1
00:00:04,871 --> 00:00:06,871
I THINK YOU'LL
LIKE THIS, DICK.

2
00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:09,641
THE COMMERCIAL
SAID THE EXTRA
INGREDIENT IS LOVE.

3
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:23,655
NEXT TIME TRY
MAKING THE EXTRA
INGREDIENT CHEESE.

4
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,890
- WHAT'S WITH HARRY?
- DON'T BOTHER HIM.

5
00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:28,560
- HE'S TRANSMITTING
MY STATUS REPORT.
- STATUS REPORT?

6
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:30,962
TO THE BIG GIANT HEAD?
( groans )

7
00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:34,466
WHY SHOULD WE HAVE TO ANSWER
TO THAT PENCIL-PUSHING
DESK JOCKEY ANYWAY?

8
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,668
FRANKLY, I DON'T CARE
WHAT HE THINKS.

9
00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:39,170
WHAT DID IT
SAY ABOUT ME?

10
00:00:39,172 --> 00:00:41,473
RESUME NORMAL FUNCTIONS
IN THREE,

11
00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:43,509
TWO, ONE.

12
00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:45,610
( belches )

13
00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:51,516
- WHAT DID I MISS?
- SO WHAT DID YOU
PUT IN THE REPORT?

14
00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:54,719
- LOTS OF TIME AND EFFORT.
- COME ON, READ IT BACK.

15
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,690
"DEAR BIG GIANT HEAD,
HOW ARE YOU?

16
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:01,259
WE'RE FINE.
SO'S THE WEATHER."
YADA, YADA, YADA.

17
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,929
"THE MISSION IS TAKING
LONGER THAN ANTICIPATED.

18
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:06,197
THE BEING DESIGNATED SALLY
HAS BRAVELY INFILTRATED

19
00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:08,200
THE FEMALE GENDER.

20
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:10,468
<i> THE HARRY UNIT IS</i>
<i> FUNCTIONING ADEQUATELY.</i>

21
00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:12,471
THE HIGH COMMANDER
HAS SQUANDERED SIX MONTHS

22
00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:15,407
- IN THE FUTILE PURSUIT
OF A SINGLE EARTH WOMAN--"
- WAIT, WAIT!

23
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,409
WHAT WAS THAT?

24
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:20,279
I AM FUNCTIONING
ADEQUATELY.

25
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:22,614
THAT THING ABOUT MY FUTILE
PURSUIT OF DR. ALBRIGHT.

26
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,616
HOW COULD YOU WRITE
THIS ABOUT ME?

27
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:27,552
I'M THE INFORMATION OFFICER.
I'M SWORN TO TELL THE TRUTH.

28
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,555
WELL, THE TRUTH IS
THAT THROUGH MARY

29
00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:32,724
I HAVE EXPLORED EVERY FACET
OF THE MALE/FEMALE DYNAMIC.

30
00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:35,193
HAVE YOU ESTABLISHED
A MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP
WITH HER?

31
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:37,195
- NO.
- HAVE YOU BONDED
EMOTIONALLY?

32
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:39,331
- NO.
- HAVE YOU HAD
ONE SUCCESSFUL DATE?

33
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,634
WELL, IF BY SUCCESSFUL
YOU MEAN PLEASANT,

34
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:45,136
NO.

35
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,138
I WOULDN'T
SWEAT IT, DICK.

36
00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:49,541
THE BIG GIANT HEAD
NEVER READS THESE
THINGS, ANYWAY.

37
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:52,210
PERHAPS I HAVE BEEN REMISS,
BUT MARK MY WORDS.

38
00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:54,212
BY THE WEEK'S END,
I WILL HAVE ESTABLISHED

39
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:56,214
AN EMOTIONAL BEACHHEAD
WITH DR. ALBRIGHT.

40
00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:58,316
THIS I VOW.

41
00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:00,819
YEAH, AND HARRY'S GOING
TO WIN THE NOBEL PRIZE.

