I'm gonna get more coffee, do you want anything, baby doll?
I'm fine. Thanks.
See, I can't pull off "baby doll," can I?
No, I think we learned that from the "sugar lips" incident.
- I'm gonna get some tea. - Okay.
How you doing, pumpkin?
Nope.
- So it looks like it's going well for you two. - I know. Really well.
In fact, I'm gonna ask Phoebe to move in with me.
- Oh, my God. - What do you think?
I think that it's great. When are you gonna ask her?
- Tonight. But don't say anything, okay? - I swear. I promise. I promise.
My God, I'm so excited.
But listen, do not get her flowers, okay?
Because she cries when they die, then there's the whole funeral.
- I'll see you after work, sweetie. - Okay. Bye.
So, what movie should we see?
Gary's gonna ask you to move in with him.
What? Really?
He told me at the counter. He made me promise not to tell...
...but I couldn't hold it in any longer.
I can't believe this.
Right? Because it's fast. Because it's so fast. It's fast.
- Relax. It's Phoebe, not you. - Oh.
Good for you, Pheebs. Way to go.
- No, but it is fast, isn't it? - No.
- I like him a lot but I don't think I'm ready. - So, what are you gonna do?
I don't know. I'll just handle it. I'll ask you to talk to him.
Me? Why me?
Because you are so afraid of commitment.
You talk to him. Make him scared like you, make him a man.
I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it would do...
...because I'm less afraid of commitment than I used to be.
That is so sweet.
Still terrified. I'll take care of it no problem.
Hey, Ross, is, uh, Staten Island really an island?
Uh-huh. That's why they call it Staten "Island."
Oh, I thought it was like Long Island.
Also an island.
- Hey, what time is it? - Two seventeen.
Wow, you realize we've been throwing this ball without dropping it for an hour?
Are you serious?
Yeah, I realized it a half-hour ago, but I didn't wanna say anything...
...because I didn't wanna jinx it.
Wow, we are pretty good at this.
[CHUCKLES]
Hey, we totally forgot about lunch.
I think that's the first time I've ever missed a meal.
I think my pants are a little loose.
Hey, you guys. Uh, is Monica here?
JOEY: No. ROSS: No.
Listen, um, I bought something. I'm not sure she's gonna like it.
And it's gonna seem crazy...
...but this is something I've wanted since I was a little girl.
You bought Shaun Cassidy.
No. I wish.
Okay, you ready?
BOTH: Yeah.
Check it out.
- Oh, my God. What is it? - What the hell is that?
- It's a cat. - That is not a cat.
Yes, it is.
Why is it inside out?
Excuse me, but this is a purebred, show-quality sphinx cat.
How much did you pay for that?
Well, it was a little extravagant, but I got a good deal.
ROSS: Yeah, how much? - Thousand bucks.
On a cat?
It's not a cat.
All right. Listen, ball boys.
My grandmother had one of these when I was little...
...and it was the sweetest thing.
I mean, it was so cute, it would sit in my lap and just purr all day long...
...and I would drag a shoe string on the ground and it would chase it.
Free cats do that too, you know.
It's not a cat.
Look, guys, I'm really excited about this, okay?
I don't care what you think.
I'm gonna go set up a little litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson.
Well, what am I gonna call her? Fluffy?
Hey, do you wanna get something to eat or, uh...
...see how long we can throw this ball back and forth?
- Uh, the ball thing. - Yeah?
Hey, Ross, wouldn't it be great if we could go for like two straight hours...
...without dropping it?
Uh, yeah, it would.
- Let's do it. - Okay.
- Uh-oh. ROSS: What?
I have to pee.
And Rachel's in the bathroom.
JOEY: Man, I didn't think we were gonna make it.
I know.
Don't switch hands, okay?
Hey, ladies. What are you in here for?
[CHUCKLES]
Hey, Chandler, what are you doing here?
