1 00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:07,639 YEAH. WHAT TIME ARE YOU OPEN UNTIL? 2 00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:09,408 YOU CLOSE AT 5 P.M.? 3 00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:10,742 YOU'RE A RESTAURANT! 4 00:00:12,013 --> 00:00:14,012 I HATE THIS TOWN. 5 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,113 GREASED LIGHTNING! 6 00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,149 WHERE'D YOU GET THAT THING? 7 00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:20,519 I GOT IT FROM MISS DUBCEK'S GARAGE. 8 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:23,322 WHOA! MY TURN! MY TURN! 9 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:26,725 OH, NO. I DON'T THINK I'LL BE GETTING OFF ANY TIME... 10 00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:32,898 BEFORE RIGHT NOW. 11 00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:36,067 HEY, BABY. VICKI'S BACK. 12 00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:37,536 GRR. 13 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,105 SO, VICKI... 14 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:44,109 WHY DIDN'T YOU KEEP IN TOUCH? 15 00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:47,346 I MUST HAVE WRITTEN YOU 2 LETTERS. 16 00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:51,082 BUT I DID NOT RECEIVE THOSE LETTERS. 17 00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:53,218 OK! OK! MAYBE I DID. 18 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,986 BUT I'M A DIFFERENT WOMAN NOW, HARRY. 19 00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:56,187 MARGARET THATCHER? 20 00:00:58,192 --> 00:00:59,191 NO. 21 00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,126 AH. GOOD. 22 00:01:01,128 --> 00:01:02,060 KITTEN... 23 00:01:03,129 --> 00:01:04,329 WE NEED TO TALK. 24 00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:07,733 OH. LOOK, THIS IS WONDERFUL. 25 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:08,901 HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT FOR IT? 26 00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:10,235 AND DON'T DO ME ANY FAVORS. 27 00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:11,770 I INTEND TO FORK OVER A PRETTY PENNY. 28 00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:14,139 I COULDN'T SELL THIS. IT'S A KEEPSAKE. 29 00:01:14,141 --> 00:01:15,574 DICK, CAN I GET A TURN ON THAT THING? 30 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,874 HA! YOU WISH. 31 00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:22,581 I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU. 32 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,150 I'VE DECIDED TO BECOME CELIBATE. 33 00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:31,422 AW, YOU CAN TELL HARRY ALL ABOUT IT 34 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:33,358 WHILE WE'RE HAVING SEX. 35 00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:38,497 NO, HARRY, PLEASE STOP. I'VE GOTTA PURIFY MYSELF. 36 00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:42,367 I'VE DECIDED TO BECOME A LICENSED MASSAGE THERAPIST. 37 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:48,239 AND MASSAGE THERAPY REQUIRES A GREAT LEVEL OF SPIRITUALITY. 38 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:50,842 WHOO! 39 00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:53,278 THIS BEATS THE HELL OUT OF THAT CARDBOARD BOX! 40 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:58,516 SO, ARE YOU STILL ON THAT CRAZY CELIBACY KICK? 41 00:01:58,518 --> 00:02:00,819 OH, HARRY. COME ON. YOU KNOW HOW IT IS. 42 00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:03,121 THE SEX LEADS TO BOOZE, 43 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,823 AND THE BOOZE LEADS TO DRUGS, 44 00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:07,292 AND THE DRUGS LEAD TO STEALING STUFF FROM MY MAMA. 45 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,094 [DICK SCREAMING] 46 00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:15,133 Dick: THAT WASN'T FUN AT ALL! 47 00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:20,105 LOOK, DICK! YOUR FOOT'S ON BACKWARDS! 48 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,780 WELL... 49 00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:05,317 I'LL SEE YOU FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. 50 00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:06,585 BEST WAY TO GUARANTEE THAT 51 00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:08,353 WOULD BE TO SLEEP ON TOP OF ME. 52 00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:16,327 OH! OH! 53 00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:19,898 CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS WHEELCHAIR DIDN'T COME WITH A WARNING? 54 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,533 YEAH. SOMETHING LIKE, UH, 55 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,035 "DANGER-- DON'T BE AN IDIOT 56 00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:25,503 AND RIDE THE WHEELCHAIR DOWN STAIRS"? 57 00:03:25,505 --> 00:03:28,339 THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE SPIRIT OF THE WARNING, YES. 58 00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,341 BIG DEAL. YOU BROKE YOUR FOOT, 59 00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:32,410 YOU CAN'T WALK FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS. 60 00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:34,212 THERE'S NOTHING TO DO IN THIS TOWN ANYWAY. 