42
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:04,656
WELL, I'M HAPPY
JUST TO BE NOMINATED.

43
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,692
<i> ( '50s rock music playing )</i>

44
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:39,056
- GOOD MORNING.
- GOOD MORNING, NINA.

45
00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:40,725
THOSE ARE NICE.

46
00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:42,861
THEY COST $89.

47
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,197
- DON'T TELL HER THAT.
- OH, RIGHT.

48
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:47,032
- ( exhales )
- GOOD MORNING.

49
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,800
THEY COST $89.

50
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,004
- OH.
- DR. ALBRIGHT, WOULD
YOU DO ME THE HONOR

51
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,006
OF JOINING ME
FOR DINNER TONIGHT?

52
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,674
NO.

53
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,682
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

54
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,550
CAN'T YOU SEE HOW MUCH
PAIN YOU'RE CAUSING?

55
00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:07,485
HE'S NOTHING,
IF NOT RESILIENT.

56
00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:09,721
NOT HIM, ME.
THE TWO OF YOU

57
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:11,723
ARE DRIVING ME
UP THE WALL.

58
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,725
YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY
ATTRACTED TO HIM.

59
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,661
TAKE A CHANCE
ON LOVE, WOMAN.

60
00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:19,798
- I DON'T KNOW.
- LOOK AT HIM.

61
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,739
I SUPPOSE IT'S TIME
TO GIVE THE BIG DOG
A BISCUIT.

62
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,409
AND I DO
HAVE TO EAT.

63
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,914
- OKAY, I'LL GO OUT WITH YOU.
- YES!

64
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,654
COME ON, DICK,
I REALLY NEED
TO GET IN THERE.

65
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,990
I'M SORRY.
I NEED TO BE
HANDSOME TONIGHT,

66
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:47,358
AND I MEAN
SEARS-CATALOG HANDSOME.

67
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:52,531
IF HE WANTS TO GET
SOMEWHERE WITH HER,
HE SHOULD FOLLOW MY LEAD.

68
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,434
MR. RANDELL AND I HAVE
A DREAMY RELATIONSHIP.

69
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:58,402
YEAH, YOU DON'T
EVEN CALL HIM
BY HIS FIRST NAME.

70
00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:01,773
THAT'S WHAT SOPHISTICATED
PEOPLE DO ON THIS PLANET.

71
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,509
I REALIZE IT'S
NOT AS ROMANTIC
AS YOU AND AUGUST

72
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:06,945
MEETING IN THE LUNCHROOM
AND SHARING YOUR PUDDING CUP.

73
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:10,415
HEY!  WE WERE JUST
VOTED CUTEST COUPLE,
SO SHUT UP.

74
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,417
OKAY, WHERE'S MY SHOES?

75
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:15,354
I THINK I SAW ONE OF THEM
RIGHT OVER THERE.

76
00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:22,794
OH, MY GOD,
IT'S HARRY.

77
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,863
HIS CRANIAL MICRORECEIVER,
IT'S ACTIVATED.

78
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:27,365
TRANSMISSION INCOMING
FROM THE BIG GIANT HEAD.

79
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:30,201
THANK YOU FOR CALLING
THE BIG GIANT HEAD.

80
00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,169
HE CARES ABOUT<i> YOU.</i>

81
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:37,075
YOUR STATUS
REPORT WAS RECEIVED.
PLEASE WAIT FOR COMMENTS.

82
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:39,944
- OH, NO, NO, NO.
- PLEASE, PLEASE,
NO COMMENTS.

83
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,880
- THERE ARE NO COMMENTS.
- ( all sigh )

84
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:45,316
RESUME NORMAL FUNCTIONS
IN THREE, TWO, ONE.

85
00:04:45,318 --> 00:04:47,886
( sneezes )

86
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:50,589
I TOLD YOU THE BIG
GIANT HEAD NEVER
READS THOSE THINGS.

