1 00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:05,504 UH-HUH. 2 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:07,038 YEAH. UH-HUH. 3 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,274 R-REALLY? THIS WEEKEND? 4 00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:11,610 WELL, I CAN'T SAY NO TO YOU. 5 00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:12,944 YOU'RE MARY'S MOTHER. 6 00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,613 YEAH, IT SOUNDS WONDERFUL. 7 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,948 NO, NO. MARY DIDN'T TELL ME A THING. 8 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:18,350 DIDN'T TELL WHO WHAT THING? 9 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,051 YEAH, I'VE NOTICED THAT ABOUT HER, TOO. 10 00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:21,586 IT'S OFF-PUTTING, ISN'T IT? 11 00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:22,587 WHO'S THAT? 12 00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,255 IT SOUNDS TERRIFIC, MARTHA. 13 00:00:24,257 --> 00:00:25,791 MARTHA. MY MOTHER. 14 00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,226 YEAH. OH, GOD, NO! 15 00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:29,294 YES, BEST TO YOU, MARTHA. 16 00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:32,931 YEAH, RIGHT, RIGHT. I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO MEET ME. 17 00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:34,532 WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?! 18 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,968 YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT I WAS GONNA MEET YOUR PARENTS THIS WEEKEND. 19 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,269 YOU'RE NOT! 20 00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:40,538 WELL, THEY SAID THAT YOU'D MADE THE PLANS. 21 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,841 A--A MONTH AGO, WHEN WE WERE ENGAGED. 22 00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:45,377 THAT WOULD BE 2 WEEKS BEFORE YOU RUINED EVERYTHING. 23 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,879 COME ON, MARY. IT'LL BE FUN. 24 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,148 TELLING MY PARENTS MY ENGAGEMENT IS OFF 25 00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:52,150 IS NOT MY IDEA OF FUN. 26 00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:53,451 WHAT, YOU HAVEN'T TOLD THEM YET? 27 00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:54,786 ARE YOU KIDDING? 28 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,288 FOR YEARS, THEY PREDICTED I'D BECOME AN OLD SPINSTER 29 00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:58,757 WHO SITS ALONE EVERY NIGHT 30 00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,759 DRINKING WINE AND TALKING TO HER CAT. 31 00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:02,093 DR. ALBRIGHT. 32 00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:05,430 DR. ALBRIGHT, THEY WERE OUT OF THAT ZINFANDEL YOU LIKE, 33 00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:07,633 BUT I DID PICK UP YOUR DOG FOOD. 34 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:09,368 I HAVE ONE DOG! 35 00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:12,704 MARY, PLEASE! I WON'T SAY A WORD ABOUT OUR BREAKUP. 36 00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,640 I CAN'T. I'M STILL IN DENIAL. 37 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,910 DO YOU THINK I WANT TO SPEND MY WEEKEND 38 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,245 PRETENDING TO BE ENGAGED TO A LUNATIC 39 00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,515 RATHER THAN TELL MY PARENTS THE TRUTH? 40 00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:27,552 I'LL PICK YOU UP IN THE MORNING. 41 00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,187 WE'RE JUST PRETENDING! 42 00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,756 IF YOU DARE TO TRY AND TOUCH ME, 43 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,292 I WILL CHOKE THE LIFE OUT OF YOU. 44 00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,761 WELL, WHAT IF I BUMP INTO YOU ACCIDENTALLY? 45 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,229 FINE. 46 00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:39,364 IN THE SHOWER? 47 00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:45,837 BE IN YOUR DRIVEWAY AT 8:00 TOMORROW. 48 00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,505 TOMORROW? YOU CAN'T GO AWAY. 49 00:01:47,507 --> 00:01:50,476 YOU PROMISED YOU'D HELP ME MOVE OUT OF MY APARTMENT. 50 00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:51,810 OH, I'M SO SORRY, NINA. 51 00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:53,144 OH, THANKS A LOT. 52 00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:55,480 NOW I SEE WHO'S IMPORTANT AROUND HERE. 53 00:01:55,482 --> 00:01:57,582 UH, YES, THAT WOULD BE ME. 54 00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:59,584 OK. FINE. BUT THE NEXT TIME 55 00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:02,421 YOU CAN'T SEPARATE THE CHEESE SLICES IN YOUR LUNCHABLES, 56 00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:04,022 DON'T COME RUNNING TO ME. 57 00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:08,326 WHAT HAVE I DONE?! 58 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:49,234 TOMMY! HARRY! SALLY! 59 00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,837 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS JACKET? 60 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,838 MMM, IT'S A LITTLE TWEEDY. WHOA! 61 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,941 BUT YOU WIN ME OVER WITH THE PATCHES. 62 00:02:56,943 --> 00:02:58,110 OH. 63 00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:00,112 I'VE GOT TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION 64 00:03:00,114 --> 00:03:01,612 WHEN I MEET MARY'S PARENTS. 65 00:03:01,614 --> 00:03:02,614 MARY ALBRIGHT'S PARENTS? 66 00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,316 Tommy: THEY'RE STILL ALIVE? 