1 00:00:07,882 --> 00:00:11,427 Guys? There's, uh, somebody I'd like you to meet. 2 00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,595 [PHOEBE & RACHEL GASP] 3 00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:15,639 Wait, wait. What is that? 4 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,516 That would be Marcel. You wanna say hi? 5 00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,018 No. No, I don't. 6 00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:21,311 Oh, he is precious. Where did you get him? 7 00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:23,605 My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab. 8 00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:25,315 That is so cruel. 9 00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:28,652 Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel? 10 00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:33,699 Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on his ass. 11 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,957 Ross, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment? 12 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:45,335 Yeah. I mean, it's been kind of quiet since Carol left, so... 13 00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,337 Why don't you just get a roommate? 14 00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:49,548 Ah, I don't know. You reach a certain age... 15 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,842 ...having a roommate is just kind of pathe... 16 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:58,932 Uh, sorry, that's "pathet," which is Sanskrit for "really cool way to live." 17 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,736 You guys, I'm doing all-new material tonight. 18 00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,364 I have 12 new songs about my mother's suicide... 19 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,783 ...and one about a snowman. 20 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:02,037 Might want to open with the snowman. 21 00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,415 GROUP: Hey, Joey. - Hey. 22 00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,626 ROSS: Hey, Joe. - So how'd it go? 23 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:10,379 Ah, I didn't get the job. 24 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:11,547 [GROUP GROANS] 25 00:02:11,714 --> 00:02:14,299 How could you not get it? You were Santa last year. 26 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:19,555 I don't know. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. 27 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,558 He's not even jolly. It's all political. 28 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:24,977 So, what are you gonna be? 29 00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:27,146 I'm gonna be one of his helpers. 30 00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:30,315 It's just such a slap in the face, you know? 31 00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:32,568 Do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's? 32 00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:34,862 [GROUP SHOUTING] 33 00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:37,823 Gee, what? What is wrong with New Year's? 34 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,575 Nothing for you. You have Paolo. 35 00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:42,286 You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday... 36 00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:44,496 ...desperate scramble to find anything with lips... 37 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:48,375 ...just so can have somebody to kiss when the ball drops. Man, I'm talking loud. 38 00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:53,755 Well, for your information, Paolo's gonna be in Rome this New Year's. 39 00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:55,966 So I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you. 40 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,177 Yeah, you wish. 41 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:03,098 It's just that I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. 42 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:05,684 I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. 43 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,853 Just the six of us. Dinner. 44 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,897 - Sure. - Fine. 45 00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:12,441 You know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm. 46 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:13,817 - Woo! - Okay. 47 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,779 - Phoebe, you're on. - Oh. Oh, good. 48 00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:21,783 Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand... 49 00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:24,119 ...Miss Phoebe Buffay. 50 00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:25,537 [CROWD CHEERING] 51 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:29,791 Thanks. Hi. 52 00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:34,588 Um, ahem, I want to start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. 53 00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:43,096 [SINGING] I made a man with eyes of coal 54 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:46,892 And a smile so bewitchin' 55 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,937 How was I supposed to know 56 00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,856 That my mom was dead in the kitchen? 57 00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,154 La-la-la 58 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:02,741 My mother's ashes 59 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:06,161 Even her eyelashes 60 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:13,335 Are resting in a little yellow jar 61 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,506 - And sometimes when it's freezing DAVID: I'm being honest here. 62 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:18,674 You don't agree. 63 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:21,051 - I feel a little sneezy MAX: You're right. 64 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,679 And now I... Excuse me? Excuse me? 65 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,597 Yeah, noisy boys. 66 00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:30,269 Is it something that you'd like to share with the group? 67 00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,856 No. No, that's okay. 68 00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:38,110 Come on, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing... 69 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,280 ...then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear. 70 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,949 That guy's going home with a note. 71 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,329 [CLEARS THROAT] 72 00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:51,957 - Nothing. I was just saying... - Could you speak up? 73 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,333 Sorry. 