1
00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:07,381
Joey, would you slow down?

2
00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:10,259
They're not gonna be sold out of papers
at 1:00 in the morning.

3
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:13,053
I'm excited.
I've never gotten reviewed before.

4
00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:16,807
You were so amazing as the king.
I'm really impressed. I was.

5
00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:18,308
PHOEBE:
But you know what?

6
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:21,020
You might wanna consider
wearing underwear next time.

7
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:24,940
Because when you sat on your throne,
you could kind of see your...

8
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,775
...royal subjects.

9
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:29,695
Here it is. Here it is.

10
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,866
"The only thing worse than
the mindless adolescent direction...

11
00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:38,871
...was Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly
unskilled portrayal of the king."

12
00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:41,582
Okay, look.
That is one guy's opinion.

13
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:44,460
- All right? Pheebs, read yours.
- Okay.

14
00:00:44,669 --> 00:00:48,297
"The only thing worse than the mindless,
adolescent direction..."

15
00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:50,549
Does anybody have one
from a different paper?

16
00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:53,302
Ross, read yours.

17
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,345
I don't want to.

18
00:00:56,973 --> 00:01:00,350
Joey, honey, they don't know
what they're talking about.

19
00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:01,852
Maybe they do.

20
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:05,064
I've been doing this 10 years
and I haven't gotten anywhere.

21
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,273
There's gotta be a reason.

22
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,734
Come on, man, you're just, uh,
paying your dues.

23
00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:11,111
No, no, no. It's too hard.

24
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,238
It's not worth it. I quit.

25
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,698
RACHEL: What?
ROSS: That's crazy.

26
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,284
Wait, wait one minute. Wait a minute.

27
00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:20,245
I believe this will change your mind.

28
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:25,709
"In a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiani was
able to achieve brilliant new levels of..."

29
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,544
Continued on page 153.

30
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:29,546
"...sucking."

31
00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:19,429
When I was little,
I wanted to be a veterinarian.

32
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:23,016
But then I found out you have to
put your hands into cows and stuff.

33
00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:26,645
Hi.

34
00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:29,398
PHOEBE:
Are you okay?

35
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:32,276
Yeah, just a tough day at work,
you know?

36
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,778
Stegosaurus fell over, trapped a kid.

37
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:40,450
I know this jacket.
This is Fun Bobby's jacket.

38
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,786
Where is he? What? He's here, isn't he?

39
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,788
- Maybe.
- Don't toy with me.

40
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,958
- Geller!
- Hey, Fun Bobby.

41
00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:50,043
Whoa, hey. You been working out?

42
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:51,295
Not at all.

43
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,005
I love this guy.

44
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,842
I was so psyched to hear
you're back with my sister.

45
00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:59,178
- You and me both.
- So, what'd I miss? Come on.

46
00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:01,722
Oh. We were trying
to make Joey feel better.

47
00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:05,726
- Hey, do you need me to pick you up?
- No, I'm all right, man, really.

48
00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:07,311
No, I'm picking you up.

49
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,813
Hey, no, seriously.
I don't need you to...

50
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,274
[JOEY LAUGHS]

51
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,818
- All right, it still works.
- Okay.

52
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:18,363
Now, before I go, does anybody else
need to be picked up?

53
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:19,990
I'm still gonna go.

54
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,577
- Okay, I'll see you later, babe.
BOBBY: Ah.

55
00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:28,165
Public display of affection coming up.
You can avert your eyes.

56
00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:30,083
Mm.

57
00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:37,382
- See you.
ALL: Bye.

58
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,593
Fun Bobby is so great.

59
00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:40,928
Oh, isn't he?

60
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:45,849
I really think this time it may work with him.
I mean, he makes me feel so good.

61
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:49,394
And I've been feeling so lousy,
you know, no job, no boyfriend.

62
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,855
Well, at least my cup is half full.

63
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,691
Half full of love.

64
00:03:57,195 --> 00:04:00,948
And for our two-week anniversary,
he's gonna take me to his cousin's cabin.