67 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,851 MY GOD, THEY MUST BE SO OLD. 68 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,919 PROBABLY HAD HER REALLY YOUNG. 69 00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,588 NOW STOP IT! THIS IS IMPORTANT. 70 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:11,622 I HAVE TO WIN THEIR LOVE AND RESPECT. 71 00:03:11,624 --> 00:03:14,692 WHY? YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE MARY'S LOVE AND RESPECT. 72 00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:15,927 NOT AT THE MOMENT, 73 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:18,130 BUT I'M HOPING THAT IF I WIN HER PARENTS OVER, 74 00:03:18,132 --> 00:03:19,697 SHE'LL SEE ME IN A NEW LIGHT 75 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,266 AND FALL IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN. 76 00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:22,567 DICK, THAT'S GENIUS! 77 00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:23,835 I DON'T KNOW. 78 00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:26,605 I'D RATHER HAVE A RED-HOT POKER STUCK IN MY EYE 79 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,874 THAN HANG OUT WITH MY GIRLFRIEND'S MOM AND DAD. 80 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:32,811 HEY, WHAT IF HER PARENTS HAVE A RED-HOT POKER 81 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:36,481 AND THEY SURPRISE YOU BY STICKING IT IN YOUR EYE? 82 00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:39,984 NO. 83 00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:42,387 NO, I'M SURE THEY'RE LOVELY PEOPLE. 84 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,423 AFTER ALL, THEY MIXED AND POURED 85 00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:46,958 THE DNA COCKTAIL THAT IS... 86 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,393 MARY ALBRIGHT. 87 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:51,996 STILL, DICK, JUST TO BE SAFE, WE SHOULD GO WITH YOU. 88 00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:53,265 OH, NO, NO. 89 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:55,433 I'VE GOT A MUCH MORE IMPORTANT ASSIGNMENT FOR YOU. 90 00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:57,101 CLEANING UP OUR PARKS AND STREAMS? 91 00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:58,102 NO. NINA'S MOVING, 92 00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:00,205 AND I VOLUNTEERED YOU TO HELP HER. 93 00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:02,874 WAIT. YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO LUG HEAVY BOXES ALL WEEKEND? 94 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:03,875 YES. 95 00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:06,577 WELL, DO WE GET TO GO THROUGH HER STUFF? 96 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:07,845 HOW COULD YOU NOT? 97 00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,114 ALL RIGHT, THEN. 98 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:17,188 WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 99 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:18,823 DOES MARY LOOK MORE LIKE ME OR GEORGE? 100 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:20,492 WELL, MARTHA, I DID NOTICE 101 00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:23,361 THAT YOU AND MARY HAVE THE SAME PATRICIAN NOSE. 102 00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:24,862 WHOA. 103 00:04:24,864 --> 00:04:27,532 I THINK SHE DOES FAVOR MARTHA'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY 104 00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:28,799 MORE THAN MINE. 105 00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:31,570 BUT AT LEAST SHE GOT HER FATHER'S GENEROUS BUTT. 106 00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:39,177 MARY, THAT EYE SHADOW 107 00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:40,512 MAKES YOU LOOK TIRED. 108 00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:42,280 THANK YOU, MOTHER. 109 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,650 JUST TRYING TO HELP. 110 00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:46,117 MARTHA, DARLING, 111 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,586 WHY DON'T YOU RUN AND GET THE KIDS THOSE SANDWICHES? 112 00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:51,189 WELL, YES, OF COURSE, GEORGE. 113 00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:54,993 I'LL RUN AND GET THE KIDS THOSE SANDWICHES. 114 00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:58,830 I KEEP FORGETTING YOU WERE PARALYZED IN THE WAR. 115 00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:04,869 I REALLY SHOULD GO AND HELP HER. 116 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:09,140 I WOULDN'T WANT HER TO SLIP AND FALL INTO A BOTTLE OF GIN. 117 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,876 THEY'RE VERY NICE. 118 00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:13,411 NO, THEY'RE NOT. 119 00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:14,746 THEY'RE SOUR, MISERABLE PEOPLE 120 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:16,080 WHO DON'T LIKE ANYBODY. 121 00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,749 OH, I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT FLOWERS. 122 00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,383 DO THEY LIKE FLOWERS? I CAN GET FLOWERS. 123 00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:20,618 STOP WORRYING. 124 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,554 THIS TIME TOMORROW, WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY HOME, 125 00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:23,888 AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN. 126 00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,389 I WOULDN'T BET ON IT. 127 00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:28,093 WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 128 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,563 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, DICK, 129 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:33,831 BUT WHEN I EAT HAM, I GOTTA HAVE A BEER. 130 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:36,101 OH, AND WHEN I DRINK BEER, I GOTTA HAVE HAM. 131 00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:38,303 HAM AND BEER. THAT'S US, GEORGE. 