1 00:00:03,447 --> 00:00:04,550 Thank you guys for having us over. 2 00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:08,722 - Yeah, this is fun, couples night. - I don't know why we don't hang out... 3 00:00:08,722 --> 00:00:11,278 - ...with married couples more often. - Because every time we do... 4 00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:14,150 ...you make jokes about swinging and scare them away. 5 00:00:16,608 --> 00:00:19,902 You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it. 6 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,718 Hey, you guys, I have great news. 7 00:00:25,307 --> 00:00:29,475 - We're kind of in the middle of dinner. - Oh, well, I already ate, but sure. 8 00:00:32,547 --> 00:00:33,740 Guess what happened at work today. 9 00:00:34,070 --> 00:00:35,781 A dinosaur died a million years ago? 10 00:00:37,064 --> 00:00:39,830 Try 65 million years ago. And then try: 11 00:00:42,451 --> 00:00:46,543 My tenure review board met today, and I hear it's looking really good. 12 00:00:48,305 --> 00:00:50,460 Yeah, do you have any idea what this means in academic circles? 13 00:00:50,849 --> 00:00:52,773 I am gonna get laid. 14 00:00:55,767 --> 00:00:57,258 - Hi, you guys. - Hey. 15 00:00:57,711 --> 00:00:58,802 Oh, Italian. 16 00:00:59,992 --> 00:01:01,656 No one-- No one wanted seconds, right? 17 00:01:02,016 --> 00:01:03,166 No, I'm good. 18 00:01:04,509 --> 00:01:06,713 Guys, you're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. 19 00:01:07,125 --> 00:01:10,669 I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me. 20 00:01:11,418 --> 00:01:13,353 - I'm up for tenure. - Congratulations. 21 00:01:13,602 --> 00:01:15,020 You too. What are the odds? 22 00:01:16,356 --> 00:01:17,294 Guess what? 23 00:01:18,683 --> 00:01:20,640 I finally got that seed out of my teeth. 24 00:01:23,775 --> 00:01:25,349 I don't know who I'm happiest for. 25 00:01:25,882 --> 00:01:28,062 I do. He's been working on that all day. 26 00:01:30,365 --> 00:01:33,804 The one with Princess Consuela 27 00:02:20,082 --> 00:02:22,847 Hey, Mon, was it weird changing your name to Geller Bing? 28 00:02:23,809 --> 00:02:26,543 No. No, it felt nice to acknowledge this. 29 00:02:26,788 --> 00:02:29,688 - Where'd you go to do it? - The-- 30 00:02:30,055 --> 00:02:32,192 The Ministry of Names... 31 00:02:34,394 --> 00:02:35,846 ...Bureau. 32 00:02:37,154 --> 00:02:38,336 You never did it. 33 00:02:38,790 --> 00:02:40,602 I'm sorry. It's just the idea of-- 34 00:02:40,813 --> 00:02:42,772 Of being an official Bing. 35 00:02:45,261 --> 00:02:47,098 Hey, I will have you know that-- 36 00:02:48,373 --> 00:02:51,458 Who am I kidding? Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me. 37 00:02:54,011 --> 00:02:55,276 - Here you go. - Thanks. 38 00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:57,027 Honey, would you want me to take your name? 39 00:02:57,946 --> 00:03:00,533 Oh, it's up to you. It's your name. You've gotta live with it. 40 00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:03,906 - Let's see. Call me Mrs. Hannigan. - Mrs. Hannigan? 41 00:03:04,387 --> 00:03:06,047 Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? 42 00:03:08,381 --> 00:03:09,405 I like it. 43 00:03:11,010 --> 00:03:12,349 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Joe. 44 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:15,090 We got things to check out at the new house. You want to come? 45 00:03:15,090 --> 00:03:19,298 - No, thank you. - You're not happy about us moving... 46 00:03:19,510 --> 00:03:21,010 ...but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house. 47 00:03:21,550 --> 00:03:23,053 Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is. 48 00:03:23,053 --> 00:03:26,690 No, it's not close. You said it was in escrow. 49 00:03:27,331 --> 00:03:28,567 I couldn't even find that on the map. 50 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:34,801 No Joey,escrow is.. 51 00:03:39,565 --> 00:03:40,508 There's money and.. 52 00:03:42,385 --> 00:03:45,800 It's not the bank exactly I don't know what it is 53 00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:49,917 Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us. 54 00:03:52,239 --> 00:03:55,903 You know what? You are my friends. I want to be supportive. 