65
00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:03,116
Cabin of love.

66
00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:07,579
We went through a lot of wine tonight,
you guys.

67
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:10,290
- Really? I only had two glasses.
- I just had a glass.

68
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,459
- Two.
- I had one glass.

69
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,211
I had about a mug full in this lovely...

70
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:17,381
..."I got boned at the Museum
of Natural History" mug.

71
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,802
Okay, so that's, what? Two bottles.

72
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,471
And yet somehow we went through five?

73
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,312
CHANDLER:
Whoa.

74
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,773
Oh.

75
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,861
So what? So he drank a lot tonight.

76
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,989
Yeah, but, you know,
now that I think about it...

77
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:46,326
...I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby
without a drink in his hand.

78
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,620
PHOEBE:
Yeah. Ooh, ooh, yeah, you know?

79
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:51,748
Did you notice how he always
starts his stories with, um:

80
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:55,294
"Okay, I was so wasted," or,
"Oh, we were so bombed."

81
00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:59,840
Or, um, "So I wake up and I'm
in this Dumpster in Connecticut."

82
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:04,761
Monica, have you ever been with him
when he wasn't drinking?

83
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:08,682
Well, we just happen to go to
a lot of places where you might drink.

84
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:12,102
I mean, how do you go to a wine-tasting
without having a drink?

85
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,938
Or to a club, or to the...

86
00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:16,440
...zoo.

87
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,822
Rach, does this have nonfat milk?

88
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,325
Um, I don't know, why don't you taste it?

89
00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:29,995
Mm. No.

90
00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:32,122
Oh, well, too late, you already had some.

91
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,837
What do you say we make these, uh,
coffees Irish?

92
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,592
Um, cake.

93
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:47,554
Yeah, we're gonna...
We're gonna get some cake.

94
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:54,144
You know, it seems like you've been
making an awful lot of stuff Irish lately.

95
00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:58,732
I would make them Belgian, but the waffles
are hard to get into that flask.

96
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,650
Bobby.

97
00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:01,860
Yeah, okay.

98
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:05,989
Look, maybe this is none of my business,
or maybe it is, I don't know.

99
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:09,034
But, um, I'm kind of worried about you.

100
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:13,705
Okay, look, this isn't the first time
somebody said something to me about this.

101
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:18,377
But, I don't know, I always made excuses,
like "I'm just a social drinker."

102
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:21,088
Or "Hey, come on, it's Flag Day."

103
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,008
So, what are you saying now?

104
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,387
I guess I'm saying...

105
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,013
...I'll try and quit.

106
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:32,391
I kind of like that you worry about me.

107
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,021
So, what's going on?

108
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,565
I am gonna try and quit drinking.

109
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,359
Oh. Why?

110
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:47,197
- Hey.
- Hey.

111
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,116
MONICA: Hey.
PHOEBE: Hey.

112
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:50,951
Guess who's back in show business.

113
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,286
Ooh, ooh. Lorne Greene?

114
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,166
No, Pheebs. You know why?
Because he's dead.

115
00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,626
Oh, no.

116
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:04,047
Okay, I guess this is gonna seem
bittersweet now...

117
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,841
...but Joey, that's who.

118
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:07,509
PHOEBE: Oh, yay!
RACHEL: Really?

119
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:10,637
My agent just called me with an audition
for Days of our Lives.

120
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,181
Kick ass.

121
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:17,060
We have to celebrate.
We should do a soap opera theme.

122
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:20,730
Hey, yeah. We could all sleep together,
and then one of us could get amnesia.

123
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,654
Rach, what time do you get off?
We're all gonna do something tonight.

124
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:32,242
Uh, well, actually, I'm already done.
Ahem. But I kind of got plans.

125
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,452
[MONICA GASPS]

126
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:34,911
You have other friends?

127
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,915
Yeah, I, uh... I have a date.

128
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,126
- What?
- With a man?

129
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,754
What? What is so strange
about me having a date?

