(fanfare playing)
(music ends)
(instrumental music playing)
♪ ♪
(speaking German)
(faint radio chatter)
(hissing)
(speaking German)
Honey, I'm home.
Roger that.
Copy at the boat house.
Right on time.
Faisil, get your butt in here.
Harry's inside.
Yeah, yeah. I'm coming. I'm coming.
Hey, were you born in a barn?
Poor house.
Uh-huh.
All right.
You got your fur coat razor blade there
and a bunch of guys with guns.
Hmm.
I'm switching to subvocal now.
Check, check.
HARRY (on radio): Check. Check. It's talk radio.
You're on the air. Check.
All right, that guard nearest to you is moving away.
He's at the service door.
He's inside.
(speaking French)
("The Blue Danube" playing)
(indistinct)
(speaking in foreign language)
All right, have you seen Khaled yet?
Yep. There he is.
How come billionaires are always short?
Jamal...
Excuse me.
Colonel, how are you?
It's so good to see you again.
Yes, it's been a long time.
Terrific.
Who was that guy?
Could you hold this for a second? Thanks.
ALBERT: Okay, you should be crossing the main foyer
heading for the stairs.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, keep moving. Keep moving.
I'm in the library, and I'm heading out
to the second floor balcony.
(speaking German)
(growling)
(computer beeping)
Modem in place.
Transmitting now.
Affirmatory.
It's a good hookup.
These are encrypted files, guys.
It's going to take me just a few minutes.
(speaking Arabic)
Uh-huh. I got your password.
(door creaks)
(speaking Arabic)
Magnificent, isn't it?
Yes, quite.
I thought I knew most of Khaled's friends,
but I don't believe I've met you before.
HARRY (over radio): No, we haven't met
because I certainly would remember.
Renquist, Harry Renquist.
Juno Skinner.
Come on. Come on.
Juno Skinner, arts and antiquities dealer,
specializing in ancient Persia.
(low whistle)
This is Persian, if I'm not mistaken.
Very good.
Sixth century B.C., to be exact. Hmm.
Do you like the period?
Oh, I adore it.
Alarm! Alarm!
(speaking German)
Harry, we got a problem.
Guards are going ape-shit down there.
JUNO: Acquired most of these pieces for Jamal.
Do you tango?
Mmm. Oh!
Tango?
ALBERT: Harry? Harry?
You do not have time to tango, buddy.
You copy?
("Por una Cabeza" playing)
(speaking Arabic)
(gasps)
All right, Harry, don't be stopping to smell the roses now.
You hear me? You got to get out of there.
Yes! Files are unlocked!
Fast Faisil strikes again.
I'm in. I'm down, baby.
I got my hand up her dress, and I am going...
Just copy the goddamn files, okay.
Ahhh! (laughing)
Wow. And I thought this was just gonna be
another bunch of boring bankers
and oil billionaires.
Harry, seconds count, buddy.
Ditch the bitch.
Unfortunately, I have to leave.
I have a plane to catch.
Oh.
Well...
call me sometime.
My offices are in Rome.
I would like that.
Son of a bitch is with her two minutes,
and she's ready to bear his children.
All right, twinkle toes, what's your exit strategy?
I'm gonna walk right out of the front gate.
ALBERT: Ballsy.
Stupid but ballsy.
(speaking German)
Sir?
May I see your invitation, please?
Sure. Here's my invitation.
(beep)
(grunts)
Aw, shit. Here we go.
Slight change in plans.
GUARD: Halt!
(yelling in German)
Go!
(tires screeching)
(shouting in German)
(barking)
(yelping)
Stay.
(whimpering)
FAISIL: We're en route to the roller rendezvous point.
I repeat... backup rendezvous point.
Watch it! Watch it!
It's called ice,
and it gets a little slick.
(grunts)
(soldier shouting in German)
FAISIL: Harry, do you copy? Whoa!
I got it.
Shit!
Whoops!
(screams)
FAISIL: Oh, my God.
Whoa! I got it. I got it. I got it.
There he is! Shit!
(tires screeching)
Hi, guys.
Oh, yeah, that worked good.
Right out the old front gate. (laughing)
Can you lean back a second?
Let's go.
We can still make our flight.
(tires screech)
All right, that's it for Mr. Renquist.
Okay, go.
All right, we got Harry Tasker billfold,
Harry Tasker passport,
ticket stub,
hotel bill, Tasker.
I got two postcards here from Geneva.
Got some house keys right there,
and I've got a souvenir Swiss snowing village.
What's that for? It's for Dana, stupe.
You know, bring your kid home a gift.
You know, the dad thing.
Nice touch. Yeah.
All right, pick me up tomorrow at 8:00.
Will do.
The debriefing is at ten-hundred.
Mm-hmm.
See you at 8:00. Okay.
Bye. Hey, Harry.
Did you forget something?
What a team.
All right. Sleep fast, buddy.
(sighs)
(snoring softly)
Hi, honey.
How was your flight?
Oh, it was fine.
Good.
Brought you a little gift from Switzerland.
Snowy village.
Wow. Thanks, Dad.
I've never had one of these.
You're welcome.
You're late for school. You better get going.
Don't forget to feed Gizmo.
Okay.
It's pretty lame.
I'm late. Yeah, me, too.
How'd it go at the convention?
Did you make all the other salesmen jealous?
Oh, it was fantastic. You wouldn't believe it.
You should have been there.
We were the big hit of the show.
We did new model ordering system...
the 680 I told you about.
I can write up an order
and immediately as soon as the customer's name comes up,
you see what his credit line is,
what he's ordered in the past,
what discount he has gotten, every little detail.
Terrific.
It's fantastic. I love the computer business.
Listen, the, uh, plumber called.
He says he has to dig under the slab or something.
It's going to cost $600.
Hmm, that's okay.
Well, it's not okay. It's extortion.
So what did you tell him?
I slept with him, and he said he'd knock off $100.
That's good thinking. Bye, honey.
Hello.
Dana! (honks horn)
(rock music playing over earphones)
(music plays louder)
Boy, I remember the first time
I got shot out of a cannon.
Good morning. Go to school.
Thanks, dear.
Check these out.
Check 'em out.
HARRY: Where's the image coming from?
Got a CCD camera in a transmitter
in a pack of smokes out there.
It's pretty cool, huh?
HARRY: Mm-hmm.
What the hell.
Bye, Dad! What's she...
Dana! She's ripping you off. Dana!
I knew it.
Dana!
(motorcycle engine roars)
Dana!
Go!
Can't stop. I'm late. Bye, Dad!
(groans)
Shit.
ALBERT: Kids... ten seconds of joy,
30 years of misery.
I got married three times,
but at least I was never dumb enough to have any.
You know, she shouldn't be stealing.
I taught her better than that.
Yeah, but you're not her parents anymore, you and Helen.
Her parents are Axl Rose and Madonna.
The five minutes a day you spend with her
can't compete with that kind of constant bombardment.
You're outgunned, daddy-O.
(elevator bell dings)
You know, it's not just because you're a bad parent.
I mean, kids today are ten years ahead
of where we were at the same age.
- HARRY: Good morning. - Good morning, Mr. Tasker.
