1
00:00:03,294 --> 00:00:04,336
- Phoebe.
- Yeah?

2
00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:07,381
Look at that guy by the window. Wow!

3
00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:11,552
He's awfully short.
And I think he's talking to himself.

4
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,596
And to be completely honest,
he's not that good in bed.

5
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:20,561
Ugh, what is wrong with me lately?
It's, like, every guy I see.

6
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,688
Look at that guy, for example.

7
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:26,066
Normally that's not someone
that I would be attracted to.

8
00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,110
But right now,
with the way I'm feeling...

9
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:32,448
...all I wanna do is rip off
his sweatpants and fanny pack.

10
00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:36,869
Wait a second! This is about
the fourth month of your pregnancy, right?

11
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,996
- Yeah.
- This is completely normal.

12
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,665
Around the fourth month,
your hormones go crazy.

13
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:45,044
- Really? So this happened to you?
- Absolutely, yeah.

14
00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:47,671
And keep in mind, I was carrying triplets.

15
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:52,217
So in medical terms,
I was thrice as randy.

16
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:55,137
Wow, this explains so much.

17
00:00:55,305 --> 00:01:00,184
Last weekend, I went from store
to store, sitting on Santas' laps.

18
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:03,270
Yeah, I remember trying to steal...

19
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:06,398
...a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield
from a Footlocker.

20
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,984
- Ugh.
- Yeah, ugh.

21
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:11,987
I go see my doctor tomorrow.
I'll ask her about this.

22
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,239
Maybe she can give me
a pill or something.

23
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,909
Yeah, that's what you need.
A good pill.

24
00:01:55,865 --> 00:01:57,324
- Hey.
- Hey.

25
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:58,909
- Hey.
- Hi.

26
00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,953
Look, I got our pictures developed.

27
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,706
Oh, great. Joey, wanna check out
pictures of me and Mona ice-skating?

28
00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:11,130
Oh, uh, ordinarily I would love to,
but I am just swamped right now.

29
00:02:15,593 --> 00:02:19,388
Where are the pictures that creepy
pretzel vendor took of us together?

30
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:22,015
Oh, yeah. Probably at the end.

31
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:26,311
Oh, my God. All he took
were pictures of my breasts!

32
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,230
I'm missing picture time?

33
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:36,029
You know, she has a face, Ross.

34
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:41,827
- Okay, here's a good one of us.
- Wow, that is a good one.

35
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,204
Wow, It looks like a holiday card...

36
00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:48,292
...with the tree in the middle
and the skaters and the snow. Heh.

37
00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:51,086
Every year I say I'll send cards
and I never do it.

38
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,714
Do you wanna send
this one out together?

39
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:01,638
Together? Like, to people?

40
00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:05,559
Yeah, "Happy Holidays,
from Mona and Ross." lt'll be cute. Okay?

41
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:08,353
Heh. Uh, okay.

42
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:11,315
- Oh, I gotta get to work. Call me later?
- Sure.

43
00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:12,858
- Bye, guys.
PHOEBE: Bye.

44
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,318
- Bye.
- Yeah.

45
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:19,406
Congratulations! You just got married!

46
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,326
I know. Can you believe that?

47
00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:25,412
I'm sorry. What's the big deal
about a holiday card?

48
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:29,249
Married couples send out cards.
Families send out cards.

49
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:33,629
People who've been dating a few months
do not send out cards. Is she crazy?

50
00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:36,256
Hey, hey, hey.
That's your wife you're talking about.

51
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:41,970
- Bing! Ho, and the Bingette!
- Ah, heh.

52
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:44,806
- Honey, you remember my boss, Doug.
- Yes. Hi.

53
00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:49,394
So, good news, the divorce is final.
I signed the papers this a.m.

54
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:52,022
I didn't know you were getting
a divorce. I'm sorry.

55
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:55,359
Heh, sorry? Finally chewed my leg out
of that bear trap.

56
00:03:56,653 --> 00:04:01,365
- Hey! Congratulations to you guys.
- Heh. No leg-chewing for us.

57
00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:03,200
Well, give it time.

58
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:08,622
So! The divorce, the marriage,
we got a lot to celebrate.

59
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,667
How about we go out to dinner
tomorrow night?

