1
00:00:03,795 --> 00:00:05,004
Coffee.

2
00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:07,423
- Thank you.
- Cappuccino.

3
00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:08,757
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

4
00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:11,677
And a nice hot cider for Monica.

5
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,679
Aw, thank you.

6
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,180
- Rach?
- Yeah?

7
00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:17,975
Why does my cinnamon stick
have an eraser?

8
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:20,436
Oh.

9
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:21,937
Oh, heh.

10
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,814
That's why.

11
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:25,983
Sorry.

12
00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:26,752
TEDLOCK:
Chandler?

13
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,630
Miss Tedlock,
you're looking lovely today.

14
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:33,383
May I say that is a very
flattering sleeve length on you?

15
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,219
Yes.

16
00:01:35,386 --> 00:01:39,556
Well, Mr. Costilick would like you to stop
by his office at the end of the day.

17
00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:43,727
Oh, listen, if this is about those prank
memos, I had nothing to do with them.

18
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:46,230
Really, nothing at all. Really.

19
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:47,606
Nothing.

20
00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:52,945
Hey, you guys. You guys.

21
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,948
Chandler's coming, and he says
he has this incredible news.

22
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,534
So when he gets here,
let's all act like, you know...

23
00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:00,244
- Hey.
GROUP: Hey.

24
00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:03,038
Never mind.
But it was gonna be really good.

25
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,791
ROSS: What's going on?
RACHEL: What's up?

26
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,460
It's a typical day at work.
I'm inputting my numbers...

27
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,462
...and Big Al calls me into his office...

28
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,632
...and tells me he wants to make me
processing supervisor.

29
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,968
- That is great!
- Congratulations.

30
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,387
So I quit.

31
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,222
BOTH:
Why?

32
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,641
Why?
This was supposed to be a temp job.

33
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,727
Yeah, Chandler,
you've been there for five years.

34
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,312
I know, but if I took it this...

35
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,149
...it'd be like admitting
that this is what I actually do.

36
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:31,608
So was it a lot more money?

37
00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:34,403
Doesn't matter. I just don't want
to be one of those guys...

38
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:38,157
...that's in his office until 12:00 at night
worrying about the WENUS.

39
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:42,619
"The WENUS"?

40
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:46,665
Weekly estimated net usage system.
It's a processing term.

41
00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,668
Oh, that WENUS.

42
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,045
So, what are you gonna do?

43
00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:54,423
I don't know. That's the thing.
I don't know.

44
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,675
I'm not gonna figure it out
working there.

45
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,094
Oh! I have something you can do.

46
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,513
I have this new massage client.
Steve.

47
00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:06,018
Anyway, um, he's opening up
a restaurant...

48
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:09,021
...and he's looking for a head chef.

49
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:12,983
Um, hi there.

50
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,318
Hi.

51
00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:17,654
Oh, yeah, I know. You're a chef, I know,
and I thought of you first.

52
00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:21,200
But, um, Chandler's the one
who needs a job right now, so...

53
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:26,163
Yeah, I just don't have a lot
of chefing experience.

54
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:28,373
Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.

55
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:32,461
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Well, what kind of food is he looking for?

56
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:35,631
He wants to do something eclectic,
so he's looking for someone...

57
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:37,799
...who can, you know,
create the entire menu.

58
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:39,885
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, I know.

59
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,678
So, what do you think?

60
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:46,558
Thanks, Pheeb. I just don't really
see myself in a big white hat.

61
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:47,851
Okay.

62
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,313
Oh, Monica. Guess what?

63
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:03,909
Can you see my nipples
through this shirt?

64
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:09,748
No, but don't worry.
I'm sure they're still there.

65
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,709
Where you going, Mr. Suit-ey Man?

66
00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:15,879
Well, I have an appointment
to see Dr. Robert Pilman...

67
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,673
...career counselor-a-go-go.

68
00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:21,218
I added the "a-go-go."

69
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:22,761
Career counselor?

70
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,931
Hey, you guys all know
what you want to do.

71
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,808
I don't.

72
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:31,728
Hey, you guys in the living room
all know what you want to do.

73
00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:34,147
You know, you have goals.
You have dreams.

74
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:35,649
I don't have a dream.

75
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:39,236
Ah, the lesser known
"I Don't Have a Dream" speech.

76
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,699
Oh, I love my life. I love my life.

