Though it was a blatant violation of the Prime Directive,
Kirk saved the Pelosians,
just as he had the Baezians and the Chenari many years earlier.
Finally, in the year 2270,
Kirk completed his historic five-year mission,
and one of the greatest chapters in Starfleet history came to a close.
A new chapter began when Kirk regained command.
- How many more chapters are there? - 34.
This was supposed to be a 20-minute presentation.
I was trying to be thorough. I could shorten the report.
That won't be necessary. You obviously know the subject matter.
Congratulations, Cadet. You have just passed Early Starfleet History.
Thank you, Captain.
I would have failed him.
Kirk may have been a lowly human, but he had pizzazz.
That report made him sound as exciting as a funeral dirge.
- Janeway to security. - Don't bother.
I trapped your crew in a temporal loop.
They keep experiencing the last 30 seconds.
- Almost as monotonous as that essay. - Who are you?
He's grown since you last saw him,
but don't tell me you can't see the resemblance.
This is my son. Q.
I'm hurt that you didn't recognise Junior. You are his godmother.
Last time I saw him he was an infant.
You called me "adorable”.
You remember?
I looked like an infant but I was a Q.
Great godparent.
- Can I ask Jean-Luc? - What do you want?
Junior's taking a little vacation,
I recommended he spend it with you.
He's fascinated by the old man's stories about humanity.
It's time he had some first-hand experience.
I'm flattered you'd entrust me with him.
But I don't have time.
He's as quiet as a church mouse.
You'll forget he's even here.
Well, if you're going to stay,
let's lay down a few ground rules.
I make my own rules.
I'm not detecting either Q.
Alert me if they resurface.
Scan, scan, scan.
That's all you ever do.
I've been through every deck.
Do you know what I've seen?
Bipeds pushing buttons.
Bipeds replacing relays.
Bipeds running diagnostics.
Do something interesting!
Say hello to Q, everyone.
Let's fly into fluidic space
and fight Species 8472.
Or detonate some Omega molecules.
What do you say?
No.
20 minutes of humanity, I'm already bored.
I'll just have to amuse myself.
Captain, I need you in engineering.
One dance, B'Elanna. That's all I ask. One dance!
If he doesn't stop, the warp core's going to breach.
- Relax! It's a party! - This party is over.
Get your guests off my ship.
I like you, Aunt Kathy. You've got gumption.
But you don't have unlimited control of space, matter and time.
Which means I give the orders around here.
I could attempt to take engineering by force.
- That wouldn't do any good. - That's what he's hoping for.
He's doing everything he can to get under our skin.
If we don't respond, he may become bored and return to the Continuum.
Talk about perfection!
You won't succeed in embarrassing me.
I'm just observing humanity.
Aren't you going to scamper away? Try to cover yourself?
- Coffee. Black. - Make it yourself.
You can thank Q's son. He thought the computer needed more personality.
Charming.
I've been giving some thought to the Q situation.
Maybe ignoring him isn't the best solution.
I'm open to suggestions.
He may be omnipotent, but he's still a young man in need of guidance.
Perhaps if someone were to approach him as a friend.
- You think he needs a mentor. - Exactly.
- Are you volunteering? - I am good with children.
- Q is no ordinary child. - I'm no ordinary mentor.
Can I help you, kitchen rat?
I thought you and I could spend some time together.
- Excellent manoeuvre. - What are you watching?
The battle between the Vojeans and the Wyngari.
We passed through that region a few months ago.
- They were at peace. - Not any more.
Watch this.
- You have to stop this. - There's nothing else to do.
- We could play Kadis-Kot. - Are there explosions?
- Well, no... - Then I'm not interested.
Instead of hurting people, maybe you could help them.
The Wyngari are suffering a food shortage.
- You could use your powers to... - You know what, Talaxian?
You talk too much.
His jaw's been fused and his vocal chords removed.
I can undo the cosmetic damage, but only Q can restore his voice.
- Janeway to the bridge. Report. - I've got a surprise.
Q said I should pay attention to how humans act under pressure.
Is this enough pressure?
- We're venting plasma. - Reroute power and return fire.
- You're prolonging the inevitable. - We've defeated the Borg before.
Not this time.
- Weapons are off-line. - I'm losing thrusters.
Shields are down.
We were just getting to the good part.
If the Continuum's told you once, they've told you 1,000 times.
Don't provoke the Borg!
Now, give Aunt Kathy your word you won't do it again.
