1
00:00:04,462 --> 00:00:06,171
Can I see the comics?

2
00:00:06,631 --> 00:00:08,257
This is the New York Times.

3
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,593
Okay, may I see the comics?

4
00:00:13,221 --> 00:00:15,764
I thought you were
taking Ross to the game.

5
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:19,268
- We are. He's meeting us here.
- No, Rachel's meeting us here.

6
00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:21,311
Come on.
They can be in the same room.

7
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:24,481
- You should've been there last night.
- What happened?

8
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,358
Ross was hanging out at our place.

9
00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:29,069
Rachel comes to borrow
moisturizer from Chandler...

10
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,279
Hey.

11
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,032
How hard is it to say "something"?

12
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:36,535
Rachel came over to borrow "something."

13
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:41,248
Anyway, her and Ross just started
yelling at each other.

14
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:44,918
Why was he yelling at her?
He slept with someone else.

15
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,421
He says they were on a break
when it happened...

16
00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:49,465
...so she should've
forgiven him by now.

17
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,718
He is so unreasonable. God.

18
00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:55,054
Although I understand what he means.

19
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,974
Oh, my God.
This is like 60 Minutes...

20
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:02,102
...when at first you're mad
at that pharmaceutical company...

21
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:03,270
...for making the drug.

22
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:06,148
And then, you just feel bad
for the people because...

23
00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:08,942
...they needed
to make their hair grow.

24
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,821
You know, this is like
when my parents got divorced.

25
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:16,200
I hope Ross doesn't try to kidnap me
after Cub Scouts.

26
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:22,247
I dreamed that Ross and Rachel
were still together.

27
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:24,416
And we were all
hanging out and happy.

28
00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:25,834
I had the same dream.

29
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:30,756
- And nobody slept with the Xerox girl.
- Oh, I had the opposite dream.

30
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:34,927
Maybe it's gonna be okay.
I mean, it's been a week.

31
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,805
It never takes me more than a week
to get over a relationship.

32
00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:41,141
It never takes you more than a shower
to get over a relationship.

33
00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:47,648
Let's go. Let's hit the road.
Let's get the show on it.

34
00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:48,899
Let me get coffee.

35
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:51,151
I know the best coffeehouse.
And it's close.

36
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:52,861
Closer than here?

37
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,823
Oh, look. I found coffee.

38
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:57,449
Okay, let's skedaddle.

39
00:01:57,659 --> 00:02:00,160
I'm not gonna drink
somebody's old coffee.

40
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,995
Okay, Your Highness.

41
00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:14,049
"Rachel, I'm really sorry."
"Okay, Ross. Wanna get back together?"

42
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,259
"Yeah, okay."

43
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,886
Did anyone else hear that?

44
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:15,944
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

45
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:19,448
- Is he here?
- No.

46
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:21,450
Here's your moisturizer.

47
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:24,786
Hi.

48
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:28,081
You guys are gonna love me.
Okay, check it out.

49
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,167
Thursday night, five tickets.

50
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:34,755
Calvin Klein lingerie show,
and you guys are coming with me.

51
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,177
I said that out loud, right?

52
00:03:40,678 --> 00:03:43,972
Yes, it's just that
we kind of already...

53
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,225
...made plans with Ross.

54
00:03:47,685 --> 00:03:50,604
RACHEL:
Oh. Well, okay.

55
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,189
Well, there you go.

56
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,775
It's just, he got this new
home-theater dealy...

57
00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:56,902
...and he wants us to check it out.

58
00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:58,779
He's excited about it too.

59
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:02,074
He even recorded showtimes
on his answering machine.

60
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,618
- We're sorry, honey.
RACHEL: Oh, it's okay.

61
00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:08,330
Rach, it's not that
we don't want to. Really.

62
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:11,959
Are we talking models
in their underwear?

63
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:13,669
And heels.

64
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:20,842
Ross did ask us first,
and we set that night aside.

65
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:24,429
Come on. If he asked you first,
it's only fair.

66
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:30,435
PHOEBE:
Oh, boy, do I feel bad.

67
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:32,312
MONICA:
Very bad.

68
00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:34,356
- Chandler, what are you doing?
- Chandler.

69
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,109
Oh, my God.

70
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,403
You're smoking again?

71
00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:42,322
Well, actually,
yesterday I was smoking again.

72
00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:43,865
Today I'm smoking, still.

73
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:48,620
Why would you start again
after chewing all that quitting gum?

