1
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:14,513
[ROSS SINGS THEME SONG
FROM THE ODD COUPLE]

2
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:18,976
[CHANDLER JOINS IN]

3
00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,692
[MONICA & PHOEBE JOIN IN]

4
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,057
[SINGING THEME FROM
I DREAM OF JEANNIE]

5
00:00:58,224 --> 00:00:59,975
No, no, we're done. We're done, man.

6
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,777
Aunt Silv, stop yelling.

7
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,571
All I'm saying is,
if you had told me vegetarian lasagna...

8
00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:57,366
...I would've made vegetarian lasagna.

9
00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,911
Well, the meat's only every third layer.

10
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,080
Maybe you could scrape.

11
00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:05,916
Ross, did you really read
all these baby books?

12
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:09,586
Yep. You could plunk me down in
the middle of any woman's uterus...

13
00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:11,713
...no compass...

14
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:13,882
...and I could find my way out like that.

15
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:16,593
Ooh, this is cool.

16
00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:20,222
It says in some parts of the world
people actually eat the placenta.

17
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,977
And we're done with the yogurt.

18
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:27,729
Sorry.

19
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:31,984
Aunt Silv, I did this as a favor.
I am not a caterer.

20
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,279
What do you want me to do
with a dozen lasagnas?

21
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:38,574
Nice talk, Aunt Silv.

22
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:40,868
You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?

23
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,121
Hey, Ross, listen.

24
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:47,332
Do you know that right now
your baby is only this big?

25
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,959
- This is your baby.
- Heh.

26
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,502
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
Hi, Daddy.

27
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,962
Hello.

28
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,714
How come you don't live with Mommy?

29
00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:58,343
How come Mommy lives
with that other lady?

30
00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:06,185
What's a lesbian?

31
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,607
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

32
00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:14,568
Honey, you can say it.
It's Poconos. Poconos.

33
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:18,197
It's like "poke a nose."

34
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:19,823
Ah.

35
00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:23,160
Poke a nose.

36
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:27,414
[IN UNISON]
Blah, blah, blah.

37
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:34,254
- So did I hear "Poconos"?
- Yes.

38
00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:36,673
My sister's giving us her place
for the weekend.

39
00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:39,343
Woo-hoo. First weekend away together.

40
00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:42,012
- Yeah, it's a big step.
RACHEL: I know.

41
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,431
It's just a weekend. Big deal.

42
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,434
Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling,
huh?

43
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,519
Shouldn't it be...

44
00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:51,396
...flung by now?

45
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,274
I mean, we are way past the "fling" thing.

46
00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,235
I'm feeling things
I've only read about...

47
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,237
...in Danielle Steel books, you know?

48
00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:01,448
I mean, when I'm with him,
I'm just totally, totally...

49
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:04,368
Nauseous. I'm physically nauseous.

50
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:08,664
What am I supposed to do, huh?
Call lmmigration?

51
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,625
I could call lmmigration.

52
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:21,718
I love babies
with their little baby shoes...

53
00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:26,014
...and their little baby toes
and their little hands...

54
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:28,308
Okay, you're gonna have to stop that...

55
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:29,685
...forever.

56
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:36,566
[CLEARS THROAT]

57
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,613
Need a new table.

58
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,448
You think?

59
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,871
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

60
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,958
CAROL: Hey, hey, hey. Come on in.
- Hey. Hello.

61
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,710
I brought the books...

62
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:57,254
...and Monica sends her love
along with this lasagna.

63
00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,006
Oh, great.

64
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:02,509
Is it vegetarian?
Because Susan doesn't eat meat.

65
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:07,347
I'm pretty sure that it is. Yeah.

66
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:11,810
So I got the results of the amnio today.

67
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,312
Oh, tell me. Is everything?

68
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:14,938
Totally and completely healthy.

69
00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:17,691
- Oh, that's great. That is great.
- Ha, ha.

70
00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:20,319
Ah.

71
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:25,365
Hey. When did you and Susan
meet Huey Lewis?

72
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,993
Uh, that's our friend Tanya.

73
00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,963
Of course it's your friend Tanya.