He won't do it again because he's leaving. Now.
Excuse us, son. The grown-ups need a moment in private.
He's not so bad. He's just misunderstood.
He tried to kill my crew.
No one was hurt. I repaired the damage.
I even gave your pet Talaxian his vocal chords back.
How long do you think it will take your son
to find another way to amuse himself?
Why did you send him here? Is this another lesson for humanity?
It's a lesson for him. Think back to my last visit.
- I made you the offer of a lifetime. - Asking me to mate with you?
If you had I wouldn't have mated with that other Q.
Junior was meant to inspire peace and compassion.
But he's brought chaos.
He's been starting wars among innocent species,
tampering with gene pools, punching holes in space-time.
Where's his mother been?
She's been so humiliated she's disowned him.
She's blamed me for everything.
I've undone the damage but the Continuum wants more.
They're hounding me to straighten him out.
That's why I brought him here.
In hopes that your Starfleet ideals would rub off on him.
That hasn't happened.
You can't dump your child on someone and hope he learns.
- I can't? - He needs to be parented.
How am I supposed to do that?
Q was the first child born in the Continuum, so I'm the first parent.
I don't know where to begin.
You could start by spending time with him.
Parenthood is more than cleaning up your child's messes.
You need to set an example. It's the only way he'll learn.
Of course. Once he knows me better, he'll idolise me.
Then he'll do anything I say. Kathy...
you're a genius.
I've made a full sensor sweep. There's no sign of more Borg vessels.
- The boy? - He's gone.
I'm going to my quarters. You have the bridge.
I take it back. You're no genius.
I shouldn't have taken the advice of a human.
- Q! - Your plan didn't work.
I smothered him with attention, spent every moment with him.
- Things got worse. - You've been gone for ten minutes!
On your temporal plane, maybe. In Q time, we've spent years together.
Now he won't be seen with me. It's all your fault.
- My fault? - How will you rectify the situation?
What happened after you left Voyager?
Q got away from me and rearranged the tectonic plates on Bozel Prime.
You punished him?
I tried to get him to apologise
to all 16 billion Bozelians, but he got angry and stopped talking.
So you gave in to him?
I told him he could shift continents as long as no one got hurt.
You're not doing your son any favours by indulging him.
Make him understand that there are consequences to his actions.
Consequences?
Kathy, I take it back. You are a genius.
I think that's long enough.
- What was that for? - You didn't enjoy life as an amoeba?
No. I was shapeless and slimy. The only thing to eat was paramecia.
I'm sure you'll do whatever you can to avoid returning to that Petri dish.
What?
The Continuum and I have come to an agreement about your future.
Either you become an upstanding citizen of the cosmos
or you'll be sentenced to eternity as an amoeba.
- How's that for consequences? - You'd turn your son into an amoeba?
You have one week to change your ways. Make the most of it.
Fine. I'll see you in seven days.
We've relieved you of your powers
to ensure you're on your best behaviour with the captain.
- You're leaving me here? - You're to take a more active role.
I'd like to, Kathy.
But you're a million times the parent I am.
- I'm not a parent. - Not biologically.
But you're certainly a mummy to this crew.
Look how you housebroke that drone.
It's taken years... for Seven to become an individual.
You're asking me to change your son in one week?
- I'm sure you'll think of something. - What if she doesn't?
Then it's single-cellular city for you, my boy.
I'm getting off this ship.
Janeway to security.
What you no longer have is unlimited control of space, matter and time,
which means I give the orders around here.
Your quarters.
- The Petri dish was less cramped. - You'll need some sleep.
- Why? - I'm preparing a curriculum for you.
You're going to learn respect and responsibility.
You're actually going through with Q's plan?
I may not approve of his methods, but his heart's in the right place.
His desire to help you is genuine.
He abandoned me on an antiquated flying machine run by primates.
We primates are your only hope.
Seven days? How hard could it be?
Seven will instruct you in spatial causality.
You'll see the results of your actions.
I read the padd. You're gonna tell me how I can't create anomaly A
without causing phenomenon B, which affects civilisation C, right?
- I'm Icheb. - I know who you are.
- You're the drone with the Kirk fixation. - Follow Icheb's example.
He's become a valued member of this crew.
Can I see you naked again?
Computer, run diplomacy scenario 12 alpha.
The planetoid is in Nausicaan space. It belongs to us now.
After you.
You can't intimidate us.