61 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,613 THINK YOU'RE FORGETTING-- 62 00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:37,115 BARBER SHOP GOT A RADIO. 63 00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:39,952 THAT'S RIGHT. I FORGOT. 64 00:03:39,954 --> 00:03:41,386 THE BARBER SHOP GOT A RADIO. 65 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:44,589 WILL SOMEONE PLEASE SHOOT ME IN THE EYE? 66 00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:46,524 HEY! GIVE ME BACK MY ICE! 67 00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:08,880 EXCUSE ME. ANYONE. 68 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,482 EXCUSE ME! 69 00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:11,482 YOU, YOU, AND YOU! 70 00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:12,683 DO YOU NEED SOME HELP? 71 00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:14,319 NO, I DON'T NEED ANY HELP! 72 00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:15,753 DON'T PATRONIZE ME! 73 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,556 NOW, GET ME UP THOSE STAIRS! 74 00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:20,592 COME ON! COME ON! 75 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,159 I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY! 76 00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:24,262 UP! UP! UP! UP! 77 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,297 OH! OH, MY-- 78 00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:27,532 IDIOTS! 79 00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:28,667 YOU BRUTES! 80 00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:32,637 OUT OF MY WAY, YOU CLODDISH BUFFOONS! 81 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,038 DR. SOLOMON! 82 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,774 IS THAT YOU? 83 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,175 WE DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE COMING IN TODAY. 84 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:39,076 NINA, MOVE HIS DESK CHAIR. 85 00:04:39,078 --> 00:04:40,879 YOU WILL NEVER, 86 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:43,281 IF YOU LIVE TO BE 10,000 YEARS OLD, 87 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,784 SUFFER THE INDIGNITY THAT I HAVE JUST SUFFERED! 88 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:49,020 I PRAY THAT YOU WILL JUST SO YOU'LL KNOW HOW MUCH IT SUCKS! 89 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,655 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 90 00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:51,857 THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY 91 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:52,958 FOR A PERSON IN A WHEELCHAIR 92 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,292 TO GET INTO THIS BUILDING. 93 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,461 DID YOU TRY THE RAMP? 94 00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:02,467 IS THAT SOME KIND OF WHEELCHAIR MOVE I'M EXPECTED TO KNOW? 95 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:06,204 NO. IT'S A WHEELCHAIR-ACCESSIBLE ENTRANCE WITH A RAMP. 96 00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:08,339 IT'S ON EVERY BUILDING AT PENDLETON. 97 00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:09,540 WELL, NOT ON THIS ONE. 98 00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:11,175 THE RAMP IS ON THE SOUTH SIDE. 99 00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:12,276 OH. 100 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,048 MIGHT AS WELL BE IN PORTUGAL. 101 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,683 'CAUSE IT'S SO FAR AWAY? 102 00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:21,987 NO, NINA, BECAUSE PORTUGAL IS AN ANCIENT LAND 103 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,921 OF FASCINATING MARITIME CULTURE. 104 00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:25,690 YES, IT'S SO FAR AWAY! 105 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,360 DICK, HOFF HALL IS A LANDMARK. 106 00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:30,729 IT IS OVER 100 YEARS OLD. 107 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:31,997 THE RAMP IS ON THE SOUTH SIDE 108 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,898 SO IT WOULD NOT RUIN THE FACADE. 109 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:37,168 BUT THAT MEANS THAT I HAVE TO PASS BY PROFESSOR STRUDWICK'S OFFICE, 110 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,003 AND EVERY TIME I DO, HE DRAGS ME IN, 111 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:42,006 MAKES ME LOOK AT HIS PICTURES OF SALMON. 112 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,408 DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A COHO AND A SOCKEYE? 113 00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:46,177 WELL, I DO! 114 00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:52,016 HARRY, KNOW WHAT? 115 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,918 I BELIEVE THAT I WAS... 116 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,556 PUT ON THIS EARTH TO HELP PEOPLE. 117 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,757 AND ONE DAY EVENTUALLY... 118 00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:01,226 I'D LIKE TO BECOME A SAINT. 119 00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:05,397 HARRY... 120 00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:07,098 COULD YOU PULL MY PANS DOWN? 121 00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:10,902 THEY'RE RIGHT OVER THERE. 