1
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,704
( giggles )
LOOK AT THIS "GARFIELD."

2
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:07,973
( speaking French )

3
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:13,678
( all laughing
with French accent )

4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,249
I DON'T CARE WHAT
LANGUAGE YOU SPEAK,
THAT CAT'S FUNNY.

5
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:19,284
WHAT HAVE YOU
GOT THERE, HARRY?

6
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:22,954
YESTERDAY I WAS
EXPLORING THE PARK,
AND I FOUND THIS STONE.

7
00:00:22,956 --> 00:00:24,956
LOOK AT IT.
IT'S BEEN WORN

8
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:28,393
TO A PERFECT SPHERE
BY THE ELEMENTS
AND DIMPLED BY TIME.

9
00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:30,762
HARRY, THAT'S
A GOLF BALL.

10
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:34,199
YOU'VE GOT WAY TOO MUCH
FREE TIME ON YOUR HANDS.

11
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:37,669
WELL, YOU KNOW, DICK, I'VE TRIED
A LOT OF DIFFERENT THINGS
SINCE WE GOT TO EARTH,

12
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:41,240
AND I'VE MADE A DISCOVERY--
I'M NOT GOOD AT ANYTHING.

13
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,642
THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING
THAT YOU CAN DO.

14
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,345
HERE, LET ME LOOK
THROUGH THE WANT ADS.

15
00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:48,813
- WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
- I'M MAKING
BLUEBERRY MUFFINS.

16
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:51,216
- SMELLS LIKE THEY'RE DONE.
- NO, THE TIMER
DIDN'T GO OFF.

17
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:53,818
- YES, BUT LIEUTENANT--
- I HAVE INCINERATED
ENTIRE ARMIES.

18
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:56,655
I THINK I CAN HANDLE
AN OVEN.

19
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,657
I'M GLAD TO HEAR
YOU SAY THAT

20
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:01,993
- 'CAUSE I SIGNED YOU UP
FOR A BAKE SALE.
- WHAT'S A BAKE SALE?

21
00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:04,929
IT'S JUST AN ATTEMPT
TO REVIVE A FAILING
EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM

22
00:01:04,931 --> 00:01:06,965
THROUGH PARENTAL
INVOLVEMENT.

23
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:09,934
A FINE CAUSE.
I'M THERE.

24
00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:12,571
I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD
CHECK ON THOSE MUFFINS.

25
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,507
THE BOX SAID 15 MINUTES.
YOU DON'T ARGUE
WITH THE BOX.

26
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,509
HERE'S SOMETHING
THAT YOU COULD DO.

27
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,544
THEY WANT SOMEBODY
TO SWEEP UP
THE BURGER PALACE.

28
00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:21,546
OH, SURE,

29
00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:24,483
AFTER ABOUT FOUR YEARS
OF GRAD SCHOOL MAYBE.

30
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,518
-<i> ( timer dings )</i>
- NOW THEY'RE DONE.

31
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,220
OOH!  LOOK AT THIS.

32
00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:31,290
HERE'S A JOB I CAN DO.

33
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,659
"POLICE SEEK THIRD GUNMAN."

34
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:40,198
TOMORROW I'M GOING
TO MARCH RIGHT DOWN
TO THE POLICE STATION

35
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:44,169
- AND TELL THEM I'M THE MAN
THEY'RE LOOKING FOR.
- GOOD FOR YOU.

36
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,171
-<i> ( smoke alarm beeping )</i>
- THEY'RE READY,

37
00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:49,007
BUT THEY'RE JUST GOING
TO BE A LITTLE BURNT.
( coughs )

38
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:51,009
<i> ( '50s rock music playing )</i>

39
00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,780
- THIS IS THE BAKE SALE
COMMITTEE, RIGHT?
- YES.

40
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:32,417
- I DON'T BELIEVE
I'VE SEEN YOU BEFORE.
- I DON'T BELIEVE YOU'RE BLOND.

41
00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:39,023
OKAY, EVERYBODY,
LET'S TAKE OUR SEATS

42
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:41,126
AND GET STARTED.

43
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:43,962
AS YOU KNOW,
THIS IS MY SIXTH YEAR

44
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:46,632
AS CHAIRMAN
OF THE BAKE SALE.

45
00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,634
AND, UM...

46
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:51,536
I THINK WE'VE DONE
PRETTY DARN WELL.

