1
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,674
HEY. WHERE ARE
ALL THE MARSHMALLOW
BITS?
2
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:17,015
THEY JUST
POURED OUT THAT WAY.
3
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:24,356
HEY, YOU GUYS. LOOK.
DUBCEK GAVE ME
A TOMATO PLANT.
4
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,358
I'M GONNA FEED IT,
AND IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS,
5
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,293
WE'LL HAVE FRESH, PLUMP,
JUICY TOMATOES.
6
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:30,796
SILLY SALLY. YOU CAN
GO DOWN TO THE CORNER
7
00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:33,298
AND GET FRESH TOMATOES
FROM MR. LEE,
8
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,934
AND YOU DON'T HAVE
TO FEED HIM NOTHIN'.
9
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:38,703
HE HATES IT
WHEN YOU EVEN TRY.
10
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,540
Dick: SALLY!
LOOK AT THIS!
11
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,676
YOU SHRUNK
MY FAVORITE PANTS!
NO, I DIDN'T.
12
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:48,080
THEN GIVE ME ONE
OTHER LOGICAL EXPLANATION
WHY THEY DON'T FIT ANYMORE.
13
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:49,581
I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE--
14
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,583
HUSH! HUSH!
[ICE-CREAM TRUCK
MUSIC PLAYING]
15
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,085
LISTEN!
MR. FROSTY SMOOTH!
16
00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:54,586
OH,
HE'S EARLY TODAY.
17
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:55,920
MR. FROSTY SMOOTH!
18
00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:57,189
MR. FROSTY SMOOTH!
19
00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:39,898
GOOD MORNING, NINA.
20
00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:42,934
[COOLLY] MARY.
21
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:45,237
[ICILY] MORNING.
22
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:48,474
I, UH...LIKE YOUR BELT,
DR. SOLOMON.
23
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:51,677
THIS ISN'T A BELT,
NINA. IT'S A TIE.
24
00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:54,113
I THINK SOMEBODY'S
GETTING A SPARE TIRE.
25
00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:55,614
FORGET IT, MARY.
IT'S A LITTLE LATE
26
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,717
TO TRY TO BUY
MY AFFECTION WITH GIFTS.
27
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,686
I MEANT
YOU'VE GAINED WEIGHT.
28
00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:03,188
WHY SHOULD I BE CONCERNED
ABOUT GAINING WEIGHT?
29
00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:05,190
MY BODY IS JUST THE VEHICLE
30
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:07,192
THAT CARRIES MY BRAIN
AROUND,
31
00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:10,462
AND MY BRAIN DESERVES
A SMOOTH, LUXURIOUS RIDE.
32
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:13,265
OK, DICK. GET FAT.
I DON'T CARE.
33
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,533
WELL, I DON'T CARE
IF YOU DO CARE.
34
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,835
AS IF I CARED THAT YOU
DIDN'T CARE THAT I CARED.
35
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:20,038
AS IF I CARED THAT YOU
DO CARE IF I CARE OR NOT.
36
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:23,141
I COULDN'T CARE LESS
IF YOU CARE THAT I CARE!
37
00:02:25,912 --> 00:02:28,346
WELL, NOW, THAT
WAS UNCALLED FOR!
38
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,255
PEANUT BRITTLE?
39
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:38,757
YOU KNOW, DR. SOLOMON,
40
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:41,126
SOMETIMES WHEN THERE ARE
CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE,
41
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:44,129
YOU USE EATING AS A WAY
OF FILLING THAT VOID.
42
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:47,065
CHANGES? WELL, NOTHING
HAS CHANGED IN MY LIFE.
43
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:48,800
WELL, EXCEPT FOR THE FACT
44
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,135
THAT MARY AND I
ARE NO LONGER...
45
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:53,071
ROMPING LUSTFULLY
IN PASTURES OF DELIGHT,
46
00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:56,208
OUR WRITHING BODIES
ETERNALLY ENTWINED,
47
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:58,143
GLISTENING
LIKE THE MORNING DEW.
48
00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:02,414
BINGO.
49
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:03,848
[MOUTH FULL]
OH, POPPYCOCK!
50
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,584
YOU DON'T SEE
MARY GAINING WEIGHT,
51
00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:09,087
AND SHE'S LOST
A LOT MORE THAN I HAVE!
52
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:10,655
SHE LOST ME!
