1
00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:10,551
Terry, I know I haven't worked here
very long...

2
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:13,470
...but I was wondering,
do you think it would be possible...

3
00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:16,724
...if I got a $100 advance on my salary?

4
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,684
An advance?

5
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,311
It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving
with my family.

6
00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:25,774
See, every year, we go skiing in Vail,
and normally my father pays for my ticket...

7
00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:29,194
...but I've sort of started
this whole independent thing, you know...

8
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:32,573
...which is actually why I took this "job."

9
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,578
Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart.

10
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:40,289
You're a terrible, terrible waitress.

11
00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:44,043
Really, really awful.

12
00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:48,380
Okay, I hear what you're saying.
I'm with you.

13
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,215
Um...

14
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:54,511
But I'm trying really hard,
and I think I'm doing better.

15
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:57,097
I really do.

16
00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:58,474
Does anybody need coffee?

17
00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,309
MAN: Yeah, over here.
WOMAN: Yeah, I do.

18
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:04,897
Heh. Look at that.

19
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:58,408
Excuse me, sir?
Hi. You come in here all the time.

20
00:01:58,576 --> 00:01:59,993
MAN: Uh-huh.
- I was just wondering...

21
00:02:00,161 --> 00:02:03,122
...you think there's a possibility
you could give me an advance on my tips?

22
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:05,290
Huh? No.

23
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:09,753
RACHEL: Okay, okay. That's fine, fine.
Sorry about that spill before.

24
00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:11,088
[SIGHS]

25
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,174
Only 98.50 to go.

26
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,343
- Hey. Hey.
ROSS & CHANDLER: Hey.

27
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:20,222
Ross, did you know that Mom and Dad
are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?

28
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,391
What? No, they're not.

29
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:25,144
- Yes, they are. The Blymans invited them.
- You're wrong.

30
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,189
- I am not wrong.
- You're wrong.

31
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:32,359
No, I just talked to them.

32
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:35,362
I'm calling Mom.

33
00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:41,952
- Hey, hey.
MONICA & CHANDLER: Hey.

34
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,787
- Hey.
- Coffee.

35
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:48,333
And this from the Cry for Help Department:
Are you wearing makeup?

36
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:51,962
Yes, I am.

37
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:55,757
As of today, I am officially
Joey Tribbiani, actor/model.

38
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,009
Thank you.

39
00:02:57,177 --> 00:03:02,014
That's funny, I was thinking you look more
like Joey Tribbiani, man/woman.

40
00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:05,184
What were you modeling for?

41
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,561
You know those posters
for the City Free Clinic?

42
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,439
Oh, wow. You're gonna be one of those
healthy, healthy, healthy guys?

43
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,983
- Ah?
- The asthma guy's really cute.

44
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,610
- Oh, he is.
RACHEL: Isn't he?

45
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,820
- You know which one you're gonna be?
- No, no.

46
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,865
But I hear Lyme disease is open,
so, you know...

47
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,117
Good luck, man. I hope you get it.

48
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,535
Thanks.

49
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,708
Well, you were right.
How can they do this to us, huh?

50
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,293
It's Thanksgiving.

51
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:34,129
Aw. Tell you what.
How about if I cook dinner at my place?

52
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,340
I'll make it just like Mom's.

53
00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:39,426
Will you make the mashed potatoes
with the lumps?

54
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,429
You know they're not actually
supposed to...?

55
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,681
I'll work on the lumps.

56
00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:47,559
- Joey, you're going home, right?
- Yeah.

57
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:51,897
And I assume, Chandler, you're still
boycotting all the Pilgrim holidays?

58
00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:54,942
Yes, every single one of them.

59
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,527
Phoebe, you're gonna be
with your grandma?

60
00:03:57,695 --> 00:03:58,820
Yeah, and her boyfriend.

61
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:02,741
But we're celebrating Thanksgiving
in December because he's lunar.

62
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,623
So you're free Thursday, then?

63
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,209
- Yeah. Oh, can I come?
- Yeah.

64
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:16,255
Rach, you still thinking
you're gonna make it to Vail?

65
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:19,132
Absolutely. Shoop, shoop, shoop.

66
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:23,011
- Only $102 to go.
- I thought it was 98.50.

67
00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:25,847
Yeah, well, it was, but I broke a cup.

68
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,685
Well, I'm off to Carol's.

69
00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:32,729
Ooh, ooh, why don't we invite her?

