1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:04,870
"THE FORCE-CARRYING
PARTICLES EXCHANGED
BETWEEN MATTER PARTICLES

2
00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:06,505
ARE SAID TO BE
VIRTUAL PARTICLES

3
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:09,074
BECAUSE, UNLIKE REAL
PARTICLES, THEY CANNOT
BE DIRECTLY DETECTED

4
00:00:09,076 --> 00:00:11,076
BY A PARTICLE DETECTOR."

5
00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:13,712
THE PEOPLE
ON THIS PLANET

6
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,647
WILL SWALLOW ANYTHING.

7
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:19,284
OOH, FINALLY.

8
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:22,354
MY PICTURES OF
"THE TODAY SHOW" GANG.

9
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:25,690
OOH, MY FAVORITE--

10
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:28,427
MARTHA STEWART.

11
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:31,897
- IS IT AUTOGRAPHED?
- NO, BUT SHE SIGNED IT.

12
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:34,066
SHE LOOKS
GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT.

13
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:46,578
- SO, HOW WAS SCHOOL TODAY?
- THE BEST EVER.

14
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,580
I HAD MY VERY FIRST
MAKE-OUT SESSION.

15
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:51,716
- GOOD FOR YOU.
- IT WAS WITH DINA,
MY LAB PARTNER.

16
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,886
- DINA, THE ONE
WITH THE...?
- OH, YEAH.

17
00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:58,357
TELL US EVERYTHING.
I WANT DETAILS.

18
00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:00,359
AT FIRST
I WAS CONFLICTED.

19
00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,361
WE COME FROM VERY
DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS.

20
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:05,264
I'M AN ALIEN,
AND SHE'S A PRESBYTERIAN.

21
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,266
I HAVE A HIGHLY
DEVELOPED MIND,

22
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:10,436
AND SHE'S GOT THAT...
BIG, POUTY MOUTH.

23
00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:13,172
- I TELL YOU, DICK,
IT WAS A TOUGH DECISION.
- WHAT TIPPED THE SCALES?

24
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:15,307
SHE LET ME.

25
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,409
REALLY?

26
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:20,946
- WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
- WELL, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT CAME OVER ME,

27
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:23,782
BUT... THEY
WERE SO BIG

28
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:26,452
AND ROUND
AND BEAUTIFUL,

29
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:29,921
- I JUST HAD
TO TOUCH THEM.
- AND THEN WHAT?

30
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:33,858
SHE SCREAMED,
"OW, MY EYES!"
AND THAT JUST...

31
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:36,528
- BASICALLY
KILLED THE MOOD.
- DAMN.

32
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,564
<i> ( '50s rock music playing )</i>

33
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:11,029
"IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES.
IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES."

34
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,000
I'M NOT READING
387 PAGES

35
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:17,936
IF HE CAN'T MAKE UP HIS MIND
IN THE FIRST SENTENCE.

36
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:22,608
GREAT.  WONDERFUL.

37
00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:24,643
THANKS FOR NOTHING.

38
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,645
WHAT HAPPENED?

39
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,781
MY DATE FOR A WEDDING
TOMORROW NIGHT CANCELED
AT THE LAST MINUTE.

40
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:32,551
HIS BROTHER CAME OUT
OF THE COMA.

41
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:37,322
- A WEDDING?
- YEAH, A BIG RECEPTION.

42
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:40,759
- A RITUAL?
- VERY TRADITIONAL--
CRYING, DANCING.

43
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:44,029
AND THE FEMALE DEVOURS
THE MALE IMMEDIATELY
AFTER THE CEREMONY?

44
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,566
NO.  THAT'S A PROCESS

45
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,402
THAT TAKES
YEARS AND YEARS.

46
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:53,338
- NINA, ARE YOU MARRIED?
- NO.

47
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,740
WHY NOT?  WHAT ARE
YOU DOING WRONG?

48
00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:58,143
YOU SOUND JUST
LIKE MY MOTHER.

49
00:02:58,145 --> 00:03:00,812
THAT MUST BE VERY
CONFUSING FOR YOU.

50
00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:07,352
I WISH I DIDN'T RSVP.
I HATE GOING TO THESE
THINGS BY MYSELF.

51
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:10,055
I'D LOVE TO GO TO
THE WEDDING WITH YOU.

52
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:12,857
OH, I COULDN'T ASK YOU TO DO
THAT AT SUCH SHORT NOTICE.