53
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,394
DID YOU HEAR
ABOUT THAT GUY
54
00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:19,331
WHO CUT OFF HIS FINGER
IN SHOP CLASS AND THEN
SEWED IT BACK ON IN HOME EC?
55
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,302
THAT'S JUST
AN URBAN MYTH.
56
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:26,638
OH, DID YOU WANT
TO SEE THUNDER TRAIN?
IT'S PLAYING AT 6:00.
57
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,673
I ALREADY SAW IT.
WHEN DID YOU SEE IT?
58
00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,276
JUST
THE OTHER NIGHT.
59
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:32,443
YOU KNOW...
60
00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:33,845
BY MYSELF.
61
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,714
YOU NEVER GO
TO THE MOVIES
BY YOURSELF.
62
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,282
WELL...YEAH, BUT...
63
00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:39,184
WENDY REALLY
WANTED TO SEE IT.
64
00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:41,353
WAIT, WAIT. WAIT.
65
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:45,122
YOU SAW IT ALONE
WITH WENDY?
66
00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:47,792
WELL,
I COULDN'T VERY WELL
HAVE BEEN ALONE
67
00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:50,562
IF I SAW IT
WITH WENDY...
NOW, COULD I?
68
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:56,601
AAH!
69
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:03,542
WHY ARE YOU SO JUMPY?
70
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:08,713
OH! I'M SMACK DAB
IN THE MIDDLE
OF DYING IS DEADLY.
71
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:11,716
NUMBER 14
IN THE ANSON NEMBROOK
DETECTIVE SERIES.
72
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,552
OH, IT'S A GRIPPER.
73
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,520
I THINK AUGUST
IS CHEATING ON ME.
74
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:18,423
WHY? DID SHE TAKE OUT
A BIG INSURANCE POLICY
ON YOU
75
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:22,594
AND THEN HAVE HER LOVER
CUT YOUR BRAKE LINES?
76
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,263
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO.
77
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:26,265
WELL, DON'T ASK ME.
78
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:29,868
I'M 3 DAYS AWAY
FROM RETIREMENT.
79
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:31,203
I GOTTA KNOW.
80
00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:32,870
OK! YOU TALKED ME
INTO IT.
81
00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:34,740
I'LL TAIL HER
FOR YA.
82
00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:36,141
I COULD DO THAT.
83
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,343
OH, YEAH, BUT
SHE KNOWS YOU.
84
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,178
SHE KNOWS YOU, TOO.
85
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:42,914
WELL, YEAH,
BUT NOT INTIMATELY.
86
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:43,948
ME, NEITHER.
87
00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:47,885
REALLY? WELL, THEN
WHY DO YOU CARE?
88
00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:52,590
OHH!
89
00:04:52,592 --> 00:04:54,359
WELL, THAT LOOKS
PRETTY CRAPPY.
90
00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:57,895
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I DID EVERYTHING
I'M SUPPOSED TO DO.
91
00:04:57,897 --> 00:04:59,230
IT'S JUST NOT WORKING.
92
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,700
MARTHA STEWART SAYS
IT HELPS IF YOU TALK
TO YOUR PLANTS.
93
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:03,634
OH, YEAH?
MMM.
94
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:07,172
HI.
95
00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:13,511
I'M SALLY.
96
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:15,580
Dick: SALLY!
97
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:18,083
[PANTING]
98
00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:20,018
SALLY,
DO I LOOK FAT?
99
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:22,921
YOU WANT THE TRUTH?
NO.
100
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,489
YOU LOOK GREAT.
YOU DON'T MEAN THAT.
101
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,091
OK.
102
00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:27,959
WELL, THANKS A LOT!
103
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,194
OH, DICK, JUST BE
THANKFUL YOU'RE A MAN.
104
00:05:30,196 --> 00:05:32,998
YOU KNOW,
I MEAN, YOU GUYS
CAN GET AWAY WITH IT.
105
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,233
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
106
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:37,635
OH, DON'T I? YOU KNOW,
107
00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:39,437
THE ONLY TIME A WOMAN
IS ALLOWED TO GET FAT
108
00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:41,439
IS WHEN SHE'S PREGNANT,
BUT SHE CAN'T
EVEN ENJOY IT
109
00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:46,044
BECAUSE SHE'S BARFING
ALL THE TIME AND HER BOOBS
ARE TURNING INTO A RESTAURANT.
