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(BOY) Five years ago, my dad left.
4
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:51,260
He said he loved me and my mom,
but he needed his own space.
5
00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:54,096
He took his secretary
along with him.
6
00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:59,560
He said he needed someone
to answer his phone calls.
7
00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:06,108
He promised to come visit me, but
he wasn't good at keeping promises.
8
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:19,246
My mom was really upset.
But I told her we still had each other,
9
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:23,917
and I'd look after her
as long as I lived.
10
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:30,757
We decided to start all over again.
11
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:35,012
A whole new life.
12
00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:46,064
We moved into a small
loft apartment downtown.
13
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:55,157
It was pretty gross at first.
14
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:59,578
But my mom turned it
into a home in no time.
15
00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:08,378
She even created a kind of garden
on the roof where I could play.
16
00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:23,602
After a while, she got over
my father leaving. I did, too.
17
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:30,400
Eventually, she started dating again.
But they were all jerks.
18
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:38,200
And they never lasted long.
19
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:45,457
Eventually, we would go back to the
way things were. Just the two of us.
20
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:50,045
I liked it that way.
21
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:55,175
We made a collage from things
we found on the beach
22
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,220
to take our minds
off what had happened.
23
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:01,974
We've been doing it now
for almost five years.
24
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:07,271
My mom says we'll finish it some day.
25
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:15,988
Then two weeks ago,
the worst thing happened:
\h
26
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:19,533
my mom told me she wanted
to get married again.
\h
27
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:24,580
Just when our lives are fine,
she does something like this.
\h
28
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:29,126
You'd think by now
she'd have learned a lesson.
\h
29
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:41,054
I don't care how old I get,
I'll never understand women.
30
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:50,731
The Federal Court of Washington is
in session. The defendant will rise.
31
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:56,570
Francis James Renda,
you have been found guilty
32
00:03:56,695 --> 00:04:01,200
of the crime of trafficking narcotics.
33
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:06,079
Do you have anything to say to this
court before sentence is passed?
34
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:12,920
Yes, your Honour. I want to thank
the prosecutor for giving me a fair trial.
35
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:17,591
I want him to know there's no hard
feelings, in spite of the outcome.
36
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:21,887
I wish him a lot of luck
in his future endeavours.
37
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:28,018
Your Honour, the prosecutor would like
to know if that remark was a threat.
38
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:32,189
The prosecutor has me all wrong,
your Honour.
39
00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:35,359
I'm a harmless old man.
I don't make threats.
40
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:41,573
That's good. For a moment there,
the prosecutor was really, really scared.
41
00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:45,035
- That'll do, Mr Sturges.
- Thank you, your Honour.
42
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:49,748
If you two gentlemen have finished,
I'd like to pronounce sentence.
43
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,708
Francis James Renda,
44
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:56,088
it's the court's judgement
you serve not less than 50 years
45
00:04:56,171 --> 00:05:00,551
in the Federal Correctional Institute
at Sheridan, Oregon.
46
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,678
This court is adjourned.
47
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:07,057
- We'll appeal.
- We'll appeal, huh?
48
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,726
Congratulations.
49
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,938
- You're the best!
- More garbage off the street.
50
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:16,984
Mr Renda, this way, please.
51
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:28,161
- That's done, we can go.
- Hey, Sturges.
52
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:34,042
You think you're pretty tough, huh?
Well, let me tell you something.
53
00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:36,795
You may be on top
of the situation now.
54
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:42,217
But things have a way of coming
around. Know what I mean?
55
00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:45,929
Well, Joey, if you're one
of those things that comes around,
56
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:50,350
I'm going to step on you like a bug.
Know what I mean?
57
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,193
Who was that guy?
58
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:02,321
- Frank's son, Joey.
- He looks dangerous.
59
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:05,449
They're just cheap hoods
in expensive suits.
60
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:08,327
We've got more important things
to talk about.
61
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,830
I'm gonna get this guy.
62
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:21,256
I thought I'd bring my stuff over
around noon tomorrow.
63
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:22,799
Sure.
64
00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:30,349
You have room for my used dental floss?
65
00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:32,684
We'll find room for it.
66
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:38,524
Been saving it since I was three.
There must be about 400 pounds now.
67
00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:43,987
- What did you say you were bringing?
- I just wanted to get your attention.
68
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:49,284
You've been distracted all day. Is it
because of the opening of your show?
69
00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:52,996
I've just been thinking
about you moving in.
70
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:58,168
- Are you having second thoughts?
- No. I want you to move in. It's Ben.
71
00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,629
What, it's Ben?
72
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:05,717
Wait a minute...
Ben doesn't want me to move in?
73
00:07:05,801 --> 00:07:09,471
I guess he's just not comfortable
with the idea yet.
74
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:14,643
If that's all, relax.
I knew Ben would have those feelings.
75
00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:21,108
So I got almost every book I could
find on step-parenting. I'm an expert!
76
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:26,780
- This is all about sex, isn't it?
- Please, Ben, I'm your mother!
77
00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:31,994
Don't pretend. I know women reach
their sexual peak in their thirties.
78
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:36,790
- Where did you pick that up?
- "Donahue".
79
00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:39,710
I'm getting rid of the television set.
80
00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:42,629
- Hey, how about this?
- Good one.
81
00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:45,883
Anyway, it's not just about the sex.
82
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:49,803
It'd be good for you to have
an adult male as a role model.
83
00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:54,641
What if he's like Dad
and splits with his secretary?
84
00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:59,396
He's not like your dad, and his
secretary is about 100 years old.
85
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:03,901
What if he's a serial killer
and tries to boil our heads in acid?
86
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:07,613
- You're stretching, Benjamin.
- That could happen.
87
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:11,033
This is just a trial period.
Jack's going to keep his apartment.
88
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:15,871
So if things don't work out,
he'll go back to his place.
89
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:20,626
And you and I will go back
to the way we were, OK?
90
00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:29,051
- Did you know he irons his jeans?
- And that makes him an axe murderer?
91
00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:32,930
I don't know that for sure.
92
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:38,519
But a compulsion like that generally
indicates a deeper psychosis.
93
00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:45,234
I heard it on "Geraldo".
94
00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:54,743
Look, Ben, I love Jack,
and I'd like to have a husband again.
95
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:58,121
But you're the most important man
in my life.
96
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:03,794
And if it doesn't work for you,
it doesn't work for me. OK?
97
00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:10,300
- OK?
- Yeah, OK.
98
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:16,223
But I still think he might try
to boil our heads in acid.
99
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:26,525
I knew it!
100
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:36,493
Let's see...Sturges...
101
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:43,375
Not in here. Doesn't mean
he's not a serial killer.
102
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:46,670
Just means
they haven't caught him yet.
103
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,510
Ben, can you give us a hand?
104
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:57,764
I've got a sore back. My doctor says
I shouldn't do any heavy lifting.
105
00:09:57,848 --> 00:10:02,519
Perhaps you can make some room
in the closet under the stairs?
106
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:06,940
But that's where we keep
the stuff we collect on the beach.
107
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:10,027
We can put it somewhere else.
108
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:14,948
- But it's important stuff!
- It'll be fine somewhere else.
109
00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:20,746
I'll just hold this. It's more
convenient if I need to get anything.
110
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:24,750
No, it's no trouble, is it, Benjamin?
111
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,878
No.
112
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:32,216
It's no trouble.
113
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:38,096
Thanks, Benny, I appreciate it!
114
00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:41,767
He's calling me "Benny" already.
115
00:10:47,231 --> 00:10:53,695
- He hates to be called "Benny".
- No "Benny"? Thanks, Ben!
116
00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:05,165
Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah
Someone's in the kitchen, I know
117
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:09,002
Someone's
in the kitchen with Dinah-ah-ah-ah
118
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:13,590
Jack? Come on, Jack. Are you
going to be in there all night?
119
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:18,971
Fee, fi, fiddly-i-oh
fee, fi, fiddly-i-oh-oh-oh
120
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:23,851
Fee-fi-fiddly-i-oh
121
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,812
Dinah, won't you blow
Dinah, won't you blow
122
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:30,148
Dinah, won't you bl...
Aw! Aw!
123
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:37,281
- What happened to the hot water?
- It's an old building. It cuts out.
124
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:47,124
Ben? I was showering.
I'm covered with soap. Can I come in?
125
00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:49,042
(SANDRA GIGGLES)
126
00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:54,089
- What are you doing?
- Ben locked me out of the bathroom.
127
00:11:54,173 --> 00:12:00,971
- Do you think he did it on purpose?
- Of course not. I'll get you a towel.
128
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:05,934
Yuck.
129
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:12,024
Wow. What is all this stuff?
130
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:21,450
What's wrong with this guy?
Is he decomposing or something?
131
00:12:26,038 --> 00:12:32,503
Allergy medicine... He smells bad
and he's a wimp. What a role model!
132
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:39,092
Hey, Mom, where's my toothpaste?
I can't find any of my stuff!
133
00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:45,390
Excuse me...
134
00:12:45,474 --> 00:12:50,687
- Do you guys have to do that?
- I can't resist a pretty girl.
135
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:55,984
- Know what I mean, buddy?
- I'm eleven. I hate girls.
136
00:12:56,693 --> 00:13:02,491
Oh, right. I used to be eleven myself.
I know exactly what you mean.
137
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:06,828
- Cooties, right?
- Yeah, right, cooties...
138
00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:10,123
Mom, I can't find my toothpaste.
All my stuff's gone.
139
00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:14,753
- I put it in the cabinet.
- What did you do that for?
140
00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:20,133
Jack's taller, so it makes sense for
his stuff to be in the medicine chest.
141
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:24,388
It's not going to kill you for your
toothpaste to be in the cabinet!
142
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:29,685
Don't give me that face!
We all have to make adjustments.
143
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:39,987
I'm the one
making all the adjustments.
144
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:47,536
I'm beat. I'm going to turn in.
See you in the morning, Benny.
145
00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:52,291
Oops, sorry. I meant Ben.
See you in the morning, Ben.
146
00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:02,384
Mom! Could I talk to you
for a minute, please?
147
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:09,183
Sorry. Ben said the thought
of us being in the same bed
148
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:12,769
would be psychologically damaging
to him.
149
00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:15,772
He actually said
"psychologically damaging"?
150
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:20,235
- He's a bright kid. He watches PBS.
- Me too, but I don't talk like that.
151
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:24,948
I think it'll be OK in a few days.
Let him get used to the situation.
152
00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:27,618
OK, OK.
153
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:32,915
- I'm glad I had that cold shower.
- Thank you.
154
00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:36,919
I knew you'd understand.
155
00:14:37,503 --> 00:14:41,048
Don't start anything you can't finish.
156
00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:45,427
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, sweetheart.
157
00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,488
This isn't so bad.
158
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,787
I can live with this.
159
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,666
This sucks.
160
00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:23,549
I'm never going to get any sleep.
161
00:15:37,229 --> 00:15:39,106
(CRIES OUT)
162
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,609
(MOANS)
163
00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:47,489
- Jack, what are you doing?
- A little late-night skateboarding.
164
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,660
- What's going on down there?
- Nothing.
165
00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:56,206
- I heard a noise. What was it?
- That was me.
166
00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:59,793
I was going to the bathroom
when I tripped.
167
00:15:59,877 --> 00:16:04,548
The bathroom's over there, Jack.
Have you forgotten already?
168
00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:10,971
Over here?
