1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:03,768
GUESS WHAT, YOU GUYS,
I GOT A NEW JOB.

2
00:00:03,770 --> 00:00:07,306
- Sally:
ANOTHER JOB?  WHERE?
- AT GUNG-HO VIDEOS.

3
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:09,375
MY COMMAND
OF THE VERNACULAR

4
00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:11,610
IMPRESSED BOTH MR. GUNG
AND MR. HO.

5
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:14,446
- CONGRATULATIONS, HARRY.
- GOOD FOR YOU, HARRY.

6
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:17,048
IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE.
DICK, CAN WE GO INSIDE NOW?

7
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:20,719
NO, WE'RE HERE TO EXPERIENCE
EVERYTHING ON THIS PLANET,
EVEN THE UNCOMFORTABLE PARTS.

8
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:24,022
I HAVE SOME
VERY UNCOMFORTABLE PARTS.

9
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,758
THEY SAID ON THE NEWS THAT
THE DEW POINT IS DROPPING.

10
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,860
- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
- I DON'T KNOW.

11
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:32,798
IT JUST CAUGHT MY ATTENTION
'CAUSE IT SOUNDED
KIND OF DIRTY.

12
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,634
WHY DO HUMANS SPEND
SO MUCH TIME WORRYING
ABOUT THE WEATHER?

13
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:38,069
THEY CAN'T GO 15 MINUTES
WITHOUT GETTING AN UPDATE.

14
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:40,071
DON'T THESE PEOPLE
HAVE WINDOWS?

15
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:43,642
I CANNOT DO A BOOK
REPORT OUT HERE, DICK.
MY FINGERS ARE GOING NUMB.

16
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,311
- CAN WE PLEASE
GO INSIDE NOW?
- ABSOLUTELY NOT.

17
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:49,481
THIS IS RESEARCH.
NO ONE GOES IN WITHOUT
A DAMN GOOD REASON.

18
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,416
<i> ( wind howling )</i>

19
00:00:57,825 --> 00:01:00,391
DOES ANYONE REMEMBER
WHAT COLOR OUR NAPKINS ARE?

20
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,927
- I THINK WE SHOULD GO CHECK.
- Harry: LET'S GO FIND OUT.

21
00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:04,929
<i> ( '50s rock music playing )</i>

22
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:39,197
- WHEW!  I AM FREEZING.
- WHY DON'T YOU WEAR
A LONGER SKIRT?

23
00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:42,501
WITH THESE LEGS?
I DON'T THINK SO.

24
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,436
DID YOU PICK UP
MY TICKETS?

25
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:48,239
YES, AND YOUR RESERVATION
FOR YOUR HOTEL IN CHICAGO.
THERE'S YOUR ITINERARY.

26
00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:51,976
NINA, I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME.

27
00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:55,380
NOT EVERY ANTHROPOLOGIST
RECEIVES THIS KIND OF HONOR.

28
00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:58,016
I KNOW,
THE LOUIS LEAKEY AWARD.

29
00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:01,252
TO STAND IN FRONT OF
A CONFERENCE OF EDUCATORS

30
00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:03,822
AND EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS
ABOUT MY WORK.

31
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:06,958
THIS IS GOING TO BE
THE BEST WEEKEND OF MY LIFE.

32
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,628
- WHY ARE YOU LOOKING
AT ME THAT WAY?
- NO REASON.

33
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,730
DR. ALBRIGHT!
DR. ALBRIGHT!

34
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:15,066
GUESS WHAT.
YOU AND I ARE
ON THE SAME FLIGHT.

35
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:18,469
SAME ROW, SIDE BY SIDE,
STRAPPED IN AT 38,000 FEET.

36
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,405
ISN'T THAT GREAT?

37
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,475
WHY ARE YOU GOING
TO THE CONFERENCE?

38
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,811
THEY'RE GIVING ME
SOME KIND OF ACADEMIC AWARD.

39
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,414
THEY HAND THESE THINGS OUT
LIKE CANDY MINTS.

40
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:32,017
ONCE WE GET THAT
OUT OF THE WAY,
THE TWO OF US

41
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:35,119
GET TO EXPERIENCE
THE MAGIC THAT IS CHICAGO.

42
00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:37,355
WELL, ONCE AGAIN

43
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,357
SOMETHING WONDERFUL
IN MY LIFE

44
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:41,593
HAS BEEN TURNED INTO
A GIANT CRAP FEST.