74
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,717
Don't you wanna know about the sex?

75
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,094
The sex?

76
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:51,683
Yeah, I'm having enough trouble with
the image of you and Susan together.

77
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,477
But when you throw in Tanya...

78
00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:54,853
[GROANS]

79
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,441
The sex of the baby, Ross.

80
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:02,778
Oh. You know the sex of the baby?

81
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:04,488
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, oh, oh!

82
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,990
- Do you want to know?
- No, no, no.

83
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,368
No, I don't want to know.
Absolutely not.

84
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:12,287
No, I think you shouldn't know until
you look down there...

85
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,498
...and see, "Oh, there it is."

86
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,750
Or isn't.

87
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:21,797
- Oh. Hello, Ross.
- Susan.

88
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:23,507
So?

89
00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:25,008
So did you hear?

90
00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,302
Yes, we did. Everything's A-okay.

91
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,305
Oh, that's so cool.

92
00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:32,933
CAROL:
It really is. Ha, ha.

93
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,309
Do we know?

94
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:37,229
- We certainly do. It's going to be a...
- Hey, hey!

95
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,939
Ho, ho! Hello?

96
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,691
See, a guy who doesn't wanna know
standing right here.

97
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:46,822
Oh. Ha, ha. Uh, well, is it what
we thought it would be?

98
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,241
- Mm-hm.
- Aah!

99
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,080
What?

100
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:58,417
Okay, what did we think it' was gonna be?
No, no, no.

101
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,794
I don't want to know.
Don't want to know. Okay.

102
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,921
You know, I should probably just go.

103
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:06,591
- Well, thanks for the books.
- No problem. Okay.

104
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,304
Susan.

105
00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:21,064
All right, who should we call first?
Your folks or Deb and Rhona?

106
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,315
[DOOR BUZZER]

107
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,027
Hello?

108
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,612
ROSS [OVER INTERCOM]:
Uh...

109
00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:30,782
Never mind. I don't wanna know.

110
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:35,036
Okay, so just because it was my table,
I have to buy a new one?

111
00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,955
That's the rule.

112
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,833
What rule? There's no rule.

113
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,543
If anything, you owe me a table.

114
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:45,088
- How did you get there?
- I believe this piece of furniture was fine...

115
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:47,966
...until your little breakfast adventure
with Angela Delveccio.

116
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:49,926
You knew about that?

117
00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:51,761
The impressions you made
in the butter...

118
00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:53,680
...left little to the imagination.

119
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,100
Okay, okay. How about if we split it?

120
00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:00,187
What do you mean, like, buy it together?

121
00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:01,605
Yeah.

122
00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:03,982
Do you think we're ready
for something like that?

123
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,110
- Why not?
- Well, it's just a big commitment.

124
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,821
I mean, what if one of us
wants to move out?

125
00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:12,157
- Why, are you moving out?
- I'm not moving out.

126
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,409
You'd tell me if you were moving out,
right?

127
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:19,372
- Yes, it's just that, with my last roommate...
- Oh, I know all about Kip.

128
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:22,417
We bought a hibachi together,
and then he ran off and got married...

129
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:23,877
...and things got pretty ugly.

130
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,005
So let me ask you something.

131
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:28,798
Was Kip a better roommate than me?

132
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,551
Oh, don't do that.

133
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,809
You've got a couple changes
in your schedule.

134
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:43,396
Your 4:00 herbal massage
has been pushed back to 4:30.

135
00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:46,566
And Ms. Summerfield
canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.

136
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:48,026
Okay. Thanks.

137
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,237
Oh. Here comes your 3:00.

138
00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:53,240
I don't mean to sound
unprofessional, but, yum.

139
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,452
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

140
00:08:57,745 --> 00:09:01,331
Oh. Paolo. Hi.
What are you doing here?

141
00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:07,379
Uh, Rachella tell me you...

142
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,880
...massage?

143
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,716
Yeah, well, Rachella's right. Yeah.

144
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,010
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

145
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:16,972
Oh.

146
00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:19,766
Okay, I don't know what you just said,
so let's just start.

147
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:24,271
Uh, I am, uh...

148
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:26,523
...being naked?