70
00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:34,940
Ooh, ooh, because she's my ex-wife...

71
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:39,444
...and will probably wanna
bring her, ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.

72
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:49,413
[SUSAN CHUCKLES]

73
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,540
Hi. Is Carol here?

74
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:55,085
- No, she's at a faculty meeting.
- Oh.

75
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:58,171
Well, I just came by to pick up my skull.

76
00:04:58,339 --> 00:05:00,549
Well, not mine, but...

77
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,884
- Come in.
- Thanks.

78
00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:07,306
Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class,
and I have to get it back to the museum.

79
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,266
What's it look like?

80
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,560
Kind of like a big face without skin.

81
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:17,649
Yes, heh, I'm familiar with the concept.

82
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:20,402
- We can just look for it.
- Okay.

83
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:30,746
Wow, you guys, heh, sure have a lot
of books about being a lesbian.

84
00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:36,960
Well, you know,
you have to take a course.

85
00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:40,756
Otherwise they don't let you do it.

86
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:53,185
Hey, hey, Yertle the Turtle. A classic.

87
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:56,104
Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.

88
00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,190
[CHUCKLES]

89
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:01,443
The baby that hasn't been born yet?

90
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,862
Uh, wouldn't that mean you're...

91
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,697
...crazy?

92
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:09,534
What, you don't think
they can hear sounds in there?

93
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:13,914
You're not serious.
I mean, you really talk to it?

94
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:17,876
Yeah, all the time.
I want the baby to know my voice.

95
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,046
Do you, uh...? Do you talk about me?

96
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:25,133
- Yeah, yeah. All the time.
- Really?

97
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:30,764
But, um, we just refer to you as
"Bobo the sperm guy."

98
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:46,238
Look, if she's talking to it, I just think
I should get some belly time too.

99
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,698
I mean, not that I believe any of this.

100
00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:52,494
Oh, I believe it.
I think the baby can totally hear everything.

101
00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:54,037
- Really?
- I can show you.

102
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,664
This will seem a little weird.

103
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,792
But you put your head
inside this turkey...

104
00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:03,171
...and then we'll all talk,
and you'll hear everything we say.

105
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:07,592
I'd just like to say
I'm totally behind this experiment.

106
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:11,805
In fact,
I'd very much like to butter your head.

107
00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:17,936
ROSS: Hey.
MONICA: Hey, Rach.

108
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,856
- Did you make your money?
RACHEL: No, not even close.

109
00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:23,108
Forget Vail. Forget seeing my family.

110
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:27,362
Forget shoop, shoop, shoop.

111
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,365
Uh, Rach...

112
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:31,658
...here's your mail.

113
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,452
Thanks. You can just put it on the table.

114
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:35,912
Heh. No.

115
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,415
Here's your mail.

116
00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:42,752
Thanks. You can just put it on the table.

117
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,172
Would you just open it?

118
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,384
Oh, my God.

119
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:52,804
- Oh, you guys are great.
- Aw. Ha, ha.

120
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:55,056
RACHEL: Aw.
- We all chipped in.

121
00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:58,226
- We did?
- You owe me 20 bucks.

122
00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:00,896
Thank you. Thank you so much.

123
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:03,732
Chandler, here you go.
Got your traditional holiday feast.

124
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,025
Got your tomato soup...

125
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:09,237
...your grilled-cheese fixings,
and your family-size bag of Funyuns.

126
00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:12,032
Wait, this is what you're having
for Thanksgiving dinner?

127
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,784
What is it with you and this holiday?

128
00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:16,036
[SIGHS]

129
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,496
All right, I'm 9 years old.

130
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,331
- Aw.
- Aw, I hate this story.

131
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,416
We've just finished Thanksgiving dinner.

132
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:25,837
I have... And I remember this part vividly.
- A mouthful of pumpkin pie.

133
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:30,091
And this is the moment my parents
choose to tell me they're getting divorced.

134
00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:31,635
Oh, my God.

135
00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:36,223
It's very difficult to enjoy Thanksgiving
dinner once you've seen it in reverse.

136
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,658
Hi.

137
00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:58,119
- We used to work together.
- We did?

138
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:01,122
Yeah, at Macy's.
You're the Obsession girl, right?

139
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:03,708
- Yes.
- I was the Aramis guy.

140
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:09,673
- Aramis? Aramis? Aramis?
- Oh.

141
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:10,924
Yeah, right.

142
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,135
I gotta tell you,
you're the best in the business.

