1
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:07,548
Hey, hon? Would you help me
get the plates down?

2
00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:11,635
Hey, here's an idea. Why don't
we use our wedding china today?

3
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:14,972
No, I think we should save our china
for something really special.

4
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:17,474
Like if the queen of England
comes over.

5
00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:21,061
Honey, she keeps
canceling on us. Take the hint.

6
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:24,273
What if something breaks?
They're expensive.

7
00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:27,526
What is the point of having them
if we never use them?

8
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:30,654
Okay. But if something breaks
and then the queen comes over...

9
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:34,491
- I will explain it to her.
- Like I'd let you talk to the queen.

10
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:39,455
The parade is really good this year.

11
00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:42,416
Man, those horses can crap.

12
00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:45,586
ANNOUNCER: Next up is a marching band
from Muskogee, Oklahoma.

13
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:50,841
Muskogee?
That's like four hours from Tulsa!

14
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,969
Here's the float with the stars
of the popular daytime soap...

15
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,305
...Days of our Lives.

16
00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:01,685
Oh, my God!

17
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:04,438
Aren't you one of the stars of the
popular daytime soap Days ofour Lives?

18
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:08,901
I forgot! I'm supposed to be there!

19
00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:13,947
I can't believe I forgot! I usually write
stuff like this down on my arm!

20
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:19,495
Stupid long sleeves!

21
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:23,749
- What are you gonna do?
- I'll come up with a good reason...

22
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,501
...why I wasn't there.

23
00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:28,462
The producers are gonna be mad.
They sat us down and said:

24
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:33,675
"Everyone has to be there, 6 a.m. Sharp.
That means you, Tribbiani."

25
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:36,678
Like I was some kind of idiot.

26
00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:40,724
- Well, you proved them wrong.
- Yeah.

27
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:33,318
Oh, Emma.

28
00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,530
This is your first Thanksgiving.

29
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:39,074
What are you thankful for?

30
00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:41,285
Mommy's boobies?

31
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:44,788
A lot of people are thankful for those.

32
00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,040
[KNOCKING]

33
00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:49,126
WOMAN:
Hello? Rachel?

34
00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:50,460
Who is it?

35
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:53,714
WOMAN:
It's your favorite sister.

36
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,258
- Jill?
AMY: Amy!

37
00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:58,343
Hide my rings.

38
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:06,476
Amy! Happy Thanksgiving.

39
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,358
Do you have a hair straightener?

40
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:16,612
Um... Hi.

41
00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:18,238
- Hi.
- Hi.

42
00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:20,782
Hair straightener.

43
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:25,329
- I haven't seen you in, like, a year.
- I know. I know. I've just been crazed.

44
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:28,749
Well, me too. I had a baby.

45
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,919
I decorated Dad's office.

46
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:37,966
Yeah? Well, unless you pushed a desk
out of your vagina, not the same thing.

47
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,637
About that hair straightener,
honey, I really need one.

48
00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,347
I'm gonna have dinner
at my boyfriend's house.

49
00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,432
[EMMA COOING]

50
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,684
- Oh, my God.
- Uh-huh.

51
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:50,229
Is this Emmett?

52
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,109
It's Emma.

53
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:57,736
AMY:
It's a girl?

54
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,282
- Hey, Amy.
RACHEL: Amy, you remember Ross?

55
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:05,327
Not really.

56
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:09,206
But you are much cuter
than that geeky guy she used to date.

57
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,044
That was me.

58
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:18,590
No, he was this creepy guy from high
school who had this huge crush on her...

59
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,634
...since, like, the ninth grade.

60
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,219
Still me.

61
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,721
No, I'm not talking about you.

62
00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:27,724
It was your fat friend's brother
with that bad Afro.

63
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:31,937
Okay, Amy, I'm gonna save you
some time, okay? All me!

64
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:40,153
Careful. Careful.

65
00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:42,322
Careful!

66
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:45,033
I'll tell you what.
For the rest of our lives...

67
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:47,619
...I'll be careful until told otherwise.

68
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:52,291
- This isn't the china we picked out.
MONICA: I know.