110
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:49,047
BUT MEN CAN BALLOON UP
TO THE SIZE
OF A VOLKSWAGEN
111
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,816
AND STILL GET DATES.
112
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:52,217
WELL, THAT'S GREAT!
113
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,152
OH, NOT YOU, DICK.
YOU'RE SLOPPY FAT.
114
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:59,524
OH, ALL RIGHT, FINE.
SO WHAT IF I HAVE
PUT ON A LITTLE WEIGHT?
115
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:02,393
BIG DEAL. I CAN LOSE IT.
I'M THE HIGH COMMANDER
OF THIS BODY.
116
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:04,228
I'LL JUST ORDER IT
TO STOP EATING.
117
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:07,833
NO, DICK. IT'S
AN EARTH BODY, OK?
IT WON'T LISTEN TO YOU.
118
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:10,902
FIRST THING WE NEED
IS A STRATEGY. LOOK WHAT
I WAS READING EARLIER TODAY.
119
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:13,171
"FARMER LOSES LEG
IN WOOD CHIPPER"?
120
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:17,242
WELL, THAT'S GOTTA BE
10 POUNDS RIGHT THERE.
121
00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:19,911
NO. NOT THAT. THIS.
122
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:23,848
"SUZANNE SOMERS REVEALS
HER SECRET SUMMER
SLIMMING TIPS."
123
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,418
I WANT TO KNOW!
124
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:43,935
SO, UM...
125
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,937
HOW'S YOUR DIET
GOING, DR. SOLOMON?
126
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,372
OH, IT'S NOT
JUST A DIET, NINA.
127
00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:50,341
IT'S A COMPLETE
LIFESTYLE CHANGE.
128
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:52,744
SALLY JUST SIGNED ME UP
FOR A STEP CLASS.
129
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,779
I'M DRINKING
8 16-OUNCE GLASSES
OF WATER A DAY,
130
00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:57,282
AND I CAN EAT ALL
THE GRAPEFRUIT I LIKE.
131
00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:58,950
I SUPPOSE
YOU HAVE TO DIET
132
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,653
WHEN YOU DON'T
HAVE THE WILLPOWER
TO SIMPLY EAT RIGHT.
133
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:05,657
MMM.
134
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,899
YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE
HOW DELICIOUS
THIS GRAPEFRUIT IS.
135
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:14,833
Mary: MMM.
136
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,176
WOULD EITHER OF YOU
LIKE A TASTE?
137
00:07:24,178 --> 00:07:26,111
NO, THANKS.
THAT'S
ALL RIGHT.
138
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,545
CAN I TASTE YOURS?
139
00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:31,082
YOU KNOW, DICK,
IF YOU'RE TOO WEAK
140
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:34,252
TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM
WITH PIZZA, NINA AND I
CAN GO IN HER OFFICE.
141
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,520
OH, NO, NO, NO.
THAT--THAT'S
NOT NECESSARY.
142
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:40,792
I'LL GIVE YOU
A WHOLE GRAPEFRUIT
FOR JUST ONE PEPPERONI!
143
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,727
LET'S GO.
144
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:45,096
NO! UH...UH...
HOW ABOUT 2?
2 GRAPEFRUITS!
145
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,966
2 DELICIOUS GRAPEFRUITS!
146
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,868
AND MY WATCH!
147
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,873
HEY, YOU THIRSTY?
148
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,374
OH, I KNOW YOU.
149
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:58,810
YOU WOULDN'T SAY
ANYTHING IF YOU WERE.
150
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,914
THAT'S WHAT I LIKE
ABOUT YOU, YOU KNOW.
151
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:06,251
YOU'RE NOT RUDE
OR DEMANDING LIKE
MOST PEOPLE I KNOW.
152
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:09,154
YOU MUST BE BORED
OUT OF YOUR MIND.
153
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,355
NO. NOT AT ALL.
154
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:12,290
I WAS TALKING
TO THE PLANT.
155
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:20,565
WELL, TOMMY, I'VE GOT
THE EVIDENCE RIGHT HERE.
156
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:21,566
WHUP!
157
00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:23,568
BUT I HAVE
TO WARN YOU, KID.
158
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:26,237
YOU MIGHT NOT
LIKE WHAT YOU SEE.