169
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,891
There it is!
170
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:18,145
I got my bearings back. Thanks.
171
00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:25,777
- Goodnight, Mother.
- Goodnight, sweetheart.
172
00:16:59,645 --> 00:17:02,773
(JACK HUMS TO HIMSELF)
173
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:35,514
- What are you doing?
- Good morning, Ben!
174
00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:39,476
I didn't sleep well, so I got up early
to make breakfast.
175
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:43,647
Do me a favour
and shut this stove off.
176
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:57,244
- What is all this stuff anyway?
- Eggs Benedict à la Sturges.
177
00:17:57,327 --> 00:17:59,413
Eggs what?
178
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:02,916
Poached eggs and ham
on English muffins.
179
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:07,671
Topped off with hollandaise sauce,
most of which is on the counter.
180
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:12,426
The "à la Sturges" part is...caviar.
181
00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:15,429
Does the word "cholesterol"
mean anything to you?
182
00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:19,683
I don't eat like this all the time.
It's sort of a celebration.
183
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:26,023
And how about the word "recycle"?
You put the eggshells with the paper.
184
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:30,277
Oh, I thought you had
just four different garbage cans.
185
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:35,949
Look. This one is for paper, this one
is for aluminium, this one for glass.
186
00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:40,329
And this one is for the organic
materials, like eggshells.
187
00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:43,790
I'll just put the eggshells over here.
188
00:18:43,874 --> 00:18:46,585
Something smells good.
189
00:18:47,753 --> 00:18:51,340
- What happened here?
- I made Eggs Benedict.
190
00:18:51,423 --> 00:18:55,594
Jack's trying to kill us with animal fat.
191
00:19:00,224 --> 00:19:05,479
Ben and I usually just have granola,
yoghurt and fruit in the morning.
192
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:10,108
OK, fine. I'll just dump this in
with the organic material
193
00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:13,987
and whip up some granola,
fruit and yoghurt.
194
00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:19,034
Don't bother. I'll just pick up
something on the way to school.
195
00:19:20,953 --> 00:19:24,790
- Ben, don't forget to...
- Goodbye, Mother.
196
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:35,133
We're not getting off to a good start.
197
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:40,597
Ben and I make breakfast together.
It's one of our routines.
198
00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:44,434
I'll just make a list
so this doesn't happen again.
199
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:46,103
Good idea.
200
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:04,705
Lot of help you've been.
201
00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:06,874
"Paper only."
202
00:20:16,842 --> 00:20:20,512
- Someone sure is hungry.
- Hey, Monroe, how are you doing?
203
00:20:20,679 --> 00:20:23,849
- Don't they feed you at home?
- I skipped breakfast.
204
00:20:24,016 --> 00:20:27,811
My mom's boyfriend took over
the kitchen and I walked out.
205
00:20:27,978 --> 00:20:31,064
I could've told you
that was gonna happen.
206
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:36,111
First they take over the bathroom and
the kitchen, then the sofa and the TV.
207
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:40,324
My advice to you is to get rid
of this guy. Immediately.
208
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:45,913
It's gonna be hard. Mom's in love,
she's not thinking clearly.
209
00:20:46,038 --> 00:20:49,875
I'm telling you, whatever you do,
you'd better do it soon.
210
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:55,756
The longer a mom lives with a guy,
the harder it is to get rid of them.
211
00:20:55,923 --> 00:20:57,758
(BANGING)
212
00:20:57,925 --> 00:21:01,720
Hello!
Can someone get me out of here?
213
00:21:03,472 --> 00:21:07,643
- Is somebody in there?
- Yeah, can you get me out of here?
214
00:21:07,726 --> 00:21:13,774
- What's the combination?
- 38-24-36.
215
00:21:19,238 --> 00:21:20,781
Hi!
216
00:21:22,574 --> 00:21:26,411
Thanks. Boy, it's tight in there.
217
00:21:26,578 --> 00:21:31,041
- I'm Norman Bronski, by the way.
- I'm Ben, and this is Monroe.
218
00:21:31,208 --> 00:21:33,585
What were you doing in your locker?
219
00:21:33,752 --> 00:21:36,922
You're supposed to lock it
from the outside.
220
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:40,008
Some big guys stuffed me in there.
221
00:21:40,092 --> 00:21:43,178
- Does that happen a lot?
- Every day.
222
00:21:43,262 --> 00:21:47,266
Maybe that dorky Indian get-up
has something to do with it.
223
00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:51,603
- Sure it does. I'm an Indian Guide.
- What's an Indian Guide?
224
00:21:51,728 --> 00:21:55,440
The YMCA Indian Guides foster
understanding
225
00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:58,652
and companionship
between father and son.
226
00:21:58,735 --> 00:22:03,073
Nice talking to you, Cochise,
but we gotta be going.
227
00:22:03,198 --> 00:22:06,785
Do the fathers have to dress
like Indians, too?
228
00:22:06,869 --> 00:22:11,540
Sure. My dad wears a huge headdress
with a lot of feathers on it.
229
00:22:11,623 --> 00:22:17,379
- Sounds real exciting. Let's go.
- How does one join this club, Norman?
230
00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:22,176
Here's everything you need to know.
We'd be glad for you to join us.
231
00:22:22,259 --> 00:22:25,512
Our tribe's always looking
for new members.
232
00:22:25,721 --> 00:22:28,807
Well, I gotta go. Nice meeting you guys.
233
00:22:29,016 --> 00:22:31,852
If you come by this way tomorrow,
234
00:22:32,019 --> 00:22:37,482
you might wanna check if I'm stuffed
in my locker again. So long.
235
00:22:37,608 --> 00:22:41,445
Are you crazy?
You wanna hang with a goof like that?
236
00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:45,699
Of course not. The whole thing
is strictly Twilight Zone.
237
00:22:45,782 --> 00:22:50,996
- But it could solve my problem.
- I don't get it.
238
00:22:57,044 --> 00:23:02,966
It says they eat nuts and berries.
Doesn't he get enough for breakfast?
239
00:23:03,050 --> 00:23:07,137
What? I didn't hear you.
240
00:23:07,221 --> 00:23:13,352
- Why does Ben want us to do this?
- So you could get to know each other.
241
00:23:13,435 --> 00:23:19,191
But, Sandy, these people sit around
making furry refrigerator magnets!
242
00:23:19,316 --> 00:23:23,612
What Indian tribe in all of history
ever made furry refrigerator magnets?
243
00:23:23,695 --> 00:23:28,492
I think the fact that Ben wants
to spend time with you is a good sign.
244
00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:32,079
- Don't you?
- Yes, I do.
245
00:23:32,246 --> 00:23:36,834
But can't he want to do something more
normal like joining Little League ?
246
00:23:36,917 --> 00:23:39,419
You know how kids are.
247
00:23:39,503 --> 00:23:44,675
This week it's Indian Guides,
next week it's roller hockey.
248
00:23:44,758 --> 00:23:49,972
Just give it a try!
I mean, how bad can it be?
249
00:23:50,055 --> 00:23:56,186
Pals forever, pals forever
That's our slogan, that's our song
250
00:23:56,270 --> 00:24:03,193
Boys are stronger, dads feel younger
When they take the boys along
251
00:24:03,569 --> 00:24:09,825
Moms are for it, dads adore it
And the boys all think it's fine
252
00:24:09,908 --> 00:24:15,914
Pals forever, pals forever
Indian guides will have good times
253
00:24:15,998 --> 00:24:18,917
Right! Excellent! Excellent!
254
00:24:19,084 --> 00:24:24,798
As chief of the Minotauk, it's my
pleasure to welcome two new members.
255
00:24:25,007 --> 00:24:30,095
Let's hear a very special Guide
welcome for Jack and Ben!
256
00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:33,640
Welcome!
257
00:24:35,017 --> 00:24:38,854
Hey-ha-wa-ya, Ben.
Hey-ha-wa-ya, Jack.
258
00:24:40,522 --> 00:24:43,025
Fine, thanks. How are you?
259
00:24:43,775 --> 00:24:47,529
No, Jack. "Hey-ha-wa-ya" is
the official greeting of the Minotauk.
260
00:24:47,613 --> 00:24:51,200
It's our way of saying
"Welcome, you're among friends."
261
00:24:51,366 --> 00:24:53,911
I feel comfortable already.
262
00:24:54,077 --> 00:24:59,291
That's good, because the point is
to relax and have a whole lot of fun.
263
00:25:01,502 --> 00:25:06,173
Silent Thunder has prepared
a little entertainment for tonight.
264
00:25:06,256 --> 00:25:09,092
Excuse me, Chief, point of order.
265
00:25:09,259 --> 00:25:13,347
I believe it's customary for new
members to pick names for each other?
266
00:25:13,430 --> 00:25:17,935
Of course. Once again, Silver Fox has
nailed the chief on a point of order.
267
00:25:18,018 --> 00:25:22,856
It's important to follow the rules
to set an example for the youngsters.
268
00:25:22,940 --> 00:25:28,820
Red's our tribal secretary.
He's memorised the entire manual.
269
00:25:28,904 --> 00:25:35,494
- It took me six months.
- Really? You must be very proud.
270
00:25:35,577 --> 00:25:41,500
Fathers and sons picking Indian names
for each other is an important ritual.
271
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:45,838
For example, I'm Running Horse,
and this is my son, Dark Eagle.
272
00:25:45,921 --> 00:25:51,927
- Oh, I see, they're all animal names.
- You got it. So you wanna go first?
273
00:25:52,010 --> 00:25:55,264
I warn you,
I'm not good at this kind of thing.
274
00:25:55,347 --> 00:26:00,143
- It's easy!
- Come on, Jack. How hard could it be?
275
00:26:00,227 --> 00:26:04,898
I have a list of pre-approved
Indian names, if it's any help.
276
00:26:04,982 --> 00:26:11,488
- Red, I think Jack can just wing it.
- If I'm just going to wing it...
277
00:26:11,572 --> 00:26:16,076
- How about Little Wing?
- Good name!
278
00:26:16,159 --> 00:26:21,999
Good song, too. Jimi Hendrix. I've got
the album. "Axis: Bold as Love".
279
00:26:22,082 --> 00:26:28,630
All right, guides, from now on,
Ben's new tribal name will be Little Wing.
280
00:26:29,756 --> 00:26:31,967
Fly on, Little Wing!
281
00:26:32,050 --> 00:26:38,849
OK, Ben, pick a name for Jack
that tells us how you feel about him.
282
00:26:38,932 --> 00:26:42,311
How about Squatting Dog?
283
00:26:43,228 --> 00:26:46,231
Squatting Dog?
That's the best you can come up with?
284
00:26:46,315 --> 00:26:52,696
I had a dog once who had a bad case
of the squirts. He was my best friend.
285
00:26:54,656 --> 00:26:59,703
- Did you have any other pets?
- I had a squirrel named Numbnuts.
286
00:27:02,122 --> 00:27:06,877
- I'll go with Squatting Dog.
- Good name. Funny name.
287
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:10,047
Minotauk appreciate a sense of humour.
288
00:27:10,214 --> 00:27:13,926
From now on, Jack's tribal name
will be Squatting Dog.
289
00:27:17,763 --> 00:27:21,517
All right, Silent Thunder,
the floor is yours.
290
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:25,729
All right!
291
00:27:28,607 --> 00:27:31,485
Lloyd's been preparing this all week.