69
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:55,836
After you left the store,
I chose different ones.

70
00:04:56,462 --> 00:05:00,465
- Why?
- Your taste is a little feminine for me.

71
00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:03,218
Suddenly flowers are feminine?

72
00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:07,264
Hey, everybody! Happy Thanksgiving!

73
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,808
- Happy Thanksgiving. Pheebs!
- What's going on, Joe?

74
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,227
Listen, I need a good lie.

75
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,770
Okay.

76
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:18,066
How about the whole "man walking
on the moon" thing, you know?

77
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:22,112
You can see the strings, people!

78
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:26,158
No, no, no. I need a good lie to explain
why I wasn't at a work thing today.

79
00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:29,119
- Honey, you stink at lying.
- I do not.

80
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,664
Really? Let me ask you something.
Yesterday at the coffeehouse...

81
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:36,501
...I went to the bathroom. When I came
back, my muffin was gone. Who took it?

82
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,172
Somebody opened the door
to the coffeehouse...

83
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:44,301
...and a raccoon ran in and went
straight for your muffin. I said:

84
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:47,763
"Hey, don't eat that!
That's Phoebe's!" And he said...

85
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:53,810
He said, "Joey, you stink at lying."
What am I gonna do?

86
00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:56,688
Don't worry. We'll come up with a lie.
I'll help you.

87
00:05:56,898 --> 00:06:00,525
- Great. That'd be great. Thank you.
- Sure. What was the work thing?

88
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,152
Uh...

89
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,447
- "Pick up Grandma at the airport."
- Oh, man!

90
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:10,994
She's precious.

91
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:15,248
Do you ever worry
that she's gonna get your real nose?

92
00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:17,334
Amy...

93
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:20,837
Yes, I do. I really do.

94
00:06:21,005 --> 00:06:23,006
[PHONE RINGING]

95
00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:26,843
Hello?

96
00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:30,555
Yeah, hang on, one sec.
Can I take this upstairs?

97
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,974
Sure. We don't live there, but...

98
00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:37,938
Seriously? It's just these rooms?

99
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:42,484
- I thought you were a doctor.
- Yeah. No, Ross has a Ph.D.

100
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,903
Ew!

101
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:51,576
God, she is unbelievable.

102
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,871
I know. I mean, a Ph.D.
Is just as good as an MD.

103
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,832
Sure, Ross, yeah!

104
00:06:56,999 --> 00:07:01,420
If I have a heart attack at a restaurant,
I want you there with your fossil brush.

105
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,465
- Stupid Thanksgiving.
RACHEL: What?

106
00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:08,802
- What? What happened?
- My boyfriend canceled on me.

107
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,471
I mean, I finally find a real relationship.

108
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:16,601
Someone that I can spend this day with,
and then his wife comes back into town!

109
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:20,021
I swear, it's almost not even
worth dating married guys.

110
00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:22,232
Don't say that.

111
00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:26,111
God, I was so looking forward to this.

112
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,322
It was gonna be such
a beautiful Thanksgiving.

113
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,908
We were gonna have sushi.

114
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:36,788
Amy, don't cry.

115
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:40,667
- Ross, can I talk to you in private?
- Sure, you wanna go upstairs, or?

116
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:48,550
Look, I was thinking,
if it's okay with Monica...

117
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:51,303
...I would like to invite Amy
to Thanksgiving.

118
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:57,559
I think that's a great idea. It'll be like
the Pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis.

119
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,813
Look, I know she's a little tough to take.

120
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:06,318
But she has nowhere else to go,
and she's my sister. She's Emma's aunt.

121
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:11,490
- And I would like them to bond.
- I don't want them bonding too much.

122
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:14,201
I don't want her telling Emma
she needs a nose job.

123
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:18,371
Ross, she may need one. We're just
gonna have to make our peace with that!

124
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,547
- Hi!
PHOEBE: Hey.

125
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:30,926
Hey, you guys. This is my sister Amy.

126
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:34,554
This is Chandler, Joey,
Phoebe, and you know Mon.

127
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:36,890
MONICA: Hi.
- Oh, my God.