132 00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:49,447 ARE YOU DONE YET? 133 00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:51,549 YEP, SNUG AS A BUG. 134 00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,526 OK, I THINK I MISSED A SPOT. 135 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,628 GUYS, COULD YOU PLEASE BE CAREFUL? 136 00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:04,829 YES, ABSOLUTELY. 137 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:05,963 STARTING NOW. 138 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,934 NINA, THIS PLACE IS SO GREAT. 139 00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:12,303 I MEAN, IT'S SO NICE AND CLEAN. 140 00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:15,207 WELL, IT'S EASY TO KEEP THINGS NEAT WHEN YOU LIVE ALONE. 141 00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,875 THE SMELL, IT SMELLS LIKE... 142 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:17,876 [INHALES DEEPLY] 143 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,543 LIKE A MALL OR... 144 00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:21,412 OR THE BAKERY OR... 145 00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:24,382 MY HOUSE SMELLS LIKE FEET OR CHEESE OR 146 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,783 ROTTEN FOOD-- 147 00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:27,385 I--I GET IT. SALLY, I GET IT. 148 00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:33,491 OH, MARTHA, THIS IS THE MOST DELICIOUS, 149 00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:36,294 EXQUISITELY FLAVORED, PALATE-TEASING DISH I'VE EVER TASTED. 150 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:38,029 WHAT DO YOU CALL IT AGAIN? 151 00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:39,831 BUSY GAL'S LASAGNA. 152 00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,501 I MUST GET THE RECIPE. 153 00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:45,703 IT'S NOODLES WITH KETCHUP ON 'EM. 154 00:06:47,273 --> 00:06:49,073 GEORGE... 155 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,441 SHUT UP. 156 00:06:50,443 --> 00:06:52,744 DON'T GIVE AWAY HER RECIPES, GEORGE. 157 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,745 THANK YOU, DICK. 158 00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:56,614 NOW, MARY, HOW ABOUT IT? MORE? 159 00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,449 UH, NO, MOTHER, I HAVE ENOUGH. 160 00:06:58,451 --> 00:06:59,718 SHE'S ON ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE 161 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,686 CRAZY CRASH DIETS, RIGHT, DICK? 162 00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:04,021 WELL, NO, I JUST DON'T THINK SHE LIKES YOUR LASAGNA 163 00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:05,356 AS MUCH AS I DO, MARTHA. 164 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:06,558 YES, I DO, 165 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,560 AND I'M NOT ON A DIET. 166 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:10,562 I'M HAPPY THE WAY I AM. 167 00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:13,564 WELL, THERE COMES A POINT WHEN YOU JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT 168 00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:15,333 WHAT THE GOOD LORD HAS GIVEN YOU. 169 00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:18,903 LORD KNOWS I HAVE. 170 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,374 COME ON, DICK. I'LL SWEETEN UP YOUR DRINK. 171 00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:25,376 MMM. RIGHT. RIGHT. 172 00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:27,445 GEORGE, I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU. 173 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,748 WELL, MARY... 174 00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:33,751 YOUR DADDY AND I ARE JUST TICKLED PINK 175 00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:36,053 THAT DICK IS THE ONE. 176 00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:37,122 THE ONE WHAT? 177 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:39,991 OH, MARY MARGARET, 178 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,927 YOU KNOW VERY WELL THE ONE WHAT. 179 00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:43,928 MR. RIGHT. 180 00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:45,930 THE MAN YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY. 181 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:47,699 OH. YEAH. 182 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:50,001 THAT'S THE PLAN. 183 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,769 I'M JUST ECSTATIC. 184 00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:54,372 I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE NOT A LITTLE MORE EXCITED. 185 00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,241 OH, I AM, MOTHER. 186 00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:59,677 SOMETIMES I GET SO GIDDY I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MYSELF. 187 00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:05,650 BUT YOU KNOW, YOU CAN ONLY SCREAM SO LONG BEFORE YOU BLACK OUT! 188 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:19,798 I'M NINA. 189 00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:24,335 AND I'M SPECIAL BECAUSE I'M MOVING. 190 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,669 I'M SALLY. 191 00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:27,338 I THINK I AM SO GREAT. 192 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,008 WHOA, YOUR HAIR LOOKS REALLY GOOD TODAY, GIRLFRIEND. 