292
00:27:34,613 --> 00:27:37,241
(LAUGHTER)
293
00:27:47,376 --> 00:27:49,545
(SNEEZES)
294
00:27:52,714 --> 00:27:56,844
- What's going on?
- Silent Thunder's a circus performer.
295
00:27:56,927 --> 00:28:02,099
He expresses himself without words.
He's pretty good at it, isn't he?
296
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:07,187
(SCRATCHY MUSIC)
297
00:28:08,939 --> 00:28:11,024
(FUNKY MUSIC)
298
00:28:11,191 --> 00:28:13,277
Don't speak, just move
299
00:28:16,613 --> 00:28:18,699
Don't speak, just move
300
00:28:25,372 --> 00:28:27,457
Don't speak, just move
301
00:28:31,128 --> 00:28:33,213
Don't speak, just move
302
00:28:38,468 --> 00:28:39,928
Don't stop now
303
00:28:40,971 --> 00:28:44,433
Bravo, Silent Thunder!
304
00:28:45,809 --> 00:28:48,687
Bravo, bravo.
305
00:28:48,896 --> 00:28:53,025
All right.
Very good, Silent Thunder. Very funny.
306
00:28:53,108 --> 00:28:58,488
Let the good times roll! Who's up
for a game of scrambled moccasins?
307
00:28:58,572 --> 00:29:01,867
- Point of order, Chief!
- Yes, Red?
308
00:29:01,950 --> 00:29:07,164
We played scrambled moccasins last
week, and since we decided to vary it,
309
00:29:07,247 --> 00:29:11,627
we should be on to either potato
bowling or pass the grapefruit.
310
00:29:11,752 --> 00:29:16,632
I could've sworn we played
scrambled birch bark last week.
311
00:29:16,715 --> 00:29:20,052
No, we made macaroni name tags.
312
00:29:20,135 --> 00:29:23,764
Mrs Silent Thunder served
chocolate cornbread and fruit punch.
313
00:29:23,847 --> 00:29:27,935
Running Horse gave an interesting
talk on why we have nasal hair.
314
00:29:28,101 --> 00:29:33,232
- And scrambled moccasins.
- OK, then.
315
00:29:33,315 --> 00:29:37,819
Guides, show your feathers.
Who's up for a game of potato bowling?
316
00:29:37,986 --> 00:29:39,780
Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi...
317
00:29:39,947 --> 00:29:43,534
Then let's get ready to rumba!
318
00:29:44,284 --> 00:29:50,332
As new members, you have
the honour of throwing the first spud.
319
00:29:58,882 --> 00:30:02,970
I tell you, Monroe.
Adults are so easy to figure out.
320
00:30:03,053 --> 00:30:07,099
As soon as I said I liked it,
he said he liked it.
321
00:30:07,182 --> 00:30:10,727
- But he hated it, right?
- Totally.
322
00:30:10,811 --> 00:30:14,523
We played this game
where you roll potatoes on the floor
323
00:30:14,690 --> 00:30:18,360
to see who could get them closest
to a circle on a newspaper.
324
00:30:18,527 --> 00:30:23,073
- How can you stand it, man?
- I won't have to much longer.
325
00:30:23,156 --> 00:30:28,912
There's a dopey camp-out Saturday.
We sleep in someone's back yard.
326
00:30:28,996 --> 00:30:35,002
I'll never understand why white people
like to sleep outside on the ground.
327
00:30:35,127 --> 00:30:41,508
I told Jack all the other fathers were
dressing up like authentic Indians.
328
00:30:41,592 --> 00:30:45,762
So he rented a complete costume
to show me how enthusiastic he is.
329
00:30:45,846 --> 00:30:49,808
- Are the other fathers dressing up?
- Of course not.
330
00:30:49,892 --> 00:30:52,895
- You are the devil, man.
- Yes!
331
00:30:55,689 --> 00:31:01,069
- When's the food ready?
- Juicy burgers coming up.
332
00:31:01,195 --> 00:31:05,741
- Can somebody give me a hand?
- Sure, I'll help you.
333
00:31:05,908 --> 00:31:08,410
Hey, Jack.
334
00:31:08,577 --> 00:31:12,873
Jack! Nice costume. Very authentic.
335
00:31:12,956 --> 00:31:17,920
But we usually don't dress up except
for really big special occasions.
336
00:31:18,045 --> 00:31:23,050
It's OK. I happened to have this
lying around in my closet anyway.
337
00:31:23,133 --> 00:31:29,097
Looks great, too. I'm going to fry up
the barbecue, but we'll talk later.
338
00:31:29,723 --> 00:31:34,478
Hey, Jack, you need to get your
face painted like everybody else.
339
00:31:35,771 --> 00:31:42,361
- You said the others would dress up.
- I misunderstood. Are you mad at me?
340
00:31:42,528 --> 00:31:46,323
No. Honest mistake, I guess.
341
00:31:46,490 --> 00:31:49,451
No harm, no foul.
342
00:31:50,410 --> 00:31:55,791
- What kind of paint is that?
- It's not paint, just watercolour.
343
00:31:55,874 --> 00:32:01,421
- Good. I've a tendency to break out.
- Don't worry. I checked the label.
344
00:32:01,505 --> 00:32:06,385
- You did? Thanks. That's thoughtful.
- No problem.
345
00:32:07,719 --> 00:32:12,474
Everybody, I got a great idea!
Let's have a grapefruit relay.
346
00:32:12,558 --> 00:32:16,436
- How about it, Jack?
- Yeah, I can't wait.
347
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:20,858
I could probably pop a round
into Sturges's skull from right here.
348
00:32:20,941 --> 00:32:23,819
- With what?
- The .38.
349
00:32:23,902 --> 00:32:27,364
Please! A .38 couldn't even
make it across the street.
350
00:32:27,447 --> 00:32:33,620
A .22 Super Speed will go through
his brain and into the next county.
351
00:32:33,704 --> 00:32:37,291
We gotta make this
look like an accident,
352
00:32:37,457 --> 00:32:40,127
so it don't come back on my old man.
353
00:32:40,210 --> 00:32:43,630
Forget the .38s and .22s!
354
00:32:43,714 --> 00:32:48,093
Think accidental death. Understand?
355
00:32:48,177 --> 00:32:52,681
OK, guides. All ready
for the big grapefruit relay?
356
00:32:52,806 --> 00:32:57,269
Down to the end of the yard and back.
Remember, the rule is,
357
00:32:57,352 --> 00:33:02,733
you can't touch your fruit
with your hands. On your marks...
358
00:33:02,816 --> 00:33:05,736
..get set...go!
359
00:33:06,570 --> 00:33:09,489
Jack, there's something
I want to talk to you about.
360
00:33:09,656 --> 00:33:11,950
Can't it wait?
361
00:33:12,117 --> 00:33:14,745
Not in front of the others.
362
00:33:14,912 --> 00:33:19,416
- Norman said you're not Ben's father.
- That's true, I'm not.
363
00:33:19,583 --> 00:33:24,922
- I hope we don't have to leave.
- No, no, not at all.
364
00:33:25,005 --> 00:33:28,133
Are you sure?
Maybe you'd better check with Red.
365
00:33:28,258 --> 00:33:32,429
What I'm trying to say is
I'm not Norman's father either.
366
00:33:33,347 --> 00:33:37,601
It broke open on me.
I'm getting juice down my chest.
367
00:33:37,684 --> 00:33:39,811
No hands!
368
00:33:39,895 --> 00:33:43,273
I think I know
what you're going through with Ben.
369
00:33:45,567 --> 00:33:49,696
So if you ever need advice or anything...
370
00:33:50,239 --> 00:33:53,367
I really appreciate it.
371
00:33:53,450 --> 00:33:57,204
But I think I'm doing fine on my own.
372
00:33:57,287 --> 00:34:01,041
OK, but if you ever want to talk,
I'm there.
373
00:34:10,008 --> 00:34:12,052
It can't get any worse than this.
374
00:34:12,219 --> 00:34:18,433
The attorney's appearance indicates
a complete lack of respect for our case.
375
00:34:18,517 --> 00:34:23,355
- I move for a mistrial.
- I'll take that under advisement.
376
00:34:23,438 --> 00:34:26,567
Mr Sturges,
would you care to comment?
377
00:34:26,650 --> 00:34:31,363
Your Honour, I meant absolutely
no disrespect to the plaintiff.
378
00:34:31,446 --> 00:34:36,660
- Leonard, this is just a rash.
- It looks a lot like war paint, Jack.
379
00:34:36,743 --> 00:34:41,999
Although the "Happy Face" is not
technically a native symbol.
380
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,460
War paint, Jack?
381
00:34:45,544 --> 00:34:49,256
The Salish Indian tribe sues
the government over land rights,
382
00:34:49,464 --> 00:34:51,967
and you show up in war paint!
383
00:34:52,050 --> 00:34:55,762
Good God. This is the 90s. Haven't you
heard of political correctness?
384
00:34:55,971 --> 00:34:57,347
Of course I have.
385
00:34:57,431 --> 00:35:03,604
This is a very sensitive issue for us,
so I'll have to take you off the case.
386
00:35:03,687 --> 00:35:09,109
Come on, Bob, this rash will go away
in 24 hours. I can get a continuance.
387
00:35:09,193 --> 00:35:13,989
It's not just the rash,
it's your behaviour in general.
388
00:35:14,072 --> 00:35:16,742
You cancel meetings, you're unprepared.
389
00:35:16,909 --> 00:35:23,248
- I'm sorry. I explained that to you.
- The Indian thing with the stepson.
390
00:35:23,415 --> 00:35:27,085
It's taking a lot more time
than I thought it would.
391
00:35:27,169 --> 00:35:30,714
I can understand and I can sympathise,
392
00:35:30,923 --> 00:35:34,343
but frankly, I don't care!
393
00:35:34,426 --> 00:35:37,554
We have an important job
to do here, Jack.
394
00:35:37,638 --> 00:35:42,643
I suggest you get your priorities
in order. Am I making myself understood?
395
00:35:46,230 --> 00:35:49,274
I've worked in the Attorney's office
for 15 years
396
00:35:49,358 --> 00:35:53,111
and I've never been taken off a case
till this morning.
397
00:35:53,195 --> 00:35:57,824
I'm sorry, but this Indian Guide
thing's just not working.
398
00:35:57,908 --> 00:36:03,121
- Couldn't you give it another chance?
- I can't do it, Sandy.
399
00:36:03,205 --> 00:36:05,832
It's interfering with my work.
400
00:36:05,999 --> 00:36:10,629
I can either be a US Attorney
or an Indian Guide's father.
401
00:36:10,712 --> 00:36:14,049
I can't be both.
You do see my point, don't you?
402
00:36:14,174 --> 00:36:18,470
I suppose so, I just don't know
how I'm going to tell Ben.
403
00:36:18,554 --> 00:36:22,182
Nobody has to tell me anything.
I heard the whole thing.
404
00:36:22,266 --> 00:36:27,646
I knew it. Just when I was beginning
to have fun, he wants to quit.
405
00:36:27,729 --> 00:36:31,900
Look, there's lots of other things
you and Jack can do together.
406
00:36:31,984 --> 00:36:34,778
We can go
to baseball games, movies...
407
00:36:34,945 --> 00:36:41,034
Till you get tired of them and quit.
I told you he'd be just like Dad.
408
00:36:45,831 --> 00:36:48,959
I was afraid something like this
was going to happen.