Do you think she's still a virgin?
Don't be ridiculous. She's only... What is she now?
She's 14, Harry. She's only 14 years old.
Her hormones are going off like fire alarms.
I'd say it's even money she lets that physicist on the bike boink her.
Oh, not Dana. Oh, not Dana.
Denial... it's not just a river in Egypt no more, is it, Harry?
She's probably stealing the money to pay for an abortion.
Why don't you open the door?
Or drugs.
Twenty here, 50 there.
I figured my wife's scumbag boyfriend was taking it.
Hell, he takes everything else.
Never a beer in the goddamn fridge.
HARRY: Thought you moved out.
ALBERT: Well, I had to move back in.
My lawyer said it'd give me a better shot
at getting the house during the property settlement
and so forth, but, uh, don't change the subject, man.
You still owe me 200 bucks.
HARRY: Good morning, Janice.
(clicks)
Good morning.
Gentlemen, please identify yourselves to the scanner.
Harry Tasker, 10024.
Albert Gibson, 34991. (beeping)
(dings)
(tapping pencil)
All right, Frances,
I don't believe we need you any longer now.
Thank you.
Sweet Jesus, Harry.
You surely screwed the pooch last night, didn't you?
Could you please tell me how I can see this
as anything but a total disaster?
Well, total is a strong word.
Yeah. There are different degrees of totality.
It's a scale, really, with a perfect mission on one end
and then a total pooch-screw on the other.
And, you know, we're more right in...
Faisil,
you're new on Harry's team, aren't you?
Yes.
So, what makes you think the slack I cut him
in any way translates to you?
L-Let me show you what we got.
Jamal Khaled.
We think he's dirty,
so we raid his private financial files.
$100 million in wire transfers
from the Commerce Bank International.
ALBERT: Which we all know is a front
for certain countries to finance terrorist activities.
And that's why we think something really big is going down.
And we know that a week ago, four MIRV warheads were smuggled
out of the former Soviet republic of Kazakhstan.
We think Khaled's group bought the nukes
and is trying to bring them over to US soil.
So far, this is not blowing my skirt up, gentlemen.
Don't you have anything remotely substantial?
Harry,
do you have any hard data?
Nothing that you would call rock-hard.
Actually, it's pretty limp, sir.
Then perhaps you'd better get some
before somebody parks an automobile
in front of the White House with a nuclear weapon
in the trunk.
I mean, it's not like he's saving the world or anything.
I mean, he's a sales rep for Christ's sake.
Whenever I can't sleep,
I just ask him to tell me about his day.
Six seconds and I'm out.
He acts like he's curing cancer or something.
Mmm.
So I guess this means you didn't get away
for the weekend after all?
No. Harry had to go out of town.
I'm shocked.
Yeah. Well, you know Harry.
What's up?
Here. Check this out.
There's a $2 million disbursement
from Khaled to Juno Skinner.
That's right, the babe at the party.
Well, that doesn't mean anything.
She buys antiquities for Khaled.
Oh, no, no. See, he keeps his antique buys
on a completely separate ledger.
And this is a little above market rate
for the horizontal bop,
even for a total biscuit like her.
All right, I want a complete workup on her.
Do we know where she is?
Right here in River City.
You're kidding. She lives in Rome,
but she does stuff at the Smithsonian.
She has a lot of diplomatic connections,
so she has offices here.
So I guess it's time to send in a specialist.
Care to tango?
Yes, I would.
Assholes.
ALBERT: Okay, it's all set up.
I got fax machine, ghost phones,
all the usual stuff.
You have a suite at The Marquis Hotel
under the name of Renquist.
All right, reality check. Let's go.
Hi, my name is Harry Renquist.
I own a corporate art consulting company
in San Francisco
and have an appointment with Miss Skinner.
Harry.
Oh, hello.
Hello.
I thought I'd see you again.
I just didn't know it would be so soon.
What's the point of waiting?
I agree.
So you said your clients are looking
for something for the lobby
of their new corporate headquarters?
Yes. They would like to see something very dramatic.
That's a nice piece.
And I talked to a number of people,
and they all said you're the one to see.
Really? Mm-hmm.
Checking on me.
So what did these people say about me, exactly?
Well, they say that you can read ancient Sanskrit
without having to sound out the words.
And other art dealers and archaeologists
don't really like you very much.
(laughing) Oh!
(speaking Arabic)
Those wimps.
It's because I use my diplomatic contacts
to export cultural treasures
from countries which tell them to take a hike.
(yelling in Arabic)
See, most of our pieces come from ancient Persia.
Unfortunately, ancient Persia sits 20 feet under the sand
of Iran, Iraq, and Syria,
not the most popular places lately.
So I've had to become an expert
in international diplomacy.
Well, Mr. Renquist...
do you see anything you like?
(chuckles) Maybe.
ALBERT: Give me a break, Fais.
I don't think they'd bug my tuna sandwich.
She's importing stuff from all over the Mideast.
She could be moving money, guns, anything.
The second you left there, we started getting calls
from ghost numbers,
They were checking out the Renquist front.
Right. Step up the surveillance
an put on two more guys.
Maurizio, I said Saturday...
Not Tuesday, Saturday.
Va bene. Ciao.
Miss Skinner, may I have a word with you please?
(speaking Arabic)
Stupid, undisciplined bitch!
It's a good thing you're paying me a lot of money.
Do you realize there are surveillance teams
watching this place right now?
Your telephones are almost certainly tapped.
And you were busy laughing and flirting
like a whore with this Renquist...
He checked out okay... (grunts)
We do not tolerate mistakes.
What would you like me to do?
Find out where this Renquist is.
(ringing)
Hello. Techtel Systems. Mr. Tasker's office.
Hi, Charlene? Hi. It's Helen. Is he in?
Harry's in a sales meeting, Mrs. Tasker.
Let me try him in there. Hold please.
Relay 10024.
(beeping)
ALBERT: It's a patch from Techtel.
It's Helen.
Hello, honey.
How are you? What's going on?
Hi, I'm sorry to bother you in the middle of the day.
It's just that Dana and I want to make sure
that you're going to be home by 8:00.
'Cause we're going to a lot of trouble
for your big birthday,
and we just wanted to make sure that you
will be home, so... Absolutely!
This time, you can count on me.
HELEN: Promise? Trust me.
Great. HARRY: Gotta go. Bye.
Bye. That's disgusting, Dana.
Calm down.
We've got a friend.
Three cars back on the inside lane.
They've been on us since we left the hotel.
HARRY: In the station wagon?
ALBERT: Uh-huh. Want me to lose them?
No. We need this lead.
Unit 7?
Seven here.
We need you at the Georgetown Mall
in three minutes. FAISIL: Copy that. We're rolling.
Helen's going to be pissed.
Well, you see, this is the problem with terrorists.
They're really inconsiderate
when it comes to people's schedules.
(speaking Arabic)
Pull over here. This is good.
Okay, testing. One, two, three...
I got you. I got you. I got you.
Okay, they're right with us.
I make three of them in the car.
(coughing)
Dickhead.
Blow me.
Hey, Harry, I got a couple of them getting out of the car and coming after you.
What do you think, I'm blind?