87
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:52,724
I REALLY RESENT HOW
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO JUMP

88
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,859
EVERY TIME
THE BIG GIANT HEAD
SENDS A MESSAGE.

89
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:57,261
I KNOW,
EVERYONE KNOWS HE
ONLY GOT THE JOB

90
00:04:57,263 --> 00:04:59,431
BY KISSING
THE BIG GIANT BUTT.

91
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,136
( speaking Japanese )

92
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,172
( all repeating
Japanese phrase )

93
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:11,676
OH, THIS IS FUN.
WHAT A GREAT IDEA.

94
00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:13,678
-<i> HAI.</i>
-<i> HAI.</i>

95
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,081
All: OH!

96
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,482
-<i> HAI.</i>
-<i> HAI.</i>

97
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,951
( speaking Japanese )

98
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,586
-<i> HAI.</i>
-<i> HAI.</i>

99
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,655
( all applauding )

100
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,256
-<i> HAI.</i>
-<i> HAI.</i>

101
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:33,031
HEY, HE KNEW WHAT
HE WAS GETTING INTO

102
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,033
WHEN HE TOOK THIS JOB.

103
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,803
AUGUST, WE SHARE

104
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:41,773
- MORE THAN
PUDDING, DON'T WE?
- YOU'VE GOT PUDDING?

105
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,577
NO, I WAS USING IT
AS A METAPHOR FOR
OUR RELATIONSHIP.

106
00:05:46,579 --> 00:05:48,580
OUR RELATIONSHIP
IS SOFT AND GOOEY?

107
00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:52,083
NO, NO.
NEVER MIND, OKAY?
NEVER MIND.

108
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,185
YOU DIDN'T HAVE
TO WALK ME UP.
I KNOW THE WAY.

109
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,987
I DON'T MIND.
YOU MENTIONED COFFEE.

110
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,589
- HEY, GUYS.
- Both: HI, MR. RANDELL.

111
00:05:57,591 --> 00:06:01,025
WELL, SIT DOWN.
TAKE OFF YOUR
SHIRT-- SHOES.

112
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:07,966
TOMMY, I NEED THE PARLOR
TO ENTERTAIN MR. RANDELL,

113
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:11,269
MR. KEVIN RANDELL.

114
00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:13,572
- WE'RE DOING HOMEWORK.
- YEAH, MESOPOTAMIA.

115
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:16,040
OH, THE FERTILE
CRESCENT.

116
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,143
WOULD YOU LIKE
TO SEE IT?

117
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,919
- PARDON?
- NEVER MIND.

118
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:31,589
I'LL SEE TO THAT COFFEE.
TOMMY, HELP AUNTIE SALLY.

119
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,591
EXCUSE US.

120
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,994
<i> I NEED THE LIVING</i>
<i> ROOM TO BE ALONE</i>
<i> WITH MR. RANDELL.</i>

121
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,862
-<i> WHY?</i>
-<i> I THINK I'M FALLING</i>
<i> </i> IN LOVE WITH THE GUY.

122
00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:40,766
Tommy:
<i> YOU JUST WANT THE LIVING</i>
<i> ROOM SO YOU CAN MAKE OUT.</i>

123
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,502
SO HOW'S HISTORY
THIS YEAR?

124
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:44,903
- GOOD.
- GOOD.

125
00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:48,406
( speaking Japanese )

126
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,274
( all repeating
Japanese phrase )

127
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,282
<i> ( meat sizzling )</i>

128
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:02,520
( all gasp )

129
00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:17,135
( gasps )

130
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:20,304
( screams )

131
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,720
OH-HH,<i> HAI!</i>

132
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,656
OH-HH, HI.

133
00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:40,925
( sizzling )

134
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,102
( patrons applauding )

135
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,608
THANKS FOR
BAILING ME OUT.

136
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:59,644
YOU ARE SO MUCH FUN.

137
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,480
DR. ALBRIGHT,
YOUR HAND IS
ON MY KNEE.

138
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,316
- DO YOU WANT ME
TO MOVE IT?
- PLEASE.

