1
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,295
- Hey, guys...
- Wait! Let me tell them.

2
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:06,880
- Oh, sure.
- Joey's gonna be...

3
00:00:07,048 --> 00:00:08,757
...a celebrity guest on a game show.

4
00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:09,925
CHANDLER: Hey.
PHOEBE: Oh.

5
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:12,428
- Really? Which one?
MONICA: Mm-mm.

6
00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:15,097
Fish. Seaweed.

7
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:17,558
- A sunken ship.
- Things you find in the ocean.

8
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:20,436
- You're gonna be on Pyramid!
- Yeah.

9
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:24,023
- That was our favorite game show ever.
- Except for Match Game.

10
00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,607
- Or Win, Lose or Draw.
ROSS: Oh!

11
00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:27,735
What did I marry into?

12
00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:30,779
You guys wanna come
and watch me tape the show?

13
00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:33,615
Oh, we can't. We're throwing Phoebe
a bachelorette party.

14
00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:37,161
Yeah. Sorry, boys, this ride's closing.

15
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:41,915
Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid
college alumni thing.

16
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:44,918
Oh, I can't believe you get
to meet Donny Osmond.

17
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,255
- Seriously?
- Yeah-huh.

18
00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:51,925
Ross and I always wanted to be
Donny and Marie.

19
00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:53,510
ROSS:
Mm-hm.

20
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:56,096
You guys just keep getting
cooler and cooler.

21
00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,309
Yeah, we used to perform
for our family and friends.

22
00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:04,396
Oh, God, that's right. I blocked that out.

23
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,565
[SINGING]
I'm a little bit country

24
00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:09,359
[SINGING]
And I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll

25
00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:13,572
I'm leaving you.

26
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,959
[SMOOTH JAZZ MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

27
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:10,587
It's so weird to see
all these people again.

28
00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:12,798
Oh, my God, look. There's Jeffrey Klarik.

29
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:16,593
- Who?
- He was roommates with John Rosoff.

30
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:20,264
He went out with Andrea Tamborino.

31
00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:24,059
She dumped him for Michael Skloff.

32
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:28,063
Did I go to this school?

33
00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:32,651
Hey, there's Missy Goldberg.
You gotta remember her.

34
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,028
Sure. Nice.

35
00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:36,905
Dude, you're married to my sister.

36
00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:39,992
You're right. By saying "nice,"
I'm virtually licking her.

37
00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:45,414
Hey, I hear she's single again.
You think I should ask her out?

38
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,708
Are you asking permission
to break the pact?

39
00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:49,126
Yes, please.

40
00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:05,267
Hey. Hey, check out the fliers for the band.

41
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:08,604
- I made them on a Macintosh.
- Awesome.

42
00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:10,355
The name really stands out.

43
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:15,277
Thanks to a little something called
helvetica bold 24-point.

44
00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:18,155
Man, we're gonna rock
that Asian Student Union.

45
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:24,453
- Hey, guys.
BOTH: Hey, Missy.

46
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,371
Our band is playing on Friday.

47
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,457
Yeah, you should come check us out.

48
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,001
We're called Way/No Way.

49
00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:34,463
- No way.
BOTH: Way.

50
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:37,216
- Great. I'll be there.
CHANDLER: Fresh.

51
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:38,467
- Boss.
CHANDLER: Mint.

52
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,802
- She's gone.
- I know it.

53
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:46,683
- I am totally gonna ask her out.
- Dude, I was gonna ask her out.

54
00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:51,188
- I said it first, bro.
- Well, I thought it first, homes.

55
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:55,651
- Look, if you date...
- Wait! Wait! What are we doing?

56
00:03:56,319 --> 00:04:00,155
What we have is too important
to mess it up over some girl.

57
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,824
I mean, we can get laid
any time we want.

58
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,660
Totally.

59
00:04:04,827 --> 00:04:08,622
- I had sex in high school.
- Me too. I'm good at it.

60
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,834
All right, I say we make a pact.