- Gary, I am here to report a crime. - Yeah?
It is a crime that you and I don't spend time together.
Ha, ha. What's up?
Uh, well, I heard that you were thinking about asking Phoebe to move in with you...
...and I thought maybe we should have a talk, you know, man to... well, me.
Sure, okay.
Um, are you crazy?
Are you insane?
If you live with Phoebe, you two are gonna be, you know, living together.
Yeah, I considered that. I just know it'd make me happy.
- Heh. You mean scared. - No, I mean happy.
Scared happy.
- Chandler, what are you doing? - I'm trying to open your eyes, my man.
Don't you see? If you live with Phoebe, she is always gonna be there.
You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there.
You wake up and oh, yes, she's there.
I know. I can't wait.
Were your parents happy or something?
Listen, Chandler, the way I see it...
...I was lucky enough to find someone that I really love.
I just wanna be around her as much as I can.
Wow, you know, when you say it, it doesn't sound so scary.
- So you know what I'm talking about? - Yeah, I think I do.
You know what?
You move in with her. You move in right with her right now.
- Maybe I should move in with Monica. - No, it's too soon for you guys.
[CHUCKLING] You're right about that.
When they found the remains of the Mesozoic mastodon...
...they discovered what appeared to be the remains...
...of a Paleozoic amphibian in its jaws.
How did it get there?
Maybe this should be more of a quiet game.
- Hey, guys. JOEY: Hey.
Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night.
- It was here. Where is it? - I don't know.
Well, come on, I'm late for work.
How do you know? You don't have a watch.
Guys, could you stop throwing the ball for one minute and just help me find it?
Oh, I don't know. Yeah, can't do it.
[ROSS & JOEY YELL]
- What? - Whatever you do, do not drop that ball.
- Yeah, we haven't dropped it in... - Two hours, 27 minutes.
Really?
I'm not gonna be able to make it in to work today.
Um, I don't feel very good.
Yes!
Wow, uh, for a second there, I thought I was feeling better, but I'm not.
ROSS: Hey, Rach. - Hey.
Check it out. Almost three hours without dropping it.
Wow, congratulations. That's quite a waste of time.
MONICA: Rach. RACHEL: Yeah.
You have scratches all over you. What happened?
- Well, it's my cat. - What?
- Oh, yeah, I got a cat. - I don't want a cat.
- Oh, don't worry, it's not a cat. ROSS: Yeah.
You guys, this cat is nothing like my grandmother's cat.
It's not sweet. It's not cute.
I even dragged a string on the ground...
...and it just flipped out and scratched the hell out of me.
And I swear... I know this sounds crazy, but every time this cat hisses at me...
...I know it's saying, "Rachel."
Doesn't sound as crazy as paying $1000 for a cat.
You paid $1000 for a cat when you owe me 300?
Well, I was gonna let you play with it.
Hey.
Did you talk to Gary about the moving in thing?
- Yes, I did, and I think you should do it. - What?
He's a great guy and he loves you a lot. You are a very lucky lady.
You are useless.
Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do...
...and you can't even do that right. God.
Sorry. If he asked me, I'd move in with him.
Oh!
Ooh, ooh, get out of here, good-for-nothing.
- Hey, Chandler. - Hey, Gar.
Hey, sweetie.
- Can I talk to you for a second? - Yeah. Okay.
- You look very pretty today. - Thanks. Okay.
- Here's the thing. - Yeah.
You know, I really want this relationship to move forward.
Because if you're not moving forward, you know, you're just moving backwards.
Now, that's not true. If you're not moving forward, you're staying still.
And staying still is good. Watch this.
- Phoebe? - Yeah?
I want you to move in with me.
That is so sweet.
But don't you think that it's a little it's too soon?
I mean, there's so much we don't know about each other.
Oh.
Oh, okay. I get it.
I don't want us to jump into something that we're not ready for, you know.
Uh-huh.