60
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:14,336
I can't think
of anything we're doing.

61
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:17,381
Why can't I think of anything
we're doing?

62
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:20,384
Tomorrow night it is.
I should be out of court by 6.

63
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,678
They keep throwing sexual harassment
cases at me...

64
00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:25,847
...and I keep knocking them
out of the park! Ha-ha-ha.

65
00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:28,058
Okay, see you tomorrow.

66
00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:31,019
Just so you know,
we're not seeing him tomorrow.

67
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:34,106
I cannot spend another evening
with that man.

68
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,275
Remember how he behaved
at our wedding?

69
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,694
- No.
- Because he wasn't invited.

70
00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:41,905
Because of the way he behaved
at our engagement party.

71
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:46,326
Oh, yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through
an ice sculpture, doesn't it?

72
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,873
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

73
00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:54,293
- Hi!
- Hey.

74
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,503
Hey, I went by the photo shop.
Take a look.

75
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:59,298
Here is a mockup of our card.
What do you think?

76
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,300
[CHUCKLING]

77
00:05:02,343 --> 00:05:04,428
Huh. Wow, this is great.

78
00:05:04,595 --> 00:05:07,514
Now, do you think it should say,
"Love, Ross and Mona"?

79
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:12,686
Well, we haven't said that
to each other yet...

80
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:17,107
...but I guess it's okay
to say it to other people.

81
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:21,570
- How many did you want? I'm getting 100.
- A hundred? Ha-ha-ha.

82
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:26,783
Well, I, uh, guess I'll take, uh...

83
00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:28,785
Mona?

84
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:34,916
Uh, I don't... I'm not sure
about the whole, uh, card thing.

85
00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:36,585
Really? Why not?

86
00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:41,506
Sending out a holiday card together?

87
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:46,261
I just don't know
if we're really quite there yet.

88
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:50,349
I didn't think of it that way.
You're right. You're right.

89
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:51,725
[LAUGHS]

90
00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:53,727
[SIGHS]

91
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,147
- So can I ask you a question?
- Yeah.

92
00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,649
- Where are we?
- Huh?

93
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:05,238
You know, where are we?
Where is this relationship going?

94
00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:11,370
Hmm.

95
00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:16,166
I mean, I love spending time with you.
I hope we're moving forward.

96
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,543
We should talk about that,
don't you think?

97
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,471
Let's do the card!

98
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:34,476
- What?
- The card! I think we're there.

99
00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:38,688
Okay, but I still think
we should have this conversation.

100
00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:43,985
Really? I mean, even with the card?

101
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,656
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

102
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:48,990
- Hi.
- Hi.

103
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:52,828
Just so you know, Dr. Long can't be here
today. She was called to the hospital.

104
00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,663
So Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.

105
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:58,250
Okay. Can I ask you a question?

106
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:03,046
Was it me, or was the guy who
took my blood sample really cute? Heh.

107
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:07,509
You know who I'm talking about?
Bowl haircut, hairy fingers?

108
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:14,474
- Hi, Rachel. I'm Dr. Schiff.
- Yes, you are.

109
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,977
So how's it going?

110
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:20,689
Oh, it's really good.
But enough about me! Come on. Heh.

111
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:23,859
Where are you from? What do you do?

112
00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:27,988
- I'm a doctor.
- Right. I meant...

113
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:31,533
...you know, in your spare time.
Do you cook? Ski?

114
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:34,703
Or hang out with your wife
or girlfriend?

115
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:38,206
Uh, I don't have a wife or girlfriend,
but I do ski.

116
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:42,586
I love to ski! How amazing is this?

117
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:47,883
- Are you experiencing any discomfort?
- No, I'm very comfortable.

118
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:51,470
- Any painful gas?
- No!

119
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:57,142
Ew, Dr. Schiff!
What kind of question is that?

120
00:07:57,894 --> 00:08:00,896
Okay, then. Would you like
to lie down on the table?

121
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:03,899
Would you like me
to lie down on the table?

122
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:08,487
- Sorry, is there something going on here?
- Do you feel it too?

123
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,285
- Hi.
- Oh, hey. So...

124
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:18,497
...how did your doctor's appointment go?
- Well, let's see.

125
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:21,124
Uh, they gave me
"cute boy" doctor today.