45
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:45,096
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU--

46
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:48,967
I GUESS SHE'S JUST
SAVING UP HER EXCITEMENT
FOR THE CRAP FEST.

47
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:51,202
- YOU JUST DON'T
GET IT, DO YOU?
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

48
00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:53,538
THERE ARE PEOPLE
WHO HAVE STRESS

49
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,540
AND PEOPLE
WHO GIVE STRESS,

50
00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:59,010
- AND YOU... ARE A GIVER.
- THAT'S NONSENSE.

51
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,046
- ( knocking )
- DR. SOLOMON?

52
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:03,281
WELL, COME IN, LEON.

53
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:05,617
COME IN, COME IN,
COME IN, ALL THE WAY IN.

54
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:09,054
CAN I HAVE THE WEEKEND
TO TURN IN MY PAPER?

55
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:11,957
LEON, DO YOU FIND THAT
I CAUSE YOU STRESS?

56
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,292
- DID SOMEONE SAY I SAID THAT?
- NO.

57
00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:16,628
IT WAS ALL
A MISUNDERSTANDING.
I LOVE PHYSICS.

58
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,230
I FIND IT VERY SOOTHING.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'VE HEARD.

59
00:03:19,232 --> 00:03:22,400
PLEASE DON'T FAIL ME.
I'LL TURN THE PAPER IN
BY FRIDAY.

60
00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:24,502
( stammers )

61
00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:27,171
- THAT WAS A STRESS
REACTION, WASN'T IT?
- YES, IT WAS.

62
00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:29,540
THANK YOU, NINA.
YOU'VE OPENED MY EYES.

63
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,276
I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE
THAT DR. ALBRIGHT'S WEEKEND

64
00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:34,278
IS STRESS-FREE,
HASSLE-FREE,

65
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,280
AND COMPLETELY
WITHOUT UNPLEASANTNESS.

66
00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:38,349
OH, YOU'RE NOT GOING?

67
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,159
OH, TOMMY.  WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?

68
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:50,662
I THOUGHT YOU HAD
THAT BOOK REPORT DUE
ON DICKENS.

69
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,698
I WAS DOING IT,
AND IT WAS SO BORING.

70
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:56,535
I REALIZED I COULD SAVE
MYSELF A LOT OF WORK
IF I JUST WATCHED THE MOVIE.

71
00:03:56,537 --> 00:04:00,305
I CAN'T BELIEVE NO KID
EVER THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE.

72
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:03,508
I'LL HELP YOU
AS SOON AS I'M DONE
REORGANIZING THIS PLACE.

73
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:05,844
- WHY?  WHAT WAS
WRONG WITH IT?
- IT WAS A MESS.

74
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,846
EVERYTHING WAS JUST
LUMPED TOGETHER.

75
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:10,482
YOU KNOW, ALL THE "A's,"
ALL THE "B's."

76
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,885
26 UNRELATED CATEGORIES,

77
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:16,388
EXCEPT FOR "X"
WHICH HAS ITS OWN ROOM.

78
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:19,691
WELL, HOW DOES
IT WORK NOW?

79
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:22,594
THINGS ARE MUCH
SIMPLER NOW.  LOOK.

80
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,563
GOOD MOVIES.

81
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:28,767
BAD MOVIES.

82
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,736
MOVIES I HAVEN'T SEEN.

83
00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:35,440
PARDON ME, WHERE
COULD I FIND "ALIENS"?

84
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:40,912
NOWHERE.

85
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:44,082
NOT HERE,
THAT'S FOR SURE.

86
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:47,151
NOBODY HERE
BUT US HUMANS.

87
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:48,754
- ♪ LA, LA, LA... ♪
- ( videotape clatters )

88
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:51,423
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA ♪

89
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,927
STOP LOOKING AT ME.

90
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,497
DO YOU REALLY
THINK THIS TRIP IS
SUCH A GOOD IDEA?

91
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,632
CHICAGO'S REALLY FAR,
AND I SAW ON TV

92
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,134
- SOMETHING ABOUT A LOW
PRESSURE FRONT MOVING IN.
- LOW PRESSURE?

93
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,169
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
DR. ALBRIGHT NEEDS.

94
00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:07,672
-<i> ( car horn honks )</i>
- AH, THERE SHE IS NOW.

95
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,674
THIS DOESN'T FEEL
RIGHT TO ME, DICK.