139
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,619
NO, I MEANT
MOVE IT AROUND.

140
00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:12,256
WELL, AUGUST
SURE LEFT EARLY.

141
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:14,592
AFTER YOU DUMPED COFFEE
ON HER, SHE GOT THE HINT.

142
00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:17,028
SHE MADE
A RUDE COMMENT ABOUT
MY JELL-O WITH CHEESE.

143
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,264
JELL-O WITH CHEESE?
WHAT KIND OF WOMAN
ARE YOU?

144
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:21,866
COME ON,
LET'S NOT SQUABBLE.
WE'RE FAMILY.

145
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:24,636
SIT, SIT,
SIT, SIT, SIT,
SIT, SIT, SIT.

146
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:27,304
LET'S PLAY
A GAME, SHALL WE?
WHAT'LL IT BE?

147
00:08:27,306 --> 00:08:29,507
- BITE ME.
- ALL RIGHT, WHO'S IT?

148
00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:33,778
OKAY, FINE.
YOU KNOW,

149
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:37,548
YOU TRY TO HELP,
BUT THIS IS THE THANKS
YOU GE--!

150
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,918
TRANSMISSION INCOMING
FROM THE BIG GIANT HEAD.

151
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,054
- WHAT, AGAIN?
- THANK YOU FOR
YOUR STATUS REPORT.

152
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,924
I JUDGE YOUR MISSION TO BE
A COMPLETE FAILURE.

153
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:48,993
REPLACEMENTS ARRIVE
IN 24 HOURS.

154
00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:52,697
RESUME NORMAL FUNCTIONS
IN THREE, TWO, ONE.

155
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,633
( snorts )

156
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,304
WHAT DID I MISS?

157
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,875
- THEY'RE ABORTING THE MISSION.
- REPLACEMENTS ARRIVE TOMORROW.

158
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,777
THEY'RE SENDING US HOME.

159
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:08,212
All: OH!

160
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:11,582
OH-HH!

161
00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:13,584
( continues moaning )

162
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,358
OH, DR. ALBRIGHT,

163
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,762
THAT WAS THE GREATEST
30 SECONDS OF MY LIFE.

164
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,505
AHH!  SMELL
THE SPRING AIR.

165
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:36,641
WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE HAVE CLASS OUTSIDE?

166
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,976
THE WORLD IS
SUCH A PERFECT PLACE.

167
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:42,146
- WHAT ARE WE
DOING INDOORS?
- Leon: DR. SOLOMON.

168
00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:44,115
WHAT IS IT, DARLING?

169
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:49,620
WELL, I THINK WE'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING
OUR FINAL EXAM.

170
00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:52,791
I'M SHOOTING FOR
A "D," SO I'LL NEED
THE FULL HOUR.

171
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,361
FINAL EXAM?

172
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,296
TODAY?

173
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:02,567
I FORGOT.
ISN'T THAT A HOOT?

174
00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:05,903
YOU SEE, I DIDN'T MAKE
IT HOME LAST NIGHT.

175
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,905
I COULD HAVE,

176
00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:10,341
BUT I WAS AWFULLY
COMFORTABLE WHERE I WAS,

177
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:14,212
IN A PLACE THAT'S
DEFINITELY NOT HOME.

178
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:16,214
DR. SOLOMON,

179
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,116
ARE YOU...
ALL RIGHT?

180
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,251
I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT.
IT'S TOO PERSONAL.

181
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:23,588
LET'S JUST SAY I HAD SEX
WITH DR. ALBRIGHT.

182
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,523
OH!

183
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,928
DR. SOLOMON,
WE DON'T NEED
TO KNOW ABOUT THIS.

184
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:33,197
THAT'S WHERE
YOU'RE WRONG, BUG.
YOU MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING.

185
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:37,468
LAST NIGHT AT 11:22,

186
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,737
EASTERN STANDARD TIME,

187
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:41,739
MY SPIRITUAL
SELF, "X,"

188
00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:44,409
AND MY CORPOREAL
SELF, "Y,"

189
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,344
WERE FUSED TOGETHER...