53
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,593
- I DON'T MIND.
- IT'S A TWO-HOUR DRIVE.

54
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:17,529
- I'LL PAY FOR THE GAS.
- YOU'D HAVE TO WEAR A SUIT.

55
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:21,066
- I'M WEARING A SUIT.
- A NICE SUIT.

56
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:24,536
I'LL GET ONE.  YOU CAN
PICK IT OUT, WHATEVER
IT TAKES.  I'LL DO IT!

57
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,938
- YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME
SAY THIS, AREN'T YOU?
- WHAT?

58
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:30,875
IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T
FIND YOU CHARMING
IN YOUR OWN WAY.

59
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,044
IT'S JUST THAT YOU
TEND TO MAKE

60
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,113
A VIVID IMPRESSION
ON PEOPLE.

61
00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:37,749
WELL, I AM
THE HIGH COMMANDER.

62
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,984
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT.

63
00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:42,254
I PROMISE YOU I'LL BE
ON MY BEST BEHAVIOR.

64
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:45,524
- YOU WON'T BRING ANY
OF YOUR FAMILY?
- JUST ME.

65
00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,526
FINE.
YOU CAN COME.

66
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:49,528
( gasps )
EXCELLENT!

67
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:51,697
MY FIRST WEDDING!
I CAN'T WAIT!

68
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,765
OH, AND BE SURE
TO WEAR SOMETHING

69
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:56,268
THAT SHOWS THE CRACK
IN YOUR BREASTS.

70
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:06,077
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE SCHOOL
NURSE IS TALKING ABOUT.
I DON'T SEE ANY BUG.

71
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,880
I KNOW.
SHE SAID I PROBABLY
GOT IT FROM DINA,

72
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:12,618
BUT I DON'T GET HOW
UNLESS THE BUG SWAM IN
WITH THE SALIVA.

73
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:16,121
- THIS IS INTERESTING.
MY THROAT TICKLES.
- MINE, TOO.

74
00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:20,191
YOU KNOW, I TRIED USING
A STICK TO SCRATCH IT,

75
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:23,695
BUT THAT JUST BROUGHT UP
A WHOLE NEW SET OF PROBLEMS.

76
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,432
OKAY, SALLY, THIS SHIRT,
THIS TIE, THESE SOCKS?

77
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:30,402
- OR THIS SHIRT,
THIS TIE, THESE SOCKS?
- STOP.  WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

78
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:32,237
I'M SORRY,
BUT MARY'S COUNTING ON ME.

79
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:33,838
I WANT TO LOOK MY BEST
FOR THE WEDDING.

80
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,708
- WHAT IS IT WITH YOU
AND THAT BLONDE?
- NOTHING.

81
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,710
THIS IS STRICTLY RESEARCH.

82
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:41,813
BUT TO DESCRIBE HER
AS BLONDE IS INACCURATE.

83
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:44,115
HER HAIR IS
MORE LIKE HONEY

84
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:47,619
WITH FLAXEN HIGHLIGHTS
AND JUST A WHISPER OF GOLD

85
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,621
DANCING PLAYFULLY
ABOUT THE HALO

86
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,556
THAT SURROUNDS HER.

87
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,959
SO SHE'S NOT BLONDE.

88
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,896
I'M SORRY.  I GUESS I JUST
HAVEN'T SEEN HER THROUGH
YOUR LOVE GOGGLES.

89
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,898
I DON'T LOVE HER--

90
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,734
THIS IS A PERFECT
OPPORTUNITY TO OBSERVE
A WEDDING FIRSTHAND.

91
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,869
- THERE'S A LOT
WE DON'T UNDERSTAND.
- LIKE WHAT?

92
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:07,439
WELL, IT'S REALLY
A VERY FASCINATING RITUAL.

93
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:10,942
THE CEREMONY BEGINS
WITH THE BRIDE
BEING GIVEN AWAY.

94
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:12,977
EXCUSE ME.   GIVEN AWAY,
LIKE AN OBJECT?

95
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:16,615
AS IN "FREE GIRL
WITH EVERY LARGE FRIES"?

96
00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:19,584
WAIT.  THERE'S FREE
GIRLS?  CAN I GO?

97
00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:21,553
FRIES?  CAN I GO?

98
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:25,390
NO... I'M AFRAID NOT.
DR. ALBRIGHT HAS
ALREADY RSVP'd.

99
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:28,560
YOU SAID YOU'D STOP
SPELLING IN FRONT OF ME.