126
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:26,046
In the middle of the exam
I put my pinkie in his chin dimple.

127
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:28,965
- Oh, my God!
- Why did you do that?

128
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:33,094
Okay, remember that problem I was having
during my fourth month of pregnancy?

129
00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:36,264
Oh, yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase.

130
00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:40,519
Oh, man. You were so hard up,
you practically came on to me.

131
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,979
You wish!

132
00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:45,315
Hey, I could've had you if I wanted you.

133
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:49,152
Oh, yeah? Come and get it.

134
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:52,072
Okay, even this is turning me on.

135
00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:55,450
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.

136
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:59,120
Hey, Ross. How's it going
with you and Mona?

137
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:01,456
You guys still together?

138
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:06,461
Oh, yeah, we're moving forward.
You'll be getting our card.

139
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:09,673
You and Mona
are doing a holiday card together?

140
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,132
We're not just doing a card.

141
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:15,011
She also wants to have the conversation
about where the relationship is going.

142
00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:17,305
Ugh, women.

143
00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:21,643
I know! Why do you guys need
to have this conversation, huh?

144
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:25,522
No self-respecting man would ask a woman,
"So where is this going?"

145
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,482
Uh, Ross, you asked me that.

146
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:31,736
Hey, you were a closed book, okay?
I'm not a mind reader!

147
00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:38,451
Besides, I hate those conversations.
I'm horrible at them, really.

148
00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:41,121
Maybe I need some kind of a gesture.

149
00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:44,916
Something that says we're moving forward
without having to talk about it.

150
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:49,754
- Like asking her to move in with you?
- Wha...? Ha. Smaller than that.

151
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:53,550
- Making her a mix tape?
- Uh, bigger than that.

152
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:57,804
- Give her a key to your apartment.
- Whoa, hello. We were closer with the tape.

153
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,516
Have you said "I love you"?
Say, "I love you."

154
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:04,853
I don't... I don't think I'm quite there yet.

155
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:08,481
But, oh, I could say,
"I love spending time with you."

156
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:11,234
- No, we hate that.
- That is a slap in the face.

157
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:16,656
Oh, forget it. You know what?
I'll just have the conversation.

158
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:21,703
I'll just say, "I like things the way
they are," and hope for the best.

159
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,122
What do you think, Rach?

160
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:27,626
I think if it was
a little colder in here...

161
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:30,420
...I could see your nipples
through that sweater.

162
00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:38,053
Bing, we're all set for tonight. 8:00.

163
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:41,264
Oh, uh, as it turns out, we can't do it.
Monica has to work.

164
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:44,309
Oh. My ex-wife didn't work.

165
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,395
Unless you call turning
into her mother "work."

166
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:51,524
Now, fine. Tomorrow night, then.

167
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:54,235
Oh, uh, well,
tomorrow's no good for her, either.

168
00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:55,445
Oh? Why not?

169
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,740
It's the semifinals...

170
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,492
...of her...

171
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,244
...bocce ball tournament.

172
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,997
- Ahem.
- What's going on, Bing?

173
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:10,335
Does, uh, your wife have a problem
with me, or something?

174
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,213
Well now you're just talking crazy.

175
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:16,424
Then why can't the three of us
go out together?

176
00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:19,761
Because, uh, we split up.

177
00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:22,055
Monica and I split up.

178
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,224
Hold me.

179
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,602
Good God, Bing.

180
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:30,313
Well, I can't say
I'm altogether surprised.

181
00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:34,609
I saw the way she looked at you,
and there was no love there.

182
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:40,281
And the way she looked at me,
pure lust.

183
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,909
What would help me
through this tough time...

184
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,370
...is choking someone.
Can I choke you?

185
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:49,541
Bing, my boy,
we're gonna get you over this.

186
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:53,253
Here's the plan: Grab your coat,
we're going to a strip club!

187
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,338
Oh, no, Monica would freak.

188
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,925
But to hell with that bitch!

189
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,639
Here we go.

190
00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,016
Ah, Mona, um...

191
00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:12,188
...I think it's time we had a conversation
about where things are with us.

192
00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:15,024
Yeah, I think I suggested that.

193
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:18,862
Heh. Uh, we are so...

194
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:24,117
So, um...

195
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,119
...well, I really like you.

