1
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:06,839
Hey, Rach, listen.
Did you know that during pregnancy...

2
00:00:07,048 --> 00:00:11,093
...your fingers swell up to twice
their size and never go back?

3
00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:15,139
Oh, my God. Let me see that.

4
00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:16,390
[LAUGHS]

5
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:18,559
You fall for it every time.

6
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:23,313
Hey. Look, I brought you
my old maternity clothes.

7
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:28,485
Oh, Pheebs, that's so sweet.
Oh, those are so cute.

8
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:32,906
And look. See how they expand
as the baby grows?

9
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:38,412
And then after the baby's born,
they're great for shoplifting melons.

10
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:43,792
Oh, good, you're all here.
Okay, Thanksgiving tomorrow, 4:00.

11
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:48,338
Oh. And guess who I invited? Remember
that guy Will Culvert from high school?

12
00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:51,300
- No.
- He was in Ross' class.

13
00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:56,180
Marching band, was kind of overweight.
Well, really overweight.

14
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,015
I mean, I was his thin friend.

15
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,935
Wow, I don't remember him.

16
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,688
Are you sure you're not talking about
your imaginary boyfriend?

17
00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:07,608
No, that was Jared.

18
00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:12,821
Wow. Haven't thought about him
in a long time.

19
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,076
Anyway, um, Will's here on business...

20
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,536
...and he didn't have a place to go
so I invited him here.

21
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:20,788
Oh, that's nice.

22
00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:22,706
Oh, by the way,
he's lost a bunch of weight.

23
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:27,836
I mean, he looks good.
Okay, I mean really, really gorgeous.

24
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,171
[CLEARS THROAT]

25
00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:35,803
- I still love Chandler.
- Wouldn't hurt you to say it once in a while.

26
00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:41,975
Okay, also, just so you know,
I'm not gonna make a turkey this year.

27
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,895
- What?
- Well, Phoebe doesn't eat turkey.

28
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:49,566
- Phoebe.
- Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals.

29
00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:52,945
No, they're not.
They're ugly and stupid and delicious.

30
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,658
All right, it's not just Phoebe.
Will's still on a diet...

31
00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,535
...Chandler doesn't eat
Thanksgiving food...

32
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,745
...and Rachel's having
her aversion to poultry.

33
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:02,955
She is?

34
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,041
Yeah, remember I had to leave
the other day when you had that chicken?

35
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,836
I thought that was just because
I put the whole thing on my hand...

36
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:10,879
...and made it walk across the table.

37
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,967
It just doesn't seem worth it to make
a whole turkey for three people.

38
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,010
It's a lot of work.

39
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,555
But you gotta have turkey
on Thanksgiving.

40
00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:24,685
I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey
is like Fourth of July with no apple pie.

41
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:28,105
Or Friday with no two pizzas.

42
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:32,734
All right, fine, if it means that much to you,
but there's gonna be a ton left over.

43
00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:35,487
No, there won't.
I promise I will finish that turkey.

44
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:39,616
All right, you're telling me you can eat
almost an entire turkey in one sitting?

45
00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:45,789
That's right. Because I'm a Tribbiani.
This is what we do.

46
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:50,002
We may not be great thinkers
or world leaders.

47
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:54,965
We don't read a lot or run very fast,
but damn it, we can eat.

48
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:35,047
ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:
Four wide receivers. On third and 18.

49
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:38,091
Hey, isn't it weird to think about
how next year at this time...

50
00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:40,552
...there'll be a little baby at the table?

51
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,099
Rachel's.
But good to know where you're at.

52
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,645
- Hey.
MONICA: Hey.

53
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,813
- Happy Thanksgiving.
- You too.

54
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,899
- Anything I can do to help?
- Actually, there is.

55
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:57,194
Chandler usually helps but he's into
the game so I don't wanna bother him.

56
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,780
- Could you help me fold these napkins?
- Sure.

57
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,907
I'm gonna go across the hall
to check on the yams.

58
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:06,286
- Okay.
- No, no, no, sweetie. No, not like that.

59
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,747
We're not at a barn dance.

60
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:13,627
You wanna fold them like swans.
Like I showed you at Christmas, remember?

61
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,879
Yeah, it all just came
screaming back to me.

62
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:23,178
- So how's the game?
- I have no idea.

63
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:24,388
What?

64
00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:28,392
Yeah, I'm just pretending to watch the game
so I don't have to help out with stuff.

