1 00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:06,099 I think I'll go with the chicken piccata instead of the Cornish game hen. 2 00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:08,968 Will there be a vegetarian option, you know, for me? 3 00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:10,674 Yes. Definitely. 4 00:00:10,877 --> 00:00:11,775 What is it? 5 00:00:12,278 --> 00:00:13,302 Dancing. 6 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,176 - Hey. - Hey. 7 00:00:17,384 --> 00:00:19,750 I saw the Porsche parked out front. 8 00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:23,286 Can I get the keys? Thought I'd take that bad boy for a spin. 9 00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:28,189 Ross drives it? When I ask, you say you're the only one allowed to drive it. 10 00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:31,660 He's my brother, plus he drives so slow he could never hurt it. 11 00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:34,492 It's a car, Monica, not a rocket ship. 12 00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:38,935 Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after you're done. 13 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,171 - Hey. - Hi. 14 00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:46,573 Saw the Porsche. Looking good. When can I take it out again? 15 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:53,982 - You let Joey drive it? - I've never driven it. Not once. 16 00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:57,020 Okay, once. Okay, I drive it all the time. 17 00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:03,259 So much for the "you-can-drive-it but-don't-tell-Rachel" plan. 18 00:01:04,497 --> 00:01:06,328 Wow, I can't believe you lied to me. 19 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:11,300 I can fix this. Monica, Rachel thinks all you talk about is the wedding. 20 00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:17,270 There. I've blown both your secrets. Now we're even. 21 00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:23,540 I won't let you drive the Porsche because you're a terrible driver. 22 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,082 There. That wasn't about the wedding. 23 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:32,248 If you want a ride in the Porsche, I'll take you around the block. 24 00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:33,891 You got a couple hours? 25 00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:39,621 The One With Chandler's Dad 26 00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:14,391 Whew, that was a brisk ride. 27 00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:19,828 - Take the top down, did you? - Only way to fly. 28 00:02:20,039 --> 00:02:24,533 Give me the keys. Monica's wrong. I'm an excellent driver. 29 00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:28,646 You're fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver. 30 00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:32,215 In high school, that added up to head cheerleader. 31 00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:39,488 Did you see the look that girl just gave me? 32 00:02:39,859 --> 00:02:42,327 She must've seen me cruising in the bad boy. 33 00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:45,794 - She's checking out your beehive. - What? 34 00:02:46,799 --> 00:02:48,699 - Give me a brush. - The keys. 35 00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,425 - No way! - Well, no brush. 36 00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:52,366 Fine. It doesn't matter. 37 00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:57,168 If I remember correctly, there's a comb on the floor of the bathroom. 38 00:03:12,825 --> 00:03:13,723 Alimony. 39 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:21,061 We still haven't gotten an RSVP from your dad. 40 00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:25,601 Oh, right. Maybe that's because I didn't send him an invitation. 41 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:27,270 Why not? 42 00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:31,068 An invitation? That's like almost asking him to come. 43 00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:35,106 He's your father. He should be at our wedding. 44 00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:37,943 I was gonna send him an invite but then I saw the stamp. 45 00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:41,642 It was one of those Marilyn Monroe stamps and I thought: 46 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,118 My dad has that dress. 47 00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:48,821 Wow. That must be a very different view when he stands over an air vent. 48 00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:52,859 You should see him singing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President." 49 00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:54,963 We have to invite him. 50 00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:58,968 I don't even know the man. I haven't seen him in years. 51 00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:01,572 And when he finds out he wasn't asked? 52 00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:04,038 We don't run in the same circles. 53 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:07,008 I hang out with you guys and he... 54 00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:09,713 ...stars in a drag show in Vegas. 55 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,145 I think I want to trade circles. 56 00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:16,253 You don't want him there. Nobody will stare at the bride... 57 00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:19,652 ...when the father of the groom is wearing a backless dress. 58 00:04:19,859 --> 00:04:24,296 So what? As long as he's not wearing a white dress and veil, I don't care. 59 00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:26,863 I think I need to do some shopping. 