74 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:58,213 I was just saying to my friend, you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. 75 00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:01,383 - And you said Daryl Hannah... - Darryl Hannah. 76 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:04,636 ...was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life. 77 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:08,056 And I said, yeah, I liked her in Splash, but not so much in Wall Street. 78 00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:11,018 - I thought she had a hard quality. - A hard quality. 79 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,731 And, uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way... 80 00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:19,401 ...you are, uh, luminous with a kind of delicate grace. 81 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,240 Then that's when you started yelling. 82 00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:35,459 Okay, we're gonna take a short break. 83 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:42,341 I think that guy's going home with more than a note. 84 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,389 ROSS: Come here, Marcel. Sit here. 85 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,351 [MARCEL CHATTERING] 86 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,854 Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. 87 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,814 I mean, God, by my sixth date with Paolo... 88 00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:00,942 ...I mean, he had already named both my breasts. 89 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:07,157 Ooh, did I just share too much? 90 00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:09,951 Just a smidge. 91 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:14,206 David's, like, you know, a scientist guy. He's very methodical. 92 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,209 - I think it's romantic. - Me too. Oh! 93 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,419 Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman? 94 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:20,629 MONICA: Yeah. 95 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:24,299 Well, he's kind of like the guy I went to see that with. 96 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:25,759 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 97 00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:27,969 Except... 98 00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:33,141 Except he's smarter and gentler and sweeter. 99 00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:36,395 I just... I just want to be with him all the time. 100 00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:40,273 You know, day and night. And night and day. 101 00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:43,026 And special occasions. 102 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,490 Wait a minute. I see where this is going. You're gonna ask him to New Year's. 103 00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:50,951 You're gonna break the pact. She's gonna break the pact. 104 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,120 No, no, no. 105 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,206 Yeah, could I just? 106 00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:00,669 - Yeah, because I already asked Janice. RACHEL: You what? 107 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,463 Come on, this was a pact. This was your pact. 108 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,299 I snapped, okay? I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped. 109 00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:09,553 Yeah, but Janice? That was, like, the worst breakup in history. 110 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,264 I'm not saying it was a good idea. I'm saying I snapped. 111 00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:17,352 Hi. Hi, sorry I'm late. 112 00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,071 Too many jokes. 113 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,574 Must mock Joey. 114 00:07:33,202 --> 00:07:35,245 Nice shoes, huh? 115 00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:37,873 Aah, you're killing me. 116 00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:42,794 Ross. He's playing with my spatulas again. 117 00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,797 Look, he's not gonna hurt them, right? 118 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,966 Do you always have to bring him here? 119 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,428 Look, I didn't want to leave him alone, all right? 120 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:54,139 We had our first fight this morning. 121 00:07:55,850 --> 00:08:00,896 I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean. 122 00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,192 He threw some feces. 123 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:11,281 You know, if you're gonna work late, I can look in on him for you. 124 00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:13,450 Oh, that would be great. Okay. 125 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:17,078 But if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay? 126 00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:19,789 And you're not, like, doing it as a favor to me. 127 00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:23,001 Okay. But if he asks, I'm not going to lie. 128 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:32,135 But you can't actually test this theory. 129 00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:35,764 Because today's particle accelerators are nowhere near powerful enough... 130 00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,850 ...to simulate these conditions. 131 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,645 - Okay. All right. I have a question then. - Yeah. 132 00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:43,813 Were you planning on kissing me ever? 133 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:50,070 Uh, that's definitely a valid question... 134 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:52,447 ...and, uh, the answer... 135 00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:54,908 ...would be yes. 136 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,660 Yes, I was. 137 00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:04,167 But see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss... 138 00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:07,295 ...that happened at this phenomenal moment because, well, it's you. 139 00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:08,713 Sure. Yeah. 140 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:12,926 Right. But, see, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be. 141 00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:14,511 And now, we've reached a place... 142 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,264 ...where it's just got to be one of those things where I... 143 00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:20,308 ...sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it. 144 00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:23,520 And I'm not really a sweeping sort of fella. 