159
00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,242
[GASPS]
160
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:35,580
HARRY...
ALL THESE PICTURES
ARE OVEREXPOSED!
161
00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:38,083
WELL, I TOLD YOU
YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT.
162
00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,185
WHAT WAS SHE DOING?
163
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,589
"3:35.
164
00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:46,924
"SPOT AUGUST
TALKING TO FRIENDS.
165
00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:49,594
"3:42. AUGUST
GETS ON BICYCLE.
166
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:51,095
"PURSUE ON FOOT.
167
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:53,964
3:46. TRIP
OVER GARBAGE CAN."
168
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,535
"3:46. FOLLOW AUGUST
TO THE LIBRARY,
169
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,204
"WHERE SHE STUDIES ALONE
UNTIL IT CLOSES...
170
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,540
"AT 3:46.
171
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,208
"I THEN
FOLLOW HER HOME,
172
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,378
"WHERE SHE ARRIVES
AT EXACTLY...
173
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,746
3:46."
174
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,082
HARRY,
WHAT TIME IS IT?
175
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,151
3:46.
176
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,354
WHERE DOES THE DAY GO?
177
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,659
Woman: AND UP!
AND STEP!
178
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,727
AND UP!
AND STEP!
179
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,829
AND UP!
AND STEP!
180
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,734
EYE OF THE TIGER, DICK!
181
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,737
IF I CAN DO IT,
YOU CAN DO IT!
182
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,905
Woman:
AND STEP! AND UP!
183
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:37,242
AND STEP! AND DOWN!
184
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:40,378
UP AND STEP
AND UP AND STEP!
185
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:41,646
[PLOP]
186
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:48,119
THAT'S AS FAR
AS IT'LL GO.
187
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,787
OH, FIDDLE-DEE-DEE.
188
00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:53,124
I'VE GOTTA GET BACK
DOWN TO A 32 WAIST.
189
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:56,561
OK! ON THE COUNT
OF 3, DEEP BREATH.
190
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,463
1, 2, 3.
191
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,767
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
192
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,704
I'M BECOMING THIN
AGAIN. SALLY!
193
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,272
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GONNA EXERCISE.
194
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,107
SALLY! HELP HARRY!
WHAT?!
195
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,542
WHAT IS THAT?
196
00:10:10,544 --> 00:10:11,743
IT'S CALLED
"THE SHATNER."
197
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:14,212
NOW, NOW,
GO ON, PULL.
198
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,847
TOMMY! TOMMY!
PULL. PULL.
199
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:20,785
1, 2, 3, GO!
ALL RIGHT.
GOT IT.
200
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,620
THANK YOU,
LIEUTENANT.
201
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,955
OH--WHAT--NO.
DICK. DICK.
202
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:25,890
DICK!
203
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:37,002
DR. SOLOMON!
YOU LOOK GREAT!
204
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:39,004
THANK YOU, NINA.
205
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:41,171
I FEEL GREAT.
206
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:02,227
YOU DROPPED
YOUR CALCULATOR.
207
00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:03,995
NO. THAT'S
WHERE I KEEP IT.
208
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:08,132
3 TIMES 4 EQUALS...
209
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,770
12. JUST AS I THOUGHT.
210
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:14,505
HERE. LET ME
GET THAT FOR YOU.
211
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:21,245
THANK YOU.
212
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,581
[RIP]
213
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:27,619
WHAT WAS THAT?
214
00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:28,987
Mary: DICK?
215
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,088
EXCUSE ME.
216
00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:36,660
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
217
00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:38,162
ALL RIGHT?
218
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:39,730
I COULDN'T
BE BETTER.
219
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:46,004
[HISSING]
220
00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:56,781
Harry: OOH! OH!
221
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:03,955
HARRY?
222
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,556
I'M NOT HARRY.
223
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:09,961
UM...WHAT ARE YOU
DOING WITH THE CAMERA?
224
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:10,895
WHAT CAMERA?
225
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:18,069
PUT DOWN THE RIBS
AND STEP AWAY
FROM THE PLATTER.
226
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:21,973
NO.
227
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,975
OK, THEN. BUT
MAKE NO MISTAKE--
228
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:25,710
IF YOU TAKE ONE BITE
OUT OF THAT,
229
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:28,145
YOU'RE GONNA
HATE YOURSELF MORE
THAN YOU ALREADY DO.