96
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:12,677
SEPARATING FROM THE UNIT
FOR AN ENTIRE WEEKEND
IS MADNESS.

97
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:15,246
AS FIRST OFFICER
IN CHARGE OF SECURITY,
I FORBID IT.

98
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,449
I AM HIGH COMMANDER,
AND I'M GOING.

99
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:20,519
- COME ON, WHY?
- LIEUTENANT, DON'T WORRY.

100
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:23,922
I'M PREPARED
FOR EVERY EVENTUALITY.

101
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:25,924
I THINK YOU'RE TAKING THIS
FAR TOO LIGHTLY.

102
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:28,793
YOU'VE NEVER
TRAVELED HERE BEFORE.
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT TO PACK?

103
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:31,630
- HOW WILL I REACH
YOU IN CHICAGO?
- I'M TAKING THE PHONE.

104
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:34,633
YOU KNOW THE NUMBER.

105
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,668
WHY ARE YOU TAKING
REFRIGERATOR MAGNETS?

106
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,838
CHICAGO, THE WINDY CITY?

107
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,040
I THINK IT'S OBVIOUS.

108
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,042
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

109
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:46,044
LET'S SAY
AN URGENT MESSAGE

110
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,312
COMES IN FOR DR. ALBRIGHT,
AND SHE'S OUT SIGHTSEEING.

111
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:50,314
I LAY IT
ON THE NIGHTSTAND

112
00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:53,084
BECAUSE I HAVE
NO WAY OF SECURING IT
TO A METALLIC SURFACE.

113
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,554
A GUST OF WIND BLOWS IT
UNDER THE BED,

114
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:58,657
AND MARY NEVER DISCOVERS
HER LONG-LOST IDENTICAL TWIN,

115
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:01,660
ALL FOR WANT
OF A MAGNETIC BANANA.

116
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,662
<i> ( car horn honks )</i>

117
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:07,498
THAT'S EXACTLY THE KIND
OF NEEDLESS AGITATION
THAT I INTEND TO PREVENT.

118
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,634
UNDERSTOOD.
TRAVEL WELL, COMMANDER.

119
00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,570
I SHALL RETURN.

120
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,315
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

121
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,317
I'M ENTERING THE POD.

122
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:29,420
FOR GOD'S SAKES,
JUST SIT DOWN
AND BEHAVE YOURSELF.

123
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:33,058
OF COURSE I WILL, MARY.
HERE I AM, SITTING.

124
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,293
YOU JUST BE CALM.
TAKE A DEEP BREATH.

125
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,328
<i> ( bell dings )</i>

126
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,098
Female flight attendant:
<i> Welcome to Northview Airlines</i>
<i> Flight 604 to Chicago.</i>

127
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,100
OH, MY GOD!
OUT THERE!

128
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:45,003
THERE'S SOMETHING
ON THE WING!

129
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:47,072
<i> ( announcement continues</i>
<i> over P.A. )</i>

130
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:50,241
- IT'S AN ENGINE!
- THIS THING IS A DEATHTRAP!

131
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,944
SKY WAITRESS!
SKY WAITRESS!

132
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,046
PLEASE BE QUIET
DURING SAFETY PROCEDURES.

133
00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:58,616
SAFETY?  ON THIS
FLYING DONKEY CART?
THAT'S RICH.

134
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:01,285
HOW CAN THIS WOMAN STAY CALM
WHEN, AT ANY SECOND,

135
00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:04,989
WE COULD GO CAREENING OUT
OF THE SKY IN A FLAMING
HEAP OF TWISTED METAL?

136
00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:07,025
- SIR, EVERYTHING
IS GOING TO BE--
- AT LEAST GIVE HER

137
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:09,160
A GELATIN-FILLED HELMET
TO KEEP HER BRAIN INTACT.

138
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:12,163
SHE'S RECEIVING AN AWARD!

139
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,465
- PLEASE SIT DOWN.
- NO!

140
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:17,435
WE'RE GETTING OFF!
WHO'S WITH ME?

141
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,171
I'VE NEVER BEEN KICKED
OFF A PLANE BEFORE.

142
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,173
BE GRATEFUL IT WAS
STILL ON THE GROUND.

143
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:26,377
- YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME
YOU WERE AFRAID TO FLY.
- ONLY ON AIRPLANES.

144
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:29,114
INSTEAD OF A 45-MINUTE FLIGHT,
I HAVE A SEVEN-HOUR DRIVE.

