1 00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,882 Oh, look, look! There's Joey's picture! 2 00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,426 This is so exciting! 3 00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:13,554 You can spot someone who's never seen his plays. 4 00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:16,306 Notice, no fear. No sense of impending doom. 5 00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:18,726 The exclamation point scares me. 6 00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:21,228 It's not just Freud, it's Freud! 7 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,356 ROSS: Shh. Magic is about to happen! 8 00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:26,984 JOEY [IN GERMAN ACCENT]: Well, Eva... 9 00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:30,863 ...we've done some excellent work here. 10 00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:33,866 And I would have to say... 11 00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:38,162 ...your problem is quite clear. 12 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,788 [ZANY PIANO MUSIC PLAYS] 13 00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:43,208 [SINGING] All you want is a dinkle 14 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:46,462 What you envy's a schwang 15 00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:50,007 A thing through which you can tinkle 16 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:52,885 To play with or simply let hang 17 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,434 [AUDIENCE CHEERS] [ZANY PIANO MUSIC PLAYING] 18 00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,358 [ALL GROAN] 19 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,403 I feel violated. 20 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:57,324 Did anybody else feel like peeling their skin off... 21 00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:59,451 ...to have something else to do? 22 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,161 Ross, 10:00. 23 00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:03,205 Is it? It feels like 2. 24 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,333 No, 10:00! 25 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:12,172 There's a beautiful woman at 8, 9, 10:00! 26 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:15,509 ROSS: Hello! 27 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:16,760 She's amazing! 28 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:20,597 She makes the women I dream about look like short, fat, bald men. 29 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,517 Go over to her. She's not with anyone. 30 00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:25,561 And what would my opening line be? 31 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:26,812 Excuse me... 32 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:28,063 [BABBLES] 33 00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:32,109 Come on, she's a person. You can do it. 34 00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:35,320 Could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up. 35 00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:38,448 He could never get a woman like that in a million years. 36 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:44,329 But you always see these beautiful women with these "nothing" guys. 37 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,582 You could be one of those guys. 38 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,418 - You could do that. - You think? 39 00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:50,669 RACHEL: Absolutely! 40 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:53,380 I can't believe I'm even considering this. 41 00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:56,216 - I'm very aware of my tongue. - Come on. 42 00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:57,676 Here goes. 43 00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,057 Yes? 44 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:06,393 Hi. Um... Ahem. 45 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,604 Okay, next word would be... 46 00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:09,855 ...uh, Chandler. 47 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,941 Chandler is my name and, uh... 48 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,151 [CLEARS THROAT] 49 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,736 Hi! 50 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,739 Yes, you said that. 51 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,950 Yes! Yes, I did. But what I didn't say... 52 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,244 What I wanted to say was, uh... 53 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:27,664 ...would you like to go out with me? Thank you. Good night. 54 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,541 Chandler? 55 00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:33,128 PHOEBE: There he is! 56 00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:36,423 ROSS: I didn't know you could dance! RACHEL: You were in a play! 57 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,091 What'd you think? 58 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:42,137 ROSS: I didn't know you could dance! RACHEL: You were in a play! 59 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:45,015 Come on, it wasn't that bad. I was the lead. 60 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:48,477 It was better than the troll thing. At least you got to see my head. 61 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,813 RACHEL: You're right. ROSS: We saw your head. 62 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:53,565 She said yes! She said yes! 63 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:54,775 MONICA: Wow! 64 00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:57,361 Awful play, man! Whoa! 65 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:03,575 Her name's Aurora. She's Italian and she pronounces my name "Chandler." 66 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:08,789 I like that better. The usher gave me this to give to you. 67 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:12,084 - What is it? - The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. 68 00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:15,128 An agency left me its card. Maybe they wanna sign me! 69 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,505 Based on this play? 70 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,134 Based on this play! 71 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,186 Hey, kids! 72 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:32,396 ROSS: Hey, Chandler. 