65
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:33,647
I don't believe you. That is brilliant.

66
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,651
- And Monica has no idea?
- Nope.

67
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:41,196
Every once in a while
I just yell and scream stuff at the TV.

68
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,658
Hey, what...? Hey!

69
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:49,454
- Is your team winning, hon?
- Oh, yeah. Anderson just scored again.

70
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:51,957
There's no Anderson.

71
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,921
Oh, I wanna get in on this. Hey, Mon?

72
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,591
I don't think I can't help you after all.
I didn't realize this game was on.

73
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:05,095
- Oh. I didn't know you liked football.
- Well, normally, I don't.

74
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:09,725
But, you know, Green Bay is playing.

75
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:13,186
- You like Green Bay?
- Well, it's only like my favorite bay.

76
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,399
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

77
00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:22,821
- Hey.
- Hey.

78
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,868
- Happy Thanksgiving.
- Aw, thanks.

79
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:31,163
God, Will, I'm so glad that you came.
You just... You look great.

80
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,372
You must've lost like...

81
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,082
A hundred and fifty pounds.

82
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:37,210
Yeah, I'm gonna be in one of those
Subway sandwich commercials.

83
00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:43,592
- A pie.
- Right. Uh, it's no fat, no sugar, no dairy.

84
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:47,346
- It's no good. Throw it out.
- You wanna meet some people?

85
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,557
This is, uh, my husband, Chandler.
Chandler, this is Will.

86
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:54,144
Oh, hey. I'd shake your hand but, uh,
I'm really into the game.

87
00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:59,691
Plus, I think it'd be better for my ego
if we didn't stand right next to each other.

88
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,112
- This is Phoebe.
- Hi.

89
00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:07,657
Hey. Wow.

90
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,371
Well done.

91
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,581
- Wanna give me a hand?
- Sure.

92
00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:18,251
Monica, I can't get over how great
you look. You look stunning.

93
00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:23,673
- You look incredible too. You're just so fit.
- I'm watching the game but I'm not deaf.

94
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:27,010
Oh, um, I meant to tell you,
Ross is coming.

95
00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,429
Ross is coming. Great, I love Ross.

96
00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:31,181
Well, good. And Rachel Green too.

97
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:34,101
Oh.

98
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:39,231
- Is there a problem?
- Nope. Uh, it's okay.

99
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,816
It's just, uh...

100
00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:43,026
God, I hated her.

101
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,779
- What?
- I hated her.

102
00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:48,865
She was horrible to me in high school.

103
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:52,369
But hey, that was a long time ago.
I'm in a good place.

104
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:55,205
It might be actually fun to see her again.

105
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:58,542
Got any cakes or cookies or something?

106
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:03,088
No, Will. No.

107
00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:06,550
You know, it's been a while since we
screamed something. Maybe we should.

108
00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:09,553
- Oh, okay. No!
- Oh, come on!

109
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:13,098
Damn you, ref. You burn in hell!

110
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,604
Hey, what are you doing?
You gotta save room.

111
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,648
You've got almost an entire turkey to eat.

112
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,817
Let me explain to you
how the human body works.

113
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,029
I have to warm up my stomach first.

114
00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:32,367
- Eating chips is like stretching.
- Okay.

115
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,912
- Don't worry, Tribbianis never get full.
- I actually know what you're talking about.

116
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,539
And I'm here to tell you something.

117
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,667
You can eat and eat and eat,
but nothing will ever fill that void.

118
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:47,382
- Who the hell is this guy?
- This is Will, from high school.

119
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:48,675
- Oh, hey.
- Hello.

120
00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,136
- Will.
WILL: Ross.

121
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:57,267
Hey, you came.
Man, you look incredible. Hot stuff.

122
00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:01,605
- Hot stuff?
- It's good to see you, man.

123
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:04,649
Yeah, you too.
Man, so, what are you up to?

124
00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:09,154
- I'm a commodities broker.
- Really? That sounds interesting.

125
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,948
- Yeah, it's not.
- Oh.

126
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,784
- But I'm rich and thin.
- Oh, hey.

127
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:20,207
Man, I don't think I've seen you since, uh,
Lance Davis' graduation party.

128
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:22,167
- That was such a fun night.
- Yeah.

129
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:26,630
Would've been good if we had gotten in,
but still, real fun.

130
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:29,758
God, we were lame back then. Do you
remember how into dinosaurs we were?