230
00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:30,481
ARE YOU PREPARED TO FACE
THOSE CONSEQUENCES,
SOLDIER?!
231
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:33,284
URRHH!
232
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:36,788
YOU'RE PATHETIC.
233
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:39,390
OH, I KNOW! YOU KNOW,
NINA WAS RIGHT.
234
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,825
I DO HAVE
A GAPING HOLE
INSIDE OF ME,
235
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:43,827
BUT IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
IT'S THIS BODY!
236
00:12:43,829 --> 00:12:45,897
IT HAS A STUPID
DESIGN FLAW.
237
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:49,167
IT THINKS IT CAN FILL
AN EMOTIONAL VOID
WITH FOOD!
238
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,335
GOD. COME ON, JEREMY.
239
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:53,004
YOU NAMED IT
JEREMY?
240
00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:55,507
I WAS GONNA CALL
HIM LYCOPERSICON
ESCULENTUM,
241
00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:57,909
BUT IT SOUNDED
KINDA SNOTTY.
242
00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,410
COME ON,
HARRY.
243
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:00,845
I SEE.
244
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,847
SO SUDDENLY
IT'S A CRIME
FOR A GROWN MAN
245
00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:04,515
TO HANG AROUND
THE HIGH SCHOOL
246
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,217
TAKING PICTURES
OF THE YOUNG GIRLS.
247
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:09,587
WHATCHA EATIN' THERE,
DICK?
248
00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:10,955
RIBS.
249
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:11,956
FAT-FREE RIBS?
250
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,457
OH, SHUT UP!
251
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,193
MY DIET IS DEAD.
252
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,961
OH. DIET, HUH?
MUST BE ROUGH.
253
00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:21,065
LUCKY FOR ME,
I WAS BLESSED WITH
A HIGH METABOLISM.
254
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:24,169
THANKS FOR THE RIDE,
DON.
255
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:25,670
HOLD IT THERE,
HARRY.
256
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:27,672
I CAN ONLY RELEASE YOU
INTO THE CUSTODY
OF A FAMILY MEMBER.
257
00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:29,006
WELL,
I'M RIGHT HERE.
258
00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:30,575
NOT YOU.
WHERE'S SALLY?
259
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:31,910
SHE'S IN THE OTHER ROOM.
260
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,311
IS SHE ALONE?
261
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,612
WELL, SHE'S WITH JEREMY.
262
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:35,914
JEREMY.
263
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,882
WELL, IT'S LIKE
SHE'S OBSESSED.
264
00:13:43,255 --> 00:13:44,655
YOU GOT ANY MORE
HOT SAUCE?
265
00:13:47,927 --> 00:13:49,426
CAN I HAVE A RIB?
266
00:13:49,428 --> 00:13:50,361
NO!
NO!
267
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:12,350
DR. SOLOMON--
268
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,852
NOT NOW.
I'M WORKING.
269
00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,353
OH, MY GOD!
270
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,355
WHAT IS
ALL THIS STUFF?
271
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,757
IT'S NOT MINE! OH!
272
00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:21,325
IT'S THOSE
DAMNED RACCOONS!
273
00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:23,728
THEY HAVE LITTLE HANDS,
YOU KNOW.
274
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,062
YOU'RE REALLY
WORRYING ME.
275
00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:27,498
OH, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
276
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,134
LOOK AT YOURSELF.
277
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:31,536
NO!
LOOK AT YOURSELF.
278
00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:36,306
WHO AM I KIDDING?
279
00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:38,977
I'M HUGE!
280
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,644
OH, NINA!
281
00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,080
I'M DOOMED--
282
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:45,083
DOOMED TO A LIFE
OF FORLORN PUDGERY.
283
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:48,552
I'M GONNA BE REFERRED
TO AS "HUSKY" AND "JOLLY."
284
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,788
PEOPLE WILL NICKNAME ME
"TINY," AND THEY'LL LAUGH
285
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,290
AND THROW ROTTEN FRUIT
AT MY REAR
286
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:53,924
AS I PASS THEM
IN THE STREETS!
287
00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:55,660
NOBODY DOES THAT.
288
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,427
WELL, I DO.
289
00:14:57,429 --> 00:14:59,530
OH, NINA, I NEED HELP!