73 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:36,024 No, because this line is passion, and this is just a line. 74 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:40,070 I've been here seven seconds, and you haven't asked me how my date went. 75 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,740 How was your date, Chandler? 76 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,200 It was unbelievable! 77 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:49,037 I've never met anyone like her. She's had the most amazing life! 78 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,914 CHANDLER: She was in the Israeli army. 79 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,208 None of the bullets hit the engine block... 80 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,836 ...so we made it to the border. 81 00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:57,963 But just barely and I... 82 00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:02,968 I've been talking about myself all night long. I'm sorry. 83 00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:05,262 What about you? Tell me your stories. 84 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,347 All right, once... 85 00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:10,309 ...once I got on the subway, right? 86 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,185 And it was at night... 87 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:15,063 ...and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... 88 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,774 ...just for the hell of it. 89 00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:21,194 We talked till 2. It was this perfect evening. 90 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,363 More or less. 91 00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,949 Suddenly, we realized we were in Yemen. 92 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:27,951 I'm sorry, so "we" is? 93 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:30,078 "We" is me and Rick. 94 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:32,748 - Who's Rick? - Who's Rick? 95 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:35,000 My husband. 96 00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:36,335 ALL: Ooh. 97 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:39,838 - Oh, so you're divorced? - No. 98 00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:44,051 I'm sorry. So you're widowed? Hopefully? 99 00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,720 No, I'm still married. 100 00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:52,809 So how would your husband feel about you sitting here with me... 101 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,479 ...sliding your foot so far up my leg... 102 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:58,231 ...you can count the change in my pocket? 103 00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:01,193 Don't worry. 104 00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:04,404 I imagine he'd be okay with you because he's okay with Ethan. 105 00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:08,367 Ethan? There's an Ethan? 106 00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:11,453 Ethan is my... 107 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:12,913 ...boyfriend. 108 00:06:13,247 --> 00:06:14,331 ALL: What? 109 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:19,336 So, uh, what kind of relationship do you imagine us having... 110 00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,130 ...if you already have a husband and a boyfriend? 111 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,550 I suppose, mainly sexual. 112 00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:27,928 Huh. 113 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,806 I'm sorry it didn't work out. 114 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:34,309 What not work out? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. 115 00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:40,357 Didn't you listen to the story? 116 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:43,276 How could you get involved with a woman like this? 117 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:46,947 I had trouble with it at first, but I get all the good stuff. 118 00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:50,575 All the fun, all the talking, all the sex... 119 00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,452 ...and no responsibility. 120 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,872 This is every guy's fantasy! 121 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,625 That is not true. Ross, is this your fantasy? 122 00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:00,585 No, of course not. 123 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,714 Yeah. Yeah, it is. 124 00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:09,136 You'd go out with someone else who's going out with someone else? 125 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,470 I couldn't. 126 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:11,721 Good for you. 127 00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:14,182 When I'm with a woman, I need to know... 128 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:17,269 ...that I'm going out with more people than she is. 129 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:18,854 You know... 130 00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:22,065 ...monogamy can be a tricky concept. 131 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,608 I mean, anthropologically... 132 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:24,860 [ALL SNORING] 133 00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,530 Fine. Now you'll never know. 134 00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,365 We're kidding. Tell us. 135 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,200 MONICA: We wanna know. JOEY: Come on! 136 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:36,204 All right. There's a theory put forth by Richard Leakey... 137 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,831 [ALL SNORING] [ROSS GROANS] 138 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,339 Ta-da! 139 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,510 Are we greeting each other this way now? I like that. 140 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,847 Look! I cleaned! 141 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:56,308 I did the windows. I did the floors. 142 00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:59,853 I used all the attachments on the vacuum except for that round one. 143 00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:01,480 I don't know what it's for. 144 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,899 Nobody knows, and we're not supposed to ask. 145 00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,318 RACHEL: What do you think? 146 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:09,279 CHANDLER: It's very clean. MONICA: Really, it looks great! 