word.

3
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:12,052
- I'm sorry I'm late. What happened?
- We wanna see the end.

4
00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:15,014
- I want you, Drake.
- I know you do.

5
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:17,349
But you and I can never
be together that way.

6
00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:21,145
- What?
- There's something I never told you.

7
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:24,231
I'm actually your half-brother.

8
00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:26,191
- What?
- Huh?

9
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,196
So, what happens next?

10
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:34,867
Well, I get the medical award
for separating the Siamese twins.

11
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:39,329
Then Amber and I go to Venezuela
to meet our other half-brother, Ramon...

12
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:44,334
...and that's where I find the world's
biggest emerald. It's really big.

13
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:45,794
But it's cursed.

14
00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:47,046
[ALL GASP]

15
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:50,007
- So cool!
- God, that is good TV.

16
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:42,017
- Pheebs, play with me!
- No!

17
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,560
This game is grotesque.

18
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:47,689
Twenty armless guys joined
at the waist by a steel bar...

19
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:51,276
...forced to play soccer forever? Ugh!

20
00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,654
Hello? Human rights violation.

21
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,698
Don't feel so bad.
After they're done playing...

22
00:01:56,866 --> 00:02:01,036
...I break out the plastic women
and everybody has a pretty good time.

23
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:04,248
Why don't you play with your roommate?

24
00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:06,041
Eh, he's, uh...

25
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,168
He's not a big fan of foosball.

26
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:11,130
Uh-oh. Ooh. Are we not getting along
with the new boy?

27
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:15,259
No, he's all right. He just, uh,
spends most of his time in his room.

28
00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:18,053
Maybe because you haven't
taken time to get to know him.

29
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:19,805
Let's remedy that, shall we?

30
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,058
- We don't need to remedy that.
- Oh, yeah, it'll be fun!

31
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,563
- What was that?
- Hi!

32
00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:30,482
Um, I thought it'd be fun
if the three of us had beers...

33
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,192
...and got to know each other.

34
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,487
- All right. That sounds all right.
- Oh, good! Okay.

35
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:40,200
Oh, no, I have to go,
because I'm late for my, um...

36
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:42,452
...Green Eggs and Ham
discussion group.

37
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:47,541
Um, tonight, it's "Why he would not
eat them on a train."

38
00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:50,210
- Have fun! Bye!
- That was so lame.

39
00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:52,337
I know. Yeah, heh.

40
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,798
- Okay, talk to him.
- Ahem.

41
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:02,973
So you, uh, think that Speed Racer guy
gets a lot of tickets or?

42
00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:07,769
Ha-ha-ha. That's good.
So who broke up with who?

43
00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:09,688
You kidding? I broke up with her.

44
00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:13,525
She actually thought Sean Penn
was the capital of Cambodia.

45
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:14,860
[LAUGHING]

46
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:18,155
When everybody knows that
the, uh, capital of Cambodia is...

47
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:20,115
Is, uh...

48
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,534
It's not Sean Penn.

49
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,995
All right, I got a funny one. All right?

50
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,956
My last girlfriend, Tilly.
We're eating breakfast, right?

51
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,500
I made these pancakes.
Like, 50 pancakes.

52
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,837
All of a sudden,
she turns to me and says, "Eddie...

53
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,048
...I don't wanna see you anymore."
Ha, ha.

54
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,092
It was literally like she had
reached into my chest...

55
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:42,679
...ripped out my heart
and smeared it all over my life!

56
00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:46,767
There was this incredible abyss
and I'm falling.

57
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,728
I keep falling and
I don't think I'm ever gonna stop!

58
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,146
[LAUGHING]

59
00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:54,858
[COUGHS]

60
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,027
That wasn't such a funny story, was it?

61
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,285
[SINGING] And a crusty old man
Said I'll do what I can

62
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,746
And the rest of the rats
Played maracas

63
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,626
That's it! Thanks! Good night.

64
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,463
- Phoebe's got another job, right?
- Heh.

65
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,675
RACHEL: Great set tonight, Pheebs.
ROSS: Yes.

66
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:20,968
I know.

67
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,887
- We should get going.
- Mm.

68
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,848
We should too.
I've got patients at 8 in the morning.

69
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:29,309
You know how we always stay
at your apartment?

70
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,770
I thought tonight
we'd stay at my place.

71
00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:34,523
I don't know.
I don't have my jammies.

72
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:35,857
Heh.

73
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:37,359
You don't need them.