131
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,095
[CHUCKLES]

132
00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:37,182
- Yeah.
- So, what do you do now?

133
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,519
So how long are you in town?

134
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:46,316
- Hi.
MONICA: Hey, sweetie. Oh, good.

135
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,026
Rachel Green.

136
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,569
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

137
00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:52,489
Oh, oh, that's right.
Are you gonna be okay?

138
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:58,203
Oh, I'll be fine. It's just...
God, I hate her, Ross. I hate her.

139
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:03,166
Will, high school was a long time ago.

140
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:06,461
Look at her standing there
with those yams.

141
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:12,300
My two greatest enemies, Ross:
Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.

142
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,554
Oh, my God, Monica. Who is that?

143
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:22,102
- That's Will, from high school.
- Ah. I do not remember him.

144
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:26,064
Wow, really got that
sexy smoldering thing going on.

145
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:29,901
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

146
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:35,699
Oh, my God. Look at the way
he's just staring at me.

147
00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:38,618
I think he's trying to mouth something
to me, but I can't make it out.

148
00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:42,539
[MOUTHS]
I hate you.

149
00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:45,959
- Okay, dinner's ready.
- Okay.

150
00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:50,046
- Yeah. Solid effort. Solid effort.
- Oh, so who won?

151
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,591
- Green Bay.
- Detroit.

152
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,343
- What?
- Well, the Lions technically won.

153
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:59,097
But it was a moral victory
for the Green Bay Mermen.

154
00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:05,770
- Hi. Will, right?
- Right.

155
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,689
Right, hi. I'm Rachel Green.

156
00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:12,986
- Oh, I remember you.
- Really? Aren't you sweet?

157
00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:18,366
I gotta tell you though,
I'm having the hardest time placing you.

158
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,994
Oh, oh, hang on. I think I remember you.

159
00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:26,708
Did we, um...? Did we fool around
at Lance Davis' graduation party?

160
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:30,670
- You are unbelievable.
- Thank you.

161
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:35,175
Uh, Rachel? Why don't you sit here?
And, Will, you sit way over there.

162
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:46,186
That's it? Even if nobody helps me,
I can eat that, no problem.

163
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:47,812
At least give me a challenge.

164
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,064
[MONICA CHUCKLES]

165
00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:51,524
This is Chandler's chicken.

166
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:56,404
This is the turkey.

167
00:10:57,406 --> 00:11:00,533
Oh. How big is that?

168
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:05,413
- About 19 pounds.
- It's like me when I was born.

169
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:10,085
All right, who would, uh, like some yams?
Will?

170
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:12,379
Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?

171
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:17,425
What? Oh, you know what?
Can we please keep the chicken...

172
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:19,678
...and the turkey and everything
on the other side?

173
00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:23,640
- The smell is just... Yuck.
- Typical. Ahem.

174
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:27,811
- I'm sorry, what?
- I said it was typical.

175
00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:29,396
Typical of you, Rachel Green.

176
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:33,441
Queen Rachel, does whatever she wants
in her little Rachel-land.

177
00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:40,448
Seriously, who is this guy?

178
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:44,619
Um, ahem, sorry,
do you have a problem with me?

179
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:49,874
- I don't know. Do I? Do I?
- I think you do.

180
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:54,254
Apparently you were a little mean to him
in high school.

181
00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:59,134
- A little mean? You made my life miserable.
- I had no idea. I'm sorry.

182
00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:03,054
Well, you should be.
Screw it. Bring on the yams.

183
00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:05,098
Will, but you've worked so hard.

184
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,350
- Yams!
- Okay.

185
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:15,024
Uh, Will, I just wanna say that I'm real sorry
for whatever I did to you in high school.

186
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,277
Oh, it wasn't just me. We had a club.

187
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,113
- You had a club?
- That's right.

188
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:23,283
The "I Hate Rachel Green Club."

189
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:26,578
Oh, my God. So, what,
you all just joined together to hate me?

190
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:31,666
- Who else was in this club?
- Me and Ross.

191
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:39,758
No need to point.
She knows who Ross is.

192
00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:50,894
- So you were in an "I Hate Rachel" club?
- Yes, he was.

193
00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:52,270
No, no.

194
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:56,441
So who else was in this club?

195
00:12:56,609 --> 00:13:00,361
Uh, actually, there was also that
exchange student from Thailand.