47
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:55,140
- LAST YEAR, WE RAISED $500.
-<i> ( all murmuring favorably )</i>

48
00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:57,008
HOW MUCH DID YOU
MAKE BEFORE THAT?

49
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,010
WELL, I DON'T
WANT TO BRAG,

50
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:02,914
BUT WE'VE MADE ROUGHLY $500
EACH OF THE LAST SIX YEARS.

51
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,949
UH-HUH.  SO WHAT
YOU'RE SAYING IS,

52
00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:07,319
THE GROUP IS STAGNATING
UNDER YOUR LEADERSHIP.

53
00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:11,222
YOU'RE NEW AROUND HERE.

54
00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,492
LET'S START THE MEETING,
SHALL WE?

55
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:15,560
ANY THOUGHTS
ON THIS YEAR'S SALE?

56
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,562
YEAH, I HAVE A THOUGHT.

57
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:19,831
THIS GROUP ISN'T ADVANCING.
IT'S RETREATING.

58
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,301
YOU DROPPED
THE BALL, SISTER.

59
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:24,403
I AM A MASTER CHEF.

60
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:27,472
I TRAINED AT THE CULINARY
INSTITUTE OF PITTSBURGH.

61
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:30,041
I THINK I KNOW
A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT BAKING.

62
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,811
OKAY, WELL, HERE'S WHAT
I KNOW ABOUT BAKING: ZIP.

63
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,913
THESE TROOPS
NEED A LEADER,

64
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:38,149
NOT SOME CHIRPY,
WEAK-CHINNED,
UNDERACHIEVING DRONE.

65
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:40,084
NO OFFENSE.

66
00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:43,021
LOOK, IF YOU AIM
FOR 500 BUCKS,
YOU GET 500 BUCKS.

67
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,089
BUT THERE'S A SAYING
WHERE I COME FROM--

68
00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:48,894
"WHEN YOU WANT TO PUNCH
SOMEONE IN THE NOSE, YOU AIM
FOR THE BACK OF THE HEAD."

69
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,896
THAT IS, IF THEY
HAVE A HEAD.

70
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:54,365
SO AIM FOR 10 GRAND
AND DON'T SETTLE FOR
ANYTHING LESS THAN FIVE.

71
00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:56,768
UM, GRACE...

72
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,937
I THINK SHE SHOULD
BE IN CHARGE.

73
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:08,046
- AH!  GOOD MORNING, NINA.
- GOOD MORNING.

74
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:11,683
NINA, MY BROTHER HARRY IS
TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING
TO KEEP HIMSELF BUSY.

75
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:14,385
I WAS JUST WONDERING,
HOW DID YOU GET THIS JOB?

76
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:16,521
I FOUND A MAGIC LAMP
ON THE BEACH,

77
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:18,657
AND THIS WAS
MY FIRST WISH.

78
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,659
WONDERFUL.

79
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:24,195
HOW CAN HARRY GET HOLD
OF A MAGIC LAMP?

80
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,867
- GOOD MORNING,
DR. SOLOMON.
- AH, DR. ALBRIGHT.

81
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,869
THERE'S SOMETHING DIFFERENT
ABOUT YOU THIS MORNING.

82
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:33,805
- I HAVE A NEW BLOUSE.
- NO, THAT'S NOT IT.

83
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:37,408
AND I HOPE YOU DIDN'T PAY
TOO MUCH FOR IT.

84
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:39,778
THAT'S IT!
IT'S THE BOX.
WHAT'S IN IT?

85
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,080
OH, THIS?
PAINTING SUPPLIES.

86
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:44,983
I'M TAKING A PAINTING CLASS.
I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT IT.

87
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,151
SO, YOU'RE BAD.

88
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:49,153
I WOULDN'T SAY
I WAS BAD.

89
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:52,156
YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE
INCREDIBLY HIGH STANDARDS

90
00:04:52,158 --> 00:04:54,826
AND I TEND TO BE
VERY CRITICAL OF MYSELF.

91
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,828
BUT, AS AN AMATEUR,

92
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,897
I'VE DEMONSTRATED
QUITE A BIT OF POTENTIAL.

93
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,832
SO, YOU'RE BAD.

94
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:04,002
YEAH,

95
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:06,004
BUT ART IS
ESSENTIALLY SUBJECTIVE.

96
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:08,006
THERE IS NO GOOD OR BAD.

97
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:11,342
- SO IF YOU STINK, YOU'RE
STILL ALLOWED TO DO IT?
- WELL...