196
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:29,998
And I love, um, you know,
hanging out with you.

197
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:34,335
And I'm having a lot of fun.

198
00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:40,467
Okay.

199
00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:45,638
I mean, there's no point in spending time
with someone if it's just fun.

200
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:50,059
- It's gotta be going somewhere, right?
- Ha, ha.

201
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:53,188
So where is it going?

202
00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:57,233
Ah.

203
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:02,238
That's the real question.

204
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:08,369
And the answer is...

205
00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:11,873
...it's going somewhere...

206
00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:14,667
...fun.

207
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:20,715
I know what you're thinking.
Fun was fine for you 10 years ago.

208
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,760
- Ha-ha-ha.
- But you're not getting any younger.

209
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:29,849
No, I mean, not you. Not you.
You are getting younger!

210
00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:31,059
[BOTH LAUGH]

211
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:36,606
You look like you're getting younger
by the second. What's your secret?

212
00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:41,945
I'm sorry, so, uh, where are we?

213
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:44,280
Well, to sum up:

214
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:53,456
We're having fun. You look young.

215
00:13:57,253 --> 00:14:00,171
- Okay...
- But that's not enough.

216
00:14:00,464 --> 00:14:01,631
[CHUCKLES]

217
00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:06,135
So, heh, so...

218
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:11,641
...here's a key to my apartment.

219
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:15,270
- Really?
- Really.

220
00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:20,316
- You don't think this is too fast?
- Mm-mm.

221
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,241
You gave her a key
to your apartment?

222
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:32,078
Not just a key,
I gave her the only key!

223
00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:38,793
I am now a homeless person
in a very serious relationship.

224
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:46,342
- Oh, Ross, how'd the conversation go?
- Great. I live on the street.

225
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,844
Where?

226
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:50,930
- Hey!
RACHEL: Hi.

227
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,975
Okay, Monica, Rachel,
this is my friend Roger.

228
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,977
- Hi, Roger.
RACHEL: Hi, Roger.

229
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:58,104
- Hi.
- So, um, I'm gonna get us some drinks.

230
00:14:58,272 --> 00:14:59,480
- Okay.
- Could you help me?

231
00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:02,066
Yeah, okay.

232
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:10,283
Um, he's here to have sex with you.

233
00:15:14,371 --> 00:15:16,331
- What?
- You're welcome.

234
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,000
Phoebe, no!

235
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,002
It's okay. He's a virgin.

236
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:27,926
Rachel, um, I was talking to this guy...

237
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:30,470
...and I think he'll have sex with you.
- Okay...

238
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:33,348
- Yeah, okay. Let's leave these two alone.
- Aah!

239
00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:36,017
No. I don't care
what my hormones are doing.

240
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:39,145
I'm not gonna just do it
with some random guy.

241
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:43,483
Fine. Then you tell Roger.
He was really looking forward to this.

242
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:57,497
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]

243
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:04,712
Ooh, Bing, look at those twin sisters
dancing together.

244
00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:08,925
Let me buy you a lap dance
with those girls, huh?

245
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:13,346
That's all right, sir.
And that's just one girl.

246
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,557
Bing, what's this?

247
00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:20,311
It's a hand. It's a thing you use
as a Jack and Coke holder.

248
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:23,147
No, it's a wedding ring.
You gotta get rid of it.

249
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,525
We're gonna go to the East River
and throw it in!

250
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,151
- Oh, no, no, no!
- Yeah, yeah!

251
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,237
I did, and I felt a hell of a lot better!

252
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:32,448
If you whip it right,
you might hit a seagull in the head.

253
00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:38,204
Okay. Oh, I'm gonna need
a bunch of extra keys.

254
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:41,624
Apparently, I give them away
for no reason at all.

255
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:47,630
Hey, Ross, what's going on?
You changing the lock?

256
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,257
No, heh.

257
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:51,384
That guy is.

258
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:52,760
I don't understand.

259
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:55,805
You give me a key to your apartment
and then change the lock?

260
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:59,726
- Uh...
- Good luck, buddy.

261
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:04,522
Um, I thought we were moving forward.

262
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:08,276
And now you're sending me
all these mixed signals.

263
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,111
What are you trying to tell me?

264
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:14,574
I'm trying to tell you...