143
00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:15,971
- Get out.
JOEY: I'm serious.

144
00:09:16,138 --> 00:09:20,559
You're amazing. You know when to spritz.
You know when to lay back.

145
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:23,228
Really?
You don't know what that means to me.

146
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,980
[CHUCKLES]

147
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:26,356
Mm, mm.

148
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:30,151
You smell great tonight.
Uh, what are you wearing?

149
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,071
Nothing.

150
00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:41,037
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

151
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:44,624
Listen, do you wanna go get a drink
or something?

152
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,669
Yeah, that would be...

153
00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:52,007
- What's wrong?
- I just remembered I have to do something.

154
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:53,967
Oh. What?

155
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,552
Um...

156
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:57,596
Leave.

157
00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:00,390
JOEY:
Whoa. Wait, wait, wait.

158
00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:12,444
[GASPS]

159
00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:33,798
[ALL LAUGHING]

160
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:35,634
[ROSS CLEARS THROAT]

161
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,264
[CHANDLER CLEARS THROAT]

162
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,142
So I guess you all saw it.

163
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:46,645
- What?
- Saw what?

164
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:50,523
No, we're just laughing.
You know how laughter can be infectious.

165
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:51,816
[ALL LAUGHING]

166
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:10,377
Hey.

167
00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:14,339
Set another place for Thanksgiving.
My entire family thinks I have VD.

168
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,551
Tonight, on a very special Blossom.

169
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,564
MONICA:
Mm, looking good. Okay.

170
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:36,403
Cider's mulling, turkey's turking,
yams are yamming.

171
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:38,196
What?

172
00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:39,781
I don't know.

173
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:42,242
It's just not the same
without Mom in the kitchen.

174
00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:45,829
Ugh. All right, that's it.
Get out of my way and stop annoying me.

175
00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:48,707
Well, that's closer. That's...

176
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,875
I got the ticket, I got the ticket.

177
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:54,963
Five hours from now,
shoop, shoop, shoop.

178
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:57,716
Oh, you must stop shooping.

179
00:11:57,883 --> 00:12:00,260
Okay, I'm gonna get my stuff.

180
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,429
Chandler, will you just come in, already?

181
00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:06,307
No, thank you. I prefer to keep
a safe distance from all this merriment.

182
00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:08,643
Look out. Incoming pumpkin pie.

183
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,812
[MIMICS PLANE ZOOMING]

184
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:20,488
Okay, we all laughed when you did it with
the stuffing, but that's not funny anymore.

185
00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:25,660
Hey, Monica, I got a question.
I don't see any Tater Tots.

186
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,871
That's not a question.

187
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,790
But my mom always makes them.
It's like a tradition.

188
00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:34,919
You get a little piece of turkey on your fork,
a little cranberry sauce, and a Tot.

189
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:40,133
I mean, it's bad enough
I can't be with my family...

190
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:43,261
...because of my disease.

191
00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:45,638
All right, fine.

192
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:48,975
Tonight's potatoes
will be both mashed with lumps...

193
00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:50,685
...and in the form of Tots.

194
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:52,520
Yes.

195
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,274
All right,
I'm off to talk to my unborn child.

196
00:12:57,651 --> 00:13:00,779
- Ah.
- Okay, Mom never hit.

197
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,616
[MIXER WHIRRING]

198
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:07,243
PHOEBE:
Okay, all done.

199
00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:10,580
What? Phoebe, did you whip the pota...?

200
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,248
Ross needs lumps.

201
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:14,459
Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I just...

202
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:19,798
I thought we could have them whipped
and then add some peas and onions.

203
00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:21,466
Why would we do that?

204
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,927
Then they'd be just like
my mom used to make it...

205
00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:25,720
...you know, before she died.

206
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:32,227
Okay, three kinds of potatoes coming up.

207
00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:35,730
Okay. Goodbye, you guys.

208
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:37,190
Thanks for everything.

209
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:41,653
Oh, God, look at... Sorry. I'm so sorry.

210
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:46,741
The most unbelievable thing has happened.
Underdog has gotten away.

211
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:50,537
- The balloon?
- No, no, the actual cartoon character.

212
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,207
Of course the balloon.

213
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:56,709
It's all over the news.
Before he reached Macy's...

214
00:13:56,877 --> 00:14:00,213
...he broke free and was spotted
flying over Washington Square Park.

