1
00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,713
Hey. We are so in luck.

2
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:08,465
Treeger said we could have
all this cool stuff from the basement.

3
00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:10,509
Wait right there.

4
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,095
Oh, no, no. I'm paddling away.

5
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:15,931
Huh?

6
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:19,643
Wow. Really?
We got all this rusty crap for free?

7
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,856
Uh-huh.
This and a bunch of bubble wrap...

8
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,316
...and some of it is not even popped.

9
00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:30,070
[CHIRPING AND QUACKING]

10
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:35,909
Could we be more white trash?

11
00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:28,754
How desperate am I?

12
00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:32,257
Oh, good thing Chandler's not here.
He always wins at this game.

13
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,469
I just told my mom
I'd cater her party for her.

14
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:38,138
- How come?
- Because I need the money.

15
00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:42,810
And I thought it'd be a great way to get rid
of that last little smidgen of self-respect.

16
00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:44,937
Come on, I think this is a good thing.

17
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,688
I don't think Mom would've hired you...

18
00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:48,857
...if she didn't think you were good
at what you do.

19
00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:52,444
You don't have to stick up for her.
She can't hear you.

20
00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:57,032
Hey, um, do you guys have any juice?

21
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,575
Just pickle.

22
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,703
Hey, uh, Rach. Funny story.

23
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,789
I bumped into Joanna
on the street yesterday.

24
00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:07,543
My boss, Joanna?
Wow, that must have been awkward.

25
00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:10,420
Well, no. Actually, she asked me
if I wanted to get a drink.

26
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,214
[CHUCKLES]

27
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:15,134
You, uh, didn't say yes to that, did you?

28
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,554
Ha, ha. No. No.

29
00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,347
Hello, Rachel.

30
00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:26,103
Well, not at first.

31
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,273
What is she doing here?

32
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,316
[MIMICKING SOUND
OF SQUEAKING BED]

33
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,238
I don't understand.

34
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,574
Last time you went out with her,
you said she was a dud.

35
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:40,200
I think I judged her too quickly.

36
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:43,579
And this time, we were able
to take the relationship to the next level.

37
00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:45,914
[MIMICKING SOUND
OF SQUEAKING BED]

38
00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:51,378
Well, last time, I almost got fired.
You must end it. You must end it now.

39
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,922
It's not like this is an everyday occurrence
for me.

40
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,466
I mean, usually I'm pretty much
in there by myself.

41
00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:59,094
[MIMICKING SOUND
OF SQUEAKING BED]

42
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:02,973
RACHEL:
Chandler.

43
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:05,893
Promise me you will end it.

44
00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:09,897
- Okay. I promise I'll end it.
- Thank you.

45
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,899
But I hope you know
what I'm giving up for you.

46
00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,484
Because she's not just the boss
in your office.

47
00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:16,153
You know what I mean?

48
00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:17,779
Yeah.

49
00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:22,492
Oh, sorry. I knew what he meant.

50
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,875
How's the hired help?

51
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,502
Doing great. Quiches are coming along.

52
00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,796
What's this? Blue nail polish?

53
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,758
Yeah, I thought it was cute.

54
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:41,386
Ha. It's what your grandmother's hands
looked like when we found her.

55
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,516
Let me ask you a question.

56
00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:48,185
Why did you hire me?

57
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:51,396
Oh, well, Richard raved
about the food at his party...

58
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,315
...of course, you were sleeping with him.

59
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:56,860
Then I heard the food at that
lesbian wedding was very nice.

60
00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,947
I assume you weren't sleeping
with anyone there.

61
00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:02,491
Though,
at least that would be something.

62
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:07,037
Oh, my God. Did you hear that?

63
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,706
She hired me because
she thinks I'm good.

64
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,502
Okay, I didn't hear that.

65
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:17,256
Yeah. She didn't hire me out of pity.

66
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,675
It wasn't so she could pick on me
in front of her friends.

67
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:21,593
She actually thinks I'm good.

68
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:25,347
Wow. And hey, it's cool if you're a lesbian.
Ha, ha.

69
00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:36,817
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

70
00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:44,032
Good afternoon. Are you
the decision-maker of the house?

71
00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:45,951
Uh...

72
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:53,417
Do you, uh, currently own
a set of encyclopedias?

73
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:57,546
No, no, but, uh, try the classifieds.
People sell everything in there.