74
00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:40,445
My baby sister, ladies and gentlemen.

75
00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,282
Shut up. I'm happy.

76
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:48,245
Oh, this is so nice!
I have to make a speech.

77
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,788
Ahem. I just want to say...

78
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:53,542
...of all the guys that Monica
has been with, and that is a lot...

79
00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:58,588
...I like you the best.
- Aw.

80
00:04:58,756 --> 00:05:01,425
Thank you, Pheebs.
That's very sweet.

81
00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:03,093
You hear that?

82
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:06,847
She likes me best. And apparently,
there have been a lot.

83
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,432
[LAUGHS]

84
00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:09,766
Not a lot.

85
00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:12,477
Phoebe's kidding. Phoebe's crazy.

86
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,023
Phoebe's dead.

87
00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:20,068
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

88
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,030
- Hi.
- Hi.

89
00:05:23,197 --> 00:05:24,740
I'm looking for Eddie Manoick.

90
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:27,617
Oh, uh, he's not here right now.
I'm Chandler.

91
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:30,704
Can I take a message or...
Or a fish tank?

92
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:32,080
Thanks.

93
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:33,957
Come on in.

94
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,375
I'm Tilly.

95
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:41,548
Oh.

96
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,509
I gather by that "Oh,"
he told you about me.

97
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,554
Yeah, your, uh, name came up...

98
00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:51,266
...in a conversation that
terrified me to my very soul.

99
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,061
He's kind of intense, huh?

100
00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:57,064
Yes! Hey, can I ask you,
is Eddie a little...

101
00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:59,941
- A little what?
...bit country?

102
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:02,944
[CLEARS THROAT]

103
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:04,404
Come on in, you roomie!

104
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:06,907
Hello, Tilly.

105
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,576
Eddie, I just came by
to drop off your tank.

106
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,953
That was very thoughtful of you.

107
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,705
It's very thoughtful.

108
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,586
Well, okay then.

109
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:22,255
I'm gonna go. Bye.

110
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,132
EDDIE: Bye.
- Bye.

111
00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:27,886
So we getting a fish?

112
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,597
You had sex with her, didn't you?

113
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,727
Pheebs! Check it out, check it out!

114
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:40,065
Oh, ooh, Soap Opera Digest!
That's one of my favorite digests!

115
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,860
- Page 42! Page 42!
- Okay, okay.

116
00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:45,904
Okay. Ooh. Hey!

117
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,949
"New Doc on the Block,
Days ofour Lives Joey Tribbiani."

118
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,618
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Oh, cool picture!

119
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,037
- Ah.
- Oh, I look good.

120
00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:59,000
Is this true? That you write
a lot of your own lines?

121
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:01,169
Well, kind of, yeah.

122
00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:05,340
Remember last week
when Alex was in the accident?

123
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,384
The line in the script was:

124
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:11,054
"If we don't get this woman
to a hospital, she's going to die."

125
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:14,307
But I made it, "If this woman
doesn't get to a hospital...

126
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,435
...she's not gonna live."

127
00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:21,523
Oh, okay.
I see what you did there.

128
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:28,029
Aren't you afraid the writers will be
kind of mad when they read this?

129
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:29,531
Huh.

130
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:34,077
I never thought about the writers.
The scripts just come to my house.

131
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:38,415
But you know what?

132
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:42,043
This makes me look good,
which makes the show look good...

133
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:45,964
...which makes the writers look good.
So how could they be mad?

134
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,509
WRITER:
Makes up most of his lines.

135
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:50,969
Son of a...

136
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:55,724
Yeah. Write this, jerk-weed.

137
00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:57,684
I fall down an elevator shaft?

138
00:07:57,852 --> 00:08:00,854
What does this mean?
I fall down an elevator shaft?

139
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:04,524
Uh, I don't know.
I just bring the scripts.

140
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:09,488
They can't kill me!
I'm Francesca's long-lost son!

141
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,740
Right.

142
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,700
Uh, could you sign?

143
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,870
No! No way! I'm not signing that!

144
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:20,373
I don't think that's gonna affect
the plot of the show.

145
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,793
How can they do this to me?

146
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:29,132
All right, uh, I'm just gonna go.

147
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:30,884
Sorry.

148
00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:39,226
Well, it wasn't that many guys.

149
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,395
If you consider how many guys
there actually are...

150
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,148
...it's a very small percentage.
- Hey.

151
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:48,109
It's not that big a deal.
I was just curious.