147 00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:16,369 Oh. Heh. I see you moved the green ottoman. 148 00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,371 ROSS & PHOEBE: Uh-oh. 149 00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:21,791 How did that happen? 150 00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:25,712 I don't know. I thought it looked better there. 151 00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:29,257 And also, it's an extra seat around the coffee table. 152 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,801 Yeah, it's interesting. 153 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,472 But you know what? Just for fun... 154 00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:39,434 ...let's see what it looked like in the old spot. 155 00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:41,937 Just to compare. 156 00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:43,647 Let's see. Ha! 157 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,732 Well, it looks good there too. 158 00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:48,318 Let's leave it there for a while. 159 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:52,155 I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman. 160 00:08:53,282 --> 00:08:55,492 Thank God you didn't fan out the magazines. 161 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,577 She'll scratch your eyes out. 162 00:08:57,828 --> 00:08:59,663 You guys, I am not that bad! 163 00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,122 Yeah, you are. 164 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,042 Remember, I lived with you? 165 00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:05,710 You were a little, you know... 166 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,546 [MIMICS STABBING SOUND FROM "PSYCHO"] 167 00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:11,424 That is so unfair! 168 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:15,470 When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy. 169 00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:20,934 Okay, so I'm responsible. I'm organized. 170 00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:22,978 But, hey, I can be a kook! 171 00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:27,440 All right, you madcap gal! 172 00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:30,360 Try to imagine this. 173 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:34,281 The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away. 174 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:37,117 - Why not? - Because you're a kook! 175 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,997 Instead, you wait until they send you a notice. 176 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:44,124 I could do that. 177 00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:48,295 Okay, then you let me go grocery shopping... 178 00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,297 ...and I buy laundry detergent. 179 00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:53,967 But it's not the one with the easy-pour spout. 180 00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:55,802 Why would someone do that? 181 00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,140 One might wonder. 182 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:03,101 A glass is on the table. There's no coaster. 183 00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:05,145 It's a cold drink. It's a hot day. 184 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:10,150 Beads of condensation are inching their way closer to the wood... 185 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:11,443 Stop it! 186 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,448 Oh, my God! 187 00:10:16,907 --> 00:10:18,825 It's true. Who am I? 188 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,369 Monica, you're Mom. 189 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,789 [MIMICS STABBING SOUND FROM "PSYCHO"] 190 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:30,795 JOEY: Uh-huh? Oh, my God! 191 00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,048 Okay. 192 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,175 Okay, I'll be there. 193 00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,137 That was my agent. 194 00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:45,852 My agent has just gotten me a job in the new Al Pacino movie! 195 00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,647 CHANDLER: Whoa! That's great! 196 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,023 What's the part? 197 00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:52,275 Can you believe this? Al Pacino! 198 00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:54,361 This guy's why I became an actor. 199 00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:56,905 "I'm out of order? You're out of order! 200 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,991 This whole courtroom's out of order!" 201 00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:02,702 Seriously, what's the part? 202 00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:06,623 "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!" 203 00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:10,001 Come on. Seriously, Joey, what's the part? 204 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,544 [MUMBLES] 205 00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:13,546 You're, you're... What? 206 00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:18,510 I'm his butt double, okay? 207 00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,475 I play Al Pacino's butt. 208 00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:30,980 All right? He goes into the shower, and then... 209 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:32,732 ...I'm his butt. 210 00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:34,818 Oh, my God! 211 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,277 Come on, you guys. 212 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:39,823 This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it and that's big! 213 00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,491 Oh, no, it's terrific. 214 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,910 After all your years of struggling... 215 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,330 ...you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. 216 00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,877 Okay, fine. Make jokes, I don't care. 217 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,546 This is a big break for me! 218 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,423 You're right. It is. 219 00:11:57,633 --> 00:12:00,468 So are you gonna invite us all to the big opening? 