ALBERT (over radio): Well, you do look like Ray Charles.
So what's the plan?
Just trying to get a closer look at Beavis and Butt-Head.
Hey, there's a third one still in the car.
HARRY (over radio): Okay, stay on him.
Hi, Helen.
Yeah, it's Gib.
Oh, not much.
Listen, Harry forgot something back at the office,
and, uh, you know Harry, and, uh...
Yeah, Gib, I know Harry.
Bye. Bye. See you soon.
See?
(unzips)
(magazine clicks)
(speaking Arabic)
(Harry whistling)
Harry...
Harry, I lost the third guy.
(door opens)
(continues whistling)
(grunting)
Aah!
Shit!
(horn honks) Hold it!
Oh, shit!
Hey!
(speaking Arabic)
(clang)
Here. Cool off.
(breathing heavily)
Move! Move!
Sorry about this.
Look out! Get out of the way!
(people screaming)
Hey! Freeze!
Oh, thank God.
(horn honking)
(tires screeching)
(grunts)
Get to the car!
Yep.
Here we go.
(honking) (tires screeching)
Federal officer in pursuit of suspect.
Sorry.
Hey!
(honking)
Hey, Harry, what's your 20? Harry?
Westbound through the park.
Suspect is on a motorcycle. He's coming out on Franklin.
- Copy that. - Okay, I want you on 14th
in case he turns south.
And I want Seven on the north side
to box him in.
Okay, and make it quick
because my horse is getting tired.
Your horse?
Hyah!
There he is. That's him!
Come on!
(people screaming)
Go around to the back.
ALBERT: Copy that.
Move!
Out of my way!
Sorry.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
(smooth jazz)
(woman screaming) MAN: Jesus!
Sorry.
Out of my way!
(trays clattering)
Excuse me. Whoa!
Excuse me.
Out of the way!
(tires screeching)
Move! Move! Move!
ALBERT: Federal officer! Get down! Now!
Get down or die!
(gunshot)
ALBERT: Down! Down!
Aah!
Hold still!
Come on! Hyah!
Whoa!
Hold still!
Hyah!
(elevator bell dings, door opens)
Would you press the button for the top floor, please?
O-Okay.
Thank you.
No!
Shut up!
Whoa...
Say something.
That's a f-fine animal.
Eww!
Flat against the car!
Okay, come on.
I'm so sorry.
(whimpering) Ooh!
Stay there! (bell dings)
Don't move!
(engine revving)
(elevator bell dings)
Hyah!
Come on. Come on, fella.
(screaming)
Whoa!
Hyah!
Whoa!
Hyah!
(neighs)
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Aah!
(horn honking in distance)
Okay...
back up.
Back up.
(clicking tongue)
Come on. You can do it.
(clicking tongue) Come on.
Good horse. Good.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Go back now.
Come on. Yeah. That's teamwork now.
Now, keep pulling. Come on.
(grunts)
Now a little bit more.
(straining)
Attaboy.
Okay.
Now, what the hell were you thinking?
I mean, I had the guy,
and you let him get away.
Look at me when I talk to you.
What kind of a cop are you anyway?
(keys jingling)
Hi, honey.
I know you're upset.
I'm sorry.
But I hurried home as fast as I could.
It's okay.
Ow...
It's okay.
I'm sorry.
Thank you for the party.
(chuckles) Yeah. It was great.
Huh?
Hey.
That's him.
ALBERT: Okay, pause it right there.
Salim Abu Aziz.
This guy's really hardcore.
Highly fanatical. The man's a real psycho.
He's been linked to dozens and dozens of car bombings.
Hey, you know that cafe bomb in Rome last year?
That was his.
As well as the 727 out of Lisbon.
This guy's a major player.
Now he's formed his own splinter faction
called Crimson Jihad.
Yeah, I guess he thought the other terrorist groups
were a little too warm and fuzzy for his taste.
They call him the Sand Spider.
Why?
Probably because it sounds scary.
Hmm. Well, this is impressive, gentlemen.
Of course, it would be even more impressive
if you actually knew where he was.
We'll get him.
HARRY: Why don't you just pull over right here.
ALBERT: What's up?
Oh, I really screwed up with Helen last night.
I'm just going to run in and see if she's available for lunch
to smooth things over a little bit.
So, Harry, you want me to hang?
Yeah. Just hang.
Okay, buddy, I'll just... be hanging.
WOMAN: Hold please.
Helen...
it's your mystery man on two.
Simon?
Oh, my God!
Hello? Simon?
Yes, I can talk.
You mean right now?
Yes... I can meet you.
Okay. I can't wait.
Bye.
Can you cover me for an hour?
Just an hour?
You tell that stud to take more time!
HELEN (whispering): Would you shut up?
I should have never told you about him.
(woman giggling) Have a good time!
Get a little bit for me while you're at it!
HELEN: Sshh! Sshh!
(tires screeching) (honking)
Hey, hold it!
Fucker.
What's going on, man? You sick or something?
Looks like you got gut-kicked.
It's Helen... It's Helen.
Helen.
It has something to do with Helen, I'm guessing.
Helen...
Helen.
Helen...
is having an affair.
Welcome to the club, man. (laughing)
Nobody thinks it can happen to them the first time, buddy.
Same exact thing happened to me
with wife number two. Remember?
I had no idea nothing's going on, right?
I come home one day, and the house is completely empty.
And I mean completely empty.
She even took the ice cube trays out of the freezer.
What kind of a sick bitch
takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?
But Helen...
Hey, Harry.
Hey, listen, Helen still loves you.
She just wants to bang this guy a while, you know.
It's nothing serious. You'll get used to this...
Stop cheering me up!
What'd you expect, Harry?
Helen's a flesh-and-blood woman, and you're never there.
It was just a matter of time.
You know what?
I say we concentrate on work, buddy.
That's what I do
every time my life turns to dogshit.
I concentrate on work, and that gets me by.
Right, buddy?
This is gonna be great. You know what?
We're gonna catch some terrorists,
we're gonna beat the crap out of them,
you're gonna feel a hell of a lot better.
All right, watch your head now. Watch your head.
Okay. All right.
Women... can't live with them... (car starts)
...can't kill 'em.
(thunder rumbling)
Came by your office today.
I was in the area, and I thought
that you might want to have lunch.
Real-Really?
Well, you must've just missed me.
Yeah, that's what they said.
They said you had to run out or something like that.
Oh, it was this rush job...
They needed these documents
down at the district courthouse.
So of course, the big problem?
Our printer shut down.
So I went to the third floor to use theirs,
but they have the 1720,
and of course the disk isn't formatted for the 1720.
So I have to go back upstairs and reformat,
go back downstairs and use their printer,
and by the time I got there, I couldn't get my car to start.
And then traffic... I barely got there.
That's a little excitement in an otherwise dull day.
Did it work out okay?
Yeah. Great.
I'll check on dessert.
I'm done.
You know, the great thing is that,
he's practically given us a blank check on wiretap.
So I've set them up on all of Juno's shipping agents and her clients.
And Faisil's made a list of all the possible contacts
Crimson Jihad may have in this country.
So now, all we got to do is sit around...
Hey, this national security stuff boring you?