409
00:36:49,042 --> 00:36:53,964
Don't you think he's overreacting?
This is just about the stupid Guides.
410
00:36:54,047 --> 00:36:59,720
No, it's not just about that. I told you
this would be difficult for Ben.
411
00:36:59,803 --> 00:37:05,017
You said, "Don't worry, I'm an expert.
I've got books on this subject."
412
00:37:05,142 --> 00:37:10,606
- I'm doing the best I can!
- It doesn't seem to be good enough.
413
00:37:14,318 --> 00:37:19,114
- What's that supposed to mean?
- It means...
414
00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:24,286
It means...I don't know.
415
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:29,291
Maybe I made a mistake.
Maybe this is all happening too soon.
416
00:37:29,374 --> 00:37:35,214
Maybe I should wait till Ben is older
and able to handle this better.
417
00:37:35,339 --> 00:37:39,426
Maybe we'd all be able
to handle it better.
418
00:38:05,369 --> 00:38:11,625
You really think you made a mistake?
If you do, I'll move back to my place.
419
00:38:11,834 --> 00:38:14,294
I wanted everything to work out.
420
00:38:14,461 --> 00:38:18,590
I wanted the three of us
to become a family.
421
00:38:26,056 --> 00:38:29,351
Well, I want that, too.
422
00:38:29,434 --> 00:38:34,106
So I'll just have to rearrange my schedule
so I can be an attorney
423
00:38:34,189 --> 00:38:38,360
and an Indian Guide father.
424
00:38:38,443 --> 00:38:40,445
Are you sure?
425
00:38:42,948 --> 00:38:48,954
If Chet Bronski, Red Sweeney and that
circus guy can do it, I can do it.
426
00:38:52,249 --> 00:38:56,920
I'd better go upstairs and apologise
and eat a little you-know-what.
427
00:39:03,635 --> 00:39:07,389
I did it, Monroe!
I think I broke the love bubble.
428
00:39:07,472 --> 00:39:12,603
I don't know how much longer I could
have put up with those Indian geeks.
429
00:39:12,686 --> 00:39:16,940
He quit, and I went
into my "upset child" act.
430
00:39:17,024 --> 00:39:22,571
They started to fight and she told him
she should to wait till I was older.
431
00:39:22,654 --> 00:39:26,825
The guy is history. I figure he'll be
back in Tacoma by tomorrow.
432
00:39:39,379 --> 00:39:42,049
- Did you speak to him?
- What?
433
00:39:42,132 --> 00:39:48,305
- Did you speak to him?
- Oh. No, he was on the phone.
434
00:39:48,388 --> 00:39:53,602
I've got a lot of work to do.
I'll talk to him in the morning.
435
00:40:42,734 --> 00:40:46,905
Chet? Sorry, did I scare you?
I'm sorry.
436
00:40:48,448 --> 00:40:53,954
- They told me you'd be down here.
- Yes, this is my classroom. 15 years.
437
00:40:56,498 --> 00:40:58,333
Adrenalin.
438
00:40:58,500 --> 00:41:02,754
So what brings you around? Want
to make a spice rack for your mom?
439
00:41:02,921 --> 00:41:05,674
No, no, no, no.
440
00:41:05,757 --> 00:41:11,847
The thing that is...I drive by here
every morning on my way to work,
441
00:41:11,930 --> 00:41:14,850
and I thought maybe, you know...
442
00:41:14,933 --> 00:41:20,939
I just thought I might drop by.
Say, this is nice. What is it?
443
00:41:21,023 --> 00:41:26,695
- That's what we call a hammer.
- Oh, of course.
444
00:41:26,862 --> 00:41:30,741
Does it take you this long
to get to the point in court?
445
00:41:30,824 --> 00:41:36,580
Actually, addressing a jury is a lot
easier. I need to ask your advice.
446
00:41:37,539 --> 00:41:41,543
It's amazing how hard it is for guys
to ask each other for anything.
447
00:41:41,710 --> 00:41:45,339
- You got that right.
- But we're members of the same tribe.
448
00:41:45,506 --> 00:41:46,882
The Minotauk.
449
00:41:46,965 --> 00:41:52,095
No, the emotionally-constipated male
over 40. What can I help you with?
450
00:41:52,262 --> 00:41:54,681
It's Ben.
451
00:41:54,848 --> 00:41:59,520
He's doing everything he can to get
rid of me. I think he hates my guts.
452
00:41:59,686 --> 00:42:05,692
No, he doesn't hate your guts.
He's just scared.
453
00:42:05,776 --> 00:42:11,698
Scared you're gonna take away the most
important thing in his life: his mom.
454
00:42:13,283 --> 00:42:17,871
Norman did the very same thing to me.
Tried to get rid of me for months.
455
00:42:17,955 --> 00:42:22,125
Well, what did you do?
You seem to have a great relationship.
456
00:42:22,209 --> 00:42:25,629
I just kept at it and at it and at it.
457
00:42:25,796 --> 00:42:28,757
The Indian Guides helped a lot, actually.
458
00:42:28,841 --> 00:42:33,178
- The Indian Guides helped? How?
- By levelling the playing field.
459
00:42:33,262 --> 00:42:37,182
One of the best ways to reach a kid
is being a kid yourself.
460
00:42:37,349 --> 00:42:40,561
I just thought it'd be a lot easier.
461
00:42:40,727 --> 00:42:44,731
Raising kids is one of the most
difficult things in the world.
462
00:42:44,898 --> 00:42:48,402
But in the end, it's worth it, believe me.
463
00:42:50,487 --> 00:42:53,323
You know, Chet, it's funny.
464
00:42:53,407 --> 00:42:58,829
I can stand up to the toughest hoods
in the country. Doesn't faze me.
465
00:42:58,912 --> 00:43:02,875
But an 11-year-old kid,
that's really scary.
466
00:43:02,958 --> 00:43:07,337
- Welcome to the club, Jack.
- Thanks, Chet.
467
00:43:09,756 --> 00:43:11,175
Hit the road, Jack
468
00:43:11,341 --> 00:43:15,095
Don't you come back no more,
no more, no more, no more
469
00:43:15,304 --> 00:43:20,642
Hit the road, Jack
and don't you come back no more
470
00:43:20,809 --> 00:43:22,394
Hit the road, Jack
471
00:43:22,603 --> 00:43:27,107
Don't you come back no more,
no more, no more, no more...
472
00:43:28,483 --> 00:43:32,362
Ben, Ben, one of the great men!
We've been waiting for you.
473
00:43:32,529 --> 00:43:36,909
What's going on? What are you doing
here? I thought you were leaving.
474
00:43:37,075 --> 00:43:39,077
Why would I leave? I live here.
475
00:43:39,161 --> 00:43:43,165
Jack's decided not to quit the
Indian Guides. Isn't that wonderful?
476
00:43:43,332 --> 00:43:46,084
- You're kidding.
- Absolutely not.
477
00:43:46,251 --> 00:43:48,837
To prove it,
I'd like you to meet someone.
478
00:43:49,004 --> 00:43:54,801
Ben, this is Leonard Red Crow.
Leonard, meet Ben.
479
00:43:56,762 --> 00:44:01,266
- How.
- Excuse me, did you just say "How"?
480
00:44:02,351 --> 00:44:06,063
Just kidding. I always like to say that.
It makes people laugh.
481
00:44:06,230 --> 00:44:09,274
Leonard's the chief of the Salish tribe.
482
00:44:09,483 --> 00:44:14,905
I've asked him to help make the
Minotauk the best Indian Guide tribe.
483
00:44:15,030 --> 00:44:18,033
- Great.
- I knew you'd be thrilled.
484
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:23,664
Teaching values and skills to children
is an important part of Indian life.
485
00:44:23,747 --> 00:44:28,502
Besides, I could use the beads
and trinkets Jack offered me.
486
00:44:29,253 --> 00:44:33,841
I'm just kidding again. You're going
to have to learn to loosen up.
487
00:44:35,384 --> 00:44:38,846
Leonard's going to teach us a rain dance.
488
00:44:39,012 --> 00:44:42,224
A rain dance? This is Seattle,
what's the point of that?
489
00:44:42,307 --> 00:44:46,645
Who do you think is responsible
for all the rain?
490
00:44:51,108 --> 00:44:53,694
(FUNKY MUSIC)
491
00:44:58,657 --> 00:45:00,117
Gimme the music
492
00:45:02,911 --> 00:45:04,371
Gimme the music
493
00:45:05,873 --> 00:45:09,751
Everybody, dance now
494
00:45:14,173 --> 00:45:17,009
Everybody, dance now
495
00:45:17,176 --> 00:45:22,514
Yeah, yeah, yeah
496
00:45:22,639 --> 00:45:25,350
Everybody, dance now
497
00:45:25,517 --> 00:45:30,189
Yeah, yeah, yeah
498
00:45:30,898 --> 00:45:32,774
Everybody
499
00:45:33,150 --> 00:45:35,027
(RAP MUSIC)
500
00:45:35,110 --> 00:45:38,906
The jam is alive
and I don't waste time
501
00:45:39,072 --> 00:45:41,825
Jump to the rhythm,
Jump, jump, jump
502
00:45:41,992 --> 00:45:44,036
And I am here to provide
beats 'n' lyrics
503
00:45:44,203 --> 00:45:46,538
To make you shake your pants
Take a chance
504
00:45:46,705 --> 00:45:49,875
Come on and dance,
Guys grab a girl, make her twirl
505
00:45:50,042 --> 00:45:52,377
It's your world
and I'm just a squirrel
506
00:45:52,544 --> 00:45:54,713
Tryin' to get a nut
to move your butt
507
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:56,423
Use the dance floor
508
00:45:56,590 --> 00:45:58,634
Put your hands in the air
Come on, say yeah
509
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:00,469
Everybody, over here
Everybody, over there
510
00:46:00,636 --> 00:46:02,513
The crowd's alive
and I'm doing this too
511
00:46:02,679 --> 00:46:06,225
Party people
in the house, move
512
00:46:06,391 --> 00:46:08,519
Move
513
00:46:09,978 --> 00:46:14,650
Come on, let's dance, baby
514
00:46:14,816 --> 00:46:18,946
Let the music take control
Let the rhythm move you
515
00:46:19,112 --> 00:46:23,075
Dance, dance
516
00:46:23,242 --> 00:46:27,454
Let the music take control
Let the rhythm move you
517
00:46:31,750 --> 00:46:33,710
Everybody, dance now
518
00:46:42,344 --> 00:46:46,181
Pause, take a breath
Now hit the dance floor
519
00:46:46,765 --> 00:46:48,642
It's gonna make you sweat
till you bleed
520
00:46:48,809 --> 00:46:50,435
If that's open up indeed
521
00:46:50,602 --> 00:46:53,856
The dice are more precise
to the point
522
00:46:54,022 --> 00:46:56,650
The music takes control
of your heart and soul
523
00:46:56,817 --> 00:47:01,196
Your body is free
Dance till you can't dance no more
524
00:47:01,363 --> 00:47:04,324
Get on the floor
then come back up
525
00:47:04,491 --> 00:47:08,161
Easy now
Let me see you move
526
00:47:09,454 --> 00:47:10,831
Move
527
00:47:13,458 --> 00:47:15,627
The music is my life
528
00:47:18,172 --> 00:47:21,842
Everybody, dance now
529
00:47:22,009 --> 00:47:26,054
Everybody, come on, let's sway
530
00:47:26,221 --> 00:47:30,142
Baby, let the music take control
531
00:47:30,309 --> 00:47:34,438
Let the rhythm move you
Sway
532
00:47:34,605 --> 00:47:36,440
Sway
533
00:47:36,607 --> 00:47:40,777
Let the music take your soul
Let the rhythm move you
534
00:47:40,944 --> 00:47:45,407
Da-da-da-da-da...