122 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,190 THANK YOU. 123 00:06:33,192 --> 00:06:37,228 ISN'T IT NICE THAT WE GET A CHANCE TO VISIT? 124 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,930 OHH. 125 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,799 I NEED SOME SUGAR. 126 00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:44,569 BABY, I'LL GIVE YOU SOME SUGAR. 127 00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,439 IT'S RIGHT OVER HERE. 128 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:52,944 YOU KNOW, WE GET A CHANCE TO TALK 129 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,112 ABOUT EACH OTHER'S DREAMS AND OUR INTERESTS 130 00:06:55,114 --> 00:06:58,316 WITHOUT THE DISTRACTION OF SEX. UGH. 131 00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:01,186 SOMEBODY TOLD ME THAT WAS A GOOD THING. 132 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:03,021 YEAH. LIKE TO KILL THAT PERSON. 133 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,524 OH, HARRY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 134 00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:07,558 IN MY MASSAGE CLASS, 135 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,361 I'VE BEEN LEARNING ALL ABOUT CRYSTALS. 136 00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:10,362 CRYSTALS? 137 00:07:10,364 --> 00:07:11,363 YEAH. LOOK AT THIS. 138 00:07:11,365 --> 00:07:12,530 NOW, SEE, THESE 2 THINGS 139 00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:14,732 ARE CALLED TROUBLE STONES. TAKE THEM. 140 00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:16,501 AND YOU PUT THEM RIGHT ON THE PART OF YOUR BODY 141 00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:17,936 THAT FEELS TENSE. 142 00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:27,245 IRONIC THAT THEY'RE BLUE. 143 00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,220 THE PHYSICS OF FLUID DYNAMICS 144 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,255 WORKS ON A CELLULAR LEVEL AS WELL. 145 00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:40,425 HIGH PRESSURE LIQUIDS TRAVEL FREELY AND WITHOUT EFFORT, 146 00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:43,294 WHILE LOW PRESSURE LIQUIDS ARE NOT SO LUCKY. 147 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,362 OH, NO. NO! 148 00:07:45,364 --> 00:07:47,666 THEY'RE FORCED TO STRUGGLE 149 00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:50,068 THROUGH A TOTALLY INCONVENIENT MEMBRANE, 150 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,671 ALL THE WAY AROUND TO THE SOUTH SIDE 151 00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:55,173 OF THE DAMN MITOCHONDRIA. 152 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:58,443 AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SENSES AN ANALOGY HERE? 153 00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:00,445 THERE'S NO RAMP ON MY SIDE OF HOFF HALL, 154 00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:02,147 AND I THINK THERE SHOULD BE. 155 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,347 DR. SOLOMON? 156 00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:05,483 OHH, HERE WE GO. 157 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:08,352 LET'S HEAR ALL THE REASONS WHY I'M WRONG, 158 00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:10,488 INCONSIDERATE, BULLHEADED, RACIST-- 159 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,390 ACTUALLY, DR. SOLOMON, I AGREE WITH YOU. 160 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,327 YOU DO? 161 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,163 YES, I THINK THAT PEOPLE IN WHEELCHAIRS 162 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,764 SHOULD HAVE THE SAME RIGHTS AS EVERYBODY ELSE-- 163 00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:21,766 OH, THANK YOU, KAREN. YOU'RE SO RIGHT. 164 00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:24,002 THEY DESERVE A RAMP ON THE NORTH SIDE OF HOFF HALL. 165 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,303 THE UNIVERSITY WON'T BUILD IT 166 00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,138 UNLESS YOU FIGHT FOR IT, DR. SOLOMON. 167 00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,773 IT'S LIKE THE TIME I WENT ON A HUNGER STRIKE 168 00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:30,642 TO GET A FRENCH FRY WARMER FOR THE CAFETERIA. 169 00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,677 YOU--YOU NEVER WENT ON A HUNGER STRIKE. 170 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,979 I DIDN'T EAT FRENCH FRIES FOR A WHOLE WEEK. 171 00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,547 YOU'VE ALL INSPIRED ME. 172 00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:39,017 I WILL FIGHT FOR THIS UNTIL THE BITTER END. 173 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,084 I'M WITH YOU, MAN! 174 00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,786 ALL RIGHT! ME, TOO! 175 00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:44,789 I'M LESS ENTHUSIASTIC, BUT I'LL SHOW UP. 176 00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,491 I HAVE MY MANDATE! 