77
00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:45,701
Brian's Song.

78
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:49,830
The meeting with that guy went great?

79
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,874
So great. He showed me
where the restaurant's gonna be.

80
00:04:53,042 --> 00:04:55,127
It's this cute little place on 10th Street.

81
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,130
It's not too big, not too small.
It's just right.

82
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:01,383
Was it formerly owned
by a blond woman and some bears?

83
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:06,013
So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him
Monday night. Kind of like an audition.

84
00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:09,266
And Phoebe, he really wants you
to be here, which will be great for me.

85
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:10,809
Because you can make yummy noises.

86
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:13,270
- What are you gonna make?
- Yummy noises.

87
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,607
And, Monica, what are you gonna make?

88
00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:20,319
I don't know. I don't know.
It's just gotta be so great.

89
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,779
Oh! I know what you can make. I know.

90
00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:25,824
Oh, you should make that thing,
you know, with the stuff.

91
00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:31,455
You know that thing with the stuff?

92
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,166
Okay, I don't know.

93
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:38,170
Hey, guys, anyone know a good date place
in the neighborhood?

94
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:43,342
Uh, how about Tony's? If you can finish
a 32-ounce steak, it's free.

95
00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:46,928
Okay. Ahem.

96
00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:50,223
Hey, does anyone know a good place
if you're not dating a puma?

97
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:54,811
- Who are you going out with?
- Oh, is this the bug lady?

98
00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:57,606
[AS BUG LADY]
I love you, Ross.

99
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,526
Her name is Celia. She's not a bug lady.

100
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:04,112
She's curator of insects at the museum.

101
00:06:05,656 --> 00:06:07,282
So, what are you guys gonna do?

102
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:10,619
Well, I just thought we'd go to dinner,
then bring her back to my place...

103
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:13,330
...and I'd introduce her to my monkey.

104
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,834
And he's not speaking metaphorically.

105
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,340
- So back to your place?
- Uh-huh.

106
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,509
You thinking maybe, heh-heh?

107
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:30,180
Ahem, well, I don't know, heh-heh.

108
00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:32,766
I'm hoping heh-heh.

109
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:36,144
I'm telling you,
that monkey's a chick magnet.

110
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:40,857
She's gonna one look at his furry, cute
little face and it'll seal the deal.

111
00:06:43,027 --> 00:06:44,236
- Aah!
ROSS: Celia, don't worry.

112
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,864
Celia, he's not gonna hurt you.
Soothing tones, Celia, soothing tones.

113
00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:49,825
- Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- Aah!

114
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:53,870
- Here, here. Marcel? Marcel?
- I can't stand this.

115
00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:57,374
- He's got his claws on my...
- Yeah, all right.

116
00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:07,884
Okay, try this salmon mousse.

117
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,762
- Mm. Good.
MONICA: Yeah?

118
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,390
Is it better than
the other salmon mousse?

119
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,684
It's creamier.

120
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,019
Yeah? Well, is that better?

121
00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:21,606
I don't know.
We're talking about whipped fish, Monica.

122
00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:24,818
I'm just happy I'm keeping it down,
you know?

123
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,617
God, what happened to you?

124
00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:35,704
Eight and a half hours
of aptitude tests...

125
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:40,333
...intelligence tests, personality tests,
and what do I learn?

126
00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:43,170
"You're ideally suited for a career
in data processing...

127
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,714
...for a large multi-national corporation."

128
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:50,385
That's so great, because you
already know how to do that.

129
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,804
Can you believe it?

130
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:56,475
Don't I seem like somebody who should
be doing something really cool?

131
00:07:56,642 --> 00:08:00,479
You know, I just always
pictured myself doing something...

132
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:02,147
Something.

133
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,400
Oh, Chandler, I know, I know.

134
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:09,154
Oh, hey, you can see your nipples
through this shirt.

135
00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:11,948
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

136
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,577
Here you go.
Maybe this will cheer you up.

137
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,247
Ooh, you know, um,
I had a grape about five hours ago...

138
00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:20,832
...so I better split this with you.

139
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,920
It's supposed to be that small.
It's a pre-appetizer.

140
00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:28,173
The French call it an amuse-bouche.

141
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:33,762
Well, it is amusing.

142
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:37,057
[PHONE RINGS]

143
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,188
Hello? Oh, hi, Wendy.

144
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,190
Yeah, 8:00.