We've as much right to mine that dilithium as you do.
What are you doing here?
Computer, freeze program.
I assume you know these species.
Nausicaan, Bolian, Cardassian, Romulan, Ferengi and Bajoran.
They're fighting over mining rights. Your job is to settle the dispute.
They mean nothing to me. What do I care if they can't get along?
One of your responsibilities is to maintain order in the universe.
So I've been told.
If you can't help these races come to an agreement, there might be a war.
The Alpha Quadrant would be thrown into chaos.
Lets run the first scenario together.
I don't need your help. I can do this myself.
If you want to try, be my guest.
I'll be back in 30 minutes to check on your progress.
And remember, security is right outside.
Computer, resume program.
The planetoid is in Nausicaan space. It belongs to us now.
You can't intimidate us. We have as much right to the dilithium as you do.
Shouldn't you be supervising our young guest?
- He says he doesn't need supervision. - You accepted that?
No. I'm just giving him a chance to fail. Then he'll have to ask for help.
Good strategy. Let me know how it goes.
Settling the predicament didn't take long
so I used the time to get the Cardassian to apologise for the occupation of Bajor.
How's that for order in the universe?
Welcome. It's so nice to see you this evening.
I hope you're hungry. Step right up. There's plenty for everyone. Enjoy.
- Do you ever stop? - Oh, I'm sorry.
I forgot my talking annoys you.
Too bad you can't just shut me up again.
Crewman Biddle. Where have you been hiding? I haven't seen you in days.
It's drone boy. Have you come to put me to sleep with a presentation?
I was wondering if you'd like to participate in some recreation.
I don't have time. I have to write a historical essay on the Q Continuum.
- That's challenging. - I've never written an essay before.
I don't know where to start.
The origin of the Q seems logical,
followed by their interaction with humanity.
Conclude with the events that led you to Voyager.
- Could you write this down for me? - I'll get a padd.
Insightful. Informative. I'm impressed.
- Too bad you didn't write it. - What?
I'd recognise Icheb's style anywhere.
He gave me a few notes on my first draft, that's all.
I negotiated a peace treaty between six belligerent species in 13 minutes.
You altered their personality subroutines to make them more agreeable.
We may be common bipeds but we're not stupid.
Your training is over. Go back to your room and wait for your father.
If you don't help me, I'll be turned into an amoeba.
I wanted to help you. But instead of living up to your potential, you cheated.
Do you think it's easy to live up to my potential?
I was supposed to be the saviour of the Q Continuum.
How do you save a race that's already omnipotent?
Those were the Q's expectations, not mine.
I just asked that you make an effort, but you didn't even try.
Please, Aunty Kathy. You're my only hope.
I'm glad you finally realise that.
If your motives are sincere, I'll give you another chance.
But step out of line and I'm through with you.
- Understood. - Dismissed.
Captain's log, stardate 54704.5.
It's been four days since my ultimatum, and Q is making progress.
He's taking on his assignments with new determination,
and he's made an effort to be more courteous to the crew.
It's hard to believe this is the brazen young man that first came aboard.
Captain, this is for you.
It's a new draft of my essay.
You didn't ask for one but I felt I owed it to you for giving me a second chance.
"I, Q. An Insider's View Of The Continuum."
If it's half as clever as the title, I'll enjoy it.
Lieutenant Paris has offered me a piloting lesson.
- Will you join us? - Thanks.
But I have to help scrub the plasma conduits.
I think you've earned a break.
This is your only time off. Take advantage of it.
Yes, ma'am.
Piloting lesson? Where are we going?
Steady. Ease up a little on the thrusters.
I'm mortal now. I'd appreciate it if you didn't fly us into a rock.
Maybe Q could take over for a little while.
You want a turn at the wheel?
Ordinarily a Q wouldn't demean himself by operating primitive machinery,
but these aren't ordinary circumstances.
- Did I do something wrong? - Just a little ion imbalance.
- Nothing to worry about. - It's distracting. Can't you fix it?
We'd have to go back to Voyager and run diagnostics.
If you two don't mind cutting your lesson short.
That won't be necessary. I barely hear it. Do you?
Hear what?
- Going up? - I'll catch the next one.
- You can't get away that easily. - Why are you back?
I thought I'd check on Junior.
I'm not entirely uninvolved.
He got off to a shaky start but he's made some progress.
He's been working extremely hard.
We're talking about the same Q?