74
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,540
This is just like
my parents' divorce...

75
00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:54,042
...which is when
I first started smoking.

76
00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:56,753
Weren't you 9?

77
00:04:58,756 --> 00:04:59,798
Yeah.

78
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:06,305
I'm telling you something,
that first smoke after naptime...

79
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,390
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

80
00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:10,684
That's great.
With my luck, that's him.

81
00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,311
Him? Ross?

82
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:16,189
No, "Hymn" 253:
"His Eyes Are on the Sparrow."

83
00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:22,571
When my parents got divorced, I started
using humor as a defense mechanism.

84
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:28,285
Hi. Uh, do you guys have
weekend plans?

85
00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:33,623
Because my sister says we can spend
the weekend at her cabin, skiing.

86
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:38,253
I'm asking you first, right?
I'm playing by the rules.

87
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:39,671
MONICA:
Absolutely.

88
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:42,841
Chandler. You're smoking?
What are you doing?

89
00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,344
Shut up.
You're not my real mom.

90
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:55,729
Could you close that window?
My nipples could cut glass.

91
00:05:58,941 --> 00:06:01,526
Really? Because mine
get me out of tickets.

92
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:09,284
Look, I just wanna say I really
appreciate you spending time with me.

93
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:13,622
It's been a hard time right now,
so I just want to say thanks.

94
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:17,000
Somebody else hug him.
I have to stay by the window.

95
00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:20,379
Oh, hey, hey.

96
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:24,341
How about this weekend, we have
a laser-disc marathon, okay?

97
00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:27,636
And maybe a tournament
on my new...

98
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:31,264
...dart board. What do you think?

99
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,892
[IN SCOTTISH ACCENT]
Two days of darts. It'll be great.

100
00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:37,270
It'll be great for next weekend.

101
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,147
This weekend, guys.

102
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,441
It'll be great for next weekend.

103
00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:44,319
[IN SCOTTISH ACCENT]
I mean, "lt'll be great."

104
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:48,490
What's going on?

105
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:53,745
We're, um, sort of invited to go skiing.
You know, Rachel's sister's cabin?

106
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,960
So, for the whole weekend?

107
00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:03,880
We're really sorry,
but she did ask us first.

108
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,343
That's okay. If you
all have to go away...

109
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:11,430
...for the first weekend I'm
alone by myself...

110
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:13,473
...then I totally understand.

111
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,268
I can stay. I'm gonna stay.

112
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:19,980
The last time I went,
I was afraid to leave the chair lift.

113
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:21,857
I just went round and round.

114
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:26,361
We need you to drive us there
in your grandmother's cab.

115
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:31,283
- But you know what? I'll stay.
- No, I'll stay. He's my brother.

116
00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:33,535
- What, a "pity stay"?
- No.

117
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,663
We're gonna have fun.

118
00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,999
We can make fudge.

119
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:42,544
Pity food?

120
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:46,465
You know what?
I don't need any of you to stay.

121
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:48,091
Nobody stays.

122
00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:50,927
Well, then I might as well
offer to stay.

123
00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,227
JOEY:
Hey...

124
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,813
Does anybody else feel bad about Ross?

125
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:03,273
You think he's still mad?

126
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:07,694
He's probably more mad since
you called him to borrow his goggles.

127
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,529
What? Mine aren't tinted.

128
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:13,867
Chandler.

129
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:15,243
What?

130
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,537
What does the sign say?

131
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,291
"Beam me up, Jesus."

132
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:23,585
The "No Smoking" sign.

133
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:26,505
There's no smoking
in my grandmother's cab.

134
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:30,050
Well, then I have to go
to the bathroom.

135
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:31,927
Oh, please.

136
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:35,055
No unscheduled stops.
You can go when we stop for gas.

137
00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:39,893
There's a rest stop right up there.
Come on, I really have to go.

138
00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:44,022
Oh, now I have to go.

139
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,448
CHANDLER:
Here we go.

140
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,283
CHANDLER: Brace yourself.
MONICA: What?

141
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:58,578
MONICA:
Okay. Ow.

142
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,920
- Aren't you gonna go?
- No, thanks.

143
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:09,839
Rachel never pees in public restrooms.

144
00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:12,592
They never have any paper in there.

145
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:15,679
So my rule is, "No tissue, no tushy."

146
00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:24,479
Well, if everybody's going...

147
00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:27,983
Don't close it.
The keys are in there.

148
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:29,568
Oh, no, no, no, no.