220 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,018 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 221 00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:15,066 - I need to borrow some moisturizer. - For what? 222 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,277 What do you think? Today's the big day! 223 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,655 Okay, go into the bathroom. Use whatever you want. 224 00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,575 Just don't ever tell me what you did in there. 225 00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:25,076 JOEY: Thank you. 226 00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:30,123 - Joey's mom's on the phone. - He's in the bathroom. 227 00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:33,793 - You don't wanna go in there! - Come on, we're roommates. 228 00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:35,253 [CHANDLER YELLS] 229 00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:38,006 My eyes! My eyes! 230 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,051 MONICA: I warned you. 231 00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,095 Who is being loud? 232 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:46,306 Oh, that would be Monica. 233 00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,642 Can I borrow some things? I wanna make Aurora breakfast. 234 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,644 You got the whole night, huh? 235 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:55,190 Well, I only have 20 minutes until Ethan, so... 236 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,358 Do I sense a bit of resentment? 237 00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:00,695 No, no, no. No resentment. Believe me... 238 00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:03,031 ...it's worth it, okay? 239 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,450 In a relationship, you have these key moments... 240 00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:08,119 ...you'll remember for the rest of your life. 241 00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:11,581 Well, every single second is like that with Aurora. 242 00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:14,334 And I've just wasted 35 of them talking to you. 243 00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:17,796 So, uh, Monica, can you help me with the door? 244 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:21,508 Um, Chandler, you know, the old Monica would remind you... 245 00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:25,512 ...to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush. 246 00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,848 But I'm not gonna do that. 247 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:36,981 DIRECTOR: Damn it! Hire the girl. 248 00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:39,317 Okay, everybody ready? 249 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:43,738 Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity. 250 00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:46,032 Lose the robe. 251 00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:48,159 Me? 252 00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:49,661 That would work. 253 00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:53,039 Right. Okay. Losing the robe! 254 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,501 Okay, and the robe is lost. 255 00:13:57,294 --> 00:14:00,088 Everybody, I would like to get this in one take. 256 00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:01,631 Let's roll it. 257 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,258 Water's working. 258 00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,844 And action! 259 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,347 And cut! 260 00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:11,641 Butt guy, what are you doing? 261 00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:14,352 I'm showering. 262 00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:16,354 No, that was clenching. 263 00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:20,984 Well, the way I see it, the guy's upset here, you know? 264 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:23,486 His wife's dead, his brother's missing. 265 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,406 I think his butt would be angry here. 266 00:14:27,324 --> 00:14:30,076 I think his butt would like to get the shot before lunch. 267 00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:33,913 Once again, rolling. Water working. 268 00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:36,833 And action! 269 00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:40,587 And cut! What was that? 270 00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:44,299 I was going for quiet desperation. 271 00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:48,511 But if you have to ask... 272 00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,061 God, I love these fingers. 273 00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:58,479 Thank you. 274 00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:01,232 No, actually, I meant my fingers. 275 00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,777 Look at them. Look at how happy they are. 276 00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:09,824 - Oh, my God, I'm late! - Oh, no, no, no. 277 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,994 - Don't go, don't go. - Okay, okay. 278 00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:15,914 - I have to. - Look, she's leaving. 279 00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:19,208 I'm sorry. He'll be waiting for me. 280 00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,044 I thought you talked to Rick. 281 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,171 It's not Rick. 282 00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:25,506 Ethan? He gets the whole day with you! 283 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,425 No, it's Andrew. 284 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,016 I know there'll be many moments... 285 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:38,561 ...when I'll regret asking the following question, but... 286 00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:40,813 And Andrew is? 287 00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:43,149 He's... new. 288 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:48,655 So you're not completely fulfilled by Rick, Ethan and myself? 