145
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,116
DON'T WORRY.
I'VE ANTICIPATED
YOUR NEEDS,

146
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,651
AND I'M READY TO FILL
THE REMAINING SIX HOURS
AND 50 MINUTES

147
00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:36,387
WITH MIRTH AND MERRIMENT.
I BROUGHT "MAD LIBS."

148
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,658
I NEED THE NAME
OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM.

149
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,895
- DICK.
- DICK.

150
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,664
( laughs )

151
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:49,100
THIS IS FUNNY ALREADY.

152
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:53,171
LOOK, IT'S
STARTING TO SNOW.

153
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,273
- OH, MY GOD.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER?

154
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,275
HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN
A SNOWFLAKE BEFORE?

155
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:59,677
YES, AND I PRAYED
I'D NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN.

156
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:02,280
TURN ON THE HIGH BEAMS.
THEY FEAR THE LIGHT.

157
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,758
WHERE CAN I FIND
"REMAINS OF THE DAY"?

158
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:17,596
OH, THAT WOULD BE
IN THE "I DIDN'T
SEE IT" SECTION.

159
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,668
WOW, I'VE FINALLY FOUND

160
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,770
WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR--
"DAVID COPPERFIELD."

161
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,206
IT DOESN'T LOOK BORING.
HE SAWS HIMSELF IN HALF

162
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,308
AND MAKES THE STATUE
OF LIBERTY DISAPPEAR.

163
00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:33,979
HEY, LOOK
OUT THE WINDOW.

164
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,914
( screaming )

165
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,250
THEY'RE HERE!
THEY'RE HERE!

166
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,953
ALBINO BRAIN CHIGGERS!
COVER YOUR EARS!

167
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:44,856
HARRY!  HARRY!
IT'S SNOW!  SNOW.

168
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,826
- OH.
- I LEARNED IT
IN SCIENCE CLASS.

169
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:51,496
COME ON OUTSIDE WITH ME
AND I'LL SHOW YOU HOW
TO WRITE YOUR NAME IN IT.

170
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,736
OH, MY GOD.

171
00:08:57,738 --> 00:09:00,171
IT'S COVERING EVERYTHING.

172
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,607
THE WHOLE TOWN IS
BEING OBLITERATED.

173
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:07,012
- HELLO!
- I'M UP HERE!

174
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:10,081
I'M UP HERE.
I'M UP HERE!

175
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,083
UH... OH.

176
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,886
UH... OKAY, I KNOW
THE TERM PAPER'S LATE,

177
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,656
- BUT MY CAR WOULDN'T ST--
- WHO CARES?  YOU'RE ALIVE.

178
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,660
YOU'RE ALIVE.
WHO ARE YOU?

179
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:25,363
OH, I-I'M A STUDENT
OF DR. SOLOMON'S.
MY NAME'S LEON.

180
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:27,532
I'M A SISTER
OF DR. SOLOMON'S.
MY NAME'S SALLY.

181
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,534
YEAH, I KNOW.
I SAW YOU ONE DAY

182
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:31,602
WHEN YOU DROPPED OFF
HIS LUNCH.

183
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:33,738
AND THEN YOU WENT
TO THE DRY CLEANERS,

184
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,374
AND THEN TO
THE SHOE REPAIR PLACE,

185
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,376
AND THEN THE CAR WASH.

186
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,511
AND THEN YOU WENT HOME
AND READ A BOOK
BY THE WINDOW

187
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:44,983
- FOR THREE HOURS.
- I REMEMBER THAT DAY.

188
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:47,618
LISTEN, LEON, I DON'T WANT
TO FREAK YOU OUT
OR ANYTHING,

189
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:50,288
BUT I THINK
THE EARTH IS SPIRALING
OUT OF THE SUN'S ORBIT

190
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,456
AND WE'RE HEADING
FOR A NEW ICE AGE.

191
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:56,294
UH... DID THEY SAY
THAT ON THE NEWS?

192
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,763
NO, BUT TRUST ME,
I'VE SEEN THIS HAPPEN BEFORE.

193
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:02,934
- WE COULD BE THE LAST TWO
CREATURES ON EARTH.
- I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.

194
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,269
OUR FIRST RESPONSIBILITY
IS TO BREED.

195
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,772
WE MUST,<i> MUST</i> COPULATE

196
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,708
AS<i> MUCH</i> AS WE CAN.