193 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:33,778 OH, SHUT UP. NO, IT DOESN'T. LET'S GO LOOK AT SOME MAGAZINE... 194 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,052 WELL, UH, THAT'S ALL THE UNDERWEAR. 195 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,388 LET'S GET IT DOWN TO THE TRUCK. 196 00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:44,322 OK. 197 00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,962 GOD, I'M GONNA MISS THIS PLACE. 198 00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:53,631 YEAH. WHY ARE YOU MOVING, 199 00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:54,599 BIG-ASS RATS? 200 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,035 NO. THEY RAISED THE RENT. 201 00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:59,371 OH. THAT'S TOO BAD. 202 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,038 IT'S SO BIG AND BRIGHT. 203 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,707 MY ROOM ONLY HAS ONE WINDOW, 204 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,642 AND IT LOOKS OUT ON THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE, 205 00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:06,644 AND SOMETIMES A BROWN MIST FLOATS IN 206 00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:08,646 AND MAKES MY HAIR ALL GREASY. 207 00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:12,083 IF I'D HAVE KNOWN THAT, YOU COULD'VE MOVED IN HERE WITH ME. 208 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,484 US? 209 00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:14,485 ROOMMATES? 210 00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,487 JUST YOU AND ME, NO GUYS? 211 00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:19,490 YEAH. BUT IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT, I GUESS. 212 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,392 NO! NO, IT'S NOT. 213 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,460 FINALLY, THE LAST BOX. 214 00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,728 MY BACK IS KILLING ME. 215 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,229 OH. Y-YOU GOTTA KEEP IT LOOSE. 216 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,665 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO? 217 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,667 YOU GO DOWN, YOU GET ALL OF NINA'S STUFF OFF THE TRUCK, 218 00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,335 AND THEN YOU GO BACK TO OUR PLACE, 219 00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:32,003 GET MY STUFF, AND BRING IT BACK HERE. 220 00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,672 BOY. YOU REALLY THINK IT'LL WORK? 221 00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,206 WELL, I'M WILLING TO GIVE IT A SHOT. 222 00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,775 ACTUALLY, MY BACK FEELS FINE. 223 00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,275 OH, GET MOVING! COME ON. 224 00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:41,546 I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING, DICK. 225 00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,915 THIS IS ONE BAR I'LL NEVER GET THROWN OUT OF. 226 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,552 OH, DICK, I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE THE LINENS ARE 227 00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:49,554 SO YOU CAN MAKE UP THE COUCH. 228 00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:50,555 THE COUCH? 229 00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:53,491 OH, NOW, PUNKIN, 230 00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:56,094 IT'S PERFECTLY OK WITH DADDY AND ME 231 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,929 IF YOU AND DICK SHARE THE SAME ROOM. 232 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,263 NO! NO, I-IT'S NOT. 233 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,432 I KNOW HOW UNCOMFORTABLE IT MAKES YOU FEEL. 234 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,700 REALLY? 235 00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:05,236 NEVER STOPPED YOU BEFORE. 236 00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:06,805 OH, BUT, MOM, I-- 237 00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:07,806 REALLY, PRINCESS, 238 00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,474 NO, IT'S FINE WITH US. 239 00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:12,076 ABOUT TIME THIS HOUSE SAW SOME ACTION. 240 00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:13,077 NO, DAD, REALLY, I--I-- 241 00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:14,411 SAY NO MORE, GEORGE! 242 00:10:14,413 --> 00:10:16,948 IT'S SETTLED. MARY AND I WILL SHARE A ROOM. 243 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,082 DONE DEAL. 244 00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:20,251 NOW LET'S GO OUTSIDE AND SMOKE THESE THINGS. 245 00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,286 I'VE GOT SOME FUNNY STORIES ABOUT MARY. 246 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,288 OH HO HO HO HO HO! 247 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,223 ME, TOO. 248 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:31,963 OH, I CANNOT WAIT TO MOVE OUT ON MY OWN. 249 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,464 IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL. 250 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:37,035 IT'S JUST THAT YOU GUYS ARE REALLY, REALLY ANNOYING, YOU KNOW? 251 00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,036 YEAH. ENOUGH SAID. 252 00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,371 SALLY, WE'RE ALL VERY HAPPY FOR YOU, 253 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:43,741 AND I KNOW THAT THERE ARE GONNA BE SOME GOOD TIMES, 254 00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:46,411 BUT THERE WILL ALSO BE SOME LONELY ONES, AND SO... 255 00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:48,779 I WANT YOU TO HAVE MY GNOME. 