190
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,514
FOR THE FIRST TIME.

191
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,320
BUT LET'S MOVE ON.

192
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:58,957
DICK, I NEED
TO TALK TO YOU.
I HAVE BIG NEWS.

193
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,591
I HAVE BIG NEWS, TOO.

194
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,861
CAN WE PLEASE JUST STEP
OUTSIDE FOR A MINUTE?

195
00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:04,863
ALL RIGHT.  CLASS,
WHILE I'M GONE,

196
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:07,866
I'D LIKE YOU TO PONDER
BEING NAKED UNDER COOL,

197
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,801
COOL SHEETS.

198
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,439
WE'RE LEAVING?!

199
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:18,776
NO-OOO!

200
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:26,217
- JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION.
- ALL RIGHT.

201
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,652
HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING,
IF YOU WERE OUT
OF MY LIFE,

202
00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:31,422
I'D EXPERIENCE
SEPARATION ANXIETY,

203
00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,524
AND I'D PROBABLY HARBOR
SOME RESENTMENT.

204
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:37,328
BUT YOU KNOW THAT EVEN
IF WE WEREN'T TOGETHER,
I'D ALWAYS CARE ABOUT YOU?

205
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,530
WAIT A SECOND,
ARE YOU DUMPING ME?

206
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,833
- NO.  NO!
- IT'S THAT CHEERLEADER
CHERYL, ISN'T IT?

207
00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:46,070
WELL, LET ME
CLUE YOU IN, PAL.
IT'S ALL PADDING.

208
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:48,440
NO, AUGUST, YOU DON'T--

209
00:11:48,442 --> 00:11:50,742
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

210
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,777
WAIT.  IT IS?

211
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,314
- CAN I ASK YOU
A QUESTION?
- SURE.

212
00:11:56,316 --> 00:12:00,150
IF I COULD
NEVER MAKE COFFEE
FOR YOU AGAIN--

213
00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:02,152
NOT THAT THAT'S
GOING TO HAPPEN.

214
00:12:02,154 --> 00:12:05,322
I MEAN, I'M HERE WITH MY POT,
READY TO POUR.

215
00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:07,325
WOULD YOU MISS ME?

216
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,727
WHY ARE YOU
ASKING ME THIS?

217
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,996
I DON'T KNOW.

218
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:15,166
CALL IT GIRLISH
INSECURITY.

219
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:18,336
- HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?
- AWFUL.

220
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,504
AWFUL LIKE SOMEBODY
RIPPED YOUR HEART OUT

221
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:22,606
AND THEN SHOWED
IT TO YOU?

222
00:12:22,608 --> 00:12:25,276
WELL, NOT SHOWED
IT TO ME.

223
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,846
SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS,
WITHOUT ME

224
00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:30,614
YOU'D BE
A LONELY, MISERABLE WRECK

225
00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:33,317
FOR WHAT, A WEEK, A MONTH,
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

226
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:36,120
THE REST OF MY LIFE.

227
00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:38,723
OH, MR. RANDELL.

228
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:41,859
( sighs )

229
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:45,196
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW
HAPPY YOU'VE MADE ME.

230
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:47,131
CERTAINLY.

231
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:56,674
I THOUGHT YOU
AND DR. SOLOMON HAD
A DATE AGAIN TONIGHT.

232
00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:59,277
- WE DID.
- HE STOOD YOU UP?

233
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,046
OH, NO,
I TALKED TO HIM.

234
00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:05,183
HE SAID HE GOT
AN UPSETTING PHONE
CALL FROM A FRIEND

235
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:07,185
WITH A BIG HEAD,

236
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:09,554
AND HE DIDN'T THINK
HE'D BE MUCH FUN TONIGHT.

237
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:12,890
OH.  WELL, MY ALL-TIME
FAVORITE EXCUSE WAS

238
00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:15,059
"I HAVE A TERMINAL
ILLNESS."