130
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,173
What about Ross?

131
00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:48,884
Are you still mad at him
because he made that list about...?

132
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:51,511
No, no, I'm not mad at him.

133
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:54,306
I'm not really anything at him anymore.

134
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,975
- What are you talking about?
- I don't know.

135
00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:02,272
Whatever I was feeling, I'm... not.

136
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,107
But you guys came so close.

137
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:07,402
Oh, I know. I'm sorry, you guys.
You're gonna have to get used to the fact...

138
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,696
...that I will not be dating Ross.

139
00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:14,117
Here he is. Hi.

140
00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:16,620
Guys, this is Russ.

141
00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:18,580
Hi.

142
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:33,970
No, no, no. I'm not saying
you're not talented. You're very talented.

143
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:38,517
It's just that with the bird dead and all,
there's very little act left.

144
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:42,562
Oh, honey, give me a break, will you?
Oh, oh. I'll talk to you later.

145
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,648
Well, there's my favorite client.

146
00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:47,442
So tell me, darling,
how was the audition?

147
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:51,655
Well, I think it went pretty well.
I got a callback for Thursday.

148
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:54,950
Joey. Have you ever seen me ecstatic?

149
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:58,662
- No.
- Well, here it is.

150
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:06,127
Okay. Uh, listen, there's something
I want to talk to you about.

151
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:09,673
- The network casting lady...
- Oh, isn't Lori a doll?

152
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,925
Yeah, yeah, she's great.

153
00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:16,972
But I kind of got the feeling
that she was sort of coming on to me.

154
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:21,560
And I definitely would get the part
if I were to, you know...

155
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,608
- lf I would have sent the little general in.
- Oh.

156
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:34,614
I see. Well, I'm just gonna
put in a call here...

157
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,659
...and we'll find out what's going on
and straighten it out.

158
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:40,954
Yeah, hi. Lori, please.

159
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,874
Hi, darling.

160
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:48,128
So how about Joey Tribbiani
for the part of the cab driver?

161
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,088
Isn't he terrific?

162
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:54,175
Uh-huh.

163
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:56,886
Okay, doll, talk to you later.

164
00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:59,180
Yeah, you're gonna have to
sleep with her.

165
00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,103
RACHEL: What's the matter?
MONICA: Fun Bobby.

166
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,646
What? Isn't he sober?

167
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,273
Oh, he's sober all right.

168
00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:11,234
Just turns out that Fun Bobby
was fun for a reason.

169
00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:15,155
Ah. Okay.

170
00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:18,450
All right, here you go, sweetie.

171
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,828
BOBBY:
Thanks. You wanna hear something funny?

172
00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:23,663
Oh, God, yes.

173
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:29,669
There are no hardware stores open
past midnight in the Village.

174
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,299
That is funny.

175
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:37,636
I needed to buy a hammer
the other night...

176
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:40,180
...and I'm out walking
around the neighborhood.

177
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:41,806
But apparently...

178
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:46,770
...there are no hardware stores open
past midnight in the Village.

179
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:54,110
Uh, say, honey, don't you have to
be at your interview?

180
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,779
Oh, yeah.

181
00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:00,784
BOBBY: See you guys.
CHANDLER: Bye...

182
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,703
...ridiculously dull Bobby.

183
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:08,041
- Oh, my God.
- He's not that bad.

184
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:12,212
Not that bad?
Did you not hear the hammer story?

185
00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:14,589
Okay, okay, don't get all squinky.

186
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:19,094
Maybe it was just the kind of story
where you had to be there.

187
00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:20,637
But I'm gonna be there.

188
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:23,264
For the rest of my life.

189
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,851
I can't break up with him.
I made him quit drinking.

190
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:29,771
- He's dull because of me.
- All right, don't say that.

191
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:33,358
He's probably always been dull.
You just, you know...

192
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:34,901
...set it free.

193
00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:39,531
- Hi.
- Hey, Ross. Ah.

194
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:41,866
RACHEL:
Hi, Russ.