177 00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:47,692 LET'S ROLL! 178 00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:48,626 LET'S DO IT! 179 00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:54,932 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 180 00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:59,538 WHOA! THAT LOOKS REALLY COOL. 181 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,707 MAN! FEEL THE BEAT! 182 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,242 I WANT TO GO IN. 183 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,077 BUT, WAIT, WAIT. IF WE DON'T BRING DICK HIS MEDICINE, 184 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:09,514 HIS LEG'S GONNA SWELL UP LIKE A BIG, PUFFY YAM. 185 00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:11,282 THAT'S OK, 'CAUSE DICK LIKES YAMS. 186 00:09:12,585 --> 00:09:14,285 ALL RIGHT. YOU, IN. 187 00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:15,353 YOU, IN. 188 00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:16,354 YOU... 189 00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:19,057 UH-UH. BYE-BYE. 190 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,458 IN. 191 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:21,592 YOU'RE IN. 192 00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:23,361 GO HOME. 193 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,865 DON? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 194 00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:29,901 JUST BECAUSE I'M A COP BY DAY 195 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,770 DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T SIN AT NIGHT. 196 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,740 WELL, HOW DO YOU SIN? 197 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:38,410 I'M THE GATEKEEPER OF THE SIN DROME. 198 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,879 THAT'S THE NAME OF THE CLUB. 199 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,013 OH, SO YOU'RE A BOUNCER. 200 00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:43,014 YOU WANT IN OR NOT? 201 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:43,948 YEAH. 202 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,485 HOLD IT, SQUIRT. 203 00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:49,287 WHAT? I'M NOT DRESSED COOL ENOUGH? 204 00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:50,789 YOU'RE 16. 205 00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,691 YOU HAVE TO BE 21 TO GET INTO THE SIN DROME. 206 00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:54,392 THAT'S SIN DROME POLICY. 207 00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:56,394 AH. SO I AM DRESSED COOL ENOUGH. 208 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:57,528 NO. 209 00:09:57,530 --> 00:10:00,064 HELLO. YOU'RE IN. 210 00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:01,499 AH. YOU MAY COME IN. 211 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:09,607 YESTERDAY, DECEMBER SECOND, 212 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:13,911 A DAY THAT WILL LIVE IN INFAMY, 213 00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:16,281 I PULLED MYSELF UP THESE STEPS, 214 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:20,251 ONE CEMENT INJUSTICE AFTER ANOTHER. 215 00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,554 BUT TODAY I PLEDGE TO YOU, 216 00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:24,722 MY SISTERS AND BROTHERS, 217 00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:27,158 THAT UNTIL THEY BUILD A NORTH RAMP 218 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,727 ON THIS SIDE OF HOFF HALL, 219 00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:31,896 I WILL NOT REST. 220 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:36,835 EXCEPT FOR THE OCCASIONAL NAP. 221 00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:39,070 YAY! YAY! YAY! 222 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,006 MARY, LOOK. 223 00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:43,541 IT APPEARS THAT THE MOB LOVES ME. 224 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,443 THAT'S ALWAYS A GOOD SIGN. 225 00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,044 HMM. THE BEST. 226 00:10:47,046 --> 00:10:48,513 DICK, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? 227 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:49,814 YOU'LL BE BETTER IN 3 WEEKS. 228 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,516 WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THIS RAMP? 229 00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:52,817 WELL, I CARE BECAUSE THEY CARE. 230 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,252 YOU'RE ONLY DOING THIS 231 00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:56,321 BECAUSE YOU LIKE IT THAT PEOPLE ARE LISTENING TO YOU. 232 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:59,190 A SECOND RAMP IS UNNECESSARY AND STUPID. 233 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,491 DR. ALBRIGHT. 234 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,626 YOU THINK HELPING DISABLED PEOPLE IS STUPID? 235 00:11:02,628 --> 00:11:03,761 [CROWD BOOS] NO. 236 00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:04,796 [HISSING] 237 00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:07,031 OH, SHUT UP. THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! 238 00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:08,232 YOU JUST CAN'T STAND THAT EVERYONE HERE 239 00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:09,634 THINKS I'M RIGHT AND YOU'RE WRONG. 240 00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:12,169 DICK, WHAT'S RIGHT ISN'T ALWAYS POPULAR, 241 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:14,305 AND WHAT'S POPULAR ISN'T ALWAYS RIGHT. 