55 00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:57,446 I will come with you. Shotgun. 56 00:03:57,808 --> 00:03:58,690 Damn it. 57 00:03:59,542 --> 00:04:01,204 See you guys later. We'll pick you up at 11. 58 00:04:01,468 --> 00:04:02,714 - So glad you're coming. - All right. 59 00:04:05,088 --> 00:04:08,384 - Good for you. That was really mature. - What? The only reason I'm going... 60 00:04:08,384 --> 00:04:11,878 ...to their stupid house is to point out everything wrong with it... 61 00:04:11,878 --> 00:04:13,681 ...so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here. 62 00:04:14,703 --> 00:04:16,183 You're a strange kind of grownup. 63 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:21,902 Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. 64 00:04:22,434 --> 00:04:25,350 Believe me. There's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed, and-- 65 00:04:27,429 --> 00:04:30,941 - Can we not talk about that now? - All right. Prude. 66 00:04:34,016 --> 00:04:36,420 Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. 67 00:04:36,829 --> 00:04:38,428 You are not gonna talk them into staying here. 68 00:04:38,962 --> 00:04:41,572 Hey, I can convince people to do anything, you know? 69 00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:43,930 I bet I could even get Mike to do that thing. What is it? 70 00:04:47,832 --> 00:04:50,050 I am not gonna help you do that! 71 00:04:50,716 --> 00:04:52,057 Oh, my God. 72 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:02,603 Hi. I'm here to see Mr. Campbell, with Gucci. 73 00:05:02,815 --> 00:05:05,654 The reservation's probably under Gucci. 74 00:05:06,521 --> 00:05:08,951 It's spelled like "gucky," which can be confusing. 75 00:05:10,774 --> 00:05:13,328 Mr. Campbell's not here yet. Let me show you to his table. 76 00:05:17,989 --> 00:05:20,967 Oh, my God. That's my boss. You have to seat us somewhere else. 77 00:05:21,459 --> 00:05:23,704 I'm sorry, that's always Mr. Campbell's table. 78 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:27,788 But my boss cannot see me. I'm interviewing for another job. 79 00:05:28,068 --> 00:05:29,832 I know. With "gucky." 80 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,219 - Rachel? - I'm on a date. 81 00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:38,887 That's great. 82 00:05:39,312 --> 00:05:43,020 Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom. Career. 83 00:05:43,020 --> 00:05:44,362 You gotta get out there. 84 00:05:45,966 --> 00:05:48,228 Well, you've got a good energy. 85 00:05:49,477 --> 00:05:50,983 - Rachel? - Yes, hi. 86 00:05:50,983 --> 00:05:52,762 - James Campbell. - Hi. 87 00:05:53,076 --> 00:05:54,376 - Excuse us. - Please. 88 00:05:58,132 --> 00:05:59,145 He's cute. 89 00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:08,640 So... 90 00:06:08,946 --> 00:06:10,850 ...your résumé is quite impressive. 91 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,468 My résumé? 92 00:06:15,657 --> 00:06:19,905 I wouldn't-- I wouldn't call my online dating profile a résumé. 93 00:06:21,363 --> 00:06:24,267 Dating profile? No, I'm-- I'm talking about the work résumé. 94 00:06:28,496 --> 00:06:30,638 Whatever happened to just singing for no reason? 95 00:06:32,542 --> 00:06:34,524 Maybe people found it weird. 96 00:06:37,184 --> 00:06:38,390 So... 97 00:06:39,803 --> 00:06:42,215 - Why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren? - What? 98 00:06:43,408 --> 00:06:44,839 - I don't. - You don't? 99 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:46,281 No, I love-- I love it there. 100 00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:48,686 Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch? 101 00:06:52,897 --> 00:06:53,946 What? 102 00:06:56,103 --> 00:06:57,632 That's Hugo Boss? 103 00:07:01,763 --> 00:07:06,781 I believe what she's trying to tell you is that I'm her boss 104 00:07:07,867 --> 00:07:11,467 Mr.Boss,it is a pleasure to meet you 105 00:07:22,856 --> 00:07:26,221 This place is so depressing. If I had to work here, I'd kill myself. 