Maybe you should see for yourself.
The Continuum has been seen a number of ways -
a dreary desert road, a battleground.
But I've begun to perceive it in another context - a home.
I look forward to returning there and making that perception a reality.
Well?
- What did you think? - It's very nice.
- Nice? - I liked the part about the Continuum.
- It was all about the Continuum. - Yes, and it's very nice.
I'm late for my lesson.
Q!
If there's nothing else, I'll be on my way.
The least you could have done was tell him you were proud of him.
- But I'm not. - Oh!
Frankly, it's hard to be impressed with any of the boy's accomplishments.
In five days what have you taught him?
How to scribble essays. What's next? Basket weaving?
Your son has made progress here.
He could be a better Q than you will ever be.
- Potential won't be enough. - Then what will be enough?
He needs to demonstrate nothing less that exemplary Q-ness.
What exactly is "Q-ness"?
It's impossible for your miniscule mind to comprehend.
But I know Q-ness when I see it.
And this... is not it.
Come in.
I wanted to see how you were.
I'm perfectly fine. Why wouldn't I be?
I thought you might be upset by Q's reaction to your essay.
He's impossible to please. I don't care what he thinks.
We have two days left. Let's make the most of them.
Aunt Kathy...
Do you think the Continuum will be any more impressed with me than Q was?
That's what I thought.
If the Continuum decides they won't take you back,
I'll ask them to let you stay here.
- They don't care where amoebas live. - That's not what I meant.
I'll ask them to let you remain human.
I appreciate that.
But I don't want to be human.
I want to be a Q... like my father.
Itchy, are you in here?
- Itchy? - What can I do for you, Q-ball?
I need your help.
Remember that ion imbalance Lieutenant Paris mentioned?
- We're gonna repair it. - Did you get permission?
- That'd ruin the surprise. - Surprise?
The captain encourages me to take more initiative.
I want to show her I can do things without being asked.
- I'll help you on one condition. - Name it.
You won't refer to me as "ltchy" in front of the senior officers.
I've realigned the last pair of power couplings.
- Start the pre-ignition sequence. - Understood.
I'm not detecting any ion fluctuations.
We did it. You can power down the engine now.
Q...
- What are you doing? - You're gonna love this.
I once learned how to open a spatial flexure using a deflector array.
- Flexure? - It's like a tunnel through space.
I'm opening one to the Clevari System. The females are spectacular.
We need the captain's permission to leave.
Would she give it to us?
- No. - Then there's no point in asking.
You've done so well. Why break the rules now?
- I'm bored. - Icheb to security.
I've dampened all outgoing communications.
Just sit back, ltchy. Enjoy the ride.
What's the real reason for this?
I'm getting out before they put me back in that Petri dish.
The Q are omnipotent. They'll find you.
I may not have my powers any more,
but I know plenty of cosmic nooks and crannies to hide in.
Voyager's locked onto us with a tractor beam. They're so predictable.
They're opening a spatial rift off their port bow.
- It's disrupting the tractor beam. - Compensate.
They're gone.
Welcome to the Clevari System.
What would you like to do first? Take a dip with the mermaids of Golos Prime?
Challenge the warrior-goddess to a contest?
I want to return to Voyager.
Forget that dreary ship, with its rules and regulations.
- We can do anything we want. - Go back to Voyager.
- The captain will help you. - It's too late.
She said one more violation and I'll be thrown off her ship. This qualifies.
- What's wrong? - There's a vessel approaching.
You're trespassing in Chokuzan space.
We were just leaving.
Our laws require that you be incarcerated pending an investigation.
- How long will that take? - Prepare to be boarded.
- We should do as he says. - Why? Because he has a bigger ship?
Because the captain has taught us to respect other cultures' laws.
I shouldn't have brought you along.
- You'll get us killed. - You expected me to surrender?
- He might have locked us up for years. - You don't know that.
There's no time for debate. I need you at tactical.
Shields are down to 30%.
- 16%! - I'm opening another flexure.
We'll go to Zozek. The girls aren't as attractive but we have to compromise.
Another rift is forming, approximately 5,000 km directly ahead.
- A vessel is emerging. - It's the Flyer.
They're hailing.
- Aunt Kathy. - Don't you "Aunt Kathy" me.
Yell at me later. We need to get Icheb to sickbay.
His cells are being necrotised by omicron radiation.
But I need to know more about the weapon that caused his injuries.
- Is this a bad time? - Tell him.