60 00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:36,073 Nice. 61 00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:39,337 My God! 62 00:04:40,913 --> 00:04:44,713 - What do you think you're doing? - Just washing the windshield. 63 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:52,253 There's no way I'll let you drive this car. 64 00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:55,188 - Couldn't find the comb? - No. 65 00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:57,192 Why don't you just hand over the keys. 66 00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:58,760 Oh! 67 00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:01,898 Do not start this car. 68 00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:07,734 Okay, okay. I will give you 20 bucks... 69 00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:11,171 ...if you get out of this car right now. Hey! 70 00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:14,305 Look. 71 00:05:14,547 --> 00:05:16,947 If you're so freaked out, just get in the car. 72 00:05:17,183 --> 00:05:18,741 With you? Yeah, right. 73 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,077 All right. 74 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,947 Okay, okay, okay. 75 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:29,723 - What are you doing? Get in the front. - In the death seat?! 76 00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:37,763 - Hey, guys. - Hi, sweetie. 77 00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:41,235 - Ready to go? - My purse is at Monica's. I'll be back. 78 00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:43,136 - Wait a minute. - What? Oh. 79 00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,115 That one kept going. 80 00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:57,852 So, you and Phoebe, huh? 81 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,753 - How long have you been going out? - Over a month. 82 00:06:00,993 --> 00:06:03,325 We ought to get to know each other better. 83 00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:06,930 - Sure. I'd like that. - Yeah. So, uh... 84 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,495 What's your name? 85 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,429 - It's Jake. - Joey. 86 00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:16,701 - Do you like the Knicks? - Yeah, big fan. 87 00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:20,208 Me too. There's a game on Tuesday. Do you want to go? 88 00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:23,938 Great! Let me make sure I'm not doing anything Tuesday. 89 00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:32,986 Here. 90 00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:36,787 - What's this? - Your suitcase. We're going to Vegas. 91 00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:40,022 Are you serious? Eloping? No more stupid wedding stuff. 92 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:44,431 No more these flowers, these flowers. Think of the money we'll save. 93 00:06:44,637 --> 00:06:48,334 We're not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger, please? 94 00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,136 We're going to see your dad. 95 00:06:51,377 --> 00:06:53,709 I want to get to know my father-in-law. 96 00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:56,005 We already went over this and I won. 97 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,979 No, you didn't. Honey, just so you know... 98 00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:02,552 Now that you're marrying me, you don't get to win anymore. 99 00:07:03,389 --> 00:07:06,847 Forget it. I don't want to go. I don't want to see him. 100 00:07:07,393 --> 00:07:09,588 I know your dad embarrassed you. 101 00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:12,230 All kids are embarrassed by their parents. 102 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,560 You'd have to come up with a new word for what I went through. 103 00:07:16,235 --> 00:07:18,863 In high school, he came to all my swim meets... 104 00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:21,733 ...dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. 105 00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:23,168 It's hard enough to be 14. 106 00:07:23,409 --> 00:07:28,039 You're skinny, you're wearing Speedos that your mom promised you'd grow into. 107 00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:32,849 You look up in the stands. There's your dad cheering you on. 108 00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:36,783 Dressed as Carmen Miranda, wearing a headdress with real fruit... 109 00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:41,221 ...that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack. 110 00:07:42,061 --> 00:07:43,494 But he was there! 111 00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:46,529 My dad didn't come to one of my Brownie meetings. 112 00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:48,224 You were a Brownie? 113 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:50,226 No. I ate them. 114 00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:56,503 The point is, he was at every one of your swim meets, cheering you on. 115 00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:58,539 That's a pretty great dad. 116 00:07:58,744 --> 00:08:00,575 He had sex with Mr. Garibaldi. 117 00:08:01,013 --> 00:08:03,914 - Who's Mr. Garibaldi? - Does it matter?! 118 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:11,613 You're not 14 anymore, okay? Maybe it's time you let that stuff go. 119 00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:17,823 If he's not at your wedding, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. 120 00:08:20,099 --> 00:08:22,761 Okay, but I'm just doing this for you. 121 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:29,104 - So I never get to win anymore? - How much did you ever win before? 122 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:38,613 You know how when you're wearing pants and you lean forward... 