145 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:27,857 Oh, David, I think you are a sweeping sort of fella. 146 00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:32,279 I mean, you're a sweeper trapped inside a physicist's body. 147 00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:35,031 - Really. - Oh, yeah. I'm sure of it. 148 00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:37,951 You should just do it. Just sweep and throw me. Heh. 149 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,540 - Now? Now? - Right now. Just... 150 00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:44,916 Okay. Okay, okay. 151 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,627 [CHUCKLES] 152 00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:51,381 You know what? This is just really expensive. 153 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:55,010 Okay. And I'll tell you, this was a gift. 154 00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:59,097 - So now you're just kind of tidying up. - Okay, what the hell? What the hell? 155 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:00,599 [SHOUTS] 156 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:06,021 - You want me to actually throw you...? - I can hop. 157 00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:26,249 Now, tell me something, what does the phase "no-date pact" mean to you? 158 00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:27,542 Look, I'm sorry, okay? 159 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,295 It's just that Chandler has somebody and Phoebe has somebody. 160 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,672 I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby. 161 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,966 - Fun Bobby, your ex-boyfriend, Fun Bobby? - Yeah. 162 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,844 You know more than one Fun Bobby? 163 00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:39,846 I happen to know a Fun Bob. 164 00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,683 Okay. Here we go. 165 00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:46,519 Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's no room for milk. 166 00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,860 There. Now there is. 167 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,154 Okay, so on our no-date evening... 168 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,490 ...three of you now are gonna have dates. 169 00:10:58,658 --> 00:10:59,824 - Uh, four. - Four. 170 00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,618 - Five. - Five. 171 00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:04,788 Sorry. Paolo's catching an earlier flight. 172 00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:08,708 Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. Ha, ha. 173 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,211 What's an elf to do? 174 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:14,589 Okay, so I'm gonna be the only one standing there alone... 175 00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:15,840 ...when the ball drops? 176 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:19,928 Oh, come on. We'll have a big party, and no one will know who's with who. 177 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:22,180 Hey, you know, this is so not what I needed now. 178 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:25,016 - What's the matter? - Oh, it's Marcel. 179 00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,646 He keeps shutting me out, you know? 180 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:33,441 He's walking around all the time, dragging his hands. 181 00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:37,112 That's so weird. I had such a blast with him the other night. 182 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:39,406 - Really? - Yeah, we played. We watched TV. 183 00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:42,117 That juggling thing is amazing. 184 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,077 What, uh? 185 00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,122 What juggling thing? 186 00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:50,792 With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that. 187 00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:52,877 No. 188 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:56,798 You know, it wasn't that big a deal. I mean, just balled-up socks. 189 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,007 And a melon. 190 00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,639 - Phoebe. Hi. - Hi, Max. Do you know everybody? 191 00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,683 No. Have you seen David? 192 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,519 No, he hasn't been around. 193 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:13,273 Well, if you see him, tell him to pack his bags. We are going to Minsk. 194 00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:16,609 - Minsk? - Minsk. It's in Russia. 195 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,696 I know where Minsk is. 196 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,323 Ha, ha. We got the grant. 197 00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:25,535 Three years, all expenses paid. 198 00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:27,328 So when do you leave? 199 00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,205 January 1 st. 200 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:39,841 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 201 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:41,509 Hello? 202 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:44,846 - Hey. Hi. Hi. - Hi. 203 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:48,183 - What are you doing here? - Um, well, Max told me about Minsk. 204 00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:51,311 So you know, congratulations. This is so exciting! 205 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:53,188 MAX: Yeah. 206 00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:55,523 It'd be even more exciting, if we were going. 207 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:59,194 Oh, you're not going? Oh, why? 208 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:00,862 Tell her, David. 209 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:04,199 "I don't want to go to Minsk to work with Lipson and Yamaguchi and Flank. 210 00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:09,078 No, no, no. I want to stay here and make out with my girlfriend." 211 00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:12,040 Okay, thank you, Max. Thank you. 212 00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,168 So you're really not going? 213 00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:18,588 I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I just... 214 00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:20,673 You decide. 215 00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,008 - Oh, don't do that. - Please? 216 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,260 No, but I'm asking you. I can't make a decision. 