I really don't want to mess up what we have.
I'm just worried it's gonna be a big mistake.
Yeah.
Which is why my answer is yes.
- Really? - Uh-huh.
You're so happy.
Monica, stop throwing it so hard.
We're on the same team.
Four hours? You guys have been doing this for four hours?
That's right, baby.
- All right. Let me in. - No, no. Don't do it.
What?
He's a dropper.
Oh, yeah. That's right.
I'm not a dropper.
It's really a three-person game, you know?
It's throwing and catching.
All right.
Oh, oh, it's so hard.
[CHICKEN CLUCKS AND DUCK QUACKS]
Don't worry, guys. It's not a cat.
Oh, my... Oh, good God.
I give up, you guys. I don't know what I'm gonna do with this thing.
Baking it didn't help, huh?
Why don't you just take it back to where you got it?
I tried. They won't take her back.
Maybe that's because she's a minion of the Antichrist.
Rach, why won't they take it back?
Well, they said they would, but would only give me store credit.
What am I gonna do, get a thousand regular cats?
If you want, you can keep it until you find out what to do with it.
No, Mon, that's not the point. I'm out a thousand dollars...
...I'm all scratched up...
...and I'm stuck with this stupid cat that looks like a hand.
[SNEEZES]
Oh, my God.
The cat's made my eyes water. Don't throw it to me.
My vision's been compromised.
Oh, God. Okay. Okay.
It's okay. Man, that was close.
Yeah, you almost overreacted to something.
ALL: Hey.
- We have great news. - We're moving in together. Isn't it great?
Yay!
JOEY: Congratulations. ROSS: That's great.
- I know, I'm so excited. - So am I.
Well, you're not more excited than I am. No way. I'm the most excited. Ha.
Okay, I'll see you at the station later.
Okay, yeah, I'll see you later. Don't forget about the moving-in.
So you're moving in with him? What happened?
I couldn't tell him no. He got so sad. But maybe it'll be all right.
I do really like him a lot...
...and probably do it eventually anyway.
And plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps.
Why, do you write him a lot?
No, I just heard when people live together...
...they split the cost of stamps, don't they?
- Yeah, yeah. CHANDLER: That's right.
Oh! Oh.
I'm sorry, the oven mitts really freaked me out.
GARY: Hey, honey.
Did you find any apartments in Brooklyn Heights?
No, nothing.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
- Nothing at all? - No.
As soon as something opens up, we'll move in.
Unless it doesn't have a pool. I need a pool.
- Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second? - Uh-huh.
Take a seat.
You okay? You feel all right?
Yeah, I feel great because we're moving in together.
So you, uh...
You checked the paper for listings in Brooklyn Heights, right?
You checked the Post?
Yeah, uh-huh, there was nothing.
- Can I get some water? - In a minute.
- You checked today's Post? - Um, yeah, today's.
Hmm. Because, uh, this is today's Post.
And, uh, these are the listings I found.
Brooklyn Heights, two bedrooms. Brooklyn Heights, one bedroom.
Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn Heights.
Oh, are these for rent? I thought people were just bragging.
Let me tell you what I think might be going on here.
No, no, don't look at the table. Look at me.
Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with him.
And I think someone said yes, but now she's having doubts...
...because things are moving too fast for someone.
Does that sound at all possible to you?
Yes, yes. Yes, fine, I am someone.
You want me to say it? I have doubts.
I'm sorry.
- Phoebe. - Yeah?
Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way.
I mean, it is soon, and there's a lot of things we don't know about each other.
I just figured everything I know about you, I really like.
The things I don't know, I get to learn in a place with both our names on the mailbox.
That's so sweet.
Sweetheart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you.
It's fine. We don't have to move in together. I just want you to be happy.
- Living with you would make me happy. - Phoebe, you don't have to say that.
No, I really wanna live with you. I wanna move in with you.
- Are you sure? - Yes.