100
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,730
( sneezes )

101
00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:35,900
WOW!

102
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:38,136
- WHAT WAS THAT?
- I DON'T KNOW,

103
00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:40,605
BUT I WANT
ANOTHER ONE.

104
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:43,208
( sneezes )

105
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:47,412
OH!

106
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,984
( sneezes )

107
00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:56,287
OOH!

108
00:05:57,391 --> 00:06:00,425
WAS IT AS GOOD FOR YOU
AS IT WAS FOR ME?

109
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,633
- ( moans )
- GOOD MORNING,
DR. SOLOMON.

110
00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:10,635
( nasal voice )
GOOD MORNING.

111
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:12,771
I SEEM TO BE HAVING
A LITTLE TROUBLE
SWALLOWING.

112
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:15,907
DO YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW
IF THERE'S AN ALTERNATE
STOMACH ACCESS?

113
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:19,811
- ARE YOU SICK?
- YES, AND THE NOVELTY
IS STARTING TO WEAR OFF.

114
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:23,314
YOU'RE SICK AND YOU'RE
BREATHING MY AIR.

115
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:26,385
WHICH AIR IS YOURS?

116
00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:28,620
- I'LL GET YOU SOME TEA.
- WHAT'S THIS?

117
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,968
THIS IS BRILLIANT!

118
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,037
YOU'RE SICK.
YOU SHOULD BE
HOME IN BED.

119
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:48,072
THIS IS MY FIRST DATE
WITH DR. ALBRIGHT.

120
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,409
DR. SOLOMON, I'M SURE
SHE'LL UNDERSTAND.

121
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:53,445
NINA, PLEASE.  THIS IS
VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.

122
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:55,680
PROMISE ME YOU WON'T LET
DR. ALBRIGHT KNOW...

123
00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:57,682
THAT... I'M SICK.
( sneezes )

124
00:06:57,684 --> 00:06:59,618
SHE WON'T HEAR IT
FROM ME.

125
00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:04,188
- GOOD MORNING.
- GOOD MORNING,
DR. ALBRIGHT.

126
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:06,190
I'M FINE, THANKS.

127
00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:09,060
GOOD.  I'M LOOKING
FORWARD TO TONIGHT.

128
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:11,029
-<i> AREN'T YOU?</i>
- ABSOLUTELY.

129
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,799
IT'LL BE FUN.
WHY DON'T YOU PICK ME UP
AROUND 7:00-ISH?

130
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:16,635
7:00-ISH ON THE DOT.

131
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:20,038
BETTER MAKE IT 6:30.
YOU MIGHT HAVE
TROUBLE PARK...ING.

132
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,874
YOU MIGHT, BUT I'M
VERY GOOD AT IT.

133
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:26,177
OH, I'M LATE
FOR CLASS.

134
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:30,014
- SEE YOU TONIGHT.
- CAN'T WAIT.

135
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:32,584
( yelling )

136
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:38,723
( groans )
MY HEAD IS THROBBING.

137
00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:40,725
- ME, TOO.
- MINE'S WORSE.

138
00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:42,694
AND MY BACK IS ACHING.

139
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:44,696
- ME, TOO.
- MINE'S KILLING ME.

140
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:46,731
MY BREASTS FEEL LIKE

141
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:49,601
TWO HOT STEAMING
BOWLS OF CHILI.

142
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,405
SHE WINS.

143
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,341
THIS IS ALL
YOUR FAULT.

144
00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:58,777
YOU BROUGHT A FOREIGN
GERM INTO THIS HOUSE.

145
00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:01,480
HEY, I HAVE AS MUCH
A RIGHT TO BE HERE

146
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:03,414
AS ANYBODY ELSE.

147
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:07,085
SEE YOU LATER.

148
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:21,199
I'M NOT WEARING PANTS.

149
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:24,435
I WAS WONDERING
WHY THE LINT BRUSH
WASN'T WORKING.

150
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:29,040
DICK, YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY
TOO SICK TO GO.

151
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:32,443
WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAY
HOME AND DRIP FLUIDS
WITH THE REST OF US?

152
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:35,046
NONSENSE.  I FEEL
PERFECTLY FINE.

153
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:37,348
DICK, I THINK SALLY'S RIGHT.
YOU SHOULD JUST STAY HOME.

154
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:40,284
NO.  NOW, HELP ME
GET MY PANTS ON.

155
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,388
AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.