Put a tap on her phone.
What are you talking about? I already did that.
I'm talking about Helen's.
Put a tap on her office line and the line to my house.
Do it now. Okay. All right.
Just come over here for a second. It sounds great.
I just wanted to ask you about something.
Listen, I got two words to describe that idea...
In-sane. An unauthorized wiretap is a felony, pard. You know...
And we're doing it 20 times a day.
So don't give me that crap.
Do it.
(whirring)
HELEN: Hello?
MAN: Helen, it's Simon.
Is it safe to talk?
HELEN: Yes. Go ahead.
SIMON: Listen, I can't talk long.
Can you meet me for lunch tomorrow?
I must see you.
I suppose so. Where?
Same place. One o'clock.
I have to go now.
See you tomorrow.
Remember, I need you.
(thunder crashing)
I thought that we might have lunch together tomorrow.
Um... you know,
darn it, I'm... I'm gonna meet Allison.
We're gonna go shopping.
Sorry.
No problem.
(yelps)
You know what? I think you're going
about this whole thing all wrong.
See, women, they like you to talk to them, you know?
And maybe it's just that you're not in touch with your feminine side.
I was watching Sally Jessy Raphael...
All right.
Okay, I got all the usual stuff here.
I got a telemetry-burst transmitter,
I've got a GPS tracker,
I got an audio transmitter, a power supply,
And I've got it sewn into the lining here, and, um...
Now... Hey, Harry?
If you need to talk... speak into the purse.
Okay, here she comes.
She's gonna pop out right in front of us.
Watch this. Bingo! Yep.
ALBERT: Looks like she's going into Chinatown.
Okay, she's parking.
Okay, give me audio.
You sure you weren't followed?
No. I mean, I kept looking behind me
like you taught me,
but I didn't see anyone.
Okay. It's just that things are a bit hot right now.
If I get a signal, I may have to leave suddenly.
I understand.
(door bangs)
Look, it's my job to take risks,
but not yours.
I feel bad about bringing you into all this,
but you're the only one I can trust.
Were you out on a mission? Shh.
We say "op."
covert operation... Oh.
...and this one, well,
got a little rough.
Worse than Cairo?
Cairo.
Cairo was a day at the beach next to this.
The guy's a spook.
But for whom?
He could be working her to get to you.
Did you read the papers yesterday?
Yes.
Sometimes the story's a mask for covert operation.
See two men killed in a restaurant
and two unidentified men in a running shoot-out
ending at the Marriott?
That was you?
You see? You're very good. Me.
You recognize my style.
You're a natural at this.
The guy's a fake, man.
He's taking credit for our moves.
What happened?
Hardly worth talking about.
Two of them won't bother me again.
Unbelievable!
HELEN: You chased one?
Something came over me.
I just had to nail this guy
no matter what the risk.
Pretty hairy. I thought he had me a couple times,
but I really can't take credit.
Why not?
It's the training.
It shapes you into a lethal instrument.
You react in a microsecond without thinking.
I'm starting to like this guy.
Oh, we've still got to kill him. I mean, that's a given.
You know?
("More Than A Woman" playing on car stereo)
♪ More than a woman to me ♪
♪ More than a woman ♪
♪ More than a woman to me ♪
♪ More than a wo... ♪
The guy is a goddamn used car salesman.
I mean, this keeps getting better and better!
I'm sorry, Harry. I know this has got to be painful.
But you got to admit it's pretty damn funny.
I mean, if this was just on me and not you,
you'd be laughing your ass off.
One born every minute.
It wants you, too.
Feel it vibrate?
Say, how about a little spin?
Sure.
See, it's not just a car.
It's a total image. An identity.
You have to go for it.
This isn't some high-tech sports car.
Tell you the truth, it doesn't even handle that great.
But that's not the idea, is it?
What are we talking about here?
Pussy, right?
(fake laughter)
Absolutely.
Let's face it, Harry. The 'Vette gets 'em wet.
But it's not enough.
If you really want to close escrow,
well, you gotta have an angle.
I suppose you have an angle.
(laughs) It's killer.
I mean, look at me.
I'm not that much to look at.
No, no, no. I can be honest.
But I got 'em lining up.
And not just the skanks, either.
Well, some are.
So, what's your angle?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, no.
Sorry. Trade secret.
Okay, just ask yourself...
what do women really want?
You take these bored housewives,
married to the same guy for years.
They're stuck in a rut. They need some release!
The promise of adventure, a hint of danger.
I create that for them.
So basically you're lying your ass off the whole time.
See, I couldn't do that.
What are you, a Boy Scout?
No. Think of it as playing a role.
It's fantasy.
I mean, you gotta work on their dreams,
get them out of their daily suburban grind
for a few hours.
What about their husbands?
Dickless!
I mean, let's face it, if they took care of business,
I'd be out of business, you know what I mean?
Those idiots.
(tires screeching)
Hey, hey!
Hey, you mind keeping it under 90?
I'm still trying to pay for this dental work.
So who are you working on right now?
Hah, I always got a couple on the hook, you know.
There's this one right now.
I got her panting like a dog.
It's great.
What does she do?
Some sort of legal secretary or something.
You know, uptight and conservative.
Oh! She could be so hot if she wanted to be.
And with you, she gets to be real hot, huh?
Oh, red hot! Yeah.
Her thighs steam.
It's like a dying plant. Just needs a little water.
Married to some boring jerk...
Married to some boring jerk?
Yeah. You know, he doesn't appreciate her.
She's like all these babes...
you get their pilot lit,
they can suck-start a leaf-blower.
Oh, God, she's got the most incredible body
and a pair of titties, make you want to stand up
and beg for buttermilk.
Ass like a 10-year-old boy...
(laughing)
So, then she must be really good in bed then, huh?
Hey, whoa, slow down. You're gonna miss the turn.
Uhh! Whoa!
Ah! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
(engine revving)
(hand brake creaking)
See?
You and this car were made for each other.
Why fight it?
Sure, I got a couple other buyers on the line,
but I like your style.
So, what do you say?
Should we start up the paperwork?
Let me think about it.
Hold it for me for a day, okay?
Hey... (clicks tongue)
Because it's you.
I got today's transcripts.
Uh, not much going on.
Nothing from Simon?
Um, no.
(tires screeching)
(honking)
My turn to drive? Give me the page.
What are you talking about? This jumped from page nine to page eleven.
Where's page ten? It's got to be a typo.
Give me the goddamn page!
Okay.
Seek help, Harry.
HELEN: Hello? SIMON: Helen,
(clicks)
I need your help.
Can you meet me tonight?
What's happened?
It's serious.
Meet me on K Street
under the Key Bridge.
Eight o'clock sharp.
Gotcha.
Shit. It's almost eight o'clock.
(sighs)
(keyboard keys clacking)
HARRY: She's still at the house.
ALBERT: The purse is still at the house.
Shit.
Unit 2, unit 7. Immediate roll.
Acquire subject at K Street and Key Bridge.
Vehicle is red and white convertible.
You've got exactly six minutes.
Hey, wait a minute, man. Are you out of your mind?
You can't pull agents off a priority surveillance
to follow your wife!
It's a misappropriation of sector resources,
and it's a breach of national security.