197
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,882
WELL, NOW THAT
YOU MENTION IT,

198
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:21,920
I DIDN'T SEE ANY PEOPLE
ON THE WAY OVER.

199
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,488
( gasps )
DAMN!

200
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:27,192
HOW ARE WE
SUPPOSED TO DO IT
WITH THE LIGHTS OUT?

201
00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:33,331
( Puerto Rican accent )
♪ A BOY LIKE THAT
WILL KILL YOUR BROTHER ♪

202
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,333
♪ FORGET THAT BOY
AND FIND ANOTHER ♪

203
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:39,637
♪ ONE OF YOUR OWN KIND,
STICK TO YOUR OWN KIND ♪

204
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,706
♪ A BOY WHO KILLS
CANNOT LOVE ♪

205
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,942
♪ A BOY WHO KILLS
HAS NO HEART ♪

206
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:46,611
♪ AND HE'S A BOY
WHO HAS NO HEART,
VERY SMART ♪

207
00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:50,448
- ♪ OH, NO, ANITA, NO,
YOU SHOULD KNOW-- ♪
- OH, MY GOD.

208
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,017
- FEAR HAS MADE
YOU HYSTERICAL.
- OH, NO, NO, NO.

209
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:56,054
I JUST LIKE TO SING
SHOW TUNES ON LONG TRIPS.

210
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:59,290
BEFORE I FOUND ANTHROPOLOGY,
I WAS GOING TO BE
A THEATER MAJOR.

211
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,525
DID I EVER TELL YOU
WHY I BECAME A TEACHER?

212
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:04,028
- I DON'T THINK
THIS IS THE BEST TIME--
- LIKE ALL LITTLE GIRLS,

213
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:06,097
I HAD A THING
FOR NEOLITHIC ARCHEOLOGY.

214
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:09,600
MY FATHER USED TO CUT UP
MY BARBIES AND BURY
THE PIECES IN THE BACKYARD

215
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:12,237
SO I COULD
DISCOVER THEM.

216
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,272
ONLY PROBLEM WAS,
ON MY FIRST DIG

217
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:17,608
I DISCOVERED I WAS
AFRAID OF SKELETONS.

218
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:21,445
- BOY, IT'S REALLY
COMING DOWN NOW.
- POOR, SWEET, TINY MARY.

219
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:24,315
YOU CAN DROP THE BRAVE FRONT.
WE'RE UNDER ATTACK.
PULL OVER.

220
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:25,817
- WHAT?
- I'M COMMANDEERING
THIS CAR.

221
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:28,386
- OH NO, YOU'RE NOT.
- IT'S A FULL-SCALE INVASION!

222
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:30,421
- I'LL SAVE YOU!
- ( Mary screaming )

223
00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:38,396
ARE YOU GETTING
THE FEELING BACK
IN YOUR HANDS?

224
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:41,499
- NO.
- WELL, THE WALK
WASN'T TOO BAD.

225
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:45,036
OH, YEAH, THE LAST
FOUR MILES JUST FLEW BY.

226
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:49,273
YOU PLOWED MY CAR
INTO A SNOW BANK.

227
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,275
I KNOW.

228
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:54,879
AND WE THOUGHT IT WAS
GOING TO FIGHT BACK.
AREN'T WE SILLY?

229
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,381
IF ANYTHING IS WRONG
WITH THAT CAR,

230
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,383
I AM HOLDING YOU
RESPONSIBLE.

231
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,419
WE'VE GOT TO
STICK TOGETHER.

232
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,421
THE ROADS ARE CLOSED.
AND LOOK AROUND.

233
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:05,556
WE'RE SURROUNDED
BY NEANDERTHALS.

234
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,928
THAT'S A FAIR ASSESSMENT,
ISN'T IT, FELLAS?

235
00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,502
ARE YOU
ALL RIGHT, HONEY?

236
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:20,805
YES, I'M FINE,
THANK YOU.

237
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:23,908
YOU KNOW, YOUR BOYFRIEND'S
KIND OF CUTE.

238
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,344
- HIM?
- THE WAY HE SPENT
THE LAST HOUR

239
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:29,447
- KNOCKING HIMSELF OUT TRYING
TO GET YOUR ATTENTION.
- HE'S AN IDIOT.