106 00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:31,204 But you obviously haven't. 107 00:07:34,013 --> 00:07:36,465 - How can I help you? - I need to change my name, please. 108 00:07:37,097 --> 00:07:39,299 See, I need to change it because I'm hiding from the law. 109 00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:43,654 You're fun. 110 00:07:45,189 --> 00:07:47,841 - You need to fill out this form. - Okay. Well, just so I know-- 111 00:07:47,841 --> 00:07:50,365 I don't know how it works. My name is Buffay... 112 00:07:50,614 --> 00:07:51,878 ...and my husband's name is Hannigan. 113 00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:54,884 So is it supposed to be "Buffay-Hannigan" or "Hannigan-Buffay"? 114 00:07:55,644 --> 00:07:57,885 - It can be anything you want. - Well, not anything. 115 00:07:58,796 --> 00:08:00,239 Yeah. Anything. 116 00:08:02,314 --> 00:08:03,585 Oh, this could take a while. 117 00:08:06,179 --> 00:08:07,460 - Get out of my line. - Okay. 118 00:08:13,098 --> 00:08:14,559 - Hey. - Hey, Pheebs. 119 00:08:14,808 --> 00:08:16,752 Oh, not anymore. I changed it today. 120 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,889 - Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Hannigan. - Wrong again. 121 00:08:23,032 --> 00:08:24,657 Apparently, you can change it to anything. 122 00:08:24,657 --> 00:08:27,486 So I thought, "All right, here's an opportunity to be creative." 123 00:08:28,597 --> 00:08:31,793 So meet Princess Consuela Bananahammock. 124 00:08:39,395 --> 00:08:40,950 That's what we were gonna name the baby. 125 00:08:43,453 --> 00:08:45,965 - Phoebe. - Princess Consuela. 126 00:08:47,930 --> 00:08:49,785 You seriously changed your name to that? 127 00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,978 Okay, so from now on, we have to call you Princess Consuela? 128 00:08:53,604 --> 00:08:55,685 No, I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie. 129 00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:03,834 - Hey, how did the interview go? - Not good. 130 00:09:04,572 --> 00:09:07,542 I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think. 131 00:09:08,017 --> 00:09:12,715 Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren. 132 00:09:13,945 --> 00:09:15,172 That is a bad interview. 133 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,493 What are you talking about? How did this happen? 134 00:09:18,883 --> 00:09:22,848 My boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview... 135 00:09:22,848 --> 00:09:24,045 ...and he heard everything. 136 00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:27,728 Later, he calls me into his office and tells me he'll have to let me go... 137 00:09:27,946 --> 00:09:29,847 ... because I'm not a team player. 138 00:09:30,441 --> 00:09:31,890 And I said, "Wait a minute. Yes, I am." 139 00:09:32,378 --> 00:09:34,527 And then I had to sit there for 45 minutes... 140 00:09:34,796 --> 00:09:38,893 ...while he proved that that, in fact, was true. 141 00:09:41,244 --> 00:09:42,299 Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 142 00:09:43,759 --> 00:09:44,710 Hey. 143 00:09:45,859 --> 00:09:47,904 What--? What's this? 144 00:09:49,517 --> 00:09:52,601 Why, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here? 145 00:09:53,164 --> 00:09:54,263 - Ross. - I guess it's here... 146 00:09:54,263 --> 00:09:56,545 ...because I got tenure! 147 00:09:56,968 --> 00:09:58,403 - Congratulations. - Congratulations. 148 00:09:58,616 --> 00:10:01,372 This is the single greatest day of my professional career. 149 00:10:02,285 --> 00:10:04,278 - Gunther. Six glasses. - Six? 150 00:10:04,667 --> 00:10:07,642 - You want me to join you? - I thought Joey was here. Five is good. 151 00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:13,817 Wow, I'm gonna have a loogey in my coffee tomorrow. 152 00:10:18,006 --> 00:10:18,981 Ok I'll tell'em 153 00:10:18,981 --> 00:10:22,910 No,no,no,this is the big night for him I don't want to spoil it 154 00:10:23,693 --> 00:10:25,090 -Are you sure? -Yeah I'll be fine 155 00:10:25,441 --> 00:10:28,330 Ok,everybody take one,okay? 156 00:10:29,163 --> 00:10:30,744 Israeli champagne. 