256 00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:52,783 NO, HARRY, YOU SEE, 257 00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:56,020 I'M MOVING TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR CRAP. 258 00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:59,591 OK! I GOT MY GNOME BACK. 259 00:10:59,593 --> 00:11:01,026 YOU KNOW, DICK WOULD NEVER GIVE YOU 260 00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,560 PERMISSION TO DO THIS. 261 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:05,630 YEAH. THAT'S WHY I'M DOING IT WHILE HE'S OUT OF TOWN. 262 00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:08,366 WELL, ON THE PLUS SIDE, 263 00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:11,369 AT LEAST WE CAN TURN SALLY'S ROOM INTO A STORAGE AREA. 264 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,872 WELL, WAIT A MINUTE. I DON'T HAVE A ROOM. 265 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,840 OR MAYBE A COOL LITTLE MUSIC ROOM 266 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,475 WITH SOME BLACK-LIGHT POSTERS. 267 00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:21,111 HELLO. MAN WITHOUT A BEDROOM HERE. 268 00:11:21,113 --> 00:11:23,748 YOU KNOW WHAT'D BE EVEN BETTER? 269 00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,282 A SKEEBALL PARLOR. 270 00:11:25,284 --> 00:11:26,984 SKEEBALL? 271 00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:28,085 IN OUR HOME? 272 00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:29,086 YES! 273 00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:30,355 YEAH! 274 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:35,059 NOW HERE'S LITTLE MARY'S SIXTH BIRTHDAY PARTY. 275 00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:37,061 OH, YOU GOT HER A PONY. 276 00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:39,930 NO. THAT'S MARY. 277 00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:45,603 HER UNCLE NEIL GOT HER A BROWN LEDERHOSEN. 278 00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,372 ALL THE WAY FROM MUNICH. 279 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,374 GERMANY. 280 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:52,343 OH, LITTLE MARY'S CRYING. 281 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:55,012 SHE DIDN'T WANT TO SHARE A SHEET CAKE 282 00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:57,848 WITH THE OTHER KIDS. 283 00:11:57,850 --> 00:12:00,151 OH, HERE'S THE BIG SPELLING BEE. 284 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,986 MARY'S WORD IS "BECAUSE." 285 00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:03,454 WATCH HER SWEAT. 286 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:04,756 [MARTHA LAUGHS] 287 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:05,757 George: "B" 288 00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:06,757 "E" 289 00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:07,826 "C" 290 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:08,826 "A" 291 00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:10,394 "W"! 292 00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:17,468 AH! MAGPIE. 293 00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,904 WHY'D YOU MISS SUCH AN EASY WORD? 294 00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,340 BECAUSE. 295 00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:24,608 SHE CAN SAY IT. SHE JUST CAN'T SPELL IT. 296 00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:29,613 YOU'RE A HOOT AND A HALF, SON. 297 00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:30,882 THANK YOU, DADDY. 298 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,487 DICK, CAN I SEE YOU IN THE BEDROOM? 299 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:38,456 OH, COMING, MAGPIE. 300 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,090 OH, YEAH. 301 00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:46,563 WONDERFUL. HE CALLED ME SON. 302 00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:47,899 MY PLAN IS WORKING. 303 00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:50,234 YOUR PLAN TO PISS ME OFF? 304 00:12:50,236 --> 00:12:53,271 NO. MY PLAN TO WIN THEIR HEARTS AND THEN YOURS. 305 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:56,741 OH, SO BY JOINING IN MY PARENTS' PSYCHO MIND GAMES 306 00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:58,676 AND MOCKING MY FAT CHILDHOOD, 307 00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,678 YOU THOUGHT I'D LOVE YOU AGAIN? 308 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,446 PSYCHO MIND GAMES? I--WH-- 309 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:05,316 LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY WONDERFUL PARENTS. 310 00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,218 IN 1961, MY FATHER 311 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,220 HAD AN AFFAIR WITH A STEWARDESS. 312 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,221 WELL... 313 00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,823 YOU MEAN A FLIGHT ATTENDANT. 314 00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,193 NO. 315 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,195 A STEWARDESS. 316 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:19,997 THAT DESPICABLE DOG! 317 00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:21,766 MY MOTHER FOUND THEM TOGETHER, 318 00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:23,434 AND SHE WAS SO WONDERFUL, 319 00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,670 SHE DUMPED IT ALL ON ME. 320 00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:26,871 ME, DICK, 321 00:13:26,873 --> 00:13:28,373 A LITTLE GIRL. 322 00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:31,409 OH, MARY, WHAT AN AWFUL PICTURE-- 323 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:34,278 A BITTER OLD DRUNK DESCRIBING SOME TAWDRY AFFAIR 324 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,847 WHILE SPOON-FEEDING YOU STRAINED BANANAS 325 00:13:36,849 --> 00:13:39,683 AS YOU SIT IN YOUR LITTLE HIGHCHAIR. 