240
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,950
HONEY, THEY'RE
ALL IDIOTS,

241
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:36,721
BUT THIS ONE IS LOOKING
AT YOU LIKE YOU'RE THE ONLY
WOMAN ON THE PLANET.

242
00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:38,723
ALTHOUGH YOU'RE REAL PRETTY,
YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY

243
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:41,893
THE LAST HAM SANDWICH
IN HUNGRY TOWN,
IF YOU GET MY DRIFT.

244
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,898
YES?  IT DID?
( gasps )

245
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,067
OH, MY GOD.
WHERE?

246
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:51,236
AND YOU'RE SURE?

247
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:54,072
THANK YOU.

248
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,074
- MARY.
- HMM?

249
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:59,110
- THAT PLANE THAT I
GOT US THROWN OFF OF...
- YES?

250
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,112
IT NEVER
REACHED CHICAGO.

251
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,281
OH, MY GOD!

252
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,784
OH, MY GOD!  OH!

253
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:07,886
- OH!
- YES,

254
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:11,256
THE AIRPORT WAS CLOSED,
AND THEY WERE DIVERTED
TO GARY, INDIANA.

255
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:23,567
GARY IS 20 MINUTES
FROM CHICAGO.

256
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:26,905
WELL, BUT IT'S
AN INCONVENIENCE
NONETHELESS.

257
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:30,608
I THINK SOMEONE
OWES ME AN APOLOGY.

258
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,584
<i> ( wind howling )</i>

259
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,586
OKAY, HERE ARE
OUR RATIONS--

260
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,821
TUNA SALAD
ON WHOLE WHEAT.

261
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:47,758
SORRY, ALL WE HAVE
TO DRINK IS THIS
GIANT BOTTLE OF WINE.

262
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,760
IT HAS A MODEST BOUQUET,

263
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:52,696
BUT I THINK YOU'LL BE AMUSED
BY ITS PRESUMPTUOUSNESS.

264
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,267
WHATEVER.
( grunts )

265
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,336
WELL, LEON,

266
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:02,039
- TO THE SURVIVAL
OF THE SPECIES.
- OH, HMM, YES.

267
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,812
- WHY ARE YOU NERVOUS?
- WELL, IT'S JUST THAT

268
00:14:08,814 --> 00:14:11,516
I'VE NEVER BEEN WITH
A WOMAN OF YOUR...

269
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,451
GOOD-LOOKINGNESS BEFORE.

270
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,155
YEAH, I KNOW, I'M HOT.

271
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,157
IT'S KIND OF EXCITING
FOR ME, TOO.

272
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:22,793
ALL THE MEN I'VE MET HAVE
BEEN STRONG AND DECISIVE,

273
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:25,530
AND YOU'RE NEITHER
OF THOSE THINGS.

274
00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:28,999
WELL, I CAN BE, MAYBE.

275
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:32,203
PROBABLY NOT.

276
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:36,507
OH, LEON,

277
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:39,677
THINK WHAT OUR OFFSPRING
WILL BE LIKE.

278
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,813
THEY'LL HAVE MY SKILLS
AS A WARRIOR

279
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:45,082
AND YOUR FIERCE
INTELLIGENCE.

280
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,425
DR. SOLOMON DOESN'T TALK
MUCH ABOUT ME, DOES HE?

281
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,329
I THINK YOU'RE JUST
TRYING TOO HARD.

282
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:00,598
IT'S EXHAUSTING.
NOTHING I DO IS RIGHT.

283
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,600
YOU SEE, THAT'S
YOUR FIRST MISTAKE,

284
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:06,170
YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?
WOMEN DON'T WANT YOU
TO DO EVERYTHING.

285
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:08,072
ACCORDING TO WHO?

286
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:10,007
OPRAH.

287
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:15,079
- YEAH, OPRAH.
- SO WHAT DO I DO?

288
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:18,849
WELL, YOU WANT TO GIVE
HER WHAT SHE WANTS
WHEN SHE NEEDS IT.

289
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,984
AND YOU'VE GOT TO TRY
AND UNDERSTAND IT

290
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:23,954
WHEN SHE NEEDS
HER FREEDOM TO WANT
WHAT SHE NEEDS.

291
00:15:23,956 --> 00:15:27,791
YEAH, AND IF SHE'S FREE
TO WANT IT WHEN SHE
NEEDS IT OR NOT.

292
00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:30,061
- YOU SEE WHAT
WE'RE SAYIN'?
- YEAH.