149
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,654
- What's going on?
- My lighter's in there.

150
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:42,372
Damn. The tailpipe's
not hot enough to light this.

151
00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:46,751
I can open this.
Anybody got a coat hanger?

152
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:47,961
Oh, I do.

153
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:51,715
No, I took it out of my shirt
when I put it on this morning.

154
00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:55,468
So if your parents hadn't divorced...

155
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:58,972
...you'd be able to answer a question
like a normal person?

156
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:04,227
Look, I just need a wire something
to jimmy it.

157
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,521
One of you give me
your bra underwire.

158
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:07,897
What?

159
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:11,276
Come on.
Who has the biggest boobs?

160
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:16,406
Whoever has the biggest boobs,
has the biggest bra and wire.

161
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,283
- No.
- It's too expensive.

162
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,953
To get back in the car,
we need that wire.

163
00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:23,413
Your call.

164
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,585
Monica's are the biggest.

165
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:35,258
These tiny little non-breasts?
Please. It's gotta be Rachel.

166
00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,428
No, mine are deceptively small.

167
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:42,432
I mean, I actually sometimes
stuff my bra.

168
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:46,519
Well, then your bra would
still be big.

169
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,189
No, I stuff outside the bra.

170
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,484
Ladies, let's just compromise, okay?

171
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:55,070
Phoebe, Rachel,
take off Monica's bra.

172
00:10:56,238 --> 00:10:57,989
All right, forget it, never mind.

173
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,116
- You can have mine.
MONICA: Thank you.

174
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:06,122
Chandler. What are you doing?
There's a trash can right there.

175
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:10,919
I thought if I littered, that crying
Indian might come by and save us.

176
00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:14,923
There.

177
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,885
Thank you, Phoebe.
That's very, very generous.

178
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,971
Now, let's decide
who has the nicest ass.

179
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,226
And there you go.

180
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:32,232
MONICA:
Chandler.

181
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:35,527
Well, at least let me smoke it
to the good part.

182
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,121
Oh, no.

183
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,958
- What's going on?
- What?

184
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,627
Yeah, this has happened before.

185
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:56,798
- So you know how to fix it?
- Yep. Put more gas in.

186
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:01,845
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

187
00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:07,642
Hi. What are you doing here?

188
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:10,186
I was wondering,
when you and I split up...

189
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:14,524
...did you get the tape that was
half the last episode of M.A.S. H...

190
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,943
...and half the hostages coming home?

191
00:12:18,362 --> 00:12:22,031
But now it's Susan and me in Mexico
and the hostages coming home.

192
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:23,533
Where's Ben?

193
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,993
- He's sleeping.
- Ah. Ooh.

194
00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:29,122
Is this a bad time?

195
00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:32,167
Yeah, actually.
Susan's gonna be here any minute.

196
00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:34,544
- It's kind of an anniversary.
- Oh.

197
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,172
I thought you guys
got married in January.

198
00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:39,090
A different kind of anniversary.

199
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,343
Oh.

200
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:45,638
So anyway...

201
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,807
Candles, champagne...

202
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,602
Yeah, anniversaries are great...

203
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:53,605
...because love lasts forever,
you know?

204
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,692
There's nothing like it
in this life. Money in the bank.

205
00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,694
So Rachel and I broke up.

206
00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:03,782
God, Ross, I am so sorry.

207
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:06,284
You know what?

208
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,578
I wanna talk about this so much...

209
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,080
...but when we can really get into it.

210
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,583
- You free for dinner tomorrow?
- I'd love that.

211
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:14,751
Me too.

212
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:18,588
I guess it all started
when Rachel got this new job.

213
00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:22,967
Triple A can pick us up.

214
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,136
What town are we near?

215
00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:27,514
Freemont. Westmont.

216
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,140
Uh, Westberg?

217
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:31,267
Why are you answering?

218
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,187
Do you know
what route we're on?

219
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:37,440
We are definitely on Route 27.

220
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,652
We are at a rest stop on Route 27...

221
00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:42,612
There is no Route 27.

222
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,365
- Either 93 or 76.
RACHEL: I don't know.

223
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:48,117
I always slept in the back
when we drove here.

224
00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:54,040
Can you just send someone up and down
76 and check every rest stop?

225
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:56,084
And also 93?

226
00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:58,670
Okay.

227
00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:00,171
No, they don't do that.

228
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,677
Somebody will come and save us.