61
00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:15,796
Neither of us will go out
with Missy Goldberg.

62
00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:18,048
You got it.

63
00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:21,677
That's Missy Goldberg, Phoebe Cates
and Molly Ringwald...

64
00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:24,054
...who we can't go out with.
- Those are the pacts.

65
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:27,182
Oh, and Sheena Easton. But we probably
couldn't get her anyway.

66
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,350
[ROSS SCOFFING]

67
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,519
ROSS:
Maybe not you.

68
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,898
Well, I officially give you permission
to break the pact.

69
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:36,400
Thank you.

70
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:45,158
All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary
it used to be going up to girls in college?

71
00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:48,704
- Your hands are shaking.
- I know. And I can't stop sweating.

72
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:52,708
STAGE MANAGER:
Five, four, three. Applause.

73
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:56,044
[CROWD CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]

74
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,756
Yeah!

75
00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:02,926
Welcome. It is Soap Opera Week
here on Pyramid.

76
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:06,805
Let's meet our contestants.
First, Gene Lester is a database specialist.

77
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,808
He's gonna be playing with
Days of Our Lives star Joey Tribbiani.

78
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:13,061
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]

79
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,772
DONNY:
And over here, we have Henrietta Cherry.

80
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:19,735
I know it can be intimidating for
regular people to be around celebrities...

81
00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:24,156
...but relax. I'm just like you,
only better-looking and richer.

82
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:28,618
DONNY: She'll be playing with star
of General Hospital Leslie Charleson.

83
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,454
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]

84
00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:33,665
Welcome, everybody. Good luck
to all of you. Let's play Pyramid.

85
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:37,461
All right? Now, we flipped a coin
before the show.

86
00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:40,464
Gene, you won the toss,
so you'll start. Which category?

87
00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:43,467
- "You Crossed the Line."
DONNY: "You Crossed the Line." Joey...

88
00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:46,803
...describe for Gene these things
that have lines.

89
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:50,766
Give me 20 seconds on the clock,
please. Ready? Go.

90
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:52,934
Uh, okay,
it's a store like a supermarket.

91
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:54,144
[WARBLE PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]

92
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:58,857
Oh. I see what I did there. Okay, okay.
Uh, I'm writing in my...

93
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,484
- Diary.
- No, more like a notebook.

94
00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:01,693
[WARBLE PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]

95
00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:02,944
Damn it. Okay.

96
00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:07,199
Um, oh, if I'm building a house,
the plan...

97
00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:09,201
...isn't called a "shmooprint"...

98
00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:10,452
[WARBLE PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]

99
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,287
I can't do that either?

100
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:17,667
Oh, in high school, I once had sex
with a girl right in the middle of the?

101
00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:20,003
- Cafeteria?
- Yeah, but they're not looking for that.

102
00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:21,213
[TONE PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]

103
00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:22,464
JOEY & AUDIENCE:
Aw...

104
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:23,965
[JOEY SIGHS]

105
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:29,179
- Thank you so much for this.
- Aw, you like it?

106
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,223
Oh, my God, it's all so elegant.

107
00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:32,474
- Hee, hee.
RACHEL: Aw.

108
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,810
When's the dirty stuff starting?

109
00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:39,064
- What?
- The strippers and the guys dancing...

110
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,857
...and, you know,
pee-pees flying about.

111
00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:42,442
RACHEL:
Oh!

112
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:48,824
Pheebs, I... There isn't gonna be
any "flying about." Ha, ha.

113
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:52,160
We thought we were
a little too mature for stuff like that.

114
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,496
Oh, okay.

115
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:59,543
I see what you're doing. That's fine.
This is all there is. Just tea. Okay.

116
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,338
[IN BRITISH ACCENT]
Mm, raunchy.

117
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:06,007
[CHUCKLING]

118
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:10,011
Seriously, Pheebs, it's not gonna be
that kind of a party.

119
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:13,515
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Really? So this is?

120
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:16,226
This is my big sendoff into
married life?

121
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:19,521
Rachel, this is the only
bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have.