156
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:46,892
I'VE NEVER BEEN DEFEATED
BY A SINGLE-CELLED ORGANISM.

157
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:49,961
THEY ARE STEALTHY,
BUT THEY ARE STUPID.

158
00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:52,964
I AM THE HIGH COMMANDER,
AND I REFUSE TO LET
THIS BEAT ME.

159
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:55,400
OKAY, FINE.
IF YOU INSIST
ON BEING STUBBORN,

160
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:57,569
AT LEAST TAKE SOME
OF THIS COUGH SYRUP.

161
00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,571
- I DON'T NEED IT.
- DICK, YOU HAVE TO.

162
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,806
THE LADY AT THE DRUGSTORE
SAID IF THIS DOESN'T WORK,

163
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:04,108
WE HAVE TO PUT
A VAPORIZER IN YOUR ROOM.

164
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:06,377
( gasps )
OH, NO.

165
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,248
( yells )

166
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,250
- TASTES BAD?
- NO.

167
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:14,519
I JUST DIDN'T CLEAR
THE ZIPPER.

168
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:25,096
WE ARE GATHERED
TOGETHER HERE
IN THE SIGHT OF GOD

169
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,098
<i> AND IN THE FACE</i>
<i> OF THIS COMPANY</i>

170
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:30,535
<i> TO JOIN TOGETHER</i>
<i> THIS MAN AND THIS WOMAN</i>
<i> IN HOLY MATRIMONY,</i>

171
00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:32,537
<i> WHICH IS</i>
<i> AN HONORABLE ESTATE,</i>

172
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:34,773
<i> INSTITUTED OF GOD, </i>
<i> SIGNIFYING UNTO US...</i>

173
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:40,511
<i> ...AND HIS CHURCH,</i>
<i> WHICH HOLY ESTATE</i>
<i> CHRIST ADORNED AND...</i>

174
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,448
NOW, WHICH OF
THOSE GUYS IS GOD?

175
00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:45,450
- BE QUIET.
- OKAY,

176
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:48,352
BUT BE SURE TO INTRODUCE
ME LATER BECAUSE I WANT
SOME ANSWERS.

177
00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:51,189
- SHH!  SHH!
- SHH!  SHH-HH!

178
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:58,463
( sighs )
NOW, HOW WERE THOSE TWO
ABLE TO FIND EACH OTHER?

179
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,565
IT WAS FATE.

180
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,601
HE'S RICH.
SHE WANTED MONEY

181
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:05,770
SO SHE COULD
SIT ON HER ASS.
I GIVE IT A YEAR.

182
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,772
OH...
( sobs )

183
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,274
THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

184
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,144
LOOK AT THEM.
THEY BELONG TOGETHER.
( sighs )

185
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:16,481
DO YOU THINK THEY
HAVE ANY IDEA HOW UGLY
THEIR CHILDREN WILL BE?

186
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,918
- SHH!
- OH, YOU SHUSH.

187
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,687
- SHH!
- SHH-HH!

188
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,288
( laughs )

189
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:29,393
( sighs )
OH, THIS IS SO MOVING--

190
00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:32,563
THE LOVE,
THE CLOSENESS.

191
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:36,300
- HOLD ME.
- OH, GET OFF!

192
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:39,170
- All: SHH!
- I DON'T WANT
TO PLAY ANYMORE!

193
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,406
( inhales )

194
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,478
WHOO!

195
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,580
UH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

196
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,616
I GOT ANOTHER HOLE HERE.

197
00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:57,522
WHOO!

198
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,424
I MADE CHICKEN SOUP.

199
00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,927
IT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE
US FEEL BETTER.

200
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,669
AHH!

201
00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:13,038
SALLY, YOU'RE AMAZING.
AS SICK AS YOU ARE,

202
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,674
- YOU KEEP TAKING
CARE OF US.
- YEAH, I KNOW.

203
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:19,343
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
ALL I WANT TO DO IS
CURL UP INTO A BALL.

204
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:21,512
YET, SOMEHOW I'M COMPELLED
TO NURTURE YOU.

205
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,548
GOD, WHAT
A CRUEL DISEASE.

206
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:27,085
WHY DID WE CHOOSE BODIES
THAT COULD DECAY SO EASILY?

207
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:29,487
I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD
COME HERE AS DUCKS,

208
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:32,423
BUT NOBODY LISTENS TO ME.