195
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,619
I've just got two more tables to clean,
and then we'll go, okay?

196
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:47,706
Okay. I'll just sit here and, uh...

197
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,999
...chat with your, uh...

198
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,962
...friend-type people.

199
00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:01,636
Rachel? Um, hi.

200
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:02,887
- Hi.
- Okay.

201
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,597
So you know what you're doing, right?

202
00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:06,474
Ha, ha. Waitressing?

203
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,227
Well, yeah. But, no. I mean, um...

204
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:12,981
Doesn't Russ just
remind you of someone?

205
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:17,610
- Huh. Bob Saget?
- Oh, yeah.

206
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,406
- No, no, no. Oh, oh.
- Hi.

207
00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:22,866
Oh, my, oh.

208
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,659
What...? What's wrong?

209
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:28,621
- I... Okay.
- She's just upset because she, uh...

210
00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:30,957
She buttered a spider
into her toast this morning.

211
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:32,667
CHANDLER:
Mm-hm.

212
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,002
All right.

213
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,882
Listen, Pheebs.
This is gonna be okay.

214
00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:41,301
Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.

215
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:44,888
- Hi.
- Hi.

216
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,515
Are you a, uh, friend of Rachel's?

217
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:48,767
Yes. Yes, I am.

218
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:51,603
Are you a, uh, friend of Rachel's?

219
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,731
Actually, I'm, uh, kind of a...

220
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,107
...you know...

221
00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:59,235
...a date-type thing...

222
00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:00,695
...of Rachel's.

223
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:04,824
- A date?
- Yeah. I'm her date.

224
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,785
Oh. Oh, you're, uh...

225
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,621
Oh, you're the date.

226
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,372
You know, this is actually good...

227
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:14,209
...because if we ever lose Ross,
we have a spare.

228
00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:17,754
Oh. You are the, uh, paleontologist.

229
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:21,341
Yes. Yes, I am. And you are a...

230
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,260
Periodontist.

231
00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:27,597
See? Now they're
as different as night and...

232
00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:29,891
...later that night.

233
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:34,103
Well, I am going to, uh, get a beverage.
Heh.

234
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:37,607
- Uh, it was nice, uh, meeting you.
- Ditto.

235
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:45,240
I, uh... Well, I met Russ.

236
00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:46,491
[ROSS CHUCKLES]

237
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,867
Oh.

238
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:50,745
Hey, I didn't know
we were, uh, seeing other people.

239
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:54,207
- Well, we're not seeing each other, so...
- Huh.

240
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,877
Well, uh, for your information,
there's a woman at the museum...

241
00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:01,089
...who's curator of moths and other, uh...

242
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,300
...winged things...

243
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:09,681
...who's, uh, let it be known
that she is drawn to me, much like a...

244
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:12,141
...you know. Ahem.

245
00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:15,144
Well, so far I've been keeping her at bay,
but, uh, if this is the deal...

246
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,563
Yeah, this is the deal.

247
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:18,773
- Okay, well, um, have a nice evening.
- Thank you.

248
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,901
- Russ, are you ready?
- Yeah.

249
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,280
RACHEL: Bye.
MONICA: Bye.

250
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:31,411
She's dating?

251
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:34,747
Yes. Yes, but did you see
who she was dating?

252
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,457
What do you mean?

253
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,835
- Do you not see it?
- See what?

254
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:41,838
I don't know what she sees
in that goober.

255
00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:47,719
It takes him, what?
Like, I don't know, uh...

256
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:50,847
...hello, a week to get out a sentence?

257
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:52,932
Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it?

258
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,767
[CHUCKLES]

259
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:56,644
Yeah.

260
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,945
- Hey.
JOEY: Hey.

261
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:07,989
Whoa, whoa.

262
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:10,742
I'm guessing you didn't get the part...

263
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,536
...or, uh, Italy called
and said it was hungry?

264
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,289
Well, the part's mine if I want it.

265
00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:17,874
Oh, my God.