290
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:03,534
GOOD. DR, SOLOMON,
ADMITTING YOU NEED HELP
IS HALF THE BATTLE.
291
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,369
THE OTHER HALF
WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO BE
292
00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:07,105
A CHERRY CHEESECAKE,
WOULD IT?
293
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,607
YOU KNOW
WHERE YOU STAND.
294
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,142
HUH. WELL,
IT SHOULD BE.
295
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:16,280
TOMMY! THIS TIME
I'VE GOT GOOD NEWS.
296
00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:17,281
WHAT IS IT?
297
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,016
AUGUST IS
CHEATING ON YOU.
298
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:23,454
DARRIN LASKEY.
299
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:24,455
YEAH.
300
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,457
HARRY, HOW IS THIS
GOOD NEWS?
301
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:29,961
OH, WELL,
LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS.
302
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:31,462
WHAT'S THAT, DICK?
303
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:34,465
NINA SAYS I NEED
MORE STRUCTURE
AND SUPPORT,
304
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:38,135
SO I--I JOINED
A WEIGHT-LOSS
PROGRAM--
305
00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:39,303
FAT-LOSERS.
306
00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:43,874
"THE FAT-LOSERS
7-DAY DIET PLAN."
307
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:45,376
WELL, NOW
WE'RE TALKING!
308
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,278
BUT IT LOOKS SO HARD!
309
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,579
OH, QUIT
BEING A BABY.
310
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:51,282
THIS IS EXACTLY
WHAT YOU NEED, DICK,
SOME DISCIPLINE.
311
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:55,753
OK. LET'S--
LET'S, UH, START
WITH THE BREAD GROUP.
312
00:15:55,755 --> 00:16:00,625
OK. HA. YOU CAN HAVE
HALF A REDUCED-CALORIE
BAGEL,
313
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:04,595
OR YOU CAN EXCHANGE IT
FOR 6 SALTINES
AND A TORTILLA!
314
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:07,331
AH. TONIGHT
YOU WILL BE HAVING
315
00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:09,100
THE LO-CAL
SYMPHONY SALAD.
316
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:12,569
ALL RIGHT. HERE,
GIVE ME YOUR TOMATO.
317
00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,974
WHAT, MY--MY TOMATO?
318
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,943
UM...UH, MAYBE
WE'RE RUSHING THINGS
HERE, DICK.
319
00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:22,780
I MEAN,
LOOK, WE'RE RACING
THROUGH A WHOLE WORLD
320
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,282
OF COTTAGE CHEESE
OPTIONS.
321
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:26,751
NO. I'VE MADE MY DECISION.
NOW GIVE ME YOUR TOMATO!
322
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,886
NO! DON'T MAKE ME
DO THIS, DICK!
I'LL TAKE THAT ONE.
323
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:32,457
JEREMY?!
YES, AND THOSE
2 LITTLE COWARDS
HIDING BEHIND HIM.
324
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:34,258
AAAHHH!
325
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:40,398
HI. A NEW FACE.
HAVE YOU WEIGHED IN YET?
326
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,900
UH, YES. THAT
FAT-LOSER OVER THERE
HELPED ME.
327
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:48,406
THAT'S LILLY.
SHE'S BEEN A FAT-LOSER
FOR OVER 9 YEARS.
328
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:51,375
WELL, I SEE YOU
HAVE YOUR WATER BOTTLE
AND YOUR MENU PLANNER.
329
00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:52,710
HERE'S A FOOD SCALE.
330
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:55,747
OH. IT'S OFFICIAL.
I'M A FAT-LOSER.
331
00:16:55,749 --> 00:16:56,814
CONGRATULATIONS.
332
00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:59,250
OK, COULD EVERYBODY
PLEASE TAKE A SEAT?
333
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:02,754
I'VE GOT A LOT
OF GOOD NEWS HERE
TODAY, PEOPLE.
334
00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:05,422
JOE McBRIDE,
2 POUNDS!
335
00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:08,393
AND HE SPENT
THE WEEKEND
IN NEW ORLEANS!
336
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:11,095
GOD, I LOVE
THAT CRAWFISH.
337
00:17:11,097 --> 00:17:13,598
STEPHANIE HAYES,
4 WHOLE POUNDS.
338
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,734
YEAH, YOU HEARD ME.
4 POUNDS.
339
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:19,937
NOW, HERE'S
SOMEONE WHO IS FINALLY
HOLDING HER GROUND.