145
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,192
What did we say? Ten dollars an hour?

146
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:49,861
Okay, great.

147
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:52,155
All right, I'll see you then. Bye.

148
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:53,907
Ten dollars an hour for what?

149
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,618
I asked a waitress at work
to help me out.

150
00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:58,662
Waitressing?

151
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,288
Uh-oh.

152
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:04,751
Ha, ha. Of course I thought of you.

153
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,336
But...

154
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,505
- But...
- But, but?

155
00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:14,970
But, you see, it's just this night
has to go just perfect, you know...

156
00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:19,349
...and, well, Wendy's more
of a professional waitress.

157
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:21,351
Oh.

158
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:24,396
I see. Yes. And I've sort of been
maintaining my amateur status...

159
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,565
...so that I can waitress in the Olympics.

160
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:34,823
You know, I don't mean to brag,
but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76.

161
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:40,870
Amuse-bouche?

162
00:09:58,055 --> 00:09:59,556
Talk to me.

163
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:05,687
Okay, uh, ahem, a weird thing happened
to me on the train this morning...

164
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:09,608
No, no, no. Talk dirty.

165
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:16,239
- Wow. Here?
- Come on.

166
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:17,866
Come on.

167
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,701
Say something...

168
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,286
...hot.

169
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,581
- What?
- Uh...

170
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:27,083
- What?
- Ooh.

171
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:29,669
- What?
- Um...

172
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,129
What?

173
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,131
- What?
- Vulva.

174
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:41,389
"Vulva"?

175
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:45,810
All right, I panicked, all right?

176
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,729
She took me by surprise.

177
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:51,858
You know, but it wasn't a total loss.
I mean, uh, we ended up cuddling.

178
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:54,903
Whoa, you cuddled? How many times?

179
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,531
Shut up. It was nice. I just...

180
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:01,785
I just don't think I'm the dirty-talking
kind of guy, you know?

181
00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:04,537
What's the big deal?
Just say what you want to do to her.

182
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,748
Or what you want her to do to you.

183
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,959
Or what you think other people
might be doing to each other.

184
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,755
Look, I tell you what.
Try something on me.

185
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:17,884
Please be kidding.

186
00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:21,763
Why not? Come on.

187
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:25,642
Just close your eyes and tell me
what you'd like to be doing right now.

188
00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:32,774
Okay, I'm, uh...

189
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:35,443
I'm in my apartment...

190
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:36,945
Yeah, what else?

191
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,906
That's it. You're not there.
We're not having this conversation.

192
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,492
- All right. Look, I'll start, okay?
- Joey, please.

193
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,078
Come on, come on.
All right, ready? Look.

194
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:47,205
Oh, Ross.

195
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:53,253
You get me so hot,
I want your lips on me now.

196
00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:55,422
See?

197
00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:01,720
- All right, now you say something.
- I, uh... I really don't think so.

198
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:03,263
Come on.

199
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:04,889
- You like this woman, right?
- Yeah.

200
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,599
- You wanna see her again, right?
- Sure.

201
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:09,894
Well, if you can't talk dirty to me,
how are you gonna talk dirty to her?

202
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,439
Now tell me you want to caress my butt.

203
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,571
Okay, turn around.

204
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:22,907
I just don't want you staring at me
when I'm doing this.

205
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:25,869
All right, all right.
I'm not looking. Go ahead.

206
00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:27,370
Okay.

207
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,624
Ahem, I want, um...

208
00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:33,918
Okay, I want...

209
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:35,336
...to feel...

210
00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:38,548
...your hot, soft skin with my lips.

211
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:40,717
There you go.

212
00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:43,344
Keep going, keep going.

213
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,346
I, uh...

214
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,727
I want to take my tongue and...

215
00:12:58,444 --> 00:12:59,903
And...

216
00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:01,696
Say it.

217
00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:06,284
Say it!

218
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:09,496
Run it all over your body...

219
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,250
...until you're trembling with...

220
00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:35,396
With?

221
00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:39,567
- Funny story.
- You're not gonna believe this.

222
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:41,152
It's okay. It's okay.

223
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,697
I was always rooting for you
two kids to get together.

224
00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:49,577
Hey, while you were sleeping,
that guy from your old job called again.

225
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:50,787
Oh. Again?

226
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:53,540
- And again and again and again.
- And again.