229
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:09,264
Who? Have you seen a car
in the last hour and a half?

230
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:12,600
We should call Ross.
Maybe he can get a car to get us.

231
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,103
I am not getting in a car with Ross.

232
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,063
We will just have to...

233
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:18,231
...live here.

234
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,234
- But it's so cold.
- No.

235
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:24,904
I won't get in a car with him.
Think of something else.

236
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:26,656
Joey and Chandler are back.

237
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,203
- So the going-for-help went well?
- Oh, yeah.

238
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:36,541
Smokey Joe here got halfway
to the highway and collapsed.

239
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:39,043
I have the lung capacity
of a 2-year-old.

240
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,170
Then why are you smoking?

241
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:42,755
It's very unsettling.

242
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,845
Right? I mean,
it's pretty unbelievable.

243
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:52,682
They just took off
without even looking back.

244
00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:56,895
I don't need them.
I've got you guys now as friends.

245
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:58,229
You and Susan.

246
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,149
Susan will be so pleased.

247
00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:03,026
[PAGER BEEPS]

248
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:04,861
Seven-one-seven?

249
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,571
Where's 717?

250
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,409
You have more of these
for Susan, right?

251
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:13,119
No, but that's okay.

252
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,955
I'll just put out pickles
or something.

253
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,291
[PHONE RINGS]

254
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,045
- Ross, thank God.
ROSS: Pheebs?

255
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,755
Why are you whispering?

256
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,215
I ate a bug.

257
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:30,136
Hey, Rach. The tampons here
are only a penny.

258
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,013
Let's stock up.

259
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:37,393
We're out of gas and don't know where
we are, so we can't get a tow truck.

260
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:41,397
- Oh. Now you want a favor?
- Yes, please.

261
00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:44,108
I'm sorry your
car broke down, Pheebs...

262
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,570
...but I'm too busy with some of
my real friends right now.

263
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,573
But please call to let me know
you got home safely.

264
00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:52,659
Phoebe, hang on a second.

265
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,619
Take my car.
Get your friends.

266
00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:56,454
No, I won't pick them up.

267
00:15:56,705 --> 00:15:59,666
We both know you'll do it
because you're not a jerk.

268
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:02,877
So you can sulk here for half an hour,
then go get them...

269
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:06,047
...or save time and sulk in the car.
- Rachel doesn't...

270
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:08,466
I'm sorry Rachel dumped you for Mark...

271
00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:11,219
...and you're the innocent victim
in this.

272
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:14,263
But don't punish your friends
for what Rachel did.

273
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,892
Yeah, you're right.

274
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:21,229
Phoebe, hang on.
Ross wants to say something.

275
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:24,148
What? You slept with someone else?

276
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,777
We were on a break.

277
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:31,280
We were... Yeah.

278
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:34,575
Where are you? I'll find you.

279
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,285
You slept with another woman?

280
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:39,122
Oh, you're one to talk.

281
00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:45,211
Okay, done.

282
00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:48,506
What's "pleh"?

283
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,884
That's "help" spelled backwards...

284
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:55,221
...so that the helicopters can read it
from the air.

285
00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:59,809
Ha. What's "dufus" spelled backwards?

286
00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,479
RACHEL:
Car. Car.

287
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:09,777
Oh, it's Ross on one of his drives.

288
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,029
Hey.

289
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:13,531
What is he doing here?

290
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,658
He is saving your butt.

291
00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:18,036
Unless I'm stepping on
some toes here...

292
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:20,079
...in which case,
I could just mosey on.

293
00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:22,790
I have plenty of people to help
on the interstate.

294
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,376
JOEY: Come on.
MONICA: We need your help, please.

295
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:27,545
RACHEL:
Fine. Fine.

296
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:30,840
[JOEY YELLS]

297
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:35,053
Oh, no. Now it's
not gonna make any sense.

298
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,014
You guys...

299
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:41,517
...what do we do about Ross?
He drove all the way up here.

300
00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:44,020
Just send him back,
then we'll go skiing?

301
00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:47,148
This is horrible.
It's just horrible.

302
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,942
Should we ask Ross to come along?

303
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:53,237
But what about Rachel?
How are we gonna even ask her?

304
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,073
Ask me what?

305
00:17:57,826 --> 00:18:00,661
If, uh, it might be okay if
Ross came skiing?

306
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:03,623
ALL:
No, I wasn't gonna ask that.

307
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:08,753
You guys are unbelievable.
No, he cannot come.