157 00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:33,067 And it's vanilla. 158 00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,562 I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery. 159 00:10:38,536 --> 00:10:40,480 Hey, Rach, so how did your thing go? 160 00:10:40,779 --> 00:10:43,955 Good. But I won't hear about that for a couple days. 161 00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:47,100 Oh, you know what, you're gonna get it. I can feel it. 162 00:10:47,357 --> 00:10:48,470 Can you? 163 00:10:50,102 --> 00:10:51,627 All right, everybody, here's to Ross. 164 00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:56,141 And to years of hard work finally paying off. 165 00:10:56,731 --> 00:11:00,239 And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything. 166 00:11:00,692 --> 00:11:03,428 But also knowing it means a lot. 167 00:11:05,684 --> 00:11:08,009 But more importantly, to full, well-rounded lives. 168 00:11:08,224 --> 00:11:09,373 That center around work. 169 00:11:09,611 --> 00:11:11,655 - To Ross. - To Ross. 170 00:11:16,430 --> 00:11:19,413 You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired. 171 00:11:19,624 --> 00:11:20,955 - Oh, God. - No, seriously. 172 00:11:21,288 --> 00:11:23,520 I have job security for life. 173 00:11:24,313 --> 00:11:25,729 You know? I mean, I never have to worry. 174 00:11:26,025 --> 00:11:29,453 Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me. 175 00:11:32,524 --> 00:11:35,543 No, it's not that. I got fired today. 176 00:11:36,527 --> 00:11:37,813 And I didn't get the other job. 177 00:11:41,838 --> 00:11:43,105 Rach, I'm so sorry. 178 00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:47,675 - Great, I feel like an idiot. - No, it's okay. You didn't know. 179 00:11:50,416 --> 00:11:51,728 Little heads-up would've been nice. 180 00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:02,723 Thank you for letting us see the house again. 181 00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:05,137 And thank you for explaining to us what escrow means. 182 00:12:06,027 --> 00:12:07,660 I've already forgotten what you said, but thank you. 183 00:12:09,116 --> 00:12:11,333 Take as long as you want. Just let me know when you're through. 184 00:12:15,093 --> 00:12:17,957 - So glad you decided to come. - Me, too. Yeah, this place is great. 185 00:12:18,676 --> 00:12:21,647 So happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus. 186 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,486 - What? - Fungus. 187 00:12:26,308 --> 00:12:27,448 Yeah. Place is full of it. 188 00:12:28,844 --> 00:12:31,314 No, it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything. 189 00:12:31,808 --> 00:12:35,161 Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason. 190 00:12:35,572 --> 00:12:37,834 Maybe it's because you hung your head out the window like a dog... 191 00:12:38,093 --> 00:12:39,382 ...the whole ride here. 192 00:12:42,301 --> 00:12:43,212 Maybe. 193 00:12:44,393 --> 00:12:46,790 So this is the living room, huh? It's pretty dark. 194 00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:53,687 - No, it's not. - Are you kidding? 195 00:12:54,127 --> 00:12:55,811 I think I just saw a bat in the corner. 196 00:12:57,671 --> 00:13:00,916 When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it? 197 00:13:02,696 --> 00:13:03,842 Maybe. 198 00:13:05,963 --> 00:13:08,534 Look, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? 199 00:13:09,064 --> 00:13:10,689 Or any other house for that matter. 200 00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:12,254 Oh, Joey. 201 00:13:12,872 --> 00:13:14,815 We know you're having a hard time with this, but we-- 202 00:13:15,021 --> 00:13:17,893 - We love it here. - Fine! If you love this house so much... 203 00:13:17,893 --> 00:13:21,374 ...you should live here. Okay? I hope you get used to that weird humming sound. 