98
00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:13,945
- THAT SOUNDS PERFECT.
- ARE YOU INTERESTED?

99
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,947
ME?  DON'T BE
RIDICULOUS.

100
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,882
- I WAS TALKING
ABOUT HARRY.
- OH.

101
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:21,452
OH, YOU THOUGHT<i> I</i>
WAS WORRIED ABOUT BEING
LESS THAN PERFECT?

102
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,788
( laughs )
THAT'S RICH.

103
00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:25,690
<i> ( laughing continues )</i>

104
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,927
HERE'S HOW
IT'S GOING TO WORK.

105
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,830
DOORS OPEN, CROWD COME IN.
FIRST THING THEY SEE:
FINGER PASTRIES.

106
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,431
THEY NOSH A LITTLE,
THEY'RE DELIGHTED.

107
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,600
THEY CONTINUE ON
TO THE LAYER CAKES.

108
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:38,169
THE SMELL HITS 'EM,
THEY'RE DROOLING
LIKE RABID DOGS.

109
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,171
THEN THE HEAVY ARTILLERY.

110
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,941
THEY REACH THE WALNUT
BREAD, THE ALMOND BARS,
THE CASHEW SQUARES.

111
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,010
BANG!  WE GOT 'EM
BY THE ROASTED NUTS.

112
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,180
- CARRY ON, LIEUTENANT.
- THANK YOU, SIR.

113
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,415
SALLY, THAT WAS
ANDY LARSON ON THE PHONE.

114
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:54,619
DID YOU REALLY MAKE HIS MOM
DO ONE-HANDED PUSH-UPS
TILL SHE CRIED?

115
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,791
YES.  SHE HAD TO BE BROKEN
FOR THE SAKE OF THE UNIT.

116
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,727
YOU KNOW, THIS ART
IS FASCINATING.

117
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:04,829
EVERY ERA, EVERY CULTURE,

118
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,865
THEY ALL HAVE
THEIR OWN ART.

119
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:10,035
- WHAT DRIVES THEM
TO CREATE THIS?
- NAKED WOMEN.

120
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,403
THESE ARE NOT
NAKED WOMEN.

121
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:14,438
THEY'RE NUDES.

122
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:17,942
NUDITY IS THE ARTIST'S
PASSIONATE CELEBRATION
OF THE HUMAN FORM.

123
00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:19,610
WELL, PARTY ON.

124
00:06:21,347 --> 00:06:23,815
DICK, WHY IS IT THAT YOU SEE
NUDE PEOPLE IN MUSEUMS,

125
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:26,484
- BUT THEY NEVER
SHOW 'EM ON TV?
- SURE, THEY DO,

126
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:28,720
BUT NEVER IN COMEDIES,
ONLY IN DRAMAS,

127
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:31,756
AND, EVEN THEN,
ONLY WHEN THE RATINGS SAG.

128
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:33,825
HARRY.

129
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,827
HARRY, WHAT'S WRONG?

130
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,897
I GOT FIRED FROM MY JOB
AT THE KIDS' PIZZA PLACE.

131
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,700
- OH, NO.
- YES.  THEY DRESSED ME UP
LIKE A GIANT MOUSE,

132
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:44,202
SO I FIGURE I'LL JUST
GET INTO CHARACTER,

133
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:47,271
AND THEN THEY COMPLAIN
WHEN I EAT OFF THE FLOOR.

134
00:06:47,273 --> 00:06:49,941
DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT.
I FOUND SOMETHING ELSE
FOR YOU TO DO.

135
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,010
YOU'RE COMING WITH ME
TO AN ART CLASS.

136
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:54,846
ART?  I WASN'T CREATIVE
ENOUGH TO BE A RODENT.

137
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:57,448
NO, NO, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO BE CREATIVE TO DO ART.

138
00:06:57,450 --> 00:07:00,619
YOU JUST HAVE TO
BE A CERTAIN TYPE.
YOU'VE BEEN OSTRACIZED,

139
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:03,688
SPIT UPON, AND STRANGERS
REPEATEDLY TELL YOU
THAT YOU'RE CRAZY.

140
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:06,625
YOU'VE GOT
EVERYTHING IT TAKES.

141
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:09,527
"THE LAST SUPPER"
BY LEONARDO DA VINCI.

142
00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:13,364
BOY, THE GUY IN THE MIDDLE
REALLY KNOWS HOW TO THROW
A PARTY, HUH?