74
00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:00,674
Actually, I'm not buying. I'm selling.

75
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,718
Let me ask you one question.

76
00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,721
Do your friends ever have
a conversation...

77
00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:07,389
...and you just nod along...

78
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:10,434
...even though you're not really sure
what they're talking about?

79
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,233
I'm telling you,
it's totally unconstitutional.

80
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,652
- I hear you. Yeah it is.
- I totally agree.

81
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,448
I think he deserves a Nobel Prize.

82
00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:26,408
GROUP:
No.

83
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,246
It was like the Algonquin kids' table.

84
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,539
[ALL LAUGHING]

85
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,960
Excuse me. I'm sorry.

86
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:39,671
You haven't said anything
for about two and a half minutes.

87
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,090
Are you at all interested?

88
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:45,761
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, oh, yeah. Come on in.
Come on.

89
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,349
- That's weird.
- What?

90
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:51,641
Your nails.

91
00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:53,226
Oh, I know. I never wear fake ones.

92
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:56,188
I just did it so my mom wouldn't
give me grief about biting them.

93
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,566
No, I meant it's weird that
you only have nine now.

94
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,112
Oh, my God.

95
00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:06,615
Wait a minute.

96
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,575
I had them when I put...

97
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,494
Oh, my God. It's in the quiche.

98
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,830
- Oh, my God.
- Okay, don't panic.

99
00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:16,208
I'm gonna go to the store,
get you another set of nails.

100
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,252
No one is gonna know,
and you're gonna look great.

101
00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:24,466
Oh. Oh, it's because they're gonna eat...
That's the problem.

102
00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:27,928
Honey, don't bite your nails.

103
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,974
Okay, uh, please don't freak out.

104
00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:37,145
Um, but there's a blue fingernail
in one of the quiche cups.

105
00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:39,731
And there's no way to know which one.

106
00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:45,612
And whoever finds it wins the prize.

107
00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:48,323
Ha, ha. I'm not freaking out.

108
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:49,658
Why are you laughing?

109
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,202
It's nothing. It's just that now
your father owes me $5.

110
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,371
Ha, ha. What, you bet I'd lose a nail?

111
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:57,999
Oh, no, don't be silly.
I just bet that I'd need these.

112
00:06:58,167 --> 00:06:59,918
MONICA: Frozen lasagnas?
- Mm.

113
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:04,089
You bet that I'd screw up?

114
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,842
So all that stuff about hiring me
because I was good was...

115
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,552
No, that was all true.

116
00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:11,513
This was just in case you
pulled a Monica.

117
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:15,684
You promised Dr. Weinberg
you'd never use that phrase.

118
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,186
Honey, come on. Have a sense of humor.

119
00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:20,397
You're never able to laugh at yourself.

120
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,691
That's right. Ha, ha.

121
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:25,777
My mom doesn't have any faith in me.
Oh, that's hilarious.

122
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,988
[LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY]

123
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,656
I don't get it.

124
00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:32,826
No. I have faith.

125
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:35,120
No. You have lasagnas.

126
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,502
[OVEN BELL RINGS]

127
00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:44,171
Oh, the ruined quiches are ready.

128
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,849
It just doesn't feel
like we're breaking up.

129
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,769
No, we are. I'm sad.

130
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,564
Okay.

131
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,816
[PHONE RINGS]

132
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,902
Yes?

133
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:10,489
Uh, can you wait till tomorrow? All right.

134
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:11,823
[SIGHS]

135
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,700
Unbelievable.

136
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,785
Thanks.

137
00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:19,206
No, no. That was my boss. I have to go.

138
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:20,957
Okay.

139
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:22,584
What are you doing?

140
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,586
- I'm getting dressed.
- Why?

141
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:28,131
When I walk outside naked,
people throw garbage at me.

142
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,468
Wait. I want to show you something.

143
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:33,637
What is it?

144
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:36,264
Just a little gag gift somebody gave me.

145
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,099
Put your hands together.

146
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:39,684
[CHUCKLES]

147
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,978
You're not the boss of me.

148
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,815
Yeah, you are.

149
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:50,612
Hmm. Saucy.

150
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,827
I'll be back in two minutes.

151
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:01,331
You're, uh...?
You're going to leave me like this?

152
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:05,460
Knowing you're here waiting for me,
I think that's kind of exciting, don't you?

153
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,963
Okay, but if you don't come back soon...