149
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,108
Um, that's really your decision.

150
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:31,236
I mean, some people prefer,
you know, to take off...

151
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,364
Ooh, oops! Being naked.

152
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:38,618
I can't believe you don't want to know.
I mean, I could not know.

153
00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:42,372
I mean, if the doctor knows,
and Carol knows, and Susan knows...

154
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,416
And Monica knows.

155
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,002
Heh. How could you?
I don't even know.

156
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:51,131
Carol called to thank me for the lasagna.
I asked. She told me.

157
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,757
So, what's it going to be?

158
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,301
Whoa.

159
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,804
Huh? Oh, great.
Now he knows and I don't know.

160
00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:00,473
I'm sorry. I'm just excited
about being an aunt.

161
00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:02,392
Or an uncle.

162
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,566
GROUP:
Hey, Phoebe. Hey, Pheebs.

163
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,234
Fine.

164
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,072
- Phoebe, what's the matter?
- Nothing. I'm sorry.

165
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,074
I'm just... I'm out of sorts.

166
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:20,410
Hey, can we get
some cappuccino over here?

167
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,872
Oh, right. That's me.

168
00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:28,418
Hey, Chandler.
That table place closes at 7. Come on.

169
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:29,753
Fine.

170
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:33,131
Phoebe. What is it?

171
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:38,053
- You know Paolo?
- I'm familiar with his work, yes.

172
00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:40,513
Look, he made a move on me.

173
00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:43,767
- Whoa. The store will be open tomorrow.
- More coffee over here, please.

174
00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:52,275
Well, what happened?

175
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,319
Well, he came in for a massage...

176
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,446
...and everything was fine until...

177
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,034
[GROUP GROANING]

178
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,494
- My God.
- Are you sure?

179
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,413
Oh, yeah. I'm sure.

180
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:14,005
And all of a sudden, his hands
weren't the problem anymore.

181
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,427
Was it?

182
00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:22,097
Oh, Boy Scouts
could've camped under there.

183
00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:23,765
GROUP:
Ooh.

184
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,768
- "Ooh," what?
- Ma Thurman.

185
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,103
- Oh.
- The actress.

186
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,063
Uma Thurman!

187
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,732
Thanks, Rach.

188
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,611
- What are you gonna you do?
- You have to tell her.

189
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,531
You have to tell her.
It's your moral obligation as a friend...

190
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:43,076
...as a woman. I think it's a feminist issue.
Guys? Guys?

191
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,120
Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.

192
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:46,788
Feminist issue? That's where I went.

193
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,083
She is gonna hate me.

194
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:51,710
Yeah, well.

195
00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,428
Will you pick one? Just pick one.

196
00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:02,929
Here, how about that one?

197
00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:05,682
That's patio furniture.

198
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:10,645
So what? Like people are gonna come in
and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again."

199
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:12,105
Fine.

200
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,232
What about the birds?

201
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:17,360
I don't know. Birds just don't say:

202
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:20,196
"Hello, sit here. Eat something."

203
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,782
You pick one.

204
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,325
How about the ladybugs?

205
00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:28,705
Oh, so forget about the birds,
but big red insects suggest fine dining?

206
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,207
Fine. Do you want the birds?
Get the birds.

207
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:33,251
Not like that, I won't.

208
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:37,839
Kip would've liked the birds.

209
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,518
- Hey.
- Hi, Pheebs.

210
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:51,978
Are you moving out?

211
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,189
No, these aren't all of my suitcases.

212
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:56,107
This one's Paolo's.

213
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,734
Um...

214
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,571
Um, Rachel, can we talk for a sec?

215
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,365
Well, sure. Just for a sec, though...

216
00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:06,785
...because Paolo's on his way over.
- Oh.

217
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,954
Okay. Um...

218
00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:11,956
Okay.

219
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:13,416
Um...

220
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:15,585
- Oh, Pheebs...
- Um, okay.

221
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:21,174
Um, ahem. We haven't known each other
for that long a time.

222
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:24,177
And, um, there are three things
that you should know about me.

223
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,764
One, my friends are the most
important thing in my life.