217 00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:27,096 - I can't. Please, just... - Okay. Stay. 218 00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:30,809 - Stay. - Stay. 219 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,027 Getting so good at that. 220 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,322 It was Max's stuff. 221 00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:52,914 [R.E.M.'S "SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE" PLAYING] 222 00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,208 I love this artichoke thing. 223 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:58,962 Oh, don't tell me what's in it. The diet starts tomorrow. 224 00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:00,839 [LAUGHING NASALLY] 225 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,385 You remember Janice. 226 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,096 Vividly. 227 00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,643 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 228 00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,605 MONICA: Hi. - Hi, I'm Sandy. 229 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,650 Sandy, hi. Come on in. Hey. 230 00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,993 Ha, ha. 231 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,037 - You brought your kids. - Yeah. That's okay, right? 232 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,917 Party. 233 00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:40,837 That thing is not coming in here. 234 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:44,507 "That thing"? This is how you greet guests at a party? 235 00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:47,302 Let me ask you something. If I showed up with my new girlfriend... 236 00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:48,970 ...she wouldn't be welcome? 237 00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:52,098 I'm thinking your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate on my coffee table. 238 00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:56,853 He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. 239 00:14:57,021 --> 00:15:02,650 Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here... 240 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,527 ...like nothing happened... 241 00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,740 All right. All right. Just keep him away from me. 242 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,367 Thank you. Come on, Marcel. 243 00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:14,537 What do you say you and I do a little mingling? 244 00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:19,500 All right, I'll, uh, catch up with you later. 245 00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,884 Oh, my gosh. Rachel, honey... 246 00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:31,179 ...are you okay? Where's Paolo? 247 00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:34,974 Rome. Jerk missed his flight. 248 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:36,976 And then your face exploded? 249 00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:41,898 No. Okay. 250 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:44,776 I was at the airport getting into a cab... 251 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,653 ...when this woman... 252 00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:49,405 ...this blond planet with a pocketbook... 253 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,616 ...starts yelling at me. 254 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:54,494 Something about how it was her cab first. 255 00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:58,748 And the next thing I know, she just starts pulling me out by my hair. 256 00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:01,751 And I started blowing my attack whistle thingy... 257 00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:04,921 ...and then three more cabs show up. 258 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:09,550 So as I'm going to get into a cab, she tackles me. 259 00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:15,264 And I hit my head on the curb and cut my lip on my whistle. 260 00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:21,104 Oh! Everybody having fun at the party? 261 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:24,482 Are people eating my dip? 262 00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,828 You know, when I saw you at the store last week... 263 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:41,874 ...it was probably the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf. 264 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,129 Wow, that's, uh, dirty. 265 00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:48,256 - Ha, ha. - Yeah. 266 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,261 Hey, kids. 267 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:58,641 Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me... 268 00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:01,019 ...but at least check in. 269 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,022 There you are. 270 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:08,276 You got away from me. 271 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,570 But you found me. 272 00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:12,530 Here, Ross, take our picture. 273 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,283 Smile. You're on Janice Camera. 274 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:16,743 [LAUGHING NASALLY] 275 00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:19,203 Kill me. Kill me now. Ha, ha. 276 00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,498 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 277 00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:24,542 Everybody, it's Fun Bobby! 278 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,252 ALL: Fun Bobby! 279 00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:27,503 MONICA: Hey, Bobby. 280 00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:31,257 Hey, sorry I'm late. But my, uh, grandfather... 281 00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,217 ...died about two hours ago. 282 00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:37,597 But I couldn't get a flight out till tomorrow, so... 283 00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:39,223 ...here I am. 284 00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:41,976 Hey, Fun Bobby. How's it going, man? 285 00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:43,936 Whoa. Who died? 286 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,569 It's going to be an open casket, you know? 287 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:56,574 So at least I'll get to see him again. 288 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,034 [SOBBING] 289 00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:03,998 I'm gonna blow this one up and I'm gonna write "Reunited" in glitter. 290 00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:06,375 All right, Janice, that's it! 291 00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:09,128 Janice? Janice? Ahem. 292 00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:10,880 Hey, Janice? 