123 00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:40,945 ...I check out your underwear? 124 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,283 Well, when Jake did it... 125 00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:47,755 ...I saw that he was wearing women's underwear. 126 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,621 I know. They were mine. 127 00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:51,761 Oh! 128 00:08:53,065 --> 00:08:55,329 No, no, wait. That's weird. 129 00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:59,199 We were goofing around, and I dared him to try them on. 130 00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:00,703 That's weird! 131 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:04,569 - I'm wearing his briefs right now. - That's kind of hot. 132 00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:10,077 I think so too. And that little flap? It's great for holding my lipstick. 133 00:09:15,421 --> 00:09:17,116 I wouldn't know about that. 134 00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:22,652 Jake says that women's underwear is actually more comfortable. 135 00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:25,592 He loves how silk feels against his skin. 136 00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:29,529 Next he'll say your high heels are good for his posture. 137 00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:33,633 There's nothing wrong with Jake. He is all man. 138 00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:35,272 I think more than you. 139 00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:39,137 He looked like a real lumberjack in those pink lacies. 140 00:09:40,446 --> 00:09:44,177 I'm just saying only a man completely secure in his masculinity... 141 00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:47,546 ...could wear women's underwear. I don't think you could. 142 00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:51,553 - I am secure with my masculinity. - Okay, whatever. 143 00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:54,248 You've seen my huge stack of porn, right? 144 00:09:57,496 --> 00:09:59,088 Here you go. 145 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,928 Look all you want. There's nothing there. 146 00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:15,147 Slow down, or I am returning to the back seat. 147 00:10:16,048 --> 00:10:17,675 Would you calm down? 148 00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:20,784 No! You're driving 15 miles over the speed limit. 149 00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:25,389 I'm driving 5 miles over the limit. They raised it by 10. 150 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,983 What, are they crazy?! 151 00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:35,730 God, I forgot how much I love driving. 152 00:10:36,335 --> 00:10:38,530 I have got to get my license renewed. 153 00:10:41,507 --> 00:10:45,375 You don't have a valid driver's license? Pull over right now. 154 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:49,241 Ross, you're so tense. You just gotta relax, okay? 155 00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:53,407 Just need to relax. All right? Just need to relax. 156 00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:57,244 What are you...? That's not funny. Stop horsing around. 157 00:10:57,456 --> 00:10:59,754 I am not horsing around, okay? 158 00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:02,928 I am "Porsche-ing" around. 159 00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:08,859 Uh-oh. 160 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:14,636 Stay calm. Nothing will happen. You're not in that much trouble. 161 00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:16,132 Really? You think so? 162 00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,006 I was talking to myself. You're going down! 163 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:02,678 Has someone taken your order? 164 00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:06,221 Oh, yeah. She did. He did. She? 165 00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:08,154 I'm sorry, I'm new. I don't... 166 00:12:10,362 --> 00:12:13,422 - I just ordered a beer. - You're straight. I get it. 167 00:12:16,268 --> 00:12:18,395 If we called your dad, we'd have better seats. 168 00:12:18,604 --> 00:12:22,199 I don't want him to know we're here yet. I'm not ready for that. 169 00:12:22,374 --> 00:12:25,036 Besides, he won't be too happy to see me either. 170 00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:26,576 Why not? 171 00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,744 I don't know if I told you... 172 00:12:28,981 --> 00:12:32,974 ...but he's kind of tried to contact me a lot the last few years. 173 00:12:33,185 --> 00:12:34,117 What? 174 00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:37,288 Yeah. He's made phone calls, written letters. 175 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:40,948 He came to New York. But I always said I was too busy. 176 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:44,129 It's very "Cats in the Cradle." I don't want to get into it. 177 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,361 Here we go. 178 00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:51,968 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome the incomparable... 179 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:54,163 ...Helena Handbasket. 180 00:12:58,244 --> 00:12:59,836 Hello, darlings. 181 00:13:00,045 --> 00:13:01,910 And there's Daddy. 182 00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:11,314 Switch places with me. Come on! I'll go under, you go over. 183 00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:14,322 - Yeah, I'll get right on that. - Come on! 184 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,358 - What? No. Hey, Rach, come on. - Come on! 185 00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:19,554 I'm sure we won't get arrested for this. 186 00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:22,826 God! 187 00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:29,708 Hi, officer. Was I going a little too fast? 188 00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,432 Oh, my God. 189 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:35,303 - Can I see your license, please? - Absolutely. 