239
00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:17,061
YOU ACTUALLY HAD THAT
PULLED ON YOU?

240
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:20,665
YES, BUT IN ALL FAIRNESS,
THE GUY DIED.

241
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,968
ARE YOU GOING
TO BE OKAY?

242
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,470
I AM AT THE STAGE
IN MY LIFE

243
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:30,074
WHERE I REFUSE TO LET
A MAN'S CHILDISH BEHAVIOR

244
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:32,910
STEER ME OFF COURSE.
I AM TAKING THE HIGH ROAD.

245
00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:35,346
YEAH?  IF I WERE YOU,
I'D GO OVER THERE

246
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:38,115
AND NAIL HIS SORRY ASS
TO THE WALL.

247
00:13:38,117 --> 00:13:40,084
THAT<i> IS</i>
THE HIGH ROAD.

248
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:46,957
I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE'RE BEING CALLED BACK.
I DON'T WANT TO GO.

249
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:49,993
I KNOW.  I'M SO UPSET.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO PACK.

250
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:53,964
DO YOU THINK I COULD
TAKE THESE OPEN-TOED
METALLIC SANDALS?

251
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:57,601
LIEUTENANT,
ONCE WE'RE OUT OF HERE,
WE WON'T EVEN HAVE FEET.

252
00:13:57,603 --> 00:14:00,671
BUT THEY LOOK LIKE A PUMP
AND FEEL LIKE A SNEAKER.

253
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,474
- PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER.
- ( wails )

254
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:06,310
I'VE GROWN ATTACHED
TO CERTAIN THINGS
ON THIS PLANET, TOO.

255
00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,712
YOU THINK I'M NOT GOING
TO MISS THE SUNSETS,

256
00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:10,714
THE CHANGE OF SEASONS,

257
00:14:10,716 --> 00:14:12,883
THE WAY MY STUDENTS
AVERT THEIR EYES

258
00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:15,586
WHEN I PASS THEM
IN THE HALLS?

259
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:19,457
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING
TO MISS THE MOST?
ALL OF YOU.

260
00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:22,126
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  WE'RE STILL
GOING TO BE TOGETHER.
WE'RE STILL A UNIT.

261
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:24,595
I KNOW, BUT WE WON'T
BE A FAMILY ANYMORE.

262
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,430
- OH, LIEUTENANT.
- OH, SIR.

263
00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:31,702
I PROMISED MYSELF
I WASN'T GOING
TO DO THIS.

264
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,305
HARRY, BE BRAVE.

265
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:38,041
THIS IS NO TIME
FOR WEAKNESS.
WE MUST BE STRONG.

266
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,945
- DICK.
- MARY.

267
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:42,947
- DICK.
- MARY.

268
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:44,348
- DICK.
- HARRY.

269
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:46,251
WHAT?

270
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:49,253
I'D LIKE A FEW WORDS
WITH YOU IN PRIVATE.

271
00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:51,289
MARY, WE HAVE
NO SECRETS.

272
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:54,859
WHATEVER WE HAVE TO SAY
TO EACH OTHER WE CAN SAY
IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE GROUP.

273
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:58,229
- LAST NIGHT WHEN
WE WERE HAVING--
- LET'S GO OUT ONTO THE ROOF.

274
00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:03,668
WELL, I'M GOING TO GO DOWN
AND GET MY RECORD COLLECTION
FOR THE TRIP BACK.

275
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:06,303
YOU KNOW, TUNES
FOR THE ROAD.

276
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:09,774
GREAT, 14 LIGHT-YEARS
OF GLEN CAMPBELL.

277
00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:13,644
- I HAVE SOMETHING
TO SAY TO YOU.
- SO DO I.

278
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,646
SOMETHING IMPORTANT,

279
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,648
BUT I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO START.

280
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,650
LET ME TAKE
A STAB AT IT.