227
00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:55,375
[PHONE RINGS]

228
00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:00,046
Hello? Heh. And again.

229
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:01,297
Ah.

230
00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:05,218
Hey, Mr. Costilick.
How's life on the 15th floor?

231
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:08,096
Yeah, I miss you too.

232
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:12,392
Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens
from your own home, you know?

233
00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:15,562
Well, that's very generous.

234
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:18,189
Uh, but look, this isn't about the money.

235
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:20,400
You know? I need something
that's more than a job.

236
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:23,111
I need something I really care about...

237
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:26,489
And that's on top of the year-end
bonus structure you mentioned earlier?

238
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:27,991
BOTH:
Your dream.

239
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:31,452
Look, Al.
Al, I'm not playing hardball here, okay?

240
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:34,831
This is not a negotiation.
This is a rejection.

241
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,833
No... No, no. No, no.

242
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,585
No, stop saying numbers!

243
00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:42,297
I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy!
You got the wrong guy!

244
00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:43,965
I'll see you Monday!

245
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:48,970
Ah.

246
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:57,604
Huh?

247
00:14:57,771 --> 00:15:00,106
Wow. It's huge.

248
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:02,650
It's so much bigger than the cubicle.

249
00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:05,945
Oh, this is a cube.

250
00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:07,780
Look at this.

251
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:10,909
[GASPS]

252
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,661
You have a window!

253
00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:15,830
Yes, indeedy.

254
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:20,335
- With a beautiful view of...
- Oh, look. That guy's peeing.

255
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:24,923
Okay. That's enough of the view.
All right, check this out.

256
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,675
- Ahem. Okay, sit down here. Sit down.
- Okay.

257
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:29,969
Okay, this is great. This is great.

258
00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:32,430
- Ahem. You ready?
- Yeah.

259
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:35,350
Helen, could you come in here
for a moment?

260
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:42,315
Thank you, Helen, that'll be all.

261
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,819
Last time I do that. I promise.

262
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,202
Wendy, we had a deal.

263
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,496
Yeah, you promised.

264
00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:59,290
Wendy. Wendy. Wendy!

265
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:00,750
[GROANS]

266
00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:05,213
Hmm, who was that?

267
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:10,218
Wendy bailed. I have no waitress.

268
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,638
That's too bad.

269
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:15,974
Bye-bye.

270
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,559
- Ten dollars an hour.
- Nope.

271
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,061
Twelve dollars an hour.

272
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:23,856
Mon, I wish I could,
but I've made plans to walk around.

273
00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:28,319
You know, Rachel, when you ran out
on your wedding, I was there for you.

274
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:32,407
I put a roof over your head,
and if that means nothing to you...

275
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,034
Twenty dollars an hour.

276
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:37,662
Done.

277
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:46,170
- Well, hello. Welcome to Monica's.
- Hello.

278
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:47,964
May I take your coat?

279
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:53,469
- Hi, Steve.
- Hello, Monica.

280
00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:56,014
Hello, greeter girl.

281
00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:59,100
- This is Rachel.
- Yeah, okay.

282
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:03,271
Mm, everything smells so delicious.

283
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:07,775
You know, I can't remember a time
I smelled such a delicious combination of...

284
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:09,485
Okay, smells.

285
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:12,280
Well, it's a lovely apartment.

286
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,074
Oh, thank you. Would you like a tour?

287
00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:18,077
I was just being polite, but all right.

288
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,331
What? What's up?

289
00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:26,711
In the cab on the way over,
Steve blazed up a doobie.

290
00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:29,464
What?

291
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:32,216
Smoked a joint, you know?
Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja.

292
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:33,718
Okay, okay, okay.

293
00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:38,097
Okay, I'm with you, Cheech. Okay.

294
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,517
Is it dry in here?

295
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:46,814
Let me get you some wine.

296
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:49,650
Yeah, I think we're ready
for our first course too.

297
00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:51,652
Okay...

298
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:55,031
These are rock shrimp ravioli...

299
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,366
...in a cilantro ponzu sauce...
- Oh.

300
00:17:57,534 --> 00:17:59,911
...with just a touch of minced...

301
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:06,417
...ginger.

302
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:09,670
Well, smack my ass and call me Judy.

303
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,009
These are fantastic.

304
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,804
Oh, gosh. I'm so glad you liked them.

305
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,264
Like them?
I could eat a hundred of them.