122
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,857
I've got a big wad of ones in my purse.

123
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:28,363
Really? I mean, really? It's just tea?

124
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,741
No.

125
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:32,951
[SCOFFS]

126
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,954
- Phoebe, of course there's more.
- Okay.

127
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:39,082
I mean,
let me just go talk to Monica...

128
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:42,043
...and get an ETA on the pee-pees. Heh.

129
00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:49,009
DONNY: Now, Gene, I must remind you,
you need all six of these to stay in the game.

130
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:53,096
Describe for Joey
"things you find in your refrigerator."

131
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,808
Bah, they might as well
just give us the points. Ha-ha-ha.

132
00:07:57,059 --> 00:08:00,061
Give me 20 seconds on the clock.
Ready? Go.

133
00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:04,399
- You put this in your coffee.
- Uh, a spoon. Your hands. Your face.

134
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:08,403
- It's white.
- Paper. Snow. A ghost!

135
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:12,491
- It's heavier than milk.
- A rock. A dog. The Earth. Heh, heh.

136
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:13,992
- Pass.
- Ugh.

137
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:17,621
- You put it on a sandwich.
- Salami. Anchovies. Jam.

138
00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:21,416
- It's white.
- Paper. Snow. A ghost!

139
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:24,252
- It's made from eggs.
- Chickens?

140
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,921
- Pass.
- Ugh.

141
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:28,798
- You put this on a hamburger. Yes!
- Ketchup! Relish!

142
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,091
- Stop!
- Oh.

143
00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:31,259
[TONE PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]

144
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:34,638
Oh, time's up.
Well, Joey, you were, uh...

145
00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:37,265
...almost on a roll there, ha-ha-ha.
- Yeah.

146
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:41,436
Gene, you'll have a chance to go to
the Winner's Circle, but now...

147
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:46,399
...Henrietta, you're going to the Winner's
Circle to try your luck for $10,000...

148
00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:48,818
...right after this. Don't go away.

149
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:51,279
And we're out.

150
00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:54,282
Oh, so we didn't win.
But it's fun to play the game, right?

151
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:55,659
GENE:
Hey.

152
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,621
I got a kid starting college.
I have to get surgery on my knee.

153
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,498
You just lost me 10 grand.

154
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,334
Oh, wow.

155
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:08,547
I'm so sorry. Okay, I promise,
we'll do better next time.

156
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:11,424
Well, I will, because I won't be
playing with you.

157
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:14,761
Hey, some of those were pretty hard.

158
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:18,223
Like, why would there be
a ghost in my fridge?

159
00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:21,726
Yeah.

160
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:25,480
- So Saturday night?
- I'd love to.

161
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,232
Great.

162
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:32,404
So how come it took you so long
to ask me out?

163
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,906
Oh, well, uh,
this is gonna sound kind of silly...

164
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:38,076
...but do you remember
my roommate, Chandler Bing?

165
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,620
Sure. He was in your "band."

166
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:47,252
It's been 16 years,
but the air quotes still hurt. Heh.

167
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,212
- Sorry.
- That's okay. Um, anyway...

168
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:52,841
Ahem, well, he and I
both really liked you a lot, um...

169
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:56,720
...but we didn't want it to jeopardize
our friendship, so we made a pact...

170
00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:59,347
...that neither of us could ask you out.

171
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:02,267
- Really?
- Yeah, why?

172
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:06,146
Well, Chandler and I used to make out.

173
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,064
A lot.

174
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,152
- You did?
- Yeah.

175
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:16,531
- We'd go to the science lab after-hours.
- And on my turf?!

176
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:23,330
Hey. Hey, where is this guy?
It's been over an hour.

177
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:26,625
He's coming from Jersey.
He said he'd get here as fast as he could.

178
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,043
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

179
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,878
- Who is it?
MAN: It's the police.

180
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:32,422
- The police!
PHOEBE: Oh!

181
00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:34,924
[RACHEL GASPS]
[PHOEBE GIGGLES]

182
00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:38,678
MAN:
That's right. It's Officer Goodbody.