242 00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:16,173 YES, BUT I'M BOTH RIGHT AND POPULAR. 243 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:17,709 EVERYBODY HATES YOU. 244 00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:20,745 YOU ARE DOING THIS BECAUSE YOU HAVE A MOB OF PEOPLE 245 00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:22,747 EATING UP YOUR EVERY WORD. 246 00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:24,215 THAT'S NOT TRUE. 247 00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,450 AM I RIGHT? 248 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:27,051 Crowd: YES! 249 00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:36,060 HERE WE GO. 250 00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:38,796 BEAUTIFUL. 251 00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:40,631 SMILE. 252 00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:46,971 HEY, WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE. 253 00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:48,539 WHAT IS THIS? 254 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:51,175 "ANATOLY CHUBAIS"? 255 00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:53,044 THAT'S NOT MY NAME. 256 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,145 IT DOESN'T MATTER. 257 00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,514 BUT I DON'T LOOK LIKE I'M FROM GUAM. 258 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:57,649 YES, YOU DO. 259 00:11:57,651 --> 00:11:59,817 YOU REALLY DO. 260 00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:00,919 I HAVE A COUSIN FROM GUAM. 261 00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,453 YOU LOOK MORE GUAMISH THAN HE DOES, 262 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:04,822 AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN FROM THERE. 263 00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:06,423 SALLY, I'M READY. 264 00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:07,358 Sally: OK. 265 00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,829 LOOK AT YOU. 266 00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:13,798 DID YOU GET ALL DRESSED UP FOR ME? 267 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,233 WELL, GOOD. YOU SHOULD HAVE. 268 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,768 ACTUALLY, WE'RE GOING TO A CLUB. 269 00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:19,904 YES, YES. YOU MAY BE ALL GLITTERY ON THE OUTSIDE, 270 00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,473 BUT I'M ALL GLITTERY ON THE INSIDE. 271 00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:24,776 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I GIVE YOU 272 00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:26,978 THE NORTH RAMP. 273 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,114 WHERE'S THE RAMP? 274 00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:31,115 THERE. 275 00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:32,416 THERE? IN FRONT OF EVERYTHING? 276 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,418 WELL, IT'S A RAMP INTO THE BUILDING. 277 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,920 WHERE DID YOU EXPECT IT TO GO? 278 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:36,921 I DON'T KNOW. 279 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,924 WHY NOT IN THE BACK WITH THE OTHER RAMP? 280 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,126 SINCE WHEN DID YOU BECOME AN ARCHITECT? 281 00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:45,096 NO, NO. ALL I NEED NOW IS THE FINAL APPROVAL 282 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,698 OF SUSAN BILLNITZER, THE CAMPUS ENGINEER, 283 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,534 AND VOILA--RAMP. 284 00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:51,269 I THOUGHT YOU SAID THEY DIDN'T HAVE THE MONEY TO DO THIS. 285 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,837 UH, THEY DIDN'T. 286 00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:56,074 SO THEY DECIDED NOT TO BUILD THE DAYCARE CENTER. 287 00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:01,846 OH, WHAT ARE THE KIDS GONNA DO? 288 00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:05,082 THEY CAN PLAY ON THE RAMP. 289 00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:09,754 YOU KNOW... 290 00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:13,424 KIDS LOVE SLANTY THINGS. 291 00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:15,526 I KNOW I DO. 292 00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:17,261 HI, HI, HI! 293 00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:20,865 WHO'S READY TO GO SHAKE THEIR GROOVE THANG? 294 00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:23,835 MAMA, PLEASE DON'T TALK. 295 00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:27,371 DICK, WHY DON'T YOU LET ME GIVE YOU A MASSAGE? 296 00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,807 YOUR MUSCLES ARE JUST GONNA ATROPHY. 297 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,976 NOW, I COULD GIVE YOU A NICE DEEP-TISSUE ROLFING 298 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,311 OR MAYBE A LIGHT SHIATSU? 299 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,214 OH, NO, THANKS. I'VE ALREADY EATEN. 300 00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:40,051 WHY DON'T YOU MASSAGE ME, VICKI? 