306
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,392
Oh. Well, um...

307
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,686
That's all there is of these...

308
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:29,273
...but in about eight and a half minutes,
we'll be serving some delicious tartlets.

309
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,442
"Tartlets"? Heh.

310
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:35,905
"Tartlets."

311
00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:39,784
Word has lost all meaning.

312
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:49,085
Excuse me.
Can I help you with anything?

313
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:51,671
You know, I don't know
what I'm looking for.

314
00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:09,730
Oh, cool. Taco shells.

315
00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:15,862
You know, these are... They are like a little
corn envelope, you know?

316
00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:18,656
You know what?
You don't want to spoil your appetite.

317
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:21,159
Hey. Sugar-O's.

318
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:24,120
You know, if you just wait
another six and a half minutes...

319
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,998
Oh. Macaroni and cheese.
We gotta make this.

320
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:33,963
No, we don't.

321
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,257
Oh, okay.

322
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:38,593
Oh, sorry.

323
00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:45,057
Yeah, why don't you
just have a seat here?

324
00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:49,228
Okay.

325
00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:52,106
Okay. Give me the Gummy Bears.

326
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:54,567
Yeah, I... No.

327
00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,863
- Give them to me.
- All right, we'll share.

328
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,532
- No. Give me the bears.
- Well, then you can't have any.

329
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,409
- Give them to me.
- This is not worth it.

330
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:07,997
Oh, oh! Bears overboard.
They're drowning.

331
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:12,585
Hey, fellas. Grab onto a Sugar-O.
Save yourselves.

332
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:17,798
Help! Help! I'm drowning. Help! Help!

333
00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:19,592
That's it, okay? Dinner is over.

334
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:20,927
- What?
- "What"?

335
00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:22,511
- Why?
MONICA: "Why"?

336
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:25,097
I've waited seven years
for an opportunity like this...

337
00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:28,559
...and you can't even wait four and a half
minutes for a stupid onion tartlet?

338
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:29,936
[OVEN TIMER DINGS]

339
00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:31,520
Hey...

340
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:40,947
What a tool.

341
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:44,325
You don't want to work
for a guy like that.

342
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:48,621
I know. It's just... I don't know,
I just thought that this was, you know, "it."

343
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,748
Look, you'll get there.
You're an amazing chef.

344
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:53,709
Yeah, you know all those yummy noises?
I wasn't faking.

345
00:20:57,297 --> 00:20:58,547
[CLEARS THROAT]

346
00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:04,387
So, uh, how did it go with Celia?

347
00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:07,848
Oh, uh, I was unbelievable.

348
00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:09,976
All right, Ross.

349
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:13,187
I was the James Michener of dirty talk.

350
00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:15,856
It was the most elaborate filth
you have ever heard.

351
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:19,527
I mean, there were characters,
plot lines...

352
00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:21,320
...themes, a motif.

353
00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:24,240
At one point, there were villagers.

354
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:27,660
Oh, and, uh...

355
00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:32,123
Well, um, you know, by the time
we finished with all the dirty talk...

356
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,875
...it was kind of late
and we were both exhausted, so...

357
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:37,670
- You cuddled.
- Yeah, which was nice.

358
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:40,840
Do you guys want to try to catch
a late movie or something?

359
00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:43,134
Maybe, but shouldn't we wait
for Chandler?

360
00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:45,678
Whoa. Where the hell is he?

361
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,180
Yes, Fran, I know what time it is...

362
00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:51,475
...but I'm looking at the WENUS
and I'm not happy.

363
00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:54,854
Oh, really?
Well, let me tell you something.

364
00:21:55,022 --> 00:21:59,608
You will care about it because
I care about it. Got it? Good!

365
00:22:02,612 --> 00:22:04,113
Whoa.

366
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:17,084
- How's this?
- Eek!

367
00:22:17,252 --> 00:22:19,462
- Sorry. How about over here?
- Oh!

368
00:22:19,629 --> 00:22:21,589
See, now, that just means it's working.

369
00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:23,924
- Does this hurt?
- No.

370
00:22:24,092 --> 00:22:26,594
- How about this?
- Aah!

371
00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:27,970
There you go.

372
00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:29,597
[CONTINUES YELLING]

373
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:36,354
Oh, I'm gonna throw up.

374
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:38,272
[CONTINUES YELLING]