128
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,267
You're on Days of our Lives!

129
00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:40,810
Yeah.

130
00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:44,397
Wow! They must put
a lot of makeup on you.

131
00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:48,902
Happy Thanksgiving.

132
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,780
MONICA: Hey.
ROSS: Hi.

133
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:57,160
So welcome. Is this the first time
you're seeing Emma?

134
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,497
Yeah, I think so.
It's nice to meet you, Emma.

135
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:06,044
- Phoebe.
- That's a funny noise.

136
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:13,593
- Pheebs? I still need some help here.
- Right. Okay.

137
00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:18,181
So it's not just the lie you tell,
but it's the way you tell it. For example...

138
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:21,685
...if you look at the ground when
you talk, people know you're lying.

139
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:26,565
I don't know why this is so hard for me.
Lying is basically just acting...

140
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:30,151
...and I am a terrific actor.
- You are a terrific actor.

141
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:36,908
- Hey. Where's the baby?
- We just put her down for a nap.

142
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:40,787
Listen, I was just thinking.
You know what would be incredible?

143
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:43,707
If you guys died!

144
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,210
Thank you, Amy.

145
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,255
No, no, then I would get the baby.

146
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:54,759
It would be just like a movie. At first
I wouldn't know what to do with her.

147
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:59,055
And then I would rise to the occasion.
Then I'd get a makeover and get married.

148
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,600
That's a great movie!

149
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:06,229
Yeah. Listen, not that you guys
could stop me or anything...

150
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,815
...because, you know, you'd be dead.

151
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:11,276
But I was thinking about
changing her name.

152
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,862
I'm just not really a big fan of Emily.

153
00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:17,115
Emma.

154
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:19,784
Emma? Ross wants you.

155
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,205
Phoebe!

156
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:28,501
Why does she keep making that noise?

157
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,381
Honey, I don't know
how to tell you this...

158
00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:37,886
...but if something were to happen
to Ross or myself...

159
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:41,348
...you wouldn't get the baby.
- Well, who would?

160
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:45,644
Well, we haven't officially
asked them yet...

161
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:48,521
...but we would want
Monica and Chandler.

162
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,607
I can't believe you'd want us
to raise Emma.

163
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,068
Oh, my God, I'm so moved.

164
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:55,945
I don't believe this. Hold on a second.
You guys die...

165
00:10:56,113 --> 00:10:58,615
...and I don't get your baby?

166
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:02,160
Amy, see, we're a lot closer
to Monica and Chandler.

167
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:06,581
We see them every day. And truthfully,
you don't seem connected to the baby.

168
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:10,377
Connected? To what? She's a lump.

169
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:15,840
You know, guys, I've gotta say
this means so much to me.

170
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:19,344
I mean, that you would
trust me with your child.

171
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,138
I mean, we all know
that Monica and I have been...

172
00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:24,641
...trying to have a baby of our own.

173
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:30,021
You know, I've had my doubts
about my skills as a father, but...

174
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,608
That you two...

175
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:37,278
- That you two...
- This guy?

176
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,073
Seriously?

177
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,706
Okay, it's time for dinner.

178
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,583
Everyone, we're using our fancy china...

179
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:54,671
...and it's very expensive,
so please be careful.

180
00:11:55,965 --> 00:12:00,677
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa...

181
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:05,223
Okay, just to be clear, comedy with
the plates will not be well-received.

182
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,649
Hey!

183
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:18,737
How come my plate's less fancy
than everyone else's?

184
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,449
Do you not trust me with a fancy plate?

185
00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:25,744
No, honey. That's a special plate.

186
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:29,622
See, it's a game.
Whoever gets that plate wins.

187
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,960
I can't believe I won!

188
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,214
You know, this is such a slap
in the face. I mean, I'm your sister...

189
00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:42,343
...and you would give your baby
to these strangers over me.

190
00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:45,054
Monica is Ross' sister.

191
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:49,392
No, Ross' sister was really fat.

192
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,353
That was me.

193
00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:57,525
No, she was this dorky girl in school who
followed Rachel around like a puppy...