183
00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:41,848
What's the matter, officer?
Has someone been bad?

184
00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,942
[GOODBODY COUGHS]

185
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,987
Whew, that's a lot of stairs.

186
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:06,665
Oh, boy. You should warn people
there's no elevator.

187
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,334
[GOODBODY GROANS]

188
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:13,588
I should not have had
that Mexican food for lunch.

189
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:17,801
- Oh.
- Are you gonna be okay, Officer, uh?

190
00:11:17,968 --> 00:11:21,054
- Goodbody.
- If you say so.

191
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,850
So where's the young lady...

192
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:30,605
...who I am supposed to take
downtown?

193
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:35,151
Oh, God.

194
00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:39,781
All right. Somebody show me
where to plug in my box...

195
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,658
...and we'll get this party started.

196
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:42,951
Wah!

197
00:11:45,746 --> 00:11:46,955
- Over here?
MONICA: Yeah.

198
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,290
GOODBODY: All right.
- Rachel?

199
00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:53,211
- Yeah?
- Um, are you kidding?

200
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:56,673
We didn't know you wanted a stripper,
so we got the phone book...

201
00:11:56,841 --> 00:12:00,677
...and got the first name we could find.
- How old's your phone book?

202
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:05,515
Oh, my God, this man is gonna
get naked in my apartment.

203
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:08,560
God, no. I don't wanna see him
take his clothes off.

204
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,687
Are you talking about me?

205
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,523
Oh, no.

206
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:18,236
I mean, obviously we wanna see you
take your clothes off.

207
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,739
You big piece of eye candy.

208
00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:27,704
Okay. Okay, ladies,
can I have your attention, please?

209
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,664
PHOEBE: Oh, yeah.
RACHEL: Oh.

210
00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:37,505
Did someone call
for the long arm of the law?

211
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:44,262
I should warn you,
I have a concealed weapon.

212
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:52,520
I hope you're familiar
with this state's penal code.

213
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,066
Okay, okay. Enough teasing.

214
00:12:57,234 --> 00:13:00,361
Now for some pleasing.

215
00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:03,948
[SOFT CELL'S "TAINTED LOVE"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

216
00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:10,872
Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

217
00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:14,876
Sometimes I feel I've got to

218
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:20,507
Run away
I've got to get away

219
00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:24,636
From the pain you drive
Into the heart of me

220
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:28,473
The love we share
Seems to go

221
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:29,891
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

222
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:31,684
She cringed.

223
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:36,314
This is how I look when I'm turned on.

224
00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,068
You were talking about me before.

225
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:43,780
Look, I don't need this. I'm out of here.
Where's my hat?

226
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:48,743
Look, I've been in this business
for a long time.

227
00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:50,703
Shocking.

228
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:55,792
Now, if you'll just pay me my $300,
I'll be on my way.

229
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,962
- $300? Are you kidding?
- That's okay. Let me get my checkbook.

230
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,464
You're not gonna pay him.
He didn't do anything.

231
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:06,052
Didn't do anything? I took a bus
all the way from Hoboken.

232
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:09,639
I climbed, I don't know,
like, a billion stairs.

233
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:12,433
And it's not like I can
take them two at a time.

234
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:18,773
I don't care.
We're not paying you $300 for this.

235
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:21,651
It's not my fault if you're
too uptight to appreciate...

236
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:24,737
...the male form in all its glory.

237
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:28,700
Okay, I'm uptight. That's why I don't
wanna watch a middle-aged guy...

238
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:33,788
...dance around in what I can only
assume is a child's Halloween costume.

239
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:39,627
I may have borrowed this
from my nephew...

240
00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:44,966
...but let me assure you,
what's underneath is all man.

241
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:48,136
I'm sorry, did you say "all man"
or "old man"?

242
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:50,805
Whoa!

243
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:53,057
You're mean.

244
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,476
- Uh, look, uh, officer, um... Sir?
GOODBODY: Damn it.