143
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,533
AND HE'S SITTING
IN FRONT OF THE ARCHWAY.

144
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:18,469
- SO WHAT?
- THE NEGATIVE SPACE
IN THE ARCHWAY

145
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:20,471
DRAWS OUR FOCUS.

146
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:22,573
AND THE HILLS
OUTSIDE THE ARCHWAY

147
00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:25,143
FADE INTO A BLUISH HAZE,
CREATING DISTANCE.

148
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:28,479
SO IT'S SORT OF LIKE
IT'S NOT JUST A PARTY,

149
00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:30,715
IT'S A GOING-AWAY PARTY.

150
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,520
- HARRY, I'M IMPRESSED.
- MMM, ME, TOO.

151
00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:37,522
CAN WE BUY IT?

152
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:40,458
DON'T BE SILLY.
AFTER ONE WEEK,
WE'D BE SICK OF IT.

153
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,966
OH, DICK, THIS
IS WONDERFUL.

154
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,401
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HOW GOOD IT FEELS

155
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:53,571
TO DO SOMETHING
FOR THE FIRST TIME
AND NOT SUCK AT IT?

156
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:58,576
WELL, HELLO.
IT'S NICE TO SEE
A COUPLE OF FRESH FACES.

157
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,812
SQUEEZE MY HEAD.
IT'S SOFT.

158
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:09,888
OH, HARRY, THAT'S
REALLY INTERESTING.

159
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:11,890
- I REMEMBER THAT.
- YEAH.

160
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:14,559
THAT WAS THAT THING
THAT BURST OUT
OF THAT GUY'S THORAX.

161
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:16,661
AND WE HIT IT AND HIT IT
AND HIT IT...

162
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,629
Both:
AND IT JUST WOULDN'T DIE.

163
00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:21,532
( both laughing )

164
00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:24,602
IT'S... A FAMILY JOKE.
SORRY.

165
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,806
ALL RIGHT, CLASS,
LET'S TAKE A LOOK

166
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,808
AT WHAT WE'VE
BEEN WORKING ON
FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS.

167
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,177
- WHO WOULD LIKE
TO BE FIRST?
- MARY.

168
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,112
( students groan )

169
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:39,184
I CALL THIS PAINTING
"SPIRITS OF SPRING."

170
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,519
WHEN I WAS GROWING UP
IN INDIANA

171
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,455
AND ALL THE OTHER KIDS
WOULD EXCLUDE ME
FROM THEIR PLAYING,

172
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,791
I'D SIT IN MY YARD
AND ANXIOUSLY AWAIT

173
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:50,261
THE TINY CROCUSES TO POP
THEIR HAPPY HEADS OUT
FROM THEIR WINTER SLEEP.

174
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,931
OH!  THAT'S
A BEAUTIFUL STORY.

175
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,999
- OH!
- IT'S A LOUSY PAINTING,

176
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:57,368
BUT IT IS
A BEAUTIFUL STORY.

177
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,304
IT'S VERY NICE,
DR. ALBRIGHT.

178
00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:02,974
- ANYONE HAVE ANY COMMENTS?
- UH, WELL, I--

179
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,476
OH, NEVER MIND.
IT'S STUPID.

180
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:08,646
WELL, DON'T LET THAT
STOP YOU, HARRY.
GO AHEAD.

181
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:10,648
WELL, UM...
I JUST FIND

182
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:13,351
THAT MY FOCUS IS DRAWN
TO THE UPPER RIGHT CORNER,

183
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:15,754
BUT WHEN IT GETS THERE,
THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE.

184
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,889
MAYBE YOU COULD ADD
A SPLASH OF YELLOW

185
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:21,059
TO CARRY OUT THE MOTIF
YOU'VE ALREADY ESTABLISHED.

186
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:25,230
- BUT WHAT DO I KNOW?
- ACTUALLY, THAT'S
A VERY GOOD SUGGESTION.

187
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,232
- REALLY?
- REALLY?

188
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:30,534
YES!  HARRY,
YOU'VE REALLY OPENED
SOMETHING UP FOR ME.

189
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:32,771
I KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

190
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:36,207
THANK YOU.
WOW!  THANK YOU!

191
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:42,280
YOU WORK WITH HER.
IS THIS SARCASM?

192
00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:48,786
LOW-MASS BLACK HOLES FORM

193
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:52,123
ONLY WHEN MATTER
IS COMPRESSED
INTO ENORMOUS DENSITIES

194
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,192
BY VERY LARGE
EXTERNAL PRESSURES--

195
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:57,728
AND THIS DEMONSTRATES
WHICH PRINCIPLE OF
QUANTUM MATTER PHYSICS?