209
00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:34,425
HOW COULD DINA
DO THIS TO ME

210
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,795
AFTER I WAS NICE ENOUGH
TO SPREAD THE WORD

211
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:39,164
THAT SHE WAS
A GOOD FRENCHER?

212
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:41,232
AFTER ALL THE BATTLES
I'VE FOUGHT IN

213
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,668
AND ALL THE PLACES
I'VE BEEN, I--

214
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:46,004
I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M GONNA DIE

215
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:48,472
ON A FLEA-INFESTED
LITTLE PLANET

216
00:11:48,474 --> 00:11:51,242
IN THE BOONDOCKS
OF THE GALAXY...

217
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,345
IN THIS OUTFIT.

218
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,416
NOW I'LL NEVER
FALL IN LOVE,

219
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:02,187
NEVER GET USED,
CHEATED ON,

220
00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:05,489
TOSSED ASIDE
LIKE AN OLD SHOE.

221
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:08,326
I'M GLAD I'M DYING.

222
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:11,329
YOU KNOW,
I NEVER TOLD YOU THIS,
BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT

223
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:14,398
YOU'D MAKE A TOTALLY
KICK-ASS HIGH COMMANDER.

224
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,500
THANKS.

225
00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:18,603
I'VE ALWAYS ADMIRED
YOUR ELOQUENCE.

226
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:21,740
WHAT ABOUT ME?

227
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:26,845
NO ONE CAN TAKE A BLOW
TO THE HEAD LIKE YOU, HARRY.

228
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:30,248
YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS TO ME.

229
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,350
I LOVE YOU GUYS.

230
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:42,093
I REALLY WISH
YOU HADN'T WRESTLED
THE MAID OF HONOR FOR THAT.

231
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,729
I SEE.
MEN AND WOMEN ARE
COMPLETELY EQUAL

232
00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:47,966
- UNTIL SOMETHING PRETTY
IS BEING GIVEN AWAY.
- KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN.

233
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,301
WHAT WAS WITH
THAT LITTLE GIRL
THROWING AWAY FLOWERS?

234
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:52,303
WHAT THE HELL
WAS HER PROBLEM?

235
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,605
- IT'S TIME TO LEAVE.
- OH, WAIT.

236
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:57,242
I HAVEN'T GIVEN YOU
YOUR GIFT YET.

237
00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:00,311
IT'S A TOASTER.

238
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,981
- WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?
- IN THE ROOM FULL OF PRIZES.

239
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,250
<i> ( glass clinking )</i>

240
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:07,919
I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST
TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM.

241
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,921
All:
HEAR, HEAR.

242
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:12,623
TO A LIFETIME
OF HAPPINESS TOGETHER.

243
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,558
WE GIVE IT A YEAR!

244
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:19,831
MARY?
MARY, WHO IS

245
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:22,200
THIS INTERESTING
CHARACTER YOU'RE WITH?

246
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,502
DR. RICHARD SOLOMON
FROM THE UNIVERSITY.

247
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,838
WELL, I DIDN'T THINK
THAT YOU COULD TOP

248
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,907
THE PERSONAL
TRAINER/PLAYWRIGHT,

249
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:30,909
BUT YOU ALWAYS
COME THROUGH.

250
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,911
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW

251
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:35,413
DR. SOLOMON IS
A HIGHLY RESPECTED
SCHOLAR AND EDUCATOR.

252
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,415
HE MAY BE
A BIT ECCENTRIC,

253
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,650
BUT HE IS A WONDERFULLY
EXCITING MAN.

254
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,954
I'M SURE I'M HAVING
A MUCH BETTER TIME
THAN YOU ARE.

255
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,028
I'M PROPOSING A TOAST.

256
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:52,630
I THINK I SPEAK FOR
EVERYONE WHEN I SAY

257
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:56,301
THAT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL,
RADIANT WOMAN IN THE ROOM

258
00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:58,870
IS NOT THE BRIDE
BUT MARY ALBRIGHT!

259
00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:01,906
YES, YES, YES!

260
00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:03,875
HI.

261
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:09,214
I HAVE A SPECIAL DISH
AND A SPECIAL HELPER TODAY--

262
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:11,216
HARRY SOLOMON.

263
00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:14,585
HARRY IS AN ALIEN.
I LOVE ALIENS.

264
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:18,122
MMM, AND I LOVE YOUR
TRADITIONAL OYSTER STUFFING,

265
00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:20,158
- IN THEORY.
- THANK YOU.