301 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,620 WELL, NOW, HONEY, YOU KNOW IF YOU AIN'T BROKE, 302 00:13:43,622 --> 00:13:45,356 I CAN'T FIX YA. 303 00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:50,461 AH! NO PAIN, NO GAIN. 304 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,531 I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY. 305 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,604 HARRY? HARRY? DID YOU HURT YOURSELF? 306 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,474 NO! 307 00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,784 YOU WERE BORN IN 1968? 308 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,088 I DON'T WANT THE BOYS TO BE INTIMIDATED 309 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,624 BY MY EXPERIENCE. 310 00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:21,693 WHATEVER. YOU'RE IN. 311 00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:23,928 OK. IN. 312 00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:24,929 OK. 313 00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:25,930 HI, DON. 314 00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:26,931 WELL, SALLY. 315 00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:29,333 I'LL SEE YOU IN THE V.I.P. LOUNGE. 316 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,803 NAH, IT'S FAKE. 317 00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:34,305 HOW DO YOU KNOW? 318 00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:37,342 WELL, THE LAMINATE IS PEELING FROM THE CARDBOARD, 319 00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,177 AND I USED TO DATE YOUR SISTER. 320 00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:40,211 COME ON, TOMMY. 321 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,779 I AM NOT TOMMY. 322 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:42,880 MY NAME IS ANATOLY. 323 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,849 I'M FROM THE U.S. TERRITORY OF GUAM. 324 00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:48,486 OK. THEN WHERE EXACTLY IS GUAM LOCATED? 325 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,188 THE KIDNEY-SHAPED ISLAND OF GUAM 326 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,756 IS LOCATED AT 13 DEGREES NORTH LATITUDE, 327 00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:54,692 144 DEGREES LONGITUDE. 328 00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,327 ITS OFFICIAL BIRD IS THE TOTO, 329 00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:57,595 ALSO KNOWN AS THE FRUIT DARTER-- 330 00:14:57,597 --> 00:15:00,264 ALL RIGHT! SO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT GUAM. 331 00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:01,899 OH, MR. CHUBAIS. 332 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:02,833 MR. CHUBAIS. 333 00:15:04,870 --> 00:15:05,870 I SAVED YOU A TABLE. 334 00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:08,005 THANK YOU. 335 00:15:08,007 --> 00:15:10,474 NOW, THEY'RE GUAMISH. 336 00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:47,678 WELL, DR. SOLOMON, THESE PLANS ARE FINE. 337 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,347 THE RAMP IS STRUCTURALLY SOUND. 338 00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,148 RUBBER STAMP. SMART MOVE. 339 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:54,218 LIKE I SAID, PERSONALLY, I DON'T SEE WHY YOU NEED IT. 340 00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:56,020 THERE IS THE RAMP ON THE SOUTH SIDE. 341 00:15:56,022 --> 00:15:58,322 SOUTH RAMP. SOUTH RAMP. 342 00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:01,158 THE HOLLOW REFRAIN OF THE RULING CLASS. NO, NO. 343 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,194 YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS RAMP IS 344 00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:06,564 TO THE QUALITY OF LIFE FOR THE UNIVERSITY. 345 00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:07,765 UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN THE WORLD 346 00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:10,034 FROM THE VANTAGE POINT OF A WHEELCHAIR-- 347 00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:16,407 MUCH AS YOU YOURSELF ARE...NOW DOING. 348 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,275 YOU KNOW, YOUR REQUEST KIND OF SURPRISED ME, 349 00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:20,311 CONSIDERING THE SOUTH RAMP IS RIGHT THERE 350 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,812 NEXT TO THE HANDICAPPED PARKING. 351 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,348 WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO GO ALL THE WAY AROUND IN FRONT? 352 00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,584 WELL, BECAUSE IT'S... 353 00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:27,985 FURTHER. 354 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,688 AND, UH... I, FOR ONE... 355 00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,957 FEEL THAT I'VE... 356 00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:35,493 MADE MY POINT. 357 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:41,899 DICK? 358 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,836 DICK, IS THAT YOU? 359 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:49,874 MEOW. 360 00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:51,308 HI, DICK. 361 00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:53,677 OH. HI, SALLY. 362 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,079 WHY AREN'T YOU AT THE BIG RAMP DEDICATION? 