196
00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:01,799
( sighs )

197
00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:05,036
I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT.
IT HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH GEOMETRIC COSMOLOGY.

198
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,138
ANYONE?

199
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:10,174
( sighs )
IF NO ONE ANSWERS,
I'LL HAVE TO PICK SOMEONE.

200
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:13,144
SOMEONE PLEASE ANSWER.
PLEASE RAISE YOUR HAND.

201
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,814
PLEASE, SOMEONE.
ANSWER, PLEASE.

202
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:18,449
LEON, SINCE YOU'RE TALKING,
I'LL ASK YOU.

203
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,719
- WHAT'S THE PRINCIPLE?
- WETNESS?

204
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:24,622
- NO.  TRY AGAIN.
- DR. SOLOMON, WHY DO YOU
KEEP CALLING ON LEON?

205
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,726
IT'S JUST NOT
FUNNY ANYMORE.

206
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,728
THAT'S NONSENSE.

207
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,896
LEON, THE ONLY WAY OF
UNDERSTANDING THE UNIVERSE

208
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:34,232
IS TO FIND THE LIMITS
OF YOUR OWN INTELLIGENCE.

209
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,267
I THINK I'VE
REACHED MY LIMIT.

210
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,338
- BUG.
- YES, DR. SOLOMON?

211
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,240
- YOU'RE HIDING SOMETHING.
- IT'S JUST A DOODLE.

212
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,776
A DOODLE?

213
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,778
WHY, THIS IS
A PICTURE OF ME

214
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:49,714
WITH ANTLERS AND SOMETHING
COMING OUT OF MY BUTTOCKS.

215
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:52,984
IT'S A TAIL.

216
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,986
WELL, IT IS.

217
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,688
THAT'S BRILLIANT!
THE LINES, THE CONTOURS,

218
00:10:57,690 --> 00:11:00,925
THE WAY YOU'VE
PICKED UP THE ESSENCE
OF MY RUGGED GOOD LOOKS.

219
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:03,394
- IT'S JUST A DOODLE.
- JUST A DOODLE?

220
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,964
AND ALAN THICKE
IS JUST AN ACTOR.

221
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:08,800
<i> ( class bell rings )</i>

222
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:11,602
TOMORROW I WANT
EVERYONE TO BRING IN
THREE SHARPENED PENCILS,

223
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:14,005
AND BUG WILL TEACH
US ALL HOW TO DOODLE.

224
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,340
ALL RIGHT.

225
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,027
DAMN!

226
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,434
I'VE TASTED YOUR BUTTER
COOKIES, MRS. STEVENSON,

227
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,737
AND, YES, I<i> CAN</i> BELIEVE
IT'S NOT BUTTER.

228
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,175
USE A BUTTER SUBSTITUTE,
AND YOU'LL FIND
YOURSELF SAYING,

229
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:54,079
"I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS BOUNCED
OUT OF THIS BAKE SALE
RIGHT ONTO MY ASS."

230
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:56,915
GET WITH THE PROGRAM.

231
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,822
TOMMY,

232
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,924
DO YOU EVER DOODLE?

233
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,333
WHY?  WAS I IN
THE BATHROOM TOO LONG?

234
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:21,405
I-- I CAN'T DOODLE.

235
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:25,210
WELL, DICK,
YOU'RE KIND OF OLD.

236
00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:28,179
OLD?  PICASSO DOODLED
ON TABLECLOTHS

237
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:30,181
LATE INTO HIS 60s.

238
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,683
- THAT'S DISGUSTING.
- I KNOW.

239
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:35,120
I JUST CAN'T DRAW.

240
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:37,789
OH, DOODLING!  OH.

241
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:41,126
IT'S INEXPLICABLE.

242
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:44,763
I, WHO BESTRIDE THIS WORLD
LIKE AN INTELLECTUAL COLOSSUS,

243
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:48,199
I, WHO MAKE LESSER MEN QUIVER
IN AWE OF MY CRANIAL PROWESS,

244
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,268
I, WHO--

245
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,103
I'VE FORGOTTEN MY POINT.

246
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,039
DICK,
I INVENTED A NEW COLOR.

247
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:57,208
I COMBINED
RED AND YELLOW.

248
00:12:57,210 --> 00:13:00,478
I CALL IT RED-YELLOW.