289 00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:51,324 No, that's not exactly what I was... 290 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,368 Most women would kill... 291 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,662 ...for three guys like us. 292 00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:58,414 So, what do you want? 293 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:00,166 You. 294 00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:03,211 - You have me. - No, no. Just you. 295 00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:04,629 What do you mean? 296 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,714 Lose the other guys. 297 00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,468 Like, all of them? 298 00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:14,138 Come on, we're great together. Why not? 299 00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:16,516 Why can't we just have what we have now? 300 00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:19,060 Why can't we just talk, laugh and make love... 301 00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:22,105 ...without feeling obligated to one another? 302 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:26,109 Up until tonight, I thought that's what you wanted too. 303 00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,237 Well, part of me wants that... 304 00:16:29,446 --> 00:16:31,656 ...but it's like I'm two guys. 305 00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:34,867 I mean, one guy's saying, "Shut up! This is great!" 306 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,745 But there's this other guy. 307 00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,957 It's the guy who wells up every time the Grinch's heart... 308 00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:44,043 ...grows three sizes and breaks that measuring device. 309 00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:48,840 He's saying, you know, "This is too hard. Get out, get out!" 310 00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:52,552 So which one of the two guys will you listen to? 311 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:57,348 I have to listen to both. They don't let each other finish. 312 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,059 Which one? 313 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,023 The second guy. 314 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:07,900 I see. 315 00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:14,907 Call me if you change your mind. 316 00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:26,794 Sorry, the first guy runs the lips. 317 00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:42,518 Look at it this way. You dumped her! 318 00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:46,147 Right? I mean, this woman was... 319 00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:47,982 ...unbelievably sexy... 320 00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:51,569 ...and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable... 321 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,782 Tell me why you did this again? 322 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:57,950 ROSS: Hey! MONICA: Hey! 323 00:17:58,202 --> 00:17:59,619 RACHEL: Movie star! 324 00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:03,498 Aren't you the guy who plays the butt in the new Al Pacino movie? 325 00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:06,709 Nope. 326 00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:09,545 No? What happened, big guy? 327 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:11,214 Big guy? 328 00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:15,593 It felt like a "big guy" moment. 329 00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:17,595 I got fired! 330 00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,765 They said I acted too much with it. 331 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,436 I told everybody about this. 332 00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,605 Everybody will be expecting to see me. 333 00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:30,399 You know what? No one will be able to tell. 334 00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:32,276 My mom will. 335 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,280 There's something so sweet... 336 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,741 ...and disturbing about that. 337 00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:42,954 I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years... 338 00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:46,207 ...and I finally get my shot, and I blow it! 339 00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:48,167 Maybe this wasn't your shot. 340 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:52,922 I think when it's your shot, you know it's your shot. 341 00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:56,050 Did it feel like your shot? 342 00:18:57,469 --> 00:19:00,054 Hard to tell. I was naked. 343 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:01,889 I don't think this was your shot. 344 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,392 I don't even think you just get one shot. 345 00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:07,979 I really believe big things are gonna happen for you. I do. 346 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:12,108 You've gotta keep thinking about the day that some kid will go... 347 00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:15,987 ..."I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!" 348 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,909 You think? That's so nice. 349 00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:24,704 Oh, come here. 350 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,835 I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys. 351 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:32,128 ROSS: Good night. 352 00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:34,714 RACHEL: You're gonna leave your shoes out here? 353 00:19:36,925 --> 00:19:38,342 Uh-huh. 354 00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:43,181 Really? Just casually strewn about... 355 00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:45,683 ...in that reckless, haphazard manner? 356 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:51,314 It doesn't matter. I'll get them tomorrow. Or not! 357 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,233 Whenever. 358 00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,655 She is a kook. 359 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,290 [HUMMING] 360 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:17,465 MONICA [THINKING]: If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. 361 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,636 No, don't do this! 362 00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,304 This is stupid! 363 00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:26,641 I don't have to prove anything. I'm gonna go get them. 364 00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:29,185 But then everyone will know. 365 00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:34,982 Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back. 366 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:36,943 I need help!