154
00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:09,130
[DOOR CLOSES]

155
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:12,008
...there's pretty much nothing
I can do about it.

156
00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:17,472
- Oh.
- Hi. I brought you back a macaroon.

157
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,475
Oh, great. I'll keep it in my butt
with your nose.

158
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:29,651
That's weird. She locked the door.

159
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:33,029
You know why?
She's got the Christmas bonus list in there.

160
00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:34,906
I saw her working on it this morning.

161
00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:37,993
Okay, swear you won't tell.

162
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,620
But when Mark left,
he gave me a key to Joanna's office.

163
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,582
- You want to see the list?
SOPHIE: Yeah.

164
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,375
[RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]

165
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:47,919
[RACHEL & SOPHIE GASP]

166
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,135
Hi.

167
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,263
How are you?

168
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,399
[PHONE RINGING]

169
00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:23,163
Hello, Joanna...

170
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,376
- 's office.

171
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:32,213
JOANNA [OVER PHONE]:
I'm sorry. I may be a little longer.

172
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:35,008
- How little?
- A couple hours. I feel awful.

173
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:37,510
Look, this isn't funny.
You get back here now.

174
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:38,970
- I can't.
- Why not?

175
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,930
I'm in my boss' car.

176
00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:43,016
- What?
- Uh-oh, tunnel.

177
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:44,934
[STATIC HISSING]

178
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:58,865
[INTERCOM BUZZES]

179
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:01,660
What?

180
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,663
CHANDLER [OVER INTERCOM]:
Rachel, could I see you for a moment?

181
00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:14,422
Okay, here's the situation. Ahem.

182
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,966
The keys to the cuffs
are on the back of the door.

183
00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:18,551
Could you be a doll...

184
00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:22,055
...and grab them and scoot on over here
and unlock me?

185
00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:26,893
And on a totally separate subject,
that is a lovely pantsuit.

186
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:32,315
You promised you would
break up with her.

187
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:36,653
I did break up with her.
She just took it really, really well.

188
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:42,450
And the fact that you were jeopardizing
my career never entered your mind?

189
00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:44,035
It did enter my mind.

190
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:48,206
But then something happened
that made it shoot right out.

191
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:50,875
You know what, Chandler?

192
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:54,129
You got yourself into those cuffs,
you get yourself out them.

193
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:57,882
No, no, no.
I can't get myself right out of them.

194
00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:01,136
You must have me confused
with the Amazing Chandler.

195
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:03,722
Come on, you have to unlock me.

196
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,433
She could be gone for hours,
and I'm cold and...

197
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,813
Ugh! Chandler. All right. This is it.

198
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,481
You never see Joanna again.

199
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:14,899
Never.

200
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:18,236
- You never come into this office again.
- Fine.

201
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:21,156
- You give me back my Walkman.
- I...

202
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,075
I never borrowed your Walkman.

203
00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:26,911
Well, then I lost it. You buy me one.

204
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:30,790
You got it. Here we go.
Come on. This is great.

205
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:34,544
- Aw.
- Does it hurt?

206
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:38,965
No, I just always see guys doing this
when they get handcuffs taken off.

207
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,511
Hello, sweet pants.

208
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,681
Wait a minute.
What are you gonna tell Joanna?

209
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,683
About what?

210
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:52,854
When she sees that you're gone, she's gonna
know I let you out and I'm gonna get fired.

211
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,190
I'll make something up.
I'm good at lying.

212
00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:57,150
I actually did borrow your Walkman.

213
00:12:57,735 --> 00:13:00,737
No, there's nothing to make up.
She's gonna know I have a key to her office.

214
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,947
I've gotta get you locked
back the way you were.

215
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:05,658
Oh, I don't think so.

216
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:08,787
[CHANDLER & RACHEL GRUNTING]

217
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,338
Well, this is much better.

218
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,802
So here's somebody interesting, Joey.

219
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,387
What do you know about Van Gogh?

220
00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:29,140
- Uh, he cut off his ear.
- And?

221
00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:31,184
I'm out.

222
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,394
He painted that.

223
00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:36,523
Wow. That's pretty nice.

224
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:39,567
I thought he cut off his ear
because he sucked.

225
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:42,695
- What else you got in there?
- Let's see, uh...

226
00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:45,490
- Where does the Pope live?
- In the woods.

227
00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:49,828
Wait, wait, that's the joke answer.