152
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,028
- Good night.
- Good night, Richard.

153
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:52,113
Good luck, Mon.

154
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:56,576
All right, before I tell you, uh, you tell me
how many women you've been with.

155
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:03,041
- Two.
- Two? Two? Heh.

156
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,460
How is that possible? I mean...

157
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,754
...have you seen you?

158
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,258
Well, I mean, what can I say?

159
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:15,637
I was married to Barbara for 30 years,
my high-school sweetheart.

160
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,806
Now you. That's two.

161
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,809
- Two it is. Heh.
- Mm-hm.

162
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,311
Okay, time for bed.
I'm gonna brush my teeth.

163
00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:26,022
Whoa, no, wait a minute now!

164
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,983
Come on, it's your turn.

165
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:30,026
Oh, come on!

166
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:34,990
You know, I don't need the
actual number. Just a ballpark.

167
00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:39,494
Okay, it is definitely
less than a ballpark.

168
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,710
Wow, I am so glad
I'm not Monica right now.

169
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,670
Tell me about it.

170
00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:51,506
So, what's your magic number?

171
00:09:52,883 --> 00:09:54,050
Ahh...

172
00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:58,597
Come on, you know everyone
I've been with. All both of them.

173
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:01,516
Well, ahem, there's you.

174
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,768
Better not be doing these in order.

175
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:09,024
Okay, uh, Billy Dreskin, Pete Carny.

176
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:10,859
- Ah.
- Barry.

177
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,153
And, uh, oh, Paolo.

178
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,531
Oh, yes, the weenie from Turinie.

179
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:21,953
Oh, honey, are you jealous of Paolo?

180
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:25,790
I'm so much happier with you
than I ever was with him.

181
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,043
- Really?
- Oh, please.

182
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:31,296
That Paolo thing was
barely a relationship.

183
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:35,216
All it really was
was just meaningless, animal sex.

184
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:44,059
Okay, you know, that sounded
so much better in my head.

185
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:47,437
Eddie! I didn't sleep with
your ex-girlfriend.

186
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:50,899
That's exactly what someone
who slept with her would say.

187
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:54,194
This is nuts! Crazy!
She came over for two minutes...

188
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,738
...dropped off a fish tank and left!
End of story.

189
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,366
- Where's Buddy?
- Buddy?

190
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:01,159
My fish, Buddy.

191
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,496
There was no fish
when she dropped it off.

192
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,414
Oh, this is unbelievable!

193
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:11,169
You sleep with my ex-girlfriend,
insult my intelligence by lying...

194
00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:13,338
...then you kill my fish?
My Buddy?

195
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,382
I didn't kill your fish!

196
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,425
Look, Eddie...

197
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,056
Would you look at what I'm doing?

198
00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:25,058
Now that can't be smart.

199
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,648
So we're just gonna
take this guy right off you...

200
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:34,317
...and put him here in Mr. Pocket.

201
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:37,737
Tangelo?

202
00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:50,709
That's it? That's the giant number
you were afraid to tell me?

203
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,962
- Well, yeah.
- Well, that's not bad at all.

204
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:56,881
You had me thinking it was,
like, a fleet.

205
00:11:58,342 --> 00:11:59,426
You're okay with it?

206
00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:01,344
Oh, honey, I'm fine.

207
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:02,679
Oh, yay!

208
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,432
[SIGHS]

209
00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:07,892
Okay, about that two.

210
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:09,394
What?

211
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,603
All right.

212
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:12,647
What about my two?

213
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,483
It just seems like
a really small number.

214
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:16,735
Right.

215
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,362
- And?
- And, well...

216
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,490
Don't you have a lot
of wild oats to sow?

217
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:27,495
Or is that what you're doing with me?
Oh, my God! Am I an oat?

218
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,123
Honey, you are not an oat.

219
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:34,169
I don't know, I guess
I'm just not an oat guy.

220
00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:36,337
I've only slept with women I love.

221
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:38,757
You've only slept with two people.

222
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,430
Right.

223
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,184
Wow.

224
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:51,853
Oh, wow.

225
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,856
You know I love you too, right?

226
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,358
Now I do.

227
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:01,362
[BOTH GIGGLE]

228
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:02,989
Ugh, Ross!

229
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,699
Ross, please listen to me.

230
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:09,078
Ross, you are so much better for me
than Paolo ever was.

231
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:12,373
You care about me, you're loving,
you make me laugh.