You copy, Harry?
Hey, you're losing it big-time, man.
I have to stop you.
What are you going to do, tell?
Look, goddamn it, Harry,
both of our butts are on the line here, okay?
So your life's in the crapper.
So you're wife's banging a used car salesman.
It's humiliating, I know.
But goddamn it, take it like a man!
You tell on me, I tell on you.
What are you talking about? I'm as clean as a preacher's sheets.
I'm as clean as a ba...
What about the time you blew a six-week operation
because you were busy getting a blowjob, huh?
You knew about that?
Ha.
All right, let's take Franklin. It's a lot quicker.
Quick, get in. Hurry up. Let's go.
Two here. Suspect vehicle in sight.
One male, one female.
Don't be alarmed.
If I'm spotted, it'd be best if they didn't see you.
You should keep your head down
till we're out of the city.
Here. Let me help you.
That's better.
Okay, now the woman has her head in the guy's lap,
Southbound on the Key Bridge. Two in pursuit.
Roger, Two.
One to Condor, you got a visual?
PILOT (over radio): Roger, One. This is Condor.
Subject is in sight. Repeat. We have the ball.
We got a pretty good lockup on infrared.
Um, oh, yeah.
She's got her head in the guy's lap, all right.
Ya-hoo.
Maybe she's sleepy.
SIMON: Okay, this is a safe house.
My place in the city is just a little too hot right now.
So is the penthouse in New York.
(plastic clacks)
What is it exactly you need me to do?
Helen, I want you to be my wife.
But I'm married!
No, it's just for the operation in Paris.
I need to be married.
They'll be looking for a man traveling alone.
Par-Par... You want me to go to Paris?
Paris, with a quick stopover in London.
Helen...
there's a double agent in my outfit.
I don't know who.
There's no one I can trust except you.
Can you get away, just for a couple of days?
I-I...
I just don't know.
Of course. I'm rushing you.
Forgive me. Sit down. Make yourself comfortable.
Let me pour you some more wine.
Okay.
I'll do it.
You just saved my life.
You are incredibly brave.
I have to remind myself
of the fear you must be feeling.
You see, for me, fear is not an option.
Now, in order to pull this cover story off...
we have to look like two people
who are completely intimate with each other.
The enemy can spot a fake easily.
(gasps)
You see what I mean?
Sorry.
That reaction could get us both killed.
I'm sorry.
We can't afford that. No.
I-I'm sorry. It's...
Try to relax. (sighs)
It-It's just been a long time
since anybody but Harry's touched me like that.
I know. I know. It's awkward for me, too.
I'm sorry. That's all right.
Just sit back. I'm okay.
There. That's better. Mm-hmm.
Just let yourself...
slip into the role. Mm-hmm.
That's it.
There we go.
Just let yourself go.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. That's good.
That's great.
That's it. Mmm.
No. I can't do this. I can't do this.
What's wrong? It's okay.
No. I cannot do this. I cannot... do this!
If not for me...
do it for your country?
(helicopter whirring)
Aah!
Shit! (screaming)
(gun cocks)
Oh, God! Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me!
I'll do whatever you want. Oh!
Please! I didn't do anything!
Oh, no!
Ohh!
Aah!
Damn it!
Take her! Take her!
Oh, God, don't hurt me!
ALBERT: Oh! Ohh! Ow.
Son of a bitch!
Oh!
(whimpering)
(banging on door)
DISTORTED VOICE: Sit down.
(voice distorting) I said sit down.
Who do you work for?
Um, Stern, Kessler, Goldstein & Krumpnick.
I'm just a legal secretary.
Sure, Mrs. Tasker.
What were you doing with the international terrorist
Carlos the Jackal, taking dictation?
How long have you been a member of his faction?
I don't know anything about a faction.
I just met Simon...
or whoever you say he is...
just a couple weeks ago.
I barely know him.
That's not what it looked like when we found you.
How did you meet him?
Well... (clears throat)
Keep this for me.
I can't afford to be taken with it.
What?
It's a matter of national security.
No. Please.
It's important. I'll contact you.
Oh, shit.
HARRY (distorted voice): Why did you continue to see him?
He said he needed my help.
Not because you were attracted to him?
No!
You mean, you were not attracted to him at all?
No.
Well, maybe just a little.
So, is cheating a common thing for you?
No. Never.
So you're telling me this was your first time?
HELEN: I wasn't cheating!
Tell me about your husband, Mrs. Tasker.
Harry?
I-I... What can I say about Harry?
I mean, he's a sales rep for a computer company.
So sex with him isn't exactly waving your flag anymore.
That is none of your goddamn business!
Now, what kind of questions are these?
HARRY: You're in trouble Mrs. Tasker,
so I suggest you cooperate.
If we want to know
the most intimate details about your life,
you'd better tell us.
My husband is a good man.
But he's not exactly ringing your bell these days...
Let me handle this part. I mean, do you mind?
Why did you go to Carlos' hideout?
He wanted me to go to Paris with him
on a mission...
to pose as his wife.
And you agreed?
Why?
I don't know.
I guess I needed something.
What did you need?
(exhales forcefully)
I needed to feel alive.
I just wanted to do something outrageous.
And it felt really good...
to be needed...
and to be trusted...
and to be special.
It's just that there's
so much I wanted to do with this life,
and it's like I haven't done any of it.
And the sand's running out of the hourglass,
and I just wanted to be able to look back and say,
See? I did that!
I was reckless, and I was wild,
and I fucking did it!
(Helen sniffs)
Quite frankly, I don't give a shit
whether you understand that or not.
This Simon...
did you sleep with him?
No.
She's lying.
Yo... You mean you did not have sexual relations with him?
Listen, if you're gonna ask me every question twice,
this is gonna take a really long time,
and I have to get back to my family.
You're not going anywhere, lady.
Just let me out of here!
HARRY: Answer the question.
Answer the question!
No! I did... not...
sleep...
with him!
Calm down, please.
You hear me, you chickenshit bastard?
Calm down.
She could be telling the truth.
Calm down, Mrs. Tasker.
Calm down, please.
(breathing heavily)
I've only one more question, Mrs. Tasker.
What?
Do you...
still love your husband?
Yes, I love him.
I've always loved him.
And I will always love him.
She loves you! Now what?
(Helen sniffling)
There's only one solution to your problem, Mrs. Tasker.
(distorted voice) You must work for us.
Ohh.
What are you doing, Harry?
Just giving her a little assignment.
You gotta be shitting me!
She wants a little adventure.
So I'm gonna give her one.
I'm offering you a choice.
If you work for us, we will drop the charges,
and you can go back to your normal life.
If not, you will go to a federal prison,
and your husband and daughter
will be left humiliated and alone.
Your life will be destroyed.
Oh. Gee. Hmm. (clicks tongue)
Let me think.
Yes or no?
Of course yes.
What's involved?
You will be contacted with the assignment.
The code name of your contact will be Boris.
And your code name will be...
Natasha?
No.
Doris.
Pricks!
Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!
HARRY: You son of a bitch.
Did you think you could elude us forever, Carlos, huh?
Wait, you got the wrong guy. My name's Simon!
Look, j-just let me go.