194
00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,069
Amy, you've got to stop doing that!

195
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,037
Okay, listen, I know you're having
a bit of a family crisis...

196
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,790
...but you don't have to take it out
on the plates.

197
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:14,793
I mean, in fact, I think that everyone...

198
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,880
...should cut their food like this:

199
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:24,093
Now, see? This way,
you protect the plates...

200
00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:26,346
...and let's face it, you have fun.

201
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,892
Okay, how about this?
If you guys die...

202
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:34,896
...and the crazy plate lady dies...

203
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:39,108
...then do I get the baby?
- No, if crazy plate lady...

204
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:45,698
If Monica dies,
then I would get Emma. Right?

205
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,454
- Well, actually...
- Actually what?

206
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:55,542
It's just...
It's just that in that case...

207
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,627
...then Emma would go
to my parents.

208
00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:00,255
- What?
- Hurts, doesn't it?

209
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:07,011
Who has to die for me to get her?

210
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:17,856
So if Monica's not around,
I'm not good enough to raise Emma?

211
00:14:18,065 --> 00:14:20,483
No, that is not what we're saying.

212
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,402
Yeah, he's lying. He looked down.

213
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:27,073
Well, what's wrong with me?
Am I incompetent?

214
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:30,869
Because I managed to survive whatever
it is that killed the three of you!

215
00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:38,668
You're taking this the wrong way.
We think you'll be a wonderful parent.

216
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:42,505
It's just... You're more
the, you know, fun parent.

217
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:46,885
Yeah, and we wanna make sure
Emma also has someone like Monica...

218
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,928
...who's more of a disciplinarian.

219
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:51,973
Someone who can be firm and strict.

220
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,726
That's not how you see me, is it?

221
00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:58,354
No, you're all about the fun.

222
00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:08,197
I may not know a lot about babies,
but do you really think I'm not capable?

223
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:11,117
No. You both are equally capable.

224
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,870
It's just you're strongest
when you're together.

225
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:17,916
Okay. So if we both had Emma,
and I died...

226
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,293
...she'd have to give her up.

227
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,588
Sure. Monica would have to give her up.

228
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:27,091
I lie better than that, right?

229
00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:32,430
Let me just get this straight.
So my two friends die, I get Emma.

230
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:36,684
Then my wife dies. Then Emma,
the one tiny ray of hope left in my life...

231
00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:40,355
...gets taken away from me?
- There's your movie.

232
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,736
Hey, there you are.

233
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:50,114
- You disappeared after dinner.
- Did somebody miss me?

234
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:53,242
Was there a child to raise poorly?

235
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,995
Ross and Rachel don't know
what they're saying.

236
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:58,081
It's not like they're so responsible.

237
00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:02,710
Emma is a product of a bottle of merlot
and a five-year-old condom.

238
00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:08,549
No, but they're right. I'm not a strong
father figure, and I never will be.

239
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:11,386
No, you learn these things.
You grow into it.

240
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,388
Yeah, but it's not who I am.

241
00:16:13,597 --> 00:16:18,726
Everything they said is exactly why I was
worried about having a kid. And it's true.

242
00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:21,854
- And look, everybody knows it.
- I don't know it.

243
00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:25,608
I wanna have a kid with you because
I think you'll be an amazing dad.

244
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:28,403
At the fun parts and at the hard parts.

245
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:32,115
Well, can you picture me saying,
"Go to your room, you're grounded"?

246
00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:35,326
Can you hear me say,
"You're grounded"?

247
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:37,954
You said that to me last week.

248
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:43,292
How hard is it?
"No shoes on the furniture!"

249
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:53,970
The producer from Days left a message
asking why I wasn't at the parade.

250
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:58,349
They said everybody's really pissed off
at me. And they all got to meet Santa!

251
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,437
It's okay.
I thought of the perfect lie for you.

252
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:06,107
It's easy to remember,
and it doesn't invite a lot of questions.

253
00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:10,153
You weren't at the parade,
because you had a family emergency.

254
00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:12,905
I like that! Yeah!

255
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:15,950
I wasn't at the parade,
because I had a family emergency.