245
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:56,644
Listen.

246
00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:58,980
[SOBBING]

247
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:02,859
Big surprise.
The hunk of beef has feelings.

248
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,154
STAGE MANAGER:
Applause.

249
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:07,363
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

250
00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:10,658
Okay, Henrietta, you picked
"Jack and Jill Went Up The Hill."

251
00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:14,829
Oh. My friend Rachel has a kid.
I totally know nursery rhymes.

252
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:19,208
Joey, describe these things associated
with the United States Congress.

253
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,422
Give me 20 seconds
on the clock, please.

254
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,883
Ready? Go.

255
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:30,261
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]

256
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,847
Uh... Uh...

257
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:39,687
Pass.

258
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:43,274
- Uh, the thing hanging in your throat.
- Uvula.

259
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,443
Oh, then pass.

260
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:46,653
Aw...

261
00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:49,864
Okay. Henrietta, you didn't get
all the points you needed...

262
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:53,534
...so that means, Gene, you are going to
the Winner's Circle to try for $10,000.

263
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:55,036
[AUDIENCE CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]

264
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:58,748
And you're gonna be
going there with Joey Tribbiani.

265
00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:04,087
You made out with Missy Goldberg?

266
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:07,423
How could you do that
after you promised me?

267
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,009
Excuse me.

268
00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:13,304
That didn't make us sound gay at all.

269
00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:16,599
- You broke the pact.
- Ross, that was 16 years ago.

270
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:20,311
That doesn't matter. We're talking
about the foundation of our friendship.

271
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:24,440
I believe the foundation of our friendship
was unfortunate hair.

272
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:30,196
If we're really gonna do this, it's not
like you never broke one of the pacts.

273
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:31,906
- I didn't.
- Oh, really?

274
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,449
- No.
- Oh, really?

275
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:35,243
- No!
- Adrienne Turner!

276
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,078
Yes?

277
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,414
[IN UNISON]
Hey, Adrienne.

278
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:41,082
Hey.

279
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:44,293
I never did anything
with Adrienne Turner.

280
00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,754
Oh, please. And you knew
how much I liked her.

281
00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:48,881
I don't know
what you're talking about.

282
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,967
Really? Remember
that party freshman year?

283
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,927
A week before Christmas vacation?

284
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,095
I do.

285
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:55,304
You had some visitors.

286
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:58,599
[AFTER THE FIRE'S "DER KOMMISSAR"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

287
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,605
I can't believe we're
at a real college party.

288
00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:05,773
[RACHEL GIGGLING]

289
00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:08,276
I have to pee so bad.

290
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,486
This is so awesome.

291
00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:13,031
College guys are so cute.

292
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:15,575
- Hey, you've got a boyfriend.
- I know.

293
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:19,620
But if a guy who looks like Corey Haim
wants to kiss me, I am so gonna let him.

294
00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:21,122
[CHUCKLES]

295
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:25,001
Hey, look, there's Chandler.

296
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:30,631
That stupid friend of Ross'
who said I was fat.

297
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:33,801
- I've already lost four pounds.
- You can so totally tell.

298
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:35,845
I know!

299
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,640
Well, let's see,
maybe he knows where Ross is.

300
00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:42,643
Der Kommissar's in town, uh-oh

301
00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:44,771
Hey, how's it going?

302
00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:46,314
- Aren't you?
- Yeah, Rachel.

303
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:50,318
And this is Ross' sister, Monica.
We met at Thanksgiving.

304
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,612
Right. So how you doing?

305
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:54,363
Bitchen.

306
00:17:55,365 --> 00:17:57,492
- Hi, Monica.
- Hi, Chandler.

307
00:17:57,659 --> 00:17:59,827
It's really nice to see you. Not!

308
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:01,245
[MONICA SNORTS]

309
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:03,122
[RACHEL GIGGLES]

310
00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:04,499
Okay.

311
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,876
I'll see if I can find Ross.

312
00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:10,171
Oh, my God, Rach. Beanbag chairs.