232
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,918
If I make you laugh, here's an idea.

233
00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:18,588
Invite Paolo to have a romp in the sack,
and I'll stand in the corner...

234
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:21,424
...and tell knock-knock jokes.
- Ross! Agh!

235
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:24,010
God, Ross!

236
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:27,263
What you and I have is special!
All Paolo and I ever had was...

237
00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:28,681
Animal sex, animal sex?

238
00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:30,433
[GROANS]

239
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:33,686
So, what are you saying?

240
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:36,815
There's nothing between us
"animal" at all?

241
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:40,985
There's not even,
like, um, a little animal?

242
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:42,821
Not even, like...

243
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:44,447
...chipmunk sex?

244
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:47,951
Okay, Ross...

245
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,954
Try to hear me, okay?

246
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,289
I... Hey. I'm not gonna lie to you.

247
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:57,210
- It was good with Paolo.
- Knock-knock.

248
00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:02,423
But what you and I have
is so much better.

249
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:07,011
We have tenderness,
we have intimacy, we connect.

250
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,680
You know? I swear.

251
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:11,015
This is the best...

252
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,935
...I have ever had.

253
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,522
- Until now.
- Aah!

254
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,904
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.

255
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:26,656
Richard told me he loved me.

256
00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:27,991
- Oh, my God!
- I know!

257
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:29,576
Honey, that's great!

258
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:30,994
- I know!
- Ha, ha.

259
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:32,912
- I just can't find...
- Top drawer.

260
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,206
- Hurry.
- Why? You need one too?

261
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,792
Oh, yeah.

262
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,336
- Found them!
- Whoo.

263
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,258
There's only one.

264
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:48,219
- Monica!
- Hi.

265
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:52,473
Uh, we'll be right there.
We're just trying to decide something.

266
00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:57,395
Rachel?

267
00:14:57,646 --> 00:14:59,105
[GROWLS]

268
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,908
- Hey.
- Hey.

269
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:13,953
- They're trying to decide something.
- Good. Good, good.

270
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:24,464
So is, um... So was your mustache...
Did it used to be different?

271
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,718
- No.
- Oh.

272
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:34,599
How do you, uh, you know,
keep it so neat?

273
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,686
- I have a little comb.
- Oh.

274
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:44,067
- What do you call that?
- A mustache comb.

275
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:45,652
Thank you.

276
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:50,865
Okay, I will do your laundry
for one month.

277
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,242
- No!
- Okay, okay!

278
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:55,078
I will, I will, I will...

279
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,956
I will clean the apartment
for two months.

280
00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:02,460
I'll give this to you now, if you
tell me where we keep the dustpan.

281
00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,255
[YELLS]

282
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:13,846
So were you in Nam?

283
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,687
- Rock, paper, scissors?
- Gotcha.

284
00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:23,022
One, two, three.

285
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:24,857
- Yes!
- Agh!

286
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:28,319
- Ah!
- Fine. Go have sex.

287
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:33,157
RICHARD:
No! You have got it completely wrong!

288
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,202
John Savage was Deer Hunter,
no legs.

289
00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:39,330
Jon Voight was Coming Home,
couldn't feel his legs.

290
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:43,710
No, you've got it totally the other way
around, my friend. Jon Voight...

291
00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:45,712
- Honey? Ahem.
- What? Oh.

292
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,297
[ROSS GROWLS]

293
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,806
- Shall we?
- It's not gonna happen.

294
00:16:57,057 --> 00:17:00,309
They're doing it tonight.
We can do it tomorrow.

295
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:06,566
Uh, in the future, if I could see
the schedule beforehand...

296
00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:12,155
So when I woke up this morning...

297
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:15,533
...he'd stolen all the insoles
out of my shoes!

298
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:16,826
Why?

299
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:20,872
He thinks I slept with his
ex-girlfriend and killed his fish.

300
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,915
Why would you kill his fish?

301
00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:29,005
Because sometimes
after you sleep with someone...

302
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:31,591
...you have to kill a fish.

303
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,136
Chandler, honey...

304
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:36,512
...I'm sorry.

305
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:39,057
Can we watch Joey's show now, please?

306
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,100
- Yeah!
- Wait. He's not here yet.

307
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,603
He's on the show,
he knows what happens.

308
00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:47,231
I'm fine about my problem now,
by the way.

309
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:51,694
Amber...

310
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,739
...I want you to know
I'll always be there for you...

311
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,991
...as a friend and as your brother.