196
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:03,865
But I don't think he knew what it was.

197
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:07,160
So, Ross, we went out for two years
and you never told me...

198
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:09,078
...you were in an "I Hate Rachel Club."

199
00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:12,791
You went out with her? We had a pact.

200
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:16,544
It was in high school.
It's not like it was binding forever.

201
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:19,255
Then why did it have
the word "eternity" in it?

202
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,843
Okay, Monica, did you know about this?

203
00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:25,929
I swear I didn't. Hey, is that why you guys...

204
00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:28,264
...used to go up to your bedroom
and lock the door?

205
00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:31,976
BOTH: Yeah.
- Huh. A little relieved, I gotta say.

206
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:38,441
Look, Rach, I'm sorry, okay?
I was a stupid kid, okay?

207
00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:39,776
The only reason I joined...

208
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:43,154
- Cofounded.
- Cofounded.

209
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:48,201
Cofounded the club,
was that I was insanely in love with you.

210
00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:50,036
Obviously I didn't handle it very well...

211
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,330
...but if you think about it,
the "I Hate Rachel Club"...

212
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,874
...was really the "I Love Rachel Club."

213
00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:57,877
Uh, except that it was really
the "I Hate Rachel Club."

214
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:03,466
Okay, so, what, you guys would just get
together and say mean things about me?

215
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:08,054
- Well, we did a little more than that.
- No, no. No, no. No, no. Heh.

216
00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:09,931
What? What else did you do?

217
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:12,725
- We started a rumor.
- What rumor?

218
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:18,565
Oh, come on, Will.
Just take off your shirt and tell us.

219
00:14:21,902 --> 00:14:24,112
- Ross?
- Ugh, it was no big deal.

220
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:30,577
Uh, we... We said that...
The rumor was that, um...

221
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:34,747
...you had both male and female
reproductive parts.

222
00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:36,165
Ha!

223
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,251
- What?
- That's right.

224
00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:40,211
We said your parents flipped a coin...

225
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:44,257
...decided to raise you as a girl,
but you still had a hint of a penis.

226
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:49,095
- Oh, my God.
- You started that?

227
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:53,808
- What, you heard that?
- Everyone at our school heard it.

228
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,312
Everybody at my school heard it.
You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader?

229
00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,480
Oh, no.

230
00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:02,984
Oh, my God, this is all making
so much sense to me now.

231
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,111
This is why Adam Carter
wouldn't go out with me.

232
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:08,323
This is why Billy Tratt
would just stay in this region.

233
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:12,702
Actually, Billy Tratt is gay now,
so that one's not really our fault.

234
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:17,498
- Monica, how come you never told me this?
- I thought it might be true.

235
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:20,460
And I was afraid that you were gonna cry
and then show it to me.

236
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,220
Joey, stop staring. There's nothing there.
It's not true.

237
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,765
- I'm afraid I'm gonna need proof.
- Oh...

238
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:43,441
[SIGHS]

239
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:51,783
You are my Everest.

240
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:56,371
- Joey, you don't have to finish that.
- Oh, yes, I do. Otherwise, what's next?

241
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:59,290
Today I'm just a guy
who can't finish a turkey...

242
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,834
...but tomorrow I'm the guy
who eats half a Power Bar...

243
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:05,713
...wraps up the rest and puts it
in the fridge? No.

244
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:10,593
I just gotta change my pants.
What was I thinking? Jeans have no give.

245
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:19,143
Okay. Okay. Listen to what Sean McMahon
wrote in my yearbook senior year.

246
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:24,315
"Dear Rach, you're such a great person."
Not girl, "person."

247
00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:27,860
Rach, I think you're reading
a little too much into it.

248
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:32,490
"Dear Rach, you're a great person.
Sorry about your teeny weenie."

249
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,367
[LAUGHING]

250
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,412
What do you want me to do...

251
00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:41,082
...call everyone in the entire school
and tell them it wasn't true?

252
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,835
- Yes.
- Could you also tell them I'm skinny now?

253
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:46,921
Oh. Me too.

254
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:50,675
Now, look, I'm not calling anybody, okay?
It was like a million years ago.

255
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:54,721
I don't care how long ago it was.
You told people that I was half and half.

256
00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:58,182
You know what? I just wanna point out...

257
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,351
...I never did anything to hurt you
in high school.

258
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,979
That's not totally true.

259
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:04,480
- What?
- What?