308
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:11,130
- Excuse me?
CHANDLER: It's horrible.

309
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:16,594
Oh, please? Can't I come
to your special, magical cabin?

310
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:20,515
Why would you even want to come?
You're a horrible skier.

311
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:23,559
Oh. Hitting me where it hurts.
My ski skills.

312
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:25,770
Here we go again.

313
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,605
I can't handle this, you guys.

314
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:30,024
I can handle it.
"Handle" is my middle name.

315
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:33,861
Actually, it's the middle part
of my first name.

316
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,657
All right, Pheebs, your cab's ready.

317
00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:38,866
Let's go.

318
00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:40,576
You're welcome.

319
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:44,497
I'm sorry. Were you speaking
to me, or sleeping with someone else?

320
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,083
We were on a break.

321
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:50,878
Why don't you just put that
on your answering machine?

322
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,881
It's valid, and I'm not the only one
who thinks so.

323
00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:55,299
Monica agrees with me.

324
00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:57,093
What?

325
00:18:58,053 --> 00:18:59,387
I don't know.

326
00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:02,098
You said it last night.

327
00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:05,768
What I said
was that I understood.

328
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,771
Joey is the one who agreed with you.

329
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:10,690
Really, Joey?

330
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:13,276
What?

331
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,488
You know what?
There is no right or wrong here.

332
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:20,199
I think it's very obvious
who's wrong here.

333
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:22,451
Obviously not to Joey.

334
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,205
What?

335
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:31,294
ROSS: Joey and Monica feel like I do.
RACHEL: You and this innocent act.

336
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,338
Hey, guess who I am?

337
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,636
[ARGUING]

338
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,973
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey.

339
00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:47,059
Look what you're doing to Chandler.

340
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:54,358
Look. We know that this is
really, really hard for you guys.

341
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,361
You don't have to love each other.

342
00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:01,240
You don't even have to like
each other much right now.

343
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:04,285
But please find a way
to be around each other.

344
00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:07,121
And not put us in the middle.

345
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:12,335
Otherwise, I mean, that's just it
for us hanging out together.

346
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,587
Is that what you want?

347
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:18,132
Can you be civil?

348
00:20:20,093 --> 00:20:22,511
- Yeah.
- I can.

349
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,682
Good, let's get back in the car.
It's freezing...

350
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,726
...and my chest is unsupported.

351
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:30,895
Wait a second.

352
00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:33,940
I mean, what are we doing?
Who's going with who?

353
00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:40,696
Look, you guys should go.

354
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:44,200
You know,
you planned this all out...

355
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:48,412
...and I don't wanna ruin it.
So just go.

356
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:50,706
- You drove all the way up here.
- No, no, no.

357
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:53,209
I've gotta take
the car back anyway.

358
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,670
I'm spending all day
tomorrow with Ben.

359
00:20:55,879 --> 00:21:00,049
It's fine, okay? Just go.
No guilt, I promise.

360
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:02,969
Thank you.

361
00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:07,181
MONICA:
We'll call you when we get back.

362
00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:11,060
Maybe we can, like,
go to a movie or something.

363
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,770
Or the rodeo.

364
00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:16,607
- That would be great.
- Okay.

365
00:21:17,901 --> 00:21:21,070
I was being Shelley Winters
from The Poseidon Adventure.

366
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,156
I know.

367
00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:33,874
PHOEBE:
Bye.

368
00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:38,546
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

369
00:21:44,177 --> 00:21:46,387
[HORN HONKS]

370
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,060
[DOORBELL RINGING]

371
00:21:58,608 --> 00:22:00,735
- Ross.
- Hi. Sorry I'm late.

372
00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:03,446
- Were you sleeping?
- Uh, no.

373
00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:04,989
Oh, great.

374
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:09,452
I had to get you a new battery.
I got the best I could.

375
00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:11,495
You don't want to skimp there.

376
00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:12,830
You're a genius.

377
00:22:13,081 --> 00:22:14,540
It came to about $112.

378
00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:17,168
But what the hell,
call it an even 110?

379
00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:20,629
I'll pay you tomorrow. Bye.

380
00:22:20,839 --> 00:22:23,299
So they, uh, all took off.

381
00:22:23,550 --> 00:22:26,635
It was pretty hard
watching them go, you know?

382
00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:28,471
Yeah, okay. Bye.

383
00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:34,769
ROSS:
So I'm gonna take off then.

384
00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:44,195
[English - US - SDH]