266
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,727
NOW, YOU'RE NOT
FEELING VERY WELL,
ARE YOU, HARRY?

267
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:26,164
OH, MARTHA, I FEEL
LIKE I'M GOING TO DIE.

268
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:29,200
WELL, YOU NEED
A REASON TO LIVE,

269
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:32,370
AND I THINK I HAVE ONE--
FALL CRISP

270
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:35,173
GRANNY SMITH
APPLE COBBLER.

271
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:38,843
MMM!
A LATTICE CRUST.

272
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,547
NOW, OPEN WIDE.

273
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:51,155
MMM!

274
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:53,557
SEE?  YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO DIE,

275
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,693
AND THAT'S
A GOOD THING.

276
00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,997
HARRY.

277
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:01,165
MM-MMM!

278
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:03,134
MMM!  MMM!

279
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:08,239
<i> ( knocking )</i>

280
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,174
COME IN.

281
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,981
MARTHA STEWART SAYS
I'M NOT GONNA DIE.

282
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:20,285
- IS TOMMY HOME?
- WHAT?  OH, HEY, DINA.

283
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:22,353
- HEY, TOMMY.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

284
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:26,324
- I CAME BY TO SEE
HOW YOU'RE FEELING.
- I'M FEELING BETTER, THANKS.

285
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:29,460
- I'M SORRY
I GAVE YOU THE FLU.
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT,

286
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:31,595
'CAUSE ANYTIME YOU WANT
TO GIVE ME ANYTHING,

287
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,531
JUST LET ME KNOW,

288
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:36,200
'CAUSE IF I HAD TO
DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN,

289
00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:38,202
I'D DO IT
ALL OVER AGAIN.

290
00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:41,705
SO IS THERE A CHANCE
WE COULD DO IT
ALL OVER AGAIN?

291
00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:43,707
WE COULD GO
TO MY HOUSE.

292
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:47,145
- GREAT!  YEAH, YEAH.
- WHO'S THAT?

293
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:50,448
THIS IS DINA.
SHE'S THE ONE
THAT GOT US SICK.

294
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,051
- DESTROY THE INCUBATOR!
- ( Dina shrieks )

295
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,324
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

296
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:09,400
- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
- I'M FINE.  I COULD
STAY HERE ALL NIGHT.

297
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,970
- NOT WITH ME.
I'M LEAVING.
- VERY WELL.

298
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:14,705
-<i> ( rumba music playing )</i>
- WAIT.

299
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:17,741
LISTEN.  IT'S 4/4 TIME
WITH A HALF-BEAT
HESITATION.

300
00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:19,777
- WE HAVE TO DANCE.
- NO, WE DON'T.

301
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:23,281
<i> YO QUIERO BAILAR</i>
<i> CONTIGO.</i>

302
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:25,249
( speaking Spanish )

303
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:32,357
WHAT?

304
00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:35,726
ALLOW ME TO TRANSLATE USING
THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE...

305
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,661
OF DANCE!

306
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,382
<i> ( glass shatters )</i>

307
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:04,655
YA!  YA!  YA!

308
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:07,225
HAI-YA-YA-YA-YA-YA!

309
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:10,261
OH, GOD, WE'RE GOOD!

310
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,933
( guests cheering )

311
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:19,703
OH, MY--  OH, MY GOD,
YOU'RE BURNING UP.

312
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,805
THAT'S RIGHT.
I'M BURNING UP
FOR YOU, BABY.

313
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:25,776
- I'M TAKING YOU HOME
AND PUTTING YOU TO BED.
- ALL RIGHT!

314
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,112
WE'RE HAVING SEX
TONIGHT!

315
00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:30,048
AHH!

316
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:36,087
( gasps )
OH, WHAT A LOVELY
PLACE YOU HAVE.

317
00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:39,323
LIE DOWN.

318
00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:42,093
OH, NOT THERE.

319
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:44,328
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
YOU WERE SICK?

320
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:46,330
- DR. ALBRIGHT?
- WHAT?

321
00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:49,167
I'M SICK.

322
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:52,270
DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS
WHAT YOU DID WAS?

323
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:54,539
I KNOW, BECAUSE I
THINK I'M DYING.

324
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:57,007
- OH, SHUSH.
- NO, NO, LET ME TALK.

325
00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:59,277
I HAVE TO TELL
YOU SOMETHING.

326
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:02,547
I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH
TIME I HAVE LEFT,
SO LISTEN CLOSELY.