363 00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:56,113 EVERYBODY'S WAITING FOR YOU. 364 00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:58,949 OH, SALLY, I WAS SO WRONG ABOUT THIS RAMP. 365 00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,518 AND NOW I NEED YOU TO HELP ME COME UP 366 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,019 WITH A REASON WHY IT WASN'T MY FAULT. 367 00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:04,989 WELL, HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY, 368 00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:06,023 OR IS THAT JUST OUT? 369 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,526 OH. EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE, 370 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,128 I'M RIGHT AND PEOPLE THINK I'M WRONG. 371 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,496 AND NOW WHEN I'M WRONG, 372 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,764 THERE'S NO ONE AROUND TO CALL ME AN IDIOT. 373 00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:15,433 WHERE ARE ALL MY CRITICS? 374 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:16,834 WELL, TOMMY'S AT SCHOOL, 375 00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:18,136 HARRY'S WITH VICKI, 376 00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:20,805 BUT, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I THINK YOU'RE AN IDIOT. 377 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:23,007 OH, THANKS. DON'T TELL THE OTHERS, 378 00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:25,409 BUT YOU'RE MY FAVORITE. 379 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:28,679 LET'S GO. 380 00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:32,817 ♪ SMILE ON YOUR BROTHER ♪ 381 00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:35,319 ♪ EVERYBODY GET TOGETHER ♪ 382 00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:37,555 ♪ TRY TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER ♪ 383 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,689 ♪ RIGHT NOW ♪ 384 00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:41,859 ♪ RIGHT NOW ♪ 385 00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:43,294 ♪ RIGHT NOW ♪ 386 00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:44,995 Man: QUIET DOWN. 387 00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:48,699 I WOULD LIKE TO START THE CEREMONY BY ASKING DR. SOLOMON 388 00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:52,203 TO SAY A FEW WORDS ABOUT HIS ACHIEVEMENT HERE TODAY. 389 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:57,241 NO, NO. UH...NOW, THERE WERE A LOT OF PEOPLE 390 00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,676 WORKING TOGETHER HERE. 391 00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:01,445 I--I DON'T DESERVE ALL THE BLAME FOR THIS ACHIEVEMENT. 392 00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:02,980 RIGHT, SALLY? 393 00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:04,815 IT'S ALL YOU, BIG GUY. 394 00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:06,283 [CHEERING] 395 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,321 GO AHEAD, DICK. BREAK THE GROUND. 396 00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:12,290 NO, NO, NO. PLEASE. 397 00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:13,591 [APPLAUSE] 398 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,625 IF YOU WANT TO FOLLOW SOMEBODY, 399 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,427 LOOK TO SUSAN BILLNITZER. 400 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,795 SHE USES THE SOUTH ENTRANCE, 401 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,330 AND SHE'S NEVER BEEN HAPPIER. 402 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:21,732 SO, EVERYBODY LISTEN UP BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT. 403 00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:23,634 STOP LISTENING TO ME. 404 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:24,635 GO ON, DICK. LET HER RIP. 405 00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:25,636 OH, NO, NO, NO. 406 00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:26,637 Woman: COME ON. 407 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:27,638 YEAH! COME ON, DR. SOLOMON. 408 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:28,972 NO, YOU DON'T NEED THIS. 409 00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:31,575 DICK! DICK! DICK! DICK! 410 00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:33,211 STOP IT! DICK! DICK! DICK! DICK! 411 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:35,079 DICK! DICK! DICK! DICK! 412 00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,828 YOU READY TO GO? 413 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,896 UH, NO. I'M NOT GOING TO GO OUT TONIGHT. 414 00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:54,064 I'M BURNED OUT. 415 00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:57,001 ALL RIGHT. WELL, DON'T WAIT UP FOR ME. 416 00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,036 WHY THE HELL WOULD I? 417 00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:17,588 [DEEP VOICE] HELLO. 418 00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,456 I'M AN ADULT OF LEGAL AGE, 419 00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:22,326 AND I'VE COME TO PATRONIZE YOUR ESTABLISHMENT. 420 00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:25,096 ALL RIGHT. GO ON IN. 421 00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:26,029 [REGULAR VOICE] COOL. 422 00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:32,670 THERE'S NO ONE IN THERE. 