256
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,201
What happened?

257
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:21,372
- My sister's raccoon came...
- No, nothing with a raccoon!

258
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:27,336
- Wait, what are you doing?
- Setting the table.

259
00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:30,882
We thought it might be nice
to use the fancy china for dessert too.

260
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:35,136
How nice. Maybe later we can all
blow our noses on my wedding dress.

261
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:44,729
Hey, dude, you okay?
Sorry about before.

262
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:49,108
That's okay. You're totally right. I don't
know anything about disciplining a child.

263
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:53,821
But it did hurt my feelings,
and I want you to know that if I die...

264
00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:56,240
...you don't get Joey.

265
00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:08,544
[SNARLS]

266
00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:12,048
In case you hadn't noticed,
I'm not talking to you.

267
00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:13,508
[SNARLS]

268
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,929
You know, this is just...
This is classic Rachel.

269
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:22,600
Right. Remember in high school when
I died and didn't give you my baby?

270
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:28,106
This might be my one chance
to have a child, Rachel.

271
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:31,359
I mean, you know that I have been
so busy focusing on my career...

272
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:35,613
- What career?
- I'm a decorator.

273
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:39,200
You decorate Dad's office
and now you're a decorator?

274
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:44,038
Okay, I went to the zoo yesterday,
now I'm a koala bear.

275
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:50,670
- Why can't you ever be supportive?
- You want to talk supportive?

276
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:54,632
You didn't come and visit me when
I was in the hospital having the baby!

277
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,803
You didn't come see me in the hospital
when I was getting my lips done!

278
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:02,473
I did the first time.

279
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:08,104
You know what? You want to know
why I am not giving Emily to you?

280
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:10,690
- Emma.
- Whose side are you on?!

281
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:16,612
I'm not giving you Emma, because you
can't handle the responsibility of a child.

282
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:19,073
Well, how hard could it be?
You do it.

283
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,117
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.

284
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:28,166
You wanna know why
you don't want me to have the baby?

285
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:30,585
Because you don't want me to be happy.

286
00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:34,380
- You have always been jealous of me.
- Jealous of what?

287
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:38,259
Of your lack of responsibility?
Your immaturity?

288
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:41,429
Your total disregard
for other people's feelings?

289
00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:43,973
To name a few.

290
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,476
You've always been like this.

291
00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:51,063
You had to have everything,
and I couldn't have anything.

292
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:54,442
Like in junior high,
when you stole Timmy from me.

293
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,486
I mean, do you even realize
how much that hurt me?

294
00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,156
Timmy was my boyfriend,
and you made out with him!

295
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:02,325
Come on, that was 20 years ago.
Get over it.

296
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:06,704
I cannot believe
that I invited you here today!

297
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:10,791
Yeah, well, you know what I cannot
believe? That my so-called sister...

298
00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:15,796
...gets a 30% discount from Ralph
Lauren, and I still have to pay retail?

299
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,049
[CHUCKLES]

300
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,759
It's 45.

301
00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:22,970
You bitch.

302
00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:27,475
You just think you're so perfect...

303
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:31,354
...with your new baby
and your small apartment.

304
00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:37,318
Well, let me tell you something.
Your baby isn't even that cute.

305
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,195
[GASPING]

306
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:43,074
Too far, Amy. Too far.

307
00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:47,328
- You take that back.
- No.

308
00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:49,956
- Take it back!
- No. What are you gonna do? Make me?

309
00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:53,084
Hey, man, I work out!

310
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,587
- So do I.
- I do Pilates.

311
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,506
- I do yoga.
- Bring it on!

312
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:01,926
Put the plates in the boxes!
Put the plates in the boxes!

313
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:06,806
- Did you just push me?
- Yeah, I think I did.

314
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:08,307
All right, that's it.

315
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:11,310
Forget the bubble wrap!
There isn't time!

316
00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:15,356
Frizzy, frizzy, frizzy!

317
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:22,822
- Shouldn't we stop this?
- Are you out of your mind?

318
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:25,366
Let's throw some Jell-O on them!