313
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:11,339
RACHEL:
Oh.

314
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:15,051
Do not let me sit in one of those.
We'll be here for days.

315
00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:19,305
Don't turn around, uh-oh

316
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:23,351
Listen, Adrienne,
you can't tell Chandler about this.

317
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:27,814
Oh, believe me, Ross,
I won't be telling anybody about this.

318
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:30,858
Cool.

319
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,904
Don't turn around, uh-oh

320
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,740
Der Kommissar's in town

321
00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:41,410
I didn't know you knew about that.

322
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:44,205
Well, I did. And it hurt.

323
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:48,000
That's when I wrote the song
"Betrayal in the Common Room."

324
00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:50,002
[SIGHS]

325
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:52,755
Man, I'm sorry.

326
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:56,342
Look, that was a long time ago.

327
00:18:56,510 --> 00:19:00,513
So, I made out with Adrienne,
and you made out with Missy.

328
00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:01,806
[ROSS CHUCKLES]

329
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,349
Well, I guess we're even.

330
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,853
CHANDLER:
Mm-hm.

331
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:10,148
We are even, right?

332
00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:12,733
[CHANDLER SIGHS]

333
00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:17,071
One more thing. I was so pissed at you
that night, I wanted to get back at you.

334
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:20,408
So I thought, "Who does Ross
like more than anybody?"

335
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:25,788
What did you do to my mom?

336
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:31,669
Not her.

337
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:36,507
[LIPPS, INC.'S "FUNKYTOWN"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

338
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:42,138
Talk about it, talk about it
Talk about movin'

339
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,101
Gotta move on

340
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,145
I am so drunk.

341
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:50,354
Gotta move on

342
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:55,610
That's weird. I've had the same number
of beers as you and I don't feel anything.

343
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,737
So you girls having fun?

344
00:19:57,946 --> 00:20:00,114
For your information, ass-munch...

345
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:04,952
...I've lost four pounds.
Maybe even five with all the dancing.

346
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:09,373
- Somebody order a pizza?
- Oh, that's me!

347
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:12,793
Won't you take me to
Funkytown?

348
00:20:12,961 --> 00:20:16,964
I am so not gonna do good
on my SATs tomorrow.

349
00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:21,761
Well, maybe you could go to school here
next year and we could totally hang out.

350
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,471
Oh, yeah. There's a plan.

351
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,806
Why don't I just start taking
my smart pills now?

352
00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,058
[SCOFFS]

353
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,894
Well, maybe you could get in
on a beauty scholarship.

354
00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:31,145
[CHUCKLES]

355
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:32,939
What a line.

356
00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:35,942
[WHISPERS]
Oh, my God.

357
00:20:36,985 --> 00:20:40,071
- So where are you applying to?
- [IN NORMAL VOICE] Um, well...

358
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:44,367
...I think it's kind of really important
that I go somewhere where there's sun.

359
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:47,411
So I'm sort of... Hey!

360
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,372
I'm in college and I'm in a band.

361
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,083
Yeah, okay.

362
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:56,128
Won't you take me to
Funkytown?

363
00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:04,136
What's the matter? You never saw
a 50-year-old stripper cry before?

364
00:21:06,181 --> 00:21:07,974
You know, it's fine. We'll pay you.

365
00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:11,352
No, no, you're right. Who am I kidding?

366
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:15,231
I should have hung up
that breakaway jockstrap years ago.

367
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:20,653
What am I gonna do? I mean...

368
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,614
...this has been my life for 32 years.

369
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:27,785
Taking my clothes off
in front of people is all I know.

370
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:31,038
No, there's gotta be something else
that you can do.

371
00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:33,749
I mean, what skills do you have?

372
00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:35,793
I don't know.

373
00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:39,463
I can make my pecs dance.

374
00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:46,804
I can pick up a dollar bill
with my butt cheeks.

375
00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:53,311
I can go to that special place
inside me where I feel no shame.

376
00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:57,898
So maybe something in an office.