266
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,835
Yeah. If I'm willing to sleep
with the casting lady.

267
00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:22,253
Oh, my...

268
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:24,213
...God?

269
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:28,593
Ten years I've been waiting for
a break like this, Chandler. Ten years.

270
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:32,513
I mean, Days of our Lives.
That's actually on television.

271
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:34,849
So, what are you gonna do?

272
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,560
I guess I could sleep with her.
I mean...

273
00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:39,187
How can I do that?

274
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:43,232
Well, I've got a pop-up book
that told me everything I needed to know.

275
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,194
I've never slept with someone for a part.

276
00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:47,528
Well, is she...?

277
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:50,865
Sorry.

278
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,202
- Is she good-looking?
- Yeah.

279
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:57,538
She's totally good-looking.
I mean, if I met her in a bar or something...

280
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,041
...I'd be buying her breakfast.

281
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,795
You know, after having slept with her.

282
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:11,636
You know, maybe this isn't
such a big deal.

283
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:17,350
I mean, the way that I see it is, you get
a great job and you get to have sex.

284
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,561
You know? Throw in a tree and a fat guy,
and you've got Christmas.

285
00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:28,194
I just... I just don't think
that I want it that way though, you know?

286
00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:30,905
I mean, let's say I do make it, all right?

287
00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:34,283
I'm always gonna look back and wonder
if it was because of my talent...

288
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:37,370
...or because of, you know,
the little general.

289
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:42,750
Didn't you used to call it the little major?

290
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:45,753
Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco,
I had to promote it.

291
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,261
Can I get you something from the bar?

292
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,221
Yes, I would like something.

293
00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:58,307
No. No, thank you.

294
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:02,270
No, if you want a drink, it's okay with me.
I've gotta get used to it.

295
00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:05,231
No, no, really.
I wouldn't feel right about it.

296
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:06,983
Just some water, please.

297
00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:11,237
- So the light went out in my refrigerator.
- Scotch on the rocks with a twist.

298
00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:13,990
I'm sorry.

299
00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:16,576
Hey, we're having some fun now,
huh, Ross?

300
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,162
Wanna do another one?
Huh, Russ?

301
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,833
Okay. Eleven letters...

302
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:27,503
...atomic element number 101,
ends in "ium."

303
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,882
- Dysprosium.
- Ha, ha. Dysprosium.

304
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,592
Try mendelevium.

305
00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:35,053
And weenie number two has it.

306
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:39,640
Unless of course 9 Down, "Nights in White
Satin" was sung by the Doody Blues.

307
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,105
You don't see it?
You actually don't see it?

308
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:49,525
- What?
- Okay, honey, you're dating Ross.

309
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,486
No, Pheebs, I'm dating Russ.

310
00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:54,155
Russ is Ross. Russ, Ross.

311
00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:55,698
Steve, sleeve.

312
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,451
Okay, no one is named sleeve.

313
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:01,204
Phoebe, what the hell
are we talking about?

314
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:05,500
Other than their names being similar,
I'm sorry, I do not see what you're seeing.

315
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:09,879
For your information,
it's a card sharp, not a card shark.

316
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,672
You could not be more wrong.

317
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,383
You could try,
but you would not be successful.

318
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:19,555
Okay, I'm gonna get some more coffee
before the pinching and eye-poking begins.

319
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:24,227
- I know what your problem is.
- Oh, you do, do you?

320
00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:25,728
Mm-hm. You're jealous.

321
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,982
Uh, of what?

322
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,693
You're jealous because I'm a real doctor.

323
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,278
[CHUCKLES]

324
00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:36,489
Hey, you're a doctor of gums.

325
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:39,242
That's the smallest body part
you can major in.

326
00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:43,579
It's like, day one, floss.
Day two, here's your diploma.

327
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:44,914
- Now, you listen...
- No, no.

328
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,916
ROSS: Let me finish.
RUSS: No, let me finish.

329
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:49,127
No, you let me fin...

330
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,547
- Hi.
- Hi.