249
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,314
- I CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW
IT IN ART CLASS.
- GREAT!

250
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:07,218
MIX UP A WHOLE VAT OF IT.
GO!  HOP TO IT,

251
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:10,421
YOU IRONICALLY-GIFTED
CHOWDERHEAD.

252
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:14,725
- WHY DID I SAY THAT?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
- COULD IT BE--

253
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:17,595
AND THIS IS JUST A WILD GUESS--
THAT HARRY IS WAY BETTER
AT SOMETHING THAN YOU?

254
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,730
GIVE ME SOME CREDIT.
I'M THE HIGH COMMANDER.

255
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:22,000
I DON'T ENGAGE IN
PETTY RIVALRY.

256
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:25,069
LOOK, DICK, YOU'RE ACTUALLY
YOUNGER THAN ME, RIGHT?

257
00:13:25,071 --> 00:13:28,006
- RIGHT.
- BUT ON THIS MISSION
YOU GOT TO BE TALLER.

258
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:31,642
NOW, DON'T YOU THINK
THAT EATS MY LUNCH
JUST A LITTLE BIT?

259
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:35,113
- YOU DON'T SEE ME WHINING.
- HOW CAN YOU BE SO COOL
ABOUT IT?

260
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:37,448
'CAUSE I'M OLDER
THAN YOU, LITTLE BUDDY.

261
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:43,321
TOMMY, I GOT
A RECONNAISSANCE REPORT
FROM MRS. NADLE.

262
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,556
OUR ONLY REAL COMPETITION
IS THE KISSING BOOTH.

263
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,892
THIS YEAR
THEY HAVE HOOKERS.

264
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:52,230
- SALLY, THOSE ARE CHEERLEADERS.
- NOT IF THEY'RE CHARGING.

265
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:57,135
BANANA NUT MUFFIN HEADS.

266
00:13:57,137 --> 00:14:00,138
- ARE THERE TWO PARTS BANANA
TO EVERY ONE PART WALNUT?
- YES, MA'AM.

267
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,140
- I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
- YES, MA'AM!

268
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:09,380
MMM, MIGHTY TASTY RUGULA,
MRS. GREENSTEIN.

269
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,649
THANK YOU, MA'AM.

270
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:17,521
NOW, BEFORE WE OPEN
THE DOORS, I JUST HAVE
ONE MORE THING TO SAY.

271
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,890
YOU ARE, BY FAR,
THE SADDEST, SORRIEST,

272
00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:21,892
MOST PATHETIC GROUP
OF MOTHERS...

273
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,696
I HAVE EVER HAD
THE HONOR OF COMMANDING,

274
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,631
<i> AND I'LL NEVER</i>
<i> FORGET YOU.</i>

275
00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:28,799
MUSIC.

276
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,134
<i> ( "Ride of</i>
<i> the Valkyries" playing )</i>

277
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:32,470
DOORS.

278
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:35,706
ALL RIGHT, LADIES,
TAKE NO PRISONERS

279
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,641
OR PERSONAL CHECKS.

280
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,016
DICK, ARE YOU MAD AT ME?

281
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:51,922
- NO.
- LATELY YOU GET
THIS WEIRD GRIN,

282
00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:55,426
LIKE YOU'RE HIDING SOMETHING.
IT'S NOT ABOUT ART CLASS,
IS IT?

283
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:58,362
ART CLASS?  WHY, NO,
I DON'T CARE ABOUT ART.

284
00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:01,599
LET'S NOT FORGET WHAT
ONE OF THE GREAT THINKERS
OF THE 20th CENTURY SAID--

285
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:04,335
"ART IS NO DAMN GOOD."

286
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:07,305
- WHAT GREAT THINKER SAID THAT?
- JESSE HELMS.

287
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:10,974
BESIDES, I'VE MADE
A COMMAND DECISION.

288
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:13,611
WE'RE NOT GOING
TO ART CLASS ANYMORE.
IT'S NOT PRODUCTIVE.

289
00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:16,214
WE'VE EXPERIENCED IT.
LET'S MOVE ON.

290
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,182
ALL RIGHTY.

291
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:25,456
PERMISSION TO SPEAK,
HIGH COMMANDER?

292
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:29,159
- WHAT DID YOU SAY?
- PERMISSION TO SPEAK, DICK?

293
00:15:29,161 --> 00:15:31,596
YOU'VE NEVER ASKED
PERMISSION TO SPEAK BEFORE.