340
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:23,340
NO LOSS, BUT NO GAIN--
MARY ALBRIGHT.
341
00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:29,380
MARY?
342
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:31,716
DICK!
343
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,418
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
YOU'D BEEN COMING HERE?
344
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:34,552
IT'S NONE
OF YOUR BUSINESS.
345
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,786
BUT IT'S YOUR BUSINESS
346
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:37,788
TO STAND BY AND
WATCH ME SUFFER ALONE
347
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:42,126
WHILE YOU SECRETLY FIND
HELP IN THE PILLOWY BOSOM
OF THIS SUPPORT GROUP!
348
00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:44,728
LET'S HEAR FROM
OUR NEWEST FAT-LOSER.
349
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:49,400
HELLO. MY NAME IS DICK,
AND I'M A FAT-LOSER.
350
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,435
SIT DOWN!
351
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,437
NO. I HAVE
A LOT TO SAY.
352
00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:55,740
BUT I DON'T WANT
TO BORE YOU ALL
WITH WHY I'M HERE.
353
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,342
I WANT TO TELL YOU
WHY MARY ALBRIGHT
IS HERE.
354
00:17:58,344 --> 00:17:59,343
DICK!
355
00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:00,945
YOU SEE,
WE WERE LOVERS ONCE,
356
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:03,748
BUT THAT'S
ALL OVER NOW.
357
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:07,185
AND SHE PRETENDS
THAT SHE'S OK WITH IT,
BUT SHE'S NOT.
358
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:09,920
AND SO SHE'S BEEN
TRYING TO REPLACE ME
WITH OTHER MEN.
359
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,355
MEN LIKE OSCAR MEYER...
360
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,292
BEN & JERRY...
361
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,727
AND THE PILLSBURY
DOUGHBOY!
362
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,028
DICK, PLEASE.
363
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:21,198
AUGUST.
364
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:24,502
ARE YOU
CHEATING ON ME?
WHAT?
365
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,971
HARRY SAW
YOU KISSING
DARRIN LASKEY.
366
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:29,474
DARRIN LASKEY.
HE'S IN MY DRAMA CLASS.
367
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,642
WE WERE DOING
A SCENE TOGETHER.
368
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:32,943
A SCENE?
369
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,946
OH. OH, MY GOD.
I MUST LOOK
LIKE SUCH AN IDIOT.
370
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:40,284
YOU WERE DOING A SCENE?
WHAT A FOOL I AM.
THAT HARRY, HE'S--
371
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:41,551
HEY, AUGUST.
372
00:18:41,553 --> 00:18:44,554
AND KEVIN DOUGLAS.
YOU MUST BE
IN DRAMA CLASS, TOO.
373
00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:47,057
SO YOU'RE QUITE
A LITTLE ACTRESS
THERE, AUGUST.
374
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:49,059
SO YOU TWO ARE JUST
REHEARSING AWAY.
375
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,394
IT'S
VERY CONVINCING.
376
00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,663
I'D--I'D PAY TO SEE
SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
377
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:57,234
SO, NOW, TELL ME,
KEVIN, SO YOU'RE,
UH...YOU'RE, UH...
378
00:18:57,236 --> 00:19:02,039
YOU'RE...KISSING...
YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND,
AREN'T YOU?
379
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,908
CAN YOU GIVE ME
A MINUTE?
380
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:04,842
RIGHT.
381
00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:10,681
AUGUST, HOW COULD YOU
DO THIS TO ME?
382
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:14,351
ME DO THIS TO YOU?
WHAT KIND OF A BOYFRIEND
ARE YOU?
383
00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:16,487
YOU--YOU LUST
AFTER OUR MUSIC TEACHER.
384
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,389
YOU FLIRT WITH
THAT SLEAZY LORNA.
385
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:21,759
OK, BUT IN ALL FAIRNESS,
THEY BOTH TOTALLY
BLEW ME OFF.
386
00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:30,801
MARY.
387
00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:33,838
DON'T TALK TO ME.
388
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:38,109
YOU LOST THE RIGHT
TO EMBARRASS ME IN PUBLIC
WHEN WE STOPPED DATING.
389
00:19:38,111 --> 00:19:40,077
I FORGIVE YOU, MARY.
390
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,579
YOU'RE FORGIVING ME?