260
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,983
Well, you did start that rumor
about Ross...

261
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:11,070
...making out with Mrs. Altmann,
our 50-year-old librarian.

262
00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:15,241
How did you know that?

263
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:21,789
- It's true?
- No.

264
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,585
Yes, it is. I saw you guys going at it
behind the card catalog.

265
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:29,547
Mrs. Altmann? She also made out...

266
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,675
...with Ta-Taka-Ki-Kek the night
before he went back to Thailand.

267
00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:38,639
I'm sorry, when you were in high school
you made out with a 50-year-old woman?

268
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:42,977
- Hey, she didn't look 50.
- Did she look 16?

269
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,354
Oh, there's a picture of her
in the yearbook actually.

270
00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:46,856
PHOEBE:
Oh.

271
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:51,778
- Wow.
- She didn't photograph well.

272
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:54,030
She probably wasn't familiar
with the process...

273
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:57,617
...having spent most of her life
sitting for oil paintings.

274
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:03,831
So how did this happen?
Did she lure you to an early-bird dinner?

275
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:13,841
I was working late in the library
one afternoon.

276
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:15,510
It was just the two of us.

277
00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:18,137
She needed some help
with her word jumble.

278
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,851
And one thing led to another.

279
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:30,108
If you must know,
Anita was very gentle and tender.

280
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,530
May she rest in peace.

281
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:40,118
- Didn't she walk with a cane?
- Only when it was damp.

282
00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:46,457
I can't believe you told people about this.
Everybody knew?

283
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:51,379
- You know what? I'm back in the club.
- Yeah!

284
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,548
- I wanna join.
- What...? Phoebe?

285
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:58,136
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I never got to be
in a club. I didn't go to high school.

286
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:01,222
But three of us would meet
behind a Dumpster to learn French.

287
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,015
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

288
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:06,227
All right, you know, fine,
you guys can have your stupid little club.

289
00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:10,898
But I would just like to say what you did
to me is way worse than what I did to you.

290
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:14,569
- You gave me a teeny weenie.
- Ha, ha, yeah.

291
00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:20,950
All right, listen. You're just being silly.

292
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:24,370
Rachel, even with that rumor you were
one of the most popular girls in school.

293
00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:26,330
Everyone wanted to be like you.

294
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:30,251
One girl wanted to be like you so much,
she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll.

295
00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:32,253
Wow.

296
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:35,756
And, Ross,
if it weren't for Rachel's rumor...

297
00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:38,593
...I mean, no one in high school
would have even known who you were.

298
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:43,055
- She put you on the map.
- As a romancer of the elderly.

299
00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:47,435
Hey, Mrs. Altmann was the kind of woman
you could tell she used to be pretty.

300
00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:51,689
The eyes did still sparkle.

301
00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:57,069
Hey, guys, this stuff is so way in the past.
You've been through so much since then.

302
00:19:57,321 --> 00:20:00,489
And right now, you got so much more
important stuff going on in your lives.

303
00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:02,450
Can't you just let this go?

304
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,246
She's right.

305
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,957
Yeah, I mean,
we are having a baby together.

306
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,084
Hold on.

307
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:16,088
- You got her pregnant?
- Yeah.

308
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,883
- Are you getting married?
- No.

309
00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:22,136
So you knocked her up
but you're not gonna marry her.

310
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:23,804
Dude.

311
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:30,019
- Anybody?
- Okay.

312
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:37,068
It's exactly how I imagined it would be.

313
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:42,531
All right, where's that turkey?

314
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:52,541
- Joey, those are my maternity pants.
- No, these are my Thanksgiving pants.

315
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:02,843
Well, that's it. I'm done.

316
00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:04,595
Whew.

317
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:07,348
Here come the meat sweats.

318
00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,605
Well, Joey, we're all very proud of you.

319
00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:19,527
Yes, I believe we can expect a call
from the president any moment now.

320
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:24,156
- Is there anything we can do for you?
- No, just nobody press on my stomach.

321
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:25,908
You can keep those pants, by the way.

322
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:32,707
What...? What do you got there?
What is that, pie?

323
00:21:32,916 --> 00:21:37,086
- Heh. Yeah, you want some?
- Just cut me a little sliver.

324
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,382
A little bigger.

325
00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:44,093
Little bigger.

326
00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:46,804
What, are you afraid you're gonna run out?
Cut me a real piece.

327
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,728
[English - US - SDH]