294
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:34,565
DICK, THIS ART THING
MEANS A LOT TO ME,

295
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,567
AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.

296
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:39,403
ALL I KNOW IS THAT
I LIKE DOING IT.

297
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:42,906
SO I WANT TO GO TOMORROW
WHETHER YOU GO OR NOT.

298
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,777
( whispers )
I'M SORRY.

299
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:51,482
THERE'S NO NEED TO BE SORRY
FOR SOMETHING YOU'RE GOOD AT.

300
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,951
- YOU GO TO CLASS.
- REALLY?

301
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,919
YE-ES.

302
00:15:58,023 --> 00:16:00,991
IF THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU
HAPPY, THEN I'M HAPPY.

303
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,995
OHH, THANKS, DICK.

304
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:08,165
MMM, NOW THERE'S
THE SMILE I LIKE.

305
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,745
YOU'RE SOAKING WET.

306
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,913
AM I?

307
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:25,249
YOU'VE BEEN ACTING STRANGELY.
WHAT'S WRONG?

308
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:27,418
IT'S KIND OF HARD
TO TALK ABOUT.

309
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,587
I HAVE THIS... FRIEND

310
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:32,723
WHOSE BROTHER HARRY IS
A MUCH BETTER ARTIST
THAN HE IS.

311
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:35,092
OH, SO THIS IS
ABOUT YOU AND HARRY.

312
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:37,361
AM I THAT TRANSPARENT?

313
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:40,298
I'M GOING TO TELL YOU
A LITTLE STORY.

314
00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:44,968
MY PARTNER
IN DANCE CLASS IN COLLEGE

315
00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:46,970
WAS A GIRL NAMED NADIA.

316
00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:49,340
SHE GOT ALL THE LEADS,
ALL THE ATTENTION.

317
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,776
PEOPLE WOULD
CALL HER LITHE,

318
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,645
WILLOWY, LEGGY.

319
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,015
I REHEARSED WITH HER.

320
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,150
I SHOWED HER A TREMENDOUS
AMOUNT OF SUPPORT.

321
00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:02,219
I WENT TO ALL
THE RECITALS.

322
00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:04,288
SHE'D LEAP AND TWIRL
ON THE STAGE,

323
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:07,458
EXUDING THIS INCREDIBLE
SENSUAL GRACE,

324
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,961
WHILE I SAT THERE,
A FROZEN SMILE ON MY FACE,

325
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:13,431
LOATHING HER
FOR MY OWN INADEQUACIES.

326
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,366
WELL, YOU HAVE
ANY PICTURES OF HER?

327
00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:19,169
THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

328
00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:20,738
THE THING
I CAME TO REALIZE

329
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,407
WAS THAT SHE
NEEDED ME THERE.

330
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:26,276
MY SUPPORT INSPIRED
HER TO DANCE.

331
00:17:26,278 --> 00:17:29,012
- THAT WAS ENOUGH FOR YOU?
- WELL, LOOK AT THE "MONA LISA."

332
00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:31,014
SHE NEVER PICKED UP
A PAINTBRUSH,

333
00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:33,617
AND YET SHE INSPIRED
THE MOST FAMOUS PAINTING
IN THE WORLD.

334
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:36,454
- SO IT'S LIKE WHISTLER
AND HIS MOTHER.
- EXACTLY.

335
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,556
- VAN GOGH AND
HIS POTATO EATERS.
- YES.

336
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,558
MICHELANGELO
AND HIS, UH...

337
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,728
CEILING FULL OF NAKED GUYS
TRYING TO TOUCH FINGERS.

338
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,730
- MORE OR LESS.
- INSPIRATION.

339
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,965
- YES.
- YES!

340
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:50,701
THANK YOU!
THANK YOU!

341
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:53,937
THAT LITTLE STORY
REALLY HELPED ME.
THANK YOU!

342
00:17:53,939 --> 00:17:55,673
SURE.

343
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,976
OH, AND BY THE WAY,
I LOVE YOUR STUBBY
LITTLE LEGS.

344
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,219
HARRY, WERE
YOUR PARENTS ARTISTIC?

345
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:12,456
NOT REALLY.
MY MOTHER WAS
A COLD RECEPTACLE,

346
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:14,992
AND MY FATHER
WAS JUST A MACHINE.

347
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:18,629
WELL, WE ALL HAVE
OUR BAGGAGE.