There's no need to kill me.
I haven't seen your face...
No! Don't! Don't!
I didn't see it! I didn't see it!
Y-Y... It's you!
Hey, you still interested in that 'Vette at all?
ALBERT: Hey, Carlos.
The game's over.
Your career as an international terrorist
has been well documented.
No. No, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
No! I sell cars. That's all!
Come on.
(crying) I'm not a terrorist!
I'm actually a complete coward.
If I ever saw a gun... Oh, God!
Oh, please, don't! Don't! Don't! Don't kill me!
I'm not a spy.
I'm nothing!
I'm navel lint!
I have to lie to women to get laid!
And I don't score much.
I got a little dick. It's pathetic!
Oh!
(trickling)
Oh, God.
Oh! Would a spy pee himself, huh?
Huh?
Oh, God!
Please, I'm not worth a bullet.
Have mercy, sir.
Get the fuck outta here, huh?
Just beat it. Go on.
No! No! Soon as I turn, you're gonna shoot me!
You're gonna shoot me! You're gonna shoot me!
Please, you can have the car for free.
What do you say, huh?
Get lost, dipshit.
So last night must've been pretty exciting for you.
(rattling)
Um...
my flat tire? It was...
Actually, it was a little scary
because the tow truck driver took
such a long time.
(telephone rings)
I'll get it.
Hello?
ALBERT (distorted voice): Doris?
Um...
Um, yes?
Yes?
Listen carefully.
In exactly one hour, go to the Hotel Marquis.
Ohh.
Pick up an envelope marked Doris
at the front desk.
And dress sexy.
What?
Hello?
(with French accent) No, no. Turn around.
Do it doucement.
Do it very slowly.
You've reached a new all-time low with this one, I'll tell you.
I can't believe you're crazy enough to use the suite at The Marquis?
Do you think I can afford a suite like this on my salary.
Jean-Claude, is he done yet?
Hang on.
Who wrote this shit... Harry?
C'est la merde.
It's going great.
Hi.
Do you have an envelope for Doris?
This is Doris.
Listen, you are a prostitute named Michelle.
Go to the room.
There will be a man there.
He is a suspected arms dealer.
Now, wait a minute. Wait.
You don't expect me to, uh...
you know. No.
He has particular tastes.
He likes to watch.
Tell him that his regular girl Carla
is sick.
If he likes you, he will tell you what to do.
You must plant the bug
near the telephone by the bed before you leave.
If you do not complete your mission,
the deal is off.
(softly) I'm gonna go to hell.
(grunting)
(exhales)
Hello?
(French accent) Hello.
Have some champagne.
Come in here.
My name is Michelle.
Carla thought you'd like me.
Let me do the talking.
You may start by unzipping your dress.
No, no.
Turn around.
Do it doucement.
Do it very slowly.
Good.
Now slip the dress down slowly.
Good.
Now slide your nylons off,
one by one.
I'm not wearing any.
That's good.
(machine clicks)
Now, dance for me.
No, no, no.
Dance sexy.
Let your hands be your lover's hands
on your own skin as you move.
♪ It's extreme self-pity ♪
♪ And frozen fear ♪
♪ 'Cause I want you with me ♪
♪ And you're not here ♪
♪ So I rub my nose in it, babe ♪
♪ Till the roses smell just like death ♪
♪ I'm all alone in the dark, now, baby ♪
♪ I'm all alone ♪
(thud)
♪ In the dark, now, baby ♪
♪ I'm all alone ♪
♪ Drawing whiskey breath ♪
♪ Alone in the dark ♪
♪ Oh oh ♪
♪ Since the day that you left ♪
♪ I just couldn't stand myself anyway ♪
♪ I'm all alone in the dark, now, baby ♪
♪ I'm all alone and drawing whiskey breath ♪
♪ I'm all alone in the dark, now, baby ♪
♪ I'm all alone ♪
Now lie on the bed and close your eyes.
I thought you only liked to watch.
Now lie on the bed and close your eyes.
Mm...
(whimpering)
Oh...
Aah!
- You pig! - (grunts)
Bastard!
Aah.
Helen. Helen. Wait, wait, wait.
Harry?
Yes, it's Harry.
I know it looks bad, but I can explain.
(shouting)
Nobody move! (screams)
Don't move!
(speaking Arabic)
Helen, just don't do anything.
No, he has nothing to do with it.
I'm the one you want!
Shut up! Okay.
Quiet, Helen. Do what they say.
Come on, guys, let the hooker go.
She's not important.
You don't need her.
Harry, please just let me handle this.
Shut up!
What were you doing there?
(speaks Arabic)
You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Talk again, I'll kill you!
(whimpering)
(speaking Arabic)
Harry.
I wish I could say it's nice to see you again, Juno.
You know her?
You know, this shade's totally wrong for you.
So who's your little friend?
I'm Helen Tasker. Harry is my husband.
And you are?
Oh, so now it's Tasker, not Renquist.
She's just some wacko hooker
that I met down at the bar.
Harry, what is the matter with you?
Just tell her the truth.
We are married,
and we have a daughter.
I don't know what the crazy bitch is on,
but you should cut her loose
and we can get down to business.
Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
Well, where did I get this then, huh?
Where did I get this?
(sighs)
Something before takeoff?
Ow!
That hurt, you b...
She was telling the truth, wasn't she, Harry?
She really doesn't know.
How interesting.
(men yelling)
Bring them.
Incredible, aren't they?
I call them The Four Horsemen.
They're warrior figures...
from the Persian empire of Darius I,
around 500 B.C.
They're absolutely priceless.
Pity.
(speaking Arabic)
Wait! Wait!
Open it.
Do you know what this is?
I know what this is.
This is an espresso machine.
No, no, no.
It's a sno-cone maker. That's what it is.
Is it a water heater?
Do you know why you've been brought here?
So that this man can verify to the world
the Crimson Jihad is now a nuclear power.
How can he do that?
He is just a salesman, for Christ's sake.
You're wrong about him.
Or the last thing you will see will be
your blood spraying across his face.
(sighs)
It's a Soviet MIRV-6
from an SS-22-N launch vehicle.
The warhead contains 14.5 kilograms
of enriched uranium with a plutonium trigger.
The nominal yield is 30 kilotons.
(speaking Arabic)
(men speaking Arabic)
What can I say?
I'm a spy.
You bastard!
You lying son of a bitch!
Sorry, honey.
Oh, don't you call me honey!
You don't ever get to call me honey again!
You understand me, you pig?
HARRY: And I can verify that they have the arming box
and all the equipment necessary
to detonate all four warheads.
You have killed our women and our children,
bombed our cities from afar like cowards,
and you dare to call us terrorists?
Now the oppressed have been given a mighty sword
with which to strike back at their enemies.
Unless you, America,
pulls all military forces out of the Persian Gulf area
immediately and forever,
the Crimson Jihad will rain fire
on one major US city each week
until our demands are met.
First, we will detonate one weapon
on this uninhabited island
as a demonstration of our power
and the Crimson Jihad's willingness
to be humanitarian.
However, if these demands are not met,
the Crimson Jihad will rain fire
on one major American city each week...
Battery, Aziz.
Get another one, you moron.