319
00:21:26,743 --> 00:21:28,494
[SPITTING]

320
00:21:29,204 --> 00:21:31,664
Gross!

321
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:48,306
All right, that is it! This is our apartment,
and you cannot behave this way!

322
00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:51,225
If you can't act your age,
you shouldn't be here at all.

323
00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:56,314
Those plates may not be as nice as
the pretty pink ones that I picked out...

324
00:21:57,190 --> 00:22:02,278
...but they're important to Monica.
And I want you to apologize to her now.

325
00:22:02,529 --> 00:22:05,072
AMY: I'm sorry.
RACHEL: Mon, I'm so sorry.

326
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,158
Okay. That's better.

327
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:10,703
Now, I want you to apologize
to each other and mean it.

328
00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:12,705
- Sorry.
- Sorry.

329
00:22:12,914 --> 00:22:16,250
By the way, that fight
was totally arousing.

330
00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:22,381
Dude, well done.

331
00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:27,636
If I die and Rachel dies and Monica dies,
you can totally take care of Emma.

332
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,139
Yeah? Well, thanks.

333
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,768
So...
So now do I get Joey?

334
00:22:35,645 --> 00:22:40,483
Okay. But you should know he eats a lot
and shoves pennies up his nose.

335
00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:47,782
- Are you okay, Mon?
- Uh-huh.

336
00:22:47,949 --> 00:22:51,660
I mean, these things happen.
I mean, it's just a plate.

337
00:22:51,828 --> 00:22:55,581
- It's not like somebody died.
- It's all right. You can mourn.

338
00:22:55,957 --> 00:22:59,919
Thank you. It was so beautiful!

339
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:04,298
I'm gonna go to Joey's
and get the pies.

340
00:23:04,508 --> 00:23:08,260
Actually, not pies. It's just pie.

341
00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:11,847
I don't care.

342
00:23:12,015 --> 00:23:15,601
Oh, my God, I've lost the will to scold.

343
00:23:19,648 --> 00:23:21,774
RACHEL:
Look, Amy...

344
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:23,818
...we got a little...

345
00:23:23,985 --> 00:23:26,821
...a little out-of-control over there.

346
00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:28,989
And I'm sorry.

347
00:23:29,157 --> 00:23:31,742
You're my sister...

348
00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:34,328
...and if it really means
that much to you...

349
00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:37,623
- So you're gonna give me the baby?
- No, I was...

350
00:23:37,791 --> 00:23:40,876
I was gonna let you use
my Ralph Lauren discount.

351
00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:45,172
You are not gonna regret this.

352
00:23:46,716 --> 00:23:47,842
[EMMA CRIES]

353
00:23:48,051 --> 00:23:51,262
- She needs changing.
- No, no, no. I'll get her.

354
00:23:51,471 --> 00:23:55,975
I am super confident, totally responsible
and fourth in line to raise Emma.

355
00:23:56,143 --> 00:24:00,521
I'll be right there, Emma! Just let me
get my trusty diaper bag here.

356
00:24:06,069 --> 00:24:09,155
Well, what do you know?
I guess I'll be the one who dies first.

357
00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:24,253
- Does Monica know about her plates?
CHANDLER: Nope.

358
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:25,963
- Broke them all, huh?
- Yep.

359
00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:28,007
- You gonna tell her?
- Nope.

360
00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:33,679
Hey. So I'm gonna
put the plates back.

361
00:24:33,847 --> 00:24:37,391
I think you're right. We shouldn't
use these plates for a long time.

362
00:24:37,601 --> 00:24:41,103
- Like only if the queen comes?
- Maybe not even then.

363
00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:43,689
Hey. I did it.

364
00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:47,401
I told my producer I had a family
emergency. He totally bought it.

365
00:24:47,569 --> 00:24:52,239
- Thanks for teaching me how to lie.
- No problem. Next week, stealing.

366
00:24:53,617 --> 00:24:56,577
- Bye, plates.
- You told her you broke all the plates?

367
00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:01,749
What?!
Something happened with the plates?

368
00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:07,129
Yeah, this raccoon came in...

369
00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:12,510
[English - US - SDH]