281
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:22,319
YOU LOVE ME.
LAST NIGHT MEANT
THE WORLD TO YOU,

282
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:25,089
BUT YOU HAVE
TO PUSH ME AWAY
SO YOU DON'T HURT ME.

283
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,924
SOMEDAY I'LL SEE IT
WAS ALL FOR THE BEST.

284
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,859
PLEASE BELIEVE YOU!
PLEASE BELIEVE YOU!

285
00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:31,028
THAT'S IT EXACTLY.

286
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:33,731
MARY, YOU UNDERSTAND
MY EVERY THOUGHT.

287
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:37,401
I UNDERSTAND.
YOU'VE HAD THE MILK.
WHY BUY THE COW?

288
00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:41,205
NO, I WANT YOU.
I WANT THE COW.

289
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,944
FOR WHAT,
A ONE-NIGHT STAND
IN THE BARN?

290
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,113
I WILL NOT BE
TREATED THIS WAY.

291
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,515
- YOU HURT ME.
- HOW DID I HURT YOU?

292
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:54,552
DO YOU KNOW
WHY WE ENDED UP
AT MY PLACE LAST NIGHT?

293
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:58,289
NOT BECAUSE I WAS LONELY.
NOT BECAUSE I HAD
TOO MUCH SAKE.

294
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,791
WE ENDED UP
THERE BECAUSE...

295
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,660
I CARE FOR YOU.

296
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,595
OH, MARY.

297
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:09,800
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO WAIT
UNTIL NOW TO TELL ME?

298
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,703
WHAT'S WRONG WITH NOW?

299
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:16,440
I WISH I HAD A MACHINE
THAT COULD FREEZE TIME.

300
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:19,209
UNFORTUNATELY, I LEFT IT
IN MY OTHER JACKET.

301
00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:24,916
- DICK?
- AAH!

302
00:16:24,918 --> 00:16:28,485
COME IN HERE.
I'VE GOT WONDERFUL
NEWS FROM "HOME."

303
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:30,487
YOU--

304
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,024
WAIT RIGHT HERE.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

305
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,360
( mooing )

306
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:42,132
DICK'S HERE.
WHAT IS IT?

307
00:16:42,134 --> 00:16:45,402
- THERE WAS A MISTAKE
IN THE MESSAGE.
- TELL ME!

308
00:16:45,404 --> 00:16:48,239
DICK, YOU'RE THE ONLY
ONE WHO'S GOING.
WE ALL GET TO STAY.

309
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:51,042
- YEAH!
- YEAH!

310
00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:54,045
Both: AW!

311
00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:56,447
HOW DID YOU GET
YOUR INFORMATION?

312
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:59,517
I WAS DOWN IN THE BASEMENT
GETTING MY RECORD COLLECTION,

313
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:03,053
- AND I BUMPED INTO
YOUR REPLACEMENT.
- MY REPLACEMENT?

314
00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:05,756
IT'S IN THE BASEMENT.
HE WANTS TO TALK
TO YOU, DICK,

315
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:07,691
NOW.

316
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:17,401
HELLO?

317
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:21,572
HELLO?

318
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,574
HELLO?

319
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,509
WHERE ARE YOU?

320
00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:28,779
YOU--

321
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,183
YOU'RE GORGEOUS!

322
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,219
THANK YOU.

323
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:39,156
THIS BODY SHOULD
SUIT ME NICELY.

324
00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:42,159
THE BIG GIANT HEAD
IS VERY UNHAPPY,

325
00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:44,495
COMMANDER.

326
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:47,265
I'VE BEEN SENT HERE
TO REPLACE YOU

327
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:49,500
AND COMPLETE
THE MISSION

328
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:52,336
WITH RUTHLESS
EFFICIENCY.

329
00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:54,839
( gasps )

330
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:58,208
AND NOW I'M
AFRAID IT'S TIME

331
00:17:58,210 --> 00:18:00,644
FOR ME TO ASSUME
COMMAND.