I think I have... Shh.
Shh. In the truck.
Jurias?
What? Look at this.
That's not mine.
Nice transmitter.
Miami tower, Jetstar 6479 Delta on final.
We'll be on the ground in 12 minutes. All right.
Hey, tell those DEA boys
that the helo's hot and ready to fly in 12 minutes.
Signal's definitely stopped moving.
It's an island in the Keys out past Marathon.
(rapid beeping)
We lost the signal.
Shit!
All right, everyone. This is Samir.
For 50 points, see if you can guess his specialty.
Oral hygiene?
Not exactly.
Harry, what's going on?
Oh, Samir's just gonna ask Harry a few questions.
See, we're not even sure which agency Harry works for.
Now, Samir's absolutely first-class.
On the other hand, we have Harry here,
who's managed to lie convincingly
to the woman he loves for 15 years.
So it'll be interesting to see
how long he can resist.
This will help.
You know, you should swab that with alcohol.
I might get an infection.
I'll return when this has taken effect.
Then we'll talk.
I'm looking forward to it.
Now, why are you helping these raving psychotics?
Because they're very well-funded raving psychotics,
and I'm getting a lot of money.
What, you think I care about their cause?
Or yours?
Not at all.
You're damaged goods, lady.
Did you tell her about us, Harry?
There is no "us," you psychopathic bitch.
Oh, sure.
You say that now.
Thanks for everything, Harry.
Wasn't bad while it lasted.
(snaps fingers) Let's go.
JUNO: You two stay here.
There was nothing.
I swear.
(Harry groaning softly)
(voice distorted) What did they give you?
Sodium amytal or some other truth agent.
It makes you tell the truth?
Mm-hmm.
Is it working?
Ask me a question that I normally would lie to.
Are we gonna die?
Yep.
I'd say it's working.
They're gonna shoot us in the head
or they're gonna torture us to death
or they're gonna leave us here until the bomb blows...
Harry!
(voice distorted) How long have you been
a spy, Harry?
Seventeen years.
(chuckles)
Have you ever killed anyone?
Yeah, but they were all bad.
Ahh...
Is there anything you want to tell me
before we start?
Yeah.
I'm going to kill you pretty soon.
I see.
How, exactly?
First, I'm going to use you as a human shield,
then I'm going to kill this guard over there
with the Patterson trocar on the table,
and then I was thinking about breaking your neck.
(saw buzzing)
And what makes you think you can do all that?
You know my handcuffs?
Mmm.
I picked them.
(gasps)
(grunting)
(speaking Arabic)
Let's get out of here.
(chanting in Arabic)
(speaking Arabic)
Come on!
Harry!
Drop the gun!
Honey...
next time, duck.
Let's go.
I married Rambo.
(speaking Arabic)
(whispering) What are they doing?
Uh-oh.
It is done.
(speaking Arabic)
In 90 minutes...
a ball of holy fire...
will light up the skies...
to show to the world...
that we speak the truth.
We are set on our course.
No force can stop us now.
(speaking Arabic)
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
If we're on an island,
why are they using trucks?
We must be in the Florida Keys.
The overseas highway connects all the islands to the mainland.
There's no borders, no customs.
They can go anywhere in the US.
There's nothing to stop them.
Just us.
Here.
Take this. Oh, shit.
(bones crack)
(men speaking Arabic)
(clicks)
(screaming)
(speaking Arabic)
Shoot!
Shit!
(whimpering)
(screams) (bones crack)
(gun jams) Shit!
(shouting in Arabic)
Shit!
(whooshes)
(gasps)
Yes!
Let's go.
(clicks tongue)
Oh. My condolences to the widow.
(gunshot)
We may need a hostage.
Okay, let's go, Suzy Homemaker.
(gasps)
JUNO: Hurry up, you idiot!
Just get her in the car. Let's get going.
I thought this looked like your work.
Let's go. I'll brief you in the air.
You're welcome.
Let's go. Let's get out of here! Come on!
Let's go. Come on!
HARRY: Well, you tell that son of a bitch
this is a Bright Boy alert.
I repeat. A Bright Boy alert.
This is not a drill. Do you understand that?
All right. Hold on.
Put me through to the White House.
No, see, the minimum safe distance is 12 miles.
Get the Marine Patrol in right away.
I want the Coast Guard, and I want the Sheriff's Department too.
Anyone that cannot make that distance,
you got to get 'em out by air.
Okay. You've got exactly 34 minutes.
Wait...
I can get you two Marine Corps Harriers here
in 11 minutes.
They're on maneuvers outside NAS Key West.
Get them. I'll brief them on the way in. Okay.
Send 'em in right away.
Would you like one?
I want state police driving through the streets, okay?
On their damn loudspeakers.
Hey, here they come.
(jets roaring)
PILOT: Lime 0-1's got a tally on three trucks
eastbound on the bridge.
Roger, Lime 0-1.
You're clear to engage.
Break loose, Padlock.
In hot with guns.
Let's get some.
(yelling in Arabic)
(speaking Arabic)
(yelling in Arabic)
(speaking Arabic)
(yelling in Arabic)
HARRY: Okay, Marines, it's time to kick ass.
Recommend using your Mavericks to take out the bridge.
Roger that. Lime flight, switch Mavericks.
Two.
These missiles won't set off those nukes, will they?
Negative. That's a negative, Lime 0-1.
Fire.
Bingo!
Good shooting, Marines.
Aah!
(tires screeching)
(all screaming)
(squawks)
(speaking in Arabic)
(yelling in Arabic)
I'll kill you!
It's out of control.
Look like somebody capped the driver.
Bitch!
(grunts)
(choking)
Like one?
(grunts)
How about two?
Get down to the limo!
Come on. Take it down.
Let's go!
Get down!
Take it down. All right.
Harry?
Harry!
The bridge is out!
What?
The bridge is out!
I can't hear you!
What?
Oh, God!
The bridge is out!
Harry!
Harry, come on! Come on!
Speed up a little bit now.
Get down there.
Come on! Hurry!
Hurry, Harry!
Grab my hand!
Come back! Harry!
Okay. To the right. To the right.
Come on! I can't reach!
Get lower!
Lower! Harry!
Hold on!
Hold on really tight.
Harry!
Oh, come back!
ALBERT: Pull up, pull up, pull up!
Grab my hand! You can do it!
Try it! I can't reach!
Come on! Come down!
Oh, God, Harry!
Harry!
Oh, shit.
Come on, baby.
(Helen screaming)
HARRY: Hold on!
I got you!
Hold on tight!
Harry!
(continues screaming)
(jet engines whining)
ALBERT: Okay, let's get this thing on the ground.
Aah!
MAN (over bullhorn): All right, let's get these aircrafts
on the ground, gentlemen.
We got a nuclear bomb going off in about one minute.
(siren wailing)
Any minute now. All right, I know.
Go, go, go.
Come here. Give me a bullhorn.
All right, everybody, it's show time.
Do not look at the flash. Do not look at the flash!
Get down over there.
We should be safe here.
Tch, tch.
This is the wrong finger.
(distant rumbling)
Harry.
Hey, Harry! Come here!
Go to work. Okay.
Bye.
Okay. All right.