331
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:55,341
Ew.

332
00:18:56,009 --> 00:18:58,219
Ew, ew, ew.

333
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:05,017
- Did Joey say what he was gonna do?
CHANDLER: No.

334
00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:07,103
I don't even think he knew.

335
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,856
Hey, would you sleep with somebody
to get a great job?

336
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:12,608
I don't know.
Who would I have to sleep with?

337
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,277
Me.

338
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,197
Why would I have to sleep with you?

339
00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:20,658
It's my game. You want the job or not?

340
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,162
- Hi.
- Hey.

341
00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,622
- Good morning.
- Where you going?

342
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,083
Bobby and I are going away
for the weekend. Remember?

343
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:30,334
ROSS:
Oh.

344
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:32,837
PHOEBE:
What's with all the bottles of liquor?

345
00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:35,464
What's going on?
Is, uh, Bobby drinking again?

346
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,134
Oh, no, this is not for him.
This is for me.

347
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:43,264
That way, he's still sober, but I find
his stories about shoelaces more amusing.

348
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,851
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

349
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:51,230
Ugh, God. Even his knock is boring.

350
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:57,111
- Hi. I'll be ready in just a second.
- Uh, could I talk to you a minute?

351
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:58,446
Sure.

352
00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:03,743
- This is really hard for me to say.
- Oh, God. You fell off the wagon.

353
00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:05,161
Oh, no, no.

354
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:06,579
It's about you.

355
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,331
What about me?

356
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,083
I think you may have a drinking problem.

357
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:15,838
What, these?

358
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:19,258
No, these are, um, for cuts and scrapes.

359
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:24,639
Look, I am just not strong enough to be
in a codependent relationship right now.

360
00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:28,184
Oh, shoot.

361
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:33,022
Well, anyway,
I hope we can be friends.

362
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,774
Okay.

363
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:38,444
Take care.

364
00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:41,155
- Okay. You too.
- Bye.

365
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:45,701
What happened?

366
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,996
Well, we kind of broke up.

367
00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,249
ALL:
Aw.

368
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,672
Does anybody want these?

369
00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,090
I'll take one.

370
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:03,636
Sometimes I like to hold stuff like this
and pretend I'm a giant.

371
00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:10,893
- Hey.
- Hey. How'd the callback go?

372
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:14,855
Ugh, it was unbelievable.
I walked in there and she was all over me.

373
00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:17,149
- So, what did you do?
- Well, I couldn't do it.

374
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,278
- I told her I didn't want the part that way.
- Good for you.

375
00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:22,822
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
But then after I left her office...

376
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:26,367
...she caught up with me at the elevator
and offered me an even bigger part.

377
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:27,743
So, and?

378
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:33,916
So you are now looking
at Dr. Drake Ramoray, neurosurgeon...

379
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,127
...recurring in at least four episodes.

380
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,795
CHANDLER:
All right!

381
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,755
All right, I gotta go shower.

382
00:21:53,186 --> 00:21:54,520
Hi.

383
00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,355
- Oh, hey.
- Hi.

384
00:21:56,523 --> 00:21:58,941
I guess you guys heard
Rachel dumped me.

385
00:21:59,109 --> 00:22:00,526
Yeah, I'm sorry, man.

386
00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:03,612
All she said was that I remind her
too much of somebody.

387
00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:05,614
You have any idea who
she's talking about?

388
00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:10,244
Oh, I do. It's Bob Saget.

389
00:22:12,205 --> 00:22:14,040
- She hates him.
RUSS: Oh.

390
00:22:14,207 --> 00:22:16,500
- Hey.
CHANDLER: Hey, Julie.

391
00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:17,835
PHOEBE:
Hey, how are you doing?

392
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:21,714
Oh. I don't know. I mean,
it's definitely weird not being with Ross...

393
00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:24,008
...but I guess I'm doing okay.

394
00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:27,094
Actually, I've got some of his stuff
that he, um...

395
00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:45,529
[English - US - SDH]