535
00:47:51,038 --> 00:47:55,751
Hey, can you believe that? We did it!
536
00:47:57,127 --> 00:48:00,422
(CHEERING)
537
00:48:19,566 --> 00:48:21,735
Ben? "Hard Copy" is on.
538
00:48:23,070 --> 00:48:25,697
Ben? Are you awake?
539
00:48:25,781 --> 00:48:28,909
I guess he's not coming.
540
00:48:30,077 --> 00:48:34,331
He's exhausted.
I don't blame him, I'm tired, too.
541
00:48:34,414 --> 00:48:38,585
Yeah, you should get to bed
early tonight. In fact...
542
00:48:44,132 --> 00:48:49,721
- In fact, you can go to bed right now.
- I can't. I have so much work to do.
543
00:48:49,805 --> 00:48:54,852
We haven't been alone
in such a long time.
544
00:48:55,060 --> 00:48:57,271
It'll only take a couple of hours.
545
00:48:57,354 --> 00:48:59,147
OK.
546
00:48:59,606 --> 00:49:02,526
I'll be right back.
547
00:49:30,762 --> 00:49:34,933
- Come on, Jack, do I have to?
- I thought you liked Norm.
548
00:49:35,017 --> 00:49:39,062
- Yeah, he's OK, I guess.
- So what's the problem?
549
00:49:39,146 --> 00:49:45,027
Seeing him for Guides is one thing.
Having him sleep over is different.
550
00:49:45,110 --> 00:49:49,281
Look, Norm's dad told me
he doesn't have a lot of friends,
551
00:49:49,364 --> 00:49:53,577
and I thought this could be a nice
gesture, so do me this one favour.
552
00:49:53,660 --> 00:49:57,706
Hanging out with a guy like that
won't do much for my reputation.
553
00:49:57,789 --> 00:50:01,877
Yeah, we wouldn't want it getting
around what a nice guy you are.
554
00:50:02,044 --> 00:50:04,796
All right, I'll do it.
555
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:08,342
- But just this once, OK?
- Good.
556
00:50:08,509 --> 00:50:13,138
To make it really special, I even got
you guys an authentic Indian tepee.
557
00:50:13,305 --> 00:50:18,936
- Chet's setting it up this afternoon.
- He's gonna set up a tepee? Where?
558
00:50:35,494 --> 00:50:39,081
It was nice of you to invite me
to sleep over, Ben.
559
00:50:39,248 --> 00:50:42,751
Yeah, sure, no sweat. Glad to do it.
560
00:50:42,835 --> 00:50:46,672
It's the first time I've been invited
to sleep over at someone's house.
561
00:50:46,755 --> 00:50:50,175
It's no big deal, Norm.
Don't worry about it.
562
00:50:56,473 --> 00:50:59,601
I brought you something.
563
00:51:01,812 --> 00:51:04,189
This is for me?
564
00:51:05,315 --> 00:51:11,530
- It must have cost you a fortune!
- Not really. I made it myself.
565
00:51:11,613 --> 00:51:15,075
This beadwork must have taken forever.
566
00:51:15,325 --> 00:51:19,746
Well, I haven't much else
to do with my time.
567
00:51:20,998 --> 00:51:23,959
And I thought you might want to have it.
568
00:51:24,042 --> 00:51:26,461
I gotta be honest with you, Norm.
569
00:51:26,628 --> 00:51:30,465
I don't understand
why you do something like this.
570
00:51:30,549 --> 00:51:36,513
Because I wanted to. We're part
of the same tribe and everything.
571
00:51:36,597 --> 00:51:41,643
If you don't like it, you can tell me.
My feelings won't get hurt.
572
00:51:45,022 --> 00:51:49,735
I like it very much, Norm. Thanks.
573
00:51:51,862 --> 00:51:56,950
You know what? I got an idea.
You wanna play some video games?
574
00:51:57,075 --> 00:52:00,037
- Would I ever!
- Let's do it.
575
00:52:00,162 --> 00:52:05,626
I just got "Subhumanoid Slaughterhouse
5000". It's cool, but it's hard.
576
00:52:05,709 --> 00:52:10,923
I didn't know it had come out yet.
I'm still playing on the "2000".
577
00:52:11,006 --> 00:52:13,342
"2000" is for wimps.
"5000" is way better.
578
00:52:13,467 --> 00:52:18,514
When you kill Gakmo, the commander,
his head explodes like a gigantic zit.
579
00:52:18,597 --> 00:52:20,224
Cool!
580
00:52:20,307 --> 00:52:23,101
But you gotta watch out for Douglas,
the vampire troll.
581
00:52:23,268 --> 00:52:28,982
He's got these plasma rockets that
can melt your skin off. It's the best.
582
00:52:39,326 --> 00:52:41,537
Hey, Monroe!
583
00:52:43,330 --> 00:52:48,168
- What are you wearing?
- An Indian vest. What's it look like?
584
00:52:48,252 --> 00:52:52,798
It looks like Gakmo the subhumanoid's
head exploded all over your shirt.
585
00:52:52,881 --> 00:52:57,594
- What are those things all over it?
- They happen to be real Indian beads.
586
00:52:57,678 --> 00:53:01,849
Don't you think you're getting
a little heavy with this Indian thing?
587
00:53:01,932 --> 00:53:05,477
You know, I knew you were
going to get on my case.
588
00:53:05,561 --> 00:53:10,566
But it's not as bad as we thought.
I've learnt a lot of cool stuff.
589
00:53:10,649 --> 00:53:15,028
For instance, do you know how to shoot
a bow and arrow or throw a tomahawk?
590
00:53:15,112 --> 00:53:17,865
- No.
- Well, I do.
591
00:53:17,948 --> 00:53:21,618
That should come in real handy
next time you go buffalo hunting.
592
00:53:21,702 --> 00:53:24,162
Next weekend,
we're going on a canoe trip.
593
00:53:24,329 --> 00:53:28,083
We'll go over white water rapids.
It's gonna be great.
594
00:53:28,166 --> 00:53:33,005
- Gee, sorry I can't come.
- Nice Indian beads, buddy (!)
595
00:53:33,088 --> 00:53:34,673
What's with the vest?
596
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:37,926
Can I join your Indian club too,
please (?)
597
00:53:38,010 --> 00:53:42,181
Looks like Chingach-dork is getting
shoved into his locker again.
598
00:53:42,264 --> 00:53:45,934
See what dressing up
like an Indian gets you?
599
00:53:47,269 --> 00:53:52,191
- Hey, where are you going?
- I'm going to help him out.
600
00:53:52,274 --> 00:53:58,030
- Hey! What do you think you're doing?
- Talking to us, punk?
601
00:53:58,113 --> 00:54:00,699
I can't watch this.
602
00:54:00,782 --> 00:54:04,620
Let him go,
or face the consequences.
603
00:54:07,456 --> 00:54:10,417
(KARATE NOISES)
604
00:54:17,132 --> 00:54:21,220
Sorry about that, Norm.
I thought it'd work.
605
00:54:21,428 --> 00:54:24,264
That's OK, Ben.
I appreciate the effort.
606
00:54:24,348 --> 00:54:28,352
You know, it's not so bad in here.
It's kind of peaceful.
607
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:32,523
Yeah, it's amazing
how you get used to it after a while.
608
00:54:32,606 --> 00:54:36,276
Hello, is anybody out there?
609
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:39,196
Can someone please help us?
610
00:54:56,964 --> 00:55:03,011
Ready for the big canoe trip?
We're going over white water rapids!
611
00:55:03,095 --> 00:55:08,600
Some of us might fall out!
Be torn to bits by man-eating salmon!
612
00:55:08,684 --> 00:55:12,062
As soon as Jack gets here, we're vapour.
613
00:55:12,271 --> 00:55:15,357
So, did Jack mention
when he was going to be here?
614
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:20,279
He had to finish some work, but he
promised he'd be here by noon.
615
00:55:20,404 --> 00:55:23,532
If he promised, then he'll be here.
616
00:55:28,620 --> 00:55:31,915
Oh, great, I'm going to be late.
I can't be late!
617
00:55:38,922 --> 00:55:41,008
This is it!
618
00:55:42,467 --> 00:55:45,262
What's going on here?
My brakes are out!
619
00:55:45,387 --> 00:55:48,932
Bye-bye, Sturges! Have a nice life!
620
00:55:57,149 --> 00:55:59,276
Ooh!
621
00:56:02,905 --> 00:56:05,407
- Whoa!
- Watch it!
622
00:56:15,709 --> 00:56:17,419
Oh, no!
623
00:56:29,932 --> 00:56:32,059
No brakes! Sorry, no brakes!
624
00:56:45,948 --> 00:56:49,076
- Hey, what happened?
- Did you see that?
625
00:56:49,159 --> 00:56:51,537
Come on, follow me!
626
00:56:52,996 --> 00:56:56,583
What happened over here?
Come on, buddy, move it!
627
00:57:02,047 --> 00:57:05,759
- I don't believe it!
- He should be dead by now.
628
00:57:05,843 --> 00:57:09,513
Don't worry about it.
It was an unlucky break.
629
00:57:09,596 --> 00:57:12,516
We'll get another chance.
630
00:57:12,683 --> 00:57:17,062
Let's get out of here
before somebody sees us.
631
00:57:21,233 --> 00:57:23,902
Over here, over here.
632
00:57:27,865 --> 00:57:32,119
It's already 12.47.
We should get going. Time's a-wasting.
633
00:57:32,202 --> 00:57:37,040
I was sure Jack would be here by now.
I wonder what happened?
634
00:57:39,501 --> 00:57:43,255
Yeah, you're right. Poor Ben.
635
00:57:45,799 --> 00:57:51,013
Someone's going to have to tell him.
Either one of you guys want to do it?
636
00:57:53,182 --> 00:57:58,729
Cowards. OK, guys, time to go.
Let's load up.
637
00:58:02,733 --> 00:58:07,696
Listen, Ben, Red won't let us wait
any longer for Jack.
638
00:58:07,779 --> 00:58:11,950
Oh. Sure, Mr Bronski. I understand.
639
00:58:12,784 --> 00:58:17,122
Jack has a very important job.
It's not like me or Lloyd or Red.
640
00:58:17,206 --> 00:58:22,127
So I'm sure whatever is keeping him
has got to be pretty important, too.
641
00:58:25,380 --> 00:58:30,719
Hey, you want to come along with us?
Norm and I'll do all the paddling!
642
00:58:30,802 --> 00:58:35,974
No thanks, Mr Bronski.
I don't feel much like going anyway.
643
00:58:37,017 --> 00:58:39,770
- You sure?
- Absolutely.
644
00:58:39,853 --> 00:58:45,067
You guys go ahead and have
a great time. I'll be OK.
645
00:58:50,739 --> 00:58:54,159
Hey, Ben? Hey-ha-wa-ya.
646
00:59:42,833 --> 00:59:47,296
Hi, honey. What are you doing back
so early? Where's Jack?
647
00:59:47,379 --> 00:59:50,299
He didn't show up.