423 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,272 THE SIN DROME IS OUT. 424 00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:36,440 IT'S OUT? 425 00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:38,375 YEAH, IT USED TO BE IN, BUT NOW IT'S... 426 00:19:38,377 --> 00:19:40,344 OUT. 427 00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,279 YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT IN ITS HEYDAY. 428 00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:44,481 WELL, GOD KNOWS, I TRIED TO! 429 00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:56,026 HOW DO YOU HYPEREXTEND YOUR BACK SITTING IN A WHEELCHAIR? 430 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:59,530 BY STOPPING A BULLDOZER WITH YOUR BARE HANDS. 431 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:00,698 YOU FELL OUT. 432 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,200 I FELL OUT. 433 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:07,271 I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW MANY NOOKS AND CRANNIES A MAN HAS. 434 00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:13,444 I'M GONNA GO HAVE AN ENGLISH MUFFIN. 435 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:16,747 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 436 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,115 HOW CAN THE SIN DROME BE IN ONE DAY 437 00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:19,650 AND THEN OUT THE NEXT DAY? 438 00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,051 AH, PEOPLE ARE LIKE SHEEP. 439 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,120 THEY'RE LOST UNLESS THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO FOLLOW. 440 00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:24,388 I KNOW. 441 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,191 I WAS THE ONE SADDLED WITH THE BURDEN OF LEADERSHIP. 442 00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,727 OH, PLEASE! YOU LOVED IT. 443 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:32,596 I DID, DIDN'T I? 444 00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:35,099 I GUESS I STARTED TO BELIEVE MY OWN RHETORIC. 445 00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:37,301 I NEVER QUESTIONED WHAT I WAS DOING. 446 00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:39,536 THAT'S THE DANGEROUS PART. 447 00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:41,304 I BECAME A DEMAGOGUE. 448 00:20:41,306 --> 00:20:44,541 I WAS INTOXICATED BY THE CROWD'S APPROVAL 449 00:20:44,543 --> 00:20:47,044 UNTIL THE CAUSE BECAME SECONDARY. 450 00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:48,946 DON'T YOU MEAN THE CAUSE BECAME STUPID? 451 00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:53,317 LET'S NOT ARGUE SEMANTICS, ALL RIGHT? 452 00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:54,885 HEY, THAT FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT? 453 00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:55,819 ACTUALLY, THAT KINDA HURTS. 454 00:20:58,324 --> 00:20:59,389 NOW THAT REALLY HURTS. 455 00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:01,858 OH, IT HURTS SO GOOD, DOESN'T IT, BABY? 456 00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:03,694 HURTS LIKE HELL. 457 00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,663 YOU WANT MORE? YEAH. 458 00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:07,064 OW! MORE? YES. 459 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:08,065 OW! MORE? 460 00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:09,967 YES. STOP. 461 00:21:11,037 --> 00:21:14,105 I'M SO TIRED OF CLEANSING MYSELF. 462 00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:15,773 NOW I WANT TO GET DIRTY. 463 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,813 GET IN THERE! AAH. 464 00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:30,420 HEY, HEY. 465 00:21:30,422 --> 00:21:31,421 YOU'RE UNDERAGE. 466 00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:33,290 I AM NOT. 467 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,625 ALL RIGHT, GO ON. 468 00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:41,164 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org-- 469 00:21:43,268 --> 00:21:44,267 A LITTLE LOWER. 470 00:21:44,269 --> 00:21:45,268 THERE. THAT'S PERFECT. 471 00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:46,269 HOW ABOUT EVEN LOWER? 472 00:21:46,271 --> 00:21:47,304 LIKE, SAY, UNDER YOUR DESK. 473 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:50,141 WHY? I PREVENTED THE ADMINISTRATION 474 00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:51,842 FROM BUILDING A RAMP THAT WOULD HAVE DEFACED 475 00:21:51,844 --> 00:21:54,044 A HISTORIC LANDMARK. I'M A HERO. 476 00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:55,812 PEOPLE CAME OUT TO SUPPORT YOUR CAUSE, 477 00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:57,347 AND YOU HIT THEM WITH A SHOVEL. 478 00:21:57,349 --> 00:22:00,117 ONCE AGAIN, YOU JUST CAN'T STAND 479 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:01,618 THAT I'M RIGHT. IT'S SAD. 480 00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:03,120 COME ON, DICK. 481 00:22:03,122 --> 00:22:05,255 LET'S GO TRY OUT THE WEST RAMP. 482 00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:06,957 YOU MEAN THE WEST STAIRS. 483 00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:08,892 WHATEVER. 484 00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:11,194 Dick: WHERE WE GOING? MARY. MARY.