293 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:14,217 When I invited you to this party, I didn't think it meant that we... 294 00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:20,264 Oh, no. 295 00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:23,059 - I'm sorry you misunderstood. - Oh, my God. 296 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,853 You listen to me, Chandler. You listen to me. 297 00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:30,608 One of these times, it's just gonna be your last chance with me. 298 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:34,779 Oh, will you give me the thing? 299 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,244 - Hi, Max. - Yoko. 300 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,918 I've decided to go to Minsk without you. 301 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,379 Wow. 302 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,339 MAX: It won't be the same... 303 00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:55,466 ...but it will still be Minsk. 304 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,343 Happy New Year. 305 00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,596 Are you all right? 306 00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:02,640 Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. 307 00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:13,526 You're going to Minsk. 308 00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:15,945 No, I'm not going to Minsk. 309 00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,864 Oh, you are so going to Minsk. 310 00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:21,075 You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just because of me. 311 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:24,829 Yes, I can. Because if I go, it means I have to break up with you. 312 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,082 - And I can't break up with you. - Oh, yes. Yes, you can. 313 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:32,670 Just say, uh, "Phoebe, I love you, but my work is my life. 314 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,630 And that's what I have to do right now." 315 00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:37,717 And I say, "Your work? Your work? How can you say that?" 316 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,013 And then you say, um, "It's tearing me apart... 317 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,932 ...but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?" 318 00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:49,061 And I say, "No. No. I can't understand that." 319 00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:51,731 - Uh, ow. - Sorry. Um... 320 00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:55,484 And then you put your arms around me... 321 00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:59,071 - And then you put your arms around me. - Oh, oh. Sorry. 322 00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:03,659 And, um... And then you tell me you love me and you'll never forget me. 323 00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,996 I'll never forget you. 324 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:11,375 And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go... 325 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:16,047 ...because you don't want to start the new year with me if you can't finish it. 326 00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:24,222 I'm gonna miss you... 327 00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,265 ...you scientist guy. 328 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,478 Hi, this is Dick Clark live in Times Square. 329 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:35,608 We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square. 330 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,526 It gets bigger and better every year. 331 00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:39,528 Here you go, kids. 332 00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:43,491 And then the peacock bit me. Ha, ha. 333 00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,534 Please kiss me at midnight. 334 00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:53,751 - You seen Sandy? - Ooh. I don't know how to tell you this... 335 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:58,631 ...but, uh, she's in Monica's bedroom getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. 336 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:01,467 Oh, look at that. I did know how to tell you. 337 00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:04,804 [MUMBLING] Hey, everybody, the ball is going. 338 00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,472 GROUP: What? 339 00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:08,891 The ball is dropping. 340 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,896 CLARK [ON TV]: In 20 seconds, it'll be midnight. 341 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:17,066 And the moment of joy is upon us. 342 00:21:17,484 --> 00:21:20,486 Looks like that "no-date pact" thing worked out. 343 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,281 Everybody looks so happy. I hate that. 344 00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:25,825 Not everybody is happy. Hey, Bobby. 345 00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:28,536 [SOBBING] 346 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:32,456 GROUP: One. Happy New Year! 347 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:36,836 You know, I just thought I'd throw this out there. I'm no math whiz... 348 00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:41,674 ...but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here. 349 00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:46,053 Oh, I don't feel like kissing anyone tonight. 350 00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:48,389 I can't kiss anyone. 351 00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:50,349 So I'm kissing everyone? 352 00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:53,269 No, no, no. You can't kiss Ross. That's your brother. 353 00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:57,064 Perfect. Perfect. So now everybody's getting kissed but me. 354 00:21:57,232 --> 00:21:58,607 All right. Somebody kiss me. 355 00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:02,611 Somebody kiss me. It's midnight. Somebody kiss me. It's midnight. 356 00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:04,864 All right. All right. All right. 357 00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:06,324 There. 358 00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:16,375 I wanted this to work so much. 359 00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:18,502 I'm still in there, you know? 360 00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:21,922 Changing his diapers. Picking his fleas. 361 00:22:22,257 --> 00:22:25,009 But he's just phoning it in. 362 00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:28,763 It's just so hard to accept that something you love so much... 363 00:22:28,930 --> 00:22:31,307 ...doesn't love you back, you know? 364 00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:34,810 I think that bitch cracked my tooth.