648
00:59:50,424 --> 00:59:53,677
What do you mean he didn't show up?
What happened?
649
00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:56,513
He promised he'd be there,
but he never showed up.
650
00:59:56,722 --> 01:00:00,309
So the other guys went on without me.
651
01:00:00,392 --> 01:00:04,855
Oh, baby, I'm so sorry,
but I'm sure there's an explanation.
652
01:00:04,938 --> 01:00:11,069
- He found something better to do.
- No, I know he wouldn't do that.
653
01:00:12,988 --> 01:00:17,659
Just like you knew Dad wouldn't
do anything like that?
654
01:00:18,410 --> 01:00:21,830
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
655
01:00:30,589 --> 01:00:35,928
- Oh, my God, what happened to you?
- I got caught in a sudden downpour.
656
01:00:36,011 --> 01:00:40,641
- When was it raining?
- I'll tell you about it later.
657
01:00:40,724 --> 01:00:45,312
- I need to talk to Ben first.
- I'll get you a towel.
658
01:00:56,114 --> 01:00:59,701
I'm really sorry
I missed the canoe trip, Ben.
659
01:00:59,785 --> 01:01:05,290
I had car trouble
and I just couldn't make it.
660
01:01:06,792 --> 01:01:09,920
Don't worry about it.
661
01:01:12,548 --> 01:01:16,260
I wanted to be there, Ben! I really did!
662
01:01:29,231 --> 01:01:34,278
Could you get out of the chair
with your wet clothes, please?
663
01:01:34,361 --> 01:01:39,032
- He's really taking this hard.
- He was looking forward to this trip.
664
01:01:39,116 --> 01:01:41,827
And he was counting on you to be there.
665
01:01:42,035 --> 01:01:45,330
Believe me,
what happened was unavoidable.
666
01:01:45,414 --> 01:01:50,919
I'm sure it was. But without meaning to,
you broke a promise to him,
667
01:01:51,003 --> 01:01:54,715
which unfortunately is something
his father used to do all the time.
668
01:01:58,177 --> 01:02:03,599
- I guess I have to pay for that.
- It goes with the territory.
669
01:02:06,185 --> 01:02:10,731
- I'll go talk to him.
- No, wait a minute. I'll do it.
670
01:02:11,273 --> 01:02:13,358
(TAP ON DOOR)
671
01:02:15,903 --> 01:02:21,325
- Ben, can I talk to you for a sec?
- Yeah, sure. Do what you want.
672
01:02:21,867 --> 01:02:28,540
I know you're mad at me, and there's
no reason for you to believe me.
673
01:02:28,624 --> 01:02:32,836
But I'm going to make this up to you.
I swear.
674
01:02:33,295 --> 01:02:38,967
- You know the July 4th camping trip?
- Yeah, what about it?
675
01:02:39,051 --> 01:02:43,096
I give you my word
nothing's going to interfere with it.
676
01:02:43,180 --> 01:02:49,019
We're going to go and have the best
time we ever had. OK? I promise.
677
01:02:49,186 --> 01:02:53,690
- Yeah, sure.
- OK, good.
678
01:03:16,046 --> 01:03:20,092
It looks like your hunch was right,
Jack. That was no accident you had.
679
01:03:20,175 --> 01:03:23,220
According to the police,
your brake lines were cut.
680
01:03:23,387 --> 01:03:26,098
Somebody wants you dead.
681
01:03:26,306 --> 01:03:31,645
It'd be a good idea if we transfer you
to the Portland office for a while.
682
01:03:31,728 --> 01:03:36,483
Until we find out who's behind this.
I'll put the Feds on it right away.
683
01:03:36,567 --> 01:03:39,653
We'll have it wrapped up
by the end of July.
684
01:03:39,862 --> 01:03:43,240
End of July? Forget it, Bob. Can't do it.
685
01:03:43,323 --> 01:03:45,993
- Excuse me?
- Can't do it, Bob.
686
01:03:46,118 --> 01:03:51,123
What do you mean? This isn't
a negotiation, it's an order.
687
01:03:51,331 --> 01:03:57,296
Well, then, you can fire me, or I'll quit.
688
01:03:58,922 --> 01:04:03,844
Either way, I'm not going to Portland.
I have more important things to do.
689
01:04:03,927 --> 01:04:07,306
Do you mind telling me what's
more important than staying alive?
690
01:04:07,389 --> 01:04:12,352
Right now...a camping trip with Ben.
691
01:04:19,151 --> 01:04:22,237
- How about a sing-along?
- What do you wanna sing?
692
01:04:22,321 --> 01:04:27,784
- Why not "Louie, Louie"?
- I believe that's "Louie, Lou-eye".
693
01:04:27,868 --> 01:04:33,582
- And the boys won't know the lyrics.
- That's the great thing. Nobody does.
694
01:04:33,665 --> 01:04:39,546
- You can mumble anything you want.
- Who needs words anyway, right, Dad?
695
01:04:39,713 --> 01:04:41,089
(LLOYD WHISTLES)
696
01:04:41,256 --> 01:04:43,050
What do you say? Take it!
697
01:04:43,175 --> 01:04:48,263
(EVERYBODY AD-LIBS
"LOUIE-LOUIE")
698
01:04:51,517 --> 01:04:55,229
Da-da-da-da-da
699
01:04:55,395 --> 01:04:57,940
Louie-Louie
oh, way down low
700
01:05:00,776 --> 01:05:05,113
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I said Louie-Louie
701
01:05:05,322 --> 01:05:08,075
Oh, baby...
702
01:05:10,702 --> 01:05:13,872
A fine little girl...
703
01:05:14,039 --> 01:05:17,543
(SONG CONTINUES)
704
01:05:30,180 --> 01:05:34,726
Jeez, Ben, there's a lot of stuff here.
Sure glad it's a single.
705
01:05:34,810 --> 01:05:37,771
Imagine putting up
a two-bedroom tepee.
706
01:05:37,938 --> 01:05:40,482
I can't, but that's a funny concept.
707
01:05:41,275 --> 01:05:44,862
That was my subtle way
of asking for help.
708
01:05:44,987 --> 01:05:51,076
You have to be more obvious, Jack.
I'm a kid. I don't get subtleties.
709
01:05:51,201 --> 01:05:56,748
- OK, fine. Wanna give me a hand?
- I'd rather not. My back's sore.
710
01:05:57,332 --> 01:06:02,880
All right.
I'll ask somebody else, then.
711
01:06:05,048 --> 01:06:07,885
Hey, Lloyd? Can you help me out?
712
01:06:19,479 --> 01:06:23,400
Let's make him laugh.
We'll have this up in no time!
713
01:06:23,609 --> 01:06:25,527
(WHISTLES)
714
01:06:25,736 --> 01:06:28,113
Lloyd says, "In a New York minute!"
715
01:06:28,280 --> 01:06:29,990
Let's do it.
716
01:06:32,284 --> 01:06:36,455
I'm all right. This looks good.
717
01:06:38,707 --> 01:06:43,378
This is long. Perfect.
I need these for the...?
718
01:06:45,214 --> 01:06:49,343
We have to cross these, Lloyd.
They should all be the same height.
719
01:06:49,510 --> 01:06:53,013
Then we make a cross.
Make sure they're the same height.
720
01:06:58,352 --> 01:07:03,899
This is good. Just pull it over
with a little more of an angle. Good.
721
01:07:06,610 --> 01:07:09,112
Ow, ow, ow!
722
01:07:12,449 --> 01:07:15,118
I'd better hold it.
723
01:07:17,246 --> 01:07:22,876
Try to keep this on an angle
so we can slip this over and through.
724
01:07:23,085 --> 01:07:27,923
Ow, ow! You got me
in the foot again, Lloyd!
725
01:07:31,343 --> 01:07:34,972
Good job! Thanks, Lloyd.
726
01:07:35,639 --> 01:07:38,767
Let's get some water or something.
727
01:07:41,603 --> 01:07:44,064
Nice job on the tent, Sturges.
728
01:07:44,231 --> 01:07:48,402
Let's settle in. We'll spend the night.
729
01:07:55,033 --> 01:07:59,496
Well, it doesn't get much better
than this, eh, guys?
730
01:08:00,163 --> 01:08:04,126
- Anybody feel like a story?
- Excellent idea.
731
01:08:04,209 --> 01:08:08,088
- Can I borrow your headdress, Chet?
- Sure.
732
01:08:09,506 --> 01:08:12,551
Be very careful.
733
01:08:13,177 --> 01:08:15,971
Thank you. Very good.
734
01:08:17,431 --> 01:08:22,769
OK, now.
This is a very old Indian legend,
735
01:08:22,936 --> 01:08:25,272
passed down
from generation to generation.
736
01:08:25,355 --> 01:08:29,067
Either that or I saw it
on an episode of "F Troop".
737
01:08:29,151 --> 01:08:32,988
Remember that show where all the
Indians were played by Italian actors?
738
01:08:33,071 --> 01:08:35,324
Them all talk like this.
739
01:08:35,490 --> 01:08:38,452
Real Native Americans
don't talk like that.
740
01:08:38,535 --> 01:08:44,041
Yes, Squatting Dog know this.
But intend use only for comic effect.
741
01:08:44,875 --> 01:08:46,835
OK.
742
01:08:47,002 --> 01:08:52,549
Many moon ago, was young
Lakota brave name Young Crab.
743
01:08:52,674 --> 01:08:55,302
So called because
him always in lousy mood.
744
01:08:55,469 --> 01:08:59,431
Especially after father skip camp
with secretary.
745
01:08:59,515 --> 01:09:04,728
Leave Young Crab all alone take
care of mother, name Lotsa Hair.
746
01:09:06,021 --> 01:09:11,235
Years go by. Young Crab
and Lotsa Hair become inseparable.
747
01:09:11,318 --> 01:09:12,778
Build new life.
748
01:09:12,945 --> 01:09:17,533
Young Crab so happy, he think about
change name to Happy Face.
749
01:09:17,658 --> 01:09:21,578
But then one day Lotsa Hair bring home
750
01:09:21,662 --> 01:09:27,042
incredibly handsome Lakota warrior,
name Looks So Darn Good.
751
01:09:27,209 --> 01:09:29,211
(LAUGHTER)
752
01:09:29,378 --> 01:09:35,050
She say, "This Looks So Darn Good.
I've decided to marry him.
753
01:09:35,133 --> 01:09:40,347
"Can blame me?
I mean, check it out one time."
754
01:09:40,430 --> 01:09:43,934
Young Crab not like Looks So Darn Good
from get-go.
755
01:09:44,017 --> 01:09:48,772
Not like way he ruin happy life
Young Crab have with Lotsa Hair.
756
01:09:48,856 --> 01:09:55,779
So do all he can to make Looks
So Darn Good look not so darn hot.
757
01:09:56,488 --> 01:09:58,949
Pour glue in moccasin.
758
01:09:59,074 --> 01:10:03,954
Order ten pizza delivered
to Looks So Darn Good's tepee.
759
01:10:04,037 --> 01:10:06,874
Run up big bills calling 1-900 numbers.
760
01:10:07,040 --> 01:10:10,669
Little Guides not try at home!
761
01:10:10,752 --> 01:10:15,132
Young Crab need discipline.
Perhaps trip to wood shed in order.
762
01:10:15,215 --> 01:10:20,679
No, no, Silver Fox.
Young Crab not need discipline.