327
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,783
IF YOU WAKE UP
IN THE MORNING

328
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:09,287
AND FIND A QUIVERING PURPLE
MASS WEARING MY WATCH,

329
00:18:10,856 --> 00:18:12,823
DON'T TOUCH IT.

330
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,961
I WON'T.

331
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,568
DID YOU DRINK
THIS ENTIRE BOTTLE?

332
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:26,704
- I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS.
- NO, YOU HAVE TO LIE DOWN.

333
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:29,640
I COME FROM
A DIFFERENT WORLD.

334
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:32,676
AND THIS IS NEWS?

335
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:36,180
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I'M AN ALIEN
FROM ANOTHER PLANET.

336
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:38,149
I'M TELLING YOU
THIS BECAUSE...

337
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,852
I LOVE YOU.

338
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,893
WHATEVER YOU SAY.

339
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:55,766
SO MUCH TROUBLE,

340
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:58,102
BUT YOU ARE SWEET.

341
00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,070
I KNOW.

342
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:08,346
GOOD MORNING, NINA.
YOU'LL BE GLAD TO KNOW
I'M FEELING MUCH BETTER.

343
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:12,283
I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU.
I'M GOING HOME.

344
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,752
- WHY?
- BECAUSE I'M SICK,
THAT'S WHY.

345
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,920
REALLY?
WHAT A COINCIDENCE.

346
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:19,089
YOU'RE GETTING SICK
JUST AS I'M GETTING BETTER.

347
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:23,427
( coughs )

348
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:26,730
HAVE A NICE DAY.

349
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:33,103
DR. SOLOMON, I SEE
YOU'RE FEELING BETTER.

350
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:36,040
- YES, MUCH.
- THANK YOU FOR COMING
TO THE WEDDING WITH ME.

351
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,742
I KNOW YOU WERE SICK.
IT MEANT A LOT TO ME.

352
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:41,745
IT WAS MY PLEASURE.

353
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:45,082
YOU SEEM TO HAVE
MORE TEETH THAN USUAL.

354
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:47,552
YOU DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING
YOU SAID TO ME, DO YOU?

355
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,520
DID I SAY ANYTHING
I SHOULDN'T HAVE?

356
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,889
ACTUALLY, YOU SAID
A LOT OF THINGS.

357
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:54,124
COULD YOU BE
A LITTLE MORE SPECIFIC?

358
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:57,695
LET'S JUST SAY YOU
WERE VERY REVEALING.

359
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,697
I WAS DELIRIOUS.

360
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:02,266
I WAS RAMBLING.

361
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:04,402
WHAT DID I SAY?

362
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:06,337
YOU SAID...

363
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:10,174
"I LOVE YOU."

364
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:14,612
ISN'T THAT SILLY?

365
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,852
( both laughing )

366
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:36,667
THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE.
I WASN'T SURE WE WERE
GONNA MAKE IT.

367
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,669
WHEN I THOUGHT
I WAS GOING TO DIE,

368
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:41,905
I TOLD DR. ALBRIGHT
THAT I LOVED HER.
WHY DID I DO THAT?

369
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,907
WHEN YOU FACE DEATH,

370
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,611
YOU REASSESS
YOUR PRIORITIES.

371
00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:50,514
I'VE DECIDED NOT TO GET
THOSE BREAST IMPLANTS.

372
00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:52,583
YOU HAVE TO ADMIRE
THESE HUMANS.

373
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,585
THEIR LIVES
ARE SO FRAGILE.

374
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:58,322
YET, THEY'RE SO WILLING
TO COMMIT THEIR HEARTS
TO ONE ANOTHER FOR A LIFETIME.

375
00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:01,726
OR AN AFTERNOON
WITH SOME PETRI DISH
IN A MINISKIRT.

376
00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:04,495
HEY, AT LEAST I'M
GETTIN' SOME HERE,
ALL RIGHT?

377
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:08,733
WELL SAID.

378
00:21:08,735 --> 00:21:11,569
<i> ♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO</i>
<i> SAY YOU LOVE ME ♪</i>

379
00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:14,872
<i> ♪ JUST BE CLOSE AT HAND ♪</i>

380
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:18,108
<i> ♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO</i>
<i> STAY FOREVER ♪</i>

381
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,678
<i> ♪ I WILL UNDERSTAND. ♪</i>

382
00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:24,582
<i> ( theme music playing )</i>