Definitely, yes. Let's live in an apartment that we both live in.
- Oh, that's great. - Oh, wait, one sec. One sec.
Hey, you. Behind the glass. Who are you looking at?
I've always wanted to say that every time I was in one of these rooms...
...which was never.
Show cat. Quality show cat.
- Show cat. - Oh, my God.
What's wrong with your baby?
That's not a baby. That's a cat.
- Ew, it's creepy looking. - Oh, no.
No, it's actually very sweet. It's very sweet. Look.
[CAT HISSES]
- Yeah. Do you want it? - Ha, ha. No, I hate cats.
Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay?
Just get out of here, all right? Move on.
- Jeez. - Wow, what an unusual cat.
Yes, thank you. Exactly. You want it?
Maybe.
I was thinking about getting a cat. I was just gonna go to the shelter, but...
- Okay. Why not? - Oh, terrific. That'll be $2,000.
- Ha. What? - Okay, a thousand.
I thought you wanted me to adopt your cat?
Well, I do, but you're gonna have to look at this as more of an investment than a cat.
Okay, yeah. I just wanted a cat.
Okay, okay, okay.
[CHUCKLES]
Obviously, you know how to haggle...
...so I'm not gonna try and take you on, okay?
So $800, and I don't call the cops...
...which I should because you are robbing me blind.
Blind. Just take the cat, leave the money and run away.
Just run away. Damn it. Ugh.
Can't you at least smile or something?
[CAT HISSES]
Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
- I'm starving. MONICA: Come on, guys. Suck it up.
We're closing in on 10 hours.
It's gut-check time.
I don't know who made you the boss. We invented this game.
Please. I made this game what it is.
Not fun anymore?
I'm still hungry.
All right, there's some pizza at my place.
We can eat with one hand, right? Are you with me?
- I am. - All right, let's go. Come on.
Let's go, Team Monica.
All right, we can work out the name later.
Rachel, what is your cat doing in one of my bowls?
It's not. I'm defrosting a chicken.
Oh, I sold, uh, Mrs. Whiskerson.
Oh, thank God.
- Did you get your money back? - Yeah, $1500.
MONICA: Wow, you made a profit?
- I just came for the red velvet pillow. RACHEL: Oh, yeah.
- There you go. - Thanks, Rachel.
And, uh, don't forget, you can come visit her any time you want.
Oh, good. Great. I'll keep that in mind.
Ahem, hey. So, what is this, some kind of snake or something?
I really like waking up with you.
I like waking up with you too.
Oh, it's such a beautiful morning.
I could stay here all day.
That would be great.
- We could have breakfast in bed. - Wait, just a second.
[BIRDS SINGING]
Oh!
Oh, no.
All right. Come on, Monica. Look alive. Come on, look alive.
Oh, good. You're all up.
Phoebe, it's six o'clock in the morning. Why aren't you at Gary's?
- Oh, yeah. That's over. ALL: What?
Come on, Gary's such a great guy. Whatever the problem, you can work it out.
- He shot a bird. - Oh, that is over.
MONICA: I'm sorry. ROSS: That's terrible.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah, I'll be all right.
- Oh, hey, here, Pheebs. - Oh. Nah, I don't feel like playing.
[ALL GASP]
It's okay. It's okay.
Just pretend that it didn't happen, okay? No one needs to know.
Phoebe's not an official ball player.
I mean, only official ball players can drop the ball.
JOEY: Come on. ROSS: Let's go.
Phoebe, honey, you wanna get breakfast?
PHOEBE: Yeah. - Okay. Okay, let's race.
First one there wins. Ha, ha.
- You guys wanna eat here? ALL: Yeah.
Oh, man, that was great, huh?
Can you believe how long we threw that ball around?
It is amazing it lasted that long.
I know. My arm is killing me.
No, I meant with the dropper over here.
You know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper?
I am anything but a dropper.
Ross.
[English - US - SDH]