763
01:10:20,762 --> 01:10:27,019
Him just scared Look So Darn Good
do same thing as father.
764
01:10:27,102 --> 01:10:33,317
Run away. Hurt Lotsa Hair
and Young Crab all over again.
765
01:10:33,400 --> 01:10:38,280
Look So Darn Good must
prove himself trustworthy.
766
01:10:38,363 --> 01:10:43,660
Good medicine, Running Horse,
but trust funny thing.
767
01:10:43,744 --> 01:10:48,498
No matter how hard one try,
sooner or later bound to screw up.
768
01:10:48,582 --> 01:10:54,171
Break trust.
Not mean to, but hey, poo happens.
769
01:10:54,338 --> 01:10:56,173
(LAUGHTER)
770
01:10:56,340 --> 01:11:01,345
- What can guides learn from this?
- Most important thing...
771
01:11:01,428 --> 01:11:07,267
Guides must never call 1-900 numbers
without parents' permission.
772
01:11:07,351 --> 01:11:10,521
Good point, Silver Fox.
But way off, as usual.
773
01:11:10,604 --> 01:11:15,817
I think the lesson is about
the importance of communication.
774
01:11:18,695 --> 01:11:24,284
Silent Thunder and Talking Rock
correct. Communication first step.
775
01:11:24,368 --> 01:11:27,538
I think it means you have
to have faith in people.
776
01:11:27,704 --> 01:11:30,749
Even if sometimes they disappoint you.
777
01:11:30,832 --> 01:11:34,753
Dark Eagle hit nail right on head.
778
01:11:34,920 --> 01:11:38,340
Great story.
And a good lesson for all of us.
779
01:11:41,134 --> 01:11:42,761
Good story, Jack!
780
01:12:03,824 --> 01:12:08,745
- I'm hungry, Dad. When are we eating?
- We gotta catch our breakfast.
781
01:12:08,829 --> 01:12:11,540
- Hey, Chief, is that coffee ready?
- Just about!
782
01:12:11,623 --> 01:12:16,170
- Can we have bacon and eggs?
- If it's in the stream.
783
01:12:32,686 --> 01:12:39,359
- Morning, Jack! How did you sleep?
- Fine, fine. Have you seen Ben?
784
01:12:39,443 --> 01:12:44,031
Yeah, I asked him to go down
to the creek and fill up the canteens.
785
01:12:44,156 --> 01:12:48,744
I'm glad you asked him and not me,
or we'd all die of thirst.
786
01:12:48,827 --> 01:12:51,288
Remember what I told you.
787
01:12:51,413 --> 01:12:57,085
"Keep at it". But I got to tell you,
Chet, I'm about ready to give up.
788
01:12:57,169 --> 01:13:00,964
I've tried everything to get
through to him. It's just not working.
789
01:13:01,048 --> 01:13:06,512
It takes time.
Believe it or not, you're doing fine.
790
01:13:06,595 --> 01:13:10,265
Yeah, real fine.
791
01:13:18,982 --> 01:13:22,152
Come on, Tony,
you're ruining your suit!
792
01:13:22,778 --> 01:13:27,574
Arrh-arrh-arrh...
793
01:13:28,617 --> 01:13:31,537
I got one! I got one!
794
01:13:31,620 --> 01:13:37,960
Hey, look at this! I caught a fish!
I'm a regular Jacques Cousteau!
795
01:13:38,043 --> 01:13:43,423
This is the first time I fished
in my life! I could actually enjoy this!
796
01:13:43,549 --> 01:13:47,803
Murray, after we kill the Sturges guy,
can we do this again?
797
01:13:48,846 --> 01:13:50,931
Jack.
798
01:13:54,893 --> 01:13:57,437
- Jack, Jack!
- What's the matter?
799
01:13:57,604 --> 01:14:03,527
There's some guys over there.
One of them said they're here to kill you.
800
01:14:03,610 --> 01:14:06,572
- Where are they?
- Over there, by the creek.
801
01:14:11,910 --> 01:14:17,291
- Enough with the fishing already!
- Just one more. I'm good at this.
802
01:14:17,374 --> 01:14:21,962
If you were as good at arranging
car accidents, Sturges would be dead.
803
01:14:22,045 --> 01:14:27,801
And we wouldn't be here in the forest
like Robin Hood and his Merry Men!
804
01:14:29,970 --> 01:14:33,974
What accident are they talking about?
You just had car trouble.
805
01:14:34,057 --> 01:14:39,271
- Yes, but I didn't tell you how much.
- So tell me now.
806
01:14:41,148 --> 01:14:43,233
Jack, tell me!
807
01:14:43,317 --> 01:14:48,655
They did something to the brakes
so I ended up in the bay. No big deal.
808
01:14:48,739 --> 01:14:52,367
- Why didn't you tell me?
- I didn't want to worry you.
809
01:14:52,451 --> 01:14:56,830
I thought you made up the car trouble
story to get out of the trip!
810
01:14:56,914 --> 01:15:01,543
If you'd said you had an accident
I wouldn't have gotten so upset.
811
01:15:01,627 --> 01:15:03,837
Sorry. I tried to do the right thing.
812
01:15:04,004 --> 01:15:07,883
Chet,
I need you to do something for me.
813
01:15:08,926 --> 01:15:12,596
Some guys followed me up here.
They're sort of after me.
814
01:15:12,763 --> 01:15:14,515
What do you mean?
815
01:15:14,681 --> 01:15:18,810
I sent a man to prison
and his son's a little upset about it.
816
01:15:18,894 --> 01:15:21,605
What do you want us to do?
817
01:15:21,772 --> 01:15:25,150
You and the boys head
to the ranger station for help.
818
01:15:26,068 --> 01:15:32,324
- I'll lead them up the mountain.
- We could stay here and help, Jack.
819
01:15:33,534 --> 01:15:38,455
I concur with Silent Thunder.
There must be something we can do.
820
01:15:38,539 --> 01:15:45,337
Thanks, but they're after me, not you.
It's too dangerous to stay together.
821
01:15:45,420 --> 01:15:49,842
All right. We'll get back as quick as
we can. Little Guides, let's move out!
822
01:15:50,843 --> 01:15:54,346
- That means you too, Ben.
- No way. I'm staying with you.
823
01:15:54,429 --> 01:15:57,558
- You're not staying with me.
- But I can help.
824
01:15:57,641 --> 01:16:01,562
You could be more help by making
sure the others get down OK.
825
01:16:01,728 --> 01:16:05,107
Go on, get out of here. I mean it.
826
01:16:10,195 --> 01:16:16,827
Ben! Thanks anyway. I appreciate it.
827
01:16:20,205 --> 01:16:24,918
- I'll meet you on the other side.
- I bet you we beat you there!
828
01:16:26,003 --> 01:16:29,214
I got you now, Sturges.
829
01:16:29,339 --> 01:16:34,553
Murray! Tony! Get ready.
The fun is about to begin.
830
01:16:51,737 --> 01:16:53,822
(GROANS)
831
01:17:05,667 --> 01:17:08,587
(GROANS)
832
01:17:10,088 --> 01:17:12,841
Great. Just what I need.
833
01:17:18,555 --> 01:17:21,183
(FAINT FOOTSTEPS)
834
01:17:27,314 --> 01:17:30,400
(FOOTSTEPS DRAW CLOSER)
835
01:17:33,487 --> 01:17:35,280
(SNEEZES)
836
01:17:45,624 --> 01:17:48,961
- Gesundheit.
- Ben, what are you doing here?
837
01:17:49,044 --> 01:17:53,423
- I came back here to help you.
- I don't need any help.
838
01:17:53,549 --> 01:17:57,302
What were you planning to do
when those guys found you?
839
01:17:57,469 --> 01:18:00,180
Lie there and pretend to be a slug?
840
01:18:00,264 --> 01:18:03,267
Exactly. Get out of here.
You're blowing my cover.
841
01:18:03,350 --> 01:18:06,353
You can't tell me what to do.
You're not my father.
842
01:18:06,520 --> 01:18:09,523
I knew you'd say that eventually.
843
01:18:11,358 --> 01:18:13,026
Oh, Jeez.
844
01:18:16,113 --> 01:18:20,701
- How's the leg?
- Except for the pain, it's great.
845
01:18:20,784 --> 01:18:23,495
Then we can't outrun them.
846
01:18:24,621 --> 01:18:28,792
We'll have to slow them up
until the others get back with help.
847
01:18:28,876 --> 01:18:31,879
These guys are hired killers with guns.
848
01:18:32,045 --> 01:18:34,923
We've got bows and arrows
and a tomahawk.
849
01:18:36,049 --> 01:18:38,760
We're going to need more than that.
850
01:18:38,844 --> 01:18:41,889
Red Crow told me that
when you need an answer,
851
01:18:42,055 --> 01:18:45,601
you just listen to nature
and the answer will be provided.
852
01:18:45,726 --> 01:18:49,855
- How do you know he wasn't kidding?
- Trust me.
853
01:18:52,107 --> 01:18:55,235
OK, I'll listen.
854
01:18:57,905 --> 01:19:00,365
Could you ask nature to speak up?
855
01:19:00,574 --> 01:19:03,076
- I can't hear a thing.
- Shh!
856
01:19:12,669 --> 01:19:15,380
(BUZZING)
857
01:19:15,547 --> 01:19:18,967
Thank you, Red Crow.
858
01:19:41,949 --> 01:19:44,868
Slow and easy!
859
01:19:47,037 --> 01:19:49,122
Hold on, don't get away from me!
860
01:19:57,756 --> 01:20:00,884
Easy, Ben. Don't shake it.
861
01:20:05,472 --> 01:20:07,099
That's good. Steady.
862
01:20:09,184 --> 01:20:11,562
- What's the matter with you?
- I slipped.
863
01:20:11,645 --> 01:20:14,273
Murray, get him on his feet.
864
01:20:14,356 --> 01:20:17,192
Come on, you look ridiculous!
865
01:20:17,276 --> 01:20:20,112
Hey, don't touch the suit!
866
01:20:39,673 --> 01:20:43,135
You guys go that way,
I'm going this way.
867
01:20:45,179 --> 01:20:49,641
- Does this guy know what he's doing?
- I don't know.
868
01:21:01,361 --> 01:21:05,157
My suit's full of twigs.
My cleaner will never get them out.
869
01:21:05,324 --> 01:21:07,618
Well, I got fish goop on my pants!
870
01:21:07,743 --> 01:21:12,247
- Never get us a job like this again!
- Don't worry, I won't.
871
01:21:14,082 --> 01:21:16,543
Indian stuff!
872
01:21:18,420 --> 01:21:22,007
- You got it.
- We got him.
873
01:21:24,301 --> 01:21:28,472
- OK, you ready?
- Ready, let's do it.
874
01:21:34,394 --> 01:21:40,150
Look, more of that beaded junk.
They gotta be around here somewhere.
875
01:21:40,317 --> 01:21:41,860
(WHISTLE)
876
01:21:44,988 --> 01:21:48,867
- Look! There's his kid.
- What's he doing?
877
01:21:49,284 --> 01:21:52,246
He's gonna shoot us
with his little bow and arrow.
878
01:21:52,412 --> 01:21:57,125
- Ooh, I'm really scared.
- Yeah, maybe we should take cover.
879
01:22:07,469 --> 01:22:09,096
Beehive!
880
01:22:11,890 --> 01:22:16,520
Tony, they're biting me!
Tell them to leave me alone!