204 00:13:24,426 --> 00:13:26,527 - Joey, we know that's you. - No... 205 00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:27,917 ...it's not. 206 00:13:33,352 --> 00:13:36,496 - Welcome back. - I missed you. 207 00:13:36,976 --> 00:13:38,470 - Oh, me too. - So, what's new? 208 00:13:38,470 --> 00:13:40,709 Well, I am no longer Phoebe Buffay. 209 00:13:41,650 --> 00:13:43,353 - That's great. You changed your name? - Yes, I did. 210 00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:46,898 Meet Princess Consuela Bananahammock. 211 00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:50,934 - You're kidding, right? - Nope. 212 00:13:52,052 --> 00:13:53,218 - You really did that? - Yep. 213 00:13:54,612 --> 00:13:55,733 You can't do that. 214 00:13:56,719 --> 00:13:57,587 Why? 215 00:13:57,946 --> 00:14:00,917 Why? It's fun. It's different. No one else has a name like it. 216 00:14:03,284 --> 00:14:04,706 Then I'm gonna change my name. 217 00:14:04,924 --> 00:14:06,586 Great. Okay, what are you gonna change it to? 218 00:14:06,998 --> 00:14:08,399 Crap Bag. 219 00:14:10,712 --> 00:14:14,438 - Mike Crap Bag? - No. No "Mike." No, just "Crap Bag." 220 00:14:14,844 --> 00:14:16,303 First name: Crap. Last name: Bag. 221 00:14:18,416 --> 00:14:20,233 - You're not serious, right? - Yeah, I'm serious. 222 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,963 It's fun, it's different, and no one else has a name like that. 223 00:14:23,441 --> 00:14:27,598 Well, then great. If you love it, I love it. 224 00:14:28,088 --> 00:14:30,832 I do love it. And I love your name. I love Princess Consuela. 225 00:14:31,176 --> 00:14:32,066 And I love Crap. 226 00:14:42,985 --> 00:14:45,591 - Who are you? - Oh, hi. I'm Joey. 227 00:14:46,243 --> 00:14:48,418 My stupid friends are buying this house. Who are you? 228 00:14:48,993 --> 00:14:52,280 I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents are selling this house. 229 00:14:54,331 --> 00:14:55,808 I hate my parents. 230 00:14:57,069 --> 00:14:58,351 I hate my friends. 231 00:15:02,354 --> 00:15:05,145 Look, there's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening. 232 00:15:06,028 --> 00:15:06,736 Like what? 233 00:15:08,855 --> 00:15:12,799 Okay, you come with me and you tell them that the house is haunted. 234 00:15:13,391 --> 00:15:14,451 What are you, 8? 235 00:15:18,057 --> 00:15:21,945 - Okay. Let's hear your great idea. - I don't have any great ideas. 236 00:15:22,643 --> 00:15:23,424 I am 8. 237 00:15:25,412 --> 00:15:28,453 There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know... 238 00:15:28,453 --> 00:15:31,908 ...if Monica and Chandler move here, and Phoebe's married to Mike... 239 00:15:32,169 --> 00:15:34,831 ...that just leaves me and Ross and Rach. You know what I mean? 240 00:15:36,804 --> 00:15:37,962 I really don't. 241 00:15:39,917 --> 00:15:42,082 What am I gonna do? I feel like I'm losing my friends. 242 00:15:43,161 --> 00:15:46,467 - My parents say I'll make new friends. - Yeah, sure, easy for you. 243 00:15:46,678 --> 00:15:48,122 You're young. Me? I'm set in my ways. 244 00:15:50,073 --> 00:15:54,260 This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. 245 00:15:58,610 --> 00:16:00,351 Look, you want your friends to be happy, right? 246 00:16:02,213 --> 00:16:04,805 Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. 247 00:16:05,567 --> 00:16:08,388 Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it? 248 00:16:09,871 --> 00:16:11,873 Yeah. Maybe. 249 00:16:13,967 --> 00:16:15,270 Then you've gotta let them go. 250 00:16:19,991 --> 00:16:22,513 Oh, I hate to admit it, but you're-- 251 00:16:23,293 --> 00:16:24,666 You're probably right. 252 00:16:26,781 --> 00:16:27,961 How'd you get to be so smart? 253 00:16:29,173 --> 00:16:30,526 I read a lot. 254 00:16:32,647 --> 00:16:34,032 Just when I thought we could be friends. 255 00:16:38,817 --> 00:16:41,282 Oh, hey, Rach. I just heard. I'm so sorry. 256 00:16:41,758 --> 00:16:42,918 Oh, thank you... 257 00:16:44,432 --> 00:16:45,786 You still don't know my name, do you? 258 00:16:47,904 --> 00:16:49,240 Well, now I don't have to. 259 00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:56,538 Ross, what is taking you so long? 260 00:17:04,617 --> 00:17:08,629 I'm sorry. It's almost as if this wasn't built for a quick getaway. 