215
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:03,550
- I'm going to the roof. Who's with me?
- Well, I can't. I gotta go.

216
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:06,052
An 80-foot inflatable dog
loose over the city?

217
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:09,222
- How often does that happen?
- Almost never.

218
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:13,184
- Got the keys?
- Okay.

219
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:18,940
Any time you're ready.

220
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,818
Okay.

221
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,987
Okay, here we go.

222
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:27,490
Oh...

223
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:32,453
Okay, where am I talking to here?
I mean, uh...

224
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:37,417
Well, there is one way that seems to offer
a certain acoustical advantage, but...

225
00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:39,961
Just aim for the bump.

226
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,797
Okay.

227
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:44,883
Okay, okay.

228
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:47,093
Okay, here goes.

229
00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:56,853
You know, I... You know, I can't do this.

230
00:14:57,021 --> 00:15:00,106
This is... It's too weird. I feel stupid.

231
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:02,901
All right, so don't do it. It's fine.

232
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:05,904
You don't have to do it
just because Susan does it.

233
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:10,742
Hello, baby. Hello, hello.

234
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:14,746
- That moment when we first saw
the giant dog shadow fall over the park?

235
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:18,082
But did they have to shoot him down?
I mean, that was just mean.

236
00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:23,421
Okay, right about now the turkey
should be crispy on the outside...

237
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,256
...and juicy on the inside.

238
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,718
Why are we standing here?

239
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:32,263
We're waiting for you to open the door.
You've got the keys.

240
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:34,182
No, I don't.

241
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:39,103
Yes, you do.
When we left, you said, "Got the keys."

242
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:43,983
No, I didn't. I asked, "Got the keys?"

243
00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:47,987
No, no, no. You said, "Got the keys."

244
00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:51,407
Either of you have the keys?

245
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:55,286
- The oven is on.
- Oh, I've gotta get my ticket.

246
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:58,539
- Wait. We have a copy of your key.
- Well, then get it, get it!

247
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:01,042
Hey, hey.
That tone won't make me go any faster.

248
00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:03,002
- Joey.
- That one will.

249
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:07,966
ROSS:
And everyone's telling me:

250
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:11,260
"You gotta pick a major.
You gotta pick a major."

251
00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:16,516
So on a dare, I picked paleontology.

252
00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:22,063
And you have no idea what I'm saying,
because, let's face it, you're a fetus.

253
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:26,442
You're just happy
you don't have gills anymore.

254
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:30,405
Look, you don't have to talk to it.
You can sing to it.

255
00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:33,408
Oh, please.
I am not singing to your stomach, okay?

256
00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:36,869
- How's it going?
ROSS: Shh, shh, shh.

257
00:16:37,037 --> 00:16:38,913
[SINGING]
Here we come

258
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:41,374
Walkin' down the street

259
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:45,253
Get the funniest looks from
Everyone we meet

260
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:46,629
Hey, hey...

261
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,844
- Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
- I did.

262
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,513
- Well, does it always, uh...?
- No, no, that was the first.

263
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:58,099
- Keep singing. Keep singing.
ROSS: Oh.

264
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,977
[SINGING]
Hey, hey, you're my baby

265
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:03,438
And I can't wait to meet you

266
00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:06,941
When you come out I'll buy you a bagel
And then we'll go to the zoo

267
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,359
[CAROL & SUSAN SHRIEK]

268
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,361
I felt it that time.

269
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,030
Hey, hey, I'm your daddy

270
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:13,948
I'm the one without any breasts

271
00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:22,206
- Nope, not that one.
- Can you go any faster with that?

272
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,542
Hey, I got one keyhole
and about a zillion keys.

273
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,502
You do the math.

274
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:29,714
Why do you guys have so many keys
in there anyway?

275
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,592
For an emergency just like this.

276
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:36,220
All right, listen, smirky.

277
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,473
If it wasn't for your stupid balloon...

278
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,809
...I would be on a plane,
watching a woman do this right now.

279
00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:43,978
But I'm not.

280
00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:47,315
I swear you said you had the keys.

281
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,151
No. I wouldn't say I had the keys
unless I had the keys.

282
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,111
And I obviously did not have the keys.

283
00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:56,032
Okay, all right, that's it.
Enough with the keys. No one say "keys."

284
00:17:58,285 --> 00:18:01,162
Why would I have the keys?

285
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,331
Aside from the fact
that you said you did?

286
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,833
- But I didn't.
- Well, you should have.