332
00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:05,015
YOU THINK YOU CAN
JUST WALTZ IN HERE
AND TAKE OVER?

333
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:07,618
YOU HAVE NO IDEA!
THE PEOPLE HERE

334
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,620
ARE SO COMPLEX.

335
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:12,123
THEY HAVE ALL THESE
FEELINGS AND IMPULSES,

336
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:14,125
DREAMS AND FEARS.

337
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:16,127
AND EVERY TIME
YOU'VE MASTERED ONE,

338
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:18,128
ANOTHER ONE CATCHES
YOU BY SURPRISE.

339
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:20,898
TONIGHT I FINALLY
MADE A BREAKTHROUGH.

340
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:24,468
ONE OF THESE PEOPLE
CARES ABOUT ME.

341
00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:26,504
YOU CAN'T MAKE ME
LEAVE NOW!

342
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,171
OH, YES, I CAN.

343
00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:30,407
WHAT ABOUT...

344
00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:32,242
MARY?

345
00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:35,712
I'LL TAKE CARE
OF HER... GOOD.

346
00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:38,482
NO.  I WON'T
ALLOW IT!

347
00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:40,718
I LOVE HER!
I'M NOT LEAVING HER!

348
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,220
HOW TOUCHING.

349
00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:46,390
YOU KNOW, YOU'VE ACTUALLY
CHANGED MY MIND.

350
00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:49,326
I THINK I WILL
LET YOU STAY HERE,

351
00:18:49,328 --> 00:18:51,328
RIGHT HERE,

352
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:52,596
FOREVER.

353
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,267
( sinister laughter )

354
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,673
NO.  YOU'RE NOT--

355
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,512
( gasping )

356
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:12,216
OH, MY GOD!

357
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:14,218
HE'S TURNED ME
INTO A MIME!

358
00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:20,357
YOU KNOW, IF YOU PLAY
"WICHITA LINEMAN"
BACKWARDS,

359
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,793
YOU GET OUR
NATIONAL ANTHEM.

360
00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:28,665
( chuckling sinisterly )

361
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,100
WHAT'S SO FUNNY, DICK?

362
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:33,771
I AM NOT... DICK.

363
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,674
I'M YOUR NEW
HIGH COMMANDER.

364
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:41,178
FROM THIS POINT FORWARD,
YOU WILL REFER TO ME
AS SUCH.

365
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,114
OKAY,

366
00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:45,382
SUCH.

367
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,891
- WHAT HAVE YOU
DONE WITH DICK?
- THAT'S FOR ME TO KNOW

368
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:56,494
AND YOU TO FIND OUT.

369
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:59,863
THERE'S GOING TO BE
A LOT OF CHANGES
AROUND HERE.

370
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,299
FOR INSTANCE,
FROM NOW ON,

371
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:04,735
THIS...

372
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,670
GOES HERE.

373
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,445
AND THAT'S JUST
THE FIRST OF MANY...

374
00:20:17,349 --> 00:20:19,349
CHANGES.

375
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:25,623
WOW, WHAT
A BLACK HOLE.

376
00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:33,631
- MARY.
- IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

377
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:35,866
EVERYTHING'S PERFECT.

378
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:37,868
FOR THE LAST SIX
MONTHS, I'VE BEEN

379
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:39,870
A BUMBLING FOOL.

380
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:43,273
AS OF RIGHT NOW,
THAT'S OVER.

381
00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:45,876
I ONLY CARE ABOUT
ONE THING NOW,

382
00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:48,278
AND THAT'S PLEASURE--

383
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,915
YOURS AND MINE.

384
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:55,319
- OH, PLEASE.
- THAT'S GOOD.

385
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:58,322
I LIKE IT
WHEN THEY BEG.

386
00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:02,225
- HOW DARE YOU--
- SHH!

387
00:21:02,227 --> 00:21:04,328
LET DADDY DRIVE.

388
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:12,669
( sighs )

389
00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:14,605
WOW!

390
00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:24,147
<i> ( '50s rock music playing )</i>