326 00:13:39,685 --> 00:13:41,319 WELL, I WAS 9. 327 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:44,322 AND YOU WERE STILL EATING BABY FOOD? MY POOR MARY. 328 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,656 OH, DICK, THE WHOLE-- 329 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,325 THE WHOLE THING TORE ME APART. 330 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,026 I FELT IT WAS MY FAULT. 331 00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:50,361 IT WAS THEIR FAULT, MARY! 332 00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:51,628 I FELT SO ALONE. 333 00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:53,564 YOU'RE NOT ALONE, MARY, NOT ANYMORE! 334 00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:58,936 AND TO THINK I HAD MY HAND IN THAT MAN'S HUMIDOR! 335 00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,612 OHH! 336 00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,714 HARRY, YOU GOTTA HELP ME WITH THIS ONE. 337 00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,782 IT'S FULL OF BOOKS AND ROCKS AND STUFF. 338 00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:13,117 IT WEIGHS A TON. 339 00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:15,686 STEP ASIDE, JUNIOR. 340 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,622 TIME TO CLEAN AND JERK. 341 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,060 1, 2, 3. 342 00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:32,270 IT WAS EMPTY. 343 00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:36,073 NO. 344 00:14:36,075 --> 00:14:38,342 I'M THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD. 345 00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:42,713 OOH, THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN. 346 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:43,714 I KNOW. 347 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,816 SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TONIGHT? 348 00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:46,851 UH, I DON'T KNOW. 349 00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:49,987 UM, MAKE STIR-FRY AND RENT A CHICK FLICK? 350 00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:52,323 YEAH, LIKE FULL METAL JACKET. 351 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,725 OR BOYS ON THE SIDE. 352 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,694 RIGHT, RIGHT. BOYS ON THE SIDE. 353 00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:58,896 OR FULL METAL JACKET! 354 00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:10,207 I'LL GIVE YOU THE SECRET TO A GREAT BLOODY MARY, DICK. 355 00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:11,442 HORSERADISH. 356 00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:14,512 IT'S NOT THE HORSERADISH, GEORGIE. 357 00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:17,314 IT'S THE VODKA. 358 00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:19,316 YOU KNOW, GETTING THIS HOT TUB 359 00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:21,251 WAS THE SMARTEST THING I'VE EVER DONE. 360 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,720 OH, REALLY? 361 00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,722 AND WHAT WOULD THE STUPIDEST, 362 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:27,257 MOST LOATHSOME, AND HURTFUL THING BE? 363 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:31,061 NOT GETTING THE FLOATING THERMOMETER. 364 00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:33,063 CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING, DICK? 365 00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:34,732 A DRINK? MAYBE SOME COFFEE? 366 00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:36,233 TEA. OR MAYBE ME. 367 00:15:36,235 --> 00:15:39,737 IS THAT WHAT THE LITTLE FLYING STRUMPET SAID TO ENTICE YOU? 368 00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:42,439 IS ONE SLEAZY PICKUP LINE ALL IT TAKES 369 00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:43,941 TO DESTROY A FAMILY?! 370 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,776 MARY! 371 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,778 FOR GOD'S SAKES. 372 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,513 YOU TOLD HIM? 373 00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:51,115 I COULDN'T STAND IT ANYMORE. 374 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,116 MARTHA. 375 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:55,019 YOU TOLD OUR DAUGHTER ABOUT MY--MY--MY-- 376 00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:56,521 THAT'S RIGHT! 377 00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,022 YOUR LITTLE FLING. 378 00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:01,025 YOU-HOO-HOO BET I TOLD HER. 379 00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:04,194 SO SHE COULD PLAY THE MARTYR FOR 36 YEARS. 380 00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:05,429 HOW DO YOU THINK I FELT? 381 00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:06,930 ALONE AND SCARED, 382 00:16:06,932 --> 00:16:09,566 A SHEET CAKE HER ONLY SOLACE. 383 00:16:09,568 --> 00:16:12,036 SHE DROVE ME TO IT, PRINCESS. 384 00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:14,038 ALL RIGHT! MAYBE I DID. 385 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,540 BUT I WAS TOO FAT, 386 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:19,043 AND I HATED MY BODY, 387 00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:22,279 AND THOSE DAMN DIET PILLS MADE ME CRAZY. 388 00:16:22,281 --> 00:16:23,781 YOU TOOK DIET PILLS? 389 00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:25,783 OUR FAMILY DOCTOR PRESCRIBED THEM. 390 00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:29,286 FOR GOD'S SAKES, IT WAS THE SIXTIES! 391 00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:33,057 SHE WENT TO DR. POWELL FOR MORE THAN JUST PILLS. 