Listen, Aziz's copter landed about 20 minutes ago
atop a high-rise in downtown Miami.
That's where he rendezvoused
with about a dozen other faction members,
and they're holed up on the 20th floor.
Now, I got SWAT down there,
and the cops have cordoned off the area.
Harry, they got a hostage. It's Dana.
What do you mean? My Dana?
I'm real sorry, Harry. I don't know what to say.
I guess he grabbed her in the middle of the night or something.
I had no idea. We just found out about it.
But I'll tell you what, Harry. I don't want you to worry.
I'm gonna get her back. I've already got a guy on the inside.
Harry, listen. Come here.
We're gonna get her back. Here we go.
Excuse me, Captain.
I got to borrow your plane for a minute.
Excuse me, sir?
Listen, uh, Force Comm,
they cleared you to give us total cooperation, am I right?
Yes, sir, but...
You know that comes from the president
of these United States, Captain.
Bu-But, sir, you have to sign for this aircraft.
ALBERT: Oh, I'll sign for it. You got a pen?
You take care of it, would you?
Hey, Harry, do you realize that it has in fact been ten years
since you've been behind the wheel of one of these things?
I break it, they can take it out of my pay.
Harry, listen, don't worry about it.
We got a guy on the inside, Harry.
Whoa!
Got to move back, everybody. Come on. Let's go!
(mouthing words)
All right, everybody, it's gonna be all right!
It's gonna be okay.
He's got hundreds of hours in the Harriers there.
He is a little rusty right now,
but that's a trademark Tasker takeoff.
I got to be honest with you.
It's like riding a bike. You never forget, really.
We might want to seek shelter!
Sorry.
Whoa!
NEWSREADER: The streets are filled with running people
as the police try to evacuate the buildings.
They're firing again...
NEWSREADER 2: Appear to be shooting wildly
into the air as I'm speaking.
Now, these seem to be warning shots.
So far, they have not fired at us or the police...
NEWSREADER 3: This apparently is the same group
which just detonated a nuclear bomb
in the Florida Keys.
AZIZ (on TV): Crimson Jihad will rain fire
on one major US city each week
until our demands are met.
NEWSREADER 4: This tape was released to the media
just minutes after the terrorists...
I have to go to the bathroom.
We'll repeat the tape in just a few moments
following this live report from the scene.
(gunfire)
Hold your fire. Hold your fire!
The video crew you wanted is here!
Send them!
They're coming in. They're unarmed.
(speaking Arabic)
Come on. Let's go.
Go.
This is a communique from Crimson Jihad.
You have seen a demonstration of our power.
Do not force us to destroy this city
and do not try to use force against us.
I... we... are all prepared to die.
With one turn of that key...
two million of your people will die...
(snaps fingers) ...instantly!
What key? That key!
Who's taken the key?
Shoot her!
(shouting in Arabic)
Holy shit!
Whoa.
HARRY: Unit 1 to Unit 7. Give me a situation report.
One to Seven. Give me a sit rep.
Faisil, do you copy?
Seven here. 21st floor secure.
About 12 faction members on the 20th floor.
No hostages there.
HARRY: Where's Dana?
FAISIL: She's on the roof.
HARRY: Okay, stay put.
And give me that address again.
You shoot me, this will fall!
Stay where you are!
Give me the key!
I'll drop it, I swear!
No!
Give me the key.
Come on, child.
You don't want to die, do you?
Give me the key...
and you won't get hurt.
I give you my word!
No way, you wacko!
Help me!
(rumbling)
(shouting in Arabic)
Please don't come any closer!
Aah!
Help me! Help me!
Somebody!
Help me!
Help me, please!
Help me, somebody!
Help!
Dana, jump down! Jump!
Come on down. Jump down.
Dad?
Aah!
Help me!
Daddy!
Daddy! Come back!
Daddy, get me down!
Daddy!
Daddy, help me! Dana, jump!
Jump! Daddy will catch you! Daddy, help me!
Jump!
I can't!
Hold on! Hold on!
(screaming)
Daddy, don't you let me fall, please!
Daddy! Dana, I got you!
I'm slipping!
No, Dana!
Help me! I'm gonna fall!
Come on, hold my hand!
Hold on tight, honey.
Yaah!
(salsa music playing)
(screams)
(groans)
Daddy, he's behind you!
Take this plane down... now!
I'll kill her!
Take it down... now!
My God, do something!
Huh?
You're fired.
(screaming)
(engine powering down)
It's okay.
Dana.
Honey.
It's over.
Hi, pumpkin.
REPORTER: Just seconds after the jet landed,
the unidentified pilot was escorted from the scene
by federal agents.
Though it is unclear at this moment
which agency was responsible for the operation
which ended the terrorist threat
so dramatically early this morning,
we've learned from Miami Police...
DANA: One...
HELEN: No, wait. Stop.
Just begin. Now watch. HARRY: Okay. Fine...
HELEN: It's not just one.
Okay, ready? Do it properly.
HARRY: One...
ALL: One, two, three, four,
HELEN: I declare a thumb war.
ALL: Five, six, seven, eight,
try to keep your thumb straight.
Stop it!
You don't... Wait!
I got you.
All right. Just listen. Listen to the rules.
- One, two... - (telephone ringing)
No, just start over.
(ringing)
Hello?
(distorted voice) Boris and Doris?
We're on.
Yes? Go ahead.
("The Blue Danube" playing)
(speaking Japanese)
Colonel, how nice to see you again.
Good evening.
Who's that?
♪ Doo doo ♪
♪ Doo doo doo doo... ♪
So, what's the scoop, team?
You see your contact yet?
Haven't seen him yet.
But I see somebody I'd like to say hello to.
Here, let me pour you some more champagne.
I got to keep up the waiter bit.
These stakeouts can be tricky, you know.
You never know when things might explode
into a life or death situation.
If it gets rough, just stay low until it's over,
and I'll contact you later.
Maybe you should give me your te...
So, we meet again, Carlos. (bottle thuds on floor)
(yelps)
Honey, I'm just gonna do him right here, okay?
Go for it.
Oh, God.
(urinating)
Fear is not an option.
(silverware clattering)
("Por una Cabeza" playing)
Dance?
Oh, no. Tango.
Oh, shit. Here we go.
Harry, Helen...
guys?
(over radio) Come on, now.
Let's not get distracted.
We have some work to do.
All right, guys. Come on.
Getting pretty serious in there.
I'd be serious if I was in there.
Don't ignore me, Harry.
That's rude.
All right, guys. Come on.
National security, guys. Come on.
Life and death.
Harry.
Helen?
Helen, I was always on your side.
I was always there for you, Helen.
You know what?
I'm sick of being in the van.
You guys are going to be in the van next time.
I been in the van for 15 years, Harry.
♪ It's getting near dawn ♪
♪ When light close their tired eyes ♪
♪ I'll soon be with you, my love ♪
♪ And give you my dawn surprise ♪
♪ I'll stay with you, darling, now ♪
♪ I'll stay with you ♪
♪ Till my seas are dried up ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ I've been waiting so long ♪
♪ To be where I'm going ♪
♪ In the sunshine ♪
♪ Of your love ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
(laughter)