265
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,619
...I made you a mix tape.

266
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:22,457
- What?
- I love you.

267
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,918
Oh! Aww!

268
00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:27,628
Heh, oh.

269
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:31,257
And I love spending time with you.

270
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:41,893
- Hi, honey, I'm home.
- From the tequila factory?

271
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:44,270
It was awful.

272
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:47,774
To get out of dinner with Doug,
I told him you and I split up.

273
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:50,985
So he took me to all these strip clubs
and sleazy bars.

274
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:55,907
And when I wouldn't give him my wedding
ring, he threw a soda can at a bird.

275
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:59,285
Come here.
I can breathe through my mouth.

276
00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:03,623
Know what the worst part was?

277
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:06,834
I got to see what my life
would be like without you.

278
00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:10,797
It was like It's a Wonderful Life
with lap dances.

279
00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:15,760
Please promise me
that you'll never leave me...

280
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:20,640
...that we'll grow old together,
and be with each other the rest of our lives.

281
00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,517
I promise.

282
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:28,356
Hey, speaking of together, how about
we send out a holiday card this year?

283
00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:31,275
Ooh, I don't know if we're there yet.

284
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:38,491
Yes, I'd like to order a pizza.
Can I ask you a question?

285
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:44,122
Is the cute blond guy delivering tonight?
Very "Abercrombie & Fitch."

286
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:46,916
- I'll call you back.
- Who was that?

287
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:51,504
- Just the pizza place.
- You hung up on the pizza place?

288
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,840
I don't hang up on your friends.

289
00:18:54,716 --> 00:18:58,302
- Sorry, I'm just having a rough day.
- Oh. What's wrong?

290
00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:02,723
- Oh, you really don't wanna hear about it.
- Then why did I ask?

291
00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:05,601
Okay. It's just that
this is really embarrassing.

292
00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:07,979
But lately with this pregnancy thing...

293
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,816
...I'm just finding myself...

294
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,735
How do I put this? Um...

295
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,029
Erotically charged.

296
00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:21,951
Is that college talk for "horny"?

297
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:25,913
Yeah. So, you know,
I have all of these feelings...

298
00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:27,999
...and I don't know
what to do about them.

299
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,084
Because I can't date
like a normal person.

300
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,211
Which is fine,
I don't need a relationship.

301
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:36,299
All I really want is one great night.
Just sex.

302
00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:39,260
You know?
No strings attached. No relationship.

303
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:43,973
Just with someone I feel comfortable with
and who knows what he's doing.

304
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:49,687
For just one great night.
I mean, is that really so hard...

305
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,399
...to find?

306
00:19:58,405 --> 00:20:00,239
So how was your day?

307
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:04,702
Good. I, uh, saw a pretty big pigeon.

308
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:12,585
I gotta get up early,
and it's almost 7:00.

309
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,795
Yeah, I gotta go to my room too.

310
00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:17,298
RACHEL: Okay, good night.
- Good night!

311
00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:22,762
- I can't do it!
- I didn't ask you to!

312
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,347
- You're Rachel!
- You're Joey!

313
00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:27,266
- You're my friend! Yeah.
- Right back at you.

314
00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:30,770
Plus, it would be wrong,
and weird and bad!

315
00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:34,899
So bad! I don't know what you're talking
about. I didn't ask you to do anything.

316
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,235
I know!

317
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:47,203
- You wanna do it?
- No!

318
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:51,207
- Me neither, I'm just testing you!
- That's the end of this conversation!

319
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,918
- This conversation never happened.
- Never happened.

320
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,212
- Good night.
- Good night!

321
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:03,970
Get back in there!

322
00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:15,731
Hi. Listen, ahem, I'm sorry about
that whole thing with Roger.

323
00:21:15,899 --> 00:21:18,609
It really wasn't right,
and I wanna make it up to you.

324
00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:21,612
So, um, I brought you something...

325
00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:24,115
...that I think you'll really enjoy. Okay.

326
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:37,295
Now this is just a loan, okay?
I'm gonna want him back. So...

327
00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:40,256
I'm gonna go now.

328
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:47,430
I'm sorry, I thought I could do it,
and I can't.

329
00:21:52,185 --> 00:21:54,186
[English - US - SDH]