287
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,335
MONICA: Why?
RACHEL: Because.

288
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,545
Why? Because everything
is my responsibility?

289
00:18:09,713 --> 00:18:12,340
Isn't it enough
that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner?

290
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:16,677
Everyone wants a different kind of potato,
so I'm making different kinds of potatoes.

291
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:19,847
You know, does anybody care
what kind of potatoes I want?

292
00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:23,643
No, no, no!

293
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:26,854
You know, just as long as Phoebe
gets her peas and onions...

294
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:28,981
...and Mario gets his Tots.

295
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:33,027
[SOBBING IN HIGH VOICE]
It's my first Thanksgiving, and I...

296
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:36,614
It's all burnt, and I can't...

297
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,116
[SOBS]

298
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:40,743
Okay, Monica,
only dogs can hear you now, so...

299
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:42,662
Look, the door's open. Here we go.

300
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,288
Oh, God.

301
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:46,707
- Ooh.
- Oh.

302
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:52,004
Well, the turkey's burnt.

303
00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:56,676
Potatoes are ruined.
Potatoes are ruined. Potatoes are ruined.

304
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,261
[SINGING]
Here we come

305
00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,512
Walkin' down the...

306
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,139
[ROSS HUMS]

307
00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:05,685
This doesn't smell like Mom's.

308
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,814
No, it doesn't, does it?
But you wanted lumps, Ross?

309
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,275
Well, here you go, buddy. You got one.

310
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,112
Oh, God, this is great.

311
00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:19,699
The plane is gone,
so I guess I'm stuck here with you guys.

312
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:23,619
Hey, we all had better plans, okay?
This was nobody's first choice.

313
00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,204
Oh, really?

314
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:26,914
So why was I busting my ass...

315
00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:29,417
...to make this delicious
Thanksgiving dinner?!

316
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:32,044
- You call that delicious?
- You be quiet!

317
00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:34,088
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

318
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:36,007
All right, stop it, stop it, stop it!

319
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,010
Now, this feels like Thanksgiving.

320
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:55,401
PHOEBE: Ew.
- What?

321
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:59,071
PHOEBE: Ugly Naked Guy's
taking his turkey out of the oven.

322
00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:01,782
JOEY, ROSS & MONICA:
Eh.

323
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,869
PHOEBE:
Oh, my God. He's not alone.

324
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,245
Ugly Naked Guy...

325
00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:09,582
...is having Thanksgiving dinner
with Ugly Naked Gal.

326
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:13,461
JOEY:
I gotta see this.

327
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,172
ALL:
Aw.

328
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:18,382
All right, Ugly Naked Guy.

329
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:21,969
Ooh, ugly naked dancing.

330
00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:24,680
It's nice that he has someone.

331
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:37,526
Shall I carve?

332
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:38,778
By all means.

333
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:40,947
CHANDLER:
All right.

334
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:48,579
Okay, who wants light cheese
and who wants dark cheese?

335
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:52,500
I don't even wanna know
about the dark cheese.

336
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:55,294
- Does anybody wanna split this with me?
- Ooh, I will.

337
00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:56,921
Mm. You guys have to make a wish.

338
00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:01,926
- Make a wish?
- Come on, you know, Thanksgiving.

339
00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:09,433
Ooh. You got the bigger half.
What did you wish for?

340
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:11,602
The bigger half.

341
00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:16,148
All right, I'd like to propose a toast.

342
00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:18,776
- A little toast here. Ding, ding, ding.
ALL: Mm.

343
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,904
This isn't exactly
the kind of Thanksgiving you planned...

344
00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:25,866
...but for me this has been really great,
you know?

345
00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:28,786
I think because it didn't involve divorce...

346
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,788
...or projectile vomiting.

347
00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:35,793
I was just thinking,
if you'd gone to Vail...

348
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:39,880
...or if you guys had been with your family,
or if you didn't have...

349
00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:41,590
...syphilis and stuff...

350
00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:46,137
...we wouldn't be all together, you know?

351
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,972
So I guess what I'm trying to say...

352
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:54,020
...is that I'm very thankful
that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.

353
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,480
RACHEL & JOEY:
That's so sweet.

354
00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:58,649
RACHEL:
Thank you.

355
00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:00,318
ROSS:
Mm.

356
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:02,611
And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.

357
00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:04,071
And a crappy New Year.

358
00:22:04,239 --> 00:22:06,532
ALL:
Hear, hear.