228
00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,831
Actually, it's Vatican City.

229
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:56,668
Now, uh, what do you know about,
uh, vulcanized rubber?

230
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,753
Spock's birth control.

231
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,755
[BOTH LAUGHING]

232
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,007
You need these books.

233
00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,053
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

234
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,139
- Hey.
- Hi.

235
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,725
This used to be your room?

236
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:16,229
Wow. Oh, you must have been in
really good shape as a kid.

237
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:21,359
Oh, I'm such an idiot.

238
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,529
I can't believe I actually thought
she could change.

239
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,448
Look, who cares what your mom thinks?

240
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,742
So you pulled a Monica.

241
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,037
Oh, good. I'm glad that's catching on.

242
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:36,791
Why does that have to be a bad thing?
Just change what it means.

243
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,544
You know, go down there
and prove your mother wrong.

244
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:43,381
You finish the job you were hired to do
and we'll call that "pulling a Monica."

245
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,049
What?

246
00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:49,178
Okay, um, if a kid gets straight A's,
his parents would say:

247
00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:50,889
"Yeah, you pulled a Monica." Ha, ha.

248
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:56,269
Oh, or a fireman saves a baby, and they go,
"Yeah, no, he pulled a Monica."

249
00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:00,648
Or someone hits a home run,
and the announcer says:

250
00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:02,358
"Yeah, that one's out of here."

251
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,527
Because some things don't change.

252
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:08,573
All right. I'll go down there.

253
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:12,076
But I'm not gonna serve the lasagna.
I'm gonna serve something that I make.

254
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:13,870
Wait.

255
00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:18,041
Ooh.

256
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,627
Oh! Wow.

257
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:23,630
Wow, my breasts are really strong.

258
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,176
[BOTH GRUNTING]

259
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,595
RACHEL:
Chandler.

260
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,640
Chandler, please. I have to get you
locked up back the way you were.

261
00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:35,600
I'm so going to lose my job.

262
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:38,853
She's very private about her office.

263
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,897
Now I know why.

264
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:43,107
Hey, look.
You're in trouble either way, okay?

265
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,777
If she comes and sees me
locked to this instead of the chair...

266
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:49,489
...she's gonna know you were in here.
So you might as well just let me go.

267
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:55,370
- I'll clean your bathroom for a month.
- Still wouldn't be clean.

268
00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:58,873
All I want is my freedom.

269
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,960
- Foot rubs for a month.
- Freedom.

270
00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:04,337
I'll take all your photos
and put them into albums.

271
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,005
Freedom. I want my freedom.

272
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,466
Why won't you hear me?
Sophie, help me.

273
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,885
- Help me.
- Sophie, sit.

274
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:12,637
[MUMBLING]

275
00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:14,847
God, would you just calm down?

276
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:24,983
I'm going to say this for the last time.

277
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,819
Would you please just...?

278
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,409
Wow, there's a lot I didn't know
about vomit.

279
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,078
[DUCK QUACKS]

280
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,747
In a minute.

281
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:42,917
So, what do you say, Joey?

282
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:46,879
You get the whole set
of encyclopedias for $1200.

283
00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:49,841
That works out to just 50 bucks a book.

284
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,884
Twelve hundred dollars?

285
00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:53,511
[CHUCKLES]

286
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,264
You think I have $1200?

287
00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:58,182
I'm home in the middle of the day...

288
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:01,310
...and I got patio furniture
in my living room.

289
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,898
I guess there's a few things
you don't get from book learning.

290
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,192
Well, uh, what can you swing?

291
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:13,031
How about zero down and zero a month
for a long, long time?

292
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,367
You don't have anything?

293
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:19,162
You want to see what I got? Okay.

294
00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:22,582
I got a baby Tootsie Roll...

295
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:25,918
...a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex...

296
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,881
...a rock...

297
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,050
...and an army man.

298
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:36,304
Okay, I get the picture.
Uh, thanks for your time.

299
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,890
And a fifty.

300
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,517
Huh. These must be Chandler's pants.

301
00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:44,228
For 50 bucks you can get one book.

302
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:47,356
What will it be? A? B? C?

303
00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:49,150
I think I'm gonna stick with the V.

304
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:52,320
I want to see how this bad boy turns out.
Heh.

305
00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:59,160
I, uh, will buy and wrap
all of your Christmas gifts.

306
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,079
- No.
- Oh.