261 00:17:12,178 --> 00:17:12,796 Rachel? 262 00:17:13,286 --> 00:17:16,423 Mark? Oh, my God. 263 00:17:16,617 --> 00:17:20,273 - How have you been? - Fantastic. You remember Ross. 264 00:17:20,792 --> 00:17:21,577 Sure. Sure. 265 00:17:22,777 --> 00:17:23,846 What's with the chair? 266 00:17:26,073 --> 00:17:29,524 You know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so... 267 00:17:31,911 --> 00:17:32,910 Clever. 268 00:17:33,922 --> 00:17:34,863 So how are you? 269 00:17:35,205 --> 00:17:37,390 You're not catching me on my best day. 270 00:17:38,242 --> 00:17:41,200 Yeah, a box full of your desk stuff doesn't say "big promotion." 271 00:17:41,564 --> 00:17:44,025 No, but it's good. You know, I'm gonna take some time off... 272 00:17:44,317 --> 00:17:46,587 - ...and do charity work. - Are you sure? 273 00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:48,575 We may have something at Louis Vuitton. 274 00:17:49,187 --> 00:17:50,767 Screw charity work. What do you got? 275 00:17:52,227 --> 00:17:53,581 Why don't we have dinner and talk? 276 00:17:54,161 --> 00:17:56,294 - Great. I'll call you. - Okay. 277 00:17:56,657 --> 00:17:59,026 - Nice to see you again. - Yeah. Yeah. I got tenure. 278 00:18:05,467 --> 00:18:07,351 Oh, my God. 279 00:18:07,630 --> 00:18:09,613 See? I told you something good would come along. 280 00:18:10,409 --> 00:18:13,050 And he seemed really nice. I've met him before? 281 00:18:13,490 --> 00:18:14,989 Ross, that's Mark. 282 00:18:15,852 --> 00:18:18,698 From Bloomingdale's? You were insanely jealous of him. 283 00:18:19,541 --> 00:18:21,181 - That is Mark? - Yes. 284 00:18:21,420 --> 00:18:22,704 I hate that guy. 285 00:18:24,324 --> 00:18:26,528 No, no, no. You cannot go to dinner with him. 286 00:18:26,927 --> 00:18:30,455 - What? You don't want me to get a job? - Yeah, I'm sure he'll give you a job. 287 00:18:30,662 --> 00:18:32,265 Maybe make you his "sex-cretary." 288 00:18:33,887 --> 00:18:36,108 I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay? 289 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,387 You know what--? Okay, let's talk about it later. There comes security. 290 00:18:51,524 --> 00:18:52,639 Oh, I love this street. 291 00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:57,835 The trees and the big front yards and the actual picket fences. 292 00:18:58,634 --> 00:19:00,495 Man, those two dogs are going at it. 293 00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:07,659 - Hey. Where you been? - Oh, just, you know, looking around. 294 00:19:08,017 --> 00:19:08,928 But you know what? 295 00:19:09,391 --> 00:19:11,574 This house is great. 296 00:19:12,468 --> 00:19:13,636 Really? What changed your mind? 297 00:19:14,215 --> 00:19:17,400 The little girl who lives here made me feel better about the whole thing. 298 00:19:18,780 --> 00:19:22,588 Joey? There was a little girl who lived here, but she died, like, 30 years ago. 299 00:19:28,075 --> 00:19:29,558 What? 300 00:19:30,592 --> 00:19:32,362 I'm just messing with you. 301 00:19:34,104 --> 00:19:36,610 That's not funny. You know I'm afraid of little-girl ghosts. 302 00:19:38,366 --> 00:19:40,898 Now that you're okay with the house, do you want to go see your room? 303 00:19:42,430 --> 00:19:43,349 What? 304 00:19:43,785 --> 00:19:44,793 I get my own room? 305 00:19:45,838 --> 00:19:48,297 You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room, do you? 306 00:19:49,962 --> 00:19:51,144 Oh, my God. 307 00:19:54,936 --> 00:19:57,008 Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing? 308 00:19:59,642 --> 00:20:02,517 - No. - Why not? I'll keep the tank clean. 309 00:20:06,484 --> 00:20:07,964 After you, Ms. Bananahammock. 310 00:20:08,354 --> 00:20:09,596 Thank you, Mr. Bag. 311 00:20:11,208 --> 00:20:15,294 - Oh, hi, Rita. - How are you? 312 00:20:13,981 --> 00:20:16,272 Good. Oh, Rita's a massage client. 313 00:20:16,531 --> 00:20:17,255 Yeah. 314 00:20:17,255 --> 00:20:19,151 Why don't you introduce me? 315 00:20:22,491 --> 00:20:23,786 Rita, this is my husband. 