348
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:21,832
BUT DON'T FORGET,
OUT OF SUFFERING

349
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,834
COMES CREATIVITY.

350
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,836
YOU CAN'T SPELL "PAINTING"
WITHOUT "PAIN."

351
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,838
MMM...

352
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,073
OR "TING."

353
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:35,312
OH, DICK, YOU CAME.

354
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:37,982
- ARE YOU GOING TO PAINT?
- EVEN BETTER.

355
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:41,585
I NOW ACCEPT THE FACT
THAT I DO NOT HAVE
ARTISTIC TALENT,

356
00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:43,821
LIKE YOU, LIKE HARRY.

357
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:46,423
I KNOW NOW THAT
I WILL NEVER BE ABLE

358
00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:48,559
TO BE A PART
OF A CLASS LIKE THIS,

359
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:50,661
BUT DR. ALBRIGHT
HAS MADE ME SEE

360
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:54,231
THE JOY THAT I CAN TAKE
IN INSPIRING OTHER PEOPLE.

361
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:57,001
NO, I WILL NEVER BE
AN ARTIST,

362
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:59,537
BUT I CAN MAKE
A GREAT SUBJECT.

363
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,505
PREPARE TO MEET...

364
00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,473
YOUR MUSE!

365
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:24,227
OH, GREAT...

366
00:19:24,229 --> 00:19:26,196
I'M GONNA NEED
MORE PINK.

367
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:30,434
YOU'RE TELLING ME

368
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:32,937
DR. SOLOMON
POSED FOR THIS?

369
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,674
- YES.
- MM-HMM.

370
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,643
MMM, WELL, HELLO,
DR. SOLOMON.

371
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,712
WELL, HELLO, NINA!

372
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:46,717
WELL, I'LL LEAVE
YOU THREE ALONE.

373
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,289
OH!  THIS IS WONDERFUL.

374
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:54,592
I REALLY DID INSPIRE
YOU, DIDN'T I?

375
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:58,028
- YES.
- YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE TIME
I WAS STANDING THERE,

376
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:01,198
I KEPT THINKING ABOUT
HOW YOU INSPIRED NADIA.

377
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,901
- WHATEVER HAPPENED TO HER?
- ALCOHOLIC,

378
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:05,903
TRAILER PARK,
SEVEN KIDS.

379
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,170
( laughs )

380
00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:09,539
NO, IT REALLY
IS A SHAME.

381
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,078
WHAT DO YOU CALL IT?

382
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,279
"MIDDLE-AGED NAKED GUY
WHO CAN'T PAINT."

383
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,754
LEADING THAT BAKE SALE
WAS EXHILARATING.

384
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,423
THOSE WOMEN WERE CRYING
OUT FOR LEADERSHIP.

385
00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:29,493
YOU KNOW,
OVER HALF THIS PLANET'S
POPULATION IS FEMALE.

386
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:31,895
IF I COULD JUST
HARNESS THEIR POWER,

387
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,965
WE COULD EASILY TURN MEN
INTO A SLAVE RACE.

388
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:40,104
OR MAYBE JUST TALK HAIR.

389
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:43,573
YOU KNOW, I'VE DISCOVERED

390
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,643
THAT HERE ON EARTH
EVERY HUMAN HAS

391
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:47,745
HIS OWN TALENTS
AND HIS OWN FLAWS.

392
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,213
THE SMART ONES HAVE LEARNED
TO USE THEIR TALENTS,

393
00:20:50,215 --> 00:20:52,215
BUT THE HAPPY ONES

394
00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:54,317
HAVE LEARNED
TO ACCEPT THEIR FLAWS.

395
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:56,319
I KNOW I'VE ACCEPTED MINE.

396
00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:58,756
PERMISSION TO MENTION
YOUR RECEDING HAIRLINE, SIR?

397
00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:02,893
PERMISSION DENIED.

398
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:06,329
WELL, HERE'S
MY LATEST PAINTING.
IT'S A STILL LIFE.

399
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:08,732
- THAT'S VERY INTERESTING.
- AND VERY DARK.

400
00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:10,734
IT'S A BUNCH
OF ROTTEN FRUIT.

401
00:21:10,736 --> 00:21:14,571
YEAH, I REALLY GOT
TO LEARN TO PAINT FASTER.

402
00:21:14,573 --> 00:21:16,674
<i> ( "Ride of the Valkyries"</i>
<i> playing )</i>

403
00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:23,213
<i> ( '50s rock music playing )</i>