Icheb stole a shuttle from Voyager.
He kidnapped me. And he fought with another ship.
He stole the shuttle and attacked the vessel?
Is that true, son?
- Just save him. - Don't be absurd.
You won't help?
Like Aunt Kathy said, you'll never learn
if you don't face the consequences of your actions.
If your playmate has to die to teach you a lesson, so be it.
I know you can hear me, Q. Come back!
- You're wasting your time. - He's the only one who can save Icheb!
No, he isn't. You're going back to that ship you attacked.
You're going to apologise and plead for the information we need to save Icheb.
Look at what they did to him. They'll do the same to me.
What do you care? Tomorrow you'll be an amoeba.
- I'd rather be an amoeba than a corpse. - That would be easier.
No expectations to live up to. No one to disappoint.
I'm a failure as a Q and a human. As an amoeba I can't hurt anybody.
- Why did you come back here? - To escape the Chokuzan.
You could have gone anywhere.
But you came back here to us. Why?
I probably hit the wrong control.
Icheb is the only friend I've ever had.
I thought you could save him. Obviously I was mistaken.
The only mistake you made was running away.
You have a chance to do the right thing now. Don't waste it.
The attack on your vessel was entirely my fault.
Icheb had nothing to do with it, but he's the one who's dying.
I take full responsibility for what happened. I'll do anything you ask.
Just help my friend.
We'll repair any damage he did to your ship.
Are you responsible for this child?
I suppose I am.
We'll accept his apology
and give you the information you need to save his accomplice.
But you will be punished for their crime.
She had nothing to do with it.
Adults are accountable for the actions of their children.
I attacked your ship. I should be punished for it, not her.
You don't know what the punishment is. It might be torture.
- Or even execution. - I don't care.
If it means saving my friend.
Well done, Junior.
I'm proud of you.
Surprise!
I wish you could see your faces. Wait. You can.
We need to find the real people I attacked.
You just did. I was the Chokuzan you fired on.
- What kind of horrible joke...? - Not a joke. A test.
The pathetic exercises you had him doing would not impress the Continuum.
So when he escaped your clutches, I devised a real test.
It was touch and go there for a moment, but you passed with flying colours.
- What about Icheb? - He's made a miraculous recovery.
Now if we're all finished here, it's judgment day for Junior.
We're ready, Your Honour.
In the case of the Continuum versus Q,
we have found that Q has not made sufficient progress
to warrant the reinstatement of his powers.
- Objection. What about my test? - What about it?
He was willing to save his friend. Surely that counts for something.
Q endangered the boy's life.
However, in deference to the aforementioned act of contrition,
the defendant will not be transformed into an amoeba.
Instead, he will suffer the next worst fate -
remaining human.
Court is adjourned.
This is an outrage! They can't do this to me!
Come in.
Do you have a moment?
You offered to let me remain on Voyager.
I know I've made mistakes and you probably don't want me around.
But if it's all right with you, I'd like to continue my training.
But you have nothing left to prove to the Continuum.
But there's a lot I need to prove to you.
What about your father?
You don't believe we'll see him again, do you? He doesn't want me around.
Why else would he have left me here? Twice?
You should be asking why I keep coming back.
Now, I'm sorry I left so abruptly, but the verdict demanded an appeal.
I told them I refused to belong to any Continuum that wouldn't accept my son.
We're a package deal.
- You left the Continuum for me? - No. I'm holding that place together.
When they realised they might lose me, they crumbled like a sand sculpture.
- They'll return my powers? - They already have.
For you, Captain. For all your help.
Thank you.
Now that you're a Q again, I thought we'd spend some time together.
I want to show you the cosmos the way it was meant to be seen.
- We've tried that. - This time will be different. I promise.
Now run along. I'll meet you on Golos Prime.
After I've had a few moments with the captain.
- I'll see you soon, Aunt Kathy. - I hope so.
So, the Continuum crumbled like a sand sculpture?
Yes. Some of them even got on their knees and begged me to stay.
It was pathetic.
If you must know, I had to agree to a few minor conditions.
Such as?
Eternal custody of the boy. Wherever the brat goes, I go with him.
I hope he won't spoil too much of your fun.
Before I leave... I did a little homework for you.
Consider it a thank you for everything you did for Junior.
I appreciate it, but this will only take a few years off our journey.
Why not send us all the way?
What sort of example would I be setting for my son if I did all the work for you?