391
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:42,647
FOR WHAT?
392
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:44,314
FOR HOW
YOU DECEIVED ME...
393
00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:47,384
HOW YOU LED ME TO BELIEVE
YOU WERE UNAFFECTED
BY OUR BREAKUP,
394
00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:50,955
WHEN IN FACT, YOU WERE
A HUNGRY, FRIGHTENED
LITTLE BALLERINA
395
00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:54,325
CAREENING OUT OF CONTROL
AT 80 MILES AN HOUR.
396
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,992
FOR YOUR INFORMATION,
397
00:19:55,994 --> 00:19:59,197
MY EATING HAD NOTHING
TO DO WITH YOU.
398
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,499
THAT'S WHAT YOU'D LIKE
ME TO THINK, ISN'T IT?
399
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:03,968
I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU THINK.
YOU DO, TOO.
400
00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,469
I DO NOT.
DO, TOO.
401
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:06,537
DO NOT.
TOO!
NOT!
402
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:07,971
WHY DON'T YOU JUST ADMIT
403
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:09,040
THAT YOU'VE BEEN EATING
BECAUSE YOU MISSED ME?
404
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:10,241
WHY DON'T YOU JUST ADMIT
405
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,509
THAT YOU'VE BEEN EATING
BECAUSE YOU MISSED ME?!
406
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:12,610
BECAUSE
I DON'T MISS YOU!
407
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:15,913
WELL, I DON'T
MISS YOU, EITHER!
408
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,248
ARE YOU AS HUNGRY
AS I AM?
409
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:18,249
MORE.
410
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:19,182
OH!
411
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,498
HELLO, SALLY.
412
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:35,599
HELLO, DON.
413
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:41,172
HOW ARE THINGS GOING
WITH...JEREMY?
414
00:20:41,174 --> 00:20:42,540
JEREMY'S DEAD!
415
00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:44,775
THAT'S TERRIBLE!
416
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:46,277
I'M SO SORRY.
417
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:47,210
OH!
418
00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:56,787
MY PANTS FIT!
I WON THE WAR!
419
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,388
THAT'S GREAT,
DICK.
420
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:01,259
YOU LOST WEIGHT?
421
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:03,193
EVEN BETTER.
I BOUGHT BIGGER PANTS.
422
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:07,064
GOOD THINKING,
TINY.
423
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:09,467
WHY ARE YOU
EATING
LIKE THAT?
424
00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:12,436
[MUMBLING]
425
00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:15,273
I'M SORRY
TO HEAR IT.
426
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,775
WELL, DICK,
YOUR SALAD'S READY.
I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.
427
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,678
SALAD?
LITTLE GUYS NEVER
KNEW WHAT HIT 'EM.
428
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,947
WHO WANTS SALAD?
I WANT SOME REAL FOOD!
429
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,549
I CANNOT BELIEVE
HOW INSENSITIVE
430
00:21:25,551 --> 00:21:27,051
YOU AR--
SHH! LISTEN!
431
00:21:27,053 --> 00:21:28,718
[ICE-CREAM TRUCK
MUSIC PLAYING]
432
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,887
MR. FROSTY SMOOTH!
MR. FROSTY SMOOTH!
433
00:21:30,889 --> 00:21:32,322
HE'S RIGHT ON TIME!
434
00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,960
3:46 ON THE DOT.
435
00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:41,031
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--
436
00:21:42,901 --> 00:21:44,901
Harry: IT WAS
THE END OF A LONG DAY,
437
00:21:44,903 --> 00:21:47,904
AND ALL I WANTED TO DO
WAS SIT BACK, HAVE A DRINK,
438
00:21:47,906 --> 00:21:49,840
AND THINK
ABOUT LOVE'S FURY.
439
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:55,412
I KNEW THE DAME
WAS TROUBLE THE MINUTE
SHE WALKED IN THE DOOR.
440
00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:58,015
DID YOU DRINK
ALL THE MILK AGAIN,
YOU IDIOT?!
441
00:21:58,017 --> 00:21:59,449
GO BACK TO BED!
442
00:21:59,451 --> 00:22:03,154
MY GUT TOLD ME
THINGS WERE ABOUT
TO GO FROM BAD TO WORSE.
443
00:22:08,261 --> 00:22:09,893
I HATE IT WHEN I'M RIGHT.