377
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:01,610
Or you could...
You could teach stripping.

378
00:22:01,778 --> 00:22:05,406
You know, share your gift.
Pass the torch.

379
00:22:07,242 --> 00:22:09,869
You know, actually,
that's not a bad idea.

380
00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:14,415
I could do it out of my apartment.
I don't think my mom would mind.

381
00:22:15,375 --> 00:22:18,127
There you go. Okay.
You think you're gonna be okay?

382
00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:20,338
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.

383
00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:22,757
This is so weird.

384
00:22:22,924 --> 00:22:25,343
You never know when it's gonna be
your last dance.

385
00:22:26,803 --> 00:22:29,764
And I didn't even get a chance
to finish it.

386
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:34,852
Finish it.

387
00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:39,982
- What?
- Your last dance. Do it for us.

388
00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:43,861
- Really?
- Really?

389
00:22:45,405 --> 00:22:50,284
Yeah. Yeah, he deserves to do
the thing he loves one last time.

390
00:22:51,495 --> 00:22:54,330
Okay. All right. Get ready, ladies.

391
00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:55,581
Okay.

392
00:22:55,749 --> 00:22:58,876
[SYLVESTER'S "YOU MAKE ME FEEL
MIGHTY REAL" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

393
00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:07,385
Whoa, you make me feel

394
00:23:07,552 --> 00:23:08,552
Whoo!

395
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,097
Mighty real

396
00:23:11,848 --> 00:23:14,558
You make me feel

397
00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:18,312
Mighty real

398
00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:23,943
[WOMEN CHEERING]

399
00:23:28,990 --> 00:23:30,908
Oh, this is so hot!

400
00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:35,413
[GOODBODY PANTING]

401
00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:38,040
Oh, no, no, no, don't stop.

402
00:23:38,208 --> 00:23:40,376
- Have to.
- Oh.

403
00:23:41,002 --> 00:23:42,837
I feel real

404
00:23:43,004 --> 00:23:44,171
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

405
00:23:44,339 --> 00:23:47,174
Welcome to the Winner's Circle.
Joey, Gene, you guys ready?

406
00:23:47,342 --> 00:23:49,343
- Yeah.
- Sure.

407
00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:53,180
Okay. Uh, give me 60 seconds
on the clock, please.

408
00:23:53,348 --> 00:23:55,808
Ready? Go.

409
00:23:56,977 --> 00:23:59,979
Oak. Maple. Elm. Birch.

410
00:24:00,188 --> 00:24:02,022
Uh, I don't know. Types of trees?

411
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:04,316
[CHIME PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]

412
00:24:04,484 --> 00:24:06,193
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

413
00:24:06,361 --> 00:24:08,320
Enchilada.

414
00:24:08,488 --> 00:24:10,489
Oh, I'm so sorry,
I don't know any Spanish words.

415
00:24:10,657 --> 00:24:12,324
[CHIME PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]

416
00:24:12,492 --> 00:24:13,534
Wow.

417
00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:15,202
A match. A candle.

418
00:24:15,370 --> 00:24:17,371
Things that go "tss"
when you put them out.

419
00:24:17,539 --> 00:24:19,748
- A torch. A bonfire.
- Uh, I...

420
00:24:19,916 --> 00:24:21,876
- Uh, your pee.
- Things that burn.

421
00:24:22,043 --> 00:24:24,545
[CHIME PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]

422
00:24:24,713 --> 00:24:27,381
"I'd like to go for a walk."
Uh, "scratch my belly."

423
00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:29,550
Dude. Dude, I think you're losing it.

424
00:24:29,718 --> 00:24:31,552
Uh, "I have fur." Uh, "I like to bark."

425
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,179
Oh, oh, oh! What a dog says.

426
00:24:33,346 --> 00:24:34,388
[CHIME PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]

427
00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:36,515
- Uh, pepperoni.
- Pizza toppings! Next!