307
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:04,707
I, uh... Oh, I'll squeeze you
fresh orange juice every morning.

308
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,417
- With extra pulp?
- Yeah.

309
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,044
No.

310
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,299
I've got it.

311
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,635
You don't have it.

312
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:18,179
I have so got it.

313
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:21,432
There's gonna be rumors about this.
There's no way to stop it.

314
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,518
Sophie knows,
Monica and Phoebe know.

315
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:25,728
- How do Monica and Phoebe know?
- Oh, I called them.

316
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,607
When they ask me what I saw...

317
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,777
...I can be very generous...

318
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:36,614
...or very stingy.

319
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:42,870
- Go on.
- I can make you a legend.

320
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:46,999
I can make you this generation's
Milton Berle.

321
00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:51,379
- And Milton Berle has...
- Oh. Not compared to you.

322
00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:57,802
- Well?
- They're not even touching the lasagna.

323
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,012
- Really?
- Oh, they love your casserole.

324
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,305
Yes.

325
00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:05,393
It's hard to believe, just a little while ago,
this was nothing but ingredients.

326
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:10,106
Everyone seems to like your dish.

327
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,858
And you?

328
00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:13,943
I thought it was...

329
00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,445
...quite tasty.

330
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:20,741
So if everyone liked it, and you liked it...

331
00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:24,203
...that would make this a success.
Which would make you...

332
00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:25,913
A bitch?

333
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,834
Well, I was going for "wrong,"
but we can use your word.

334
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,921
Yes, well, I was wrong.

335
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:36,257
And I have to say...

336
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:39,051
...you really impressed me today.

337
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,096
Wow.

338
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:45,266
Um, you might even say
that she pulled a Monica.

339
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:50,271
She doesn't know we switched it.

340
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:54,984
And the next time you cater for me...

341
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,404
...there will be nothing but ice
in the freezer.

342
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,948
Well, that really means a lot.

343
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:03,201
Oh, Mom, don't bite your nails.

344
00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:12,043
- Hello.
GROUP: Hey.

345
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:14,545
Hello, Chandler.

346
00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:17,715
I love you.

347
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:19,967
Hey, what's going on?

348
00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:21,385
Oh.

349
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,803
[PHOEBE WHISPERING]

350
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,599
No, he doesn't.

351
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:28,017
[LAUGHING]

352
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:30,728
Two hours, that lasted.

353
00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:34,232
So did you break up with Joanna?

354
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:35,733
I think so.

355
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:39,904
Well, it's a good thing you got out when
you did, before she blew up like Vesuvius.

356
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,406
- The volcano?
JOEY: Yeah.

357
00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:47,703
And speaking of volcanoes, man,
are they a violent, igneous-rock formation.

358
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:49,747
What?

359
00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:52,708
Oh, yeah. Lava spewing, hot ash.

360
00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:54,710
Of course, some are dormant.

361
00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:57,922
Why are you talking about volcanoes
all of a sudden?

362
00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,548
Oh, we can talk about something else.

363
00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:01,842
What do you want to talk about?
Vivisection?

364
00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:05,388
The vas deferens?

365
00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:07,765
The Vietnam War?

366
00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:11,310
Oh, did anybody see that documentary
on the Korean War?

367
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:13,437
GROUP:
Oh, yeah.

368
00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:15,314
Oh, God,
Korea's such a beautiful country.

369
00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:18,693
- With such a sad history.
PHOEBE: Yeah.

370
00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:20,361
Could there be more Kims?

371
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:21,696
[ALL LAUGHING]

372
00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:32,248
JOANNA: Who's out there?
- It's me. Good morning.

373
00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:34,375
JOANNA:
Rachel, could you come in here a moment?

374
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:37,545
Yeah, sure. Um, they didn't have
poppy-seed bagels...

375
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:40,089
...so I have sesame ones... Oh, my word.

376
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,383
I...

377
00:21:42,884 --> 00:21:45,094
I seem to have had
a slight office mishap.

378
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,848
Could you get the key
off the back of the door?

379
00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:51,642
Yeah, sure. I...

380
00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:55,563
[RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]

381
00:21:56,189 --> 00:21:57,732
I'm so sorry.

382
00:21:57,899 --> 00:22:00,693
Tell your friend Chandler
that we're definitely broken up this time.

383
00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:02,153
Okay.

384
00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:11,245
[English - US - SDH]