190 00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:40,713 It's weird. I had a dream last night that I was stopped by a policeman. 191 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,080 And then he... 192 00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:45,519 Well, I probably shouldn't tell you the rest. 193 00:13:46,258 --> 00:13:47,782 He gave you a big... 194 00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:48,925 ...fat... 195 00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:50,287 ...ticket? 196 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:57,364 - Your license. - Yes. Here you go, Officer... 197 00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:58,798 ...Handsome. 198 00:13:59,538 --> 00:14:02,871 - It's Hanson. - Oops, sorry. My mistake. 199 00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:04,632 Dear Lord! 200 00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:07,976 - Wow! - Here it comes. 201 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:09,972 This is a great picture. 202 00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:15,253 Really? You think so? You know, I had just rolled right out of bed. 203 00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:16,443 You look phenomenal. 204 00:14:16,655 --> 00:14:19,419 She should! It was taken 10 years ago! 205 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:26,992 You know, you're probably wondering about the old date. 206 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,997 Yes, I am. You're an Aquarius, huh? 207 00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:33,932 - I'll bet you're a Gemini. - No. 208 00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:35,265 - Taurus? - No. 209 00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:37,238 - Virgo? - No. 210 00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,334 - Sagittarius? - Yep. 211 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:41,843 I knew it. I knew it! 212 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,948 - You won't speed anymore, right? - I won't speed. 213 00:14:45,150 --> 00:14:47,675 - And you promise to take care of this? - I promise. 214 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,378 In the meantime, let him drive. Does he have a license? 215 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,989 - Can he handle a stick? - Well... 216 00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:55,557 I can handle a stick! 217 00:15:10,175 --> 00:15:14,271 - That can't be your father. - I've been saying that for years. 218 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,471 - Oh, my God! - What? 219 00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:19,047 That's Mr. Garibaldi playing the piano. 220 00:15:32,564 --> 00:15:35,226 Hello, and welcome to the show. 221 00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:39,064 I see some of our regulars in the audience. 222 00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:42,431 And a couple of irregulars. 223 00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:48,409 - He's coming into the audience. - Relax. You'll be fine. 224 00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:51,480 Oh, much better. You're invisible now. 225 00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:54,744 - Where are you from? - Bakersfield. 226 00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:56,920 - I'm sorry? - Bakersfield. 227 00:15:57,489 --> 00:16:00,049 No, no, I heard. I'm just sorry. 228 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:04,660 It can't happen like this. I'll meet you back at the hotel. 229 00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:09,262 Look, a standing ovation already. So early in the show. 230 00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:13,097 Turn around, darling. Let me see your pretty face. 231 00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:24,774 Can we have our drinks, please? Waiter?...tress? 232 00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:38,195 - Hey, Pheebs. - Hey. 233 00:16:40,532 --> 00:16:41,897 Check it out. 234 00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:49,063 How much of a man am I? 235 00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:53,711 Wow, nice. Manly, and also kind of a slut. 236 00:16:54,913 --> 00:16:58,246 I'm beginning to see what Jake was talking about. 237 00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:00,418 The silk feels really good. 238 00:17:01,286 --> 00:17:05,780 And things aren't as smashed down as I thought they would be. 239 00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:07,116 That's great. 240 00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:10,056 You have so many more choices than with men's underwear. 241 00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:15,256 Bikini, French cut, thong. And the fabrics: Cotton, silk, lace. 242 00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:18,937 You know what I've always wondered about? Pantyhose! 243 00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:23,164 The way they start at your toe, then they go all the way up to... 244 00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:30,475 - I should go take these off, shouldn't I? - I think it's important you do. 245 00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:33,576 What's your name? 246 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:37,586 Chandler. 247 00:17:38,957 --> 00:17:39,924 Chandler? 248 00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:42,255 What an unusual name. 249 00:17:42,594 --> 00:17:45,654 You must have had terribly fascinating parents. 