428
00:24:36,683 --> 00:24:38,225
[CHIME PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
[AUDIENCE CHEERS]

429
00:24:38,393 --> 00:24:41,896
Cindy Crawford. Uh, Christie Brinkley.
Heidi Klum. Claudia Schiffer.

430
00:24:42,063 --> 00:24:43,522
Oh, oh, oh. Uh...

431
00:24:43,690 --> 00:24:46,066
Christy Turlington. Uh, Kate Moss.

432
00:24:46,234 --> 00:24:47,526
Girls Chandler could never get?

433
00:24:47,694 --> 00:24:49,069
[TONE PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]

434
00:24:49,237 --> 00:24:50,821
- Supermodels.
- Where?

435
00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:57,369
Hey. Where's Rachel?

436
00:24:57,746 --> 00:25:00,623
She and Phoebe took the stripper
to the hospital.

437
00:25:02,542 --> 00:25:04,793
Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel?

438
00:25:04,961 --> 00:25:07,087
What? When was this?

439
00:25:07,255 --> 00:25:11,091
1987. The weekend you guys
visited me at school.

440
00:25:11,259 --> 00:25:14,762
- Oh, my God. That's wild.
- But it was, like, a million years ago.

441
00:25:14,971 --> 00:25:16,764
- It doesn't matter.
- It matters to me.

442
00:25:16,932 --> 00:25:19,099
- Why?
- Because the night you kissed Rachel...

443
00:25:19,267 --> 00:25:22,353
...was the night I kissed Rachel
for the very first time.

444
00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:26,190
- You kissed her that night too?
- Two guys in one night?

445
00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:30,444
Wow, I thought she became a slut
after she got her nose fixed. Wow.

446
00:25:31,112 --> 00:25:33,239
- Seriously, where did this happen?
- Okay...

447
00:25:33,406 --> 00:25:35,950
...after you told me she was
passed out in our room...

448
00:25:36,117 --> 00:25:38,702
...I went in there to make sure
she was all right.

449
00:25:38,870 --> 00:25:42,414
She was lying on my bed,
all buried in people's coats.

450
00:25:42,582 --> 00:25:44,458
I went to kiss her on the forehead...

451
00:25:44,626 --> 00:25:47,086
...but it was so dark,
I accidentally got her lips.

452
00:25:47,254 --> 00:25:51,006
I started to pull away, but then
I felt her start to kiss me back.

453
00:25:51,174 --> 00:25:54,343
It was only for a second,
but it was amazing.

454
00:25:54,511 --> 00:25:57,805
And now I find out
that you kissed her first.

455
00:25:58,014 --> 00:26:01,141
- Wait, what bed did you say she was on?
- Mine.

456
00:26:01,309 --> 00:26:04,645
- I'm sure I put her on my bed.
- No, she was definitely on my bed.

457
00:26:04,813 --> 00:26:08,399
Why would I kiss a girl
and then put her on your bed?

458
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:10,067
Well, then who was on my bed?

459
00:26:10,277 --> 00:26:12,903
Oh! Oh! Oh!

460
00:26:14,030 --> 00:26:15,823
No! No! No!

461
00:26:16,032 --> 00:26:18,450
Yes!

462
00:26:18,618 --> 00:26:23,038
- You were under the pile of coats?
- I was the pile of coats!

463
00:26:26,376 --> 00:26:28,544
Oh, my God!

464
00:26:29,045 --> 00:26:32,548
You were my midnight mystery kisser?!

465
00:26:33,633 --> 00:26:36,343
You were my first kiss with Rachel?!

466
00:26:37,554 --> 00:26:40,097
You were my first kiss ever?!

467
00:26:42,642 --> 00:26:45,102
What did I marry into?!

468
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:54,486
[THE TRAMMPS' "DISCO INFERNO"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

469
00:27:06,916 --> 00:27:10,044
[FINGERS SNAPPING]

470
00:27:19,554 --> 00:27:20,888
Aw, crap!

471
00:27:21,056 --> 00:27:22,931
Burn, baby, burn

472
00:27:24,726 --> 00:27:26,727
[English - US - SDH]