293
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:33,464
YOU HAVE GOT
TO PAY ATTENTION
TO WHAT SHE LIKES

294
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,466
AND SHARE IT WITH HER.

295
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,868
- YOU SEE WHAT HE'S SAYING?
- YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?

296
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:39,970
- YOU SEE WHAT
WE'RE SAYING?
- YEAH, UH-HUH,

297
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:42,006
I SEE WHAT
YOU'RE SAYING.

298
00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:44,409
BUT WHAT DOES SHE LIKE?

299
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:47,978
OH, OH, OH!
I KNOW THE PERFECT THING.

300
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:50,348
NO, SHE HATES THAT.

301
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:53,084
OOH, I KNOW!

302
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:56,254
NO, THAT MADE HER
THROW UP.

303
00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:59,190
- IT'S HARD, ISN'T IT?
- IT IS DAMN HARD.

304
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:06,764
♪ OH-HHH... ♪

305
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:10,268
♪ ...KLAHOMA WHERE
THE WIND COMES SWEEPING
DOWN THE PLAIN ♪

306
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,236
DON'T EVEN TRY IT.

307
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:19,477
♪ AND THE WAVIN' WHEAT
CAN SURE SMELL SWEET ♪

308
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:23,681
♪ WHEN THE WIND COMES
RIGHT BEHIND THE RAIN ♪

309
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:28,986
♪ OH-HHH-KLAHOMA ♪

310
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:32,623
♪ EVERY NIGHT
MY HONEY LAMB AND I ♪

311
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,725
All:
♪ SIT ALONE AND TALK ♪

312
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,795
♪ AND WATCH THE HAWK
MAKING LAZY CIRCLES ♪

313
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:39,797
♪ IN THE SKY ♪

314
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:43,401
- ♪ WE KNOW WE BELONG
TO THE LAND ♪
- All: ♪ AHH ♪

315
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:46,003
♪ AND THE LAND
WE BELONG TO IS GRAND ♪

316
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:50,575
♪ YIPPEE-YI,
YIPPEE-YAY, YIPPEE-YAY ♪

317
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,011
( weeps )

318
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:58,316
♪ AND WHEN
WE SAY, YEOW! ♪

319
00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:01,552
♪ AYIPIOEEAY, YEOW! ♪

320
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,721
♪ WE'RE ONLY SAYIN',
YOU'RE DOING FINE ♪

321
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,723
♪ OKLAHOMA ♪

322
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:09,727
♪ OKLAHOMA
O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A ♪

323
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:16,601
♪ OKLA-HOOO... ♪

324
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:17,768
♪ MA! ♪

325
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,870
♪ YAY! ♪

326
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:29,580
I DON'T KNOW WHY I WAS
SO AFRAID OF THE SNOW.

327
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:31,582
IT'S ACTUALLY
QUITE BEAUTIFUL.

328
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:34,084
YOU KNOW THAT SLUSH
DOWN IN THE GUTTER?

329
00:17:34,086 --> 00:17:37,522
YOU CALL ME CRAZY,
BUT YOU PUT A LITTLE
CHERRY SYRUP ON THAT,

330
00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:41,526
YOU GOT YOURSELF
A COOL, REFRESHING TREAT.

331
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:45,329
HERE, LISTEN TO THIS.

332
00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:48,399
"CHARLES DICKENS'
'DAVID COPPERFIELD'
IS AN EXTRAORDINARY BOOK

333
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:51,169
ABOUT A MAN WHO ACCOMPLISHES
MANY INCREDIBLE FEATS

334
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:53,171
INVOLVING CLAUDIA
SCHIFFER HANDCUFFED

335
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,173
IN AN UNDERWATER TANK
WITH SHARKS."

336
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:58,476
- THAT'S GOOD.
- WHERE ARE ALL THE TAPES?

337
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:02,213
WELL, WE HAD A BIG NIGHT,
BUT FEAR NOT.

338
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:05,783
WE STILL GOT FIVE COPIES
OF "JOHNNY MNEMONIC."

339
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,720
IF THAT'S NOT
YOUR CUP OF TEA,
WE'VE ALSO GOT

340
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:12,823
"THE MAKING OF
JOHNNY MNEMONIC."

341
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:15,459
HOW ABOUT ADULT MOVIES?

342
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:24,001
WE GOT
"FAT FRÄULEINS."