250 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,726 Oh, they're a hoot. 251 00:17:49,868 --> 00:17:51,495 And who is your friend? 252 00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:54,131 I'm Monica. 253 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:58,031 - Monica. Where are you from? - New York. 254 00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:01,175 I'm not very fond of New York. 255 00:18:01,346 --> 00:18:03,405 Queens, I like. 256 00:18:05,217 --> 00:18:07,117 What is this... 257 00:18:07,352 --> 00:18:11,152 ...sparkling something, honey, huh? 258 00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:15,188 Actually, Monica and I are engaged. 259 00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:17,793 Really? 260 00:18:18,464 --> 00:18:20,455 Congratulations. 261 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:22,963 When's the big day? 262 00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:26,364 In two weeks. 263 00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:28,870 I see. 264 00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:34,675 Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness. 265 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,305 So, you're bald. 266 00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:38,713 Wait, wait. 267 00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:44,385 We'd love it if you could be there. 268 00:18:46,658 --> 00:18:47,989 Really? 269 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,854 I know it would make me happy... 270 00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:54,493 ...ma'am. 271 00:18:57,169 --> 00:18:59,501 Then I wouldn't miss it for the world. 272 00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:03,602 I'm getting all misty here. 273 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:07,506 You'd think I was having my legs waxed or something. 274 00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:13,349 - You okay? - Yeah. 275 00:19:13,852 --> 00:19:16,150 Thanks for making me do this. 276 00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:20,848 Before we go on with the show, I want to say to the bride and groom... 277 00:19:21,059 --> 00:19:23,789 ...how lucky they are to have found each other. 278 00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:27,323 In every life a little rain must fall. 279 00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:29,000 Fortunately... 280 00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:30,964 ...in my life... 281 00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:48,416 When I was growing up, I played the one on the far left. 282 00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,428 I think you've had enough fun for today. 283 00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:01,423 Remind me to introduce you to someone. 284 00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:02,964 - Who? - Fourth gear. 285 00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:09,936 What does he want? I wasn't doing anything. 286 00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:14,568 Maybe he saw your hands slip briefly from the 10 and 2:00 position. 287 00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:21,078 Maybe it's Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more. 288 00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:25,751 Perhaps he didn't tarnish the badge enough. 289 00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:29,026 It's a different guy. 290 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:35,264 - Good evening, officer. - Do you know how fast you were going? 291 00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:39,028 No, I don't, but it couldn't have been more than 60. 292 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,933 You're right. It was 37. 293 00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:47,073 Really? 294 00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:50,611 - Can I see your license, please? - You're kidding. 295 00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:54,114 You're not gonna give me a ticket for driving too slow, are you? 296 00:20:54,486 --> 00:20:55,953 That's right. 297 00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:01,684 You wanna help me out here? 298 00:21:02,227 --> 00:21:03,251 I'm sorry, what? 299 00:21:04,329 --> 00:21:08,732 Can you do your little thing that you did before? 300 00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:10,829 I don't think so. 301 00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:14,563 I don't think I want to tarnish his badge. 302 00:21:22,648 --> 00:21:24,616 You know, officer... 303 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:28,218 I had the weirdest dream last night. 304 00:21:28,420 --> 00:21:30,081 Oh, my God! 305 00:21:30,989 --> 00:21:32,251 Your license, please. 306 00:21:34,059 --> 00:21:37,256 You don't want to hear about my dream... 307 00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:38,929 ...Officer... 308 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,496 ...Pretty? 309 00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:45,235 It's Petty. 310 00:21:46,938 --> 00:21:49,133 I'll be right back with your ticket. 311 00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:54,539 - You have a son. - I know. I know. 312 00:21:59,584 --> 00:22:02,382 - You feel better? - Yeah. Much. 313 00:22:03,088 --> 00:22:04,248 Listen... 314 00:22:04,690 --> 00:22:08,353 Not that I'm insecure about my manhood or anything... 315 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:12,519 ...but I think I need to hook up with a woman right now. 316 00:22:13,031 --> 00:22:14,225 I understand. 317 00:22:22,407 --> 00:22:24,739 You look familiar. Do I know you? 318 00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:26,202 I don't think so. 319 00:22:26,411 --> 00:22:28,743 Maybe it's because I'm on television. 320 00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:34,511 - I'm an actor on Days of our Lives. - Wow. Really? 321 00:22:34,753 --> 00:22:37,415 - $4.50, please. - Oh, let me get this. 322 00:22:47,799 --> 00:22:49,061 These are for you.