316 00:20:24,774 --> 00:20:26,672 Why don't you tell her my name? 317 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:32,615 Okay, I will. This is-- This is my husband, Crap Bag. 318 00:20:34,499 --> 00:20:36,141 Crap Bag? 319 00:20:36,718 --> 00:20:40,105 If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap. 320 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,786 - Okay. Excuse me. - Yeah. 321 00:20:48,430 --> 00:20:52,747 Okay, fine, you made your point. Can you please just be Mike Hannigan again? 322 00:20:53,405 --> 00:20:54,688 Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay. 323 00:20:55,312 --> 00:20:58,997 How about--? How about Buffay-Hannigan? 324 00:21:00,117 --> 00:21:00,835 Really? 325 00:21:01,048 --> 00:21:03,702 Yeah. I'm Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan-Bananahammock. 326 00:21:06,237 --> 00:21:08,287 Do you even know what a banana hammock is? 327 00:21:09,058 --> 00:21:10,149 It's a funny word. 328 00:21:11,052 --> 00:21:11,973 It's a Speedo. 329 00:21:17,084 --> 00:21:18,244 Oh, crap. 330 00:21:24,226 --> 00:21:26,070 What are you thinking about? 331 00:21:26,498 --> 00:21:28,243 You know,two dogs 332 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,152 - Hey, is Rachel here? - Nope. 333 00:21:36,174 --> 00:21:37,387 She's still at dinner? 334 00:21:38,478 --> 00:21:40,371 - I guess. Why, who's she with? - That guy, Mark... 335 00:21:40,821 --> 00:21:43,787 ...from Bloomingdale's. She thinks he's just being nice to her. 336 00:21:44,375 --> 00:21:45,718 But I know he really wants to sleep with her. 337 00:21:46,493 --> 00:21:47,341 It's seven years ago. 338 00:21:50,293 --> 00:21:51,577 My time machine works. 339 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:57,636 We ran into him on the street today, and he said he might have a job for her. 340 00:21:57,916 --> 00:21:59,239 But I know he just wants to get into her pants. 341 00:22:01,512 --> 00:22:05,065 So, what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single, and he's cute. 342 00:22:05,357 --> 00:22:06,318 Excuse me? 343 00:22:06,617 --> 00:22:08,561 Oh, please. 344 00:22:09,349 --> 00:22:11,526 Yesterday, on the subway, you couldn't stop staring... 345 00:22:11,526 --> 00:22:12,775 ...at that woman with the big breasts. 346 00:22:12,978 --> 00:22:16,364 For your information, I was staring at her baby. 347 00:22:17,014 --> 00:22:18,167 We're about to be parents. 348 00:22:19,897 --> 00:22:21,047 Oh, sorry. 349 00:22:31,506 --> 00:22:33,862 - Hi, you guys. - Hi. So... 350 00:22:33,862 --> 00:22:38,347 - ...how was dinner? - Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet. 351 00:22:38,856 --> 00:22:42,251 Oh, yeah? Yeah, I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want? 352 00:22:43,136 --> 00:22:47,064 Oh, Ross. Come on. He is happily married. His wife just had twins. 353 00:22:48,086 --> 00:22:49,695 Should we send something? 354 00:22:51,666 --> 00:22:52,793 How did the job stuff go? 355 00:22:53,307 --> 00:22:55,443 He offered me one. 356 00:22:56,158 --> 00:22:58,951 - That's great. - Congratulations. 357 00:22:59,635 --> 00:23:00,968 I know, it's amazing. 358 00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:05,063 It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. 359 00:23:05,485 --> 00:23:08,048 - The money is great. - Can we--? 360 00:23:08,048 --> 00:23:11,438 Can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along? 361 00:23:12,221 --> 00:23:15,638 You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. 362 00:23:15,638 --> 00:23:18,682 You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israel's finest. 363 00:23:23,743 --> 00:23:25,297 The job is in Paris. 364 00:23:38,625 --> 00:23:40,646 I mean, this soap opera is a great gig... 365 00:23:40,926 --> 00:23:42,848 ...but am I missing opportunities? 366 00:23:43,554 --> 00:23:45,728 You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. 367 00:23:46,584 --> 00:23:48,542 Should I be trying to do more independent movies? 368 00:23:49,690 --> 00:23:50,957 I don't know. 369 00:23:52,871 --> 00:23:54,837 But you know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. 370 00:23:55,927 --> 00:23:56,742 Hold on. 371 00:23:58,645 --> 00:24:00,145 Hey, Bailey, I need some career advice.