224
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:31,351
Two, I never lie.

225
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:35,480
And three, I make the best
oatmeal-raisin cookies in the world.

226
00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:41,110
Okay. Thanks, Pheebs.

227
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,992
Mm, my God.

228
00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:51,329
Why have I never tasted these before?

229
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:52,789
Oh, I don't make them a lot...

230
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:55,416
...because I don't think it's fair
to the other cookies.

231
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:00,922
Ahem, God.

232
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:05,635
Well, you're right. These are the best
oatmeal-raisin cookies I've ever had.

233
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:09,556
- Which proves that I never lie.
- I guess you don't.

234
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,307
Paolo made a pass at me.

235
00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:16,354
So, what do you think?

236
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,773
I think it's the most beautiful table
I've ever seen.

237
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,400
I know.

238
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:23,611
So how does this work? Gonna balance
the plates on these little heads?

239
00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:26,197
Who cares? We'll eat at the sink.
Come on.

240
00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:29,617
Heads up, Ross.

241
00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:32,662
Score! You suck.

242
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:37,500
Are you okay?

243
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:41,462
I need some milk.

244
00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:45,633
I've got milk.

245
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,056
Here you go.

246
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:01,733
Better?

247
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:04,861
No.

248
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:09,782
Ugh! I feel so stupid.

249
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:12,201
I think about the other day,
with you guys, you know.

250
00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:16,164
And I was all,
"Oh, Paolo. He's so great.

251
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:18,625
He makes me feel so..." Ugh!

252
00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,376
God.

253
00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:24,255
I'm so embarrassed.

254
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:25,840
I'm the one he hit on.

255
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,134
I unleashed him on you.
If I'd never met him...

256
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,719
...this would've never happened.

257
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,013
- I'm so sorry.
- No, I'm sorry.

258
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:33,431
BOTH:
No, I'm sorry.

259
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:34,974
Oh, wait. Oh.

260
00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:37,393
- What are we sorry about?
- I don't know.

261
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,604
Right. He's the pig.

262
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,482
- Such a pig.
- Oh, God, he's such a pig.

263
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:46,235
- Oh, he's like a big disgusting pig...
- Yeah, like a...

264
00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:48,738
- Pig man.
- Yes, good. Okay.

265
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,995
Oh, but he was my pig man.

266
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,832
How did I not see this?

267
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,794
Oh, I know!

268
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,881
Because...

269
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,925
...he's gorgeous.

270
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,760
And he's charming.

271
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,554
- And when he looks at you...
- Okay. Okay, Pheebs.

272
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,223
The end.

273
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,935
Ugh. God.

274
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,939
Should I not have told you?

275
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:26,943
No, trust me,
it's much better that I know.

276
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:34,450
Uh, I just liked it better before.
It was better.

277
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:52,176
I think she took it pretty well.

278
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:54,887
You know, Paolo's over there
right now, so...

279
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:57,348
Yeah, we should get over there
and see if she's okay.

280
00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,517
Just one second.

281
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,603
- Whoo! Score.
- Game. Us.

282
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,022
Yes.

283
00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:06,899
Come on, Pheebs.

284
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,234
Whoo.

285
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:11,279
Well, it looks like, uh,
we kicked your butts.

286
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,697
No, no. She kicked our butts.

287
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,491
You could be on the Olympic
"Standing There" team.

288
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,160
Come on. Two on one.

289
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:20,079
What are you still doing here?
She just broke up with the guy.

290
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:21,581
It's time for you to swoop in.

291
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,500
What? Now?

292
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,294
Yes. Now is when you swoop.

293
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,296
You gotta make sure
that when Paolo walks out...

294
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:30,173
...the first guy Rachel sees is you.

295
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:32,842
She's got to know
that you're everything he's not.

296
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,969
You're like... Like the anti-Paolo.

297
00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:38,681
My Catholic friend is right.

298
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,350
She's distraught. You're there for her.

299
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:44,729
You pick up the pieces,
and then you usher in:

300
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,273
The Age of Ross.

301
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,280
[PAOLO SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

302
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:55,448
RACHEL:
See this? See?