881
01:22:16,687 --> 01:22:19,815
(BUZZING AND SCREAMING)
882
01:22:22,442 --> 01:22:25,571
- Good shot, Little Wing!
- You, too, Squatting Dog.
883
01:22:25,654 --> 01:22:28,866
We really ought to think
about changing my name.
884
01:22:28,949 --> 01:22:33,579
Good idea. How about "Dead Meat"?
885
01:22:46,967 --> 01:22:49,970
Not so tough now, are you, Sturges?
886
01:22:50,053 --> 01:22:55,893
If you wanna beg for your life
like a little worm, go ahead!
887
01:22:58,645 --> 01:23:02,065
You know, Joey,
I expected something better from you.
888
01:23:02,191 --> 01:23:03,650
What are you talking about?
889
01:23:03,817 --> 01:23:07,571
Come on, Joey. The old seal-them
up-in-an-abandoned-mine routine?
890
01:23:07,779 --> 01:23:10,866
- What's wrong with it?
- It's boring!
891
01:23:11,033 --> 01:23:13,452
Shows a complete lack of imagination.
892
01:23:13,535 --> 01:23:17,039
And I suppose you could think
of something better?
893
01:23:17,206 --> 01:23:19,208
Without even trying.
894
01:23:19,374 --> 01:23:22,794
You could hurl us off a cliff
onto jagged rocks.
895
01:23:22,961 --> 01:23:25,297
That's not any better.
896
01:23:25,506 --> 01:23:29,426
But first you drill holes
in the back of our heads
897
01:23:29,635 --> 01:23:33,138
to make it look like
an industrial accident.
898
01:23:34,473 --> 01:23:40,229
Or you could wrap us in wet rawhide,
so when it dried it'd mash our bones
899
01:23:40,395 --> 01:23:44,691
and squeeze our organs out
through our orifices like toothpaste.
900
01:23:47,945 --> 01:23:53,659
- I saw it on "America's Most Wanted".
- Listen, Sturges, this kid is sick.
901
01:23:53,825 --> 01:24:00,123
If I wasn't going to kill you,
I'd suggest you get him psychiatric help.
902
01:24:00,207 --> 01:24:06,088
Tony, light the fuse before this
little demento gets any more ideas.
903
01:24:11,552 --> 01:24:14,471
Bye-bye, Sturges.
904
01:24:16,640 --> 01:24:18,725
Bye-bye, kid!
905
01:24:18,809 --> 01:24:24,022
- Jack, what are we going to do?
- Don't worry, Ben, it'll be OK.
906
01:24:51,967 --> 01:24:55,345
What the hell is this? Charades?
907
01:24:58,015 --> 01:25:03,312
He says, "Throw down your weapons
or you'll end like stupid pincushions."
908
01:25:03,437 --> 01:25:07,357
- Actually, he didn't say "stupid" .
- Yeah, right.
909
01:25:07,441 --> 01:25:12,196
Like I'm going to surrender
to one screwball with a bow and arrow?
910
01:25:12,279 --> 01:25:14,865
Murray, put a bullet in his head.
911
01:25:15,073 --> 01:25:18,076
Excuse me there.
912
01:25:18,160 --> 01:25:24,124
Point of order. I believe it's illegal
to possess firearms in a state park.
913
01:25:26,168 --> 01:25:30,839
As a representative of the Department
of Motor Vehicles, a state agency,
914
01:25:31,006 --> 01:25:33,509
I have to confiscate those weapons.
915
01:25:33,717 --> 01:25:37,304
Oh, now there's two of them!
I'm really scared.
916
01:25:37,387 --> 01:25:40,057
Make that three.
917
01:25:40,933 --> 01:25:44,061
- Four!
- Five!
918
01:25:44,144 --> 01:25:46,271
Six!
919
01:25:46,355 --> 01:25:49,399
We're surrounded!
What do we do now, Joey?
920
01:25:49,483 --> 01:25:54,780
They've got bows. You got guns.
What do you think you do? Shoot them!
921
01:25:54,863 --> 01:25:57,074
OK, Guides, let them have it!
922
01:26:00,369 --> 01:26:01,703
GERONIMO!
923
01:26:08,252 --> 01:26:12,214
- That's it! No more playing around.
- I don't think so, Joey.
924
01:26:14,967 --> 01:26:17,970
Here's another piece of garbage
you can add to the pile.
925
01:26:18,720 --> 01:26:22,182
Sure thing, Squatting Dog.
OK, dirt bags, on your feet!
926
01:26:22,266 --> 01:26:27,521
Remember, no smart stuff,
I got the gun. Come on, get up!
927
01:26:29,481 --> 01:26:31,692
Wow!
928
01:26:32,776 --> 01:26:36,864
- You guys OK?
- Yeah. Thanks for coming back.
929
01:26:36,947 --> 01:26:42,703
Hey, we're Indian Guides.
And Indian Guides stick together.
930
01:26:42,870 --> 01:26:48,500
Besides, if we'd tried to get to the
ranger station, we'd have got lost.
931
01:26:58,135 --> 01:27:00,721
Thanks, Lloyd! That was a great shot.
932
01:27:02,389 --> 01:27:04,349
(WHISTLES)
933
01:27:06,727 --> 01:27:13,066
You know, Ben, those are the weirdest
guys I've ever met. But I like them.
934
01:27:13,150 --> 01:27:17,446
Yeah, they're definitely unusual.
But who wants normal, anyway. Right?
935
01:27:20,032 --> 01:27:26,496
Ben, I want to thank you, too,
for coming back. It was very brave.
936
01:27:26,580 --> 01:27:30,250
Well, I couldn't just let them kill you.
937
01:27:30,334 --> 01:27:35,923
After all, I think my mom wants
to keep you around for a while.
938
01:27:36,006 --> 01:27:38,967
And, well...
939
01:27:40,677 --> 01:27:44,014
I guess I do, too.
940
01:27:45,182 --> 01:27:47,851
Let's go home.
941
01:27:50,229 --> 01:27:54,399
So, now that we're buddies,
is it OK if I marry your mom?
942
01:27:54,483 --> 01:28:00,364
I don't know, Jack. There are a few
things I need to know about you first.
943
01:28:02,658 --> 01:28:06,703
- Is that all you make?
- It's not exactly minimum wage.
944
01:28:06,787 --> 01:28:10,541
I thought you were a big-shot attorney
for the government.
945
01:28:10,707 --> 01:28:13,502
They make up for it in benefits.
946
01:28:13,585 --> 01:28:20,467
Which will be handy when they replace
the teeth I'll knock out of your head.
947
01:28:20,551 --> 01:28:25,222
- Any bad habits I should know about?
- I drink milk from the carton.
948
01:28:25,305 --> 01:28:29,977
Sometimes I use a spoon
and put it back in the drawer.
949
01:28:30,060 --> 01:28:34,314
Any chance of you becoming a serial
killer and boiling our heads in acid?
950
01:28:34,398 --> 01:28:38,569
Don't be silly!
I haven't done that in years.
951
01:28:39,611 --> 01:28:44,658
- So? Do I pass the test?
- You'll do, I guess.
952
01:28:44,741 --> 01:28:49,371
- Do you mind if I tell your mother?
- Yeah, sure. Go ahead.
953
01:28:51,957 --> 01:28:57,171
Oh, by the way, that thing
about boiling heads? I lied.
954
01:28:58,755 --> 01:29:01,842
- Jack!
- OK, I didn't lie.
955
01:29:01,925 --> 01:29:05,053
Come here. Look what you've done.
956
01:29:10,350 --> 01:29:12,394
It's a circle.
957
01:29:16,064 --> 01:29:18,233
- Sandy!
- Mom!
958
01:29:18,400 --> 01:29:22,404
- What's the matter?
- Come here. Look what Jack did.
959
01:29:32,080 --> 01:29:34,666
Oh, what do you know?
960
01:29:34,750 --> 01:29:37,461
It's done.
961
01:29:41,924 --> 01:29:47,137
(INDIAN SONG)
962
01:29:54,603 --> 01:29:57,856
Love, love...
963
01:29:58,732 --> 01:30:02,903
As you probably figured out,
I let Jack marry my mother.
964
01:30:02,986 --> 01:30:07,616
It seemed only fair
after what I put him through.
965
01:30:08,367 --> 01:30:12,704
Jack and I still go to Indian Guides.
We made him our chief.
966
01:30:12,788 --> 01:30:16,708
Next week, we're making reindeer
out of clothes-pins.
967
01:30:18,377 --> 01:30:21,129
Mr Sweeney is still a perfectionist.
968
01:30:21,255 --> 01:30:23,715
The Indian Guides
issued a new handbook,
969
01:30:23,882 --> 01:30:26,552
so he's busy memorising that one.
970
01:30:26,760 --> 01:30:29,054
He says he's already found two typos.
971
01:30:29,221 --> 01:30:35,853
Look into your heart, my friend
That'll be the return to yourself
972
01:30:36,061 --> 01:30:39,273
The return to innocence
973
01:30:39,439 --> 01:30:44,903
Mr Small still doesn't talk.
I haven't figured out why yet.
974
01:30:44,987 --> 01:30:50,200
But when you think about it, Darryl
was right. Who needs words anyway?
975
01:30:50,534 --> 01:30:55,956
(INDIAN SINGING)
976
01:30:58,667 --> 01:31:00,836
The return to innocence
977
01:31:01,044 --> 01:31:06,175
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
978
01:31:06,383 --> 01:31:09,219
Be yourself, don't hide
979
01:31:09,428 --> 01:31:14,349
Just believe in destiny
don't care what people say...
980
01:31:14,516 --> 01:31:18,395
Mr Bronski still acts like a big kid
most of the time.
981
01:31:18,478 --> 01:31:24,359
But just because you grow up,
it doesn't mean you stop having fun.
982
01:31:24,443 --> 01:31:27,362
Norman still gets stuffed
into his locker.
983
01:31:27,529 --> 01:31:32,784
But with me around
at least now he has some company.
984
01:31:39,124 --> 01:31:41,793
Monroe's beginning to come around.
985
01:31:41,960 --> 01:31:45,047
He says he may join
the Indian Guides,
986
01:31:45,130 --> 01:31:49,301
as long as he doesn't
have to sleep outside on the ground.
987
01:31:52,387 --> 01:31:57,142
If you'd told me two months ago
I'd enjoy being an Indian Guide,
988
01:31:57,226 --> 01:32:02,397
I'd have said you were crazy.
But it's funny how things turn out.
989
01:32:07,152 --> 01:32:12,866
And my mom?
Well, I never saw her so happy.
990
01:32:26,255 --> 01:32:31,426
I'll tell you one thing's for sure:
Jack's a really lucky guy.
991
01:32:31,510 --> 01:32:34,471
But then again, so am I.
992
01:32:34,596 --> 01:32:37,724
(INDIAN SONG)
993
01:32:40,269 --> 01:32:42,896
(INAUDIBLE)
994
01:32:46,525 --> 01:32:49,570
I'd like to tell you
we all lived happily ever after,
995
01:32:49,736 --> 01:32:52,823
but it's too soon to tell.
996
01:33:02,374 --> 01:33:05,127
There's a lesson
to be learned from all this.
997
01:33:05,210 --> 01:33:09,715
Sometimes you have to trust people
and hope everything works out.
998
01:33:11,800 --> 01:33:17,347
I mean, after all,
nothing's perfect, is it?