343
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:26,970
"A LUSTY ROMP
THROUGH THE CHEESE
AND SAUSAGE SHOPS

344
00:18:26,972 --> 00:18:29,039
OF COMMUNIST EAST BERLIN."

345
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,410
FORGET IT.

346
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,113
ALL RIGHT,
GIVE IT TO ME.

347
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:45,289
SO THEN FREDDY STIVENDER
BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF ME.

348
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,924
IT WAS THE TALK
OF THE SCHOOL.

349
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,792
I WAS SO EMBARRASSED.

350
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:51,729
BUT AFTER WEEKS
OF PLOTTING,

351
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:54,098
- I GOT MY REVENGE.
- WHAT DID YOU DO?

352
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:57,901
I HAD MY MOM
TELL HIS MOM.

353
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:01,372
I LIKE YOUR TACTICS.

354
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:06,310
YOU KNOW, IT MAY JUST
BE THE WINE TALKING,

355
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:09,280
BUT I'M BEGINNING
TO THINK

356
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,782
IN A CRAZY WORLD
LIKE THIS,

357
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:13,951
YOU AND ME

358
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:15,953
JUST MIGHT MAKE SENSE.

359
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,858
HEY, LIGHTS!

360
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,027
THEY'LL BE OUT AGAIN
IN A SECOND,

361
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:25,596
IF THERE'S A GOD
IN HEAVEN.

362
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,931
PEOPLE ARE OUTSIDE
SHOVELING SNOW.

363
00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:30,701
WE'RE NOT
THE LAST PEOPLE
ALIVE ON EARTH.

364
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:34,238
LEON, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO IMPREGNATE ME!

365
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,643
UH... OH, GOOD.

366
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:43,581
NOT TO MENTION THE OMINOUS
BEHAVIORAL PARALLELS

367
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,617
BETWEEN AUSTRALOPITHECUS,
EURALOPITHECUS...

368
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:51,155
- THIS IS STUPID.
- NO!  NO, IT'S NOT.

369
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,624
( overlapping dialogue )

370
00:19:56,563 --> 00:20:00,030
SO IN ACCEPTING THIS AWARD,
I MUST POSE THE QUESTION,

371
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:03,934
"HAS OUR JOURNEY
FROM PRIMATE TO MAN
FINALLY CONCLUDED,

372
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,170
OR HAS IT JUST BEGUN?"

373
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:08,206
( gasps )
WONDERFUL.

374
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,040
WONDERFUL!  YES!

375
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:13,477
EXCUSE ME, DICK,
BUT THAT ROAD
HAS BEEN CLEARED

376
00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:15,580
FOR A GOOD HALF HOUR
OUT THERE.

377
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:18,549
BE ALL RIGHT IF WE JUST
SCOOT ON OUT OF HERE?

378
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,219
- SURE.  SURE.
- THANK YOU, MA'AM.

379
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,221
MA'AM, I SURELY
AM SORRY

380
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,989
YOU DIDN'T GET TO PICK UP
YOUR LEAKEY AWARD.

381
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,732
OH, DICK, I FEEL
I OWE YOU A THANK YOU.

382
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,668
YOU CERTAINLY
MADE THE TIME PASS.

383
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,938
I CAN'T BLAME
THE WEATHER ON YOU.
WELL, I COULD,

384
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,173
BUT I WON'T.

385
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:46,344
- SOMETIMES THINGS
JUST DON'T WORK OUT.
- OH, I DON'T KNOW.

386
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:49,280
SOMETIMES ON THE WAY
TO WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN

387
00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:52,516
SOMETHING EVEN BETTER
HAPPENS,

388
00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:56,086
WHICH IS WHY I AM PLEASED
TO PRESENT YOU WITH THIS ORB

389
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,922
CONTAINING A DIORAMA
OF THE CITY OF CHICAGO

390
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,158
IN A STATE
OF PERPETUAL BLIZZARD.

391
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:07,331
- IT'S REMARKABLE, ISN'T IT?
- YES, IT IS.

392
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:09,634
- AND I HAVE
SOMETHING FOR YOU.
- YOU DO?

393
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:12,236
- THE CRIMSON SHOVEL.
- OH, THANK YOU.

394
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:15,339
- LET'S GO
DIG OUT THE CAR.
- ABSOLUTELY.

395
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:18,309
IT SHOULD BE EASY TO FIND.
I LEFT THE LIGHTS ON.

396
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:23,947
<i> ( '50s rock music playing )</i>