392 00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:34,058 [GASPS] 393 00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:38,095 DR. POWELL?! HE HAD HAIR IN HIS EARS. 394 00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:41,065 SHE WENT TO DR. POWELL, WHO WAS HER COUSIN. 395 00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,500 HE WAS MY STEP-COUSIN! 396 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,235 HE WAS MY GOLF PARTNER! 397 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,702 HE WAS A MAN! 398 00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:47,204 ENOUGH! 399 00:16:47,206 --> 00:16:49,206 YOU TWO LIE TO EACH OTHER 400 00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:50,707 AND CHEAT ON EACH OTHER, 401 00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:52,709 AND I'M STUCK IN THE MIDDLE. 402 00:16:52,711 --> 00:16:54,711 YOU'VE MADE MY LIFE MISERABLE. 403 00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:57,614 WHY THE HELL DID THE TWO OF YOU STAY MARRIED? 404 00:16:57,616 --> 00:17:02,019 [THROUGH CLENCHED TEETH] TO TRY TO GIVE YOU A HAPPY HOME. 405 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,520 OH, MY GOD! 406 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,023 LOOK AT THE TWO OF YOU! 407 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,159 HAVE YOU NO SHAME? 408 00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:22,540 UM, SALLY, I KNOW YOU JUST GOT HERE, 409 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,274 BUT YOU LEFT YOUR SOCKS-- 410 00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:25,275 SHH. HONEY... 411 00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:26,711 IT'S SHARK WEEK. 412 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,646 YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU 413 00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:31,048 MOVE THAT FUTON INTO YOUR ROOM? 414 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,049 MY ROOM? 415 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,518 YEAH. THE ROOM DOWN THE HALL. 416 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,153 OH, NO. I LIKE THIS ROOM. 417 00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:38,155 THIS IS THE LIVING ROOM. 418 00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:40,157 YEAH, AND I'M GONNA LIVE IN IT. 419 00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:43,094 YOU GOT TO PICK YOUR ROOM, I GET TO PICK MINE. 420 00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:44,561 NO WAY. 421 00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:47,030 LOOK, I DIDN'T COMPLAIN WHEN YOU FINISHED MY MILK. 422 00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:49,833 YOUR MILK? YOU JUST WROTE "SALLY" ON MY MILK. 423 00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:51,835 SO THAT'S HOW IT'S GONNA BE, HUH? 424 00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:54,338 WELL, AS LONG AS WE'RE BEING HONEST WITH EACH OTHER, 425 00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:56,874 I DON'T LIKE HOW YOU LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT DOWN. 426 00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:59,409 THAT'S THE WAY WOMEN USE IT. 427 00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:01,645 YEAH, SURE, NINA. 428 00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:04,014 THAT'S THE WAY WOMEN USE IT. 429 00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:05,515 LOOK, YOU KNOW, BEING YOUR ROOMMATE 430 00:18:05,517 --> 00:18:07,551 IS NOT AS MUCH FUN AS IT USED TO BE. 431 00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:09,653 YOU'VE ONLY BEEN HERE AN HOUR AND A HALF. 432 00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,822 YEAH, AND IT'S AN HOUR AND A HALF TOO LONG. 433 00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:13,824 ALL RIGHT, THIS IS IT. 434 00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,492 THE LAST BOX OF SHOES. 435 00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:17,494 WELL... LOAD IT UP, BOYS, 436 00:18:17,496 --> 00:18:19,530 'CAUSE I'M MOVIN' OUT! 437 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:22,366 NO. 438 00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:24,368 ABSOLUTELY NOT! 439 00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:28,972 SALLY, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE-- 440 00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:30,374 DO IT, OR I'LL KILL YOU. 441 00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:31,309 OK. 442 00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,016 YOU KNOW... 443 00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:40,517 THIS WEEKEND 444 00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:43,955 HAS BEEN MORE CATHARTIC FOR ME 445 00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:46,924 THAN THE ENTIRE TIME I SPENT IN REHAB. 446 00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:51,161 REHAB? 447 00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:54,731 1982. 448 00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:56,233 I KNOW. 449 00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:59,636 I SAID I WAS VISITING YOUR AUNT DEE DEE. 450 00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,505 OK, MARY, EVERYTHING'S PACKED. 451 00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,473 CHOP-CHOP, GOTTA GO. 452 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:04,574 DICK... 453 00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,012 I THINK WE SHOULD STAY. 454 00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,179 WHAT? 455 00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:10,848 MY PARENTS AND I HAVE BEEN TALKING 456 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,349 SINCE THE LITTLE BLOWUP IN THE HOT TUB, 457 00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:13,951 AND I THINK WE'VE MADE SOME PROGRESS. 458 00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:16,453 PROGRESS? ARE THEY GETTING A DIVORCE? 459 00:19:16,455 --> 00:19:17,921 DIVORCE? 460 00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:19,757 THEY'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 46 YEARS. 