312
00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:59,243
Oh, Drake.

313
00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:01,245
DOCTOR:
Hard day, huh?

314
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:04,165
- First the medical award, now this?
- Yeah.

315
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:07,668
- Some guys are just lucky, I guess. Ha, ha.
- Ha-ha-ha.

316
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,504
WOMAN [OVER INTERCOM]:
Dr. Ramoray...

317
00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:12,381
...report to first floor Emergency stat.
- Hmm.

318
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,884
Well, then...

319
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,386
...l, uh, guess that's me.

320
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:23,226
Anyone else need to go on the elevator?
Dr. Horton? Dr. Wong?

321
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:26,479
No, no. They only said you.

322
00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:31,234
Oh, okay. All right.

323
00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:34,070
- I love you, Drake.
- Yeah, whatever.

324
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:38,074
- Oh, no!
AMBER: Drake, look out!

325
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:40,368
[YELLING]

326
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:45,039
- Did they just kill off Joey?
- No!

327
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:46,541
[THUD ON TV]

328
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:49,168
Now maybe.

329
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,295
[BANGING ON DOOR]

330
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:53,756
ROSS: Come on! Open up!
We want to talk to you!

331
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,424
I don't feel like talking!

332
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,426
RACHEL:
Come on! We care about you.

333
00:18:57,594 --> 00:19:01,889
CHANDLER: We're worried about you.
MONICA: And some of us have to pee!

334
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,562
I'm sorry, Joey.

335
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:13,151
Listen, sorry about your death.
That really sucks.

336
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:17,155
- We came over as soon as we saw.
- How could you not tell us?

337
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:21,117
I don't know. I was kind of hoping
no one would ever find out.

338
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:25,329
Well, maybe they could find
a way to bring you back.

339
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:31,002
No, they said that when they found
my body, my brain was so smashed in...

340
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:34,839
...that the only doctor
who could've saved me was me.

341
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,885
It's supposed to be
some kind of irony.

342
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,555
But Joey, you're gonna be fine.

343
00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:46,184
You don't need that show.
It was just a dumb soap opera.

344
00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:49,562
This was the greatest thing
that ever happened to me.

345
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:52,398
Yes! I was going to incorporate that.

346
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,986
Oh, good, here's Monica.
She'll have something nice to say.

347
00:19:58,405 --> 00:20:02,074
Um, I straightened out your shower curtain
so you won't get mildew.

348
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,119
What? To me, that's nice.

349
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,497
It's gonna be okay. You know that.

350
00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:10,750
No, I don't.

351
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:15,338
It's like you work
your whole life for something...

352
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,715
...and you think
that when you get it...

353
00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:20,301
...it'll never be
as good as you thought.

354
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:22,261
But this so was.

355
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:24,222
It changed everything.

356
00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:27,642
Like, the other day,
I got this credit card application...

357
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,186
...and I was pre-approved!

358
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:36,108
Huh? I've never been pre-approved
for anything in my life!

359
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:37,860
I'm sorry, man.

360
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:41,364
I don't know if this'll mean
anything to you...

361
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:44,200
...but you'll always be
pre-approved with us.

362
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,161
No, that means nothing to me.

363
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,000
Ahh!

364
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:56,254
Pecan sandy? Just made them.

365
00:20:57,881 --> 00:20:59,298
Yeah, all right.

366
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:02,593
Are these raisins?

367
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,220
Uh, sure, why not?

368
00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:13,813
Listen, Eddie. Um, ahem.

369
00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:17,858
I've been thinking about
our living situation and, uh...

370
00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:19,193
Why are you smiling?

371
00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:22,780
I got a little surprise.
Look. There's a new fishy.

372
00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:24,865
I named him, uh...

373
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:27,618
...Chandler, you know, after you.

374
00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:39,547
Well, that's not even a real fish.

375
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:43,301
No, that's a Goldfish cracker.

376
00:21:45,178 --> 00:21:46,846
So, what's your point, man?

377
00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:52,893
Okay, good night.

378
00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:56,230
You big freak of nature.

379
00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:14,206
- Aah.
- Hey.

380
00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:19,670
Hey.

381
00:22:19,963 --> 00:22:21,714
- Hey.
- Hey.

382
00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:25,217
- Whoo. Brisk tonight.
- Oh, man.

383
00:22:26,261 --> 00:22:28,763
- Let's never speak of this.
- You got it.

384
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:38,356
[English - US - SDH]