303
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,116
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

304
00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:02,246
- How's it going?
MONICA: Don't stare.

305
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,874
She just finished throwing
his clothes off the balcony.

306
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,376
Now there's just a lot of gesturing
and arm-waving.

307
00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:11,214
Okay, that is either, "How could you?"
Or "Enormous breasts."

308
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,675
Here he comes.

309
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:27,313
Uh, I am, uh...

310
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:28,773
...to say goodbye.

311
00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:30,983
Oh, okay, bye-bye.

312
00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:35,696
Paolo.

313
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:39,283
I really hate you for what you did to Rachel.
But I still have five of these...

314
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,453
...so heat it at 375
until the cheese bubbles.

315
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:45,998
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

316
00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:48,918
Paolo, I just wanna tell you...

317
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:53,005
...and I think I'd speak
for everyone when I say...

318
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,847
PHOEBE:
Oh. Just look at her.

319
00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:04,016
Oh, you guys, I really think only one of us
should go out there...

320
00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:06,060
...so she's not overwhelmed.
- Oh, right.

321
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:08,938
And I really think it should be me.

322
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:23,828
BOTH:
Hey.

323
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:26,998
You all right?

324
00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:30,585
Oh. I've been better.

325
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,588
[SIGHS]

326
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:35,631
Come here.

327
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,265
Listen...

328
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,893
...you deserve so much better than him.

329
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:49,645
You know? I mean, you...

330
00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:53,983
You should be with a guy who knows
what he has when he has you.

331
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:56,944
Ross...

332
00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,238
What?

333
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:02,617
I'm so sick of guys.

334
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:05,411
I don't want to look at another guy.

335
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,914
I don't want to think about another guy.

336
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:11,292
I don't even want to be near another guy.

337
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,877
[RACHEL SIGHS]

338
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:15,963
Huh.

339
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:21,886
- Ross, you're so great.
- Oh, ha, ha.

340
00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:34,857
MONICA: Are you all right?
PHOEBE: Are you okay?

341
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,692
Medium. Heh.

342
00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:39,362
- Any cookies left?
- Yeah.

343
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:43,115
Heh. See, Rach, um...

344
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:47,703
See, I don't think swearing off guys
altogether is the answer. I really don't.

345
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:52,625
I think what you need is to develop a more
sophisticated screening process.

346
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:56,796
No. No. I just need
to be by myself for a while.

347
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,839
You know?
I just gotta figure out what I want.

348
00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:01,175
No, no.

349
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:05,680
See, because not all guys out there
are gonna be a Paolo.

350
00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:07,723
No, I know. I know.

351
00:21:07,891 --> 00:21:11,686
And I'm sure your little boy's
not gonna grow up to be one.

352
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:15,106
- What?
- What?

353
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:19,068
[STAMMERING]
I'm having a boy?

354
00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:20,861
Uh, no.

355
00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:25,866
No. In fact, you're not having a boy.

356
00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:28,119
I'm having a boy.

357
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,746
[STAMMERING]
Am I having a boy?

358
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,791
- You're having a boy.
- Aah!

359
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,502
- I'm having a boy. I'm having a boy.
- Yes!

360
00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:37,795
- What?
- What is it?

361
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:40,339
I'm having a boy. I'm having a boy.

362
00:21:40,507 --> 00:21:41,966
Hey.

363
00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:45,970
[IN UNISON]
We already knew that.

364
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,891
I'm having a son.

365
00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:54,937
Um...

366
00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:01,652
Yes. And that would be a shutdown.

367
00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:03,112
[IN UNISON]
Shutout!

368
00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:09,118
Where you guys going?
Come on, one more game.

369
00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:12,621
- Oh. It's 2:30 in the morning.
- Yeah. Get out.

370
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:16,000
You guys are always hanging out
in my apartment.

371
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,711
Come on, I'll only use my left hand,
huh?

372
00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:20,963
Come on, wussies.

373
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,386
- All right. Okay. I gotta go.
- Mm-hm.

374
00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:28,971
I'm going.

375
00:22:29,139 --> 00:22:30,931
And I'm gone.

376
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:35,186
- One more game?
- Oh, yeah.