461 00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,993 YES, BUT 46 HORRIBLE YEARS. 462 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,995 I'M SURE THEY'VE HAD THEIR UPS AND DOWNS, 463 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,464 BUT IT'S ONLY MADE THEM STRONGER. THAT'S WHAT MARRIAGE IS. 464 00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:29,533 OH, MY GOD, THEY'VE BRAINWASHED YOU. 465 00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:31,201 NOW YOU'RE ONE OF THEM. 466 00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:33,203 DICK, I WANT TO THANK YOU 467 00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:35,706 FOR BRINGING EVERYTHING OUT IN THE OPEN. 468 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:38,709 I FEEL LIKE A TREMENDOUS WEIGHT'S BEEN LIFTED FROM THIS FAMILY. 469 00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,210 I WANT TO TELL YOU TWO SOMETHING. 470 00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:42,246 THERE'S NOTHING MORE EXHILARATING THAN HONESTY. 471 00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:43,247 OH! 472 00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:46,250 OH! SO HONESTY'S YOUR GAME, IS IT? 473 00:19:46,252 --> 00:19:47,818 YEAH, I'LL GIVE YOU HONESTY. 474 00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,319 YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE 475 00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:51,788 MARY MARGARET RAGAMUFFIN MAGPIE HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU! 476 00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,290 SHE DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO COME HERE 477 00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:55,059 BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU THAT-- 478 00:19:56,161 --> 00:19:58,428 OUR ENGAGEMENT IS OFF! WE'RE THROUGH! 479 00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:00,564 BUT THAT'S OK, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO MARRY HER ANYWAY. 480 00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:02,866 I DON'T WANT TO MARRY ANYONE-- NOT AFTER MEETING YOU. 481 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:05,569 IF THIS MARRIAGE WAS A HORSE, YOU'D SHOOT IT! 482 00:20:10,509 --> 00:20:12,376 DICK, WE FORGIVE YOU. 483 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:13,377 FORGIVE ME? 484 00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,012 WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COCOA? 485 00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:18,015 I DON'T WANT ANY COCOA. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING. 486 00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:20,017 I JUST WANT TO CLIMB INTO A SPACESHIP 487 00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:22,086 AND FLY TO A FAR-OFF GALAXY, 488 00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:26,090 MILLIONS OF LIGHT-YEARS AWAY FROM THIS TWISTED AND SADISTIC 489 00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:28,292 HUMAN FREAK SHOW! 490 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,929 HE'S THE ONE. HE'S THE ONE. 491 00:20:36,835 --> 00:20:38,902 SO HOW DID THE MOVE GO? 492 00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:41,838 WELL, THE FIRST ONE WENT PRETTY SMOOTH, 493 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,341 BUT THE SECOND ONE WAS A BITCH. 494 00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:47,844 WE HAD A GOOD RHYTHM GOING FOR THE THIRD MOVE, 495 00:20:47,846 --> 00:20:50,414 BUT THE FOURTH AND FIFTH MOVES WERE JUST HELL. 496 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:51,582 WUSSIES. 497 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,084 YOU KNOW, I REALLY DODGED A BULLET TODAY, DICK. 498 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:57,087 TO THINK I WAS THIS CLOSE TO MOVING IN WITH NINA. 499 00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:00,157 HAH. SHE'S NOT NEARLY SOPHISTICATED ENOUGH FOR ME. 500 00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:02,159 I DODGED A BULLET, TOO. 501 00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:05,662 I THOUGHT MARRIAGE WAS A BEAUTIFUL UNION OF 2 SOULS. 502 00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:10,167 IT TURNS OUT IT'S A HOT, BUBBLING, CHLORINATED SEA OF LIES, 503 00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:14,037 BETRAYALS, AND ADDICTIONS, AND I DON'T WANT TO GO THERE. 504 00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:16,206 WELL, I'LL GO. THAT SOUNDS RELAXING. 505 00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:19,209 NO. FROM NOW ON, WE'RE FOOTLOOSE AND FANCY-FREE. 506 00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:20,711 FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, 507 00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:23,513 PEOPLE WILL REFER TO ME AS A LIFELONG BACHELOR. 508 00:21:23,515 --> 00:21:26,016 YOU'RE NOT GONNA START WEARING PASTEL CARDIGANS 509 00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:28,485 AND OPEN UP AN ANTIQUE STORE, ARE YOU? 510 00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:31,222 WHATEVER GETS ME THE LADIES. 511 00:21:32,358 --> 00:21:35,259 YEAH, DICK, YOU'LL DO GREAT. 512 00:21:35,261 --> 00:21:38,195 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org-- 513 00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:46,136 GEORGE, THERE'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO TELL YOU. 514 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,505 I'M LISTENING. 515 00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:50,874 YOU'RE NOT MARY'S FATHER. 516 00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:58,449 I'VE SUSPECTED THAT FOR A LONG TIME, MARTHA. 517 00:21:58,451 --> 00:22:00,550 DOES SHE KNOW? 518 00:22:00,552 --> 00:22:02,052 OH, DON'T BE SILLY. 519 00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:03,220 OF COURSE NOT. 520 00:22:03,222 --> 00:22:04,755 GOOD. 521 00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:07,958 NEXT TIME THEY VISIT.